How to Do Stuff…

The summer heat is here, although not as bad as it will be in September. It’s muggy and the air moves slowly, though, and I just sweat no matter what. My head is full of chaos…making decisions is difficult at the moment. My head is doing all the trip planning, making sure I have everything I need. The bathing suit top came in today and fits perfectly (thanks to the goddess of boobage), we ordered a new ice chest last night that will stay cold longer, and this morning, I started packing things up into stuff coming in the car vs stuff being shipped in a box. Weight is a lot of that or if it can spill or if I can live without it if it doesn’t show up. All stressful. I bought a new ironing pad that can survive the heat of the car…no matter what, our trip is going to be overly warm. Crater Lake looks like it will be in the high 90s (ugh). The wonder of traveling in the summer…this is why we like spring instead.

Quiltwise, I finished stitchdown yesterday afternoon…after doing some on Friday night, almost done.

We were gone for about 24 hours Saturday/Sunday, so here was Sunday afternoon…

Then I found a backing, washed the batting, cleaned the entryway floor and tried to clear it out enough to spread this thing out…

It’s not very wide, about 40″, but it’s 80″ tall, so not small. And complicated as hell, of course.

Last night, before I started quilting, I fixed two pairs of pants that had been waiting about a month. One pair is going with me, and the other is ready for the start of school. SCHOOL. Yeah, I know, but I’m coming back right into it. I’ll be quilting today. After I decide which dyes to take with me and whether to take anything else to color things with and whether to take another slow stitching project, because I don’t have enough? Crazy really, considering what I’ve packed up. I don’t think I need more stuff. Really. I do hate being bored or not inspired. But I don’t think that will be the case. So pick the dyes I’m taking (I’m not taking all of them), then figure out how to pack the dye stuff containers that are too tall for the boxes I have OR go through the garage for a bigger box OR ask the boychild if I can borrow one of his, because it’s not clear and will protect things from light? IDK. I’m in waffle mode. I can’t make decisions. I did well so far this morning; went through my dye info from last year’s self-directed residency and made some decisions about what materials I needed.

I finished the squirrel block, so I can leave it behind.

I’m bringing a few more for the first part of the trip, plus brainless sitting around, which does happen.

The Man and I went to Julian for his birthday…went to two cideries (England v Norway).

The second cidery…

We then checked in and headed to a winery for the end of the game (sound only) and to get some food elsewhere (beginning of Argentina v Switzerland)…

Crows were active. Back to the room where the Man took a well-deserved nap and I tried to finish a book that was returning to the library today (don’t worry; I finished it a few hours ago, which is why this is late).

Then onto the last place for the finish of the Argentina game.

We’ll be in Lassen National Park for the final. Not sure we’ll be able to watch it; might be hiking, and that’s OK.

Julian was pretty dead. It was hot and warm and cloudy and muggy, but it was a good break from being here, I think. We’ll be repeating the experience but a long way away starting Friday. The Man is going to help me drive up to Bend, with lots of nature on the way, and then he’ll fly home to work and deal with animals. I wish him luck. He’ll probably appreciate the peace and quiet and the bed to himself (plus four cats and a dog). He’ll live on hot dogs, burritos, and beer (nothing new there). All is good. I’m revising my food list based on the Cyclospora outbreaks…that’s the last thing I need. If I can find a farmers’ market for a few veggies, I will, but I’m shifting toward the stuff I can cook. My brain keeps a never ending cycle of how to do stuff going on inside, so I don’t forget silly stuff like tape or Saran wrap. I think I’d live without them, but it’s easier to have them. The notes I took at the last residency were useful–reminded me of things I would need for this one. Smart former self helping today’s self.

Meanwhile, one of my quilts finishes up in an exhibit at the New England Quilt Museum on July 20, and then ships to this exhibit…

That’s a detail of Dale Stuart’s quilt in the show. Amazing work. I’ll hopefully be starting drawings for the next Soul Stories piece for 2027, plus another piece hopefully for a show here in San Diego. If I get in. All I’m getting are rejections at the moment. I take a deep breath and power on. I go through phases where nothing gets and then it all gets in. It’s not a reflection on myself or my work…it just is what it is. So in response to that last rejection, I entered another show for a group I’m in that I’ve never shown with…so hopefully that will happen. If not, enter again. Make more work. Enter that. Repeat.

Ooooh…here’s another possible topic for the next Soul Stories quilt.

I’ve got some work to do in the yard to help with this. For when I get back.

From the book I just finished…

This might be a good summary of how I work. I do these painstaking drawings, number each piece, trace them, etc. And then pick all the colors out without a color master, just to drive all the perfectionists bonkers. Yup. That’s me. Hell, I drive part of my brain bonkers every time I do it. And yet, it works.

