Chaos I Know

Oh hey. When you come home from school on a Monday and it feels like a Thursday. That. I noticed last year that the first two days of the school week felt like four. And then you’d get to Thursday and it would be better. Kids have to relearn routines after a weekend off. Three-day weekends are worse. Some of this is learning the kids at this time of year. I had to chomp down on one period on the first day. They had one good day and the others have been a stretch. The work refusal thing…groupwork does not mean you hand the worksheet to one person and make them do it. You do that and I have them do it on their own and hand you your own. Four people equals four brains, not two. Or one. There seems to be some shock with that. All in the one period. It’s fine. Things will move around. That might be my best class in a month or two. You never know. The rest of it is upper management making it harder to do my job. And some of it is other teachers. There is one group who feels put upon, but to solve their problem, they want to revive a system we had some years back that didn’t work, that put the onus on another group to manage this group’s needs. And we got rid of that. But these two teachers weren’t here and they’re trying to revive it here. Nope. Uh uh. We’re not.

So I spend a ton of my day texting, talking, and emailing as a union rep, trying to get everyone to consider the needs of everyone else, while getting told to be a marigold (a flower that protects other flowers). I guess I’m a marigold with teeth? Or a cranky marigold. I don’t know. It solidifies my decision to retire in three years. And to say no a lot to all the unnecessary extras. And to push back on the thing you told me today that you want me to incorporate into tomorrow’s lessons. Nope. I need more warning. Bitchy start. And it’s hot here, which doesn’t help. My A/C at school is finally working well…no more crazy 84% humidity, where the papers wilt.

Artwise, this is always an adjustment as well. Monday, after a 2-hour staff meeting that made no freakin’ sense, I did not have the energy to go to ceramics (I wouldn’t even have gotten there until 5:30), so I came home and worked on rosters and time capsule photos, fighting my printer. I need a new printer. This one is too old and has connection issues, but I don’t have any money until October. Some unexpected pool and car expenses did not help this summer, so we’re doing that thing where I don’t get paid until the 31st but I’m working and I haven’t been paid since June. It’s been a stretch. It’s going to continue to be a stretch in September with the house insurance being due. Makes me rethink retirement, except no, it doesn’t. I can work somewhere else with less stress, less work to bring home. Less management of other people. So Monday night, the next real art step was drawing, and there was no way I had the energy for that. So I cut out 24 freezer paper circles, ironed them to three different wool fabrics, and cut those out, and pinned them down to the borders of Sue Spargo’s Rooted Block of the Month…

Now I just need to sew them down and embroider around them. Sounds simple. It is. I used to be able to do these every night instead of working every night. Nah. Aargh.

Last night, I finally got the headspace to draw. I had let my brain percolate for the last two days…what did I want to add to the drawing I started at the residency? Where was that going? How big was it going to be? I have limited time. I have to remember that. I had already taped the enlarged drawing together…I just needed to add some paper around that. Scribble was a lovely paperweight.

The pro is that she does not fight back as I slide her all over the light table. She did eventually get irritated and leave though, which is good, because I needed to add even more to the edges.

It got really big all of a sudden, but I may end up trimming some of the extra off. So yeah, I’m drawing. It’ll be OK. I like to draw. I’m not always sure what I’m drawing, but that’s also OK. This is a good headspace for the end of the day.

This stuff drives me nuts. Let’s not give the untrained, power-hungry crazies any more tools for destruction.

We already have people pretending to be ICE and attacking people. Why did we need to make these? They should be illegal.

Yesterday with the kids wasn’t bad. They followed instructions except for a few lazy butts in that one class. I had my first detention yesterday, but I think I might be building a relationship with that kid. Pros and cons. Today is a bit more of the chaos…sometimes that’s all it is in here…but it’s chaos I know, chaos I’ve done before for years. That helps. Next week’s chaos is an unknown…new stuff. That’s harder. I’m sure there are some guidelines somewhere; I just haven’t found them yet. I created a new homework assignment last night too. I may be the only science teacher giving homework at the point. Oh well. It’s good for them, good practice. Makes them think independently. Schedule stuff. Good life skills. Honestly, the paper itself would take about 10 minutes to do well, so it’s not a huge time suck. And most of them don’t do it at home.

So we finish up safety stuff today so I can test them on it tomorrow; then they do their time capsules, so I’ve been dealing with photos. Hoping I have enough yarn to measure their height. Then pilates after school. Then drawing later. Gonna do some schoolwork before that though. Get stuff graded before the weekend. I have a lot on my to-do list for the weekend that is NOT school-related. Hopefully a decent night’s rest…between the low blood sugar every night at 3 AM (ugh, make it stop; need a solution for that) and the heat and the crankiness and the dog, sleep is not coming easily. At some point, exhaustion hits though and you sleep no matter what.

Weird Wiggly Space

I’m still in a weird wiggly space, although this is more about relearning the routines I forgot on purpose over the summer. Remembering that school controls everything, however much you try to control it back. Ultimately, if you don’t do the work, you’re not ready to teach, and that’s a problem. Your problem. So sure, you can say, oh I’m going to take this weekend off, but if you didn’t do the work Friday for Monday, then you just fucked yourself over. That said, I’m not ready. I did some work but not all of it, because I didn’t have time to do all of it. Hoping to do some of it actually AT work today (what a concept). We’ll see how that goes. Two-hour staff meeting at the end of it. Could do without that. Apparently not an option.

