Too Much Uncertainty

Eleven days. Everyone I run into assumes we are done with school (because everybody else is). We’re not! When I say, nope, still doing the things, they’re like, “Well, you’re out this week, right?”. NOPE. Not even next week. Although next week is the last of the teaching parts. After that it’s just promotion/end-of-year chaos. Grades. Fun stuff. Cleaning my classroom, and for me, trying to get ready for the beginning of the year, since I’ll miss out on two of the prep days. It’s not nothing getting through these days. Kids are done too. Tempers are high, emotions are frazzled, and that’s just the adults. I even have a teacher who assumes I’m doing nothing, that the student we share can skip my class, my academic class, to come hang out. Problematic. This kid isn’t promoting. He needs to be in class. On time. I think we fixed that issue, but sheesh.

Anyway. Getting there. Getting there with the art stuff too. I cut out borders for another dye painting the other night…haven’t sewn them on yet, but getting there. Getting there with the trimming of Wonder Under pieces too, despite Scribble’s need to be on my lap while I do it.

I cut out the rest of a yard on Monday night…and then most of a yard last night…

She is not helping. She bats at the pieces if they’re too interesting. Left bin had to increase in size to accommodate all 1400+ pieces. Between the bins is the rest of the yard…I didn’t stay up for another 30 minutes to do that because I had to be up early this morning for a meeting that has all of a sudden become more interesting by what I saw on the agenda at 9:30 last night. The right bin is all the trash, which I keep until everything is ironed to fabric, because sometimes I drop a piece into the wrong bin.

Then Scribble, who most definitely is not a kitten any more, is on my lap. Notice how I match my socks to my outfit.

My foot? Yesterday was sore again. This morning, woke up and it’s fine. I have a 7:30 AM (shoot me now) appointment tomorrow morning with the podiatrist for him to yell at me, give me a list of shoes and exercises, and hopefully we solve this by going on summer break. Or not. I don’t know what set it off.

This is really what Scribble wants when she sits on me.

The Man said she just started rubbing up against his legs and asking him for pets, which is good, because I’m going to be gone a long time in July/August, and she’ll need to get love from someone.

I also finally made it back to ceramics yesterday. Limping and on crutches is no way to try to move this beast from my shelf to the table and back. In case you’re wondering how I design for clay, I don’t. I am driving over to the studio and my brain says, “What’s going on that other arm? I don’t know. What about this? Eh. What about that? Meh. What about doing sgraffito on it? Oh yeah, let’s do that.”.

So I underglazed the arm to be sgraffitoed (hoping it’s not too dry) and did some more on the fabric.

I suspect the heart that will go on there is ready for the bisque kiln, but I figured I’d give it another week just to be sure. It’s pretty thick. I don’t want it to explode. I did poke a hole into the center. I really need this bisque fired before I leave for almost a month. So that’s a goal. I also wish I had built the hands better, but there were issues with timing and their getting too hard, so this is what we have. I’ll be back there maybe Friday? Simba needs to have his teeth cleaned; I don’t know the pickup time. So that might be a no. We’ll see.

Gubernatorial election in California? Sigh. I’m so disappointed with how government and politics are (not) working these days. Seems that may continue. Too much uncertainty.

Today, I am finishing up a gravity/mass demo in class that involves a hula hoop, lycra, and a bunch of marbles, plus kids trying to orbit with said marbles. We’ll see if I get them all back. Then black holes/stars, which I don’t know enough about and wish I did. But first, weird meeting in the AM. And pilates at night. And trying to get as much grading done as possible (so close!). And cutting more stuff out, probably with Scribble on my lap (pros and cons to that).

That Should Be Enough…

OK we only have two full weeks (and a short one) left. It doesn’t make this week easier, mostly, because we’re still here, trying to teach, while students dream of summer vacay (trust me, y’all…we also are dreaming of this…we’re just capable of dreaming AND working). I woke up this morning, and my foot is behaving (knock on wood). Not even any pain (in that one, ironically, let’s not talk about the other foot). Weird shit, bodies. I managed to pick up three pieces from the photographer yesterday and get them entered (the deadline was today). And I did art this weekend. All good.

I traced Friday night…

I was close to the end…about 150 pieces away.

Foot was still hurting Saturday. We had to go grocery shopping and I took the crutches because they force me not to limp and destroy all my other muscles, which is part of what happened last week. Everything hurt.