OK. It’s the middle of the day and I need to consider eating lunch. I have physical therapy today for my knee/heel today (she took on my heel, which I appreciate) plus book club. Don’t remember which book, but I know I read it. I need to pick a smaller number of dyes to take with me, decide if I’m shipping one box or two, decide what I will store things in during the trip, cut some paper for large-scale quilt drawings, start quilting, and breathe. I really should also sand the fascia and do a second round of Bondo in there. Go through my written supply lists and make sure I’m getting those things packed. That’s just today. Tomorrow is a whole ‘nother list of lists. And notice I didn’t even mention ceramics…yikes, I think I’ll stop by today after PT. And see how things are going. And I’ll try again the next three days, see if I can get the torso ready to bisque fire. If not, it can sit, and I’ll bring the neck home and put it in the damp box for the next month? I guess? Ugh. So many things to consider.

Not in the Car…

Well sleeping in is not a thing I’m doing this summer. I try. Sleep is just an absolute mess, honestly. I try. I put my pillow over my head, I deep breathe, I meditate. I’m taking a sleep tincture; just added some Chinese herbs that should calm my whole system down (ha! as if that’s a thing…OK, sure it is for some people, but I seem to roll in overdrive). I’d just like to make it to 8:30 AM without waking up 47 times…and that’s not happening. I was sure I’d sleep last night because I hadn’t the night before, and usually, exhaustion sets in, but no. No such luck. Ah well. When I am retired, I will sleep badly at night and take a nap in the afternoon, when I am lagging. Stay up late, like my brain prefers…make up for it later. For now? I will just be tired. I still get the things done; I just yawn a lot.

Some part of it is probably planning anxiety. I always get like this with a trip, and this one is complicated by the art stuff. The residency is so far away from everything that I have to be sure I have what I need with me, whether in the car or shipped. So that’s a lot. And my brain obsesses over the lists of stuff and making sure I’m getting stuff done every day. Because I don’t have much time before we leave and I go back to school right when I get back. It’ll be fine, honestly, once I get in the car.

I’m not in the car yet.

So I’m trying to get the current quilt to the pinbasted stage before I leave. I finished ironing it to the background on Wednesday night…

It’s kind of a crazy piece…I started with a drawing I did in a very long staff meeting last year of just the center head and the arm and the birds, and then I added to the top and the bottom. I was just going to do the head and shoulders, back in January, when I got another assignment that needed to be done quickly, so I put this aside, and by the time I was ready to make it, there were political issues pressing on my mind (again), and I had to add to it. Kind of a living in this world, but unable to ignore the crap thing. Which is real, of course. I’m lucky to not have all of it in my face every day (as long as I don’t interact with the world in any way). Especially in summer, when I often hermit through huge chunks of it. This year, I’m gonna hermit in (what did my daughter call it?) Buttfuck, Oregon. Don’t be offended, Oregon; she just means in the middle of nowhere. And it’s not nowhere to those who live there. It’s just isolated. I’m ready for isolated.

It took almost 18 hours to iron it together; I’m guessing at least 5 total to stitch it down. I’m 2 1/2 hours in…

I did some in the afternoon…and some at night.

I’m up in her upper torso. One arm is mostly done. So am I halfway? Not quite, but close. Like I said, another 2 1/2 hours ish. Hopefully done today? We’ll see. I had plans for clay, but I don’t think the timing is going to work, since I have to cook dinner and I have pilates at a weird time plus a breast MRI. And I need to ship some stuff.

I also put the binding on this dye painting from last year.

I quilted it the other day; it still needs the hand stitching, but I can do that later. What I really wanted was something I could slow stitch on and maybe finish in August for all the shows I need to have work for when I get back.

I did my back-to-school shopping yesterday. It had to get done before I left. It was simple, but let’s see if I remember where I put everything when I get back. I’m trying to be logical, but August brain may not agree with July’s logic. Hard to say.

I have two more art exhibits I need to enter before I leave. I still need to organize and pack; I organize a little every day. I think and worry about it way more than I do it. But I will get there. I want to finish this squirrel before I go…

These Spargo blocks are perfect for the car or for sitting around in the evening, but this one is almost done, so it’s silly not to just finish it before I go and start the next one on the way north. I need to finish the background stitching around that leaf and then add five ladybugs. That’s what will take the most time. I’m not sure I’ll finish painting the fascia before I go. I need to sand and put another layer of Bondo in the bad wood, then prime a couple of times, then paint three times, I think. So probably not done before I go. The yard will never be done, so there’s that.

I will get done what I can. That’s all I can ever do. I’ve never been gone this long before.

This little cockatiel was hanging out by the pool yesterday.

It talked to me. I talked to it. It had a friend flying around. It was warm? Maybe it needed a break? By the time I found it some water and food, it had left, but it was here for a long while. Not a native bird, for sure.

One thing I need to do before I leave is deliver my work for this exhibit. I’ll be at the opening.

That’s the plan anyway. It’s a big space; should be a good show. Speaking of making cool things…

Let’s hope…because this is the alternative.

Watching the government go after people with differing opinions…well, that’s not a democracy. That’s not patriotism. That’s another form of government that we fought against on multiple occasions.

