Long Ago Somebody Left with the Cup*

I’m a little slow today…Saturday mornings should involve sleep and multigrain pancakes and some book reading and the petting of furry beasts. I did already check my batting and backing stash and I have enough for this one…so I can sandwich it on demand, whenever I finish the stitch down. I still need thread, but I can do that tomorrow. I have stuff I can use for the outlining…just the background is that weird brown color and brown is not something I usually use.

No, I didn’t get anything done on it yesterday…yesterday was tiring and then we gamed…yes, I do sew while gaming…

Especially when I’m really tired, because it helps keep me awake and focused on the other stuff. I have a brain that requires multiple levels of entertainment.

I really love how this is turning out. I finished the seed stitch all over the elephant and then embellished the moon.

All I have left is those weird flowers and May is done. I’ve been getting April ready to go…one of the three blocks is ready to be embellished. The others still have some wool stuff that needs to be stitched on…just little things though. Then I’ll try to do the months in order. I promise.

So I’ll start stitch down in a little bit…I was trying to deal with some work stuff this morning. And getting the kids home for the holidays. And considering how to get the girlchild to Madagascar, assuming that’s where she’s going in Spring. Talk about a hellish flight situation. Anyway. All that is done. It’s good. It was weighing on me. I’ll still have to deal with the international stuff once we have confirmation.

Someone asked about the symbols on arms in the new piece…some are pretty obvious. The others might not be.

The female (teacher) figure has an apple and Teach America…pretty blatant.

And a peace symbol. Because. Yeah.

The male figure has a rifle sight image…I found a lot of versions of these online.

And one of the NRA logos. Their lobbying for gun rights here are unfortunately very well-funded.

This is another gun sight. The gray arm in the middle is trying to protect her, but obviously failing…gray for neutral. Because I think the American government is refusing to take a stand (it’s too political) and yet wants to protect the innocents from these shootings. But it isn’t doing (really) anything to make that happen, so they might as well be placing gun sights on all those populations that keep getting targeted…schools specifically, because that’s my own regular experience with these conversations. Talking to 12-year-olds about guns at school. Giant ass sigh. Not teaching science, but death avoidance.

But the government, in refusing to act against big lobbies and gun-happy populations, to do what is best for everyone, with evidence from other countries who HAVE limited gun purchases, have placed those gun sights on many groups…people of color, those in the wrong place at the wrong time, victims of domestic violence, people who just happen to be in a theater when a crazy person who got hold of a gun got pissed off, or a business where someone worked and got mad and got even. Sigh. Seriously, America, get your priorities straight. Humans over gun rights. Hands down.

OK. Gotta get some work done.

*Cake, The Distance

Now the Party’s Over*

OK. Last night was the night. It’s when I finally saw the whole thing ironed out. We’re good. I really should trust my instincts after all these years, but there’s often that moment of uncertainty when I’m not sure it’s gonna work.

Before I ever started ironing last night, though, I packed a quilt up for Quilts=Art=Quilts so I could ship it this morning. And then I went to my quilt meeting…although I should probably stop labeling it with the word ‘quilt’ because half the people knit. Let’s call it a String Meeting. A friend I used to work with always asked me how my string things were going, because another friend at work knitted and I quilted and he could never remember which was which, but he knew they all used strings.

Because this quilt was at a stage that is not transportable, I took my handwork with me. I needed to get the wool pieces sewn down for April (yes, I’m working on May…I’m a little wombly sometimes). These are two of the three blocks, but there’s a bunch of pinky-red flower dots that have to be sewn on, plus I had to find the eyeball fabric when I got home. So luckily I’m still working on the May elephant block, because these aren’t ready. But soon.

Then I headed into the studio and pieced a backing, shoved the ironing board and chairs out of the way (I should have kicked them out of the studio), and threw the whole thing down on the floor.

Sometimes it’s a mistake to try to iron a big quilt down on the floor in there, so I do it in the entryway, but it was almost 11 and I didn’t want to mop the floor, because it was pretty dirty. Luckily it worked…I managed to line up the male’s head and gun with the hole in the chalkboard (note to self…no need for a hole there…if I’d drawn it all behind the gun, I wouldn’t have had to worry about it). I also managed to get everything else flat. Miraculous really.

Midnight was no help.

And then I spent about 40 minutes with a spray bottle and a hot iron, trying to make sure it would stick long enough for me to stitch it down…which I could start tonight, if it wasn’t gaming night. Surely I will start tomorrow.

