Even If the Skies Get Rough*

November 23, 2016

Aargh. So I was not very efficient yesterday. I could blame missing the kids, I could blame post-school brain. I could just say…hey…sometimes I can’t do what I need to do. I did walk the dogs. That was good.

And I started one drawing…just in pencil, because it’s not very high on the list. It’s just in my head, so I needed to start something.

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I don’t usually start in pencil, but I needed to for this one.

Then I started one that’s been in and out of my head for about a month…maybe more.

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This will be part of my solo show at Visions next year. I’d like to get it to a point tonight where I can enlarge it to draw the rest…because no way is it going to fit on one piece of paper. I guess I could enlarge it now…maybe. I’ll think about it.

I was supposed to spend all day yesterday cutting out pieces and then starting the ironing process. That didn’t happen.

If you walk dogs, they sleep.

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I spent about an hour with Expedia and the kids trying to reroute the boychild to the girlchild. I couldn’t make it work last night, so he’s going today. Hopefully. If the universe doesn’t fuck with us again.

I did eventually start cutting stuff out…

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And honestly, I got a lot done. All that’s left are the flesh fabrics and the sun and clouds. That’s not much, but it was more than an hour’s worth, I think. So I didn’t finish it last night. Puts me behind. Sigh. Giant sigh, actually. I still need to actually grade things. So I’m going to try to double up my efficiency today to make up for yesterday’s brain.

I miss my kids. Did I say that already? Yeah. Well. Three weeks. They’ll be home then. I can do that. And hopefully sometime today I’ll start ironing this thing together. It’s easier to stay on task when I’m ironing than when I’m cutting stuff out. Cutting just feels like it takes forever. And it doesn’t.

*Jason Mraz, I Won’t Give Up


It’s a Very, Very Mad World, Mad World*

November 9, 2016

Reeling. More worried about how to walk into my classroom today and let my almost 100% immigrant kids know that they are safe here in TrumpWorld.

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Because  I’m not sure they are.

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Reeling for women’s reproductive rights…hell, women’s rights in general. LGBTQ rights. Human rights. The Supreme Court. My taxes. My kids in college, paying college fees and loans. My health insurance. But mostly knowing that I am currently under a government that doesn’t care about those things. Or me. Or my students. And people around me voted for them…not just Trump, because he is just one man, but a conservative, racist, misogynist man who takes the slightest offense and turns it into a Tweet war, and a government that might be on his side.

I started having a panic attack around 7 or so, so I turned off the news and started tracing. I traced for over 3 hours. My kids were texting me all throughout. It’s possible the girlchild is rioting right now, while the anarchist boychild plots some sort of political overthrow. I’m OK with both of those right now. (And if they’re not, maybe they should be.)

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I guess that was my meditative solution to the stress levels.

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I’m about 540 pieces in. Another night like that and I’ll be done.

Simba tried to help. Petting animals is supposed to help.

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Yesterday’s new unit cover page.

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It’s pretty cool, but I’m more horrified by my country right now than pleased with my cover page.

Peace on people. Stand up. Get educated. Yell loud. Don’t stop yelling. Don’t give up.

*Gary Jules, Mad World


You’re My Wonderwall*

November 4, 2016

Exhaustion hit yesterday. I went to bed early even. I have to listen to the body sometimes or face consequences. Part of the exhaustion was an opening after school of the new exhibit I’m in at the Women’s Museum of California. It’s called Night Stand: Bedside Imaginings by the Feminist Image Group…strangely, I have a nightstand (it’s one word, dammit) and a bed in the show, one of only two beds…and one of the things I’ve found about trying to take photos of 3D art, even a quilt lying on the bed, is that it’s hard to get a decent picture…gallery lighting doesn’t help.

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It’s an old army cot…one I actually slept on a couple weekends ago while camping. The quilt itself doesn’t come all the way down…it’s just the top part. Begging the question of…what the hell am I going to do with this after this show closes? Dunno.

Here’s a long view that includes pieces by Stephanie Bedwell and Jeanne Dunn, as well as my nightstand with Prudence Horne on the right…oh, and Irene Abraham’s nightstand in honor of Barbara McClintock.

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This show kind of morphed, I think, after the first discussion of trying to do something like Judy Chicago’s Dinner Party (copyright issues) and then somehow got to WomanHouse…although I think I missed that meeting.

Anyway, Prudence and I worked on a nightstand that started out about the fact that we read ourselves to sleep, so our nightstands always have books on them, and then the stories you’re reading about end up in your dreams, followed by hey, some women writers have to write under pseudonyms…having to hide who they are to do what they love. So we put names of women authors with their pseudonyms (which we crossed off…it’s not who they are)…

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It’s a weird little beast, but I like it.

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This group often challenges me to do things I don’t normally do.

