Give…or Explode…

OK. Deep breath. Wednesday. All I can think about is making art and applying to shows and residencies. My job is demanding though, so I keep waking up at 3 AM and going SHIT. I FORGOT TO DO THAT. This morning, I forgot I set my alarm early, ignored one of them, and reset the other one. SHIT. It’s fine. I got it. Just so many things happened yesterday and so many balls are in the air that something is gonna drop…and bounce. I’m not sure if bouncing is good, bad, or neutral at the moment…or just more chaos. I know that my nighttime art brain wants more time. And my day job demands more time. At some point, things give…or explode. Kinda like me. For now, though, I’m demanding an hour a night and hoping for more. The real problem is having all these more computer tasks for art, and not my personal art, but for groups I’m in, and it’s hard to give up my personal art time for that. I do have a 3-day weekend coming up though…hopefully I can do both. Plus grade. And plan. Ugh.

I finished tracing Wonder Under on Monday night…

Thanks Scribble. It’s a little more than 5 yards.

Trimming is usually about an hour a yard. There’s a lot of big pieces in this.

As of last night, I trimmed the little piece, one full yard, and about 1/2 another. So yeah, about an hour a yard.

On Insta I said I thought it would take another 5 hours, but I think it’ll be less than 4. One a night. Sometime on Saturday. Then sort, then start ironing to fabric. I don’t know if I have a background fabric that will work, so I need to start thinking about that, because that’ll have to happen Saturday if I need to buy some.

I made it to ceramics on Monday and it was quiet and almost empty and not as hot as it would have been last week. So I glazed all the ribcage.

I also started on the front with some details. I had some glazes dry out over the summer, so I rehydrated and am hoping they’re OK by Friday. Getting close to done with this part. Then I can work on the head, which is just a neck at the moment, sitting in my damp box.

This is Social Justice Sewing Academy…and I started the block in the bottom left.

Presumably someone embroidered it (can’t tell) and then it made it into a quilt. I made it at the first QuiltCon in Phoenix after COVID. It’s about trying to protect kids from all the things teachers have to worry about with them. Still doing that…the worrying.

Still worrying. Because this is sick.

Seriously, this is where every dystopian novel goes. And then real kids are caught up in it because the AI isn’t ‘good enough’ or the AI gets trapped in it. I’d be OK with the AI taking out the users of this when that happens. I just don’t get why the lawmakers don’t think this through. They won’t stop with AI…they’ll just use it as a jumping-off point.

Making the world a better place gets harder and harder every day right now.

OK, I woke up late, I have a meeting early, I’m teaching (ironically) about AI today, but mostly with the environment (bad bad bad) with brief forays into trade-offs. Then Pilates and book club, with a dog drop-off in the middle. It’s busy. I’ll be grading in there somewhere. And cutting out little pieces of Wonder Under.

You Never Finish…

Hey Monday. As always, you appear too quickly. Busy weekends make you show up even faster. Hoping next weekend is better…oh wait! It is! Three-day weekend for the win.

The heat wave has finally backed off a bit. It’s still in the 90s, but not the high 90s. It makes a difference. I was actually cold last night in bed. A freakin’ miracle. I’m still getting woken up by the low blood sugar alarm every night. We’ve reduced my insulin. I’ve tried a snack before bed. Nothing seems to work. And now I have the diabetes nurse AND my doctor giving me conflicting info. I guess the educator I talked to last summer is gone? It’s so hard to get a working relationship with a medical person when they so often leave. I’m sure there’s a reason. My medical group has laid off hundreds of people…thanks to the big beautiful asshole of a bill. I don’t see this getting better.

So I did trace all weekend and managed to get within 100 pieces of the finish…

Friday night…

Saturday night…it all kinda looks the same…except for the cat.

Sunday night…

I have about 100 pieces left…I keep finding pieces I haven’t numbered yet, so I’m not sure what to say about that.

I sat the Techne Art Center gallery on Saturday for 5 hours. Thanks to all the friends who stopped by…like this one from school…

She came dressed for an evening out with her husband. I sewed two of his buttons on his suit coat for him. Then did one for the boychild last night. See? A sewing education is useful.

I wandered around and took photos of everything so I could write a blogpost.

Not as many people as at the opening. Much easier to get photos without random people in them.

Not sure when I’m going to have time to write that post for that group, or the other two for the other two groups.

The ceramics are by Linda Litteral.

I hadn’t seen this one for a while. It’s fun…for a quilt about the onset of COVID. Good show…you should go see it.

