So Much Easier

I’m back home. Briefly. Like four days, then gone again. I seem to have squished all my travel into a two-week time period. Like it’s almost not worth unpacking before packing again. Different trips though. For the residency, I needed to take seven thousand modes of artmaking. For visiting my daughter, I can stick to a sketchbook and some stitching. I do want to finish up using the dyes today…I should already be doing that, but I got distracted by things. I am very distractable. Distracted. Possibly distracting.

So here’s the last bit of things from the week at Dorland…this is where I dye painted every day in the morning and the evening, when the wind stopped being a crazy dick.

Sometimes it would pick up again right at 9:30 AM; sometimes it wouldn’t even have died down at 7 PM. I’d get a random 20-mph gust and be holding onto everything. But that was part of the challenge. Get up! Get off the chair, out of bed, and go paint before the wind or the dark comes! I’m having that problem today…no wind to make me move my ass. But I will paint today. As soon as I’m done with this, I’ll go set up the table in the driveway and paint until I run out of prepped fabric and/or dyes. I think I can do another 3 or 4. I like it! I don’t like all of what came out of it, but some of them I LOVE.

This is the last one I painted up there; the dyes washed out a lot (but I don’t have a picture of that yet).

I still love it. I’m going to wash all of them this week in the washing machine, final wash. Then decide what to do with them next.

Here’s these two washed out…I love the different ranges of brown in the top one. It all looked the same before I washed it out.

And the bottom one is perfect! By the way, I finally got test results and contact from Sharp…the test results popped up around midday (yes, I was obsessively checking the goddamned app every hour). Benign! Damage from last year’s surgery, probably from the radio transmitter thing they put in, because it went in in a different location from the surgery. Probably next year’s MRI will show damage from this biopsy. Sigh. Thanks body for inflammation and necrosis.

I also finished the second leg on this thing…

Just needs arms and a head. Not sure when I’ll get to that. I like doing it, but it’s so freakin’ slow. Not that the other methods I use are fast really.

I also tested out some of the other mark-making devices I had around the house. I need to wash these out and see what survives.

Some of those line drawings need color or something.

This view is of the valley during the day.

Oh man, I killed so many spiders in the house, mostly littles, but some bigs. One might have been a scorpion and one was a yick ugh camel spider/wind scorpion, not really either of those. It was under my bag when I moved it, went under the wood stove. Then the leather chair. I was obsessively watching it because it was huge. Went to bed and it moved across the room, under another bag (or worse…there were TWO of them). It was moving sluggishly and then sped the fuck up, when I screamed and brought in the shoe. I was gonna put it outside, but fucking no, not if you are that speedy and aggressive. Apparently it doesn’t have venom though…it just wants to be UNDER. Blech. No pictures. You can google it if you want.

I think this was from Sunset Point, which has a similar view to my porch. Closer to sunset.

There was a need to see the sun set each night. I’m going to be honest and say I never saw it rise. Mornings are not my thing. I did do one hike, but didn’t bring poles, so I didn’t do the whole thing. Probably did a mile and a half. Was strangely paranoid about wild animals and/or falling. Anxiety is a fun thing. It manifests wherever the fuck it wants.

Here was the indoor space when I had multiple projects going. I was in a Zoom or webinar, one project on the porch, a pile of stuff under the table, sewing machine to the left, the beginnings of the woman on the right. It was chaos.

Probably a smaller space wouldn’t have worked for me. I didn’t play with everything, but I did play with a lot of things. It was good; it was nice that it was close enough for me to fill the car with things to try. A longer trip? I’d focus on one type of thing, I think, and probably not the dye painting. It is chemical/supply heavy and a pain in the ass, honestly. It doesn’t mean I won’t do it again. I just am aware of the time suck now.

Once a day, y’all.

Some things from what I was reading over the week…

Drawing boobies whenever you want to. Still Christopher Moore’s Anima Rising.

This is intriguing…

From Rebecca Solnit’s Hope in the Dark.

Terrifying to think of…

More about education…

It’s mind boggling. But true. As is this…

Not my Supreme Court…still.

On fire.

I didn’t consciously know about the poet Andrea Gibson…I don’t follow a ton of poets. Maybe that’s a problem. But their stuff is beautiful.

