Oh Life, It’s Bigger*

OK, y’all. I’m really trying to stay sane here, but my government is negatively affecting my sleep. Damn Nestle too. WTF with the breastfeeding thing. Babies need breast milk…it’s the best for them. If a mom can’t do it, for whatever reason (except getting her nails or hair done), then OK, that’s a thing. But we shouldn’t be encouraging that. Sigh. And then crazy nominees for the Supreme Court. Damn Mitch McConnell and his mealy-mouthed witterings. Plus the environment…poor unprotected space. I sat there last night staring at the drawing I’m doing and trying to focus on one thing…ONE THING. But I couldn’t. So maybe it’s got immigration and pollution and climate change AND women’s rights all rolled into one. Because it’s not all separate in my brain or in real life.

UGH. I just need my brain to chillax. So I’m writing all this backwards…I drew last night for about an hour, but had to wait for the temps to cool down. I ended up taking the arm from the original drawing and turning it into an angry sea mermaid. Still working on her. Then I can fill in the ocean around her and then try to finish the land bits.

I went to bed around 12:45 AM (but didn’t sleep for hours)…had to take some notes on what to draw next so I wouldn’t forget it. So those are on my phone for later today. I have today off from jury duty…and 14 thousand things to do.

Petting a hot puppy…

Pinbasted this last night…the entryway is really warm this time of year…

So it involved a big glass of icy water and a fan…which is why I got the dog: tile floor plus fan equals cooler fluffy dog.

She’s ready to quilt…hopefully today too…

This cat refuses to acknowledge rules. He wanted to lie on the quilt. Multiple times. All my other animals know better.

So the plan is to ship quilts to Washington for a show up there, go to the post office and mail stuff to a variety of places, find shirts for the boychild, and go get edumacated about the diabetes I’ve had for 16 years. Fun day. Then quilt and draw…now THAT part is fun. More of that.

*R.E.M., Losing My Religion

Conversations Are So Difficult Right Now

Sigh. I tried to have a conversation yesterday with someone from “the other side” (I don’t believe there are only two sides to anything…especially in this case, because she seemed to believe she was a feminist, as do I, but there were some other things going on…) about feminism. She claimed there were “Real Feminists” (her term) and they didn’t resort to pussy hats and calling themselves nasty women (um. We didn’t start that. We just took it away from the Orange Trumpet). I asked for her definition of real and fake feminism, because honestly, if you believe in equal rights for women (and for that matter, all versions of gender, as we only barely understand them), then I think you’re a feminist. You can be a quiet feminist. You can be a loud proud and in my face feminist. You can be somewhere in between. You can be a male feminist. You can be all kinds of feminist. I didn’t even know about the WAVES of feminism until a few years ago…apparently if you’re part of the 2nd wave, they hadn’t yet figured out that there was more than one wave. Not that it matters to me which wave you are in…as long as you are in the same body of water with us…so honestly, your politics, your voting history, your life existence doesn’t really matter to me, as long as your core belief is in equality.

I think I was a feminist the first time I realized that male artists were “more important” than female artists (they aren’t…you know that’s why I put it in quotes). So that was when I was about 11. Maybe younger. That said, I have a pussy hat. I don’t have a problem with being lumped in with the nasty women. I make art that seems to be in your face, although, honestly, I don’t make it with that purpose in mind. I get accused of it a lot…of trying to shock people with my art. I honestly don’t care if you’re shocked (I do want you to examine WHY you are shocked). I don’t make art so I can stand on a hillside in front of a million people and yell through a mic a bunch of really inappropriate things that upset people. (like I’ve never ever done that. unlike some people.) I make art because that stuff is in my head and it upsets me and angers me and I need to get it out.

I’ve always shown my art because I think it helps our world for (a) those who believe like me to see that there are others out there with similar feelings and build some consensus around that, but also (b) those who don’t believe like me to see other viewpoints and hopefully work around their prejudices or misconceptions or even brainwashing that there are other ways to view issues and the world. If you’re an artist, I don’t care if you show all your work, show some of your work, or show none of your work. That’s your deal.