Yeah. That isn’t going to improve in the next month. OK. Today. Shower, then boob thing. It’ll be a week or more (last year it was 10 days) until I know it’s all clear. I still haven’t heard back on the brain; same deal. It’s summer and info trickles. Not really worried about either of them; low level health anxiety always rides in the back. But I’ll have a new brain picture to use in a quilt, right? Then pilates at a weird time. Plus stitchdown. And shipping. And crossing things off the to-do list. Love that part. It’s the best.

Readjusting…

Officially panicking about getting everything done that needs to get done. Pretend you’re a teacher and you have 8 weeks to catch up on life and relax and reset…but then you don’t have all those weeks to do the stuff that needs to be done at home. I don’t usually go on vacations during the summer, so I’m not used to this. I go during Spring Break and accept that nothing will get done during that time. So I’m readjusting. Trying anyway. I’d really like some things to be done for sure, but I keep adding more things. Like this wonderful kid…

There’s the girlchild, backpacking in the wilderness (beautiful place), and I just realized today that her birthday happens while I’m in the middle of nowhere and I need to deal with that before I leave. Next week. Hmmm. OK. Add that to the list. I tried to deal with cat litter yesterday but there was a lack of information. OK. Well. I guess I won’t be dealing with that. There is someone else who can. This is where you realize how much you normally manage. And it’s OK to leave and let others do it (or not, and then it’s late), but the list is there, living in my head.

So I ironed a lot this weekend. By choice. I should have done some other things, but this is fairly normal behavior for me during the summer. This is Friday night…

Made it into the main central figure…then Saturday night, after all afternoon down at the bay (more about that later) and then fireworks…

Got the torso and arms done…then last night and afternoon…

The head is done. I’m in the 1000s at this point. I’d like to just sit home and iron, but a friend is in town, so I’m racing around a bit, trying to get some of the to-do list done (and mostly failing, honestly) so I can hang out with her for a while. I’m hoping none of the doctor’s visits/tests require followups at this point, because I don’t know when I will do them. Last night was the brain MRI for the ocular migraine; not expecting any changes with that. I’ve had two of them already. They are fascinating to look at. Then dermatology and breast MRI later this week. Plus another acupuncture appointment. Dammit; I think I need to book another one of those before I go next week. Crap. OK. See? It’s crazy. The stuff that’s supposed to be helping me is stressing me out.

The fourth at the Bay…with the Man’s band, Radio Thieves.

I danced for a little while, but then was tired and hot. I read a lot too, which was fine. I had to kamikaze down early because the Man freaked out about parking…it was crazy down there.

Those overalls. Yikes. Anyway, we booked out after the second band, around 6:30 PM, got home, I ate (he ate there), then we went over to the street above my parents’ house (no we didn’t tell them…we were out of it) and watched the fireworks with the dog in the car so he wouldn’t freak out. He’s good, but whines and barks with all the noise. He got a big treat afterwards for being a good boy.

I saw this…is that a badger? Really? They have badgers?

I’m excited about that. Weird, I know. I am.

Last night, I packed a few beads and sequins for the two quilted, dye-painted quilts I’m taking with me for brainless slow stitching. I quilted this at some point over the last three days.

Ideally it will get a binding sewn on before we go. I painted this last year on my self-directed residency while waiting for the post-biopsy notification (it took 10 days, but it was fine). I also have to pack the box to ship…I have piles on the girlchild’s bed and I keep culling. Don’t take too much! But also, I’ll need bandaids because I’m like that. I got a serious scrape at the grocery store yesterday. Took forever to stop bleeding and it’s not small. Not stitchable though. I’ve been cleaning it and putting antibiotic cream on it and plastering it with a huge bandaid, but the timing sucks for an open wound. Hoping it starts to scab up before we leave. Added to today’s shopping list? Giant bandaids. Of course.

In case you think I stop thinking about science over the summer.

Those hands though.

This is for the political idiots.

A lot of sci fi focuses on the ideas of communism…but I don’t think most Americans do. But someone is obsessed with it. Ignorant, but obsessed.

Here’s the second sculpture; I went in on Friday and finished glazing it.

I still need to finish my other piece…I wanted to be able to bisque fire it before I left. Not sure I’ll be able to do that honestly. Running out of time.

I’d love to be able to do this…

Working on it.

OK. Today. Is a clusterfuck. If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to get some of the shopping done that I need to do while dragging my friend along with me (sorry, not sorry…she just wants to see me and talk to me and get fed…those things will happen). I need to do one more thing before I leave for that. Hopefully I’ll be ironing tonight though…I need to get this thing at least pinbasted before I leave (ha! ha ha ha! Did I tell you I’m gone this weekend too? Yeah, I know). It’s hot here today; hoping it’s less hot at the beach; that’s where we’re going first. Not sure about the rest. All the museums I planned are closed today and most are closed tomorrow…which sucks, because it’s shows I wanted to see and they’ll be gone before I get back. Sigh. WTF world. Not doing a good job of relaxing y’all. Nope. Not. I’ll get there, but not yet.