I did do art things this weekend though. I finished two quilts, went to an opening, delivered the two quilts to my photographer, and started another one. Not a bad progress report.

I finished the binding and sleeves on this big one…

And then took a really crappy night photo of it…

Saturday, I ironed it and dehaired it and packed it up for the photographer, who will do a much better job. On Saturday, I did the last little bit of embroidery on this, on the phone…

Had to add the mail app. And then I quilted the background with the machine…

I did most of this embroidery at the residency.

Smaller, but not less time-consuming when you do this to it. So I also ironed it, dehaired it, and packed it up for the photographer. Two in two days sounds impressive, but the other one was almost done before I left. I just didn’t take it with me.

And now on to the next one…which I started as a drawing at the residency, after listening to/watching a bunch of videos about fungi and mycelial networks…

I enlarged what I’d drawn so far…there will be more. So there’s the next one.

I also put this together, Rooted by Sue Spargo…

I’d finished the embroidery a while ago. I also put the borders on, but there is some stitching on the borders, so I’ll need to prep that. Didn’t get to that last night…I was doing other artsy stuff instead.

Saturday night was the FIG Master Glitch opening at the Techne Art Center in Oceanside.

It’s a big space and we have a lot of work in it.

I have 6 pieces in the show, mostly big pieces, and they’re all upstairs.

Some of them are older and haven’t been out for a while. But if you’re one of those weirdos who is always looking for the penis in my quilts, that’s a legit penis in that one. Meant to do it. Not hiding it.

My work is surrounded by the ceramics of Linda Litteral.

There’s lots of reasons to go to this show, even if you didn’t make it to the opening.

There’s a lot of art.

There’s some great burger joints in Vista, which is pretty close.

And I will be there Saturday, August 29, from 1-6 PM. It’ll probably be less crowded then.

The Man did an admirable job of trying to get photos of me with my work…which is hard when it’s spread out along a balcony basically. That guy wouldn’t move. So he’s in my photos.

And you get a good idea of how big some of my work is.

There’s a small one! Anyway, check it out, open Tuesday-Saturday, 1-6 PM, through September 30.

Busy weekend. Busy upcoming week. I’d like to make it to ceramics today after a month of being away. Not sure what I will be looking at. I know the glazes I ordered came in, but I don’t remember what I was doing before I left. Should take better notes. Glazing, yes. Be more specific. I’m hoping I’m not completely knackered by the end of the 2-hour meeting. What are the odds? But otherwise I won’t be able to get there until Friday. And I’ll be tired then too. Gotta get up, despite the tired part. I don’t have to cook tonight, but I suspect I have to empty the dishwasher. I think there should be a rock, paper, scissors thing for that, because I didn’t have a dishwasher where I was…I just had to wash them all myself. So I think there are some assumptions that might need blasting.

Speaking of blasting, is it true that the dumbass government I didn’t vote for is thinking about using nuclear weapons on Iran? Like WTF? Are they idiots? I mean, I guess I know the answer to that.

So much incompetency. So many bad decisions. Not even sure where to start.

Except I need to go to work and (ironically) teach about safety in the lab (don’t set off a bomb, any kind, especially a nuclear one). Then sit through two hours of yammering. Then hopefully go to ceramics. Then come back and discuss the dishwasher. And hopefully get to drawing at some point. That’s the plan anyway.

Arrived.

I’m half-lying on a daybed (who thought these were comfortable for sitting? They are only comfortable for lying down…maybe that’s the point)…wondering how hard it would be to bring the nice comfy chair from upstairs down here. Do I want to end up in a cast in the first week of my residency? Not really. Hmmm. Will think that over. Right now, it’s in the mid-90s, I have a fan blowing on me, and I’m processing lunch in my normal afternoon lull of energy. I’m on a computer, but all my photos are on a different set of devices, so I’m going to write and then add pictures, I guess. Or I could go over to the device and add all the photos and come back here and type? I do not have the brain power for this level of decisionmaking at the moment.

It seems the app also has issues. Ah well…back to the smaller device that is more difficult to type on. I’m a few days behind my actual existence. Honestly, I’m not sure what day it is. Friday? I think so. So on Wednesday, we made it to Crater Lake and it was much cooler than the apps claimed it would be. Something about a big body of water and elevation seems to make that happen. We were OK with it…also flabbergasted by the size of the lake/crater/mountain that existed before the volcano blew.

Really that’s what we do…stare at the valley/crater/lake and imagine the size of the volcano that used to exist there.

There were a few hikes available, but we only did one…

Out to a version of pinnacles…we’ve seen a lot of pinnacly things in our time (Bryce, Chiracahua, Pinnacles), and these were definitely different.

Caused by geothermal things (shockingly). Cemented minerals from the inside of fumaroles…mostly hollow. Very bizarre. But cool to see. Hot out though, so the Man refused the hike to the waterfall after. Not a problem…just a reason to come back. I always need a reason to come back.

The next morning, we were up and out early to get the Man on a plane home.

We drove north to Redmond, where the smoke was bad; lots of fires going on north of here. Hope they are improving. We did follow this truck.

Definitely smoky. I worked on this bird. I dropped the Man at the airport, and then ran some errands (gas is cheap here, y’all), picked up one of the other residents, went shopping at a variety of places, and headed south to Playa at Summer Lake, where I will be for the next 17 days, which sounds like forever. So I just saw a group of residents heading off to the local reservoir to go swimming. I’m OK. I’m tired, honestly…water might help? But I think I need some quiet headspace more than I need to swim. There’s plenty of time for all that.