I’ve used naked people in my art since I was in college (so that’s over 30 years, folks…not new to this rodeo), because I’m more interested in the core of people, the insides, the body shape itself than I am in clothes and the assumptions we make with what we put on people. I’m not trying to shock you. I don’t think nudity is shocking. I don’t think blood or childbirth or breastfeeding or penises or vulvas or uteri are shocking. If you do, that’s about YOU. Walk away if you don’t like it. I will do the same for you. But maybe stop a moment and try to figure out why you’re having that reaction. Don’t stop when you get to the part where it’s a naked person and that’s WRONG. Why is it wrong? Because it makes people do things (I personally think that’s an excuse, but whatever)? Isn’t that about those people? Nudity in itself is not wrong.

If you’re bringing sin into the argument (especially if you’re putting sin on a brand new baby), then you have to admit that religion is informing your reaction. Then maybe walk away? Or…talk to me: “My religion is telling me that this is shocking because of the nudity.” Then see? We can still have a conversation. I say, “Oh, well I don’t believe that, so you can see I didn’t mean for this to be shocking.” And you can say, “Well, I don’t like it. It shocks me.” And I can say, “OK, then. Well move on. Maybe we can have a conversation about something else…like why a pussy hat makes someone a fake feminist? Or where to buy the best fabric locally?” But there’s no need to be defensive about your answer. Just give me an answer. Not angry, not yelling, just an answer. And if I don’t agree? Agree that we disagree and we both (at least right now, right here, in America) have the right to our differing beliefs and feelings…

I do have a hard time with people who voted for Trump and claim they are feminists, but I’ve heard from a few that they voted for him because in general he supported their beliefs…but there was no one who supported all their beliefs. So they let their feminism trail behind on that vote. I can understand that. I’ve had to make similar decisions while voting…to pick my battles…which sucks, but is political reality. I just happen to have like zero things I agree with Trump on, except maybe Space Force. Space Force (pew pew) is an awesome idea. (OK, you know I’m joking, right? Except I really do like exploring space.)

So I will try to keep having conversations, but when someone else uses the term “Madonna lovers” to describe fake feminists, I have to laugh, because the first thought I had was of the singer, because honestly, I’m not a fan of religion FOR ME. It’s not the first thing that comes to mind. It works for some people…some very good and respectful and loving people. I know some of them. But some people use it as an excuse to do some really evil and prejudiced things in the name of their religion or their god(s), and I don’t appreciate that. Don’t start wars because you think God told you to. God told you to get along. If you’re gonna quote him, then follow him.

I tried. I stopped engaging in the conversation, because she thinks I’ve made her a target, and I didn’t mean to do that. I wanted to know what the fuck she was talking about with “Real Feminists.” Because she seemed to think there was a set of rules for that, and I don’t agree. I’ll keep trying. I’m not giving up on communication. I’m not even sure what a fake feminist is. I know there are women who claim they are not feminists, but they appreciate not being raped or beaten with no repercussions, they love driving their cars and going shopping without a man’s permission, they like to vote, they can make choices about their bodies, they can choose to be the most feminine, lacy, home-cooked meal, princess of the kitchen that they want to be (hell, anyone can CHOOSE that, even men)…so I’m not sure why they think they aren’t feminists. Maybe there should be a reality show where those women go back to before we had the vote, before we had rights, or to countries where they DON’T have what we have here in the United States. Maybe then they’d get it.

Double sigh. Moving back to art…which has nudity and uteri and maybe a penis (not in the current one, sorry y’all). Not because I’m trying to shock you. Go back and read it again. Engage in a conversation with me. Don’t just sit there and fume over something that’s only happening in your head.

It’s still hot here in San Diego. That said, it cooled down over 10 degrees and there was a hint of thunderstorm activity (it rained for 14 seconds), so that helped. Kitten has been living in the sink (it’s the coolest place in the house)…

There’s yesterday’s baby thunderstorm…more noise than product (ha ha ha…wait a minute, I’m still talking about the Prez).