And the world is less full and rich with their being gone…although their poetry remains.

While I was gone, two artist friends of mine were at the Lubeznik show in Indiana…in front of my work.

Which was cool to see.

I got home and unpacked a lot (not all of it) and cleaned part of the fridge, ironically, because to check out of the cottage, I had to clean it to save the cleaning fee, and I probably worked harder there than I ever do at home. That said, there were some things I pulled out of the cupboard that were sticky and I cleaned them prior to using them. But my fridge at home is mostly gross and I needed to get rid of some stuff, so I did all that. Kitten is now full time closed up in my office, to avoid Bowie interactions. So I’m living with a litter tray and food and water. This will be a little problematic when I need to start ironing tonight, but we’ll manage. She’s seriously old and needs peace. She’s currently on an old office chair and can jump down for what she needs. What she really needs today is a bath. Maybe later.

I also sorted the Wonder Under I finished cutting out up at Dorland…

I was tired after that. I’ll need to do some cleaning in here to be able to work on the next step. I also need to go into the ceramics studio…not sure when that is happening. I’ve got three doc appointments in two days (and one is a root canal, fun times), plus pilates (my hip is looking forward to that). Still trying to figure out the patterns of my blood sugar. Oh! And I need to make a video for Quilt National…I should do that today. Maybe. Maybe I should clean first.

Nova was glad to see me yesterday…

Lots of love. The others too…

OK. Dye painting today. I should shower first. I have pilates later today, but in the middle of the day, like a freak. I need to eat something. Might go straight to eating lunch. I have a headache. Sleep related? Not sure. My hip really hurts for some reason. The weather is weird, all cloudy and delightful. I should take advantage of that. So many things to do! That’s why being gone was so much easier.

Take the Legs…

Hello from Temecula still…it’s not far from home, but it’s far enough. I wished yesterday for my ironing board, but survived without it. I forgot Q-tips, but someone had left some. I might leave the center today to buy some stuff…or I might not. I’m feeling like town would be a shock to my system. So do I really need the stuff on my list? Probably nots.

Things I’m realizing so far: I hate rethreading my machine. It’s not hard. I just don’t like to do it. On this thread painting, I rethreaded it at least 25 times. No 35. Too many (for me).

She needs a base to live on…not sure what that looks like, but I’ll figure it out. Maybe when I get back.

I made about 14 dye paste colors, then painted one Monday night…

I think a lot of the orange will wash out, but we’ll see. I will be washing that one out after writing this and watching the SAQA Textile Talk about art communities. I will be washing Tuesday morning’s piece too…

Dye is nuts because it has to stay damp for 24 hours and then you still don’t know what it’ll look like. I’m embracing that. (Update: it’s taken over two hours to try to get this post to publish even as a draft…the iPad is old and apparently couldn’t handle it any more…so I’ve washed both out…I’ll post pics of those once they’re dry. I’ve also spent the last two hours listening to sirens going by; there’s a fire about 10 miles east of us that ballooned up to 200 acres. It’s moving away from us, but I did walk up to see the smoke–I’m down behind a hill–and was distracted by the Watch Duty app and evacuation warnings. None here…)

I did a black outline piece Tuesday evening, but the wind kept popping up and I didn’t want it to dry, so I didn’t even take a picture of it.

Finding places to store these is getting problematic as they get bigger. Now I’m just stacking them under that table, but the oldest ones are on the bottom…which is only an issue if I’m being systematic about washing them out. I want to see what they’re gonna look like. Am I wasting time on these? No because it was something I wanted to try.

Trying to beat the wind, I got up a little early this morning. I went to bed early but then had a blood sugar issue and didn’t get back to sleep until late. I might need a nap later. This one has a lot of color, and I used the dye bottles to draw.

I can’t say it’s easy to do and the dye paste might be a little runny, but I wanted to try.

This one I started because the wind hadn’t picked up yet, so I decided to try a small one with brushes instead of the bottles. The first one I did was all brushes too.

The dye paste mix is apparently good through Friday, so hoping for two or three more a day.

I also pieced a background for a more free form piece I’ll be working on today…I think.

I have a limited amount of non white fabric (I have a shit ton of that)…wait, not true. I have a lot of crazy-quilt-type fabric with me, but wanted a cotton base to build on.

