Pouring Down All Over Me

August 27, 2016

Finally was able to name this one…

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

I’ve been calling her Earth Mother 2016 since I started her in April. I knew I wanted to do another Earth Mother. I’ve done a few over the years. Well, more than a few. So I named it Holding It All In…because that’s what it felt like. Usually titles are much easier than this. It took me over two weeks after finishing it. Most quilts name themselves during the drawing stage or as I’m working on it. I listened to a bunch of music, looked up quotes about earth mothers and nature and the planet. I wrote down some stuff to try to stimulate my brain. Finally I just put the picture up on the screen and stared at it, let my brain wander around with the image. Took about 10 minutes. Kinda funny. Because otherwise she was gonna be Yet Another Earth Mother and that’s a shitty title.

The one I’m working on right now already has so many titles. I will have to choose.

I didn’t get anything done last night. Sometimes that happens. It’s OK. I make art almost every day. Sometimes my brain is on another quest. I’m going to finish the fabric choosing today. As soon as I get back from picking a background for the owl. I need to get ready to leave honestly.

I came back last night to Kitten in the damn fabric box again. My fault for not covering it. She was not happy when I did that. Sigh. Because there aren’t other boxes filled with fabric that cats have sat on in here? I can point her to another one that three other cats have sat in besides her. But she doesn’t want THAT one.

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I sent one dog to her dad’s to play. Two is easier, but only slightly.

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OK. More accomplishment of art stuff will happen while you’re not watching.

*Peter Gabriel, Red Rain

 


More Than This*

August 24, 2016

So AQS finally felt enough pressure (thank you all) to make a statement about pulling my quilts (although they only talked about pulling the one). I’m confused because it doesn’t match anything I was told. Well, except that they removed it. The statement is below…I’m not exactly sure where it’s posted in real life, because it wasn’t sent to me by AQS. Nothing has been sent to me or communicated to me from AQS directly.

“After receiving numerous complaints from attendees about a quilt in the SAQA exhibit, AQS removed the quilt from the People & Portraits exhibit at the Grand Rapids QuiltWeek event.

Prior to removing the quilt, the feedback AQS received was not limited to one isolated comment. Attendees reached out to AQS staff at the show and via emails and phone calls to our office.

Despite the removal of this quilt, AQS was able to display more than 700 other quilts at the show for viewing by the general public in Grand Rapids.”

This kind of thing makes me sick to my stomach. I’m amazed by their disrespect toward me and SAQA. And I’m worried that this will hurt me and other art quilters in the long run. I wonder if there were no comments during the other four QuiltWeek events or if I was just kept out of the picture. I remember the feeling in my gut when SAQA told me this exhibit was traveling with AQS. I think I have quilt show PTSD at the moment. So I guess any traveling show I’m in, my work will now get pulled if it goes into one of the quilt show circuits. Thanks to the Mancusos for not reacting that way back in 2011. Appreciate the respect.

Here’s a post by Virginia Spiegel that explains why I haven’t been sleeping for the last week. As I’m sitting here working on the next “controversial” quilt, I’m wondering how this is going to affect me. I have a piece in SAQA’s Turmoil exhibit that will hopefully travel after it shows in IQF Houston this year. Or maybe it won’t. I’ve already been warned that my Earth Stories piece might be too controversial and pulled from some venues (it deals with free birth control and Planned Parenthood, giving women who WANT it the power to control how many children they have and how often).

Will the work I’m making now ever be in an exhibit? I hope so. But if it’s not, I blame AQS. I blame the woman (what I was told in the beginning) who saw an imaginary penis. Shit. I blame the country’s attitude toward women at the moment and controversy and anything that isn’t pretty. Don’t get me wrong…I love me some pretty art and beautiful quilts. But that’s not all there is.

I really really tried last night to get my head into art so I could sleep. The last part was a failure, but I got a lot of ironing done (and know that there’s some shit at school as well right now that is incredibly overwhelming and stressful, so that’s not helping with the sleep part.).

I lay pieces out by the 100s…I think these are the 600s? Or maybe the 500s.