I’ve got a couple of local shows coming up…one at Grossmont College opening in October…when I have the social media blurb for that, I’ll post it…and this one.

I’ll be at this opening, although not for four whole hours. But you should stop by. It’ll be nice.

Speaking of nice, the boychild graduated from his fire training courses this summer…he was gone for 10 weeks. The girlchild went up to support him and we got this awesome photo.

We’re very proud of him for getting to wear the fancy uniform with all the buttons. Plus the better job situation. He works hard. So does she, but she doesn’t get to wear fancy uniforms and have bagpipes at ceremonies. I watched the livestream at school on my phone with my earbud in…I did tell my students what was going on. It was short. They were being taught by a counselor during that period, so I don’t feel bad.

I do feel bad about the fucking climate change idiocy that doesn’t believe in that stuff. Because Nepal. And Ohio. And my lord, the list of places will just keep growing.

Maybe if the White House succumbs to a flood. Nah, they’ll just blame the Democrats for that.

Speaking of stupid…

I am totally ready for any lake to be named after Epstein if we can get all the files and then put some old white guys in jail for life. Plus bring home all those military people who don’t need to be at war.

And if you’re a billionaire, be like Dolly.

Bunch of wankers.

This car was parked where we were having dinner. I’m all for Hello Kitty doing some whack stuff (she had big teeth on the back of the car), but carrying automatic weapons?

Let’s not. This was not a small decal…it was about 3 feet high. Not a fan.

OK, I graded a lot this weekend, but didn’t finish (you never finish until the end of the school year). I did some other things. I realized that sometimes people don’t know how little spare time you have unless you tell them, and even then, if it’s not their experience, they probably don’t get it. Friday I spent a lot of time explaining food to students…like gumbo…which I’ve never had (seafood not good for me). Today though is hotdogs and they have to write about them and the pro is that it’s a pretty easy one. Which is great, because their reliance on AI is mind-boggling and they won’t have computers out today. Ha! But I need to put our surveillance software on them for the warmup, because it’s crazy what answers they will cut and paste without even trying to make sense of them. CRAZY. I fear for the future. But AI is gonna take over and get rid of us anyway, because we are causing all the bad shit. So it’ll be OK.

I have a staff meeting, I’d like to go to ceramics today, I need to finish tracing, and odds are, I need to grade more shit. What’s new? But it’s cooler. I can get behind that.

It’ll All Get Done

Oy. Friday. Hot. Hopefully just two more days of that before the weather calms the fuck down. I’m ready for that. I’m also hoping this feeling like I will never catch up or get things done will calm down soon…although it kind of is a school/teacher thing, so probably not. I have 5 hours sitting in a gallery tomorrow to get caught up. Oh wait, I’m never actually caught up. But I’m going to try. Also that means I lose all my Saturday artmaking/house fixing/cleaning time. Taking deep breaths. Weekends shouldn’t be stressful (but they are).

I’m still tracing. It’s going incredibly slowly.

It’s hot. I’m only getting like an hour a night. The pieces are complicated. I drew them, so it’s my fault.

I started my 4th yard of Wonder Under last night…a piece that wouldn’t fit in between all the other ones. In simplifying this piece, keeping the tiny details to a minimum (for some definition of that), it’s harder to fill in all the leftover bits. I’m in the high 300s. The last two nights, I have not been able to trace 100 pieces each night, like I prefer. I got through about 70 pieces last night, maybe 60 the night before. I’m hoping to spend a few hours tonight tracing…I can grade at the gallery tomorrow. Today at school, I need to prep for next week and clean up from the lab. The new teachers’ aide did a really good job of organizing the lab supplies and even WASHED things with a sponge. I love that for us. It’s a boy and they aren’t always the best at the cleaning/organizing tasks. I’m hopeful. But now I need to put them all back. Plus two parent meetings…AND the boychild is graduating from his CalFire program…he’s been gone all summer…and it’s on livestream this morning. Trying to figure out how to just watch that during a parent phone call and a counselor presentation in my advisory.

Life. It’s complicated. And currently very sweaty.

So many deaths. This one made me tear up a bit. She had such a hard time of it, but seemed to really get where she needed to be.

Hoping she has peace…and all the dots.

Lunar eclipse last night! I love all the bad photos going back and forth between friends.

Some professional photographer online will have amazing photos.

Unlike my blurry red dragon egg. It was cool to see it anyway. Even with the mosquito bites.

