Oh Please Stay*

Crazy weekend. Just absolutely buried in work and barely finished anything. Whole lot of wishful thinking. I had 8 assignments to grade. Now I have 7. OK, that’s an LOL moment. It’s not like I didn’t do anything. I now have new tires, I have the paper I need for a class assignment on Thursday, there’s enough cat food for the next few weeks, I made lunches for the week, and I have a room full of camping equipment…amusingly, for only 3 nights of camping, but with an injection of rain to the mix, so that makes life more complicated. I remember why I planned to leave on the first day of break, instead of giving myself a day to get acclimated and packed, but right now, it just seems like crazy.

Hopefully I’ll get more organized as the week goes on.

The weeds on my property are taking over the world, although this is a very nice picture because of the flowers, and you can’t really tell that all the greenery behind them is weed city.

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I have this goal of filling my two greenery trashcans with weeds every week, so I’ll be done in 2019 or so, but I can’t even manage that some weeks. I did do it yesterday though. Fought the stingy plants (I had gloves, but needed long sleeves and it was too hot for that). I’m unlikely to get another two trashcans filled before I leave. Oh well.

The boychild is hiking over HIS break…he sent me maps, and being his mom, yesterday I printed them out and tried to map out where he would be each night. Like I know what any of this looks like.

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It makes me feel better anyway.

Two nights of stitching on this…the orange that is in the center of the flowers at the top-ish right, then continues in straight stitches around the cretan stitch. Then the flowers in dark red on the right near the bottom. One unfinished…ran out of thread.

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Then I did all those damn bullion knots on Saturday night.

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So the one goal I absolutely wanted to reach over the weekend was cutting all the Wonder Under out. I was FaceTiming the girlchild last night and cutting stuff out when I thought, I wonder when the financial aid deadline is? And I’m not in charge of hers, and I can’t fill out MY part until her dad fills HIS part out, and he had just finished…I only knew because girlchild forwarded me the part she got and asked about it. I thought I had a while. Turns out I didn’t. Crap. So I dropped everything and came in here and finished my part. At about 1 AM. Yeah. Well. I didn’t even know he was done until Friday…so it’s not like I procrastinated a lot. We’ll see.

Hence the unfinishedness of the cutting out, dammit. Sigh.

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I have this week and the week after next basically to get this quilt done. Crikey. I know. Well. We’ll see.

Meanwhile, I missed the opening of the new California Fibers’ show, Time, which opened at the Blackboard Gallery, at Studio Channel Islands. I’ll make it to the show next Friday…it was just too far to go this last weekend.

This is co-artist in the show Lynne Hodgman, closely inspecting my work Holding It All In during installation.

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And the cover picture from the Studio Channel Islands Facebook page…with my work, Linda Anderson’s quilt in the background, and Ashley Blalock’s crocheted piece on the left.

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It looks like an awesome space. I do have another piece in the show as well.

Anyway, now I’m late for school as well. Auspicious start to the week. Late to everything. Sigh. Two-hour staff meeting as well.

*STRFKR, Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second

Lookin’ Back and the Sky Is Burning*

Well it’s a beautiful April morning in Southern California…not too hot, a little breezy, nice blue skies. A contrast to the girlchild’s snow today…and who knows what the boychild is seeing, because he’s backpacking for a week over Spring Break. So yes. Yes. I will be worrying about him from now until he texts me that he’s home late next week. Parenting is fun y’all. He’s either doing 93 miles or 118. Makes me feel like an underachiever, for sure. I’m looking at some 5-mile hikes on my trip, maybe. We’ll see. Maybe a bike ride. Then again, I don’t need to worry about carrying my own food and water. I have a car. And a credit card. I’ll be fine. Maybe a bit damp, but fine.

Today though. Today is stress city. Gotta get it all done. But my brain is headachey fuzz. Sleep is just a mess. Plus I went to bed late because I was trying to get Wonder Under cut out. Yeah. That’s my fault. I know. But that was the end of the day.

The old lady, Calli, resting in the long grass. This explains all the crap I have to pick out of her fur after she’s been at the ex’s house. She’s on arthritis meds and is doing better.

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She likes a few squirts of salmon oil on her food as well. Blech. But if it helps…I’m OK with that.