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When I’m dealing with figures, I try to do all the flesh pieces at the same time, so I know what is what color. This is the 2nd figure, the one in front. Some people are going to look at her and be disturbed. AND THEY SHOULD BE. That is my intent.

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Then I laid out the 3rd figure, who is just behind the 2nd one, so mostly hidden, except for head and shoulders.

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I haven’t ironed all the inner non-fleshy bits though…I still have to do hearts and lungs and hair and anything else that wasn’t basic flesh color. I’ll do some of that tonight, I think.

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I’m in the 700s, but there are probably close to a hundred pieces that aren’t done prior to that (hearts etc.). So maybe halfway done. Shit. It’s taken 11 hours. Not a fast process, by far.

Here’s what I’ve used so far…lots of flesh colors. The pile that’s not in the boxes is for the last figure, who does still have arms and shoulders and head showing.

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Here’s what I have ironed down so far.

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I’d like to be done with ironing them down before the weekend, if not before, but I’m not sure I can do that in two nights. Not if it’s another 11 hours. I did iron for 3-plus hours last night. I kept waiting to be tired. Honestly, I was also watching the last episode of Happy Valley and couldn’t stop. Great show.

On top of this, I’m currently dealing with an extra dog. It was more than I needed yesterday. It took two of us humanoids to manage dinner, and I won’t have that help for the next 4 days. Too much stress. Maybe they’ll be more mellow tonight.

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Kitten is fine though. Irritated about the extra dog, because she’s a cat chaser, but…

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She loves me even though I brought the interloper in.

Shit. This week. This month. I’m going into full hermit mode soon. OK. Maybe I’m already there. I hear all of your messages though. I’m trying to NOT hear all the other messages out there in the world.

*Roxy Music, More Than This


Just What I Needed*

August 22, 2016

So last Wednesday, Jennifer Ackerman-Haywood of CraftSanity contacted me and asked if I’d do a podcast about what happened at AQS Grand Rapids. She’d seen the quilt earlier in the day and stared at it for a long time, and then saw later it had been pulled. She wanted to tell both sides of the story, but AQS officially has No Comment. So we recorded this podcast on CraftSanity. It’s long…but if you listen to it while piecing a quilt or doing some hand-sewing on a binding, well that would be awesome. Or if you want to know what happened, what the quilt is about, and what Jennifer and I hope will happen with the future of quilt shows, then have a listen. It might be NSFW or kids if you don’t want the words penis and vagina floating about. But otherwise, I put on my best teacher voice and didn’t use any swear words. I know, right? That’s a shocker.

Someone commented that the quilt with the imaginary penis was “odd and a little nasty.” I’m still thinking about this one. I will totally agree with odd. It is odd. Welcome to nightmares. But a little nasty? Like stepping on dog poop nasty? Or a little nasty like when you meet your husband at the door in that cute little lingerie thing? Or like porn? I just don’t get that one. Odd OK. Even creepy. Disturbing. Yes. Nasty? Eh.

Meanwhile, I’m still working on the next quilt. It’s on a pretty tight deadline and I have at least two to follow on equally tight deadlines. So I can’t really lie around and eat bonbons or whatever it is I’m supposed to do in between finishing one and starting the next. Plus with both kids gone, the house is very empty, and if I don’t want to have sad conversations in my brain, I have to give it something else to worry about…what colors to pick next? That’s a good choice.

I started ironing down on Friday night and did some on Saturday and Sunday. Not a lot, because I had a lot of other stuff to deal with, but some.

I had a pile of rocks to iron. So I laid out all the rock pieces in order, stared at the drawing, and tried to make logical decisions about what color for each one.

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At the end of Saturday, I’d gotten this much done…not a lot.

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I’d also photographed the owl on like 14 backgrounds so the commissioner could choose one. Turns out she wants to see them in person. No problem. I cannot argue with a trip to the quilt store.

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Sunday brought a lot of work and running around, but I managed to get in here and iron for over 3 hours…mostly at night.

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This is everything I’ve used so far…someone said something about recognizing stuff in my stash. I love that…walk past a quilt, especially an art quilt, and think “I have that fabric…” or what I usually think…”I have that fabric, but in a different colorway…”. For some reason, that’s usually the case. I picked the color no one else has. Or uses.