OK. School today. Teaching how to write in science. TORTURE. For me and them. We’ll survive. My co-teacher is back! I wish her a lot of pain-free moments today. Two parent meetings. Duty after school. Hoping for ceramics after school, depending on my exhaustion levels. I just need to glaze…it’s not hard. Then home…I think I’m cooking tonight. Ugh. Sigh. Then tracing. Grade tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be at the Techne Art Center in Oceanside from 1-6 PM. Come see the FIG show there, Master Glitch. It’s a cool show. Probably I’m supposed to write a blogpost about it…and three other shows. Sigh. It’ll be fine. It’ll all get done. Maybe.

You Will Keep Making Mistakes…

Hey. Halfway through the work week. Woke up out of a dream that I don’t remember, but I do know I wanted to finish it. That said, I want to finish the bad ones as much as the good ones, because I want to know how things end. This is how I end up reading the next book in a series even when I’m not really that into it. I’m not sure it’s a useful trait, but it’s the one I have.

I’m tracing Wonder Under this week. It looks pretty boring, but there is always a cat involved.

She starts out lying on everything and eventually gets annoyed with my moving her around and leaves.

Mostly I’ve been tracing a lot of big background pieces with the occasional burst of tiny mushrooms.

See? Side by side. The big pieces take longer to trace. I always like to get 100 pieces done in an hour, which is the amount of time I have most nights, but last night, I only did 90 because they were big pieces.

I’m in the 200s…I won’t be done until early next week. But there’s always progress.

Here’s one of the quilts that went to the photographer. It actually has a name, Interminable Wait.

Hand embroidery with light threads, so easy to photograph! Ha.

This one’s name is percolating. I have a potential…I’m mulling over it.

It’s coming. I’ll post both of them on my New Work page in the next couple of days with details of size etc. Nice to have real photos of them.

I’m exhausted from work and the heat…it’s so hard to sleep when it’s hot. The windows have to be open, so it’s light (full moon coming) and loud (cars and nature and the neighbor’s roosters…drive me nuts). I need to clean the kitchen and laundry room floors soon…here’s the natural detritus on the floor of the laundry room telling me how it feels about contributing to the dirt in there.

I did it right before I left on my summer trip. I haven’t done it since. TIME! I don’t have enough time. I come home and read a chapter of my book and then grade stuff and then deal with food. Yesterday I had a meeting that I thought would be 15 minutes go to an hour and then I had to drive to pick up my quilts, so I didn’t get home until 5:45 and I was half dead. I still feel half dead. Not sleeping enough. Plus we did a lab yesterday. Those are also exhausting. You know what else is exhausting? The world. One of my school board members and his wife do videos every week and last week, we saw a clip where she is claiming teachers are evil predator communists who turn kids into the opposite gender.

Lady. I just want your kid to wear deodorant, not lose all their papers, charge their Chromebook, come to school, and have a pencil. What the everloving fuck are you talking about? Please don’t vote for the two Project 2025 ignoramuses (ignorami?) in our district. Text me or email me for names. I’ll be canvassing against these sweethearts in September.

This was too true…and then Dolly Parton died. A good person. Instead of the other 80-year-olds who are performing evil predatory things on our country.

Reality is that we DO have to go to work and pay the bills and pack lunches. Plus this…

I made a quilt about that.

Meanwhile, this is me.

Always.

OK. Work. Finishing up all the lab writing stuff and starting to talk about how to write claim, evidence, and reasoning. Again. There was a minor bit of stupid behavior yesterday but no one was sent out. A couple people were told to stop touching things. Ever. Always. Never again. And the principal violated one of the safety rules. Good teachable moment there. Then pilates after that. It’s hot here; did I mention that? Then home to grade and cook and maybe clean a floor, if I have the energy for it (unlikely). Then tracing into the 300s. It’s all planned out. I need to make at least one video today…without my co-videomaking partner. Awkward. Bringing a tripod instead. Can’t replace her really, but it’ll have to do for today. Need to make some copies for later in the week too. Like maybe for tomorrow. Should really figure that shit out. Missing half my science teacher brain…I minorly messed up the lab in Period 1 and revised for the following periods. Glad I did that at least. Learn from the mistakes. Sometimes you can avoid making them in the future. But realistically, you will keep making mistakes all your life and you will need to do your best to fix them, and the sooner you become comfortable with that, the better.