It’s a Lot…

I’m totally off on writing. Also on days. I have a vague sense of the week, but that’s what we aim for during summer…not knowing the day and the date because teachers have to know those things. That said, am I recovered yet from the school year? Hell no. I’m still short on sleep. I’m still not convinced school won’t start again next week. I’m not relaxed yet. I have a hard time at night not grabbing the computer to grade something (there’s nothing to grade, brain…you can stop now.). It’s only a week since school got out though, and it usually takes at least two for me to relax. Today, I am stuck at home without a car…it’s getting a tuneup for the trip to Oregon…and honestly, it feels good. I CAN’T go run errands. I’ve got no way to leave. Tomorrow might be an issue; I’m supposed to go to a pool party thing and I don’t have a car for that. I’ll figure it out. Or Lyft. Whichever seems easier. But no car is somehow freeing? Weirdly so.

Artwise, I’m almost done with ironing. So close. Could have stayed up late last night to finish, but had to be up early to take the car in. Need to make sure I get enough sleep. This was Tuesday night…

The piles look the same, really. Last night, I had about 100 pieces left, for real this time…

It’s felt like I’ve only had 100 pieces left many times. I did want to be done by last night…just didn’t happen. As soon as I finish writing this, I’ll finish ironing. It’s another hour or so. Three pink hands and the things they’re holding. That’s it.

I did start trimming yesterday during a Zoom meeting. No photo of that. Hoping to be done with the trimming early to mid next week, then iron it together, stitch it down…I don’t think I can finish this before I go and there’s limited time when I get back. I’m going for the deadline but don’t think I’ll make it. I have other stuff I need to do. I’ve been painting deck railings. I had to redo one of the ones from Winter Break…it bubbled. It rained when I originally painted it. The others are fine, but this one was cranky. The back railing also needs painting. It’s been washed, sanded, and has one coat of primer on it. I can only paint when it’s cool, so late evening, and the sun isn’t on the railings, still late evening. And then I need to let it dry. I also need to do the fascia on the back of the house, which is complicated by a thin deck back there…up and down the ladder. Then the rest of the deck wall, again, only when the sun is not shining on it. Complicated. Lots of yard work, lots of housework, plus trying to figure out all I need for this trip and getting it done. The car is one part of that.

I made it to ceramics yesterday finally. I was going Tuesday, but I had my first acupuncture appointment for my foot and it ran long. And there was traffic. And I was running up against the Tuesday night ceramics classes, so I went yesterday instead. Finished the sgraffito underglazing and can now go on to the rest of the piece.

I have more of that brown color for the body.

I was trying to keep it simple.

I don’t actually do simple well. I was going to go in tomorrow morning, but with no car, that’s not happening, so it will have to be next week. Multiple days in a row, I think. This thing needs to go in the kiln before I leave. I hope.

I’ve been doing some Spargo stuff. There are 16 flowers in the border of Homegrown, and they’ve been appliqued for a while. I did start stitching on them, but I’m going to be doing this for at least a year, I think.

This one is close to done. It’s the first one. Like I said, gonna be here for a while. It’s relaxing though. Better than grading. Much better.

One of the barn owls is still around. I hear her in the tree outside my office at night. I talk to her.

She leaves me feathers and pellets. I’ve collected quite a few skulls and bones at this point.

This is what cats do all day.

The fourth one is in the cat bed on the dresser. So hard to be a cat. Honestly, the dog is asleep somewhere too.

So many stories coming out about people not being able to have life- or uterus-saving procedures because of this stupidity.

People without medical degrees need to stay out of these decisions.

This is where I’m at right now.

I have the man for the moon stuff. He’ll be out on the deck at night, banging on the window so I’ll come out and look at yet another moon. Yup. That’s a moon. That said, I’m staring at the ground and picking up owl vomitous. So we do well together. Most of the time. I am definitely a different person when school is fully out of session, when I don’t even have to worry about what I’m teaching when I come back. My co-teacher claims she’s changing shit. I can’t deal with that right now. Neither can she, at the moment, but on August 1, when she starts thinking about it, I’ll be in the middle of my residency, fully out of school mode. Good times.

OK. Today. Trapped in the house. Where there are books and food and fabric and QUIET (it’s quiet here, so weirdly satisfying), no kids yelling, no construction hammers or mowers or blowers going. Just birds. And the dog occasionally barking (it is trash day). Even the squirrels are napping right now. Time to make some art. Whatever that looks like. Sure I’ll also be painting house things later and probably mopping floors and maybe washing bedding. Washing rugs definitely. And I have a book due in 5 days and another book I need to finish for Monday’s book club. And my weekend is FULL, so I’ll need to manage that today and tomorrow. It’s all good. I’m getting there, towards recovery. Really what teachers need in the summer…time to eat and pee when we need/want to, time that’s our own, a weekend without stress, no planning, no copying, no grading, just time to zone out. Because we spend 10 months a year on overwhelming time. And it’s a lot.

Decompress?

Note: I did NOT finish this yesterday in the airport, as may be obvious. I didn’t even finish it when I got home. It’s now Tuesday morning. It also did not process any of the photos, so I’m doing that now too.

