The Sooner The Better

Moving on. Yes. I’m still pissed. And sad. And frustrated. No, I still don’t know if my quilt will go to the two remaining AQS QuiltWeek shows in Chattanooga and Des Moines.

The thing is, I’ve been censored before for stuff that’s actually THERE, but not hallucinations. That’s what makes this even more frustrating. It’s just not there.

But I officially start the new school year today, so my life is no longer my own (really, it never is…but it feels more so during the summer). And I still have a major quilt to finish fairly soon (no penises in that one, although there are two males…and two uteri). I spent most of the weekend cutting out Wonder Under…

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I’m about 7 1/2 hours in. I was convinced last night that I only had one more yard to cut out (of about 8, I think there were 8)…I was wrong…

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Two yards. So I probably won’t finish tonight either. Or maybe I’ll finish cutting, but I still need to sort and then I’ll move on to picking fabrics.

The pile of cut-out stuff is there, growing.

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This is a smaller and less complicated quilt than the last one, but it’s still got over 1200 pieces. So it’s gonna take some time…time I really don’t have.

Thanks for all the positive comments and energy you’re sending my way. I meant to link to Tanya’s article as well yesterday, and think I forgot…she wrote a great article here…after writing a great article about censorship, including me and Randall Cook and Annabel Rainbow, as well as some others. Censorship is rampant in art, especially if you live in certain parts of the country…that slips over into art quilts as well. Really, I just want to live in a world where the people who are trying to control me and my work and my uterus and all that other crap would just go monitor themselves and stop trying to spread it out toward people who want nothing to do with it. And I guess I’m a total idealist because I really do believe humans can get there (maybe we need alien assistance?). The sooner the better.

So Cloudy My Decisions*

Girlchild is officially on her way back to school, which makes me sad. But I know she will do good things there, and probably some bad things too, and maybe save the world, or maybe not, but it’s where she’s supposed to be. Boychild leaves later this week. It’ll be lonely here soon (although with all the furry beasts, it might be hard to feel that way).

I finished tracing the Wonder Under yesterday for the newest quilt…in four days flat. It took 15 hours and 40 minutes…not bad. Yes, I basically spent two full days JUST doing that (and watching about 17 episodes of weird TV).

So now I have to cut all this out. I was up early for the trip to the airport, so I think I’ll sit and do that for a while. Cut things out. Because I’m tired. Might need a nap later.

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It’s not a small amount of Wonder Under…like 7 yards? Lots of big pieces though…not a lot of tiny pieces like the last one. I’m hoping it goes quicker.

I really have no brain at the moment.

I think the hardest part for the kids is leaving all the animals behind.

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I don’t think the animals like that part either…fewer humans to sit on and harass.

Anyway. It’s the last weekend of summer and I’m exhausted. I’m gonna do some stuff with scissors and probably nap and then hopefully do some other not-school stuff. Like human life stuff.

*Knux, Dead World

It Don’t Feel Right*

So I think yesterday was one of the most productive art days all summer. Sad that today is the last DAY of summer. And I’ll be at school for the whole morning. Oh well. At least I know I can still do those monster days. (because I’ll be doing lots of them this year…)

What did I do? I traced Wonder Under…for HOURS.

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The cats love this part of the project. I personally do not so much love their involvement, since it is mostly their fluffy butts that are involved.

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Sometimes I have to push or pull them, or pull things out from under them.

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So while I’m being thankful that this cat is still alive, I’m also cursing her existence. Or at least her existence on the light table.

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She might be cursing me a bit as well.

Really, I spent a lot of time with the cats yesterday. Wonder Under is a fascinating thing. Plus light emanating from tables. Which might be a thing if it were cold out, but it’s not. I have a fan pointed at the light table, and they don’t generally like fans. Except for yesterday. Yesterday fans seemed OK.

So did laundry baskets…

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And really, just staring at Mom on a regular basis and meowing plaintively because I am so obviously ignoring their asses.

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I traced for over 7 hours yesterday…I’m 8 1/2 hours in, I think. I’m in the high 600s, so I’m only halfway. THAT is the part that sucks. That and the fact that I might run out of Wonder Under. Sigh.

I’m four yards in? I think?

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This one doesn’t have quite so many tiny pieces as the last one. And it has about 700 fewer pieces as well, which is a good thing. I might actually finish it in time.