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I’m in the lower 300s, so really not a lot of progress, but the whole bottom water/land stuff and all the land going up each side, plus the boat, that’s all done. I stopped last night because I got to the first human figure, and with four of them stacked on each other, I’m going to have to carefully pick a range of flesh fabrics. That’s not something I should start at midnight before school on Monday.

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But this is a good place to be. Making stuff.

I also spent time yesterday working on the coloring book I’m managing for my feminist art group. Yup. We’re gonna publish a Feminist Artists Coloring Book. It will have three of my drawings, including this one…

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If you recognize it, that’s because it’s this quilt…

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

Except I squished it slightly for the format of this book. My plan is to make a coloring book of just my stuff later this year. This is practice for that.

The cats have inhabited the boychild’s room…the towel is because of how long I had to spend last time getting Midnight’s hair off his chair. His chair that needs fixing because the motor is not working. I don’t know where to find a chair fixer person.

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Midnight does not care. It gives her more chair to hair.

And Kitten was checking out an alternate view (just down the hall from my office, where she lives).

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I’ll wash his bedding when the washing machine gets fixed. Right now it won’t take a large load.

So back to work today…but hopefully after dinner and dog walking, I will be able to get a significant portion of the ironing done. Well. You know. As much as I can on a school night. Guess I’m gonna have to revise my schedule. Aack. Because I really can’t! Deep breaths. It will get done.

*The Cars, Just What I Needed


Holding Hands While the Walls Come Tumbling Down*

August 20, 2016

So. A coupla things. I am behind on responding to comments. I’m sorry. It’s my first week of school. I’m a little overwhelmed. By all of it.

Second, I don’t think SAQA should pull the whole People and Portraits exhibit from the two remaining AQS shows. I think the artists and their family, friends, fans, and future fans deserve to see the amazing work in that exhibit, and I would never wish for their work to be pulled because of mine, even if mine being pulled is a crazy thing. I hope SAQA keeps up the banned quilt commentary in Chattanooga and points people to SPOOL Quilt Store to see my two quilts…because it’s nice of them to show my work and they deserve the extra business.

Third, someone objected to my calling out Fox News in a previous post. It comes to mind that maybe most of you don’t know that my work has been involved in previous kerfuffles, and every time, I’m hopeful that it will never happen again, because the world will become more tolerant and wonderful and amazing, like I want it to be. Yeah. I’m like that.

Fuck that. I have a legitimate beef with Fox News for reporting my work in the No Place to Call Home exhibit as pornography or inappropriate or any other host of words they used, when one woman called them because she was shocked I had shown a vulva in my work (she probably called it a vagina…most did), and had them come to the show and interview her. The Mancusos left the work hanging (although apparently someone put a piece of fabric over the offending vulva in Virginia), and let it continue on the quilt circuit, where there were no loud obnoxious complaints. Which is how it should be. That was back in 2011. And it reminded me that I had a brief moment of Oh Shit when SAQA announced the current exhibit was traveling with AQS. Because yeah. It’s happened before, but for a real thing, not an imaginary one.

And Quilters Newsletter Magazine reminded me yesterday that my quilt Disrupted (from the Sightlines exhibit, another SAQA show that traveled all over) had a complaint after they published it in their magazine in the December/January 2012 issue. The woman said it was like something out of Playboy magazine. QNM supported me across the board with months of positive letters about my work. That quilt got pulled from a museum in Missouri because something about school children. They did pull it before the show opened, though, but no one told me about it, which is a whole ‘nother issue that I believe has been remedied. Which is a good thing.

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That’s Disrupted. I’ve never seen anything like that in Playboy, but then again, I don’t really check Playboy out, so maybe it’s changed since I last saw one in oh about 1988, because I did this art project then using porn magazines. When I was in college. A million years ago. Maybe it’s gotten more arty, more surreal (please don’t give me shit for giving Playboy shit here).