I came home from work after a clusterfuck of a day…not the kids (although some are not fully present mentally, for sure), but adults who can’t adult. And having to work with them anyway. So that’s always fun. I will have to spend part of my weekend looking up more science stuff to buy, but that’s not hard…just time-consuming. When I got home, Pandora was playing. I always stop it when I leave, plus it will stop eventually because it gets butthurt that I’m not listening. Kitten had this sort of shocked look on her face, so I suspect she started it. Apparently she was in the mood for The Smiths.

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Makes sense. Cats are moody bitches.

Later, I saw this beer. And it reminded me of how I draw.

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Although much simpler. I do like the jelly beans on the shirt though, and the zigzaggy tongue. Gonna have to appropriate that.

Off to gaming, where I probably almost died because I was hanging with one of the characters that I don’t usually hang with, because my protector couldn’t make it over the wall. And he doesn’t care if he dies in the game. Maybe I don’t either. I’d just inhabit another crazy female dwarven engineer. There were beating hearts in a chest and a smell of rotting flesh, but we made it out alive. I stitch while we play because it’s Friday night and I’m tired and if I stitch, I don’t fall asleep. It’s weird, that, because I’m fairly sure I’m still tired, but the stitching keeps enough of my brain activated that I stay awake. It’s fucking effective.

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That damn tree has 6 tiny bullion knots around every brown spot. I’ve counted the number of spots three times and got a different answer every time, so I’m going to pick 31 spots. 31 x 6 = 186 bullions just on that fucking tree. I’m really good at bullions now. Expect to see me working on those for a while.

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Although I did get a bunch done last night. We were playing for a long time though. And I finished the couching around the tree as well. Plus they mansplained hot flashes for me. And that was funny. So funny I had a hot flash.

Then I came home and it was late and I was tired, so in typical Kathy fashion, I made a plan to keep working…I cut out another yard of Wonder Under…so that’s only 1 1/2 yards to go. I can do that today (can I?). I will do that today. Somehow.

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While I was cutting shit out, there was an earthquake that perhaps only 5 of us in San Diego felt…I personally thought a truck had slammed into my house, and the dog and cat near me were both minorly perturbed by it. Damn, it was small…

For what I felt. Not damn, I wish it were bigger. I’m OK with NOT feeling big earthquakes after growing up in LA. I just finished teaching about earthquakes too…I wonder if my students felt it.

So this is Simba when it’s daylight. He likes this window because he can see ALL the things.

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Anyway, my weekend post-it note is full of crap to do. First I need more tea and to give up and take meds for the headache, then eat something because my stomach is growling, and then beat the crap out of this list, to the best of my ability. Yuck. Hopefully tonight will have some good food, good company, and maybe some sketchbook time. I need that. I think I missed a deadline too…dammit. Oh well. Moving on. I really really need Spring Break.

*Beck, Go It Alone

Running Over the Same Old Ground*

It’s actually Thursday night right now. It won’t be when I finish this, but I’m trying really really hard to procrastinate myself through the last of the projects I have to grade. It’s killing me reading/watching them. But I have to do it. I just took a quick break to do stuff, and was skimming the first page or so of the book I’m supposed to be reading for the next book club meeting…the one I’m not even going to, because I’ll be camping in the rain and cold. I’m reading it anyway. And the cover looks like this…

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So I almost didn’t check it out, just because of that, but then I started reading. And I’m dying. If it continues like this, I’ll read all of them. Here’s a line: “After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.” Yeah. This wench can write.

It’s morning now. I totally forgot I wrote that last night, until it popped up on the screen. Oh yeah. I was trying to get through the grading. So the book is still pretty entertaining, but light. I guess that makes up for the one for May, which I’ve already read, which was pretty dark and heavy. I feel like all I read at the moment are book club books…ironically, because I hardly ever get to go to book club. It means I don’t have to make a decision about what to read next. There’s only 264 books in my to-read list on Goodreads. Hard to choose.

But the plus is that I finished grading THAT project. I now only have 8 things to grade. But we also managed to get the science budget done yesterday (two days late on our schedule)…which was a monster this year. Pro: We got a windfall, never happens. Con: We had to spend it quickly. On top of dealing with everything else. Note: We’re not the problem, but we have to manage those who are. It’s been a stressful few weeks. But we’ll have a significant stash of equipment and materials for next year (finally!) to teach with, which will be nice. It will probably never happen again, but for now, it looks good.