Saturday night, I finished tracing…5 full yards and a little bit of one.

Scribble guarding them. And I started cutting them out.

Usually I can do about a yard a night, but I started late, had to be up early Sunday for an art meeting, and had that funny little bit to do as well, so I’m already off my easy tracking plan.

Last night I finished that yard and got about a 1/3 of the way through another.

Friday night, I should be sorting them, ironing Saturday…I hope. Lots of busy weekends this month though…but also, school will end. I have to get this to a good place before I leave for Oregon. For some definition of ‘good place’. I also started the borders of the next set of dye paintings I’m going to finish, but I didn’t take any photos. Yes, I bought more fabric for those, because I don’t have enough of anything in my stash to work.

The local fabric store usually has an awesome stash for this stuff, but they have downsized and their stash was not as awesome as before. It does not bode well for me and my batik habit. Maybe it bodes well for my finances.

Local wildlife…the two (blurry) young coyotes who ran through my yard, over my fence, into my neighbor’s yard, over their fence.

The hawks were out in force. This one has something in its talons.

Two of the owl babies are racing around, flying everywhere. One is still staying back, I think. This is so early for release.

Our own wildlife…Scribble loves this bed.

Simba was at the ex’s house with the boychild…and Annie.

Peaceful moment for them.

This is my brain on the regular, especially last week.

I actually didn’t lose my mind over the foot/brain stuff for too long. I prefer to make art and read books.

Especially when I see this.

So frustrating. As is this.

Any other president and we wouldn’t be speculating like this.

Anyway. Teaching space this week still, focusing on mass and gravity. So a simulation today, a demo tomorrow with help from kids. Leaving the crutches home. Frustrated about my district/principal. Not sure who came up with the busywork we’ve been assigned for 2 hours after work, but it’s already been done, just not in this format. Differentiation for professional development is not a thing in my district. So quietly simmering and trying not to. Trying to think about getting stuff set up for tomorrow and finishing grading and getting myself back to my art instead of considering my WHY. If you’re a teacher, you’ll get that reference. But if my district/principal are not telling me why I need to do this thing, then WHY do I need to do it in this format? It already exists. If it’s for me and my department, that should be enough. Right? Anyway. We know how these arguments go. Rarely on the side of the worker bee.

Short Week…

Woo Wee what a week. Short week. Kicking my butt. I’m currently on crutches, just scheduled another brain MRI, waiting on podiatry, and dammit, I need to go take my antibiotics…hold on…be right back. Luckily, it’s Eid, so half the school has been gone…a few more came back yesterday, and we’ll get a few more back today (and lose a few more because it’s Friday…certainly some kids are NOT gone for Eid, just based on their last names). A couple of kids I think believe school is already done, because I haven’t seen them in two weeks. Fun times. I wonder how they function as adults sometimes. I hope they figure it out…and I know sometimes it’s parents making those lovely decisions. Sigh.

Anyway, to summarize, on antibiotics for a UTI (haven’t had one of those since I was pregnant with one of the kids who are now late 20s, early 30s), then woke up in the middle of the night unable to put weight on my left foot (probably a really bad flareup of plantar fasciitis; haven’t had that for 20+ years)…here’s my cankle at urgent care Wednesday evening…

I don’t think it ever got swollen when I had it before. Not like that. That warranted crutches. Probably need a boot…found my old one and it’s definitely very worn and has way too much velcro and padding. Sigh. Acupuncture? Frozen bottle of water? Tennis ball? IYKYK.

Also, Wednesday morning, I had this weird visual disturbance (weirder than the one I’ve had for two years now) and ended up on the line with the nurse triage, who originally said go to the ER, but then the symptoms stopped, so she said, uh, contact the neuro-opthalmologist you saw before, so I emailed. Got to work, got a call from my primary doc telling me to go to the ER until I told her symptoms were gone and I’d contacted the eye doc. Eye doc called during Period 1 and scheduled me for the end of the day, so I went for 90 minutes of testing to find out I had a typical migraine aura without the headache (damn lucky there) and the retinas were still fine and there were no weird things that weren’t already weird in there. Then down to urgent care for the crutches (x-rays show bone spurs…woo! I think it’s the other foot though, different from 20+ years ago). MY GODDESS. CAN WE JUST NOT. Apparently my body is ready for summer break; it’s gonna take me out for the last few weeks. Dudes, we have 2 1/2 more weeks…14 days of actual school, 4 of those are not teaching days. I just need to be able to walk and make art and see. And pee when I need to. (UTIs are common for teachers…I’ve been lucky).

