I’d ‘a Danced Like the Queen of the Eyesores*

I didn’t write yesterday because I fell asleep Friday night while grading and then got up Saturday and kept grading. No art. Just trying to catch up. Not doing a great job of it. I did finally get to quilting at some point last night…and into the morning. I’m planning on doing today slightly differently. For one thing, I can’t go to sleep at 1:30 AM on a school night.

I lie. I CAN. But I shouldn’t. In fact, for about a year, I did just that. It was bad.

Grading meant cats lying on my stuff. It was hot yesterday, close to 100 degrees. Southern California sucks at Fall weather.

IMG_8285 small

Then he moved to the notebook. Because I was obviously using it, so lying on it made sense. I picked up his head to put papers under it a few times…

IMG_8291 small

This one was polite and just laid upon the graded paper pile. Although then I had to extend the pile past her because she was already lying on it.

IMG_8296 small

I realized I hadn’t touched this in days, so I did 4 nights’ worth…basically finishing the iris of the eye and starting on the white part…

IMG_8297 small

I keep trying to use a more sketch-like way of stitching, but I’m inherently ordered in how I stitch I guess.

IMG_8298 small

Then I made it into the quilting space around 10:30 PM…on a day when I had nothing but errands to do. Well. And grading. I was trying to get to a certain point. I did not. I gave up. Interestingly, here’s when I do all my work…after 9 PM.

IMG_8313 small

Still debating this app. It might work. If I can remember what each icon is for. Plus at some point I’ll probably have to pay to have enough tasks…we’ll see. I don’t think this is one of the ones that charges monthly. I don’t need that level of tracking. And the last one I paid for disappeared with the new iOS…I’m still salty about that.

I’m still outlining stuff…I’ll be doing that for a while.

IMG_8299 small

That’s a fun heart. I want to do one like that again…much more decorative than in the old days. My hearts really have changed over the years.

IMG_8300 small

The eyes haven’t changed much…there’s only so many ways to make an eye. That’s not true. That might be a challenge. Huh. I need drawing time. Seriously need it.

IMG_8301 small

I did her torso and the head, except for half of the hair. I still need to do the other arm, but I’ll do the chalkboard first. I meant to buy thread for the chalkboard when I got the background thread, but I forgot. I’m hoping there’s something in my pitiful stash so I don’t have to go back to JoAnns this close to Halloween. Damn.

IMG_8303 small

I could have gone to bed at midnight…that’s about when I started quilting the head. But I didn’t. I kept going. I wasn’t tired.

IMG_8305 small

It’s kind of boggling how much time some of this takes.

My plan for today is to finish up the school stuff that I have to do and then start quilting. I’d like to get the outlining done today. I don’t know if I can, but that’s my goal. Then I can do background quilting all week and hopefully make time somewhere to go buy binding fabric and get it bound early next week. It’s taking too long. It’s not really…I was drawing in mid-August…and basically I’ve worked on it solidly, almost every day, since then. While working full time. But it’s taking up a lot of space in my head. Certainly last night while quilting the path that bullets would take through the head…you can only think about that shit so much before your brain gets tied up in knots.

In other news, the girlchild has been accepted to a school program in Madagascar…you know, where the outbreak of plague is. Yeah. Exciting stuff, but a bit scary for all of us. She’ll have an awesome experience…just getting there will take her two full days. But very cool opportunity…

OK. Work briefly and then quilt until I have to stop…

*The Shins, New Slang

I Wanna Shut the Door and Open Up My Mind*

So the only way I know the kids are alive is when they text me. That’s fine…but I can tell the girlchild is buried in schoolwork because all I see of her are her Likes on Instagram. And the boychild will respond to pictures of potential coyote poop and junk mail. I guess the girlchild liked the cute ferret video. I think. I guess all that is good…they responded when I asked about flying them home. It’s just been a real quiet week…

My students are doing a superhero project…some are worried about the drawing part. I don’t know why. Here’s what I drew for them.