Painting from Bend.

It was hot when we arrived, and a lot of the stuff in my car is from the trip up, but I moved it all in and just piled it up in places.

Mine is the building in the middle. Bedroom upstairs, living area, kitchen, and bathroom downstairs, and the one-story bit to the right is my studio, which is bigger than anything I get to use in my house. I’m debating going and asking them for another table at the moment.

There’s a pond right across the grass from me. It hosts coots and grebes and a muskrat I saw last night (first muskrat ever).

Then way out there is Summer Lake…we’ll walk out there eventually. It’s too hot and windy at the moment.

I woke up around 6 AM and saw this out the upper window.

I breakfasted with a marmot.

Here’s the first, relatively clear version of the studio, with everything unpacked. It’s all moved since then.

I spent time today making print paste and urea water, plus doing my laundry. I’m waiting for the print paste to set up a bit and then I’ll start mixing some dyes. I don’t have a ton of fridge space in my cabin, but I can store things in the Commons, which is the building just to the left in the photo up above. I might need to store the dye concentrates there. It’s too warm here.

There’s the wind picking up earlier.

So yeah. I’m here. Doing different stuff. I have some commercial fabric with me, not a lot. I have two dye paintings that need embroidery. I have a few line-drawing dye paintings from last summer that need color; I brought some Inktense pencils to try, but also might just dye paint them. I have about 10 yards of prepared fabric that can be dye painted. I have paper for a few quilt drawings for upcoming shows. And of course, I have my sketchbooks (only 3?). A lot of the people here have admitted to just needing headspace for a while, and I’m with that crew I think. Prepping dye things is one part of the brain (mix this with that and label it) and actually making something with it is another part. That part is not ready yet, but it will be.

There Are Bugs and They Will Eat Your Face.

I don’t know if you’ve seen those bad National Park reviews made into posters; the girlchild got me one that said something like all there is do to here is walk around, which kind of defines all our park experiences, and we’re totally fine with that (you can find them at this website). That said, Lassen Volcanic National Park has some seriously nasty biting bugs and we both have some serious welts from them. I’m not sure where we saw this comment, but it seems relevant.

We left Sacramento Saturday morning and headed to Lassen. We couldn’t camp on this trip because I needed to carry some art stuff, and the car is full when we bring the tent and everything, so we sort of are glamping. We waited too late to get in the actual park, but were 15 minutes outside in a cabin with a bed, fridge, tea kettle, but also an outdoor picnic table and fire pit. Not big enough to really hang out inside, hence the bug bites.

I’m writing this in the car as we leave Lassen, but don’t have enough bars to add photos yet. So I’m adding the photos this evening at our cabin in Oregon. Not the one in the photo above.

We drove through the park on the way in but didn’t stop except at the visitor center. Also came to the realization that my height-induced anxiety has not improved. Don’t look down!

We did dinner, a fire, and drawing in the dark. My favorite.

The next morning, we had decided to at least hike TO Cinder Cone, although probably not UP it. We got to see the lava beds, which did not look like I expected them at all.

Plus a deer and a lot of people in inappropriate shoes. Hiking on cinders is a challenge. I did go part way up, and realized the bigger issue for me (and my decrepit knees) would be coming back down, so I quit. I was right…the down was painful. Sliding rocks galore.

See where the trail curves? I got maybe 1/4 to 1/3 of the way up from the curve. We did about 4 miles total at 6300 feet elevation, in the heat, and that pretty much was the day. That and 12 miles on a washboard dirt road. Nice lake though and beautiful view of the cone. I think I had it a lot easier than the Man…his ears weren’t popping like mine the day before, but the elevation seemed to affect him more.

We also saw some cloud iridescence near the cone…

Showered (lovely), read, embroidered.

Drew by the fire…

( I really need a better picture of that one).

The next day was Monday and we were hoping there’d be fewer people (there were) than when we drove through on Saturday. When most of the park is closed except for the summer months, everyone comes in the summer. So we did the west drive through, after meandering through the countryside for 90 minutes to get back to the beginning. We saw (and smelled) Sulphur Springs…

Then headed out for Bumpass Hell…this hike was harder and felt longer than we’d thought, mostly again probably elevation related (8300+), but was definitely worth it.

Fumaroles, bubbling mud, stupid tourists stepping off the trail…all the good things.

Loud too. And then we hiked out to Cold Boiling Lake, which might be bigger and more impressive? Some time? Unsure. But we saw another deer and a chipmunk taking a dirt bath, which was cute as hell. Plus a baby chipmunk.

And a lot of burnt trees. The Dixie Fire did a lot of damage.

We skipped another hike (gotta leave something for next time), but did do the Devastated Trail for info about the 1915 eruption. You know, I used to teach volcanoes when I taught 7th grade, and we labeled them as active, inactive, or extinct. All through the park, there’s nothing about the status of the volcanoes. There’s obvious geothermal activity everywhere…

Then we walked some more (the Man under extreme duress) but we saw a fawn and mom…

And then got most of Lassen Peak with Manzanita Lake…

Apparently the extra 1/4 mile (plus round trip) to get a better photo wasn’t happening (next time!)…we had been gone 8 hours at that point and needed to stop. Back to camp, shower (bliss!), reading, stitching…

Although I missed 2 1/2 lines of instructions, tried to find them online, failed, and made shit up. Then found the instructions and ignored the fact I used the wrong thread (it’s still green; it’ll be fine), then drew again.