The foot was better yesterday. This morning was a little hinky, but I’m sure being on crutches to get to the bathroom is OK (really rather not, y’all. Really rather not.).

Tuesday night, I traced. The foot wasn’t as bad Tuesday night and I have a pad I stand on and I really lean on the light table when I’m tracing anyway, so very little weight on the foot.

I iced and elevated for 2 hours before that. I wanted to go to ceramics but there was no way I was getting my 25-pound sculpture off the shelf and limping over to the table with it. The Man just wants me to rest nonstop and I can’t deal with that.

Wednesday, I spent 3.5 hours at the doc, between urgent care and eye doc, so I was in a lot of pain and exhausted. Iced, elevated, honestly cried a little, very frustrated. Eventually cut these out because standing? Not so much.

Scribble was so helpful.

Honestly, I moped for about 2 hours and then I’m like, what CAN I do? I can cut out all the stuff I’ve already traced and get a head start on that, tried to have a good attitude, took pain meds, went to bed, and it was better the next day. Took pain meds all day…stayed off my feet (watching student presentations)…and I was able to trace last night.

I’ve made it halfway through the 1100s. Yes, there are over 1400. But hoping to be done this weekend. Slight slowdown due to stupid body making demands.

I also worked on this, the first flower of 16 in the border of Homegrown (Sue Spargo).

I’ll be done in 2035. Maybe.

I got this from the doc’s office (on top of all the other stuff).

That’s mostly because of my mom’s breast cancer (which is fully in remission). But you know, I breastfed my two kids for a total of about 3.5 years, and I want to know what my discount is for that…because they always said it would reduce your chances of breast cancer. But this damn risk assessment model doesn’t give a shit about that. Annoying. I want my credits.

And guys, here’s my residency location from another view.

Oh man, can’t wait. I’m in the smaller cabin on the left in the middle. That’s a dock on the left by that tree. There’s a person sitting on it. Can you see me sitting there? I fucking can.

Also, I’d be there, but the crutches are slowing me down. It’s fine. I can handle it. Today, we are hopefully getting most of the presentations done (in my rolling chair)…solar system, planets, gravity, mass. Then home to ice and elevate and then trace some more. All day tomorrow hopefully…canceling pilates again (sigh). Maybe. Grading stuff. That will go away soon too. Never too soon. And it’s Friday, so that’s a relief. Short weeks aren’t necessarily easier.

An Impossible Task

Yes, it’s not Monday. I was supposed to write yesterday. I remembered a few times during the day, but was trying to do stuff. I was not well on Saturday, Sunday still recovering, probably still recovering today, honestly. Seems like my immune system decided it wasn’t gonna work last week. It’s fine; I got antibiotics Saturday and I’m pretty sure I’m OK now (taking ALL the antibiotics until they’re gone, because let’s follow directions, y’all), but when they tell you to go to the ER with certain symptoms and the meds cause some of those symptoms…it’s fun times, y’all. Also, like, what IS a fever? So a lot of second guessing and kind of what feels like a waste of a weekend, thanks body for that, but all a necessary part of the whole life game. Better now. Mostly. Didn’t get to hike. Didn’t get a lot done. Sigh.

I couldn’t fall asleep last night, brain just whirring along, dragging me along with it. Yes, I meditated. I counted to 10 with deep breaths about three thousand times. It was just an impossible task. Sleep because you know what the week brings. Nope. Not happening. Ah well. Move on and caffeinate.

I did trace, despite the illness. Meds helped. Originally, going into the weekend, I had this crazy idea that if I traced for 3 hours each day, I could finish tracing this thing. Or maybe 4 hours. Like I had nothing else to do. I mean, it turned out that it didn’t matter if I had other things to do…but…here’s Friday night.

Made it up onto her left arm…then Saturday night, after the meds kicked in…

Oooh, here it is with the light off…

That might have been Sunday night…oh wait, no, this is Sunday night…

That’s all the Wonder Under I’d traced so far. The three on the left are mostly full. I’m working on the one on the right. I forgot to take a photo last night. It looks the same, y’all. Every night, it looks the same…I just have more things drawn on the Wonder Under. I made it to the mid 900s last night (not done, not at all done). If I keep up the hour a night, I won’t be done until Saturday night. One of the things I thought about last night in the multiple hours I wasn’t sleeping is how far I would get on this piece before I left for Oregon, and the answer is, not far enough to come back and finish it and photograph it before the deadline I’m aiming for, SO. I will have to ramp it up. Knock on wood. Get more schoolwork done at school. Like I can wish for that, but making it happen is a different thing.