They’re obsessed with the perfect body superheroes. I’m like…why? Dorky kid superheroes!

I made apple crisp this week…because I knew I’d need it. Comfort food. Apple crisp for breakfast is perfectly acceptable. No it’s not. But it’s what’s for breakfast today.

I started quilting last night…late…I had my stitching meeting first. I didn’t get much done…head and tail tufts on the elephant, and then the start of turkey work (guided by Julie, I started making them much tighter) on these, which are apparently cattails. Or is it catails. No. That looks wrong.

I didn’t even photograph the head and tail tufts. It’s gonna be a rough day. Brain appears to be offline.

Midnight was incredibly interested in the quilting.

So interested that she left 5 minutes later. I didn’t quilt a lot…just the dirt. I was tired. It was late. Manhandling a quilt at 11 PM after a long day is not easy. Plus I had a tweaked spot in my right hand. Not sure from what…turkey work? Pulling the needle? The gym? It still hurts this morning, although not as much. Inside the hand…probably more stupid arthritis. I have arthritis in one of my feet. Sigh. Old age.

My weekend is kind of laid out for me: about 5 errands, not desperate mostly. Lots of quilting. Lots of grading.

Yup. Très exciting. This thing will not quilt fast, that’s for sure. I did already buy the thread for the background quilting. Honestly, it doesn’t sound like a bad weekend, except for all the grading. I expected to get more done in class this week with the kids working on an independent project, but they haven’t been very independent. That’s unfortunate. I will need to bust my butt a little bit this weekend instead.

But first I need to get through Friday at school. Ugh. I’m really not in the mood. More loud music needed.

*Linkin Park, Runaway

You Understand They’ve Got a Plan for Us*

I’m realizing this week that I’m not coming home and doing schoolwork. I’m not grading assignments. I’m not being a responsible teacher person. I’m behind and need to get caught up, but I’m not doing it. I will. But this project is driving me. I need it done and out of my head and at the photographer’s so I don’t have to think about it, see it, feel it any more. Plus I’m going a little bonkers because my co-conspirator in furry beast maintenance is not here this week and said furry beasts are being more than a bit demanding.

So yesterday I went to the gym. That was good. I read. I exercised. I zoned out in exercise brain. It’s a good thing.

And then I came home, peed the dogs (which currently requires a couple of leashes and a flashlight due to coyote incursions and massive spider webs), then started part of dinner, showered, came out and checked the timer on the food (16 minutes) and cleaned the entryway floor for later artistic shenanigans. It might be the only way that floor gets cleaned regularly, honestly, because it’s never high on my list. Finally food was ready and I ate and read some more. I do love to read.

Then I had no choice but to get in here and get this thing sandwiched. Huge as it is, this was gonna be a pain.

Iron backing. Trim selvages. Cut in half. Sew halves together. Iron some more. Trim excess off.

Lay it upside down on the now-clean entryway floor (barely fits). Tape it down as flat as possible (replacement floor in here should be tile…but bigger tiles and less obvious grout).

Try to figure out how much batting to cut by laying the top out on the chunk of batting I found over the weekend. Cut batting a bit larger than the top.

See seriously sleeping dog.

Lay batting out. Iron quilt top and lay it out on top. Try to get it straight. Wish I cut the backing a bit larger to make that easier. Duh.

Stare at it for a bit. Realize it’s after 11 PM and you will need to finish pinning before you can go to bed. Accidentally spill all the pins onto the quilt. Not what you meant to do.

Start pinbasting. Look at this view. Disturbing.

That dog. Seriously.

Then this one…he’s never seen me do this before. All the cats have an interesting relationship with my quilts. This one wouldn’t listen when I told him to get off.

The cats never do listen.

This one has learned to stand at the edge and woof at me. Wait. That’s not a cat. And you saw the other dog. Totally ignores me.

