All Stuff

I’m sorry my country (and the world) has not eradicated racism. I’m sorry my country can’t put the health of the many over the freedoms of the few. I’m sorry my government can’t make the best decisions for all the people, to take care of all the people. I’m sorry my students feel like they’re losing out on something by not being able to come to school in person. I’m sorry first responders are having to put their lives on the line and risk their families’ health in the process. I’m sorry we aren’t all better educated in science and humanity and kindness and equality and equity and and and. I don’t want to write about my personal struggle with fabric and school without acknowledging that there are things going on that are wrong and stupid and need fixing.

I do have personal struggles with fabric and school though. And they’re minor and first-world struggles, an artist brain thing…when the art brain thinks about racism and what to do about it, she doesn’t know where to start. So I am engrossed in the process on a COVID quilt and thinking about everything else that’s happened since I drew this. And yet, this quilt needs to be finished, so I will keep working on it. While other issues roll around in my head, waiting for processing.

I stayed up late two nights running, Tuesday night, because I just wanted to finish the ironing, to be done with it. I used 173 different fabrics in this quilt. Here they are.

It’s not super colorful, honestly…lots of browns and greens in the background. We’ll see what it looks like when it’s ironed.

The box of stuff to be cut out is chock full. It’s seemed full for a week, but more stuff kept fitting into it.

The angels were last…so now they are first.

Interesting color/fabric choices for the angels.

It’s a big pile there…I do keep the fabrics I used in the quilt out until I finish ironing the quilt together…

Actually, until I finish the quilt completely and start the next one…in case I lose a piece or need to change something…it’s easier than going through the stash again and trying to find that one piece of fabric. It took 27 hours and 52 minutes to iron all 1541 pieces down…longer than usual. I blame the pandemic fog my brain has existed in for the last two-plus months.

I had already started cutting pieces out at a meeting last week…and last night, with my brain racing, I stayed up too late to cut some more. This is about 3 1/2 hours of cutting…cut pieces on the top right, trash on the top left, what’s left in the bottom box.

It’s gonna be a while. I’m estimating 20 hours…that might be a little high, but we’ll see. But it’s easier for me to make time for the cutting…I can do it during Zoom meetings if I need/want to. I’ve been averaging about 8-12 hours of artmaking a week since school went back in session…that’s pretty normal for this time of year.

I only have three weeks of school left. Although a copyediting job will be showing up in June, so that’s more computer time. Ugh. Computers. School. Such a stressful thing. I’m extremely anxious about going back, about getting sick. I can’t afford not to go back, so there’s that. I don’t really want to be an online teacher full time, which might be another option. I’m on these Facebook teacher groups, and so many respond to people who say what I say with “so go somewhere else, teach at a charter school.” Well, thanks. I can’t afford to leave my district…I have too many years in. And the point is that we want ALL teachers and students and school staff to be safe. ALL OF US. Which is going to mean we need districts and boards of education and our god-damned government to support a safe way to do that. I’m still wading through the 50-page document my County Health Department put out with suggestions for schools. Braindead. Principal says we won’t know anything until the end of July or early August. Good to know. We go back August 19. Whatever ‘go back’ means.

So that. I walked Tuesday. No new flowers, but this is another neighbor putting succulents out for propagation. I took one of the blackish ones and strapped it to my pack…then planted it out yesterday.

Someone else put more of the agave out, so I took another baby. I know where they’ll go. But first, I need to see some new growth on them. Maybe plant them out in the fall. Yesterday I did pilates…I’m so stiff and sore. Need to do more of that. Need more time. Nothing new.

Dots! It’s the blue flowers above the magenta spool.

This was easy and cute.

An even better closeup.

And then last night, a sheep…just under the black/brown ball.

I didn’t have a sheep-colored dot, so she’s blue.

I think today we are officially at 2/3s done. It’s been interesting. Almost as interesting as Luna.

I want pets. Can you give me pets? Plus it’s hot. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I have one, sometimes two, sometimes three. It’s nice.

OK. Today is half over. Sort of. I mean, it’s noon, but you know I’ll be up until midnight so that’s 12 more hours, and I’ve only been up for 4 hours. I have progress reports to get done, more Office Hours, a quilt meeting, and who knows what else. I’m tired. I’m smelling donut-making (that’s exciting). I have a lot of stuff to cross off the list today, art group stuff, making stuff, work stuff, watering stuff, house stuff. All stuff. I am alive, though, and well, and so are those I love, and one of my favorite students finally showed up back to class today, and I’m so glad. So there’s that.

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