I did make it to ceramics yesterday, which is good, because I missed two Fridays in a row. The heart is out on the drying racks (they finally cleared a bunch of stuff off of them…still no room for the torso unfortunately). I’m trying to finish up the building part on this so I can underglaze it.

I added stems and leaves and decorated a bit.

One more arm and then it’s ready for underglazing. That’ll only take 300 hours.

This is where I’m at, but add the California primaries with 62 (?) people running for governor, and the top two Repugs are really disgusting. I mean it sucks being in the US right now with the government we have, but California has been a bit better…big enough to be its own country, and no perfect governor, but not one with his head up the orange ass. We voted on Monday. Glad it’s done, but it did not reduce my stress.

Deep breaths. We’ll know in a week who the top two are. If they are both Repugs, then fuuuck. Is all I have to say.

Then this…

There must be a better way to power AI. It’s not leaving. Can we get the great minds onto how to better use it and power it, so we’re not using human resources to power little boys putting girls’ heads on naked women’s bodies? Is that a thing? Can we do that? Probably not.

Here watch some baby owls learning to do things…

Cute, right? Loud. They fly away a lot these days and leave partially eaten rodents all over the yard. Bleck.

OK. The kids are doing a research project on the planets today, because my past self was trying to take care of this week’s self. Good plan, because I can hopefully grade while they’re doing that. Low-key week for the win. Plus only 4 days. Plus no science interviews, thank goodness (we did 9 last week? 8? I forget. Tired of hearing the same key words over and over again, especially the guy who pointedly looked at me and said he had learned all the new science tech stuff for teaching kids, including…wait for it…EXCEL SPREADSHEETS…like WTF guy…those have been around since I was in school. Nothing new there.). Plus more ceramics after school to make up for not going Friday, then grading and dinner and tracing, at least 90 minutes please. Maybe more. We’ll see. This is the end of May, y’all. The end is coming (of the school year…not the world…yet).

You Think You’ve Got It…

Hey ya…running through my brain…I guess I need a soundtrack to get going in the morning. And all day. Into the night. Actually, I never really have a problem with the staying up late part. I’m not good at the rest of it. I swear yesterday felt like Friday…it’s not fair to have another one. At least there’s no assembly today, right? A few more are suspended, a few more coming back (I think?). It feels closer to the end than it actually is? I keep having to tell myself I’m not done yet…I have to teach actual science for another three weeks. Like I told the kids: one more unit (short), one more homework, one more test. And a bunch of other shit. When you get to the egg drop, you know it’s time to stop learning science (and that’s three weeks out). Meanwhile, I’m still grading and lesson planning and cleaning up and copying shit and handling issues and managing time and interviewing a bunch of kids who have never ever taught before and wondering how they would survive my challenging school, and realizing I was one of them once. And I survived. 23 years of surviving.

It’s all good; we’re getting there.

I’m still tracing. I make a goal of 100 pieces a night. Sometimes 100 pieces takes me less than an hour, sometimes more. So really, it’s about an hour. Little pieces are faster and generally easier to draw. Big ones take longer.

Wednesday night, I got to the 300s…

With Scribble. Who had to be persuaded to lie on that part while I drew on this part. Here’s what we got done…

Last night, she mostly stayed out of it…tried to sit on it a few times, got moved, play-whacked me, moved off, came back, put paws under things, got bopped on the nose. They all learn eventually. I don’t mind her up there, but I have a job to do and she can’t get in the way of that. Kitten learned but loved to lie on the glass, but was also respectful and didn’t whack things. Or tear things. Or bite things (except pencils, which is allowed, as long as it’s not in my hand at the time).

I got to the 400s…so there’s at least 10 more hours, maybe 11 before I’m done. Some part of my brain is like, you have a 3-day weekend. You could do it. And I could, but I also need to do yardwork and grade and hike. So there’s always this balance.

See that bird? I forget they can do this crazy shit, holding onto trees without a branch. Need to draw one like that sometime soon.

Need to ask the Man what kind of bird that is (it was in his feeder).

This is so where I’m at.