I did finish the stitch down…with two fans on me. One was on my face and one on my body. Too damn hot. Lights off (hard to see). My lights in here give off heat, unfortunately. I should fix that.

In the middle of sewing, I had an art group meeting down at Bread and Salt…I love the murals that keep popping up…and this one, melting, was appropriate.

Then back to stitching…I didn’t have much left.

Somewhere in the middle of all that stitching, I saw this. This morning, I redid my fridge whiteboard calendar for the next 5 weeks…and the first day of school is in that last week. NOOOOOOOOO. Yeah. OK.

I don’t have any money to spend right now, but eventually I’ll have to do all that too.

Here’s the back of the stitched-down front…

I always check the back to see if I missed stitching anything down. Sometimes I catch it here, before I change the needle out, but usually not.

It was hot enough for a bunny to sprawl on the driveway…we debated putting water out for them. Then we get mosquitoes though. Ugh. Solutions? I hate maintaining fountains (I suck at maintaining fountains. And the water heats up so fast. You see me dumping ice cubes out there all day, yeah? Maybe.

So before he moved the glass, it was better…there was a horse on the left and a brontosaurus on the right. You can still sorta see them. (yes, I see things in beer foam. I see things everywhere.)

We came back from (air-conditioned) dinner and I did four more of the orange balls. It was way to hot to have the wool on me, so I quit after four. I think there are 9 or so left.

And at the meeting, I did more of those coral-colored flowers. They are tiny and cool, but a pain in the ass.

I also noticed that in the quilt that Sue Spargo did, she stitched French knots all over the wild dog. I like that. But I don’t know if I have enough of that thread to do that, so I’m going to wait until the end? And then probably forget about it. Not sure how to make sure I remember? Maybe write it on the instructions for the last month? That would be smart.

I wanted to draw last night, but I drank too much water and my belly got unhappy and then I got tired and I just couldn’t deal with anything else. I’m hoping to do better today. I know I don’t have jury duty tomorrow, but I have to call in again tomorrow night. One day at a time…one more medical appointment conquered tomorrow, and then hopefully I’ll get Tuesday off as well, because I’m supposed to pick up a quilt and go to the chiropractor (I really need that one)…but we’ll see. Meanwhile, I just need to make art like I’m never going to get any more free time, don’t I? And keep conversing. I’m not writing off the human population…I often want to, and I’m sure they feel the same way about me, but I’d really just rather live in a peaceful, respectful, caring world that doesn’t kill people for their beliefs. Crunchy hippie. I know.

It’s Too Hot…

Ugh. Heat. Smashing my brain cells into headache cells. Yes, I drank water…like 8 gallons of it. And then immediately sweated it back out. I don’t have air conditioning, people. We open windows or close them, then put fans on, then drop a bunch of animals in the pool to cool them off. Including human animals.

So this was the car before I drove east home…at which point, it said 112 degrees. I think the official high in East County was 111 degrees, so I’m sticking with that.

I spent about 4 hours with my co-teacher (a) catching up, (b) complaining about school and shit, (c) sitting in air conditioning, and (d) actually doing school planning.

We managed all of Unit 1 and a good start to Unit 2. We might meet again, depending on the federal court shenanigans that are my summer existence. They called (the Feds) and left a truncated message on my phone that just said “(s;dlkfrag) Federal Court. Thank you.” Um. OK. Apparently if you pick up (who picks up on numbers they don’t recognize?), they remind you to call to check your status. Dudes. Abide. It’s on my fucking calendar.

Anyway, one more day will get us some wiggle room in August and September, which we will probably need.

Here’s the coffee place’s fancy Insta wall…very cute. They had a mild cactus theme. S3…not quite in Mission Valley, but on the eastern edge of it, which is probably close to halfway between our houses.

Plus they had science! This drink changes color when you dump the lemonade in it. I have video.

Sitting on a metrics worksheet, while the computer in the background shows little plastic animals, as we try to decide if they will fit in our graduated cylinders…like you do.

So at home, it was really really hot. The house was cooler than outside because the windows had been closed all day, but even then, the cat who is always hidden was lying in plain sight on the linoleum floor.

