I Should Draw That…

It’s been a frustrating day so far. It’s a holiday too…I should be jumping with Teacher Joy, a day off to catch up on my grading. Woo hoo. Yeah, it’s a day off. I appreciate that. I appreciate all of them. Things I need right now though: a massage person who can fix my neck and upper back. I have a name, but I just haven’t followed through. A diabetes nurse who will actually call me when I’m available to talk and will answer my questions. For instance, if my diabetes was out of control last week, why is it suddenly under control this week? Because they ran blood tests and realized it was in control last week, except when it was super low that one night, which they think is something I did, but I went through their list, and I didn’t. My fault? Well, my body’s fault. Sigh. I had an appointment (I thought) this morning, but I got there and they’re like, “Nah, it’s tomorrow.” I’m like “Nah, I wouldn’t have scheduled it for a work day.” So I know the nurse screwed up and she came in and talked to me and tried to reschedule, and I said, it’s cool, that’s a physical, it can wait, I’ll schedule for whenever, but someone needs to answer the diabetes questions like NOW. Of course, the diabetes nurse had disappeared from the office and hasn’t called me yet, so hopefully she will later today or tomorrow…when I’m teaching and can’t answer the phone. I’m not impressed by how Sharp manages its diabetics. There’s no information, no guidelines, no support, or if there is, it’s not on my schedule. I am OK with email or phone calls…I don’t need to be in your office for you to explain how to manage all this…I just want some answers and some guidance. Anyway, the diabetes is FINE (explains last week’s crash, eh?) and I’m to reduce insulin (good news). So I’ll do that.

Oh yeah, and here’s info that I could have diagnosed myself…I’m officially in menopause (really? the lack of periods wasn’t a clue?). The doctor asked last week when the last period was…

Well. So Satan is in charge of my periods. I guess I can delete that app now (I thought I had). It’s nice to be official though. I guess. I mean, I already knew that. I am a crone! Woo hoo! OK, lots of people already thought that but whatever.

Anyway, so I wanted to hike on Saturday, but the man had a different plan in mind. It’s his day off too, so I let him direct the day to here…

That’s different flavors of olive oil and balsamic vinegar in the background…all the local wineries have some gimmick besides the wine for some reason. I really liked their current Chardonnay, picked after the Fallbrook fire last year (?), so a smoky taste.

And then here…

Their shtick was chocolate, not my thing, but beautiful country out there. A nice drive…

Not quite a hike, but time together anyway. After all that and some food, we headed out to Visions Art Museum for their current opening…Ruth McDowell’s use of fabrics, especially big, bright, and crazy prints, has always fascinated me…

That piece is huge, as is this one…

Unfortunately, I didn’t take photos of the labels. Well, I did, but they’re far away and pixelated. So there’s that. I did really appreciate this one for its simplicity…

It’s like an anti-McDowell quilt…except not. It’s smaller and way less busy…and more importantly (?), I can read the label. This is Goldfinches. I really enjoyed her work. I also enjoy that they relaxed the no-photo rule in there, because lots of you can’t go see this show, or maybe now that you know it’s there, you’ll make an effort to go see it? I don’t know. It’s nice. I liked it.

I did some drawing…I really wanted to just sit and stare at the landscape on Saturday afternoon (and maybe Sunday as well) with a glass of wine and draw, but wine tasting rooms aren’t really conducive to that, so by the time I drew, I was tired and didn’t get very far…

It’s obviously not done…and I still find the pussy hat problematic. It’s definitely a symbol, but I realize some groups object to it. Anyway, still working on the daughters.

I traced on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights…

It’s slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

I’m in the 300s, I’ve mostly filled one yard and am well on the way to filling the second one. That’s about 5 1/2 hours…not super fast this time. I’ve done almost all of the background stuff, so next on to the body. My goal this week is to finish tracing this and start prepping the fancy paper I bought for the book I’m going to build/draw. If I’m smart, I’ll make a prototype first. It’s debatable if I’m that smart…that shit takes time I don’t usually have.

The kittens have reached the destructive age of 4 1/2 months, where there is a lot of rampaging and moving things away from them or hiding them completely. Like your hair. Or strings on your clothing. Or your toes…

We have temporarily renamed them Lunatic and Novocaine. It works.