(Another blurry photo).

We left this morning for areas north…more on that later this week. We did things today too. Can’t handle that right now. It’s hot and humid and I’m in a house with A/C, a bathroom, and no bugs. Life is good.

How to Do Stuff…

The summer heat is here, although not as bad as it will be in September. It’s muggy and the air moves slowly, though, and I just sweat no matter what. My head is full of chaos…making decisions is difficult at the moment. My head is doing all the trip planning, making sure I have everything I need. The bathing suit top came in today and fits perfectly (thanks to the goddess of boobage), we ordered a new ice chest last night that will stay cold longer, and this morning, I started packing things up into stuff coming in the car vs stuff being shipped in a box. Weight is a lot of that or if it can spill or if I can live without it if it doesn’t show up. All stressful. I bought a new ironing pad that can survive the heat of the car…no matter what, our trip is going to be overly warm. Crater Lake looks like it will be in the high 90s (ugh). The wonder of traveling in the summer…this is why we like spring instead.

Quiltwise, I finished stitchdown yesterday afternoon…after doing some on Friday night, almost done.

We were gone for about 24 hours Saturday/Sunday, so here was Sunday afternoon…

Then I found a backing, washed the batting, cleaned the entryway floor and tried to clear it out enough to spread this thing out…

It’s not very wide, about 40″, but it’s 80″ tall, so not small. And complicated as hell, of course.

Last night, before I started quilting, I fixed two pairs of pants that had been waiting about a month. One pair is going with me, and the other is ready for the start of school. SCHOOL. Yeah, I know, but I’m coming back right into it. I’ll be quilting today. After I decide which dyes to take with me and whether to take anything else to color things with and whether to take another slow stitching project, because I don’t have enough? Crazy really, considering what I’ve packed up. I don’t think I need more stuff. Really. I do hate being bored or not inspired. But I don’t think that will be the case. So pick the dyes I’m taking (I’m not taking all of them), then figure out how to pack the dye stuff containers that are too tall for the boxes I have OR go through the garage for a bigger box OR ask the boychild if I can borrow one of his, because it’s not clear and will protect things from light? IDK. I’m in waffle mode. I can’t make decisions. I did well so far this morning; went through my dye info from last year’s self-directed residency and made some decisions about what materials I needed.

I finished the squirrel block, so I can leave it behind.

I’m bringing a few more for the first part of the trip, plus brainless sitting around, which does happen.

The Man and I went to Julian for his birthday…went to two cideries (England v Norway).

The second cidery…

We then checked in and headed to a winery for the end of the game (sound only) and to get some food elsewhere (beginning of Argentina v Switzerland)…

Crows were active. Back to the room where the Man took a well-deserved nap and I tried to finish a book that was returning to the library today (don’t worry; I finished it a few hours ago, which is why this is late).

Then onto the last place for the finish of the Argentina game.

We’ll be in Lassen National Park for the final. Not sure we’ll be able to watch it; might be hiking, and that’s OK.

Julian was pretty dead. It was hot and warm and cloudy and muggy, but it was a good break from being here, I think. We’ll be repeating the experience but a long way away starting Friday. The Man is going to help me drive up to Bend, with lots of nature on the way, and then he’ll fly home to work and deal with animals. I wish him luck. He’ll probably appreciate the peace and quiet and the bed to himself (plus four cats and a dog). He’ll live on hot dogs, burritos, and beer (nothing new there). All is good. I’m revising my food list based on the Cyclospora outbreaks…that’s the last thing I need. If I can find a farmers’ market for a few veggies, I will, but I’m shifting toward the stuff I can cook. My brain keeps a never ending cycle of how to do stuff going on inside, so I don’t forget silly stuff like tape or Saran wrap. I think I’d live without them, but it’s easier to have them. The notes I took at the last residency were useful–reminded me of things I would need for this one. Smart former self helping today’s self.

Meanwhile, one of my quilts finishes up in an exhibit at the New England Quilt Museum on July 20, and then ships to this exhibit…

That’s a detail of Dale Stuart’s quilt in the show. Amazing work. I’ll hopefully be starting drawings for the next Soul Stories piece for 2027, plus another piece hopefully for a show here in San Diego. If I get in. All I’m getting are rejections at the moment. I take a deep breath and power on. I go through phases where nothing gets and then it all gets in. It’s not a reflection on myself or my work…it just is what it is. So in response to that last rejection, I entered another show for a group I’m in that I’ve never shown with…so hopefully that will happen. If not, enter again. Make more work. Enter that. Repeat.

Ooooh…here’s another possible topic for the next Soul Stories quilt.

I’ve got some work to do in the yard to help with this. For when I get back.

From the book I just finished…

This might be a good summary of how I work. I do these painstaking drawings, number each piece, trace them, etc. And then pick all the colors out without a color master, just to drive all the perfectionists bonkers. Yup. That’s me. Hell, I drive part of my brain bonkers every time I do it. And yet, it works.

OK. It’s the middle of the day and I need to consider eating lunch. I have physical therapy today for my knee/heel today (she took on my heel, which I appreciate) plus book club. Don’t remember which book, but I know I read it. I need to pick a smaller number of dyes to take with me, decide if I’m shipping one box or two, decide what I will store things in during the trip, cut some paper for large-scale quilt drawings, start quilting, and breathe. I really should also sand the fascia and do a second round of Bondo in there. Go through my written supply lists and make sure I’m getting those things packed. That’s just today. Tomorrow is a whole ‘nother list of lists. And notice I didn’t even mention ceramics…yikes, I think I’ll stop by today after PT. And see how things are going. And I’ll try again the next three days, see if I can get the torso ready to bisque fire. If not, it can sit, and I’ll bring the neck home and put it in the damp box for the next month? I guess? Ugh. So many things to consider.