Eventually she moved to the bathroom sink, her preferred hot spot locale.

Boychild took the big dog in the pool. I took both of them in. Little one doesn’t like water, but he didn’t struggle. They have too much fur for that.

And in this heat, they dry almost instantly. Hey, it’s only supposed to be 104 degrees today.

So we watched Black Panther last night, and I thought it was way better handled than Wonder Woman. I can’t speak to the POC issue, because I’m white, but the women were appropriately clothed for their jobs, were strong and outspoken and smart (his sister!), and I really liked how that was handled. Although still the patriarchal issue of the king passing his power down to his son and men fighting, with strength being the key to winning. Why couldn’t the queen take over? As I age, shitty representations of women in books and movies become even more obvious and annoying. Oh yeah, and in government. As we watched, I embellished balls…orange balls…but only like three or four of them because this is a WOOL quilt and it was still 90-some degrees after 8 PM.

And then I was looking and thinking, hey self, there’s only two other colors when you’re done with this one. Aren’t there 6 colors? There are not. There are only 5. So I have finished 2/5s of the balls. Good to know. Plus no worries about how I don’t see another color, because there isn’t one. Thank woolly goddess. Going insane here. And here’s the other insanity…I’m close to done on the quilting of that other applique quilt, and then I was going to quilt the wool one that has been pinbasted for two years, and then this one will probably be done this summer and will also need quilting. Like I have time for that, because yesterday I finally looked at the calendar and it’s getting tight. They can’t put me on a trial…I won’t finish the two quilts I need to finish (damn, plus the two little ones that are supposed to be done by the 22nd. Ha! Oh dear. My brain needs to go into overdrive, which it totally can’t, due to the heat).

Anyway. So there’s that.

Sometime around 11 PM, I was finally able to come in here, point two fans at me, and stitch down. And you know what? The fucking tension was fine.

Sometimes that shit just drives me nuts because there’s no rhyme or reason to what works. Sometimes the spool needs to be horizontal, sometimes upright, sometimes through the metal thing, sometimes not. Sometimes tension is at 3, sometimes it’s at almost zero. I just can’t figure it out. Temperature based? Maybe. In which case, the machine likes it hot and uncomfortable.

So today? I have an art-related meeting, I’m going to try to finish the stitch down, I’m going to take a totally pointless shower, because I will be sweating instantaneously afterward. I haven’t had enough sleep, I have a massive headache, and it feels like there’s sand in my eyes…luckily it will just continue to be cooler in the next few days, the fire east of us is mostly under control, and I get to hang with art friends this afternoon. So those are good things. And maybe the federal government will release me next week too. Maybe. Or maybe I will have jury duty and then come home and be totally efficient afterward! It could happen.

I Turn to You, You’re All I See*

I didn’t get up early enough yesterday to write. I had to rush around dealing with animals. I went for my annual mammogram which was quick, easy, and painless. No really! It was. So I was convinced I’d have to go back in because they did it wrong. They also gave me this hairband for free. Apparently hair was getting into the scans and freaking out the radiologists, but they can’t reuse the hairbands.

So I tried to give it back, because you know, medical waste, reduce costs. But no. It’s mine now. We squish your boobs? You get a hairband. And everything was fine. Cleared until next year. Thank you.

Simba tryna make friends. Or just clean Calli’s nose. Hard to say.

Satchemo sleeping on my quilting chair. So I didn’t quilt for a while, because…respect for cats.

Eventually he left…this is actually the 4th of July…I finished the quilting around everything…

And then I started on the background…

And then I took a picture of these beetles mating.

And went back to working on the background.

Sewing around these embroidered trees was a little hairy…

Then we went down to Campland on the Bay for the show…this was the view behind me. It actually got cold eventually.

I do know I would never ever camp here…they’re packed in like sardines. It’s crazy crowded. And a lot of people who are not necessarily my tribe…I can handle it for an evening, but all of those kids are gonna be up at 5 AM…right next to your head. No way. But it was fine for the evening…I finished the wild dog, although I need to comb his fringe.

