Needlework and Seedlings*

Tired is catching up with me and passing me on the right, cutting me off so I slow down, and then speeding up to beat me to the finish line. It’s hard NOT to stay up late…I haven’t gotten more than 6 hours any night this week. Some of that is just that my brain keeps going at 900 miles an hour no matter what. Some of it is trying to get everything done. Ah stress and lack of sleep…the things my doctor keeps flipping out over…like I can control those. TEN DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT. Yeah. That. I’m feeling much better about grades getting done, but I still have a ton left to do. Just not as big of a ton. Some of the not sleeping is that little dog barking his mad head off in the middle of the night…I don’t know what animal is out there, but it was big enough to set off the motion-sensor lights this time. Assholes. And the mockingbird is back, but this is a new one. It sounds like mockingbird-on-crack. Pillow over head. Ugh.

I am SOOOO looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow morning and Sunday morning. Wake me up and I kick your ass. Unless you’re a dog. Because I don’t hurt dogs. I just get irritated with them. And honestly, probably we need to do a better job of getting the little one tired at night. Next week. Next week when I don’t have to be up early every damn morning. My principal has threatened an additional meeting next week. I’m hoping he forgets. Is there a voodoo spell for principals forgetting shit?

Weirdest question in sex ed this year (I teach 7th graders about reproduction etc every year) was “Do you have to do The Sex every time you want a baby?” Um. Well. OK. Yes. And let’s explain human nature and The Sex a little bit. It must be a girl asking? Or a very scared boy?

So I came home and entered an exhibit and ate some leftovers and installed a new Tivo (yeah well, I guess I made that decision) and then sat and finished cutting out Wonder Under…6 1/2 hours total. Pretty much the same as the last one.

I was hoping to save some time on this one…not. Then I set up to sort them, because it was only 11 PM. The big box at the bottom is all the pieces, and then each of the smaller boxes is only 100 pieces…it makes it easier when I go to iron if I’m dealing with only 100 pieces at a time. My process after a million years of doing it this way…it’s pretty efficient actually.

Forty minutes and one glass of wine to sort all 904 (plus or minus who knows how many) pieces…

In bed by 12:15? Not bad compared to most of this week…definitely feeling it this morning though. Tonight I can start ironing to fabric. Based on the last quilt, that took about 12 hours. Yikes. OK…I need to go faster. I can do 3 or 4 hours tonight. I know we will want to do some fun stuff tomorrow at some point…but if I can get 3 or 4 hours in tomorrow and finish up on Sunday (shee-it, when are you planning on grading shit, Nida? SHHHHHH. Quiet. I’ll figure it out. I have a plan. Maybe.). Need to be focused. Like a fucking laser.

Calli asking for some kind of attention. I think she’s got another UTI…sigh. Poor old lady. Her girl parts are kinda freaky for UTIs.

Hopefully she’ll be going to the vet today.

OK, so I have a plan…I am so SO looking forward to being done with school so I can sit somewhere and relax with my sketchbook without feeling like I’m supposed to be doing 17 other things. I don’t know when that will happen, but hopefully soon.

*Iron & Wine, Faded from the Winter

Catching It in a Different Order

I keep thinking it’s June. It’s not June yet. I just am panicking like it’s June. I should stop that. I’m being pretty efficient with like everything except sleep and exercise. Those aren’t happening right now. We got loaner computers so we can grade while the kids watch the pregnancy video. I really don’t know how to just sit and watch things. It’s hard.

You know what’s hard? And a totally first-world problem? My Tivo died. It’s OK. It was old. Although it took a bunch of stuff with it when it died (sigh). But then I spent 24 hours trying to figure out what to do about it. Get another Tivo? Get a different DVR? Ignore it? Assume everything will eventually show up on Netflix or Amazon? (It doesn’t). Sigh. Decisions. Difficult. But not really.

And even though we’re out of school relatively early this year, I already potentially have 4 teacher days for the last two weeks of June, dammit. Sigh. I took things on. I can’t not apparently. And July apparently belongs to the US District Court, so I’m trying to shove all the appointments into those two weeks of June as well. Eyelid twitching. Yup. There it goes.