The crows are definitely out and about these days. The crows, the owls. I’m in.

OK. Teaching the solar system (fast version) today. Lots of talking unfortunately. Then more science interviews. They get old, y’all. Yes, you recent grads can parrot all the vocabulary, but it’s silly asking them all these questions about stuff they’d do when they have no clue. It’ll be interesting to see how it goes today. No ceramics today; I won’t be done with interviews until after 5 PM and will probably be exhausted. I mean, I’m already exhausted. It’s not like today will be restful. Then I’ll be tracing later. I have a 3-day weekend. I do expect some art time, but there’ll be some other stuff too. There always is. It’s nice to have the extra day though. Appreciate that.

Focus on the Owls…

Midweek. Testing week. Warm week. Lots is going on. Science state testing. Science department interviews. Juggling doc appointments. Trying to fit everything in. Crazy to even try, right?

OK, I underglazed the heart for the ceramic sculpture I’m working on.

I still need to finish decorating the arms and then underglaze the torso, then get started on the head. There’s still nowhere to dry the torso, which is part of my problem. I might need to finish it before starting the head. Problematic. I have a neck sitting on the torso and am trying to keep it from drying out.

Meanwhile, I’m tracing the newest quilt…

It’s going well except for the part where Scribble tries to dive under it or sit on it and tore the drawing in three places.

Last night, I seemed to be able to persuade her to stare at geckos and attack her brother instead. Hopeful. Made it into the 200s last night. I’m going to be here for a while…1200 more pieces, to be exact. Also I’ve found at least 5 pieces so far that weren’t numbered, so I’m thriving. Really.

So I’m working on that every night, thank goodness, because it’s meditative and I need that.

The owls babies are all out and flying around the neighborhood, although there seems to be one that is always on the box. But I think there are three now. So check these videos out.

Definitely three…just don’t know if one is mom. I don’t think so.

Apparently they go to bed at about 5:30 AM.

So cool. Anyway, I have to run a short union meeting this morning. We have state science testing. The kids leave early. We get to go out to lunch, and then grade, and then interview. I have pilates. And more grading. And then tracing. It’s going OK, but I feel like I don’t get anything else done but that. So I might have to water some things and plant some seeds and weed a little. Also, I’m not sure the boychild is coming home today. Don’t tell the dog. Fires abound. It’s only May. Not enough rain. Focus on the owls, though. They’re pretty cool. I like to think I’m helping the barn owl population in my area. Which helps limit the gopher/rat population. Also good.

Tracing Things…

I’m supposed to be dressing like the 80s today…you know, neon, leg warmers, big hair…but I didn’t dress like that in the 80s. I was thrift shop, sewed it myself, leaning toward suburban punk. I don’t own 80s wear. So I’m wearing a Keith Haring shirt to commemorate all those who died of AIDS in the 80s…also wearing red, to protest my school district’s refusal to bargain. Fun day. They’re doing a Field Day instead of a staff meeting, because apparently we’re stressed and very busy and competition helps with that. The end of school is always such a crazy mess…this isn’t helping.

I dropped three quilts off for photography yesterday. I’m entering a show with them; we’ll see if they get in. I started tracing the next big one onto Wonder Under, but before I did that, I traced this little one that needs to go in a ceramic piece.

It won’t take long to make this little one.

I finished drawing the new big one Friday night…

I think I actually added stuff after this…

Oh yeah, a crow or two and some body bags.

I numbered it Saturday night…I thought it was around 1300 pieces, but no.

1454 pieces, assuming I didn’t miss any or double number things. I’ve done both.

Last night, I started tracing…

Exciting for Scribble apparently. I had to move her off the Wonder Under a few thousand times.

Barely started. A million pieces to go.

My piece for Soul Stories: Threads of Existence is at the New England Quilt Museum in Lowell, MA. It’s been there since mid-April, but they had the ‘opening’ this last weekend.

Mine is the blue one on the left. There’s some amazing work in this show. It will travel to Birmingham, England, in August.

Besides art, I ran a lot of errands this weekend. Fun times. Shit that needs to happen. Some of it was fabric-related. I did finally start stitching the border flowers on Sue Spargo’s Homegrown. It’s all sewn together, so it’s big and not great for taking to meetings.

It’ll take me a while to finish this.

The little dog and I hiked on Saturday. The weather was lovely.

The rattlesnake was not. It didn’t even warn us until after it had moved back into the brush.