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Which reminds me, I’m picking the others up from the photographer today. I think. After school. And then tracing for another (insert number of hours here).

Girlchild leaves tomorrow morning. Early. That’s a hard one.

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She’s leaving so early because she’s doing orientation for the incoming freshmen. It sucks that she’s not around to help the first few days of school for the first time in like 5 years. I can’t persuade the boychild to do it. Not sure I blame him.

OK. School first. Then art. Then family.

(Apparently Pandora has decided I need some rap to start the morning. She may be right…)

*The Roots, Don’t Feel Right

Trying to Relax…

Yesterday was the day I did all the errands I blew off for days. I’m not quite on vacation yet. Although I did stay up past 1 AM last night to finish a book, but I have to be honest…I’ve been known to do that during the school year on a work night, so it’s really not an indicator of relaxed Kathy. I’m not there yet, for sure. It usually takes a week or two past the last day. A week or two of not having to plan or type something out for school or put something on a website or email a parent…then maybe my brain lets go of some of that work tension and lets me sit and draw, sit and read, watch a movie without guilt, make art without squawking about grades.

So I’m negotiating that space right now…the part where I just want to make art and nothing else. The house does still need cleaning and purging, as always. There are projects all over the place, the boychild chipping away at some of them. It’s nice to have help with that.

I still don’t feel like I’ve slept enough. I need to make up for 10 months of too-little sleep. Sure, I’m never gonna catch up. I know that.

Anyway, progress is being made on the quilt. I set up for sorting yesterday…

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It took 30 minutes just to find enough bins. I have more; they’re just in use. So I had to be a bit creative. And then I found another pile of them, so that was lame. Seriously, there are 20 of them.

Well, 21 if you count the one holding all the pieces…it’s full. Of 1954 pieces (or whatever it really is, because sometimes I miss pieces, so I have a’s and b’s). I think I did pretty well numbering this piece though…

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It took 2 hours and 18 minutes JUST to sort the fuckers. I did take a break in the middle. It’s funny though…I would move to a different section of the table because the majority of the pieces I was dealing with were in that section, and I can’t reach ALL the boxes from any one position, and then all the pieces would belong in another section. Sigh.

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So there was lots of piling little tiny pieces up on my hand by their number and then carefully walking over there, without any wind so they wouldn’t all blow away. Kinda crazy. Also means no fan on…

And the smaller pieces did a really shitty job of holding the fusible. This is frustrating. I mean, it’s still easy enough to deal with these…I lay them out on a colored box lid, so I can see the shapes, and then when I have a piece with no fusible attached, I either match it to its fusible piece or I redraw it. I just wish I didn’t have to do this…that it would stay attached.

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Because that is not a small number of small pieces.

Today, though, today…I get to start one of my favorite parts of the quiltmaking process…the fabric choosing. Although I have to clean up first…that table is where I lay them out. So yeah. That’s a bit of time…just to find homes for all of it. There’s piles of fabric under all that too. I didn’t feel like dealing with that last night.

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Maybe with another cup of tea.

Meanwhile, Kitten stalks all the windows in the house for this every night. This is her most exciting moment…

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My ugly bathroom window…one of the three thousand lizards that climb my house every night (I don’t know why they do this…because the house is warm still?)…a cat who will now come in my bathroom every night looking for this guy. Because it happens once every 6 months.

This is the book I stayed up late to finish…

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Uprooted by Naomi Novik. It was good. I liked it. There were a couple things that threw me off, but it was well-written and you cared about the characters. The boychild is still trying to get me to read her naval dragon series, but I’m not really a fan of naval wars. This was for book club…not sure what I need to read next. I already read the September book club book…and I think August is on order with the library. So wait. I can read what I want? Seriously? Those piles of books all over the house? I can just pick one and read it? Huh. Wow. Must be vacation. Seriously, I spend the school year trying to be caught up on book club and reading the occasional thing in between. This is strange.

I think I like it.

OK. Need to clean. And drink more tea. So I can iron…and then hike tonight. Looking forward to that. Should probably check batteries in headlamps…because no way are we hiking in afternoon heat…temps drop at 6 PM. Sounds like a good time to start. Then approximately (based on the last big quilt) 23 hours of ironing fabrics…without school every day, I should be able to pound that out in about 2 or 3 days (ha. that’s funny.). Or not. Let’s say by the end of the weekend? Ya think? Maybe? I can always set a goal that I don’t meet. Yes. This is how I relax. By setting deadlines. Crazy ones. It’s OK. These are art deadlines. I can handle those.