I haven’t given up hope on getting this quilt done though. I graded all day in class, got about 20 minutes per period in, finished up two assignments completely, most of a third. I’m still watching videos. Need to rethink that for next year? Or revise? Not sure. Can’t think that hard right now. Which is interesting…because at some point, co-teacher and I need to plan next year…which means throwing it all up into the air again and catching it in a different order. Some day we’ll be easier on ourselves. Teaching this unit is pretty easy…done it enough times.

So yeah, even though I graded all day in class, I came home and graded some more. I just want to be caught up, whatever that means. I wish I had another week on this quilt…I’d be fine if I had another week. Sigh.

After grading, I cooked dinner…and then I kept cutting things out. It’s actually going really fast, which is nice…I’m about 3 1/2 hours in and I have one full yard and then maybe another third of a yard…unfortunately it’s a third of a yard with a lot of small pieces, which takes longer to cut out. There’s the puppy…

He’s a good couch dog…unlike this goofball…she was kicking me while rolling around in her sleep.

We’ve been watching the second season of The Handmaid’s Tale…it’s so hard to watch. A great show, but painful…and then because my students all binge-watched it, I’ve been watching the second season of Thirteen Reasons Why…ugh. It’s not bad…it makes some relevant points (episode 2), but then goes a little wackadoodle (episode 4). I have to remember I’m not the target audience…I just educate the target audience. Which can be hard…every year we have a student or two who does or says things that set off every alarm bell in my head, and it’s so hard to watch them go through the stuff in their own heads. And to worry about them. They’re our kids too…in a different way, but you still want to encourage them and keep them safe and sometimes beat them over the head with a pillow, just like your own kids.

So I finished cutting out the first yard, cut out all of the second yard, and that’s what’s left of the third yard…with a fourth yard lurking on the sidelines.

I think I should easily be able to finish cutting them out tonight AND sorting them. That puts me into ironing on fabric tomorrow night…hopefully finishing Saturday? Seriously. It’s gonna have to be quick. Much as my brain would like to stop dealing with school and spend some weekend time full-on relaxing, I can’t do that yet. I think I’ve got another 46 hours or so to put into this quilt, based on the last one…although I’m considering a facing of sorts instead of a binding…not sure if that saves time or not, since stuff still needs to be sewn down by hand, unless I do a pillowcase-type finish. Plus if it’s something I’ve never done before, that makes it take longer. You wanna know how many days I have left to work on it? TEN. Yeah. I know. But four of those days are weekend days (sorry mom, dad, but you’re not going to see me I think until later this month). But 4.6 hours a day? I’m really just hoping that I’m faster than on the last one, and also that it will just take less time because it’s smaller and has fewer pieces.

A girl can dream.

So girlchild posted this from Ithaca…I took this picture! Now of course she set up the camera and all I did was point and shoot. And then she looked at the picture and adjusted something (light) and made me take it again. I’m pretty impressed with her ability to take photos, actually. And I wish I’d moved slightly to the right so that guy in the background was gone…need to get her Photoshop so she can erase him with some additional greenery.

Anyway. Another early meeting this morning (this week is kicking my butt for those, but at least people will actually be AT this one, unlike the other two). Then more pregnancy videos and grading. Then home and grades and art. Wash Rinse Repeat.

More Than a Little Crazy…

Oh hellz ya a long day. Got to school early for a parent meeting where the parent didn’t show. Always nice. Then taught about pregnancy all day…certainly made about a million times more difficult by the fact that we don’t teach body systems any more. Then did tutoring for an hour, mostly sitting by one girl and listening to her mangle words…talked to her mom (well, mom didn’t speak much English) about having the girl read in English to her mom and her brothers and sisters. She says she doesn’t like to read. I asked about magazines and the library. Mom’s all for it. Drove out to my photographer’s, avoiding traffic (but not dumbasses) for once. Got my quilt…he called it “tame” compared to most of mine. OK then. House cohabitant asked me if it had a woman spreadeagled with vulva in full view or an obvious penis. Holy hell, this quilt IS tame. Interesting, because it doesn’t feel that way to me.

This is Heart-Shaped Box…

The first drawing was done in 2014 and had the two main figures in it.

The fireplace got added earlier this month? I think? No, in mid-April. That’s right. I remember now. I took the trip during Spring Break, and came back and started drawing this full size.

I added the fireplace and the backpack and the figure on the rug then.

The figure on the rug has been sitting in my head since July 2014, when I first drew this.

Weird how my brain works.

Calli is old, but she still plays…she was running around, throwing this up in the air for herself.