It’s hanging up there and it’s too big for the space, so that’s a seriously wonky picture. But it’s gonna work. Outlining in the quilting for sure. No way do I have a thread that color…so this weekend, check batting and backing, and buy thread.

I’m sort of amazed by how hard this has been to make. I started teaching at age 35, recently divorced, with two little kids. The school where I started had very little support for new teachers. I had another science teacher I connected with who helped me a lot, but she has since quit. Nine days after I started my first job, two students brought a gun on campus to kill a teacher who “gave” one of them an F. Another kid snitched. I hate that word. I love that she told someone responsible. But those were the days before lockdowns. I remember at lunch, alone in my room, seeing kids running for the back part of the school in a huge bunch, but no one told us what was happening. I went home clueless…until I was watching the news last night and they broke the story.

There was no shooting. As far as I know, the teacher never came back. The gun never made it into the classroom…it was hidden on campus. That was a Friday. Eventually they called an emergency meeting for Monday morning. And that’s when lockdown drills started here in San Diego…or soon after. It was 3 years after the Santana High School shooting, back when these things were not so commonplace. I had a hard time dealing with the situation. It was hard for me to think that I might not make it home to my own very small (at that time) children because of something like that. And I have to say, that feeling has never gone away. I do still go back to school every day. Why? Because of the kids.

I’ll write later about a conversation I had last year with my students…which is also what this is about.

Deep stuff. Stitch down this weekend. Then sandwich and quilting.

*Roxy Music, Avalon

Fake It if You Feel Like Infection*

My brain doesn’t know where to start. I’m listening to Talking Heads. I finished grades yesterday afternoon (I think…I’m always paranoid I missed something). My lunch is put together. All the animals are fed and medicated and settled…well, no, I had to go get the Golden Retriever because she’s being destructive. Paper is her issue. She likes to rip it up and eat it. Nice habit. I need to leave for work in about 25 minutes. I’m fed. I obviously don’t have enough caffeine in me.

Girlchild has been in Copenhagen for 5 or 6 days…her school had a few days off and she and a friend found a cheap flight, so they’ve been living it up in a tiny bedroom belonging to some young couple and their kid. I hear from her a couple times a day, so I know she’s alive. Boychild complains about the weather and sends comics. I know he’s alive. That’s all good.

I’m trying to finish up this quilt so I can move on to another more lighthearted one. Ha! Because the next one is about climate change, and that’s still depressing. Sigh. I did enter another show last night and there’s another few coming up in the next month. My solo show comes down in a week and a half, so all those quilts are coming back here. I didn’t expect to sell anything big, unfortunately…it’s a harder sell. The little ones are safe and relatively cheap. Time is worth money. I’d rather have the quilt than be underpaid for my time.

So finishing grades at work yesterday meant I came home and totally spaced out for at least an hour or so before I came in here and started ironing. I think I made dinner first. Can’t remember. Oh wait. I entered the show, THEN made dinner, and THEN ironed. I have half a brain. I wanted to walk the dogs, but it was hot. Bleck.

I’m considering a change to the head with the target…I didn’t purposely pick head colors…just wanted a variety. And this is less about the colors of specific students and more about all students as a whole. So I’m debating how to deal with that. I have a couple of ideas…one is embroidery and the other is more random. I’m letting it percolate.

The chalkboard…you know, the thing teachers don’t use any more.

The head goes in…

And the writing. The date is the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting…that event had a huge effect on my local school district…it’s when we started locking the campus, fencing it all in, locking our doors for that 6 months afterward because the kids were so freaked out. So were the parents (and the teachers), but we do this stuff for the kids.

Some more stuff on the board…

And that arm in place…

Finally working on the last figure…some may be offended by the American flag, but I think we have a deeply rooted issue with guns that you don’t see in other countries. This school shooting problem is a purely American construct. From Columbine on, we keep seeing these shootings occur and we don’t do anything to stop them.

As a teacher, I have some issues with that. More about that later.

Anyway, I have about 110 pieces left to go, and then I hope it all fits together…it could be a little wiggy where all the hands meet bodies. Hopefully that’s tonight…ironing it down to the background. We’ll see.

*Seether, Fake It

Your Conscience Will Be Mine*

Grades are almost done…they’re close enough that I could ignore them last night and iron for a few hours. That’s how you know you’ve done it right. I’m up early for a parent meeting…I don’t really like morning meetings. I’m not fully functional even with a cup of tea in me. I need time and space to get my head in the right place to teach, to get my classroom ready, and morning meetings fuck with that. It’s better than the days my school day started at 7:25 AM though, so I am glad of that.