Not in the Car…

Well sleeping in is not a thing I’m doing this summer. I try. Sleep is just an absolute mess, honestly. I try. I put my pillow over my head, I deep breathe, I meditate. I’m taking a sleep tincture; just added some Chinese herbs that should calm my whole system down (ha! as if that’s a thing…OK, sure it is for some people, but I seem to roll in overdrive). I’d just like to make it to 8:30 AM without waking up 47 times…and that’s not happening. I was sure I’d sleep last night because I hadn’t the night before, and usually, exhaustion sets in, but no. No such luck. Ah well. When I am retired, I will sleep badly at night and take a nap in the afternoon, when I am lagging. Stay up late, like my brain prefers…make up for it later. For now? I will just be tired. I still get the things done; I just yawn a lot.

Some part of it is probably planning anxiety. I always get like this with a trip, and this one is complicated by the art stuff. The residency is so far away from everything that I have to be sure I have what I need with me, whether in the car or shipped. So that’s a lot. And my brain obsesses over the lists of stuff and making sure I’m getting stuff done every day. Because I don’t have much time before we leave and I go back to school right when I get back. It’ll be fine, honestly, once I get in the car.

I’m not in the car yet.

So I’m trying to get the current quilt to the pinbasted stage before I leave. I finished ironing it to the background on Wednesday night…

It’s kind of a crazy piece…I started with a drawing I did in a very long staff meeting last year of just the center head and the arm and the birds, and then I added to the top and the bottom. I was just going to do the head and shoulders, back in January, when I got another assignment that needed to be done quickly, so I put this aside, and by the time I was ready to make it, there were political issues pressing on my mind (again), and I had to add to it. Kind of a living in this world, but unable to ignore the crap thing. Which is real, of course. I’m lucky to not have all of it in my face every day (as long as I don’t interact with the world in any way). Especially in summer, when I often hermit through huge chunks of it. This year, I’m gonna hermit in (what did my daughter call it?) Buttfuck, Oregon. Don’t be offended, Oregon; she just means in the middle of nowhere. And it’s not nowhere to those who live there. It’s just isolated. I’m ready for isolated.

It took almost 18 hours to iron it together; I’m guessing at least 5 total to stitch it down. I’m 2 1/2 hours in…

I did some in the afternoon…and some at night.

I’m up in her upper torso. One arm is mostly done. So am I halfway? Not quite, but close. Like I said, another 2 1/2 hours ish. Hopefully done today? We’ll see. I had plans for clay, but I don’t think the timing is going to work, since I have to cook dinner and I have pilates at a weird time plus a breast MRI. And I need to ship some stuff.

I also put the binding on this dye painting from last year.

I quilted it the other day; it still needs the hand stitching, but I can do that later. What I really wanted was something I could slow stitch on and maybe finish in August for all the shows I need to have work for when I get back.

I did my back-to-school shopping yesterday. It had to get done before I left. It was simple, but let’s see if I remember where I put everything when I get back. I’m trying to be logical, but August brain may not agree with July’s logic. Hard to say.

I have two more art exhibits I need to enter before I leave. I still need to organize and pack; I organize a little every day. I think and worry about it way more than I do it. But I will get there. I want to finish this squirrel before I go…

These Spargo blocks are perfect for the car or for sitting around in the evening, but this one is almost done, so it’s silly not to just finish it before I go and start the next one on the way north. I need to finish the background stitching around that leaf and then add five ladybugs. That’s what will take the most time. I’m not sure I’ll finish painting the fascia before I go. I need to sand and put another layer of Bondo in the bad wood, then prime a couple of times, then paint three times, I think. So probably not done before I go. The yard will never be done, so there’s that.

I will get done what I can. That’s all I can ever do. I’ve never been gone this long before.

This little cockatiel was hanging out by the pool yesterday.

It talked to me. I talked to it. It had a friend flying around. It was warm? Maybe it needed a break? By the time I found it some water and food, it had left, but it was here for a long while. Not a native bird, for sure.

One thing I need to do before I leave is deliver my work for this exhibit. I’ll be at the opening.

That’s the plan anyway. It’s a big space; should be a good show. Speaking of making cool things…

Let’s hope…because this is the alternative.

Watching the government go after people with differing opinions…well, that’s not a democracy. That’s not patriotism. That’s another form of government that we fought against on multiple occasions.

Yeah. That isn’t going to improve in the next month. OK. Today. Shower, then boob thing. It’ll be a week or more (last year it was 10 days) until I know it’s all clear. I still haven’t heard back on the brain; same deal. It’s summer and info trickles. Not really worried about either of them; low level health anxiety always rides in the back. But I’ll have a new brain picture to use in a quilt, right? Then pilates at a weird time. Plus stitchdown. And shipping. And crossing things off the to-do list. Love that part. It’s the best.