This is what grading has been looking like…with Kitten lurking behind the monitor.

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Which is significantly better than when she stands in front of it.

So I skipped Thursday on this…was so focused on finishing the tracing that I just didn’t do it. So I did two night’s worth last night, both in that bottom section. I did more green leaves under Prosper and around the blue squares…and then added the red flowers and lines.

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I’m debating taking it with me on break…I think I should, just so I don’t have to do 8 days’ worth when I get back. But it seems silly to waste packing space on something I’ll barely work on. Huh. Well. We’ll see.

Then I started cutting out Wonder Under…which went pretty damn fast. I did one yard in less than an hour…

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And it was the water one (well, there’s two water ones), so convoluted twisty bits. Only 2 1/2 yards to go. I can’t take it to gaming tonight though. So hopefully I will still be awake when I get home. I’d like to get another hour in tonight…at least. I really want to be ironing to fabric on Sunday. So I need to think about a backing too.

I have so much crap to get through this weekend…grading, the last bit on my taxes (the hard, time-consuming part), the girlchild’s financial aid, because her dad finally finished his part…I’m panicking. Plus this quilt. Yeah.

Unlike this beast. No panic there.

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Looks a little psychotic, but totally relaxed. I wish I were a dog. Especially today…on a Friday when the kids are already wiggy as hell, and we still have another week until Spring Break. Ugh. Today is not a low-maintenance day.

But it is a Friday.

*Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here

Don’t Know What It Means…*

Tired this morning. Puppy has been Mr. Barks-a-Lot the last two nights. Not sure what living creature is offending him now…sometimes when he’s barking out the window I think he must be able to see eddies in the wind that none of us can see. Or ghosts. Or he hears dogs barking five miles away and they are warning of impending tsunamis…now he’s got the big one barking too. For nothing, as far as I can see.

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Maybe he’d bark less if he didn’t have all day to sleep. I don’t have this luxury, unfortunately. It’s not all his fault…some neighbor was making noise before 6:30 as well. Sometimes I think I need a padded bedroom, against noise and light and all intrusions. Certainly I’m sure someone’s designed it better than mine. Some noise catcher that grabs unnecessary dog barks out of the air and turns them into something else.

Yesterday we started a new unit, the last one besides the sex ed unit we teach at the end of the year. I kinda went overboard on the cover page. And I still need to color it.

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Which should be less of a priority than grading probably (but is more fun).

Came home and ate and watched Walking Dead with my favorite couchmates…although I was not the lap of choice for once…dog nose being warmed by cat.

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They like each other.

OK, I added some pink to the blue squares at the bottom…straight stitches, lazy daisies, fly stitches.

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They look a little like vulvas. Seems appropriate. There’s too much blue and pink at the bottom…need to fix that.

Then I had a choice. Grade or trace? I really want to hit this deadline. Yes, I still have to grade. I just didn’t have it in me yesterday. I did enter a show, so it was already a late start. I don’t like grading after 9 PM. So I traced…for a long time. In the dark background, you can see puppy…waiting for me to sit with him.

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I got to piece 613, which is the neck. So all I had left was neck, head, and crown of fire (don’t ask), which was about 84 pieces. But it was 12:15 AM. And finishing would have been another hour. And that’s not responsible.

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Aargh. So I guess I’ll have to try and finish tonight…although I am going to see Neil Gaiman tonight.

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Definitely a worthwhile way to spend my time…but it’s hard to walk away from all the crap that needs doing. Workaholic. Yes. So grade if I have time, but definitely finish tracing. Then tomorrow is cutting…schedule is tight. But if I get the whole mess ironed down before we leave on vacation, I could take the cutting task with me. Maybe. I’m a little worried about this timeline, straight up.