Straight up, not sure I will finish this before I leave San Francisco. My flight was rerouted from SF down to San Jose, and it took some effort (and time) to get down here. More stress than I really need, but I got here in time, so all good. (The flight was almost empty, but this screaming 2-year-old girl with inept parents made up for that. That said, we got in mostly on time.)

I had a pretty quiet weekend with the girlchild (lots of World Cup games watched). I got to meet Margaret Fabrizio again (it’s been a while) and see her gallery space.

I might have to wait until I get home to load pictures; airport internet is too busy helping kids watch annoying videos without headphones 😂.

That is my piece above the fireplace; we traded a few years back.

I love that I see the negative space in these and not the clothing parts that make them. This is one of my favorites (I also totally see boobs and a weird stick figure).

I also really like this one.

After that, the girlchild and I went to Oakland/Berkeley. We watched one World Cup game, then shopped for thread for the girlchild’s new embroidery obsession…and fabric for me to make crazy pants. Then another game.

I embroidered through all the games.

Wait, here’s the night before after a drawing on the plane and a little embroidery in my room.

So you can compare.

Lots of bridges…

Actually maybe only one but in two versions.

Sunday was embroidery lessons and more soccer.

We practiced on a tea towel and then she went right into stitching her shirt.

Wait, this was after making a delightful breakfast from leftovers.

Both kids cook better than I do. She finished the shirt and wore it to dinner.

She actually was very fast and a very even stitcher. Good genetics.

I’m sitting her watching and listening to a woodpecker on the tree outside my office. I’ve been watching the birds and squirrels all morning. Very peaceful. I really need some major recovery from the school year. Trying to get there.

I didn’t go to dinner with her the last night (long story), but had a delightful meal in a fun little restaurant where I drew and read my book.

Good music. All the words were from the conversation next to me, which was a bit obnoxious.

This was the view out my AirBnb window.

I found this heart at the grocery store before I left…it said something about finding the heart and keeping it, so I took it to the airport and left it in the banana basket at the Pannikin. Hopefully some kid found it.

Here’s the insanely expensive fabrics I bought to make pants out of.

There’s an owl and a jaguar as well. The one on the right is delightfully chill. One crazy, one chill.

From the book I was reading…

Ideas for quilts.

Not as much art exposure on this trip…definitely more soccer in bars and at the girlchild’s place. But here was one mural on the walk home from dinner.

And a tableau the likes of which are only seen in a big city…

And more quilty ideas…

Plus these yarn paintings in the San Diego Airport, but so hard to photograph due to the lights.

I ran around doing errands yesterday, made it to pilates, then into the studio (sigh, relief).

I almost finished the 1000s. I was trying to remember if this had 1650 pieces or 1450. It’s the latter. If I had time today, I could finish, but I don’t. Haircut and meeting an acupuncturist…trying all the things to solve this foot problem without it taking another 3 years like last time. Not a fan.

This is so true. Watching them sing is a balm to the soul.

But humans are not always the best, are they.

Also, I did not know this…that people didn’t all have this.

Is it just silent in there? Weird.

OK. So I’m busy today. Hoping to get to ceramics in the afternoon; we’ll see how that works. Just added four more things to the to-do list this morning. Could do without that. Trying to explain to non-teachers how we play this game of catchup when we get to breaks, and that it’s INSANE how much stuff we put off because there just isn’t time. And they pile up, and this first week, I really just need to decompress, but I do it while running from one errand/appointment to another, like a crazy person. I need to leave soon because I don’t even know if I’m supposed to pay cash (new hair person) and I have like 7 dollars. Fun times. And it’s Tuesday and I normally post on Monday. Ah well. Welcome to summer.

Nap of the Dead…

Y’all, it’s the last Friday of this school year. I’m stumbling into it like a bull in a china shop, but I’m there. I finished grades last night and promptly fell over on the couch for a 20-minute nap of the dead. Drool and everything. Then I got up, ate dinner, and posted 38 egg drop videos (that’s what we did yesterday). UGH. I also took down 60+ posters (with help on that one), up and down the ladder. Additionally, after waking up from the short nap of the dead, I finally pulled everything out of this one pot where asparagus fern had taken over (I hate that stuff) and trimmed all the succulents back and tossed all the detritus off the side of the deck into the greenery bin, plus watered some. AND ironed. Like a boss. But I’m still dead tired this morning. And today? We go to the local amusement park (which is tiny, thank goodness) with like 300 kids or something. Not sure how many. A lot. On buses. Yeah. Fun times. I will ride a roller coaster though.

Ironed these Wednesday night…

It’s not going fast. It’s OK. I get on a roll eventually. I kind of got on one last night…

I got the suit on the fat white guy done, but not the rest of him. He’ll be pink. Very pink. Hopefully tonight.

I never posted my finished dye paintings. I had entered them in a show and all of them got rejected. I made them specifically for that show, for that group, because I’d been asked to stay away from nudity and profanity, so I did. One of them isn’t even political. It’s fine. I mean, you don’t get into all the shows…I totally get that, but I haven’t not been in one of this group’s shows since I joined it. Sigh. So they’re available for another show. Because they’re different than my usual work, though, I start to question if they’re any good, and it’s OK; I got over it. They are good. They just didn’t get into this show. It’s an abstract group and I’m not very abstract. But also, the venue curator originally said the show was going to be about Freedom and then there were all these things I wasn’t allowed to put in the show, so fuck that too.