Clearing My Mind…

So today we will apparently lose 10 degrees in temperature, which will be nice. I’m also done with the chunk of copyediting I got up front. I’m waiting to hear from them about whether it was acceptable and if I’ll get more, but meanwhile, I don’t just rest on my laurels…I’ve got quilts to make! Well, after I get my eyes checked and run the 17 errands I didn’t run over the weekend, because I didn’t have time. But also, I finished cutting out all the Wonder Under pieces…

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There’s Midnight inspecting them. That box is full of pieces, 1900+ of them. The Wonder Under is not great on some of the small pieces, but I’ve dealt with that before. I can retrace or match tiny pieces of WU paper with tiny pieces of WU fusible. Both work. It took 13 hours to cut them all out, so a little less than I thought. I suspect the next phase, ironing onto fabric, will take 20 hours at least. And I need to straighten up in the studio first so I have room to do that.

So once I’m done with errands, I sort pieces, which will take an hour plus, and then clean up, and oh shit. I don’t have a background. Hmm. Crap. I hadn’t even thought of that. I know I have some big pieces that might work…or do I? I have one 2-yard piece. That’s not big enough. OK. It’s a good thing I started writing this before I left…I need a background.

This was while editing yesterday…he’s sitting on the chair behind me…

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I’m pretty sure he can’t get up there by himself.

Anyway, I’m hoping today is artistically successful…because I’ve been missing it and don’t want to get too far behind. Work is good for paying for college, but it’s not necessarily good for clearing my mind. And that’s an important part of the summer.

Managing the Heat…

So it’s not just warm. It’s hot. I’m managing with lots of ice water and fans on my body. I’d walk around naked, but the kids are here. Plus clothing sops up some of the sweat. (Ways to keep your neighbors away…and UPS…and the Jehovah’s)

I worked a good chunk of yesterday, copyediting, but also got close to done on the Wonder Under, which is good. I’m hoping to finish cutting today and then sort them, so maybe I can start ironing tomorrow, because it makes sense to wield a burning-hot device when the sun itself is trying to set me on fire. No really, it’s supposed to be like 8 degrees cooler tomorrow, so that’s almost bearable. Those 8 degrees are key. Girlchild has run off to the beach, and boychild is hunkered down under his fan in his room. We won’t be hiking or running or even venturing outside if we can help it. Well. I want to go to the gym. But it’s air-conditioned. Mostly because I want to read my book and I can’t do that right now without doing something else at the same time. I gots too much to do. (sigh. vacation.)

The box is almost full…

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I am halfway through the second-to-last yard, and the last yard is not filled up…and it’s mostly big pieces.

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I’ve done almost 11 hours of cutting so far…

Last night, girlchild made an awesome Father’s Day dinner for her grandpa and her dad. Taco bar!

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Perfectly followed by cookie ice-cream sandwiches. Mine were storebought (because I don’t eat chocolate)…they had handmade chocolate chip cookies.

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There were lots of dog moments, as always…

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That dog isn’t spoiled at all.

We talked about the front yard and how to prepare it for possible planting in the fall or winter. I drew this before I went to bed, but I don’t like it…

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So I’ll try again. But we are thinking about what to do next out there. Free labor…

The cats finally came back out of their hideyholes, now that Katie has gone back to her parents…

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Plus where there were people, there were fans. So that was a good thing for the furry beasts.

I have two more chapters to finish up today, plus gym time…and a few errands, but hopefully finishing up Wonder Under as well. It’s hot, so I can’t be expected to do much. I could go sit in my classroom (it’s air-conditioned…during the summer? I don’t know. I hope not.). But probably I’ll stay here in the oven that is my house. Drinking ice water. And hot tea. Just to confuse my brain. At least I don’t have a fur coat…managing the heat sucks.

Warm…

It’s warm here in my part of town, hovering around 100 degrees, although they say the “real feel,” which is the sweat dripping down my back, is 110 degrees. Ugh. Love summer out here in non-air-conditioned land. All the animals are flat and splayed out. I don’t blame them.

I worked most of yesterday, and will continue that today, as much as I can…waiting on a decision between style guide and opinions. Apparently not everyone works all weekend. Shocking!