Weird dog. Then she slept for a good long while.

So after dinner, I graded for a bit…I can’t really ignore that. And then I finished tracing the new quilt…It took a total of 11 hours to trace the Wonder Under, and I think I did it all in the last week. Minus graduation weekend.

It’s a little less than 4 yards of Wonder Under. I found another double-numbered section. Brain fart.

And then I started cutting them out. If I base it on the last one, it’ll be about 6-7 hours of cutting…so 30 minutes last night…

Two or three tonight and tomorrow night, and hopefully I’ll be done by Friday night…sort them, and start ironing down over the weekend. Sheesh. I really don’t know if I can pull this off.

Simba just wants me to pet him.

Which I did.

I didn’t get far in 30 minutes last night…

More tonight. More of the CRAZY tonight, because this is more than a little crazy. Meanwhile, here I am, up early again, for another meeting (parent will show for this one)…just no repeat on the tutoring and quilt pick up today. I have two other errands instead, plus it’s my turn to cook. Twelve days of school left…

Hope

Blargh. Yup. Made it home. Functioning on very little sleep, due to small puppy thing asshole who doesn’t know how to let things move around at night without barking his head off. Kitten finally came down off Batting Mountain because her mommy was home. She whacked the crap out of her substitute parent while I was gone. Ahhh, calicoes. They are the devil incarnate sometimes.

The boychild has officially graduated. He is no longer a student. Now he is an unemployed wayward adult child (he really isn’t the wayward one) who hopefully will solve all his transportation problems today (the state of New York is truly anal about its car registration process), pack up all his shit, clean his apartment because all his roomies have left, and eventually head out to see his sister and maybe even come home. I don’t expect him soon, which is good, because I need to clean up all the quilts on his bed. I’m really proud of him for getting through 4 years at Cornell and hope he eventually figures out what to do with his life, although I have never been the best role model for that, for sure. Save the world! Cure cancer! You promised when you were 10 to build me a robot that would clean the house…WHY HAVEN’T YOU DONE THAT YET???

Girlchild is back in WALTHAM…she doesn’t live IN Boston, just near it…she has a few summer jobs, the major one starting on Monday. She’ll be busy, for sure. She’ll be home for a week in August…long time away, but we saw her this weekend. She was the main cook, which was nice.

I have early stuff at school every day this week. I have a quilt that’s at the photographer for a show I’m entering later this week. I have another quilt that probably can’t get done in time…but I’m going to try. I also tried grading all those kid videos, but had absolutely shit WiFi in Syracuse Airport and on the plane this time, so I was unable to get any work done all that time…which is frustrating, because really right now, it’s either work on school stuff or the quilt, and I obviously couldn’t trace Wonder Under on the plane. So there we are. I’ll get through whatever I get through…as always.

So here was our dinner and post-dinner gathering every night, which explains each one of the 40 or so mosquito bites I have…although most of them seem to be ankle biters…

Here in San Diego, our mosquitoes bite all over…so I find that intriguing.

Yet another of the awesome waterfalls we saw around Ithaca…this is Taugannock Falls.

We didn’t have time to hike down, unfortunately. We had to be out of our rental place and people were slow-moving, so we went back and saw this tree fungus for the first time (it had obviously been there all weekend)…

And then we separated. My ex went home to the Boston area with the girlchild (some worry about the car, we suspect, although he claims one-on-one time with her…also a plus), boychild went back to his apartment to figure all the packing and cleaning out, and I drove the parentals back to Syracuse, where we sat in an airport for a while…

Wishing I could get work done. It was an efficient trip back…just enough time in Philly to grab food and get on another plane, where I couldn’t work even more, so I read a lot. Which is fine…

As we started to land in San Diego…

I did one drawing on the plane, but it’s way over THERE and I don’t feel like getting up and photographing it right now.

Damn, my right eyelid is twitching like crazy today. I basically got home and had a glass of wine to shut my brain up and tried to go to sleep…about 17 times. Ugh. I’m tired. But happy for the kid. I’m sure NOW WHAT is looming large in his brain…hell, it looms large in my brain on a regular basis. I hope he has a cool and mostly trouble-free drive home, and gets to see lots of interesting stuff. I hope I survive the last three weeks of school and grades and finish that quilt. I hope the girlchild finally gets to move into the house where she’s living for the next year and she likes her new job and being able to eat something besides rice. I guess that’s the theme of today then…hope.