Signed Up For…

Weekends feel so short. I mean, I work for 3 or 4 hours every Sunday, so that doesn’t help. But if I don’t do that, I can’t keep up. I’m already behind, and we’re in the 2nd full week of school. Welcome to the next 10 months. I did manage to keep Saturday work free, but then Sunday, I got an email about the upcoming school board elections and how I will need to give up 9 hours to canvassing in the next 2 1/2 months. Sigh. I signed up for that job. I know it’s important. Just losing those hours hurts my art self. My sleeping-in self! Which I need. I didn’t sleep last night. Too hot, too noisy (windows open due to hot). It was over 100 degrees yesterday, cooler today, then the surface of hell for the rest of the week. Fun times. Eventually I’ll sleep because of exhaustion. Rough way to start the week though.

So artwise, I finally made it to the ceramics studio on Friday; I’m going again tomorrow. I picked up these two pieces from the class I took in June. They fired well.

I’m just sticking them in the yard. They were fun. I might make more. Yes that’s a uterus.

I also did the 2nd and 3rd underglaze brown layers on this…

I really wanted this to go in the bisque fire before I left on the residency, but I spent 5 or 6 hours glazing those other two, so that didn’t happen. I also ran out of one of the browns and the local store didn’t have it, and it shipped after I left.

Surprisingly very few cracks, no breaks. Needs a lot more underglazing, but I’m getting there.

In new quilt news, I finished drawing this (although I added a spaceship later).

Saturday night, I numbered it…

I’d like to say that Scribble is helpful, but she really isn’t.

I thought it had 848 pieces but then I added the spaceship and found another chunk of pieces I hadn’t numbered, so I’m in the 860s somewhere.

And last night, I started tracing…

With the help of Scribble, who kept lying on the drawing.

She’s mostly easy to move. And then she left. But not until this happened…

I didn’t get very far. Big pieces take longer to trace. With a cat in the way. Not helpful.

I spent most of Saturday dealing with some of the dyed paintings, doing final washouts. I had issues with the last one…I washed it out in a hotel sink and the brown skin color completely washed out, and then I couldn’t get the blue to stop washing out. I’m not unhappy with the blue…it was meant to be lighter, less intense. The blue in the body was mixed in with the brown that didn’t stick, but all the other colors mostly did. I think the brown had been contaminated by the soda ash on the fabric transferring on the brush. So I’m going to redo the brown.

I ran a test on the dyes I brought back to see if any of them were still good. I forgot to wash it out yesterday, but I’m hoping these weren’t contaminated so I can just do the skin tones sometime this week…whenever that might be. Ha! Yeah. Work? or Art? Or whatever else?

I washed another out and there’s one head that needs more, so I’m going to try Inktense on that section…it’s pretty small. I have two long skinny ones I did on purpose for an upcoming show. So I spent a couple of hours dealing with dye paintings, which was nice. I have some blog posts I have to write for art groups; I started one. I’m a little annoyed by the other one, but whatever. Obviously I’m the only one who writes posts for them, even when I’m not there and didn’t get into the show. I did get into one locally in October though, so I’ll be there (more info to follow) and the big FIG show is still on in Oceanside; I’ll be there Saturday for 5 hours, so come visit.

While I was gone, Nova (probably) puked on a lot of things, including a ceramic frame I hadn’t hung up yet with a photo of my niece I liked…honestly, I might like it better like this.

I washed it. Yeah. The ceramic frame fared better than the photo paper.

The old man slept in on Saturday. Nice.

No boofing at me at 6:30 AM.

Saturday date night…

I did not buy any fabric this weekend. In fact, I haven’t bought any fabric since mid-July. No hiking Saturday…too hot. Miss that. Want to do that.

It’s OK; I probably will soon.

Good science meme; but my students won’t get it.

I did name one of my loaner computers Marie Curie.

As we get ready to go over appropriate AI use in the classroom (I’ve already seen a bunch of it).

Unfortunately, middle schoolers often don’t have the prefrontal cortex development to understand this graph. And why it matters. And it’s why all my tests are on paper now. Can’t use AI if you don’t have your computer. God knows they’re using it everywhere else.

OK. Today…is kind of a mess, but I think it’ll be OK. We’re doing an observation lab…followed by another more complicated observation lab tomorrow (am I nuts? I might be). Staff meeting after, but the boss has been super vague (which is kind of their thing) about the meeting after. He’ll tell us right after probably or ignore it completely. I have book club tonight but I don’t remember which book it’s for (whoops). I’m pretty sure I read it. Then I’ll be tracing on Wonder Under. I should grade somewhere in there too…in the heat. Ugh. Yeah. OK. I guess I have to.