And then I finally started doing these crazy flowers…I’m on the July blocks? I think? But the instructions for the flowers are in the January instructions…which live in a notebook. So I finally took a picture of the instructions, then read the two sets of instructions (because it’s not exactly the same) like 300 times, and then did it and went OOOOHHHH.

Like that. So I have about 30 of those to do. I think.

This is the man doing his best impression of an old man telling you to get off the lawn…he was looking at the view behind me and all the crazy shenanigans people were getting up to when you’re at an urban campground in San Diego on the 4th of July.

I just tried not to look. Although I faced that way so I could duck when the kickball was headed toward me. Plus so many ways to desecrate the flag…and I don’t really care about that, but oh my eyeballs. At some point, you just laugh and shake your head and be glad you get to leave at the end of the concert.

Later that night, behind me were a million people and eventually about 5 different fireworks displays, which was cool…

It’s still not as cool as having them right over you though. It was a good show. The food was eh. Remember that for next year.

Girlchild asked me for a picture of us from when she was little. I sent her this…

Mom on very little sleep…looks like Thanksgiving (jacket, up at the mountains), so she’s about 3 1/2 months old. Ugh. The tired years.

Not that I sleep well now.

So yesterday, after the boob squishing (yes I know my brain is all over the map. Welcome to Kathy on Summer), I went to a friend’s air-conditioned house yesterday and had a hot flash from hell (I’ve been having lots of them in the last few weeks), so she had to turn a fan on me as well. And then I got cold afterwards because menopausal bodies are fucking insane. But I was trying to do stitchdown on this quilt. Because I started looking at the calendar again and I’m being fucking inept this summer.

But my machine’s tension was being a cranky ass bitch. So I kept having to stop and rethread and try to persuade it to work. Very frustrating. I did get almost halfway up (basically I’m about to do the uterus). So that was good. But it’s so freakin’ hot today, I don’t know if I’ll get any more done. I do sit at the machine with a fan right on me, but ugh…doesn’t feel like enough. If I ever remodel this room, maybe it will get air conditioning. Maybe. Except SDG&E wants us to reduce electricity use today (it’s supposed to be either 106 or 109 degrees, depending on which weather app you look at).

Last night, I finally got some balls done…in fact, I finished all of the second color, which was the Pekinese stitch. So that’s 2 out of 6 colors done.

Then I stared at the colors that were left and tried to decide which one was orange…and started fly stitches…

Seriously, the one next to it? Not orange. Blush. Ugh. Or maybe the pink one is blush. No, I think it’s pink. I don’t even know what the 6th color is. Whatever. No one but me (and Sue Spargo) will know. So not important.

Then my brain was hot and tired. But I didn’t want to not use the time. I feel like I’m losing time. So I stared at the blank sections of that drawing that’s been sitting on the light table for a long time, then figured out where to put the first line of waves (I’m taking two separate drawings that were put together in a long horizontal thing and I’m sort of stacking them and then adding and taking away).

Then I traced in the female figure, the hand, and the oil drums from the old drawing. There’s more going in…most of this base drawing is getting tossed though. And I have to decide where the bottom is and what’s going on the hill above it. There’s a couple of issues going on in the drawing…obviously some women’s issues, but also environmental. Currently it’s named Womanscape, but I don’t know if that will stick. Remind me when I don’t remember what I called it.

OK, today I am working for a while on actual school stuff, and then going into survival mode from excessive heat. I do have a pool…I wonder if I can put the sewing machine on a float. Except there’s a foot pedal. Hmmm. I need an engineering brain for this shit.

*Coleman Hell, 2 Heads

Lost Day

First of all, Happy Fourth to those who celebrate. I hope our country remembers its immigrant origins (and the people who lived here well before us white folks) as it celebrates. Maybe we can make the world a better place again. And not the way that orange-haired guy thinks.

Y’all know about lost days. You have plans and then everything gets turned upside down for whatever reason (car breaks down, someone has to go the emergency room, the water heater leaks all over the place, whatever) and the day goes to hell in a handbasket. So that was yesterday. That said, yesterday had some pretty awesome views for a good chunk of the way.