I managed three nights’ worth on this…blue, white, and peach down in the bottom left, a variety of stitches…some lazy daisies, straight stitches, fly stitches, and French knots…whatever it took to fill the space. Chain stitches too…

Then filling in the elephant…that might take a while.

Then I came home and ironed…got the face done. The eyes are always a bit fussy. I don’t like ironing one down to the face until I have both of them and I can place them together.

It can be a bit fidgety sometimes, getting them in the right place that is…

And then it gets dark. This is a dark quilt. There’s no doubt about it. I guess many of my quilts are challenging, but this is straight up painful to think about and to make. So maybe that’s why I’m so troubled about whether it says what I want it to say.

I finished the head and the arm in the middle…gray, not flesh. I guess people will read that however they need to.

I’m 500 pieces in…only have 360 or so to go. So hopefully by Tuesday night I’ll be ironing it to the background, and then maybe stitching down after that. It’s big, so that part will take a while. I think I’m about 7 hours in on the ironing. I can’t check right now…my phone is in the other room charging…I’m not sure why it wasn’t charged this morning, but it wasn’t. Weird. Hopefully this is not a sign that the phone is dying early.

This morning’s reward for having to be up too early…

May the rest of the day follow that with abandon.

*Adam and the Ants, Stand and Deliver

Everyone’s Taking Everything They Can*

So everything I was supposed to do last night got canceled, and I ended up with a free evening. Which is strange. So like any good teacher worried about grades, that’s what I did first…but it was good, because I got an entire assignment out of the way and in the gradebook. I’m feeling much better about progress report grades being due next week now. I’ve got one major assignment, but I’m just over halfway through grading it, and I think I can get a chunk done at school today (I hope), so that will help. I don’t want a weekend full of grading. I’m trying to avoid it.

Never look a bunch of cancellations in the mouth? Just go for it?

It meant I was back to art stuff pretty early…well, early for me anyway. When I sat down on the couch, there were three animals with me in about 14 seconds flat…Satchemo, looking plaintive.

Calli, who is finally feeling better, and Simba with his bone…

Seriously, Satchemo always looks a bit plaintive.

Mostly it’s because he does not get all the food and all the pets.

Two nights’ worth on here…in the bottom left still…the pink lazy daisies and fly stitches, and then the flowers in a slightly different pink.

I have to decide on how to add another thing, a motif. And what to add.

I did finish cutting out finally…it’s a good thing I didn’t try the night before, because it took another hour and a half, for 14 hours total.

A lot of bigger pieces…filling up the box.

At that point, it was just after 11 and I was trying to decide…do I sort tonight? Well yes, I do. It’s easier to do that and then start clean tonight with ironing.

It took just under an hour to sort them all…not bad.

Nine bins full of pieces ready to be ironed together. I’ll hopefully start tonight and get some done this weekend. I do want to do some enjoyable things this weekend too, though, so that will be on the agenda. I’ve read another 17 articles about teacher work/life balance (it must be September!). It’s a myth that you can ever have that with this career and do a decent job of it…but certainly you should always be carving out time for self and friends and family. Carve is the appropriate term too…with a rather sharp, nasty, and dangerous sword.

Good news though…three pieces are in an upcoming local show at the Rose Gallery, located at Francis Parker School…so yeah, no nudity! And I had three of them. Miraculous. The opening is November 16…put it on the calendar. They do a lovely reception and it’s a beautiful space…it’ll be the first time I’ve had work there. It’s all good…persuades me to enter yet another show.

I don’t actually need persuading. I know better than to look at any one (or series of) rejection(s) and take any life’s purpose from that.

*Zero 7, In the Waiting Line

Laughed as My Body She Lifted*

So the dog is feeling better…she finally ate something this morning. That’s a relief. Although she’s back on meds. I’m currently negotiating with the two cats in my office. One doesn’t understand personal space apparently. They’re semi-squealing at each other. Really? Knock it off.

Yesterday was too long and stressful, although I was efficient until about 10 PM. Then it all fell to hell. Not surprisingly. I guess I’m not Superwoman. Oh wait. I already knew that.