Pinbasted by midnight. Ready for quilting. Getting close to the end. Closer anyway. I don’t kid myself…quilting and binding this sucker is going to take a while. No shortcuts on that part.

I head for bed. Kitten. You need to move.

I’m tired this morning. And none of the grading got done. Oh well. I worked for 3 hours last night on that quilt. Sometimes that amazes me. I worked all day in the classroom, went to a meeting after school, the gym for almost 2 hours, and then 3 hours of artmaking. I really wanted to sit and watch some light TV and draw with a glass of wine last night after all that kneeling and crawling around on the floor, but then I looked at the clock and it was almost midnight…so I went to bed anyway. Probably the smarter thing to do, but I still want that other time. Maybe tonight? Or not. That really is the part of the balance I haven’t been able to slot in. Teachers. Silly teachers. Always talking about balance and never achieving it. Sigh.

*Big Data, Dangerous

I Can’t Operate on This Failure*

I’m ready to be Australia. Well. Except for some of the crazy bugs and spiders. Y’all can keep those. But let’s hand in all the guns. I think the biggest obstacles are the politicians who are more worried about their jobs than their constituents. No automatic or semi-automatic weapons…can you really argue that we need those? You do realize people in Australia can still own a gun, right? There are just strict rules for how and what. I have no problems with strict rules. Can you argue that your right to protect yourself is more important than my approximately 3,300 students’ (over 15 years) right to live? Or the 58 people who died in Vegas? Or the 49 who died in Orlando? Or any young black man wearing a hoodie?

The plus is that I finished stitching down the anti-gun quilt. Let’s be clear…my quilt is Anti-GUN. Because we don’t need them. Not in the numbers we have them. Not for what they’re being used for. Not. I just (in less than 5 minutes) contacted my three federal representatives. Told them to stand up and create legislation and keep fighting for it until it passes. Start there. You can do that.

This is who stares at me on the way home…after I pick her up…

She wants to know why I’m not petting her. And then why I’m not throwing the ball faster.

Still working on the eyeball in the top right. It doesn’t look like much right now.

Then I stitched. Well, I made dinner first. And finished my book…The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet. I liked it. And then I read some Goodreads reviews and felt bad for liking it. And then decided those people had no lives and I was allowed to like it. So there.

Stitching things down…

Sometimes I really hate America for its aggressive patriotism. I’ve been told so many times to LEAVE because I don’t agree with the majority…and I explain that is why we are here…because our ancestors didn’t agree with the majority and needed to flee…so we took over someone else’s country in a particularly nasty and violent way (somehow it was our inalienable right? I don’t think so…). So I mostly write off anyone who tells me I’m not patriotic when I object…it’s the core part of our country. I’m allowed.

Ah…this thought bubble. Why do people shoot other people up? Anger? Hate? Fear? Core emotions…that mature brains can learn to manage.

In a society that appreciates that. Yesterday, in the assignment we’re doing in class, I had told each class “no weapons” for their element superhero. One class started to argue…and I turned and said, “Really? After Las Vegas, you’re going to argue that you need weapons? Solve the problem without them. That’s what I want to see.”

Seriously. America. Solve the problem without guns. Do it. You know you can. We have some of the best brains in the world. Use Them. If you’re a politician scared for your job, then GOOD. Do it anyway. It’s worth it.

I did finish the stitch down, just short of 6 hours.

The face of gun violence here in America…tonight I’ll sandwich it and pinbaste it…maybe even start quilting. We’ll see. Meanwhile, I started reading a book about violence in Africa. Maybe I should look for something lighter after that.

*Tears for Fears, Pale Shelter

I Won’t Back Down*

I keep skimming the news, looking for logical reasons to shoot up hundreds of people at a music concert, but all I see is more evidence that this was planned. Then I try to understand the brain that would do that…and I can’t. I understand anger and sadness and frustration, but not when it turns into that.