Calli was all up in my business last night when I was grading makeup work…

She has a cracked tooth, but it hasn’t slowed her down. She still chews on sticks and bones and eats just fine. No worries…they’ll take it out tomorrow. Meanwhile, I wish these sweet students of mine would follow instructions. Tell me WHAT YOU CHANGED. Because “I fixed my packet” isn’t good enough if I don’t know what you fixed and you didn’t write in a different color like I asked. I can’t tell you how frustrating grading the makeup work was. And I’m not done. Because it’s a clusterfuck. Sigh. It’s OK.

I have the rest of the day. I can make it good. We’re gonna walk dogs, I’m going to trace stuff; my lunches for the week are prepped (although I forgot yesterday and then was up at 1 AM finishing up, because I needed the crockpot for today’s dinner too). My brain. Is fuzz. I should draw that.

It's the Time and Effort That Count…

I’m not marching for women today. I didn’t even realize. Or I did and my brain was overwhelmed. It feels wrong not to be marching, because I still really care about this shit and realize that if we relax about the crap that’s going on, more of the bad crap will happen. And I don’t want that. Remembering a previous relationship where I got mansplained that it was all in my head (so easy for rich white boys to say). So I’m going to draw something…I’ve been doing lots of Earth Mothers during the years and started an Earth Daughter series (that only has two quilts in it, but there’s time for more). I had a plan to draw a few more of these for some upcoming shows that are paranoid about nudity…since the Daughters are usually just chest and up, it’s easier to hide the things that freak people out. Yes, that is a cactus…it just happens to be where nipples are. Can you see my snarky smile? So I had a list of Daughters I was planning to draw and just hadn’t gotten to yet. This morning in the shower, I came up with some more political ones…and even now, the Feminist Daughter will have two versions…with and without nudity. Is this violating how I normally make art? Well…yes and no. I’m aware of what I’m doing and of the power of getting my political/environmental work out there in a variety of venues without the nudity getting it thrown out. I might still get thrown out for politics, but then, realistically, I can’t put that stuff anywhere with stupid restrictions anyway.

Anyway, I’ll be drawing today. Drawing for women…harder to draw for everyone. I guess I pick my battles. Can I draw for everyone? Not really. I try to be more open to other issues or genders or modes of sexuality, but it’s not always obvious in what I draw.

I’m tired. I’m just gonna leave that there.

Kitten cleaning…curled up next to me while I was grading last night. Always grading…

They are related, that’s for sure. And sweet as hell.

I traced for about 2 hours…

I wasn’t very efficient. I was tired and spacey and lost two pieces for a while (didn’t really lose them…just couldn’t find them for a while…that’s a numbering issue).

I’ve mostly filled one yard and started a second one. I’m in the 200s. Hopefully I wrote that down somewhere.

Part of my tired is the puppy…barking at all the coyotes last night until probably 3 AM…and then a minor blood sugar issue around then. I was reading a chapter and eating popcorn at 3, and then finally got to sleep.

Man, I wish I were a cat…

They sleep so well. I suck so bad at sleep.

This is the tap root of the tree the boychild pulled out of a deep hole in the backyard. He’s been digging at it for at least a month, probably longer.

The tree is a volunteer/weed of sorts. Really invasive. We’ll use the hole for something that will block our view of the neighbor’s house. We have plans for planting we can finally start to implement…the trees are trimmed, solar is done and collecting precious sunlight, got the front yard marked for gas/electric and phone lines (which were in a confusing place). We have one lime tree from a friend who moved, and then are planning on a lemon and an avocado, some fencing, and some more plantings that will beautify, block overnight lighting from the neighbors, and keep UPS and Amazon from dumping packages at the wrong door. Big plans!

Still lots of cat interactions happening, all good. Makes us all happy.

OK, I have a ton of grading this weekend, doctor stuff, drawing, tracing, depressing TV (Chernobyl…good but hard to watch), hopefully some outdoors time, some art, who knows what else. Take care of the body, the mind, and Art Brain, but keep the day job from being overwhelming by tackling it and making boundaries around it. Almost a resolution there, but it’s where I’m always at, so not really.

I have two pieces in a show opening today in Ojai, California…the opening starts in 17 minutes. Whoops. No, I’m not there. It was too far. I couldn’t deal with it this weekend.

But it will be there until the end of February…debating my drive home from a trip in February that COULD go here…but it probably wouldn’t be open that day, so that would be silly. Never mind. Anyway, check it out. Beatrice Wood is open Friday, Saturday, and Sunday from 11-5 PM. Now I’m going to grab my sketchbook and go hang out at a winery or two with the man. Necessary stuff for relationships…time. Wine and art are good too, but it’s the time and effort that count.