*Nirvana, In Bloom

What You Gave to Me the Day I Wandered*

Spring Break must be close…I made my trip travel list last night…at least the first version of it. I’ll have to borrow some stuff off my dad, who has all the camping equipment in the world. I’ll need a good book or two to read. I think I’ve actually finished everything that was on my Right Now list…waiting on two books from the library, maybe three. It’s OK…I’m not leaving this weekend. I have NINE whole days of school left before I’m allowed to leave. And in that time, I have 17 thousand things to grade, my taxes to finish, a quilt to get significantly closer to done, and if I look too closely at the house and yard around me, I’ll persuade myself that I shouldn’t take time off.

Yeah. Well. I’m gonna need to take some time. I’m still grading the climate projects. It’s hurting less, because I’m almost done…although trying to watch the videos when Kitten decides she wants my attention and stands in front of the screen is a pain in the ass. I have 18 left. Well, I SHOULD have 18 left, but I’m betting some of those kids didn’t do the video, so that’s much faster to grade, although hard on them.

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That’s the hardest part of creating curriculum…seeing how much work you’re going to have to do before next year so you can get more of what you wanted out of them. I’m trying to be smart and take notes…maybe even start rewriting rubrics now. Maybe.

So I was sitting here writing, listening to the pool motor straining, thinking…what the hell? The water level is high enough. So something’s caught in the basket…go out there. Sure enough. Well that explains the skunk smell. Poor thing…I do like wildlife, even when it smells bad. I’ve pulled possums and gophers out of there before, but never a full-grown skunk. I always feel bad when that happens. Like I should have done something to protect them more. Sigh.

Um. Let’s see…oh yeah, I made boxes out of the triangles at the bottom and added a lazy daisy stitch, and then used up the rest of the thread in French knots, which I do a lot.

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While doing that, three of the four animals in the house came by to lie on me…you can’t see the black one, because I couldn’t get her in the picture as well. You should also be impressed by how my shirt (from school) matches the pajamas and socks I put on when I finally got home last night.

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I got up eventually (it was pretty late by then) and started tracing. I got into the water, which is always a pain in the ass to trace. Figuring out where stuff overlaps and drawing these wild pieces that are all loopy and swirly…can drive you a little bonkers.

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That’s what I get for drawing bathtubs full of water, right? I have not learned my lesson.

So I think I’m in the 400s…like 428 is next or something like that. So I have about 200 pieces to go…but the water ones take longer than normal pieces because they’re so complicated.

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I wanted to finish tracing water last night, just because it’s easier to keep in my head what is overlapping what if I do it all in one go…but then I looked at the clock and it was late. And then I couldn’t even go to sleep, so that sucked. My brain was ready to keep going. To the END! Yeah. Well. That’s the same brain that will get irritated by behavior today, so I have to manage it a bit.

My ex brought me a lemon…with the dog’s pills. She’s now on official arthritis meds, plus more anti-inflammatories, and higher doses of the joint meds she’s been on since she was little, plus some salmon oil. It’s a lot of stuff, but hopefully she’ll feel better.

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She’s obviously aging. Poor girl. I don’t know what to say about the lemon, except that I’m kind of impressed it kept growing, despite its obviously limiting circumstances. It smells very lemony.

So I don’t know if I’ll get through tracing all 200 pieces tonight…which is unfortunate, because I know I have stuff Wednesday night that will go late. And I want to get this thing to the next step. I wonder how hard and fast the next deadline actually is (I’ve been trying NOT to think that, but…it might need to slip a little). Yesterday was a lot of overwhelmedness…too many things to get started and done. A lot of those are still hanging over me today…but that’s kind of been this school year. You are overwhelmed and you will take it all in and breathe deep and then go hike somewhere to try to dispel the panic. Yeah. I could do with less of that. I’m feeling a bit like that lemon.

*The Proclaimers, I’m on My Way

But Forget It All, I Know I Will*

I spent a lot of time grading student assignments this weekend. I’d like to say I’m done, but I’m not. I think I have 23 to go…which sounds like a lot to the part of my brain that will have to watch all those videos. I’ll get through them, but I wanted to be done. I often want to be done with the work part so I can go on to the art part…a split in my life, when normal people plop down on the couch and watch some TV to wind down, I’m getting up to stand for the next two hours, tracing. Which is in fact what I did…eventually…

I did finish the other quilt; well, the binding anyway. I need to do some other stuff to it. I think. Photos will follow. It won’t be officially photographed until the end of April, with the other one, which doesn’t exist.