I’m back up early today for another meeting. I’m not sure why some people assume everyone functions in the morning. I do on here, but this is light and pictures and words typed on a keyboard. I don’t have to really talk to anyone except in my head. I did a lot of that yesterday, talked to people while I was driving around to all the things, chiropractor, vet, and an art meeting. Ugh. I’m not happy about a couple of things at school and it’s dragging me down. I know my counselor would say to knock it off and I’m trying, but I’m just not happy about it at the moment.

Ahh…sigh. Just ignore for now. Get shit done. Hope the rest disappears or changes.

I finally sat down around 10:30 or so to cut stuff out…

IMG_7957 small

Yeah. You’d think I would have finished. And I thought about it. But I was really tired and knew I had to be up early today. So I tried to be a responsible adult. I have 12 1/2 hours into the cutting. I suspect there’s less than an hour left in there. It’s busy today and tonight, and grades are due soon, but my plan is to finish cutting those and then sort them so I can iron tomorrow night.

Now that’s exciting, isn’t it? I think so. Meanwhile, I’m still waiting to hear if I have to make another piece sometime before January 1 (it’s not on my calendar! And I don’t know how I’ll pull it off if I have to…). And I’m waiting to hear about a show. And I really just want to run away to somewhere kinda cold and rainy or warm and tropical and just make a bunch of art while someone else teaches science and grades a million things and cleans up dog vomit and tries to manage a bunch of people. Is that an option? Nope. Probably not.

*Natalie Merchant, Wonder

Face Away and Pretend That I’m Not*

Grades are due in a week…it’s part of why I put my head down and put in 10 or so hours this weekend. I got some significant stuff out of the way, but there’s more in the classroom. That plan to spend an hour on the deck drawing? Well it turned into a half hour of talking and a glass of wine, but that was fine. I forget to take that time for myself…there’s always something dragging me back into what I have to do…so it was nice to have someone else remind me. Yo! Go sit outside and relax!

I’m not great at that.

So I didn’t get as much art done as I wanted to, but it’s coming…this is a busy week with lots of meetings, so who knows what’s going to happen. I’d like to be done with the cutting sooner rather than later, but I can’t guess how much longer it’s going to take. I’m over 6 hours in now and it doesn’t seem like I’m half done…although I did a bunch of tiny pieces yesterday and I feel like the rest is mostly larger pieces, so maybe I am halfway? Hard to say.

Lots of numbers and letters…this bit took forever and fussy little scissors.

You can see them all there…the little triangles will wait to be cut out until I’m ready to iron them down. They get lost too easily.

So here’s where I’m at…trash box at the top…to-be-cut-out on the left, and stuff I’ve cut out on the right. It seems like there’s still more in the to-be-cut box than the cut box…so I guess I still have a lot to go.

Usually cutting out takes less time than ironing, so this being halfway would make sense…and big pieces are generally easier to cut out than the fussy little ones.

We’ll see. I’ll be lucky to get 2 hours in tonight…Tuesday might be a little better. Wednesday for finishing? Eh. Maybe Thursday. But ironing together by the weekend? Maybe even Friday night? That would be nice…this thing is taking longer than I thought it would.

Cat standoff…

Things are getting slightly better. Less growling. Not getting along yet per se, but hey, we’ll take what we can get.

Still working on this…filling in the left bottom. I did a pink and a maroon, lots of French knots and some chain stitch.

Soon I’ll have to decide what to do with the rest of the left side.

Puppy sleep.

Spending the whole weekend working makes my brain fuzzy…seriously. It does. Aaugh. This job. It really does try to take over everything. I guess the art is kinda the same way, but I prefer that. Almost every waking moment thinking about art? Not a problem. Maybe it’s because school is such an impossible problem and art is a solution to me.

*Linkin Park, Faint

Stay Wilder Than the Wind*

Late writing today…not because I slept all day…ah ah aha ha ha ha. OK. Teacher humor. But yeah, I’ve put in a few hours of grading today already…trying to free up my evening for artmaking…which in this case is really just hours of scissoring. With scissors. Just to be clear.

But I do like the school days when I get to do art as well…so yesterday was the start of a new unit, so I did my cover page…

I like it better than last year’s…mostly because it’s missing last year’s mistake. So yeah, I got to color on Friday. For my job. That’s awesome.

Which is good, because that was really all the artmaking that happened, being gaming night. I’m training to do runes…but I need a hammer and a ton of money.