The work day wasn’t that hard…it was processing the rest that was hard. So I came home and took the dogs out…

Three miles (ish) as fast as we could go.

The sun was trying to beat us back. There’s coyotes out there, so that shit makes me nervous with the little guy…but we made it.

Good for them, good for me.

After making dinner, I had decided I wanted to do another eye, so I started it randomly on the right.

I only do one strand a night…this is Sunday’s and Monday’s…

I saved the blue for the iris, but maybe I’ll keep going with another color instead. I’ll have to see how I feel about it.

Then I had to force myself to get up and go in the office to sew.

Yeah. Well. Understandable. I realized how long ago Sandy Hook was and it took me that long to be able to process it into a piece of art. Some of that is not wanting to make A work that commemorates ONE event…it’s more about the feelings and ideas behind the event. Certainly Sandy Hook wasn’t the first school shooting, but it was the hardest to process…someone coming in and shooting up little kids for no apparent reason. Having worked in middle and high schools, the reasons to be angry and feel harassed, bullied, oppressed, to the point of thinking a shooting is a good idea? I can imagine that. Unfortunately. But little kids…seems so much worse. It’s not really…it’s innocent people of all ages, isn’t it? And Sandy Hook obviously wasn’t the last.

I hate that we’re becoming a country where it feels unsafe to do just about anything: go to work, get on a plane, go to a concert, go to school, go to a church, go to the store, the library, wherever. It shouldn’t be like that. There’s nothing about possessing a gun that would make me feel more safe. I have one and some “lone wolf” (really??? he was an older white male…most dangerous species out there, if you ask me) has 20 of them. Legally.

OK. Well. With all that weighing on me (and it IS weighing on me), I have a parent meeting this morning. I haven’t even gotten to Tom Petty…sad sad sad.

So many favorites of his…but this one is making me cry this morning.

*Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, I Won’t Back Down

Dreaming of the Dolphin Song*

I think I have now yelled at every animal in the house…well, except Kitten. No. Wait. Yeah, she hissed at me and tried to bop me. I’ve called all of them assholes. Part of it is that I’m the only human here and it shows. The other part is waking up to a massive shooting event just hours after a conversation with my parents about guns in America vs elsewhere. In fact, if I’d checked the news before I went to bed, I probably wouldn’t have slept.

I don’t pray. But Vegas, you have all my good thoughts, all my hopes that the death toll doesn’t rise, that there’s some sort of explanation for this. Who am I kidding? There is no explanation for this. None. I’d like to think that things might change because of this, that those with guns might see the light. But no. They won’t. It’s not THEEEEMMMM. It’s only the OTHER PEOPLE with guns. Fuck.

I am going to be glad when this quilt is done.

So here’s the random shit in my brain this morning. Because my brain is wandering. Saw this…

Fucked up.

Then there was this. I guess that’s supposed to be an exoskeleton. Or someone doesn’t know that spiders don’t grow bones. Hard to say.

This is when Satchemo was being nice. There were not nice issues later.

I was grading stuff and some kid gave me this. Honestly, it reminded me of the boychild, who often peppers text conversations with puppies and kittens. Ironically.

Good kid. I sewed after dinner. While someone mowed down concertgoers, I stitched down pieces in an anti-gun quilt.

I sewed down a bullet trail and bullets.

I didn’t get to the hand that tried to stop the bullets unfortunately. I did sew down all of the female figure and a good portion of the chalkboard behind her.

I’m using the third trial app for measuring time. I don’t know if I like it yet, but that’s because I still have only one task on it and it’s taking a little bit to get used to it. I need certain information out of it. So we’ll see. I haven’t upgraded yet…waiting to see if it will work for me.

Kitten was waiting for me when I went to bed.

I tried to go to bed early. Didn’t work. Didn’t sleep well either. Need to leave soon. Feeling out of it.