Yes, I drove to Mammoth yesterday to pick up the boychild and all his stuff (well, we shipped two boxes because my car is smaller than his, plus there were two humans in the car instead of one, so lost space). His car was a total loss. Well that sucks. Deep breaths. I left San Diego just before 5 AM…it took me about 7 hours to get up there (I had to pee, what can I say?)…

Apologies for the road views and the spot on the windshield…I tried cleaning it off multiple times at multiple gas stations. This is Highway 395, up the east side of the Sierras. California has beautiful mountains. I just put this trip (but a much more leisurely version of it) on my to-do list for future years…

There was a fire further up that added a lot of haze to the views…honestly, I got better pictures on the way back down, when I was the passenger. But those mountains…so beautiful and huge.

This is on the way back down…

I think it’s hard to grow up in California and move somewhere else that doesn’t have expansive views like this. I couldn’t live on the flat all the time.

Anyway, got up there, packed the car, shipped some stuff, ate some stuff, peed again, drove back.

It took longer coming back (those are the desert mountains in that photo…at one point, you’re flanked on both sides)…due to traffic. But not too bad. We got routed around one accident. Love map apps for that.

I really like this picture. Like I think I’m going to draw it…but add a figure or two somehow. Haven’t figured that out.

We got back just before 9 PM. LOOONNNNGGGG day. Yup. 14 hours in a car? Something like that. The dogs were thrilled he was back…this was Simba this morning, knocking on the door to be let in.

I did a little stitching while I was a passenger…almost finished the wild dog. He needs eyes and nose embellished.

That’s for today. The man’s band is playing down at the beach for the Fourth, so I’m taking a chair, some sunscreen, my stitching, my book, my sketchbook, some wine and snacks (hoping to get real food there), and I’ll hang out while they set up, watch the band, then we’ll fight the holiday traffic back home. Could be relaxing. I did lose yesterday. Nothing got done except what needed to be done, but that’s OK, because he’s home safe and stuff is dealt with. So that’s how life goes sometimes.

I don’t think there’s enough food in the house though.

A Place to Start

Empathy: a friend sent me an article this morning by Alisa Golden about empathy in art (you can read it here) and I was thinking about maybe that’s what the deal is with the quilters who want no politics with their fabric. Why do those of us who make more political quilts get upset with them? I don’t like to just write off a whole group of people with the “stupid” or “ignorant” label, but what I really think they may be lacking, or maybe just AVOIDING, is empathy. Putting yourself in the shoes of a mother who has been trying to get her children away from drug dealers and violence. Feeling like you need to find a better world to raise children. How is that hard to understand?

I had a student this last year with gang connections and lots of family pressure regarding that, and I said more than once, if I were his mom, I would pick him up, put him in the car without telling the rest of the family, and I would drive him far far away and not tell anyone where I was going, and I would raise him somewhere that those influences were not available. Because he’s 12. And he deserves a chance to grow up without having to fight a rival gang member or be surrounded by drugs and violence. And I realize mom probably doesn’t have the ability to do that financially or supportwise. It would take a lot of courage to walk away from everything you know and some of your own children to make that happen. So if I were really her, maybe I wouldn’t do it. But I do think about being her and being the mom of this troubled kid and how I would solve that problem.

So empathy. We certainly don’t have an empathetic president…or government in charge. If I listen to any more white men explain people of color, immigrants, gays, trans, or women to me…I try to avoid them, but occasionally their rhetoric slips through. I don’t have a lot of empathy for them. When I try to get there, I just feel their fear of change and loss of control and power. Geez. Find something else to get you excited then. White supremacists? I have a hard time with empathy. They probably have a hard time with me too. But this is what we need…to feel the humanity in all of us and to help people through the hard stuff without the NIMBY attitude. Ask them why they need to believe what they believe. Explain it to me.

So what does this have to do with art? Well, I guess that’s how I do the empathy thing…I put mine out there and hope it speaks to someone. It’s what I know how to do. Golden wrote: “Art is not just about the message. It is not only about the meaning or feeling or mood. It is also about getting outside of yourself and your own game and respectfully touching base with someone, somewhere else.” So if we can do that with our quilts, that should be a good thing.