I did pick up the dog. His eyesight isn’t great and I didn’t want him lunging after the snake anyway.

The baby owls are out and flying around the neighborhood (sorry for the noise, y’all).

Much faster getting out and about than last year’s only, who hung around for weeks. I think this is still their homebase though.

I obsessively check the weather where my residency will be. Not sure why. Planning anxiety. I did order a bunch of stuff for the trip over the weekend. But look at the 15th.

Somewhat disturbing. Otherwise, the weather is not a lot different than here a lot of the time. A little colder, but it’s over 4000 feet in elevation. So that’s why. Summer will be warm.

Simba is irritable that Bowie is in his spot. Bowie is actually in MY spot and I am in Simba’s spot.

Whatever works.

Here’s a plan for the day…and the world apparently.

And here’s another way-too-real message…

Followed by this one, for San Diego and the rest of the world.

Way too real.

OK. Today. Teaching the last of evolution before the state science test on Wednesday (math is tomorrow). Then I’m probably missing the field day for an eye checkup. Still getting flashing lights in the right eye, over a year after vitreous humor detached. Then hopefully ceramics? And some stitching and grading (not in that order) and tracing. Getting close to the end of this year…that’s a good thing. They don’t seem to be getting easier. The adult part…the kids are fine (well, as fine as they’ve ever been…they should put their phones down more often). Gonna need more caffeine to get through it all.

Cocooning…

Friday. Last Friday of Winter Break. I’ve been really out of it this break…not sure why, although I can blame some of it on being sick for the middle third and then feeling like I never caught up. I’m never ready to go back, so it’s a moot point to say it again, but here I am. In terms of classwork, I have one class of packets left to grade, one whole academic assignment, and two smaller one-class assignments. Plus I need a worksheet done by Thursday and my notes from December make no sense. So there’s that. Fun times. I might figure that out this weekend. Or not. I’m not really motivated to get ‘er done in terms of school, except to finish the grading because progress report grades are coming up. Soon. And I have this quilt to finish, plus the deck railings, which are taking forever to paint. It’s been wet and cold and nothing is drying until today, when it’s still cold, but there’s a breeze and that’s helping. So I have three coats plus primer on 3/4s of the sides and I need to do the other side. I was hoping this project would be done by this weekend, and that’s not happening. It never does. Seriously. DIY is torture. School feels the same way sometimes, and so does housecleaning.

I did manage to finish trimming all the Wonder Under; honestly, I finished the first large chunk of it in the first day, then the last little bit last night.

Scribble slept through most of it.

Then after I finished trimming last night, I sorted them all…

At this point, Scribble was less than helpful…she kept seeing shadows under the bins and shoving them apart to get to them.

Fun times. I managed to get it all sorted despite all that.

I also bought background fabric, so I’m hopefully ironing down to fabric starting tonight. The office is a bit of a mess, and I need to fix a pair of pants first, plus put away fabric from the last quilt and move some stuff out of the way so I can get to the fabric bins. But it’s not a lot to do. Hopefully I’ll finish ironing to fabric in the next week and start trimming. We’ll see how that goes with going back to school.

I went out to meet stitching friends last night…this one is almost done.

It’s the 9th tree in Sue Spargo’s Rooted, so the last of them. Plenty left to do on it.

You’d think when it’s this cold that all the cats would be curled up. This was only because Bowie wanted the blue blanket and me.

And Scribble was already there.

Babies sleep a lot.

Anyway. Next step in the quilt. Scribble tends to follow me, so presumably she’ll be in the office while I iron. She’s set herself up before in the sleep spot Kitten used to frequent.

I wish I had something insightful to say about the ICE shootings in the last few days, but it’s beyond me. I just finished an ICE-related quilt with a body bag in it, not because I can see the future, but because people had already died in ICE custody. This is heinous. It’s not law enforcement, it’s not making my world safer. My world is not safe at all, and I’m an old white lady. I can’t imagine the fear and anxiety being a person of color or someone in the middle of the immigration process must feel…I just know it’s wrong.

There are a lot of wrong things in the world right now…some of them have always been there, but we’ve made some attempt to make them better. And now that’s not even happening.

This one applies to so many things…

Back to vaccinations and health recommendations. So many idiots. So much not learning happening.

Anyway. If you like my work, odds are your brain is going through the same confused contortions mine is. With no solution in sight. So many lies. So much bad information. So disheartening.