A late-night trip to the grocery store…this never makes me feel safe…

I finished the block on the left…block 15? I think? While gaming. And started on the elephants. It took me about halfway around the baby elephant to remember how to do coral stitch…the book I use is usually quite good, but for some reason, I couldn’t figure this one out until I looked it up online and then went…OOOoohhh…that makes more sense…

This morning started with some school work…grading of course…but then a 3-mile hike with the dogs…and a random coyote who was quite vocal and nerve-wracking…and then gave up and went to sleep.

Tired the damn dogs out at least.

I had been looking at Blocks 15 and 16 and trying to figure out how I was supposed to sew this moon thing on…oh yeah. Sew the damn blocks together. So I did. This is Blocks 4 and 5 sewn to 9 and 10 sewn to 15 and 16. I think. That doesn’t make sense though numberwise. Something like that. I realized after that I should have trimmed them before I sewed.

That’s some crooked elephant stuff down there. I’ll figure it out…don’t worry. But it’s looking pretty good so far.

Kitten has decided the dog bed is the right size for her…and she’s pushed the blinds to the side for a kitten-sized window out to look at the front yard…mostly at the bunnies.

She’s still not comfortable coming out here by herself with Satchemo in the house, but both of them were on the bed this morning. Only a little hissing happened. It’s a VERY slow process that involves a lot of petting and treats.

Anyway, I’m grading (and cleaning house a bit) for the next two hours, and then dinner plus artmaking afterwards. That’s the plan anyway. We’ll see how it goes in reality.

*Duran Duran, Come Undone

Hung Down with the Freaks and the Ghouls*

The parrots are back…San Diego’s loud squawky parrots, perched in the trees around my house. They’re quiet at night, unlike the dog I live with, who took offense to all noises last night. I forget how hard September is…I keep walking around muttering “This is HAAAARRRDDDD,” to myself, like that helps. It doesn’t, by the way…in case you were wondering.

Yesterday I taught 130 students how to create a webpage. For most of them, it was their first time. It actually went pretty well…we’ll have to see how it goes from here on out. It’s our first year doing digital portfolios…so we’ll have to make sure we stay on top of it. Really. However hard it is.

I’ve been trying to do some grading every day. Can’t say I’m always particularly successful about it, but I’m trying.

I was 4 nights behind on this…seriously, what is my problem? I did 4 different things/colors in the bottom left…almost filled up in there. Gonna hafta decide what to do next. Aack.

It’s funny that the dogs and Satchemo have figured their shit out, despite cross-species shit, but the other cats are still not OK with it. I spent about 10 minutes last night with the treat bag, placating all three of them. LOOK! When we’re together, she gives us treats! Let’s be together and not scratching or hissing! Fun stuff.

This dog? Huh. Getting jealous in her old age. Or maybe she always was.

I was watching 28 Days Later last night and cutting shit out. I did a couple of hours of it, I think…but I wasn’t very efficient. The top box is trash, the big box under it is all the stuff that still needs cutting out, and the bottom box is the stuff that’s done.

And this is where I realize the heating pad has been sitting on the couch for months…like since my back/neck last bothered me that bad. Maybe May?

OK, I already know I have to grade like a crazy woman this weekend to make up for being sick all last weekend, but I really want to draw for a bit…just sit out on the deck with a cup of tea or a glass of wine and just watch the sky and draw. I keep saying that and then life slaps me upside the face. Anyway, will I be done cutting all these out by Monday morning? I think it’s unlikely…just looking at the weekend…but maybe I will be. We’ll see. But soon anyways.

I’m also trying to get my head out of my ass on exhibitions…I have some I need to enter or at least look at, but the last rejection kind of irritated me. I hate thinking censorship might have happened, but you never know when you have work like mine. I don’t usually mind rejections…I mean, acceptances are nice, but you have to realize the odds and I do. I’m sure I’ll figure that shit out and start entering again. Hopefully soon.

*Smashing Pumpkins, 1979

And We Will Run, We Will*

Two long work days in a row. It happens. I’m kinda done with it though. I keep thinking it’s Friday and it’s not. Yet.

So when I finished grading tests at like 10:45 last night, after a 2-hour union meeting, I finally started cutting out pieces. I didn’t get far.

A bunch of letters and a giant cloud.

And a sleepy puppy.

Hopefully I’ll do better tonight. But who knows? I’m behind in grading (as always). School is stressing me out. I guess what’s new? Yeah. I know.

I’ve got an early meeting. And apparently no words.

*Rusted Root, Send Me on My Way