So this is nothing new. And no I don’t like Fox, but I do like QNM. And no, I don’t like AQS. Or Playboy. But I love Mapplethorpe (look him up if you don’t know). So if you object to something I say, feel free to ask me why I said it, instead of calling me out on it. I’m a deep thinker, a reflective person, and if I call out a person or a thing, there’s usually a damn good reason for it. Just ASK. I can’t re-explain the last 10 years of my quilt life every time I post. And yes, I’ve been blogging since 2004. I also don’t like Trump or anyone else who badmouths women or children or refuges or people of a different race or any other made-up construct that people use to create hate and divisiveness.

In other news, I lied. I have a quilt with a shitload of penises in it. I totally forgot about it…it’s called Absolutely Nothing and it was made for an exhibit called Women at War

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Oh yeah, that’s a woman and she’s standing on a pile of men, who all have penises. OK. I think I only count four penises. But still. Them’s not imaginary penii. Them’s the real-ass thang.

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I had something to say with this quilt too. Shockingly. What’s amusing to me is that I’m cutting out fabrics for a new quilt right now and I’m doing more of those stacked rocks…and I think I’m using two, maybe three of the same fabrics. In the rocks. There’s no penises in the new quilt. Sorry. Because I don’t usually do a whole lot of penises. DAMN. There’s five. I suck. Five penises. OK, sometimes I do a lot of penises. Once.

Yeah. The title comes from the song War…what is it good for? Absolutely Nothing. Say it again. Plus all those woman-at-war-in-society issues.

What I really wanted to show today (before I went off last night and typed all that because I couldn’t go to sleep until it was all out of my head) was my newest quilts, one of which is huge, one of which is just plain weird but needed to be finished, and one of which reminds me of sending my daughter to college.

This is the huge one. It’s not named yet. It’s obviously an Earth Mother, but I’ve used that title before. I’m still thinking about it (no, I don’t need help. Thanks.).

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

She’s got a ton of detail going on in her…

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

And she took me most of the summer to complete…

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

She’s like the Earth Mother for Ventura of last year, except without worrying about nudity or politics, like I had to for that one.

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

Because yeah, I put a homeless woman in there too. It’s a big problem here in Southern California…and it’s not that I want to get rid of them. I want us to help them, help those who want homes, help those who want stability, realize some will need to live out on the streets, but most do not. Stop pushing them out of our communities because it scares us. Open our community arms and take them in and care for them. All the things an Earth Mother should do.

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

This is the weird one…it’s called No Service. It’s been hanging around as just a top for so long that I couldn’t take it any more and finished it.

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

And this is the one that reminds me of my daughter…hence the name Earth Daughter. That and she’s obviously a smaller version of the Earth mothers. I drew her on the plane after I left my daughter at college for the first time. Three-thousand miles away from me.

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

She’s not very big, but she still has all the plants growing in her.

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

One arm tree, some thistle, sunflowers, and cactus arm. Yeah. That’s my kid. A 4-leaf clover for good luck.

Anyway. I have a ton of school and art-group work to do this morning, but then I’m hoping to iron more on the new quilt. I did start last night, but I’ll save that for later. Plus whatever the owl background decision ends up being. And that’s where I’m letting my head stay for a while. And then I’m gonna go hold hands for a while.

*Tears for Fears, Everybody Wants to Rule the World


Out of the Doubt That Fills My Mind*

August 19, 2016

Rough night. Dropped boychild at the airport after the first day of teaching. Too much standing and talking after a summer of…well I did stand a lot when ironing, but it didn’t feel as bad as yesterday. And the talking. And the interactions with people. I know, it’s funny that I’m a teacher and an introvert, but once you get to know the kids, it’s more like dealing with friends or family than just being bombarded with a million new folks. I can see some of the kids feel the same way after a nice quiet summer of doing whatever they wanted. Plus not getting to pee when you need to…that’s always an adjustment.

So I’m sad to send my own kids back to college, but it is what it is. This is what they’re supposed to do. I do miss them pretty horribly today though.

I’m rushed this morning, so this will have to be fast. I’m still amazed by all the commentary roiling around the internet about the quilt with no penis. I have never heard from AQS…I suspect I never will.