I did spend some time yesterday pricing out what I want to do in shelves in my office to replace the cracking old plastic drawers…it’s only $864. No biggie. Yeah. OK. Moving on. And that’s with 25% off. Then I looked at my mom’s, which is still Elfa, but a cheaper solution than what I had figured out. I’ll price that one too, but it might be a while before I solve that problem.

Tonight? Walk dogs, cook dinner, pet cats, then sew some more. I don’t think I’ll finish tonight, but maybe? Unlikely. Sigh. Guns. Fuckers with guns.

*Regina Spektor, Folding Chair

Your Eyes Make a Circle*

Yesterday, I sewed. Not a lot. I also cleaned some stuff and organized some shit and moved some crap around and booked flights for the kids and I don’t even know what else, but I also sewed. I kinda wanted to see what it looked like when I sewed, so I figured out a way to prop the phone tripod on my bosom (yes, I just typed that…laughing while I did it, but for realz, that’s what I did) so I could do just that. Here it is…

And all I can say is wow…no wonder I’ve sewn through my finger more than once. Yup. I sew like I drive, I guess. Except fewer driving accidents than sewing ones, honestly. It’s very strange to watch one do things that one has been doing since one was 10 years old. Seriously…I’ve been sewing on a machine for 40 years. Wow. Long time. Longer than I’ve been doing most things.

So I started the meditative stitchdown in the afternoon and got the entire bottom section done…more later today…that’s the plan anyway. I’ve got errands to do first.

It’s fast because there’s not a lot of pieces or detail, but not REALLY fast, because everything is very big.

I pile it on the machine when I’m not sewing so that sweet furry black thing can’t lie on it…

Later, in front of the last episode of Ozark (not the baby! not the baby!), I did three nights on the left of this…staying caught up is getting harder I guess. Some star stitches and fly stitches and a herringbone. I think the corner is almost done.

Then we were still watching, so I got all the dots on this one; now it’s ready for embroidery…

And this one too…so that’s April, ready to go in the bag for the fun part.

I started working on June, but then TV time was over and there were dueling cats and eventually bedtime. Plus I got sidetracked by the fact that June blocks are supposed to be sewn to other blocks before I sew stuff down, but I’ve already started sewing stuff down, so I’m fucked. That’s it. Throw it out.

Naw. Not really. Just gonna improvise a bit.

Up too early this morning for the airport (not me, not the cats).

I keep the trash pieces around for a while…needed to cut a pencil tip, because I’d lost it and never found it and didn’t realize until I was doing the stitch down. These are useful because of weird shit like that.

Straight up, I’m tired, I’ve got a ton of schoolwork to do, and I really need a neck/shoulders massage so my chiropractor can crack the mousing side of my back. Just so you know. This week is going to be a bit of a challenge…but I’m trying to plan out enough that it’s not worse than it could be. I might need a nap. Like now. Not now. Now to stores. Bad Kathy. No nap for you.

*U2, I Will Follow

Long Ago Somebody Left with the Cup*

I’m a little slow today…Saturday mornings should involve sleep and multigrain pancakes and some book reading and the petting of furry beasts. I did already check my batting and backing stash and I have enough for this one…so I can sandwich it on demand, whenever I finish the stitch down. I still need thread, but I can do that tomorrow. I have stuff I can use for the outlining…just the background is that weird brown color and brown is not something I usually use.

No, I didn’t get anything done on it yesterday…yesterday was tiring and then we gamed…yes, I do sew while gaming…

Especially when I’m really tired, because it helps keep me awake and focused on the other stuff. I have a brain that requires multiple levels of entertainment.

I really love how this is turning out. I finished the seed stitch all over the elephant and then embellished the moon.

All I have left is those weird flowers and May is done. I’ve been getting April ready to go…one of the three blocks is ready to be embellished. The others still have some wool stuff that needs to be stitched on…just little things though. Then I’ll try to do the months in order. I promise.