It’s late in the day…I need to go buy some cat food and figure out where to get one skein of DMC floss. Then grade some stuff and clean some stuff so I can iron later. Read a bit. Eat something healthy…or not. Resign myself to going back to work in a few days. Fight for the time to have a life outside of my job. Go back to ceramics…it’s been two weeks since I’ve been there. Sucks. Work on getting the gym back into my selfcare regime. HAVE a selfcare regime that isn’t just about cocooning in the house with sweats or pajamas on. OK, maybe that’s not a bad thing.

Go Read a Book…

Hey there. I’m convinced Nature doesn’t want me to finish the DIY project I started Monday with the boychild. It poured this morning. I’m not sure it’s done pouring. I painted this morning. Fun times. It was lovely and sunny as I painted and then it was pouring. And then WordPress wants to charge me a million bucks for more storage. Did you know I’ve had a blog since 2004? And been on WordPress since I think 2014? Or something. There are things I can do, but they require time and brainpower. I’m debating things. Also, the last two months have been really expensive…nah, the last 6 months or so. I’m not ready to drop a shit ton of money this month. Or next month, to be honest. So it must be January…when all these things are in my head, plus grades are due in a couple of weeks (no, I haven’t finished grades) and I need to get this quilt done and I was sick for a week and now I stabbed my finger with a cactus spine and it hurts to type. It’s fine. Really. All of it. It will all get done. I don’t think I’ll finish painting today though. That’s a reality check.

OK, so I finished tracing Wonder Under pieces last night…

It took about 11 1/2 hours to trace it all.

Last night, Scribble woke up when I had about 30 pieces left and was quite insistent…at one point, putting her foot/claw through the Wonder Under as she realized it was not solid and she was over the edge of the light table. She caught herself on my hand.

In general, she’s not super bitey and scratchy, so that’s fine. And the hole is manageable…I’ve dealt with worse. So there’s the 4 1/2 yards of Wonder Under I now need to trim. Which I guess I have time to do with the wood needing to dry out again. Plus I’m not entirely sure it’s not going to rain again. Sigh. It’s progress at least.

My piece is still hanging at MOCA in Connecticut…

They posted this yesterday…

Which was cool.

This is not cool.

Whole milk and red meat. I guess it’s too much to hope that certain key politicians follow these guidelines as well as the vaccination schedules and succumb to the reality of that. Yeah. I thought so. I guess more people will have heart attacks. I do worry about the kids…I can’t understand why we wouldn’t want kids to have everything they need to survive. Mind-boggling.

Yes, I got my measles update. I have Hep A and B (I’m a teacher). I have all of them except the updated TDAP (sensitivity to the T part means I can’t get the DAP part). OK. Well. I’m going to get some painting done today…I got the first three sides of the primer on. Was about to flip it for the fourth side. Then I need probably three coats of actual paint. Looks like we’re installing Friday…so much for a quick job. Ha! I have some grading to do. And I can start trimming Wonder Under. I’m sure there are 78 other things I can do as well…I just don’t want to. Not shocking that. I go back to school on Monday and I will never ever be ready. It’s nothing new…happens every year. Get your shots, all. Eat healthy. Don’t let the brain worm take over. Read a book! Did you see the data that the majority of Americans didn’t even read one book last year? I read 120. I shouldn’t be making up for the rest of you. Go read a damn book (I know; my readership is probably not the problem).

Ramp It Down…

Well. I just realized I haven’t written since 2025. OK, it’s only the 5th of January, but normally, I would have written on Friday…Friday was a shitshow. It’s fine. It was also the boychild’s 30th birthday, so in true son fashion, he disappeared and did his own thing. I love that for him…considering it for my birthday this year too. It was actually a health insurance issue, which in the end, worked out (well, apparently), which is better than all those sweet people trying to find affordable health insurance at the moment. It is one of the things our district does right…provide good insurance…although they keep threatening to make it cost more (it costs more every year almost, so it’s an empty threat). In general, though, the coverage is good. Except when they fuck it up…which is what happened on the 1st. Anyway, it made the day stressful for me, but eventually I got my meds and went to the knee doctor (good news…it’s not weak, it’s not ligaments…it’s just old. Still.). Back to physical therapy for me. Whoo. I’d rather do that than surgery, so there’s that. Anyway, I’ll blame all that and the remainder of this damn virus for making me forget to write. Saturday and Sunday were all about packing quilts up for the Virginia show, and then shipping them today.