This Is Ithaca…

Y’all may have noticed I’m not where I usually am…Friday morning at OMG I’m not even usually up by now, I was on a plane with my parental units and my ex-husband (no really)…

I graded student videos all the way across the United States (it was easier than you might think…although the internet signal was iffy over the Rocky Mountains)…

Like right about here (good reason to look out the window rather than watch the spinning wheels of no video yet)…

That’s snow y’all. Three airports, two planes, one medium delay, and a not-particularly-short car ride later…we arrived at our AirBnb near Ithaca, New York…a property with 3 very funky and rustic cottages. The only table we all fit at is outside…

There’s lots of interesting in this place. INTERESTING…

That’s the nice bathroom…I actually didn’t mind the other one. In fact, I took a shower in it just fine.

This is not the shed I’m sleeping in (although it’s right next to what I’m sleeping in)…

The front porch, where I wrote most of this, ate my lunch, and graded a bunch of kid videos…apparently there’s a skunk living under this porch.

Well. Not apparently. We saw it multiple times.

Here’s the main cottage on the left, with living room, kitchen, and one of the bedrooms. To the right, is the nicer bathroom and another sitting area plus another bedroom…

I’ll have to get a better picture of where the girlchild and I slept. It’s behind me in this picture.

This is Blue, the cat who comes with the place.

He’s sweet and adorable…and more than a little pudgy.

Ithaca Falls…coming from a drought state, this stuff is freakin’ amazing.

Girlchild and I taking photos of each other…

My parents, helping each other on the path to one of the rivers in the area…

The clock tower at Cornell…which is where we are…and where graduation is…

I’ve stitched nothing. I’ve drawn nothing. I’ve graded about 110 student videos, with probably another 150 to go. Wow. OK. That’s depressing…well, I’m not going to think too hard about that. It’s OK. We drove a million miles away and found the boychild a car, so he can drive his stuff home. Graduation present…CHECK. Then we came back and obviously toured the school a bit, bought food, ate…and now we’re sitting outside, getting eaten by who knows what, drinking some wine, and debating the plan for graduation viewing tomorrow…with potential thunderstorms on the horizon for all day…minor issue.

My brain is pretty blank right now. I’m looking forward to seeing the boychild graduate. I’m eating some blackberry ice cream and hazelnut cookies. I’m listening to the girlchild plan her future, which is interesting. INTERESTING. More tomorrow? Who knows…I can’t even tell you all the stressful shit we’ve discussed tonight…if you think raising adults is easier than teenagers, I can’t agree. At least not this weekend…

So Better Take the Keys and Drive Forever*

So I’m set up to deliver the last quilt to the photographer on Thursday, so he can work his magic over the weekend. The deadline is next week, so I’m good. Then I’m going to fly out to see the boychild graduate. It’s a weird feeling to get to that point, not as weird as sending him off to college in the first place, but certainly feeling like OK, that’s it (except it’s not…it never is). I’m proud of him, of both my kids. They work hard. Neither is perfect, but they adult well…hopefully the next steps will work out for them, for what they want. That’s the hard part, though…looking back at my own existence. There were times when the shit was easy, and there were times when stuff was amazing, but there’s hard stuff too. Life is just that. How to get the moments of joy or even just peace out of having to work for a living and clean up cat poop and rush to the hospital and get cars fixed. All that crap. I’m trying to deal with some life insurance stuff, and honestly, I think it’s not really an issue right now, and it’s certainly not something I NEED to deal with while I’m trying to get through the end of school, but try explaining that to insurance agents. Whatever. I just don’t answer the phone (I can’t answer the phone during the day most of the time anyway). I’ll deal with it over the summer. Same with the lawyer I need to talk to. And a bunch of other stuff. It’s hard to look at your kids though and want them to have an easier time of it…it’s not something I can control…can’t even control my own life. I guess there’s a drawing or 10 hiding in that.

I woke up with a monster of a headache and realized I was running out of meds for that. Ugh. Nice start. Early meeting today and then math testing, science meeting, Apple store to try and deal with my dying battery issue. Long day. Come home, dehair and iron the newest quilt and pack it up for the photographer. Buy pain meds. Pack for the trip. Write sub plans. Watch about 5 1/2 hours of videos of students.