I am incredibly lucky and pleased to not have jury duty this week…I’m even more pleased that they told me I had the whole week off, because I was all stressed out about gas in the car, food in the fridge, stuff to take with me, planning for something that might not even happen. I don’t do well in those situations. I like to know what’s coming. I handle uncertainty all the time, but every day? Yikes. No. So this week is free…which is good, because I already had 3 things planned and now I have 4. I would have canceled or moved them if I had to, although the two medical appointments are not so easy to schedule…so it’s a good thing I don’t have to.

One of the appointments is with a diabetes educator, because that’s the way I get to figure out how to use my new medicine. I went through the diabetes classes when I was diagnosed 16 or so years ago, and I’m pretty good at paying attention to what I should be doing…but my body is changing as menopause decides whether or not to be a thing (certainly yelling “Make up your damn mind, uterus!” has absolutely no effect on the situation), and I’m convinced by what I’ve read and understood about the whole thing that it is the hormones that are causing the majority of my issues right now. I am not exercising enough, that’s true, but nothing else has changed. I’m hoping the education comes with some sanity, because I’ve had some crazy thrown at me over the years…and when I try to say, um, no, diabetes is not caused by eating red meat…I get lectures or incorrect information. So I am trying to keep my mind open and not be cranky about being educated. Perhaps there is new information and they won’t just lecture me about my stressful job and my shitty sleep habits. Or not. They told me to bring my new meds too, but you inject once a week and I don’t want it to be on a Tuesday…it’s one of my busiest and most stressful days of the school week. So we’ll have that conversation. Show me without actually doing it. I feel like that could be a thing.

Boychild is still in Mammoth…there are worse places to get stranded, although this is one of the more expensive places to get stuck…

Apparently his dad and grandpa are on standby with a flatbed truck to go get him and the car if necessary. Sigh. Poor kid…finally decides it’s time to come home, and he’s stuck 6 hours away. Hopefully it will be an easy fix.

So I worked on this a little last Thursday and last night…on the wild dog in the center.

He’s a little blurry, but I did needleweaving over the brown dots…

I should find the instructions for those silly flowers…I know they’re in a different month. That’s why I haven’t done them.

After dinner with the parentals, I came home and quilted for a good long while…enough to get the dark outlining done. I started around the sun with a yellow…

Then I’ll do the stars with a golden orange, the background of the sky etc with a variety of off white and beige colors, and then finally the border in green. It’s not a small amount of quilting that’s left, but I might finish today.

When I got tired of that (I set a goal and met it), I came out to work on the drawing. I cut out the bottom of this viewpoint, because I wanted it to obviously be a penis, so it wasn’t long enough for the size I drew.

Fixed. That was easy.

I can’t get all this immigration bullshit out of my head, so it’s now in there too.

This quilt is more about women’s issues and women’s rights, but it seems like keeping one’s family together should be a right. I should put an American flag tattoo on the arm.

Then I drew the next of the pregnant women. She might be the last mostly full figure…we’ll see. The drawing is changing in my head as I draw (and watch the news…maybe should turn that off). I don’t know what her viewpoint is yet…

Still working on that. Added a cat. Like you do.

You can kind of see how it’s going here. I really am trying to keep it simple…ha!

Yeah. I should stop saying that. It’s not completely true. So I’ll keep working on this today.

So what’s on the table for today? Hope the boychild’s car gets fixed quickly. Go to the gym. Pick up the other dog. Hopefully finish quilting…I wonder if I bought binding fabric? Probably not. It was how many years ago that I sandwiched it? Two? I’ll go through the pile and see if I can figure it out. Then work on the drawing after dinner again. Let it percolate all day so I can make decisions. Have empathy for someone. Or lots of people. It’s a place to start.