Too Much Uncertainty

Eleven days. Everyone I run into assumes we are done with school (because everybody else is). We’re not! When I say, nope, still doing the things, they’re like, “Well, you’re out this week, right?”. NOPE. Not even next week. Although next week is the last of the teaching parts. After that it’s just promotion/end-of-year chaos. Grades. Fun stuff. Cleaning my classroom, and for me, trying to get ready for the beginning of the year, since I’ll miss out on two of the prep days. It’s not nothing getting through these days. Kids are done too. Tempers are high, emotions are frazzled, and that’s just the adults. I even have a teacher who assumes I’m doing nothing, that the student we share can skip my class, my academic class, to come hang out. Problematic. This kid isn’t promoting. He needs to be in class. On time. I think we fixed that issue, but sheesh.

Anyway. Getting there. Getting there with the art stuff too. I cut out borders for another dye painting the other night…haven’t sewn them on yet, but getting there. Getting there with the trimming of Wonder Under pieces too, despite Scribble’s need to be on my lap while I do it.

I cut out the rest of a yard on Monday night…and then most of a yard last night…

She is not helping. She bats at the pieces if they’re too interesting. Left bin had to increase in size to accommodate all 1400+ pieces. Between the bins is the rest of the yard…I didn’t stay up for another 30 minutes to do that because I had to be up early this morning for a meeting that has all of a sudden become more interesting by what I saw on the agenda at 9:30 last night. The right bin is all the trash, which I keep until everything is ironed to fabric, because sometimes I drop a piece into the wrong bin.

Then Scribble, who most definitely is not a kitten any more, is on my lap. Notice how I match my socks to my outfit.

My foot? Yesterday was sore again. This morning, woke up and it’s fine. I have a 7:30 AM (shoot me now) appointment tomorrow morning with the podiatrist for him to yell at me, give me a list of shoes and exercises, and hopefully we solve this by going on summer break. Or not. I don’t know what set it off.

This is really what Scribble wants when she sits on me.

The Man said she just started rubbing up against his legs and asking him for pets, which is good, because I’m going to be gone a long time in July/August, and she’ll need to get love from someone.

I also finally made it back to ceramics yesterday. Limping and on crutches is no way to try to move this beast from my shelf to the table and back. In case you’re wondering how I design for clay, I don’t. I am driving over to the studio and my brain says, “What’s going on that other arm? I don’t know. What about this? Eh. What about that? Meh. What about doing sgraffito on it? Oh yeah, let’s do that.”.

So I underglazed the arm to be sgraffitoed (hoping it’s not too dry) and did some more on the fabric.

I suspect the heart that will go on there is ready for the bisque kiln, but I figured I’d give it another week just to be sure. It’s pretty thick. I don’t want it to explode. I did poke a hole into the center. I really need this bisque fired before I leave for almost a month. So that’s a goal. I also wish I had built the hands better, but there were issues with timing and their getting too hard, so this is what we have. I’ll be back there maybe Friday? Simba needs to have his teeth cleaned; I don’t know the pickup time. So that might be a no. We’ll see.

Gubernatorial election in California? Sigh. I’m so disappointed with how government and politics are (not) working these days. Seems that may continue. Too much uncertainty.

Today, I am finishing up a gravity/mass demo in class that involves a hula hoop, lycra, and a bunch of marbles, plus kids trying to orbit with said marbles. We’ll see if I get them all back. Then black holes/stars, which I don’t know enough about and wish I did. But first, weird meeting in the AM. And pilates at night. And trying to get as much grading done as possible (so close!). And cutting more stuff out, probably with Scribble on my lap (pros and cons to that).

That Should Be Enough…

OK we only have two full weeks (and a short one) left. It doesn’t make this week easier, mostly, because we’re still here, trying to teach, while students dream of summer vacay (trust me, y’all…we also are dreaming of this…we’re just capable of dreaming AND working). I woke up this morning, and my foot is behaving (knock on wood). Not even any pain (in that one, ironically, let’s not talk about the other foot). Weird shit, bodies. I managed to pick up three pieces from the photographer yesterday and get them entered (the deadline was today). And I did art this weekend. All good.

I traced Friday night…

I was close to the end…about 150 pieces away.

Foot was still hurting Saturday. We had to go grocery shopping and I took the crutches because they force me not to limp and destroy all my other muscles, which is part of what happened last week. Everything hurt.

Saturday night, I finished tracing…5 full yards and a little bit of one.

Scribble guarding them. And I started cutting them out.

Usually I can do about a yard a night, but I started late, had to be up early Sunday for an art meeting, and had that funny little bit to do as well, so I’m already off my easy tracking plan.