In between all that, I’ve finished grading one whole assignment (only two to go…but both are big) and more importantly, finished the next drawing and started tracing. That’s been fun…tracing with a kitten in the house? Between Luna (attacker of paper) and Nova (eater of paper) a few years back and then Bowie (PARKOUR!), it’s been a bunch of kitten incursion into my artmaking over the last 5 years. Scribble is no different in her love of the process. So I wait for her to fall asleep…and then she wakes up anyway.

Here’s sometime last week, when I was still drawing…some cat (probably Nova) took a bit out of the drawing.

Scribble denied it. I have a system in which I cover the drawing when I’m not actually working on it so no cats can attack, tear, or eat it. Because they’ve done all those things.

Still drawing…this is last Wednesday night…so the same day as my last post. New Year’s Eve!

Everyone in the house but me went to bed early. I didn’t even make it to midnight, because flu. Thursday night, I finished drawing…

I have a size limit…and a time limit. It looks complicated (and it’s not NOT complicated), but not huge, so only about 760 pieces. I numbered it that night too…

About 6 1/2 hours to draw it, then another hour to number it. I think that night went past midnight…finally starting to feel well…ish.

I started tracing it on Friday night.

In this photo, Scribble is under the drawing. Makes it hard to trace.

That said, she’s not scratching, attacking, or eating it, like the other three did, so win-win situation here. Bowie is definitely tempted here.

He also knows now that it’s not allowed. I say that like it matters to him.

She’s cute. That might be what saves her. There’s Bowie, thinking about it again.

He definitely argues for equitable treatment. Sigh. Scribble is easier to pick up and move than the chonk Bowie though.

And she wanders off and plays with feathers in between.

Anyway, I’m more than halfway through the tracing. This one is on a super-tight deadline. I’d really like it traced in the next couple of nights. But also, I can’t just do this. The boychild and I are replacing the deck railing. We bought wood today and I spent a couple hours this afternoon trying to move planters for access. During COVID, I put up all these shelves and planters on the deck so I wouldn’t have to listen to/see my neighbors’ kids all the time. It’s gotten pretty overgrown. I accidentally broke two pots today; one was an Xmas gift, so I feel shitty about that. I still need to go back out there and deal with one shelf, a couple of pots, and an entire planter. I needed a break though.

Other stuff: we had a bunch of rain again and Simba doesn’t like to get wet. He has a raincoat. I’m not sure it helps, but he looks cute in it.

Scribble sleeps like a kitten.

Plays hard, zonks hard.

Then again, there’s been a lot of cat snarliness over that blue blanket.

Bowie covets it. Nova doesn’t care. I don’t know why none of them curl up with each other when it’s cold…except for the two sisters.

The boychild found a baby bird.

It’s a bushtit. We panicked a little and left it for mom…

It unfortunately did not make it and is now buried in the backyard.

I tried using Google Translate live to translate a video I was watching…not so effective sometimes.

Although maybe that is what she was saying (seems unlikely).

I find this amusing.

I tell it to fuck off constantly; same with Gemini. Like just go away. I’m using my brain now. Make Copilot clean the ceiling fan blades. I did that and wished I didn’t have to.

This is also too true. Damn US, the political bullshit in the last week has been nuts.

I’m not ignoring it. I’m just still processing the damn Epstein files. And the ACA. And Jack Smith. And now bombs? And kidnapping? I’m boggled. Also someone please tell Erika Kirk that we don’t need to do another round of Phyllis Schlafly. She was an idiot the first time around. Anyone who can’t see the parallels in this bullshit with Serena Joy in The Handmaid’s Tale? Either you want to stay home and be a freakin’ trad wife, or you want to have rights…you can’t have it both ways. Unless you want to be a feminist? I highly recommend it personally, but if you want the trad wife life, do it. Just don’t make the rest of us come along. We have brains that work too…and we want to do different things. Right now? I want to curl up on the couch and finish my book with a cat or two and a fire in the fireplace and a nice cup of tea. But no, I need to go finish hauling shit around on the deck and then probably stand and trace for a few hours after grading some shit. So there’s that.

Anyway. I’m thankful for a week that has mostly no plans (except the to-do list) and time to recover fully from the flu (I’m still coughing up a lungful of mucus) before I have to go back to the crazy. Although if the rest of the country could ramp the crazy down a bit, I’d appreciate that too.