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I sold a pile of coloring books at the show, and there are more at the museum. I’ve been paid back at this point, which is good, and now we can start saving for the next exhibit, which is coming up all too quickly, and which I am heavily involved with. You know, in my spare time.

So that was my excuse for exhaustion. Teaching all day, then going almost directly to an opening for three hours. I got home, ate dinner, and went to bed essentially. Sad but true. We did talk at the opening about that…if I went to all the openings I got invites for, or even just the ones I wanted to go to? I would never get any art made. So sometimes we have to just stay home and hunker down.

*Oasis, Wonderwall


No Discrimination Here, Squirrel*

November 2, 2016

Huh. Yeah. OK. This week. I started a blog post. Internet (or lack thereof) just ate it.

Some weeks…some days…I get up and I eat my breakfast and take my meds and get showered and dressed and shuffle through. And it’s already a trial, so I do that thing in my head where I try to talk myself through it or persuade myself there’s some light at the end of some shortish tunnel. But some days. Weeks. Are just hard. October was a bitch. November can only be better.

It has to be. There’s no other way to go but up. Cooler weather (90 on Saturday. Shit.). Days off from school (piles to grade). Shut up brain. A chance to hike. Maybe go to the movies. Just be instead of having to be it all.

So eventually last night I got up off the couch (I was trying to grade…until I just plain gave up) and started tracing the new deadline. I’m really tired of deadlines. I need to stop thinking of them as a deadline and think of them as a way to make another quilt. But themes kick my ass at the moment. I’m tired of themes. I just wanna make stuff.

So maybe I will figure that shit out.

I didn’t get far, somewhere into the high 50s. But that’s OK.

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There’s only 800 pieces in this one…so about 8-9 hours of tracing. Probably not getting that done before the weekend, especially not with Trimester 1 ending and a field trip. Really I should just go back to bed and take a few days off. Ha!

Calli’s got it. She understands.

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Here’s the one I couldn’t post yesterday. I decided it was a laser for radiation therapy. They probably don’t really look like that at all, but tough shit. I’m OK if I’m the only one who understands my art. Today at least.

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Ugh. This mood. Sucks. Operation take care of Kathy. Going to the gym and reading my book tonight. That’s a start.

*Outkast, The Way You Move


Guess It Will Have to Wait

November 1, 2016

The tech issues continue to plague me. They’re sending a tech out Saturday. Now they think it’s the external lines. Woo hoo! “You just need to have someone home at a random time during the day.” “Do dogs count?” I guess everyone has someone waiting around to deal with the internet provider. Oh well. I’m struggling here, but surviving with waves of internet on and waves of internet off. But grades are due this weekend, and I don’t want to do that in a Starbucks.

Yesterday was mentally exhausting. I think I added up the field trip numbers 17 times and got a different answer each time. So it was an actual requirement to walk the dogs last night…especially since with the time change on Sunday, I’ll be lucky to do that after school for a good four months or so…


The sky rewarded me. 


Kitten was chilly, so I didn’t get much attention from her…she wants me to iron things so she has a space heater.

It’s really not cold here compared to where the kids are.

I finished drawing. I told you it needed a dinosaur.


It’s the first time I’ve put a dinosaur in a quilt.

I tried to persuade the little dog that the big dog would let him curl up next to her. He didn’t believe me. 


She’s warm, little boy.

I finished drawing an eyeball, like you do…


Gave her some weather…


And though ’twas late, in good Kathy fashion, I stayed up way too late numbering shit. Hey! Only 803 pieces. 


Not bad. 

 

I’m having to do this from my phone, as the computer is being an asshole. Which is too bad, because I have this edited photo on the computer that won’t freakin’ load of one of the things I drew originally on this drawing…and I’m not sure what it is.

Guess it will have to wait. 


Don’t Matter What I Do*

October 31, 2016

Internet is sorta resolved. I spent hours on it this weekend, and I’ll need professional help at some point, but for now, I’m mostly up and running. Slowly. (“I’ll need professional help”… ha ha ha. Story of my life. Seriously though…it would be nice to be able to fix something without help.)

So it was an insanely busy weekend. But I managed some drawing time…like I wrote on Saturday, I’d decided one of the problems with this drawing was the existing head. It wasn’t quite right…her expression was off. At least for what I wanted.

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Then I filled in with white paper…this thing is like a Frankenstein drawing with all the things I keep cutting off.

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That’s as far as I got Saturday…and then last night, I started drawing in. No the old head isn’t staying. She’s just watching…

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I still don’t think this thing is done. For one reason…there’s no dinosaur yet. And there needs to be a dinosaur (can’t think if I’ve ever put a dino in a quilt? Don’t think so…it’s about time.).

I’m using this Google extension Momentum on my home and work computers. It makes you write a focus each day…Sunday was impressive. But the to-do list went from 16 or so things to just 5, so I did good.