I’m reading this book that I’ll write about later…but I liked this quote in the frontmatter with regard to art…

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And that might have been what Marker referred to (haven’t seen the movie), but in the context of what I’m reading, it becomes much darker. I still like the quote though. More about my reading later…not today; got a parent meeting. I’m already behind and overwhelmed.

I drew this Saturday night while watching the band play…

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I had done a drawing back in January and had some false starts in the sketchbook, so I turned one of them into something.

Here’s another false start…

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We’ll see what I do with that.

I had to take a walk yesterday to clear my head after grading stuff. I was getting irritated. Getting outside and touring the neighborhood trashcans is always nice. (I actually do just look at plants and the sky…the dog is more interested in the trashcans.)

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Wildflowers abound.

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I skipped Saturday’s stitching…so I did two yesterday. I started a wacky bird to the right of the tree. It’s not done. And then I did the blue straight line triangle shapes on the bottom. I saw someone else stitch something like them, so I wanted to put them in there. So I did.

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Still not sure I’ll (a) make it all year on this and (b) have room to stitch all year on this and (c) be able to stitch on it during my trip over Spring Break. But that last bit is fixable and the first bit is no guilt and the middle bit is. Well. It just is.

I then continued to trace Wonder Under for the next bathtub…this will be the third one I actually make of the six or so bathtub drawings I’ve done.

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I got an hour and a half or so in last night…there’s only 630 pieces and I have 350 done.

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I’m hoping to be done Tuesday…then cutting them out…then hopefully ironing down to fabric by the weekend. We’ll see. The timing on this one is really tight.

I got this thing called a Rocketbook. You can draw in it with special pens (downside) and then there’s an app that will scan it and send it where you need it…like all the ones where I mark the rocket picture at the bottom, it will send them where I tell the app all the rockets go. So I can have one for drawings and one for school stuff and one for art notes and one for one art group I’m in, etc.

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The coolest part though is that when the book is full, I can microwave it and it will be blank again. So last night I tested it out with a really quick, simple drawing, just to see how it worked. The pens are OK…they’re erasable though, so that’s cool. Anyway…it’s just something techie that I thought was really cool and wanted to try out. Plus I have a staff meeting today and I’m not allowed to bring tech and this is kind of like tech in that I can scan the notes and mark the apple, and they’ll all go to my Google Drive for school, to the folder I tell it to send all my staff meeting notes. And that’s cool. Even though I’d rather just type them. No time.

OK, parent meeting (OMG, are we just realizing our kids are failing?) and school and at some point I get to make art. My daily goal…get all the other shit done (or done enough) so I can art.

*Squeeze, Tempted

So Motivate, Though It’s Hard to Let It Ride*

I’m taking a way-too-brief break from a day full of grading. I can’t say I’m having fun, but I’m trying to get it done. No promises honestly, because some of this is just a slog. I’m trying to sew the binding on the newest quilt while I listen to the videos…because some of them are a bit um long and maybe boring. But some are kids who never talk in class, and they’re really interesting because of just that. Certainly I’m also reflecting on how to redesign this project to get more of what I want for next year. That’s the hardest part…because I might not remember for next year, so I try to write notes on the calendar and/or revise now. Writing curriculum is a pain in the ass. I’ll be glad when I can just refine stuff and make it more awesome, rather than making it from scratch.

So this is my view today so far…

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Taking little breaks regularly (that’s what this is…a break from the grading) so I don’t go crazy. Maybe I’ll get the binding done too while I’m at it.

Last night, I was just grading until I got to 3 videos totaling 20 minutes from one kid. It was a giant NOPE moment. I gave up.

And I slept in this morning, mostly because there was barking in the night and it wasn’t mine. But it kept me up. And I was tired. You should always acknowledge tired and try to do something about it. Sigh. I try. I don’t know why the stretch from February’s 3-day weekends to Spring Break is so long and torturous, but it is. My patience worn thin. My workload has not abated all year. I’m just done. But I can’t be done. So there we are.

Two more weeks until Spring Break. Then the run through until testing…it will be rough, but it will get done.

I did more of the flowers on the left, filling in between, but running out of thread, so one flower is not done. In the middle. Oh well.