But meanwhile, there’s another deadline. There are always deadlines. I should find a way to get them out of my head. Although I’ve been making some amazing pieces on deadlines lately. I wonder if the frenetic need to make is related to work stress. Probably. My reaction is to come home and put my head in art-brain space. I’ve been averaging 15-20 hours a week of art since Spring Break. That’s on top of my 60-hour-a-week job. Yeah. A little nuts. But those 15-20 hours are the ones that keep me sane at this time of year.

So I had already started tracing this one a few weeks back…not sure why…just needed a break. Or I was already mentally debating quitting on the first one, because I didn’t think I could finish it. And then I finished it. So I was already in the 200s in tracing, which is good. I keep forgetting to keep track of where I stopped, but I know last night I finished the legs, did the pubic area, and then the entire abdomen area, intestines and all.

I just started the third yard of Wonder Under. I found 8 pieces I hadn’t numbered…they’re now lettered. But I also found a skip from 370 to 380…so there’s 10 pieces that don’t exist. My brain sometimes…I made it into the 500s. I think there’s only 800 and something pieces in this, so I could finish tonight…maybe. Like I said, long day, already got the headache. But there’s a chance of finishing. I traced for 2 1/2 hours tonight. More realistically, I will probably finish tomorrow night and start cutting out, although tomorrow, I need to go to bed early, so I can get up before it makes sense, fly across the country, and see my kids.

This is what it looks like late at night when Calli wants you to get up and take her out to pee. She sits there until you do it.

She is a good girl.

This is what I’ve been dealing with in sex ed.

I’m still trying to figure out how Yes Means Yes is math. Either he’s a genius or he has a massive learning disorder. I actually do know which it is…I’m just still boggling over that one and the card where a kid asked me if once you had the sex to make the baby, if you wanted another baby, did you have to do the sex again.

Boggled. Absolutely boggled.

Taking my headache to school, where hopefully it will run off in terror.

*Aimee Mann, Humpty Dumpty

A Nuclear Error, but I Have No Fear*

OK, well I managed to finish the current quilt last night, fully two nights earlier than I thought. Basically everything took less time at the end than I thought it would, which is interesting, because the earlier stages seemed slower than similar quilts of that size. It’s all a crapshoot…all the time I keep track of helps me estimate, but it’s never reality. That’s sort of the lesson I get out of life…you can guess what might happen, but life does its thing no matter what.

But first, we walked the dogs…they always need the exercise. So do I. These flowers are out again…they like it damp.

Someone left this by the trail…

After dinner, I sewed bindings and sleeves on for about 2 1/2 hours to finish.

There was a lot of sleeping going on around me.

Only three of the four come out here to sit. And that little gray one wanted to be ON the quilt. I said no. Pins in your butt, cat.

Eventually the two smaller ones left, but the big old lady was tired. And I finished the handwork.

I knew this one needed some ink…so I added that. Although now, looking at the picture, there’s more to do on that.

More cat butt. Cats are funny about whatever you’re working on…need to be right on it or in front of it.

Anyway, it’s done…and now I have to realistically see (or not so realistically, honestly) if I can finish the next one in time. I sort of mapped out time…and then laughed hysterically. Anyway, my plan is to get all the Wonder Under traced this week…and maybe start cutting it out. We’ll see. I’m also supposed to be grading stuff…but we had a major issue realized Sunday night about the websites the kids did. Hopefully we can fix that today quickly (ugh) so I can grade those. Not Panicking. Not Panicking.

I have work showing in Sweden, opening this weekend, part of the Feminism Now show that’s been here in San Diego and up in Los Angeles…mine is the top left…

So if you’re in Stockholm, check it out. I’m not in Stockholm, but a few of the artists are…

One of the things we taught yesterday as part of puberty was in response to the Santa Fe, Texas, shooting. If someone says no, then you’re not entitled to keep harassing them. I also taught about incels…and talked a little about what to do if you are feeling the way that kid must have felt to shoot people because a girl wouldn’t go out with him. Or what to do if your friend is really angry like that. TELL TELL TELL. Or snitch, as my kids call it. I didn’t gender the anger, but saw this quote later…

This world is really difficult sometimes. Especially when you’re trying to get a bunch of 12-year-olds out of vengeance mode…it’s something I’ve heard from them for the last week. If someone does something to them, like bullying, their response is to get back at them. I realize they’re still kids, but y’all need to get out of the video game and into human reality sometimes. And yeah, it’s mostly boys…a couple of girls, but mostly boys. Large disturbed sigh.