It’s a Lot…

I’m totally off on writing. Also on days. I have a vague sense of the week, but that’s what we aim for during summer…not knowing the day and the date because teachers have to know those things. That said, am I recovered yet from the school year? Hell no. I’m still short on sleep. I’m still not convinced school won’t start again next week. I’m not relaxed yet. I have a hard time at night not grabbing the computer to grade something (there’s nothing to grade, brain…you can stop now.). It’s only a week since school got out though, and it usually takes at least two for me to relax. Today, I am stuck at home without a car…it’s getting a tuneup for the trip to Oregon…and honestly, it feels good. I CAN’T go run errands. I’ve got no way to leave. Tomorrow might be an issue; I’m supposed to go to a pool party thing and I don’t have a car for that. I’ll figure it out. Or Lyft. Whichever seems easier. But no car is somehow freeing? Weirdly so.

Artwise, I’m almost done with ironing. So close. Could have stayed up late last night to finish, but had to be up early to take the car in. Need to make sure I get enough sleep. This was Tuesday night…

The piles look the same, really. Last night, I had about 100 pieces left, for real this time…

It’s felt like I’ve only had 100 pieces left many times. I did want to be done by last night…just didn’t happen. As soon as I finish writing this, I’ll finish ironing. It’s another hour or so. Three pink hands and the things they’re holding. That’s it.

I did start trimming yesterday during a Zoom meeting. No photo of that. Hoping to be done with the trimming early to mid next week, then iron it together, stitch it down…I don’t think I can finish this before I go and there’s limited time when I get back. I’m going for the deadline but don’t think I’ll make it. I have other stuff I need to do. I’ve been painting deck railings. I had to redo one of the ones from Winter Break…it bubbled. It rained when I originally painted it. The others are fine, but this one was cranky. The back railing also needs painting. It’s been washed, sanded, and has one coat of primer on it. I can only paint when it’s cool, so late evening, and the sun isn’t on the railings, still late evening. And then I need to let it dry. I also need to do the fascia on the back of the house, which is complicated by a thin deck back there…up and down the ladder. Then the rest of the deck wall, again, only when the sun is not shining on it. Complicated. Lots of yard work, lots of housework, plus trying to figure out all I need for this trip and getting it done. The car is one part of that.

I made it to ceramics yesterday finally. I was going Tuesday, but I had my first acupuncture appointment for my foot and it ran long. And there was traffic. And I was running up against the Tuesday night ceramics classes, so I went yesterday instead. Finished the sgraffito underglazing and can now go on to the rest of the piece.

I have more of that brown color for the body.

I was trying to keep it simple.

I don’t actually do simple well. I was going to go in tomorrow morning, but with no car, that’s not happening, so it will have to be next week. Multiple days in a row, I think. This thing needs to go in the kiln before I leave. I hope.

I’ve been doing some Spargo stuff. There are 16 flowers in the border of Homegrown, and they’ve been appliqued for a while. I did start stitching on them, but I’m going to be doing this for at least a year, I think.

This one is close to done. It’s the first one. Like I said, gonna be here for a while. It’s relaxing though. Better than grading. Much better.

One of the barn owls is still around. I hear her in the tree outside my office at night. I talk to her.

She leaves me feathers and pellets. I’ve collected quite a few skulls and bones at this point.

This is what cats do all day.

The fourth one is in the cat bed on the dresser. So hard to be a cat. Honestly, the dog is asleep somewhere too.

So many stories coming out about people not being able to have life- or uterus-saving procedures because of this stupidity.

People without medical degrees need to stay out of these decisions.

This is where I’m at right now.

I have the man for the moon stuff. He’ll be out on the deck at night, banging on the window so I’ll come out and look at yet another moon. Yup. That’s a moon. That said, I’m staring at the ground and picking up owl vomitous. So we do well together. Most of the time. I am definitely a different person when school is fully out of session, when I don’t even have to worry about what I’m teaching when I come back. My co-teacher claims she’s changing shit. I can’t deal with that right now. Neither can she, at the moment, but on August 1, when she starts thinking about it, I’ll be in the middle of my residency, fully out of school mode. Good times.

OK. Today. Trapped in the house. Where there are books and food and fabric and QUIET (it’s quiet here, so weirdly satisfying), no kids yelling, no construction hammers or mowers or blowers going. Just birds. And the dog occasionally barking (it is trash day). Even the squirrels are napping right now. Time to make some art. Whatever that looks like. Sure I’ll also be painting house things later and probably mopping floors and maybe washing bedding. Washing rugs definitely. And I have a book due in 5 days and another book I need to finish for Monday’s book club. And my weekend is FULL, so I’ll need to manage that today and tomorrow. It’s all good. I’m getting there, towards recovery. Really what teachers need in the summer…time to eat and pee when we need/want to, time that’s our own, a weekend without stress, no planning, no copying, no grading, just time to zone out. Because we spend 10 months a year on overwhelming time. And it’s a lot.

Decompress?

Note: I did NOT finish this yesterday in the airport, as may be obvious. I didn’t even finish it when I got home. It’s now Tuesday morning. It also did not process any of the photos, so I’m doing that now too.

Straight up, not sure I will finish this before I leave San Francisco. My flight was rerouted from SF down to San Jose, and it took some effort (and time) to get down here. More stress than I really need, but I got here in time, so all good. (The flight was almost empty, but this screaming 2-year-old girl with inept parents made up for that. That said, we got in mostly on time.)

I had a pretty quiet weekend with the girlchild (lots of World Cup games watched). I got to meet Margaret Fabrizio again (it’s been a while) and see her gallery space.

I might have to wait until I get home to load pictures; airport internet is too busy helping kids watch annoying videos without headphones 😂.

That is my piece above the fireplace; we traded a few years back.

