I Got Your Number on the Wall*

I’m unclear on how to start this morning. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, limited caffeine intake at this point. It’s a beautiful blue-skied day, my pool has almost recovered from all the rain so far (my pool guy says my pool is the biggest challenge he’s ever had…I think that’s a good thing? He hasn’t quit yet…three of them have in the past.), I have lunch already made, the big quilt is at the photographer, the science project for my students is done and just needs to be scheduled (3 choices, 5 periods, so that’s 15 different posts). I almost feel like stuff is under control, except I’m grinding my teeth, grades are due in like a week and a half and I’m nowhere near done, and my bathroom is a mess. Better not to think about that stuff…just tackle it a bit at a time. I tackle the teeth grinding with exercise. I do love to go to the gym and to go out hiking, but it’s hard to find the time. I guess I just have to. That’s true of so much…just have to. Like your taxes. Just gotta do them (unless you’re the President, apparently).

I’m not the President. I think that’s part of the problem.

It was chilly last night. How do I know this? Well there’s an app for that. Plus the heat came on automatically awfully early. And I went outside in it. But even more importantly, I collected evidence from the multiple furry beasts around me…you can’t see the cat to my right in this photo, but she’s there. And Calli is upside down on the couch, head on my lap. Simba came up eventually, but Calli makes him nervous…

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Later, with cat on lap and Calli right next to her.

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Poor Calli…stuck with me all weekend. She loves my ex, who takes her every weekend, but he is off to Boston to visit the girlchild. So she’s sulking early…

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Actually, it’s because I made her sit in the front seat so she wouldn’t sit on my quilt in the back seat, ready for the photographer.

I really need to get some grading done today. It’s stressing me out. I have been trying to get it done in class, since my prep is eaten up by planning, but the kids don’t seem to understand that there are things they have to do each day, so I do a lot of babysitting…literally standing over a kid and saying, “Um. What are you DOING?” It doesn’t seem to help. We’ve planned this project out so there will be research time and project-making time, with regular checks to keep kids on task, but I’m sure by the end of it, all my patience reserves (do I have any of those left?) will be used up on the kids who just goof off. I’m boggled by that. My pool guy asked me what I had done in a previous life to be a 7th grade teacher…like it was a bad karma thing, punishment for a former life. Huh. I guess that’s one way to look at it. The next one should be awesome then. Full-time artist with a big studio, plenty of money, someone to clean the bathroom and help with the groceries. Man. That would be a blessing.

Still making a tree…one or two more strands in the trunk I think…that’s three there.

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And then…then I was exhausted and the thought of standing to trace Wonder Under felt like too much, but I did it anyway. Because I needed to. This quilt is important.

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I guess they all are, more or less. This is more. It’s hard to look out at exhibits I’m supposed to be working for, the ones where I can’t make it political, where I can’t just do what I want. It’s possible that I won’t be entering those shows, because I can’t draw for that right now. Because every time I look at my phone, there’s some other crazy shit happening that doesn’t make sense, things being taken away that shouldn’t even be a thing that can be removed. Oh yeah, and I’d rather have the NEA than a wall. Do I get a vote on that? Fuck no. Articles about tourism drops, about house sales possibly falling, about people being deported for stupid shit, about anti-vaxxers. If you don’t believe in vaccines, then (1) don’t vaccinate your kid, (2) don’t try to force your lack-of-evidence-based-decision on others, and (3) accept the consequences if your child develops polio. Seriously? You can make that decision, but don’t make it for the rest of us (Mr. Not-My-President). I’m confused about people’s inability to look at evidence and see answers. Blind eyes.

Ah, the frustration. So part of my Spring Break vacation is going to be drawing. A lot of drawing. Because I won’t be able to quilt on the trip…no electricity for a goodly portion of it. Plus really? I’m not hauling light tables or fabric or sewing machines. I will have hand work; I always do. But drawing. Because everything is making my head hurt.

In good news, we found 7 new Earth-sized planets…who’s ready? I feel like we could just start over there and leave the crap here.

*Tommy Tutone, 867-5309

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