Reflection is both the savior and bane of being a teacher. Constantly reviewing what we taught, how they learned, how it went. Oh god, that was horrible. Hey, they really got it! And all the places in between. We don’t always know the WHY of the good or bad…sometimes it seems like our success is dependent on the moon phases (seriously, every teacher knows when it’s a full moon), but it means we reflect on ourselves often too much and too harshly as well. The days after a weeklong break are semi-doomed. We’re tired, they’re tired, they think it’s already Winter Break, we wish it was already Winter Break. There’s a definite feeling that I need to Gird My Loins and hoist my scabbard skyward to survive the next three weeks. The plus is that it is only three weeks. I feel like I can grab onto those 15 days physically and just hold them…unlike the vast expanse of time that is March or May…where days drag on for…well…days. Longer days? I just don’t know how to explain it. They’re longer. They are!
So reflecting on my week off. Well. Yeah. The pros: I played a lot with kittens, I exercised mostly well, and I finished grading the large assignment from hell. The cons: I did nothing else. Really. So little art created. I’m frustrated by that, but that means I’m frustrated by myself, because it really was about mindset more than anything else. I didn’t make time for it. I was a lot of braindead. I suspect I needed to be a lot of braindead, but I also know I needed to make the art, because I can feel it today. It’s an ache of not doing. I should have tried harder.
Ah, those should haves. All I can do is try harder now. When I have so much on my plate. It’ll be fine. It always is somehow.
We walked the dogs on Saturday. You can’t really see it, but there’s snow out there, way out in the distance.
And brand new green stuff on the ground. Saturday was a lot of grading…
Sunday was chaotic. It always is. Started with pilates. Then groceries and schoolwork to prep for today and prepping breakfasts for the next three weeks and organizing my brain for the same three weeks. I think most people have no idea how much prep teaching takes…especially on Sundays. I send the parent email from my whole team, I try to prep warmups for the week (I made it through Tuesday…whoops), set up any online posts that aren’t set up already, answer emails etc. I did do art stuff though. I entered a show yesterday. I was hoping I would hear from another entry before I entered this one (rejected pieces are good for new shows, right?), but ironically, I had just hit SUBMIT and then the other show results came in. Oh well. Frustrating. But I did get in to the first show with one piece, so I can’t really complain.
It was busy. But I did get the last bit of the grading done on that project, so that was good. Oh yeah, I drew Saturday night. I made myself. I was exhausted. But there’s a piece in my head that happens to be next on the list. This is a very rough start to it…
But it is a start. More hopefully later this week.
The kittens are getting more comfortable with hanging out on the couch with us.
Of course, this was after an hour or so of tearing around like maniacs.
Last night during dinner…the blue-eyed beast kept trying to sample off my dinner plate. Her sister was more interested in a nap.
About 10 minutes later, they were racing all over the room again.
This guy wanted to play too…
He’s a little nervous about the kittens still, but he’s a good boy.
OK, so it’s school. Followed by two meetings. Ugh. Then get my hair cut before the holidays start for reals. Honestly this was when she was available. I don’t really care what my hair looks like. I care that I can get a brush through it. Then come home and do some artmaking. Maybe I just make more when I’m too busy not to. Or something. Down time is not my friend? Who knows. I can reflect on it or I can just move on and make something. Going for that.
Kathy Nida 