Meanwhile, back here in my studio, I keep making stuff. A friend liked an owl buried in the middle of the most recent Earth Mother (I’ll post her pics tomorrow) and wanted it pulled out on its own for a commission. I’ve spent all summer kinda flaking on it, mostly because I wanted to make it a certain way for the Earth Mother and I wasn’t sure it was gonna work for a piece on its own. So I waited until I knew she’d seen it in those fabrics etc. and she was OK with it (she was).

Yesterday, I finished cutting out all the pieces (and promptly lost one…like a boss)…

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And then started ironing it together…

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Here’s all the wing pieces lined up in order for easy ironing…

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Two wings…

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See the internal debate was that striped fabric for the wings…and I decided it worked.

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Now she just needs to pick a background color. I photographed it on a bunch of backgrounds last night, but I don’t have time to resize them all this morning, so I’ll hopefully do that for her tonight and let her choose.

And then I can start picking fabrics for the new quilt tonight, after I walk the dogs, figure dinner out, scan all the coloring book drawings that are coming in for something you’ll see in a bit,…oh…and I forgot. Probably collapse on the couch at some point. Timed naps are useful.

By the way, this owl has no penis. In case you’re looking for that.

*Howie Day, Collide


The Phallus Debacle

August 17, 2016

Today’s title from the girlchild, who was objecting to my using the word penis over and over again. So this is what she’s calling the penis kerfuffle. And there, I used it twice. Sorry kid.

Just a quick summary, for those who don’t want to go back four or five posts…this quilt, I Was Not Wearing a Life Jacket, was pulled from AQS QuiltWeek in Grand Rapids, MI, due to a viewer complaint about a penis that isn’t actually in the quilt.

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It’s supposed to be shipped back to me, and there’s a possibility of it being shown at a quilt store, SPOOL, in Chattanooga, TN, during AQS QuiltWeek if I can coordinate shipping.

My second quilt in People and Portraits, a SAQA exhibition traveling with AQS QuiltWeek, is Fully Medicated. SAQA asked AQS for a guarantee that they wouldn’t pull it if someone complained about it, and AQS is still thinking about that. I’m hoping a bunch of emails and comments from the rest of the world help remind them that they are in the public eye and persuade them to keep it hung.

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Still no penis. But plenty of other stuff, sure. Maybe pill bottles set you off. Hard to say. I personally have issues with red and yellow used together.

I completely appreciate all those who are being supportive of keeping art out there in the public eye, even if it offends a few…or many. I heard that SAQA was showing my quilt on an iPad and telling viewers it was banned. That makes me laugh heartily, and I appreciate that too. It’s been a roller coaster of a week, what with both kids leaving for college (one is here until tomorrow…the other sent 17 homesick texts this morning at 4 AM), starting school myself, trying to deal with all the stress of change at school, and temperatures of over 100 degrees. I have a migraine this morning (not a good thing) and I’m moody as hell. Blame the censorship, blame the kids leaving, blame my stupid hormones.

I am still making. I am just looking at what I’m doing, though, and thinking “What if this never gets shown anywhere?” Because that’s what goes through your mind when you butt heads with the world like this. I’m going to keep making the art, because I don’t know how to stop…but what if I never get into another show because of it? And I know that’s not going to be the case, but that little voice in your head is worried.

So thanks to all of you…

Sigh. So last night, I did manage to sort the Wonder Under for the next quilt…I start with a box for each 100 pieces…

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And then I stood there with the fan on me directly (because it was still 90 in the house)…and I sorted.

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For about an hour? Not so bad. The last one took more like 2 1/2. There’s a lot of big pieces in this quilt. I really did try to simplify. I just suck at it.

Tonight, I’m hoping to come in here and clean up from the last quilt and all the shit I’ve been doing in between (fixing pants…organizing crap) and start picking fabrics for this one. I figure it’ll take about 15 hours to pick…so hopefully by the weekend some time? Maybe? Then trimming those…by the end of next week? Maybe start ironing next weekend? I’m really trying to get this one done on time…so it’ll be a stretch.

I have to be at school today to prep, even though I’m mostly done. I’d rather be here working. But then, that’s a daily thing.