This is where I wanted an ironing board… but I figured it out. I have a small pad, but it was hard to get this done. It’s still not flat but there’s gonna be stuff on top, so it won’t matter. I’m very cavalier about flatness. A lot of it quilts out, thank goodness, because I am not a master piecer.

There was a sunset meet and greet, although only two of us showed up. We had a good conversation though.

It’s really hazy up here, apparently still from wildfire. Little ones keep popping up, but nothing I can see from here, thankfully. I have my phone on in case my biopsy results come in…pretty sure my doc is on vacation unfortunately. I may call if I haven’t heard by tomorrow. Today is 5 business days. Stressful. So the phone keeps chiming in with fire notifications instead. I did not realize the original arts community up here burned back in 2004…so this is the rebuild. So it’s a good idea to keep the phone on.

In the evening, I like to sit and cut things out or stitch. I finished all the Wonder Under on Monday night…

7 1/2 hours. It’ll have to wait until I get home to get sorted and ironed to fabric.

Then last night, I pulled out the embroidery threads and that black and white improv quilt I finished last week and started working on it.

I don’t really have a plan, which is fine. I’m going to be here for a while (here being handstitching on this piece).

Ok, some random things…I brought way too many clothes for someone who was gonna spend 50% of their time in one set of barely acceptable dyeing clothes.

On Monday night, a huge spider (ok my Australian readers will laugh at my idea of huge, but a lot of ours are poisonous too, so bear with me) ran across the floor into the pile of stuff I brought and I got up and halfheartedly looked for it, but figured it would just stay out there. Until I went to get ready for bed, and faithful readers, either there are TWO of them or that fucker followed me into the damn bathroom. Big and stalky. Nope uh uh. Got a shoe and waited for it to get out of a corner and whacked it 5 times before it succumbed. Flushed its body but there were three legs I couldn’t deal with…too creeped out, so I left them. Next morning, two legs were gone. This place has ants….not horrendous but enough that you don’t leave your dishes out, and those annoying bastards had taken the two legs for me. By this morning, they took the last one. I feel more friendly toward the ants now. Also there better not be another giant spider in the house. I killed a big red ant and a smaller spider, and then there was this guy…

I called it “Sir” about 10 times before persuading it to leap from the door.

I was going to go run errands, but none of them are desperate. Fire makes me anxious. Plus I haven’t gotten much done (besides dye painting two things, washing out two others, watching an art zoom, and trying to write this beast…way easier on a computer than the iPad, for sure. I need a new one. It’s ancient.) and I feel sort of reluctant to go anywhere. I’d have to put a bra on probably. And fight all those fire engines to get out (not really, but I’d rather stay out of their way).

OK. Rest of the day? (Note to nosy self: bring binoculars next time you’re on a hill.) Start freeform placing the figure on the pieced base. That’s all I’ve got. Brain is tired. I have lots I can work on…not worried about that. Play some music to drown out the sirens…that damn fire app will tell me if there’s an issue, but the fire is definitely moving east, away from us. Drink more tea.

Art and Wind

Oh hey. Monday…first full day at my residency at Dorland Mountain Arts in Temecula…really just a week away from all the shit I need to get done at home and a chance to try out some new and/or different stuff. Right now, I’m waiting for the midday wind to die down so I can make more dye paste. I made some this morning and had to make more print paste. When I went out to make the rest, the wind was a bit crazy, so I did some thread painting instead.

Meanwhile, I had two pieces in the Infinite Rivers exhibit at The Front Arte Cultura gallery in San Ysidro on Saturday night. This is My Body. My Choice.

It’s about abortion rights, looking at different types of people who might need an abortion, pushing back against the bubble people who try to force their beliefs on everyone.

This is Same As It Ever Was.

When I got there, the little girl was leaning up against the quilt and eating. Her mom or grandma was selling some baskets and woven things, so they were sitting next to it. I asked the little girl not to lean on it (it is mostly washable, but I try to avoid it if possible) and then later told her she needed to be in the photo, so she produced a perfect smile (unlike me, who often produces some fake smile and I don’t even know where it comes from).

