Sitting here waiting for health insurance chat to answer. So much wait time with health stuff. That’s not going to get better. And I’m glad to have insurance. Health stuff is stressful. Time-consuming. Expensive. Crucial. It’s so easy for some people to say, well get a job, then you’ll get healthcare…not always true, not always possible. My household includes someone who’s been trying to get a job with physical restrictions for over a year, and it’s not as easy as J.D. Vance and his compatriots think it is. People with disabilities who may need support at work; they just don’t get interviews, or they get one and then get ghosted. It’s stressful for all of us to see that and live with it. But hey, we’re not rich, so we don’t matter. We’re gonna die anyway. The politicians…sigh…I mean, at least Lisa Murkowski was honest about doing what’s best for Alaskans, but in doing so, fucked the rest of us. The rest of those who voted for that bill? What is wrong with them? Some complain and then vote for it anyway? And now the government is refusing to send all the education money that Congress allocated. As someone in a Title I school, where kids live in a variety of not-great situations, I’m worried; no that’s not a big enough word for what they’re doing to kids, to families who struggle, to anyone of color. I don’t get it. I’m scared by it. Worried is not a big enough word.
So in all that, I make art. And try to get control of my diabetes. And worry about the things growing in my boob. And worry about my cat…she’s old and not doing well, especially with the heat. Worry about my job. New boss. The damn sprinklers. How to paint the shed when one wall is right against a chainlink fence. Obviously need to make more art, exercise more.
Finished numbering.
Did you guess? I guessed 1500 based on where I was and how much was left. I was wrong…it’s 1366…
Give or take a few, because I always miss something or double number something. Not a ton, but a lot. A goodly amount. I could have filled the sky in and got more, but I kind of didn’t want to. So I didn’t.
Last night, I started tracing…
I’ll be there for a while. Like 12 more hours probably. Which is fine. I’d like to get myself to a place where I’m tracing for more than an hour a day, but so far, there’s been too much other stuff to do. I spent the last two days planning with my science partner, about 8 hours total. It looked a lot like this…
Well, and there was other stuff, but this is the only picture I took, and I took it because I realized when I moved all the files, I wouldn’t be able to find them in all the other files because most of them had illogical names. I can delete this picture now. THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE IT WILL EXIST.
Anyway, I’d like to say that my 8 hours (it was more than that; I did some at home too) of unpaid work was all I needed to do for school this summer, but that’s not true. We’re meeting again in August. We did well, but my late August/September self will be happier if I do a bit more specific shit. But not today. Today, I need to go to the ceramics studio and underglaze. I know I broke something on Friday. I felt it. Like every fucking time, I’m breaking shit. Sigh. And there will probably be a bunch of people there, but I couldn’t handle going the last two afternoons…I was so braindead after working, so I didn’t go. Oops. Oh well.
That political shit again.
And the amount they want to spend on ICE? Just terrorizing people who are actually trying to be legal and paying taxes and all that shit? Who aren’t committing crimes? So fucked up.
Attempting to ignore the political crap is impossible. I can hide in art, but my art is also political, so it’s not always hiding in a non-stressful way. Ah well. I can try to eat better and make art and clean the house and take care of the cat and paint the shed. I mean, that might be all I really can do at the moment. And I know that should be OK, but it’s not. Not for the planet or the country. OK. Going to ceramics…soon. Then I’ll just do what I can.
Kathy Nida 