I Like Having a Detachable Penis*

August 16, 2016

Really I don’t know how I didn’t think of this song earlier. So yesterday was the first day for teachers to be back at school, which basically means a 6-hour-long staff meeting. About halfway through the first long stretch, I get the email from SAQA telling me that AQS has pulled I Was Not Wearing a Life Jacket (or for that matter, not showing a penis) from the last of the two shows it was supposed to be in, Chattanooga and Des Moines. Understand that I’m already tired and stressed from starting school, and I vacillate between angry as hell, really frustrated with reactions to my art, and incredibly depressed about the possibility of even more restrictions on my work. There are venues where I can’t show my work even now, and there’s even issues with the art world accepting quilts as art. “It’s fabric? Then it’s a CRAFT.” Huh. Last I looked, canvas is fabric. But whatever. These are not new issues. This has all happened before, multiple times. There are magazines that won’t show my work as well, which is annoying. And no, I’m not the only one. By far.

But dammit, I want that all to change.

So I was upset. Still am. But not so upset to stop working on the next quilt. In fact, I’m powering through it because of upcoming deadlines. I honestly appreciate all the positive and uplifting comments I get from y’all. One comment yesterday I had to read aloud to the other teachers at lunch because it almost made me cry. Granted, I’m a hormonal menopausal mess, so stupid shit makes me cry. It helps…because then I feel less alone, less like I’m standing at the end of a hallway with all my work piled up around me as the door gets slammed in my face. No! You will NOT show your work!

Life Jacket was drawn around the time of the Gulf oil spill…

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That guy. Yelling at her.

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“You’re doing it wrong!”

Not a penis.

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Sigh. The second part of the email is where SAQA let me know that they asked AQS to commit to not pulling my other piece, Fully Medicated (which has had no complaints lodged against it), for the rest of the circuit. AQS is thinking about that. They Have to THINK About It. I’m really unhappy about that. They accepted the special SAQA exhibit as part of their show. They should stand behind it. Or not accept it in the first place.

Either you show art, or you admit you can’t handle it.

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I’m still waiting to hear back on that level of crazy.

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It’s funny, because years ago, when I was first starting out, I preferred the AQS magazine over Quilters Newsletter Magazine, because they had more arty articles about quilt techniques. QNM seemed to be mostly traditional stuff. But QNM has backed me for years; they have posted pictures of my work, and then backed it up in the Letters section when people freaked out about those pictures. I stopped being a member of AQS years ago, when I grew out of it, but I kept my QNM subscription all this time.

I just want AQS to feel some pressure from the quilt world. I don’t want people to not go to the shows, because that hurts the other artists as well. I want them to go and then complain to the organizers. Or email AQS and let them know they don’t support censorship. I still want them to go and see the shows and buy from the vendors, and maybe, just maybe, go check out the SAQA exhibits and see what tickles their fancy.

They pulled the quilt because one person complained about something that wasn’t there. I want to be more than one person complaining about their actions.

No, AQS has not contacted me. I doubt they will. And I may be blacklisted from their shows from here on out. Someone brought up the fact that the quilt that was at the Mancuso show where a woman not only complained, but called Fox News, who showed up and called me a pornographer…the Mancusos left the work hanging. And left it in the traveling exhibit for the remainder of the shows. I’m sure I caused them some stress, but I probably also got them some tickets sold. And there were no issues at any of the other shows

So yesterday, after being at school all day, tired and stressed, affected by all this shit, I sat down and cut out the rest of the Wonder Under for the new quilt…

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About 9 1/2 hours total. Tonight, I’ll sort them and maybe get my office cleaned up enough to start picking fabrics. I have a really tight schedule on this one…

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I also prepped a science lab for later this month…black boxes. Each box has a piece of cardboard and a marble, and they get taped shut. There are four versions, with different shapes of cardboard and/or locations. The cats did not help.

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What science teachers do at home to get ready for the school year.

Simba is being a sweetheart, sitting on the boychild…who is leaving in two days.

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I miss the girlchild already. OK. Gotta go to work and get my classroom ready for the 150 or so 7th graders who will show up Thursday. Then come home and make art that makes people freak out. Or love it. Or even just go “Huh.” And walk on by.

*King Missile, Detachable Penis


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