Today? Today is long. Teaching menstruation and ejaculation (oh my!) and then a science meeting and then at some point, I’ll be tracing Wonder Under. That’s a long way away though.

*The Clash, London Calling

Take a Walk on the Wild Side*

Yup. I skipped writing all weekend. It’s not because I was out doing totally amazeballs things away from technology, so I couldn’t check in and clear my brain (cuz that’s REALLY why I write, to do the brain dump thing…AND to keep me on task with the artmaking stuff). Nope. It was just because I was trying to get this quilt done…and I was pretty close to successful.

Friday night, I graded…and yes, that woman in the background was me. Totally.

But I only graded until it was time to head out for the musical event of the evening. This was in the parking lot where I left my car…

Everyone likes old signs.

Then to the Music Box for that band I follow…

It was a good show…might be because we got a VIP table this time. Much nicer experience…but not particularly cheap.

Came home and then hey…I was the one who fed all you bastards and threw balls and petted snotty-nosed cats. But I do not get all the love (actually, I’m OK with that)…

Saturday, I got up (eventually…it was a long, exhausting week)…and started quilting…outlining first.

And I outlined pretty much all day Saturday, on and off.

While on FaceTime with the girlchild, do you see the mouse? On the agave leaf? He was trying to get seeds off my weeds (see, having weeds is good for the ecosystem. Please tell my neighbors.).

Fascinating stuff. Back to the outlining. This usually takes the longest part of quilting, because I have to be (semi) careful and go (semi) slowly.

It helps that the machine behaved…always. This section will need inking too.

Then a late afternoon walk to clear the brain and allow my eyes to see in the far distance, instead of cross-eyed close up.

No coyotes out there this time. Well, that we could see.

Sometimes you just need to get out into nature. I need more of that.

I remembered to take a picture of the two backing fabrics. Told you they were obnoxious together. The fish one is at least 22 years old.

I bought three different fish fabrics to make baby bedding before my son was born. This was one that didn’t get chosen…and he’s 22 years old plus. Graduating this weekend. So it makes sense to use it now. Probably not gonna make a baby quilt out of it now.

More outlining…this is still Saturday…

I finished outlining around 8 PM…

Then out to dinner and this cat. Well, he was really close to my face. He didn’t want me to finish my book (I did anyway).

I was too tired at that point to keep quilting. So I read and then went to bed.

Sunday morning (still hard to wake up)…the background quilting was pretty basic. I just followed the board lines in the floor.

And did a big stipple thing on the wall. It took almost no time at all to be finished.

I trimmed it easily…

Went to the quilt store, bought binding, a fabric I think I’ve used somewhere else in a binding, but can’t remember where (it was the right shade of dark brown)…sewed the binding on after dinner, and then started the hand-sewing.

It’s going to the photographer on Thursday. So I need to finish sewing and do the ink stuff in the next night or two. And then get going on the next deadline. No problem! Seriously, I’m feeling kind of amazing at the moment. As long as I don’t think about school.

I did grade some on Sunday as well, but noticed a huge issue with what I need to grade…not sure how to solve it. Only panicking slightly. OK, a little more than slightly. Sleep was not my friend last night. This week will be a challenge…I think I’ve been saying that since February. No but this time I mean it! Laughing hysterically (maybe a little TOO hysterically) over here.

I think the quilting took about 5 1/2 hours and I’ve got 2 hours into the binding so far. So things didn’t take as long as I thought they would. I tried to pick a similarly sized/complicated piece to figure the time…but this one was apparently simpler and faster. That’s a good thing. I’m deliberately trying not to think about the other quilt in terms of time. Because grades will be due in the middle of all that. Plus 4 days lost to travel. It’s OK…I’m looking forward to seeing the boychild graduate from college. Seems like a fair trade-off. The other quilt will either get done in time or it won’t. Like all things in life.