I got no Wonder Under done yesterday, although I could have…but I decided to draw instead. I was driving and this drawing slammed full-force into my brain. You could almost feel the impact. I have a couple/several shows coming up that I need to make work for this summer, and so they are always floating up there in the netherwhere that fills my brain, percolating in a smelly corner, fires fanned by crazy-ass artistic fairies who form images and then squish them together until they are almost fully formed. So I drew. And this isn’t really it…this is the practice drawing…

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For one thing, the real one needs to be big, and this is the 9×12″ sketchbook. So I’ll do it again and stretch it out. I think the largest figure does actually need a head. And more of a torso. And something in the background. Maybe. But it’s the first official drawing of Summer 2016. So that’s cool.

I drew it while watching the second of the Somm movies about wine sommeliers and winemaking. I liked the first one better.

So here was my view most of yesterday (and continuing into today…).

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As time went on, the cat got longer and more into fondling the keyboard and the mouse…not helpful. Right now, she’s covering the number pad and blocking half of the mousepad and trying to whack my hand every time I touch the mouse. Must be warm…

Boychild decided to teach Simba about the pool…Calli already knows how to cool herself off…as is apparent…

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Simba was not thrilled, but did know how to doggy paddle (apparently some don’t). But then got out and rubbed his entire body in dirt. So he got his first bath from us right after. Apparently that was also traumatic. And exhausting.

The heat certainly does suck energy out of you. OK. Back to work. I will resurface for Father’s Day dinner and then see if I can get some of that Wonder Under done, despite the heat and the workload. I can’t actually finish the editing without a definitive answer, so that’s OK. It’s good to have an excuse not to work all night.

And maybe I’ll get another drawing in there too…

Not Vacationing…

Here’s one of those life mysteries: Cat starts to puke, you recognize that hurk hurk movement, you move her off the carpet and onto the tile, a nice big open spot, and then right before she hurls, she scuttles over and throws up ON something that just happened to be on the floor. What is that about?

So yeah, I know you’re thinking, “Oh good, she’s on summer vacation, she can draw and relax and we’ll see some great art coming out of her,” but I got the copyediting job, so I’m working. Like monster hours. My brain is not happy with me. My art brain even less so. I explain the whole dilemma of money in, money out, how much college is gonna cost. Nope. They don’t care.

I don’t blame them really. It’s been a rough year and I’m not giving them a break yet. I can’t. I’m not going to make it through the year if I don’t do more paying work. It’s frustrating, but it’s reality. Then ironically, because I was able to make more this year, they’ll assume I can make it again next year. Sigh.

Anyway, I’m glad to have the extra work. Really. Yesterday, I checked out of my classroom, watched the girl get her hair done while cutting out Wonder Under, and then worked for a good chunk of the afternoon. I gave myself a break at night, because I was pretty tired and didn’t think copyediting was a good plan, so now this morning, I’m panicked about how much I need to get done today and tomorrow. Not just copyediting either…I still have errands to run. Think I’m going to get those kids up and out for that.

So my room…was easy to straighten up, for some reason. I guess I get better every year?

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Everything had to be put away and locked up, or consolidated on counters. There’s some argument in the district that the walls should be empty. I’m gonna kick someone’s butt if they come after me on that. My walls are like that because I can’t stand plain walls…in my house, at school, at other people’s houses. Put stuff up! Give me something to look at. Especially if I’m staring at a computer screen for hours…I need somewhere more interesting on which to rest my poor eyes.

Girlchild had her hair done…looks like an alien here…

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And I got about 4 hours of cutting done between the hair appointment and my brain deadness in the evening. The box is getting full. I think I have three plus yards cut out at this point?

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So more than halfway through…9 hours and a bit. So yeah. I can do more tomorrow at Father’s Day dinner…because I can’t copyedit then. Maybe tonight. We’ll see. I still want to be getting this done, but I have a significant deadline on the copyediting. I’d rather be ahead on that and then take a break before the next batch of chapters comes in.

I’ve had 17 people ask me if I’m going anywhere this summer. I have no plans. I’d love to have plans. I don’t know how people afford these things honestly (laughing there). I’ll make an effort to go away for a few days I think, but not quite yet.

This is the view for the next few days. Music on…calendar to stare at…actually, the calendar to the left is much nicer for staring…it’s a Sue Spargo one. Lots of beautiful embroidery detail.