I love that I see the negative space in these and not the clothing parts that make them. This is one of my favorites (I also totally see boobs and a weird stick figure).

I also really like this one.

After that, the girlchild and I went to Oakland/Berkeley. We watched one World Cup game, then shopped for thread for the girlchild’s new embroidery obsession…and fabric for me to make crazy pants. Then another game.

I embroidered through all the games.

Wait, here’s the night before after a drawing on the plane and a little embroidery in my room.

So you can compare.

Lots of bridges…

Actually maybe only one but in two versions.

Sunday was embroidery lessons and more soccer.

We practiced on a tea towel and then she went right into stitching her shirt.

Wait, this was after making a delightful breakfast from leftovers.

Both kids cook better than I do. She finished the shirt and wore it to dinner.

She actually was very fast and a very even stitcher. Good genetics.

I’m sitting her watching and listening to a woodpecker on the tree outside my office. I’ve been watching the birds and squirrels all morning. Very peaceful. I really need some major recovery from the school year. Trying to get there.

I didn’t go to dinner with her the last night (long story), but had a delightful meal in a fun little restaurant where I drew and read my book.

Good music. All the words were from the conversation next to me, which was a bit obnoxious.

This was the view out my AirBnb window.

I found this heart at the grocery store before I left…it said something about finding the heart and keeping it, so I took it to the airport and left it in the banana basket at the Pannikin. Hopefully some kid found it.

Here’s the insanely expensive fabrics I bought to make pants out of.

There’s an owl and a jaguar as well. The one on the right is delightfully chill. One crazy, one chill.

From the book I was reading…

Ideas for quilts.

Not as much art exposure on this trip…definitely more soccer in bars and at the girlchild’s place. But here was one mural on the walk home from dinner.

And a tableau the likes of which are only seen in a big city…

And more quilty ideas…

Plus these yarn paintings in the San Diego Airport, but so hard to photograph due to the lights.

I ran around doing errands yesterday, made it to pilates, then into the studio (sigh, relief).

I almost finished the 1000s. I was trying to remember if this had 1650 pieces or 1450. It’s the latter. If I had time today, I could finish, but I don’t. Haircut and meeting an acupuncturist…trying all the things to solve this foot problem without it taking another 3 years like last time. Not a fan.

This is so true. Watching them sing is a balm to the soul.

But humans are not always the best, are they.

Also, I did not know this…that people didn’t all have this.

Is it just silent in there? Weird.

OK. So I’m busy today. Hoping to get to ceramics in the afternoon; we’ll see how that works. Just added four more things to the to-do list this morning. Could do without that. Trying to explain to non-teachers how we play this game of catchup when we get to breaks, and that it’s INSANE how much stuff we put off because there just isn’t time. And they pile up, and this first week, I really just need to decompress, but I do it while running from one errand/appointment to another, like a crazy person. I need to leave soon because I don’t even know if I’m supposed to pay cash (new hair person) and I have like 7 dollars. Fun times. And it’s Tuesday and I normally post on Monday. Ah well. Welcome to summer.

Short Week…

Woo Wee what a week. Short week. Kicking my butt. I’m currently on crutches, just scheduled another brain MRI, waiting on podiatry, and dammit, I need to go take my antibiotics…hold on…be right back. Luckily, it’s Eid, so half the school has been gone…a few more came back yesterday, and we’ll get a few more back today (and lose a few more because it’s Friday…certainly some kids are NOT gone for Eid, just based on their last names). A couple of kids I think believe school is already done, because I haven’t seen them in two weeks. Fun times. I wonder how they function as adults sometimes. I hope they figure it out…and I know sometimes it’s parents making those lovely decisions. Sigh.

Anyway, to summarize, on antibiotics for a UTI (haven’t had one of those since I was pregnant with one of the kids who are now late 20s, early 30s), then woke up in the middle of the night unable to put weight on my left foot (probably a really bad flareup of plantar fasciitis; haven’t had that for 20+ years)…here’s my cankle at urgent care Wednesday evening…

I don’t think it ever got swollen when I had it before. Not like that. That warranted crutches. Probably need a boot…found my old one and it’s definitely very worn and has way too much velcro and padding. Sigh. Acupuncture? Frozen bottle of water? Tennis ball? IYKYK.

Also, Wednesday morning, I had this weird visual disturbance (weirder than the one I’ve had for two years now) and ended up on the line with the nurse triage, who originally said go to the ER, but then the symptoms stopped, so she said, uh, contact the neuro-opthalmologist you saw before, so I emailed. Got to work, got a call from my primary doc telling me to go to the ER until I told her symptoms were gone and I’d contacted the eye doc. Eye doc called during Period 1 and scheduled me for the end of the day, so I went for 90 minutes of testing to find out I had a typical migraine aura without the headache (damn lucky there) and the retinas were still fine and there were no weird things that weren’t already weird in there. Then down to urgent care for the crutches (x-rays show bone spurs…woo! I think it’s the other foot though, different from 20+ years ago). MY GODDESS. CAN WE JUST NOT. Apparently my body is ready for summer break; it’s gonna take me out for the last few weeks. Dudes, we have 2 1/2 more weeks…14 days of actual school, 4 of those are not teaching days. I just need to be able to walk and make art and see. And pee when I need to. (UTIs are common for teachers…I’ve been lucky).

The foot was better yesterday. This morning was a little hinky, but I’m sure being on crutches to get to the bathroom is OK (really rather not, y’all. Really rather not.).