Last night I finished that yard and got about a 1/3 of the way through another.

Friday night, I should be sorting them, ironing Saturday…I hope. Lots of busy weekends this month though…but also, school will end. I have to get this to a good place before I leave for Oregon. For some definition of ‘good place’. I also started the borders of the next set of dye paintings I’m going to finish, but I didn’t take any photos. Yes, I bought more fabric for those, because I don’t have enough of anything in my stash to work.

The local fabric store usually has an awesome stash for this stuff, but they have downsized and their stash was not as awesome as before. It does not bode well for me and my batik habit. Maybe it bodes well for my finances.

Local wildlife…the two (blurry) young coyotes who ran through my yard, over my fence, into my neighbor’s yard, over their fence.

The hawks were out in force. This one has something in its talons.

Two of the owl babies are racing around, flying everywhere. One is still staying back, I think. This is so early for release.

Our own wildlife…Scribble loves this bed.

Simba was at the ex’s house with the boychild…and Annie.

Peaceful moment for them.

This is my brain on the regular, especially last week.

I actually didn’t lose my mind over the foot/brain stuff for too long. I prefer to make art and read books.

Especially when I see this.

So frustrating. As is this.

Any other president and we wouldn’t be speculating like this.

Anyway. Teaching space this week still, focusing on mass and gravity. So a simulation today, a demo tomorrow with help from kids. Leaving the crutches home. Frustrated about my district/principal. Not sure who came up with the busywork we’ve been assigned for 2 hours after work, but it’s already been done, just not in this format. Differentiation for professional development is not a thing in my district. So quietly simmering and trying not to. Trying to think about getting stuff set up for tomorrow and finishing grading and getting myself back to my art instead of considering my WHY. If you’re a teacher, you’ll get that reference. But if my district/principal are not telling me why I need to do this thing, then WHY do I need to do it in this format? It already exists. If it’s for me and my department, that should be enough. Right? Anyway. We know how these arguments go. Rarely on the side of the worker bee.

Short Week…

Woo Wee what a week. Short week. Kicking my butt. I’m currently on crutches, just scheduled another brain MRI, waiting on podiatry, and dammit, I need to go take my antibiotics…hold on…be right back. Luckily, it’s Eid, so half the school has been gone…a few more came back yesterday, and we’ll get a few more back today (and lose a few more because it’s Friday…certainly some kids are NOT gone for Eid, just based on their last names). A couple of kids I think believe school is already done, because I haven’t seen them in two weeks. Fun times. I wonder how they function as adults sometimes. I hope they figure it out…and I know sometimes it’s parents making those lovely decisions. Sigh.

Anyway, to summarize, on antibiotics for a UTI (haven’t had one of those since I was pregnant with one of the kids who are now late 20s, early 30s), then woke up in the middle of the night unable to put weight on my left foot (probably a really bad flareup of plantar fasciitis; haven’t had that for 20+ years)…here’s my cankle at urgent care Wednesday evening…

I don’t think it ever got swollen when I had it before. Not like that. That warranted crutches. Probably need a boot…found my old one and it’s definitely very worn and has way too much velcro and padding. Sigh. Acupuncture? Frozen bottle of water? Tennis ball? IYKYK.

Also, Wednesday morning, I had this weird visual disturbance (weirder than the one I’ve had for two years now) and ended up on the line with the nurse triage, who originally said go to the ER, but then the symptoms stopped, so she said, uh, contact the neuro-opthalmologist you saw before, so I emailed. Got to work, got a call from my primary doc telling me to go to the ER until I told her symptoms were gone and I’d contacted the eye doc. Eye doc called during Period 1 and scheduled me for the end of the day, so I went for 90 minutes of testing to find out I had a typical migraine aura without the headache (damn lucky there) and the retinas were still fine and there were no weird things that weren’t already weird in there. Then down to urgent care for the crutches (x-rays show bone spurs…woo! I think it’s the other foot though, different from 20+ years ago). MY GODDESS. CAN WE JUST NOT. Apparently my body is ready for summer break; it’s gonna take me out for the last few weeks. Dudes, we have 2 1/2 more weeks…14 days of actual school, 4 of those are not teaching days. I just need to be able to walk and make art and see. And pee when I need to. (UTIs are common for teachers…I’ve been lucky).

The foot was better yesterday. This morning was a little hinky, but I’m sure being on crutches to get to the bathroom is OK (really rather not, y’all. Really rather not.).

Tuesday night, I traced. The foot wasn’t as bad Tuesday night and I have a pad I stand on and I really lean on the light table when I’m tracing anyway, so very little weight on the foot.