So I’ll start stitch down in a little bit…I was trying to deal with some work stuff this morning. And getting the kids home for the holidays. And considering how to get the girlchild to Madagascar, assuming that’s where she’s going in Spring. Talk about a hellish flight situation. Anyway. All that is done. It’s good. It was weighing on me. I’ll still have to deal with the international stuff once we have confirmation.

Someone asked about the symbols on arms in the new piece…some are pretty obvious. The others might not be.

The female (teacher) figure has an apple and Teach America…pretty blatant.

And a peace symbol. Because. Yeah.

The male figure has a rifle sight image…I found a lot of versions of these online.

And one of the NRA logos. Their lobbying for gun rights here are unfortunately very well-funded.

This is another gun sight. The gray arm in the middle is trying to protect her, but obviously failing…gray for neutral. Because I think the American government is refusing to take a stand (it’s too political) and yet wants to protect the innocents from these shootings. But it isn’t doing (really) anything to make that happen, so they might as well be placing gun sights on all those populations that keep getting targeted…schools specifically, because that’s my own regular experience with these conversations. Talking to 12-year-olds about guns at school. Giant ass sigh. Not teaching science, but death avoidance.

But the government, in refusing to act against big lobbies and gun-happy populations, to do what is best for everyone, with evidence from other countries who HAVE limited gun purchases, have placed those gun sights on many groups…people of color, those in the wrong place at the wrong time, victims of domestic violence, people who just happen to be in a theater when a crazy person who got hold of a gun got pissed off, or a business where someone worked and got mad and got even. Sigh. Seriously, America, get your priorities straight. Humans over gun rights. Hands down.

OK. Gotta get some work done.

*Cake, The Distance

Now the Party’s Over*

OK. Last night was the night. It’s when I finally saw the whole thing ironed out. We’re good. I really should trust my instincts after all these years, but there’s often that moment of uncertainty when I’m not sure it’s gonna work.

Before I ever started ironing last night, though, I packed a quilt up for Quilts=Art=Quilts so I could ship it this morning. And then I went to my quilt meeting…although I should probably stop labeling it with the word ‘quilt’ because half the people knit. Let’s call it a String Meeting. A friend I used to work with always asked me how my string things were going, because another friend at work knitted and I quilted and he could never remember which was which, but he knew they all used strings.

Because this quilt was at a stage that is not transportable, I took my handwork with me. I needed to get the wool pieces sewn down for April (yes, I’m working on May…I’m a little wombly sometimes). These are two of the three blocks, but there’s a bunch of pinky-red flower dots that have to be sewn on, plus I had to find the eyeball fabric when I got home. So luckily I’m still working on the May elephant block, because these aren’t ready. But soon.

Then I headed into the studio and pieced a backing, shoved the ironing board and chairs out of the way (I should have kicked them out of the studio), and threw the whole thing down on the floor.

Sometimes it’s a mistake to try to iron a big quilt down on the floor in there, so I do it in the entryway, but it was almost 11 and I didn’t want to mop the floor, because it was pretty dirty. Luckily it worked…I managed to line up the male’s head and gun with the hole in the chalkboard (note to self…no need for a hole there…if I’d drawn it all behind the gun, I wouldn’t have had to worry about it). I also managed to get everything else flat. Miraculous really.

Midnight was no help.

And then I spent about 40 minutes with a spray bottle and a hot iron, trying to make sure it would stick long enough for me to stitch it down…which I could start tonight, if it wasn’t gaming night. Surely I will start tomorrow.

It’s hanging up there and it’s too big for the space, so that’s a seriously wonky picture. But it’s gonna work. Outlining in the quilting for sure. No way do I have a thread that color…so this weekend, check batting and backing, and buy thread.