Here’s Immediate Action Required…

And Thought Bomb…

And my favorite, A Mouthful…

(And that juror can go off into the sunset away from me).

Yeah this is totally where I am these days.

Seriously with that. All these stupid people in charge with their chests all puffed out…they remind me of dictatorships and their stupid rules, just so they can seem more important and in control. That’s not supposed to be US. It is us. Not by my choice.

OK. School. Cleaning up after egg drops. Maybe I’ll get help on that. Then 3+ hours at Belmont Park. Usually pretty chill. Need to remember to eat. Then back for two periods (I hate that part) where I put a movie on and clean my room while kids hopefully chill out. Then duty after school and hopefully the energy/brainpower for ceramics. THEN HOME TO NO SCHOOLWORK. That’s fucking nuts…although I’ve been trying to get a start on the copying/setup for next school year in August. I watched a video of a performance at the location of my artist residency and watched it over and over again (the landscape is amazing)…just want to BE there. I have a lot of shit to get through before I GET there. But it’s close. Four more days of school.

Making All the Things…

Friday. FINALLY. Seriously how does a normal 5-day week get so LONG?! So much stress at the end of the year over grades…this kid’s grades, that kid’s grades, FINISHING grades (I have one week). Parent emails after midnight (I didn’t see it until today). I’m so ready for this school year to be done (I say this every year). We have 9 more days. NINE. I wrote to two parents last night with that number: can you please persuade your child to behave for NINE days and then they can whatever with YOU. Sigh. And the Man asked me again today, so are you out NEXT week? FUCK NO. Sigh.

It’s fine. I’m getting there. I spent over 3 hours making art last night and I don’t feel bad about it. Friday morning self wishes I had graded more (I did grade some!), but that’s OK. So I went to ceramics, because I won’t make it there today…

I carved the arm…

I don’t think you know how hard it is to carve lines around a 3D shape. I’m laughing. It’s hard.

Then I came home and did my monthly stitching Zoom and put borders on two dye paintings from last summer.

I have two more to border and then I’ll make quilt sandwiches and quilt then and decide what else they need. Actually, I like the idea of 3D loose leaves on this one.

I still have one other quilted dye painting that needs embroidery. Piling them up.

Then I cut stuff out until way too late…in the way of my people (art folk). Wednesday night…

And last night…

It’s taking longer than I thought it would. I have one yard left…for tonight. Sort tomorrow, clean up studio (finish grades), then start ironing to fabric. Although I’m not sure I have a background. Hmmm. So a trip to the fabric store if my stash doesn’t have a piece big enough that’s the right color.

Otherwise, the last test in science is today (which means grading it in class, which is my goal, and this weekend). So they should be quiet (ha!). And I should be able to get shit done in there (ha ha!). Then duty after school, plus a meeting about the new science teacher decision, then pick up the dog from his teeth cleaning, then finish my book (I’m so close) and grade and make more art. Figure out how to exercise without exacerbating the foot. I went to the podiatrist yesterday and it was positive and vague, as always. Don’t know why it happened. Don’t know if it will happen again. Here’s all the things you can do, which you remember from 17 years ago. GO! Yeah. Well. Bodies age and it’s annoying. At least my brain is still making all the things.

Short Week…

Woo Wee what a week. Short week. Kicking my butt. I’m currently on crutches, just scheduled another brain MRI, waiting on podiatry, and dammit, I need to go take my antibiotics…hold on…be right back. Luckily, it’s Eid, so half the school has been gone…a few more came back yesterday, and we’ll get a few more back today (and lose a few more because it’s Friday…certainly some kids are NOT gone for Eid, just based on their last names). A couple of kids I think believe school is already done, because I haven’t seen them in two weeks. Fun times. I wonder how they function as adults sometimes. I hope they figure it out…and I know sometimes it’s parents making those lovely decisions. Sigh.

Anyway, to summarize, on antibiotics for a UTI (haven’t had one of those since I was pregnant with one of the kids who are now late 20s, early 30s), then woke up in the middle of the night unable to put weight on my left foot (probably a really bad flareup of plantar fasciitis; haven’t had that for 20+ years)…here’s my cankle at urgent care Wednesday evening…

I don’t think it ever got swollen when I had it before. Not like that. That warranted crutches. Probably need a boot…found my old one and it’s definitely very worn and has way too much velcro and padding. Sigh. Acupuncture? Frozen bottle of water? Tennis ball? IYKYK.