Rampaging Cat Butts…

I’ve definitely used a significant amount of energy points this week. Labs with slogging bins of sand and water in and out of the classroom two days running, all day. Exercise twice this week on top of that. All the regular walking that comes with being at school. Today the kids research…I’m looking forward to some just-standing time. Maybe. I mean probably I’ll be in a chair at some table where kids can’t deal, but…it’ll be a chair and not running circles around the classroom.

I now have 17 bins of wet sand that need to dry, and it’s raining today. Cold and wet is not conducive to the sand-drying process…I do the weirdest shit for my job. I guess they’ll sit on the counter for a while. Evaporation is slow in a classroom. Hairdryer duty for a kid who needs a job? Anyway.

After the afternoon meeting I had signed up for, I was able to get out in time to kamikaze to the lab to get all my blood sucked out of me (it felt that way) to try to figure out what happened with my blood sugar the other night. I haven’t had any issues since then, except with my paranoia that it might happen again. Home to a few moments with the dogs until they left, and then the house was quiet and I was staring at my computer and stuff to grade. Like always. A short burst of productive time, interspersed with kitten shenanigans…blurry cats are the best cats…

Oh yes, that is a flying leap. We keep boxes for cat play.

They do like to play.

I was getting ready for pilates and got this weird thing going on with the three cats and the dog bed.

When the dogs are gone, there is a lot more interaction and play among the three of them.

But when I got back from class, things had settled down. Yes, that is my work bag.

Yes all the makeup work I need to grade is in there. Sit on, young ladies! Sit on! Can’t work. Kittens in the way.

And then they played some more…old lady got involved.

See Nova hiding by the table?

All that distraction makes it hard to concentrate. Actually, I’m pretty good at ignoring other things and still working. Years of practice. But they are fun to watch.

I started tracing the new quilt around 10 PM…

Maybe later. Yeah. Close to 11. I had finished grading one period of the hellacious assignment…only two to go. Ugh. And then piles of makeup work. It’ll get done. That’s what 3-day weekends are for, right? Double-ugh. They are also for artmaking…

I traced for about an hour. I can’t say how far I got, because I did through piece 84, and then I did all the car headlights, which were not in numerical order, but it made more sense to trace them all together so they could be cut out and ironed together, seeing as how they’re small, and there’s no point in making them all different colors of yellow or white. I’ll do the same with the exhaust pipes and clouds, but then the cars will be all different. That said, each car body is three pieces, and two will be the same color, so they can be traced and ironed together. That saves me time in the long run. I only cut them separately once, when they are on fabric. On Wonder Under, they stay together.

That probably only makes sense to me. And only barely, because I don’t even have one cup of tea in me. OK, buy donuts for the class that won last month, clean classroom, set up for the next assignment, hang out a little after school, come home and try to grade stuff (or nap, whichever seems more efficient). I need to iron and clean up the newest quilt for the photographer tomorrow. I’ve got work to do over the weekend and my doc is making me come in on Monday, where we will discuss her comment about my needing to eat balanced meals. (um. No duh. Stop assuming I’m not.) And maybe I’ll get some sleep. Hard to say with the rampaging kitten butts around here. Definitely going to be tracing more Wonder Under…maybe even finishing it up this weekend. It’s nice not to have someone else’s deadline running me at the moment. Although there is one I need to consider. Sigh. But not now! Now I need to go to work at the day job.

Drawing Done…

I was supposed to come home last night from book club and grade stuff. I graded during the 2-hour union meeting before that, which included a lot of words about the new contract. And by the time I got home from book club, it was after 9 PM and I wasn’t in the mood. So I didn’t grade. Sigh. I’m going to lose a whole day this weekend to grading…I know that.

What I did instead was finish the drawing (finally!) and number it. I need to be working on something artistic right now. The drawing is the hardest part, and I was so close to done. There’s a space where I look at it and think, there’s nothing else that needs to be on there. All the spaces are appropriately filled. It took 6 1/2 hours to do that…it’s about 36×48″.

Although I did consider a cat…

She is doing her cat duty by lying on what I’m working on. Seriously. That’s where I needed to be drawing. But this quilt is more about climate change and war than cats, so I left the cat out.

I added a few things up here, finished the top arm, put a sky behind part of it…

Added some burning trees…not here…but I really like these tumbling birds I drew somewhere and moved onto here.

I can’t always explain why I draw particular things. There they are…

The birds again…not the trees. It was hard to get any photos last night with the lighting right above. Oh yeah, and then I numbered it…

Only 804 pieces. Not bad. OK. It took almost an hour just to number it. I tried to do it logically. When I put the quilt together, we’ll see how logical that was. Tonight I can start tracing. If I am awake. You never know. It’s another busy day.