I iced and elevated for 2 hours before that. I wanted to go to ceramics but there was no way I was getting my 25-pound sculpture off the shelf and limping over to the table with it. The Man just wants me to rest nonstop and I can’t deal with that.

Wednesday, I spent 3.5 hours at the doc, between urgent care and eye doc, so I was in a lot of pain and exhausted. Iced, elevated, honestly cried a little, very frustrated. Eventually cut these out because standing? Not so much.

Scribble was so helpful.

Honestly, I moped for about 2 hours and then I’m like, what CAN I do? I can cut out all the stuff I’ve already traced and get a head start on that, tried to have a good attitude, took pain meds, went to bed, and it was better the next day. Took pain meds all day…stayed off my feet (watching student presentations)…and I was able to trace last night.

I’ve made it halfway through the 1100s. Yes, there are over 1400. But hoping to be done this weekend. Slight slowdown due to stupid body making demands.

I also worked on this, the first flower of 16 in the border of Homegrown (Sue Spargo).

I’ll be done in 2035. Maybe.

I got this from the doc’s office (on top of all the other stuff).

That’s mostly because of my mom’s breast cancer (which is fully in remission). But you know, I breastfed my two kids for a total of about 3.5 years, and I want to know what my discount is for that…because they always said it would reduce your chances of breast cancer. But this damn risk assessment model doesn’t give a shit about that. Annoying. I want my credits.

And guys, here’s my residency location from another view.

Oh man, can’t wait. I’m in the smaller cabin on the left in the middle. That’s a dock on the left by that tree. There’s a person sitting on it. Can you see me sitting there? I fucking can.

Also, I’d be there, but the crutches are slowing me down. It’s fine. I can handle it. Today, we are hopefully getting most of the presentations done (in my rolling chair)…solar system, planets, gravity, mass. Then home to ice and elevate and then trace some more. All day tomorrow hopefully…canceling pilates again (sigh). Maybe. Grading stuff. That will go away soon too. Never too soon. And it’s Friday, so that’s a relief. Short weeks aren’t necessarily easier.

An Impossible Task

Yes, it’s not Monday. I was supposed to write yesterday. I remembered a few times during the day, but was trying to do stuff. I was not well on Saturday, Sunday still recovering, probably still recovering today, honestly. Seems like my immune system decided it wasn’t gonna work last week. It’s fine; I got antibiotics Saturday and I’m pretty sure I’m OK now (taking ALL the antibiotics until they’re gone, because let’s follow directions, y’all), but when they tell you to go to the ER with certain symptoms and the meds cause some of those symptoms…it’s fun times, y’all. Also, like, what IS a fever? So a lot of second guessing and kind of what feels like a waste of a weekend, thanks body for that, but all a necessary part of the whole life game. Better now. Mostly. Didn’t get to hike. Didn’t get a lot done. Sigh.

I couldn’t fall asleep last night, brain just whirring along, dragging me along with it. Yes, I meditated. I counted to 10 with deep breaths about three thousand times. It was just an impossible task. Sleep because you know what the week brings. Nope. Not happening. Ah well. Move on and caffeinate.

I did trace, despite the illness. Meds helped. Originally, going into the weekend, I had this crazy idea that if I traced for 3 hours each day, I could finish tracing this thing. Or maybe 4 hours. Like I had nothing else to do. I mean, it turned out that it didn’t matter if I had other things to do…but…here’s Friday night.

Made it up onto her left arm…then Saturday night, after the meds kicked in…

Oooh, here it is with the light off…

That might have been Sunday night…oh wait, no, this is Sunday night…

That’s all the Wonder Under I’d traced so far. The three on the left are mostly full. I’m working on the one on the right. I forgot to take a photo last night. It looks the same, y’all. Every night, it looks the same…I just have more things drawn on the Wonder Under. I made it to the mid 900s last night (not done, not at all done). If I keep up the hour a night, I won’t be done until Saturday night. One of the things I thought about last night in the multiple hours I wasn’t sleeping is how far I would get on this piece before I left for Oregon, and the answer is, not far enough to come back and finish it and photograph it before the deadline I’m aiming for, SO. I will have to ramp it up. Knock on wood. Get more schoolwork done at school. Like I can wish for that, but making it happen is a different thing.

I did make it to ceramics yesterday, which is good, because I missed two Fridays in a row. The heart is out on the drying racks (they finally cleared a bunch of stuff off of them…still no room for the torso unfortunately). I’m trying to finish up the building part on this so I can underglaze it.