I’m sort of amazed by how hard this has been to make. I started teaching at age 35, recently divorced, with two little kids. The school where I started had very little support for new teachers. I had another science teacher I connected with who helped me a lot, but she has since quit. Nine days after I started my first job, two students brought a gun on campus to kill a teacher who “gave” one of them an F. Another kid snitched. I hate that word. I love that she told someone responsible. But those were the days before lockdowns. I remember at lunch, alone in my room, seeing kids running for the back part of the school in a huge bunch, but no one told us what was happening. I went home clueless…until I was watching the news last night and they broke the story.

There was no shooting. As far as I know, the teacher never came back. The gun never made it into the classroom…it was hidden on campus. That was a Friday. Eventually they called an emergency meeting for Monday morning. And that’s when lockdown drills started here in San Diego…or soon after. It was 3 years after the Santana High School shooting, back when these things were not so commonplace. I had a hard time dealing with the situation. It was hard for me to think that I might not make it home to my own very small (at that time) children because of something like that. And I have to say, that feeling has never gone away. I do still go back to school every day. Why? Because of the kids.

I’ll write later about a conversation I had last year with my students…which is also what this is about.

Deep stuff. Stitch down this weekend. Then sandwich and quilting.

*Roxy Music, Avalon

And I Will Try to Fix You*

Silly me, thinking I was gonna finish last night…because it bugged me most of the day, way back in the way back of my brain, but I was fairly sure I could make it better. So once I got home and got past the paralyzing exhaustion I apparently caught on the way here, I grabbed a blank piece of paper and traced over the part of the drawing that I wanted to change…

I was trying to keep the original drawing simple, so I only added one target, but then it ended up being on one of the lighter-colored heads, which was silly (but random) and said something I didn’t want it to say. It’s not that one kid is a target in a school shooting…in reality, a lot of the time, I think some kids might be because of bullying (them being the perceived bullies, and perhaps even in real life) or teachers or other staff might be, but sometimes it’s just anger at the whole world and a school has a lot of concentrated human beings so maybe it’s easier to go in there if you need to shoot a bunch of living creatures? Humans, to be specific…you don’t hear about zoo shootings or pet store shootings. I’m not being facetious…I’m serious here. Why does any sane (and that might be the issue) adult walk onto a school campus and shoot unless they feel the campus is part of their problem? I don’t pretend to understand anyone who uses a gun to solve their problems.

I did trace Wonder Under before dinner and a movie (it was one of those nights)…and caught up on three night’s worth of this. I’m behind because I’m doing other art stuff. I did stuff in the bottom left again…filling space…leaves and parts of that vine…

And after the movie (where I was sewing wool bits together)…I ironed. First I finished the thought cloud…but I had lost (misplaced) one of the Es…so this is why I keep my trash pile. It was in there. Duh.

And ironed it together…

Again, making a guess about what’s going through their heads. It’s hard…bullying is a real thing in middle and high school. Kids can be vicious assholes. But it would be nice to live somewhere that the solution was NOT to bring a bunch of guns to school and spray bullets everywhere.

So this was all ironed down already. I was hoping it wasn’t ironed down super hot, so it would still release and allow me to push stuff underneath. Otherwise, this would have been a pain in the ass.

I was still gonna do it though. Luckily, it did release pretty easily.

So I ironed and cut out and then ironed down all these little tiny target pieces…so it wasn’t about one kid with a target that was supposed to stand for all of them. I didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding about the target. Mostly the kids that get killed or shot (and hell, I go back to Sandy Hook Elementary every time…) just happen to be there. Because who shoots kindergarten kids? Because he had access to guns…otherwise maybe he would have done something else, something less deadly.

Such a dark place I go to when I work on this. Because as a teacher, I always have in my head what I will do if a shooter arrives on campus…how I will protect a classroom full of 12-year-olds? And if your response is to arm ME? Yeah. No. That’s not a solution. More guns. You want a gun to shoot? To protect yourself? To hunt? Is that more important than a 6-year-old’s life? Tell me that. Truthfully.

No. I didn’t finish.

*Coldplay, Fix You