Ah kittens.

They’re sweet little beasts. Running late. As always…me, not the cats. They’re never late.

Sand and Water and 12-Year-Olds…

So no problems last night with blood sugar. This is good. Except I hate unexplained crap. Like Bigfoot. I want an explanation. My doc had the typical response she always had…Change the Meds! I’m like, no, chillax, it’s not the meds. It’s something else. I don’t know what ELSE is, but it is.

Anyway. Meanwhile, I’m carrying around glucose tabs and testing sort of obsessively, which is expensive, y’all.

Yesterday was the first day back with kids in the classroom. They were sort of gobsmacked by having to come back, but we did a New Year’s clear out your crap thing and then remember the vocab from three weeks ago? No? Then go look at it again.

Today and tomorrow are some high-intensity (read: large mess capability) labs, so we’ll be running around trying to keep that going. I had tutoring after school yesterday and sat with some kids and talked about the difference between erosion and weathering. Straight up, I had to go look it up to make sure I knew the difference, so I guess it’s a good thing that we are reviewing. Laughing. I don’t always know things. It’s OK. Somehow, the kids all thought that the sun was hot enough to melt rocks on the surface…which it is, but only if the sun is a LOT closer, in which case, we’re all crispy bacon. So yeah. Meanwhile, my doctor’s office is calling this morning and wants me to take today off school to come in. Oh yeah. Not happening.

So I got home and went to pilates (good choice, very relaxing) and came home and ate dinner and then graded all the late work that got piled on top of me yesterday (just get it OVER with) and then realized book club is today, tonight, and I had (I thought) one chapter left to read. It wasn’t one. It was two and a very long epilogue. But I read them. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep during some of it and I’m still not really sure what happened with the two gods at the end, but whatever. I finished.

While grading…Luna likes to watch computer and phone screens…from right up in my face.

Like could you be any closer. It’s sweet, yes. Very sweet. Not very conducive to grading.

And then while I was reading…the man took this picture…

I got Nova first, climbing up on my arm and perching there. As they get bigger, this will be more challenging. Who needs the gym when you are holding a cat on your arm? And then Luna, who can not be left out of things, wandered over and tried to figure out how to be in Nova’s space.

We are still putting them in the crate at night and when we’re gone during the day. It’s a safe space and they are inquisitive enough (read: have knocked enough shit over) that we don’t want to leave them home alone unsupervised yet, until they’re too big to cause damage? I don’t know. Until we feel OK with it. So they’re currently rampaging around the house while I write this…I need to leave in 10 minutes, so I need to find and corral them. Usually that involves throwing a toy mouse with rattles in it. They don’t quite come when they’re called (they are cats), but this is a close second.

Art yesterday didn’t happen. I was exhausted from not sleeping the night before and a long day at school. Today will be long too. And I’m already tired. I asked for a phone appointment from the doc…we’ll see if she can do that. Hopefully. She’s probably going to want labs, fasting. That’ll be fun.

Did I tell you we trimmed trees? Well I hired someone to trim three of the big beasts, and now there is so much more sun coming in on the back of the house. Pros and cons of that, but the solar panels are happy and so are the cats. Hopefully they’ll leaf out a bit by summer so we don’t die, but for now, it feels nice.

Off to work. Weathering and erosion labs. Lots of sand and water and 12-year-olds. Always good choices.

Need More Things…

OK, so I had a rough diabetic night with blood sugar randomly crashing and refusing to come back up. I’m running on about 4 hours of sleep, I need to call the doc, I already talked to the nurse who confirmed I did everything right (although I’m sure the man wishes I didn’t wake him up, but I needed someone ready to call 911 if I couldn’t). FUN. I love unexplained health issues the day before I get kids in the classroom. Well. Hours before I get kids in the classroom. I have a parent meeting this morning, but I’m prepared for the rest of it. Just not sure how to fit the doc in there as well. Honestly I think I need something more than “here, we’re gonna take all your blood and pee”, but whatever. I have food and glucose tabs and a meter at school and IDK what else to do. Scary though.

As with most people, I hate when things are out of control.

Yesterday, though, I got everything ready and it was all good. I came home and the trees were trimmed and there’s light places where there hasn’t been light and my solar is collecting all that lovely light and I can watch it on an app do all that, so nice.

I did my first Patreon video for January, all about the drawing I’m working on.