*Lou Reed, Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Acting Steady Always Ready to Defend Your Fears*

Ugh. Braindead. Twitching eyelid. Mornings. Things I like: more sleep. Really, I think that’s not true. I want more hours in the day. But sleep sounds nice. It’s probably really nice to be asleep. Damn. It’s only Wednesday. Gotta get through relationship abuse (not personally…teaching about it), yes means yes, anatomy, and puberty before the weekend. We used to start on the first day with anatomy and totally freaked them out…but now we start a little easier and talk about liking vs loving. Already had to bring up repeatedly that it’s OK to love someone and NOT want to have sex with them. Sigh.

It was a long day…I have duty this week and I had tutoring yesterday too. I get home and I’m completely burnt out. I did sit down and calculate the hours it would take me to finish this quilt (approximately 31) and how many days I had (approximately 9…well…now 8). And I did some math and stared at the calendar. Then I calculated hours on the next one (100) and days I had (22? I think?). Um. Yeah. I then proceeded to work on this quilt, because I still think I can pull it off. I might be crazy.

Well, you already know the answer to that. I think I need to average 3.3 hours a night to finish. OK. Wait. I’m laughing hysterically. Last night, I did 2 hours and 50 minutes. I could have done more, but I was tired. So I took a break. Tonight I have more time.

I finished ironing the stuff on the mantel. That was easy.

Then I pieced the background and ironed everything down. That was also easy, although somewhat time-consuming. This quilt isn’t huge (it’s also not small), so it wasn’t too hard. I’m just realizing I’m totally gonna need thread for the background. I don’t think I have anything that will work.

Total iron down was 14 1/2 hours. When did I start? Thursday. Last night was Tuesday. That was fast.

And then I started stitching down. I got everything down on the floor done and started on the standing figure.

So that’s on my list for tonight…I don’t know if I need batting though. Damn. I should figure that out now. Because it’s closer to school than home. Ugh. OK. Thread and batting.

Calli on her daily ride back to my house, where she likes to escape the fence and run away to this house. Even though no one is there either. Weird dog.

OK, I’ve eaten and drunk most of my tea and I’m still exhausted. This job kicks my ass some weeks.

Is it realistic to think I will get this quilt sandwiched and pinbasted after school tomorrow, so I can quilt at class? Probably not. Sigh.

*Aimee Mann, That’s Just What You Are

Happiness Hit Her Like a Bullet in the Back*

Well today is the big day…the day we start teaching human reproduction and all the resulting crap to our kids. Are we ready? Well we never really are, although as far as attention span, this usually means we don’t have a problem for most of the rest of the year. That’s a plus. It’s a high-maintenance unit though, with not a lot of down time for the teacher. You can’t really set them free on the internet to explore a topic. So direct instruction for most of 5 weeks. Talking every day all day…let’s hope my voice holds up.

I’m so very tired, even with going to bed earlier…I think I can blame school. I’m really looking forward to a break. I guess that’s always true.

Anyway, I came home, walked the dogs, cooked dinner, and then ironed. I wanted to be done. It’s always like that…you wanted to be done or you were done. Or you knew you were nowhere near done.

We ate late so I started late. We ate late because I walked the dogs. So it’s like a cascade of late things. I started by ironing the fireplace…I needed it to be dark so the figures would stand out.

The female figure even mostly fit…I had to add two pieces of fire to make it work. It happens…stuff shifts around and doesn’t fit perfectly. I’m not particularly anal about perfect ironing. I make it work. You can make the pieces stretch or add stuff behind so it fills in.

At midnight, this is all I had left…a spider web, a key, and a candlestick in a holder. But I wanted to get to bed at a reasonable time…so I quit. I knew I’d have to piece the background before I could iron it all down anyway…so I guess that’ll be tonight.

He fit pretty well…I had one piece that needed shifting, but I just pulled it until they would stick together.

Looking good. Tonight I’ll finish the last little bits and get it all onto the background…and hopefully start the stitch down. I’ve spent almost 13 hours ironing it together so far. Like I said before, I’m not sure I can hit the deadline on this one. It’s going to be tight if it happens at all. Oh well. That’s the way it goes. I don’t think I’ll be able to finish the next one either, honestly. Sigh. I’m debating quitting on this one for a while and trying to get the next one done. I’ll think about that. I’m really on a day-to-day basis at the moment. Probably not the best plan if I have deadlines. Tonight I’ll analyze my remaining time and make a decision.

There was sun yesterday morning. Satchemo found it. The chair is holding his head up.

There’s no sun this morning. Poor kitty. I wanna be a kitty some mornings.

*Florence and the Machine, Dog Days Are Over