Also, Wednesday morning, I had this weird visual disturbance (weirder than the one I’ve had for two years now) and ended up on the line with the nurse triage, who originally said go to the ER, but then the symptoms stopped, so she said, uh, contact the neuro-opthalmologist you saw before, so I emailed. Got to work, got a call from my primary doc telling me to go to the ER until I told her symptoms were gone and I’d contacted the eye doc. Eye doc called during Period 1 and scheduled me for the end of the day, so I went for 90 minutes of testing to find out I had a typical migraine aura without the headache (damn lucky there) and the retinas were still fine and there were no weird things that weren’t already weird in there. Then down to urgent care for the crutches (x-rays show bone spurs…woo! I think it’s the other foot though, different from 20+ years ago). MY GODDESS. CAN WE JUST NOT. Apparently my body is ready for summer break; it’s gonna take me out for the last few weeks. Dudes, we have 2 1/2 more weeks…14 days of actual school, 4 of those are not teaching days. I just need to be able to walk and make art and see. And pee when I need to. (UTIs are common for teachers…I’ve been lucky).

The foot was better yesterday. This morning was a little hinky, but I’m sure being on crutches to get to the bathroom is OK (really rather not, y’all. Really rather not.).

Tuesday night, I traced. The foot wasn’t as bad Tuesday night and I have a pad I stand on and I really lean on the light table when I’m tracing anyway, so very little weight on the foot.

I iced and elevated for 2 hours before that. I wanted to go to ceramics but there was no way I was getting my 25-pound sculpture off the shelf and limping over to the table with it. The Man just wants me to rest nonstop and I can’t deal with that.

Wednesday, I spent 3.5 hours at the doc, between urgent care and eye doc, so I was in a lot of pain and exhausted. Iced, elevated, honestly cried a little, very frustrated. Eventually cut these out because standing? Not so much.

Scribble was so helpful.

Honestly, I moped for about 2 hours and then I’m like, what CAN I do? I can cut out all the stuff I’ve already traced and get a head start on that, tried to have a good attitude, took pain meds, went to bed, and it was better the next day. Took pain meds all day…stayed off my feet (watching student presentations)…and I was able to trace last night.

I’ve made it halfway through the 1100s. Yes, there are over 1400. But hoping to be done this weekend. Slight slowdown due to stupid body making demands.

I also worked on this, the first flower of 16 in the border of Homegrown (Sue Spargo).

I’ll be done in 2035. Maybe.

I got this from the doc’s office (on top of all the other stuff).

That’s mostly because of my mom’s breast cancer (which is fully in remission). But you know, I breastfed my two kids for a total of about 3.5 years, and I want to know what my discount is for that…because they always said it would reduce your chances of breast cancer. But this damn risk assessment model doesn’t give a shit about that. Annoying. I want my credits.

And guys, here’s my residency location from another view.

Oh man, can’t wait. I’m in the smaller cabin on the left in the middle. That’s a dock on the left by that tree. There’s a person sitting on it. Can you see me sitting there? I fucking can.

Also, I’d be there, but the crutches are slowing me down. It’s fine. I can handle it. Today, we are hopefully getting most of the presentations done (in my rolling chair)…solar system, planets, gravity, mass. Then home to ice and elevate and then trace some more. All day tomorrow hopefully…canceling pilates again (sigh). Maybe. Grading stuff. That will go away soon too. Never too soon. And it’s Friday, so that’s a relief. Short weeks aren’t necessarily easier.

Tracing Things…

I’m supposed to be dressing like the 80s today…you know, neon, leg warmers, big hair…but I didn’t dress like that in the 80s. I was thrift shop, sewed it myself, leaning toward suburban punk. I don’t own 80s wear. So I’m wearing a Keith Haring shirt to commemorate all those who died of AIDS in the 80s…also wearing red, to protest my school district’s refusal to bargain. Fun day. They’re doing a Field Day instead of a staff meeting, because apparently we’re stressed and very busy and competition helps with that. The end of school is always such a crazy mess…this isn’t helping.

I dropped three quilts off for photography yesterday. I’m entering a show with them; we’ll see if they get in. I started tracing the next big one onto Wonder Under, but before I did that, I traced this little one that needs to go in a ceramic piece.

It won’t take long to make this little one.

I finished drawing the new big one Friday night…

I think I actually added stuff after this…

Oh yeah, a crow or two and some body bags.

I numbered it Saturday night…I thought it was around 1300 pieces, but no.

1454 pieces, assuming I didn’t miss any or double number things. I’ve done both.

Last night, I started tracing…

Exciting for Scribble apparently. I had to move her off the Wonder Under a few thousand times.

Barely started. A million pieces to go.

My piece for Soul Stories: Threads of Existence is at the New England Quilt Museum in Lowell, MA. It’s been there since mid-April, but they had the ‘opening’ this last weekend.

Mine is the blue one on the left. There’s some amazing work in this show. It will travel to Birmingham, England, in August.

Besides art, I ran a lot of errands this weekend. Fun times. Shit that needs to happen. Some of it was fabric-related. I did finally start stitching the border flowers on Sue Spargo’s Homegrown. It’s all sewn together, so it’s big and not great for taking to meetings.

It’ll take me a while to finish this.

The little dog and I hiked on Saturday. The weather was lovely.

The rattlesnake was not. It didn’t even warn us until after it had moved back into the brush.

I did pick up the dog. His eyesight isn’t great and I didn’t want him lunging after the snake anyway.