Tuesday night, I traced. The foot wasn’t as bad Tuesday night and I have a pad I stand on and I really lean on the light table when I’m tracing anyway, so very little weight on the foot.

I iced and elevated for 2 hours before that. I wanted to go to ceramics but there was no way I was getting my 25-pound sculpture off the shelf and limping over to the table with it. The Man just wants me to rest nonstop and I can’t deal with that.

Wednesday, I spent 3.5 hours at the doc, between urgent care and eye doc, so I was in a lot of pain and exhausted. Iced, elevated, honestly cried a little, very frustrated. Eventually cut these out because standing? Not so much.

Scribble was so helpful.

Honestly, I moped for about 2 hours and then I’m like, what CAN I do? I can cut out all the stuff I’ve already traced and get a head start on that, tried to have a good attitude, took pain meds, went to bed, and it was better the next day. Took pain meds all day…stayed off my feet (watching student presentations)…and I was able to trace last night.

I’ve made it halfway through the 1100s. Yes, there are over 1400. But hoping to be done this weekend. Slight slowdown due to stupid body making demands.

I also worked on this, the first flower of 16 in the border of Homegrown (Sue Spargo).

I’ll be done in 2035. Maybe.

I got this from the doc’s office (on top of all the other stuff).

That’s mostly because of my mom’s breast cancer (which is fully in remission). But you know, I breastfed my two kids for a total of about 3.5 years, and I want to know what my discount is for that…because they always said it would reduce your chances of breast cancer. But this damn risk assessment model doesn’t give a shit about that. Annoying. I want my credits.

And guys, here’s my residency location from another view.

Oh man, can’t wait. I’m in the smaller cabin on the left in the middle. That’s a dock on the left by that tree. There’s a person sitting on it. Can you see me sitting there? I fucking can.

Also, I’d be there, but the crutches are slowing me down. It’s fine. I can handle it. Today, we are hopefully getting most of the presentations done (in my rolling chair)…solar system, planets, gravity, mass. Then home to ice and elevate and then trace some more. All day tomorrow hopefully…canceling pilates again (sigh). Maybe. Grading stuff. That will go away soon too. Never too soon. And it’s Friday, so that’s a relief. Short weeks aren’t necessarily easier.

Tracing Things…

I’m supposed to be dressing like the 80s today…you know, neon, leg warmers, big hair…but I didn’t dress like that in the 80s. I was thrift shop, sewed it myself, leaning toward suburban punk. I don’t own 80s wear. So I’m wearing a Keith Haring shirt to commemorate all those who died of AIDS in the 80s…also wearing red, to protest my school district’s refusal to bargain. Fun day. They’re doing a Field Day instead of a staff meeting, because apparently we’re stressed and very busy and competition helps with that. The end of school is always such a crazy mess…this isn’t helping.

I dropped three quilts off for photography yesterday. I’m entering a show with them; we’ll see if they get in. I started tracing the next big one onto Wonder Under, but before I did that, I traced this little one that needs to go in a ceramic piece.

It won’t take long to make this little one.

I finished drawing the new big one Friday night…

I think I actually added stuff after this…

Oh yeah, a crow or two and some body bags.

I numbered it Saturday night…I thought it was around 1300 pieces, but no.

1454 pieces, assuming I didn’t miss any or double number things. I’ve done both.

Last night, I started tracing…

Exciting for Scribble apparently. I had to move her off the Wonder Under a few thousand times.

Barely started. A million pieces to go.

My piece for Soul Stories: Threads of Existence is at the New England Quilt Museum in Lowell, MA. It’s been there since mid-April, but they had the ‘opening’ this last weekend.

Mine is the blue one on the left. There’s some amazing work in this show. It will travel to Birmingham, England, in August.

Besides art, I ran a lot of errands this weekend. Fun times. Shit that needs to happen. Some of it was fabric-related. I did finally start stitching the border flowers on Sue Spargo’s Homegrown. It’s all sewn together, so it’s big and not great for taking to meetings.

It’ll take me a while to finish this.

The little dog and I hiked on Saturday. The weather was lovely.

The rattlesnake was not. It didn’t even warn us until after it had moved back into the brush.

I did pick up the dog. His eyesight isn’t great and I didn’t want him lunging after the snake anyway.

The baby owls are out and flying around the neighborhood (sorry for the noise, y’all).

Much faster getting out and about than last year’s only, who hung around for weeks. I think this is still their homebase though.

I obsessively check the weather where my residency will be. Not sure why. Planning anxiety. I did order a bunch of stuff for the trip over the weekend. But look at the 15th.

Somewhat disturbing. Otherwise, the weather is not a lot different than here a lot of the time. A little colder, but it’s over 4000 feet in elevation. So that’s why. Summer will be warm.

Simba is irritable that Bowie is in his spot. Bowie is actually in MY spot and I am in Simba’s spot.

Whatever works.

Here’s a plan for the day…and the world apparently.

And here’s another way-too-real message…

Followed by this one, for San Diego and the rest of the world.

Way too real.

OK. Today. Teaching the last of evolution before the state science test on Wednesday (math is tomorrow). Then I’m probably missing the field day for an eye checkup. Still getting flashing lights in the right eye, over a year after vitreous humor detached. Then hopefully ceramics? And some stitching and grading (not in that order) and tracing. Getting close to the end of this year…that’s a good thing. They don’t seem to be getting easier. The adult part…the kids are fine (well, as fine as they’ve ever been…they should put their phones down more often). Gonna need more caffeine to get through it all.