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As with everything else, I will figure it out.

My couchmates last night…the cat licking my arm and the puppy throwing himself into my lap.

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Hopefully the binding will get finished while the grading gets done. And then maybe tomorrow, I can continue tracing Wonder Under on Bathtub 4 (turns out that one is #4, even though I’ve done #2 and #5), although there’s some planning and cleanup that needs to happen first, of course. So much work. Ugh. Overwhelmed. Buried. I really want to go for a walk…but I can’t do that…maybe tomorrow.

I do have plans for tonight, although they’re not ideal. I will get out of the house with my sketchbook. So I have 5 more hours. Use them wisely. Stop wasting time. You will just pay for it later.

*The Roots, What You Want

It’s Not Going to Stop*

You know how when you go to a website where it already knows your user ID and password, and it has that box to click Remember Me? If it already knew who I was when I got there and I didn’t click that box, would it forget me? Do I need to remind it to Remember Me every time? I just don’t know. It’s shit like this that keeps me up at night. I want answers. (Actually, that last bit IS what keeps me up at night.)

My head’s going in circles still with the to-do list, but I think if I just bust through a bit of it every day, I’m gonna make it. As my co-teacher said, we both have significant others who will be doing music stuff on Saturday, so we can just GRADE ALL DAY. Doesn’t that sound like fun? I know, right? SIGH. Deep heavy sigh. Then again, I’m the one grading in line. The plus is my eyelids aren’t twitching yet. But the fact that I haven’t finished grading the last unit and the next unit is due Monday is causing me some stress. Yup. Next year it won’t work like this, but for now, this is how we roll.

Yesterday’s teaching was frustrating for me…mostly because even after I figured out how little they knew about graphing and Google Draw (I can deal with that), there were the attitudes, mostly the “Please give me the answer because this is hard” attitude. I’m OK with school being hard. Just try…that’s all we ask. It was interesting to see who jumped in and did and who sat there and stared at it, hoping it would go away. I can’t deny feeling that way sometimes, but you know, it doesn’t go away. Funny…reminds me of one relationship as well…where I know it’s work and not magic and the other person never figures that shit out. The worst of the kid attitudes though were the whiners, the “I don’t get it” crew. WHAT don’t you get? Did you try? Nope. Big fat nopes. Just whiny. My job can be frustrating.

So first of all, here’s the asshole mockingbird. That’s the wires across from my house. He was in the neighbor’s tree.

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Interestingly, he was totally silent last night…incoming storm (which still hasn’t appeared). So I need more rain to keep him quiet? Sigh.

Then Calli is still having foot problems…so she used to run to the mailbox with me, and now she just sits by the car…

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Waiting for me to come back…

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Semi-patiently.

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Unlike this one, who does not know the word patient in any way, shape, or form.

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Um. What did I do? Oh. So I’m going through this tube of threads in order and it was brown next. I didn’t want brown flowers, because those are dead flowers, and why would I want to stitch dead flowers. So I did twigs on the right instead. I’ll deal with filling them later. Like maybe in May.

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Then I spent over an hour grading while the girlchild FaceTimed me. I did finish all the late stuff and the one assignment I had started grading in line, so that was good. I’m getting there. Seriously. It’s just slow and painful. It helps to talk to someone while you’re doing it.

Kitten was ready for me to start quilting again…although moments later, she fell off this. Mean of me to laugh.

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I caught her. And then went back to outlining.

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The machine was being cranky…I’m not really sure why. I cleaned everything out and rethreaded the whole beast, but the tension was off. Then I noticed the feed dogs were half up and half down. I can’t figure out why that would have an effect, but it started stitching correctly when I fixed that.

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So I kept outlining. But I thought it should go faster. I always think that though.

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I have about three hours in…

This is the pile of dark blue fabrics I’m apparently collecting.

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It’s my favorite background color. So when I go buy enough for the next quilt, I often can’t choose, so I buy two. Sometimes I end up using one on the back, but sometimes I just save it for the next quilt.

Not this one, obviously. There’s a vagina in the peas.

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And a ribcage in the carrots.

My favorite part is when I finish the outlining of the face…it’s where all the character of the piece is…the duct tape section came out perfectly. I still need to deal with the blue spots on the forehead…damn batiks.

