It’s hard to go through each day with the news the way it is…it’s hard to pick one or two things to focus on in your art, the things you think are the most important, when you’re being bombarded by absolute ignorant stupidity…well, I’m a middle-school teacher, so some days it feels like that too…but some days, the kids’ insights are amazing. I’m not getting that out of the federal government right now…although I’m consistently amazed by local and state governments and rogue entities that show me what America is made of. It’s disheartening though, to see such ignorance tossed up as representative of the country. It’s boggling. I’m teaching my students to question and search for evidence, and their role model can’t even spell or speak coherently.
So last night, after being frustrated by non-scientists trying to explain science, after listening to what other countries were saying about the Paris agreement, after reading the mayor of Pittsburgh’s tweet and hearing all the other mayors standing strong for renewable energy…I couldn’t draw. I swear, I am tired and overwhelmed and I thought about the gun drawing a lot and it will come to me, what I want to say with it. The two I had are not what I want to say. They were what I was thinking when I drew them. I can’t force myself to draw on topic sometimes. I am still so tired, to the point of considering I’m sick and trying to figure out what’s causing it (no other symptoms though). So I went to the copy place (which is now half the size? When did that happen?) and enlarged three of my smaller drawings.
One is about climate change, sort of. One is about women. One is about the desert. I don’t know which I feel like doing right now. I was going to tape them all together last night, but even that was too much for my tired brain, so I went to bed (see, this is why I think I’m sick). I just know that I need to be doing something, so if I start on one of these, start tracing, maybe the rest will come. I mean seriously…there are 10 days of school left and I’m buried in grades and I can’t even think straight about all the shit I’m supposed to be getting done in the next two weeks. Why do I expect Art Brain to save me from that?
I don’t really. I just wish she would. It’s OK. I can spend time with one of these and then look back at the deadlines and figure out what I can do. Only one of them is coming up in the next six weeks…and then the next one is September. That’s doable. Until then, off to school, try to get caught up on grading, get that shit under control, so I can force time for art…remembering that in two weeks, there will be All Day for art (well and cleaning house and garage and doing all the shit I don’t do all year long because I’m a teacher. Fuck.).
*Flock of Seagulls, I Ran (So Far Away)