I’m pretty fast at the editing now. That’s a skill.

Boychild found me for this…

That’s a raccoon. Can you tell? He went up one of the trees eventually. That right there is about where the neighbor wants to put a fence. He wants to fence the whole property. I think they told him 12K. Well yeah, dude. So I don’t know how that’s gonna go, but maybe I’m not going to have to stare at a fence. And raccoons can go where they want.

It’s possible in my old age that we will have to move further out.

Then there was a lot of kitten interactions. See the blurry one? Yeah, lots of that.

And that…

And some play…

Plus dual tail bopping…

All good. Did I finish anything last night? Nope. Well, not true…one class of an assignment. Finished that.

And then I drew…

Almost there. She has a head now…

Needs more things. We all do. OK, blood sugar behave. Doc find a reason. Kids do their things. I’m exhausted. Good times!

There's Ploding

OK, since I resized the photos and opened this blogpost, SEVENTEEN THOUSAND THINGS have shown up in text, my inbox, my brain, wherever. I hate the last few days of break. They implode. Or explode. There’s ploding. Of some sort. I literally can’t focus on anything, even my eyeballs are all floaty things and goo. Wait. Maybe that’s pinkeye. No. Why would I have pinkeye? I wouldn’t. OK, so I’m just tired and there’s too much looking at things going on. IDK how you go through life without looking though. I’m an observant person. Maybe I look too hard or too much. Whatever that means.

I can’t get anything done the last few days of break. I mean, I get things done, but things explode in time, like a pufferfish or those biscuits you break out of the cardboard tube or bread rising. Like one thing yesterday that should have taken not much time took forever. Well. In my head.

Anyway, so I should accept the time-wasting, the fast-moving (only in my head) clock. Just accept. Yesterday, I did manage to go to Dick Blick for fancy art paper. I didn’t need much…but it means driving downtown. Well, I drove to SDSU first and that was a mistake because mapping sucks AND it was closed for break. So I don’t like the downtown one because parking is hellacious. But I managed it and got the paper, because I’m making an artist book. No really. Not one you’ll want to read so much. Well, honestly, I just don’t know what I’m doing with it, but I needed paper I could make a box (or 17) out of. So it’s a good thing I took that class over the summer about paper building and boxes and embroidery, because now I’m gonna use it. Well. Maybe not the embroidery. We’ll see.

I also finally finished grading the huge assignment. Well. There’s another one. This one felt huge while I was doing it.

The next one probably will too. Although the fact that not everyone turned in the next assignment will mean it takes less time.

OK, so I’m still in this brain place that hasn’t started drawing the next quilt. I think it’s because I’m still doing a drawing a day. Maybe I should stop.

I like the birds.

I had some stuff that was copied and I taped one of them together…

But it won’t work for either of the two library shows (I sent an email for clear guidelines on what’s allowed, but I’m pretty sure nudity is out). And it’s not what I want for the next big one. I just need to draw it.

Maybe that’s today’s plan. Clear the light table, prep a big damn piece of paper, and start drawing it.

I’m still working on the binding…with doggie help.

Or not. This was around midnight. I finished the last side and started one of the sleeves. One finger is really hurting. I’m not sure it’s related to this…I think I pin-stabbed it. Whoops. Simba really just wants me to rub his belly instead of stitching.

I even got Kitten at one point…

The other kittens were out being treated for worms. Gross stuff. They came back and played around for a while and then got locked up in the crate for sleepy time.

Boychild has been digging up this Tree of Heaven (it’s a weed…a seriously fucking tree weed that goes to the center of the Earth and out the other side)…

He keeps finding glass buried down there. I’m pretty sure the newest pieces are vintage whisky bottle…

Fascinating shit out there…

Meanwhile…today…I need to get new hiking boots. I need to start grading the last of the hellacious things. I need to pull some quilt rolls out for a curator who’s doing a ‘studio visit’ tomorrow (my studio is the whole house…makes it difficult). I need to take a freakin’ shower! Seriously this day is kicking my butt. I need to make the other batch of scones before the ingredients go bad. I need to clear the damn light table and start drawing! Yes. That thing. OK. Well. Let’s start with the shower and see how the day goes. Or not. Because the boychild is still doing laundry. OK. Let’s start with the quilt rolls or the scones or maybe the light table. SEE! This is how it starts. I should write all the tasks on little pieces of paper and put them in a jar and then pick one to do first. Geez, even I am rolling my eyes at that.

I can only do what I can do. And realizing that the end of break is ALWAYS this fucked up should help.