I added stems and leaves and decorated a bit.

One more arm and then it’s ready for underglazing. That’ll only take 300 hours.

This is where I’m at, but add the California primaries with 62 (?) people running for governor, and the top two Repugs are really disgusting. I mean it sucks being in the US right now with the government we have, but California has been a bit better…big enough to be its own country, and no perfect governor, but not one with his head up the orange ass. We voted on Monday. Glad it’s done, but it did not reduce my stress.

Deep breaths. We’ll know in a week who the top two are. If they are both Repugs, then fuuuck. Is all I have to say.

Then this…

There must be a better way to power AI. It’s not leaving. Can we get the great minds onto how to better use it and power it, so we’re not using human resources to power little boys putting girls’ heads on naked women’s bodies? Is that a thing? Can we do that? Probably not.

Here watch some baby owls learning to do things…

Cute, right? Loud. They fly away a lot these days and leave partially eaten rodents all over the yard. Bleck.

OK. The kids are doing a research project on the planets today, because my past self was trying to take care of this week’s self. Good plan, because I can hopefully grade while they’re doing that. Low-key week for the win. Plus only 4 days. Plus no science interviews, thank goodness (we did 9 last week? 8? I forget. Tired of hearing the same key words over and over again, especially the guy who pointedly looked at me and said he had learned all the new science tech stuff for teaching kids, including…wait for it…EXCEL SPREADSHEETS…like WTF guy…those have been around since I was in school. Nothing new there.). Plus more ceramics after school to make up for not going Friday, then grading and dinner and tracing, at least 90 minutes please. Maybe more. We’ll see. This is the end of May, y’all. The end is coming (of the school year…not the world…yet).

You Think You’ve Got It…

Hey ya…running through my brain…I guess I need a soundtrack to get going in the morning. And all day. Into the night. Actually, I never really have a problem with the staying up late part. I’m not good at the rest of it. I swear yesterday felt like Friday…it’s not fair to have another one. At least there’s no assembly today, right? A few more are suspended, a few more coming back (I think?). It feels closer to the end than it actually is? I keep having to tell myself I’m not done yet…I have to teach actual science for another three weeks. Like I told the kids: one more unit (short), one more homework, one more test. And a bunch of other shit. When you get to the egg drop, you know it’s time to stop learning science (and that’s three weeks out). Meanwhile, I’m still grading and lesson planning and cleaning up and copying shit and handling issues and managing time and interviewing a bunch of kids who have never ever taught before and wondering how they would survive my challenging school, and realizing I was one of them once. And I survived. 23 years of surviving.

It’s all good; we’re getting there.

I’m still tracing. I make a goal of 100 pieces a night. Sometimes 100 pieces takes me less than an hour, sometimes more. So really, it’s about an hour. Little pieces are faster and generally easier to draw. Big ones take longer.

Wednesday night, I got to the 300s…

With Scribble. Who had to be persuaded to lie on that part while I drew on this part. Here’s what we got done…

Last night, she mostly stayed out of it…tried to sit on it a few times, got moved, play-whacked me, moved off, came back, put paws under things, got bopped on the nose. They all learn eventually. I don’t mind her up there, but I have a job to do and she can’t get in the way of that. Kitten learned but loved to lie on the glass, but was also respectful and didn’t whack things. Or tear things. Or bite things (except pencils, which is allowed, as long as it’s not in my hand at the time).

I got to the 400s…so there’s at least 10 more hours, maybe 11 before I’m done. Some part of my brain is like, you have a 3-day weekend. You could do it. And I could, but I also need to do yardwork and grade and hike. So there’s always this balance.

See that bird? I forget they can do this crazy shit, holding onto trees without a branch. Need to draw one like that sometime soon.

Need to ask the Man what kind of bird that is (it was in his feeder).

This is so where I’m at.

The crows are definitely out and about these days. The crows, the owls. I’m in.

OK. Teaching the solar system (fast version) today. Lots of talking unfortunately. Then more science interviews. They get old, y’all. Yes, you recent grads can parrot all the vocabulary, but it’s silly asking them all these questions about stuff they’d do when they have no clue. It’ll be interesting to see how it goes today. No ceramics today; I won’t be done with interviews until after 5 PM and will probably be exhausted. I mean, I’m already exhausted. It’s not like today will be restful. Then I’ll be tracing later. I have a 3-day weekend. I do expect some art time, but there’ll be some other stuff too. There always is. It’s nice to have the extra day though. Appreciate that.