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So that was well after midnight, which explains my grogginess this morning. I did start (barely) quilting the background. It won’t take long…tonight for sure. I swear. I need a binding too…hoping there’s something here that will work. Otherwise I may have an issue. Sigh.

Here’s the old lady in one of her favorite sleeping positions…

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She’s a sweet girl. Even the other one is sweet at this hour, until I try to get him to go in his crate. Then he’s a bitey asshole.

So yeah. Day sucked until I got to tutorial and kids actually were thinking, and then coming home and hanging out and then getting shit done that I actually cared about…then it got easier. Deep breaths for today (the assignment from yesterday continues!) and remembering dogs and quilting will be at the end of it.

*Aimee Mann, Wise Up

Like a Ninja

I appear to have misplaced my brain this morning. I can’t think. I can’t even direct thinking…like “why don’t you think about art? or school?” Nope. The brain is just like NOPE. Girlchild called last night about all this stuff piling up, and I was like, yeah. There’s too many things. That’s how you get overwhelmed…too much to calendar, or you calendar it and you keep having to move it, because you’re in the middle of doing one thing when the other one (or 5) pops up in your calendar. I just moved 4 things from last night to tonight, because I didn’t have time to get them done…and then I added a new thing. I’ll get caught up (or die) eventually, but at the moment, it does seem like I’m running around with my hair on fire. I’d like that to mellow out a bit please. If you’re taking requests, that is.

So here’s how it looks in real life…I don’t think I’ve ever been to a book signing. I mean, I feel like I have (wait, I know I went to a kid one with my own children)…but Jenny Lawson of Bloggess fame (and hopefully fortune) was coming to San Diego. I’ve been reading her blog for years and own the other two books. She’s funny. And deals with depression. Two of my favorite things, right? Anyway, what the hell, I wanted to hear her talk. So I drove up there, early, hoping to get a seat. Well. That didn’t happen, but it was OK. I did however grade in line, waiting to get in. Seriously. Because I don’t wait anywhere without something to do.

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I’m behind. I told you. But this is me on Google Classroom grading warmups while standing in line. Like you do.

She was awesome, as rambly and sarcastic and savage and funny in person as she is on her blog and in her books. I’m glad I went.

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I did not even try to wait hours in line for a signature. I’m good. I didn’t have that level of hardass fan in me. I was tired and I hadn’t eaten dinner and I still had shit to do last night. Besides, I totally forgot to bring a book. I could have had her sign my sketchbook, because I did have that (of course)…and she probably would have done that, since her current book is all the crazy drawings she did to fight through depression. Gee, I don’t know anything about that shit. But I couldn’t handle the number of people in there any more, so I drove home.

And did the stuff I can handle at the end of the day. I mean, sometimes I go out at night, but it’s usually with people I know really well by now. So that helps. I don’t have much energy left at the end of the day for dealing with things I don’t know. There has to be incentive, like cool art or something. Crazy authors. That shit.

I did the French knots on the left side, which will be the centers of flowers…they rambled down into cross stitches below to use up the last bit of thread.

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And then I quilted! Now that’s what I wanted to be doing. Not that I didn’t love listening to The Bloggess talk…but if she could have just shown up in my studio and talked to me while I sewed? That would have been awesome sauce.

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Even though I was tired, I had energy for the quilting. I don’t know where it comes from, but it’s there.

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Last night, it was mostly because I wanted to see her with the outlining. This is where stuff starts to pop.

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I stopped there because it was after midnight, but I didn’t want to. I just knew I had four more days of school to get through, so I needed to. Sleep is important, folks. Don’t forget that.

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I’ll definitely finish the outlining tonight…and make a good start on the background stuff, if I don’t just outright finish her. We’ll see. I have quilt class on Thursday, so it would be nice to get a binding on her so I can sew it down. And then start the next one. Like a ninja. An art ninja. I’m kind of a grading ninja too. That explains all the black I wear. In case you were wondering. Now before I have to leave, I’m going to do one of the five things I just moved on the calendar. Like a ninja.