Art on My Mind

I forgot to mention yesterday that I was watching and rooting for all the marches yesterday. I’m hoping that we as a country find a way to be more accepting and kind to all humans, no matter our own political bent. And I really hope that (a) we stop separating children from their families and (b) we reunite those kids who are separated. I don’t care about what the law says right now or which president we want to blame for it…just fucking fix it. Stop blaming people who are trying to escape shitty situations. Let’s help them. Take responsibility for humanity. The days of this country against that country really do need to be over. We are one world community and what we do and say affects others. It’s like watching your worst period of the day in middle school, the one that may even be your smallest class, but the least functional…listening to them bitch and moan and gripe, reworking every classroom behavior tool you’ve ever used in your life to try to manage them and get them functional again, even sitting in circles and singing to each other (dammit, sometimes that works…if you’ve never taught, then be quiet). We need to do that; we need to be that. No excuses.

So there’s that. Wait. That applies to the quilt world too. We all have quilting and a minor (or major) fabric obsession in common. Maybe that can be a way to make the rest of it better…for kids, for families, for the disabled, for the disenfranchised, for the groups who need help, need food, need shelter. If you are in the privileged party (hello y’all white folks like me), you need to be part of the solution…making it better, easier, safer. You don’t get to ignore it because you don’t think it’s about you, doesn’t affect you, you don’t believe it actually happens (I listened to a Mexican woman tell me children weren’t being taken away. I was confused by that.). Sigh. This political existence is stressful. It’s easy to try to ignore it…it’s hard to see solutions that work for everyone. A friend from high school just commented that he was willing to give up ICE if the Democrats were willing to give up the Department of Education. Well. Hmmm. Maybe he doesn’t know what that department does? Or maybe he’s rich enough that his white boy children won’t need federal aid. My kids got federal aid to go to college. A whole lot of people could never afford college without that aid. Pretty privileged idea…although honestly, with DeVos in charge, it’s hard to see the good in the department. Tell you what! I’ll give you DeVos in exchange for ICE. She can go. She’s mostly useless. But the department serves a purpose.

Sigh. So there we are. Don’t even get me started on the Supreme Court. Maybe my whole existence is political right now. I know many people where that’s true and they don’t even get a choice…refugees, immigrants, people of color, the trans community, anyone who doesn’t fit in the box.

Satchemo staring at me. I don’t remember what I was doing. Organizing shit.

Definitely drinking tea.

So I went around and around in my head about this drawing and how to take what I liked in two drawings and move shit around and get what I wanted. So yesterday afternoon, in between lunch and dinner, I taped two big pieces of paper together and started tracing the original woman from 6 or 7 years ago…because I liked most of her…

Then I was going to revise the uterus and the eyeball thing (viewpoint?)…and maybe move the arm on the right, because there was now more space…so I put the newer drawing up there so I could see it.

And I redrew the uterus (much better). That’s kinda where I left it last night when I went band-watching.

At the venue, I drew with one of the fam…she drew me…I’m the one at the top of the page (wearing my Rebel shirt)…she had her Sharpie going.

Eventually I started drawing too…

And finished that one…pretty good…

And I started another one…I was too tired to get up and dance. I was perfectly happy just sitting and drawing.

It forces me to do that. Being somewhere that I can’t work on cleaning house or yardwork.

So then this morning? No this was last night, I worked on finishing up the tree with the leaves. I might still revise the viewpoint thing.

The next solution to this drawing was to move the second figure further down a hill. So I turned the drawing underneath until I got the second figure at the angle I wanted, and I started drawing her…well, tracing anyway. Mostly.

I liked her…I just needed her to move. So this is as far as I got…

She still needs leaves and there’s this lamp in the middle of nowhere and then the hill and whatever is going on next. That’s a little bit more complicated.

Meanwhile, boychild’s car broke down in California somewhere…not close enough to go get him, but he may be hanging out in Mammoth for a few days. There are worse places to end up. Hopefully he didn’t totally kill the car. Sigh. It’s been one car problem after another in the last month.

So I’ve got a plethora of things to work on today…hopefully I will be able to continue tomorrow (knock on wood that jury duty doesn’t start tomorrow). I know I’m going to forget to check the website or call at some point. I need to calendar it. Just know that art is finally totally on my mind…so I don’t really feel like doing anything else.