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I made the semi-last-minute decision to add a cloud to this thing, but was trying to figure out how to attach it without the staple gun that I’m pretty sure is at my ex’s house. The animals were not helping.

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Yes. I made a cloud out of fabric and stuffed it. I might make more.

This came in the mail on Saturday.

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Obviously I’m on the Turmoil side of that with my Goddess of Never-Ending Chaos

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It’s hard not going to the opening, but oh well. People are there seeing her, vulva and boobs and all. No there’s no penis. Why? Because she’s a goddess and the only appropriate place for a penis in that scenario is perhaps in her hand. Of which she has 10.

So she’s premiering in Houston, Texas, right now at IQF, which I think officially starts Wednesday or Thursday.

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That quilt has a lot going on in it.

Then over the weekend, Quilts=Art=Quilts opened with two of my quilts…although I haven’t seen pictures of them yet at the show…

Here’s Finding Peace (Bathtub 5)…

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And the ever cheery You Make Me Wanna Die

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Yeah. That one. Crazy painful. Or painful crazy. However you wanna look at it.

So hopefully people saw those too. No penises in any of them…although technically there’s a male in that one. Maybe 2.

OK. Well it’s Monday. I have an early parent meeting. It’s Halloween, so everyone will be dressed up. The teachers have this thing for themes. They annoy me, the themes (well, sometimes the teachers too). This year is Heroes and Villains. I debated Trump. But I decided to make a different statement…I’m going as Ms. Marvel, the Muslim female Captain Marvel. Easy costume from one of the covers. Way easier than last year’s cow costume, which was hot as hell…but kinda like wearing pajamas.

I’m hoping to come home, walk dogs, and then finish this drawing, maybe even number it…OR make more clouds. Whichever makes more sense to me at the time. I am so not ready for it to be November. Sheesh. Not sure where the month went, but it went. My deadlines. Yikes. And I think I’m supposed to hear about 3 entries in the next two days. Knock on wood. I don’t need to get into all of them, but one would be nice.

*The Style Council, Don’t Matter What I Do


In This Time, Give It To Me Easy*

October 29, 2016

Technology is frustrating me. My pool is frustrating me. The neighbor who is blasting PBS radio to the whole neighborhood is frustrating me. ICloud is frustrating me. My internet is frustrating me. Or maybe that’s the wifi or the router or the repeater or the modem. Fuck if I know. My schedule is frustrating me. My to-do list is frustrating me (notice a theme yet?). Shit. Seriously.

The only plus is that Sears finally sent me a check for the service they never did (probably my swearing at the 9th person I talked to when she told me that they installed on the 25th of August and my husband let them in might have been the impetus for them to finally write a check. Don’t make shit up, Sears. I fucking hate that.).

Last night, I fought tech and then graded stuff for a while and played with puppy, and finally had to leave the house. Just to find a brain. I went and watched music for a while and then came back and couldn’t function at all. I varnished the nightstand again. It’s got three coats and that might be enough.

I stared at the drawing…

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And couldn’t decide what to draw. There’s no point in fighting it. I can’t MAKE stuff come out on paper. It has to go with the idea I’m working with on this one. I wish it didn’t. Part of the problem is that this original drawing is months old, so I have to reacquaint myself both with the drawing and the ideas behind it. Apparently that worked down in the leg area, but up here around the head? And the head is part of the problem. I already cut off the bird that I originally drew because it was god-awful, but I’m not real happy with the face either. I’m seriously debating cutting her head off.

Seems appropriate for Halloween weekend. In fact, yes. I’m going to cut her head off.

So there we are.

I still need to trim this up a little for the opening next week. Not a big time consumer there, but I had this pair of pajama pants lying on it that needs fixing, and then I was thinking they needed to be part of the show too. Not sure.

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I guess this brings up a whole bunch of ideas about who sleeps naked (um. It’s hot here. I have hot flashes. Did I mention hot?). I don’t ever actually sleep in pajamas. I live in them in the mornings on weekends and after school if I know I’m not going anywhere, but I take them off to go to bed. Too hot (see hot above). So I don’t know. I’ll think about it.

This was last night, after music, when I was feeling spectacularly unmotivated to do shit.

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Apparently I am an animal magnet. Hi guys. You’re not helping.

OK. Cut off her head. Draw a new one. Draw a bunch of other related shit. Number it and start tracing it because Deadlines Abound! My SIL offered to fly me up to Seattle for Thanksgiving, but I really need to stay here and make art for 9 days straight. Tempting. But no. Work. Also. Grade a bunch of shit. Input it into the grade program. Try to make kids get a clue about how grades work (I can’t grade invisible things. I am not that special.).

Tonight? Apparently crash some Halloween party to support the band (that’s what I did last night, but it was probate lawyers. Yeah. I know.). Also go to one art show and drop some coloring books at a local gallery. I gots a plan.

*The Zombies, Time of the Season