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Like I said, get through the work as quickly and efficiently as possible to get some free time. Focused. Not vacationing. Yet.

It May Take Me a Few Days…

Someone just texted me that phrase “cold hard facts are hard to ignore” as I told her the results of a particularly long and difficult email exchange with a parent (school ain’t over ’til the parent believes we can’t change any grades). But my editor brain wants to change one of the hard’s to difficult or something else, because they’re too close together. Ironically, although I’m on vacation, I just bid on a copyediting job that would start today and go hard and fast until some time next week. So much for rest and relaxation, eh? But I have to find some way to pay those college bills. At least the book is not about school (although it appears to be a textbook of sorts). I’ll know later today if I got it. That’s a tough one, because although I need the work, I really also need time OFF.

Oh well. This is how it rolls. So I had quilt class last night, after teacher last-day party and counseling, and I didn’t feel well, so we basically sat and talked, which I think teachers need to do on the last day of school, spill it all so you don’t have to take it home with you. And I got nothing done. Until I got home and felt better with a cup of tea inside me, and then managed to spend an hour or so cutting out tiny pieces of Wonder Under.

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I don’t even think I’ve cut out 2 full pieces yet of the 6. Yeah, I’m a little behind. What can I do? I’ll be a lot behind if I get the copyediting job. I just checked…I’ve been trimming Wonder Under for just under 5 hours and I barely have 2 yards done, so based on that, the estimate I made earlier of 15 hours seems pretty accurate.

I came out of the office at some point to this…

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Yes, she has two animals ON her and another very close. And she doesn’t seem to mind.

Really it’s impossible NOT to have multiple animals on you at the moment.

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He’s a very lovey dog. Here the boychild has whispered him to sleep…

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This dog is good baby experience. He’s freakin’ hyper all over the place, then gets cranky, then wants to bite all your parts, and then falls asleep because you’re rubbing his belly.

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Anyway. Today is technically my first day of summer (yay!), so I should use it wisely. Although honestly, I still need to go to school to check out and then watch the girlchild get her hair dyed and cut (thought about trying to cut out Wonder Under there, but it’s really not set up for it), then I have something to do tonight. And if I get the job, I’ll be copyediting all afternoon. Maybe I can schedule drawing breaks. Or nap breaks, because I’m still exhausted. Sitting on the deck breaks. Reading my book breaks. Holy shit I really need a break breaks.

Because I can’t even think coherently at the moment and I just posted about five puppy pictures, proof that I have no working brain. OK, off to work to figure out if my room is clean enough, bring my plants home so I can kill them with neglect here, and hand my computer over so they can try to make it work better.

It may take me a few days to feel like I’m on vacation.

I Got This…

It’s the last day of school. Can you hear the party going off in my head? I’ve spent the last three days thinking today would never come. Silly really. It always does. My room’s not ready. I’m already scheduling family hikes…well, after the crazy heat wave comes through.

I got nothing done last night…well, except dinner and a card game…Gloom…where you try to make all the other families happy and yours miserable.

After playing (and almost winning the second round), I was so tired I couldn’t do much at all. I pulled the scissors and Wonder Under towards me on the couch and then just sat there. I made a cup of tea at one point, and still, just sat there. I love it when my body gives me those obvious clues that I need rest and recovery and relaxation.

I’m listening. I am. I just can’t do that yet. Some time on Friday maybe? Certainly it was nice to come home yesterday and not have to really think about school. That’s the part I love best about summer break. School is off my mind. Until they email me about something I have to deal with. Seems like one of the trainings I thought I might have to do over the summer is a webinar. Oh please please…don’t make us all meet in a room to watch a webinar. Let me do it on my own. (They don’t trust us to do it)

So a short summary of summer art projects: one small commissioned owl, one giant-ass time-consuming Earth Mother, two largish new projects that only barely exist as ideas (these aren’t due until late Fall, which helps), one coloring book page AND managing that project, one nightstand collaboration, one oldie but goodie that just needs quilting and binding. I think that’s it. No minor thing, all that.

I would hope to have the big one and the owl done in July, which means I need to start drawing the other two. Which is FINE, because I’ve been missing drawing like crazy. I’m dreaming of sitting on the deck with a cup of tea and some music, drawing like a crazy woman. First coloring-book meeting is next week. Nightstand starts after the 22nd. It’s all good. I got this.