‘Neath the Black, the Sky Looks Dead*

I’m thinking that really what I need is to take a day off of work and purchase one of these…

Hopefully it’s soundproof. I really really like the idea of this. I think the cats would be OK with it if there were a cat flap. I mean, I know they’re selling these mostly for kids, but WTF. This is my dream. Now fill it with pillows and move the alarm clock way the fuck out of the room, and then let me sleep in peace for like a week. I joke about the last time I got a good night’s sleep was before I was pregnant with my son…who turned 21 this year. Yeah. I wasn’t joking. That’s for real.

The mornings have been beautiful this week. One of the benefits of Daylight Savings being gone. It’s gone, right? I can never remember. Is this my life ON Daylight Savings? Or OFF of it?

And these came yesterday…gonna put them on the car so I can get keyed in all my local parking lots.

Anyway. I came home from work yesterday and moved everything on my calendar from yesterday’s to-do list to today’s to-do list. I’m not sure it will all get done, but I really couldn’t deal with it. I knew I had a show to go to last night, but later, so I tried to do something useful. For instance, I had three days of 1 Year of Stitches to do…because I just lost it this week apparently. I’ve been really good up until now…never more than a day behind. I had found two batches of some perle cotton in a color range, so I decided to just use one a day. Hence the purple and blue from before. These three are the yellow above the blue wheels (under the tree) and then the orange bullions in the grasses to the right of the tree, and then I went in with the red and filled in the yellow bits, then went down and did some French knots in the fly stitches under the tree.

I was going to do some fill in around the blue and purple, but I think I want to use something variegated in there. For interest. Maybe today’s…

Here was my lap partner.

Pyscho puppy was in and out. I just throw balls for him in between taking a stitch. Literally. It’s like one stitch per throw.

Then because I wasn’t budging off the couch until I had to eat and get ready to leave, I finished stitching down all the wool and cotton on the block that’s attached to the third block I was supposed to be embroidering on (if that makes any sense at all…because it only barely does to me)…

And because I still didn’t have to leave, I started the embroidery on that block…couching a thicker thread with a thinner one…two needles going at once.

There’s a lot of that in this quilt. I really do find this embroidery relaxing. Sure, I could have come in here and sandwiched the quilt last night, but my feet are hurting…that damn inner-foot arthritis. Only hikers with flat feet get that shit. I guess I need new shoes (not hiking boots…school shoes) again.

Then I went to the show, which was out in the boonies…and actually enjoyed myself…

Even when the drunk guy tried to drag me out onto the dance floor (foot is still hurting…plus drunk guy)…but it was really late when I got home, so I went pretty much straight to bed.

This morning, I’m trying to be focused. The problem is the number of things on which I need to focus. So my brain is trying to distract itself…like wouldn’t you like to make one of these small quilts next?

Well yes, I would…however, I can’t. I have a show coming up and I’m trying to stay focused on it and the 17,000 other shows that are picking away at my brain at the moment. At some point, I will just say Fuck You to all of it and do something I want to do. Climate change is poking at my brain at the moment.

Although I found the one I really am doing next, since I got the other rejection, confirming that I’m sticking with bathtubs…and I really like this one. So I’m good.

There’s even a piece of cheesecake in this quilt (can’t see it in this photo). So that’s cool.

And it only has 695 pieces.

Wait. Seriously? OK. So get your act together Kathryn, because you’re gone for a week in April. Counting this coming week, that gives you 5 weeks. Dammit. OK. I got this. One of those weeks is Spring Break, so I can put in some serious hours. Don’t think about school and grading…you’ll figure that shit out. You always do. Sleep? You suck at it anyway. I don’t even know why you worry about that.

I did just realize I forgot to schedule the machine in for cleaning/adjustment, so I scheduled that. Right now. In the middle of writing this post. I’ll be done with this quilt, but I’ll still be in the pre-quilting stages of the next one. So that’s awesome.

OK. Get a grip. Make a post-it note list. You know you love those. Maybe eat something and take a shower. And at least one more cup of tea.

Damn mockingbird is still keeping me up at night…a reader suggested I look at Failure to Launch…which I have not seen…but maybe I should…

I guess the difference between me and her is that I’ve read To Kill a Mockingbird…I don’t really want to kill it…I just want it to shut up.

*Soundgarden, Black Hole Sun