The baby owls are out and flying around the neighborhood (sorry for the noise, y’all).

Much faster getting out and about than last year’s only, who hung around for weeks. I think this is still their homebase though.

I obsessively check the weather where my residency will be. Not sure why. Planning anxiety. I did order a bunch of stuff for the trip over the weekend. But look at the 15th.

Somewhat disturbing. Otherwise, the weather is not a lot different than here a lot of the time. A little colder, but it’s over 4000 feet in elevation. So that’s why. Summer will be warm.

Simba is irritable that Bowie is in his spot. Bowie is actually in MY spot and I am in Simba’s spot.

Whatever works.

Here’s a plan for the day…and the world apparently.

And here’s another way-too-real message…

Followed by this one, for San Diego and the rest of the world.

Way too real.

OK. Today. Teaching the last of evolution before the state science test on Wednesday (math is tomorrow). Then I’m probably missing the field day for an eye checkup. Still getting flashing lights in the right eye, over a year after vitreous humor detached. Then hopefully ceramics? And some stitching and grading (not in that order) and tracing. Getting close to the end of this year…that’s a good thing. They don’t seem to be getting easier. The adult part…the kids are fine (well, as fine as they’ve ever been…they should put their phones down more often). Gonna need more caffeine to get through it all.

Depending on How You Look at It

Hey. It’s Friday again. It is a taco cart day (teacher appreciation is all about food…although I think we also get a sweatshirt…woo). It’s also an assembly day, which means we end with an hour of noise and nowhere to sit and did I say noise? Short classes all day; pros and cons to that. State science testing is next week, so I have two days left to impart all the knowledge. It won’t all happen, thanks to my school board getting us sued. Fun stuff. I’ll be handing out flyers to elect new school board members…these two are useless. So I can’t say I’m looking forward to the crazy that is today, but it could be worse. This unit is almost done. I’m not sure how much they got out of it…I wish I’d had another two weeks (oh wait, that’s how long the sex ed unit I had to move to before testing was). But oh well. Is it the end of the world? No. Do I want kids to look at the test and think, ‘no one ever taught me this’? No, but they will think that anyway, even if we DID teach it to them. So there’s only so much I can do.

Artwise, I’ve been drawing every night…

I did more on the top; it might be done? I’m not thrilled with the empty space above her head, but I’ll think about it, let it percolate. This ended with this happening…

Bowie tries to bully the girl cats, but Scribble turned around, bopped him, and chased him away. Just makes it hard to draw.

Last night was more chill…

I started working on the bottom, about redistricting and voting. I’m incredibly disheartened by the redistricting stuff in the South. This country, all those stupid white people, I’m just boggled. Rich white people. Throwing a maternal health conference and ignoring the maternal health of black women. FFS people. And losing even more representation in government…we haven’t taken a step back…we’ve fallen into a racist misogynist pit of the past. The vaccine stuff too, and the Vitamin K shots. WTF is wrong with people? So I’m not sure I can coherently get all my feelings about that into one quilt, but apparently I’m trying. It’s funny, though…I was really trying in the original drawing to find peace before school started last year, to draw something that wasn’t all politics and government (well, except for her head being on fire), and I’m not making that quilt any more.

I’m also thinking about 2027 residencies. I had heard about one that a fellow artist was going on and just got the prospectus…$9K??? Are you fucking kidding me? For two weeks. Yes, it’s cool and all, but I guess you have to be a rich artist to go. Not doing that one. Mine this year is free, except I have to pay for food and getting there. Not bad. It would be nice to have a stipend too to cover those extra costs, but we always go on some vacation each year and we’re doing that on the way up, and I would have to pay for food anyway. So it works out. Sort of. Mostly. Having to come up with extra money in the summer is always difficult (no, I don’t get paid in the summer), but I think I might be OK this year. We’ll see.

I did a little squirrel work last night.

We were supposed to have a stitching meeting, but we’re down to three of us and one is in Sicily or Italy or both and I’m tired and the other doesn’t like the drive, so we skipped. It’s hard meeting at night sometimes. We should work on some alternate times/spaces. In my spare time.

Ah yes, those damn files. They’re probably gonna be in the quilt too. Forcing women to have babies they don’t want…seems idiotic. Oh, also not helping them financially with said babies. Also stupid. I love returning back to the Dark Ages of women’s rights. And voting rights.

The baby owls are out of the box…there’s definitely two, maybe three (one keeps squawking from further away).

The lighter one is at 5:30 AM, which might be why I feel like I’m not sleeping. They are not quiet.

OK. Teaching something today…the end of the evolution unit. DNA? More rock layer stuff? Then an assembly. Then duty after school. Then ceramics! Yay! I got someone to take the afterschool meeting besides ME. Then unfortunately I have to cook dinner. I’m hoping to get my quilts photographed this weekend, but my photographer hasn’t answered. Also we’re going mattress shopping. Not sure how that’s gonna go. I will probably finish the drawing this weekend though and maybe start numbering it. That’s cool. Or crazy. Depending on how you look at it.