This quilt is about a lot of things…white women’s feelings about Roe v Wade falling, while people of color, indigenous folks, and LGBTQIA folks remind us that for some, it has always been this way, big red-faced white men in suits and robes yell at us about all the things we don’t get.

It’s a great show with a lot of variety. I’ll try to post more when I get home. Some things are just easier on a computer than on an ancient iPad.

I’ve been cutting out more Wonder Under up here…now 3/4s done.

I will probably finish tonight, ready to sort and iron when I get home.

I packed Saturday night and Sunday. I wasn’t sure it would all fit; I’ve got 4 different types of projects I’m working on here and they each use a different part of my stash. Kinda nuts really.

Here’s the cottage I’m staying in…

And the porch where I’m dyeing…

Fabric dyeing. Not end of life dying. that silent ‘e’ is really difficult in a conversation.

Did a short hike yesterday…up to the tiny lake, down to Sunset Point, up part of the Dorland Mountain and Bee Canyon hikes. It’s too warm to hike until 7 PM-ish, which doesn’t leave much time. I’m not an early riser. I also prepped some of the chemicals for today. I should have done more, but I didn’t realize the wind would be so boisterous.

I also prepped the fabric. Then last night, I tried some line drawing with the machine…

Thread tension was cranky as shit, even after I cleaned everything out. But eventually I got something to play with. Then today, I tried some thread painting.

Got a lot more to do on that one.

I still have the dye stuff set up outside (consolidated now because the wind blew most of it off the table…wind is not joking)…

Storing some in the bathtub so it doesn’t dry out.

I’d like to take a nap (didn’t sleep well), but I feel like I’m waiting for the doc to call with biopsy results and don’t want to sleep through it. Silly. I’m sure I’d hear it. Just tense about it.

Ok, the wind is still nuts. I know it calmed down last night. So I’ll do some more stitching inside until it chills out. Here’s a treat from last night…

More art tomorrow…

On Time Is What I Say It Is…

Oh yeah. Again. Lost days. I can’t remember WHY yesterday was a lost day, but it was. It wasn’t. I did things. I might not remember what I did, but I did things.

The current quilt: I’m trimming Wonder Under…

It’s remarkably slow.

I’ve made it halfway as of last night…

And it’s taken almost 5 hours. There’s two more yards to cut out. Just a lot of smaller complicated pieces. I won’t finish before I go on my residency. I’ll probably take the remainder with me, just as brainless filler. Along with other things. All the things.

I met with friends on Thursday and did some stitching on this…

I worked on it last night too, and it’s almost done. I’m taking it with me next week too. Like I said; I’m taking everything. Just moving the whole stash up to the cottage and then bringing it all back. Not really. But it kinda feels that way.

I thought I had finished all this until I was packing it up and realized the gun on the tank is not glazed.

In reality, I’m gone for a week and we’ll see where it’s at when I get back. This hand has broken off more times than I can say…it’s slightly lower than the board and the board doesn’t fully support it.

Stupidity on my part. Hopefully it will survive the next week. I am taking some clay with me…one thing that’s formed that I started carving into like three months ago. Another slab of clay to make something else to carve. I need to make the wet box today for that.

The girlchild is here for a long weekend. She cooked us dinner last night, but there is always time for Simba.

He likes it.

I screenshot this because I like it…

I actually have been trying not to use the word beautiful to describe people or smiles or eyes or hair or whatever. I’m not perfect at that though. But yeah, beautiful is not something I’ve ever been…and I’m OK with that. Or pretty honestly. And right now, I have another hole in my boob and an allergic rash from the adhesive patch and a scratch from Kitten. Oh, and acne at age 58! Ah well. I forgot to wash my face one night. So there we are.

Today. Today is packing and organizing and trying to be ready to leave tomorrow. Plus an art opening down in San Ysidro. And getting the office ready so Kitten can be in here without my carrying her out to the litter tray and food 5 times a day (yes, that is what I am doing at the moment.). Hopefully next week, I’ll be able to get lots of fun things done. And maybe blog on time (it’s my schedule, so it’s on time is what I say it is.). And maybe just be an artist for a week. I food prepped yesterday to help with that. I don’t need to think about what food; I just need food. Yeah. Looking forward to this, even though I am also anxious about it. That’s how the brain works. Art brain is racing forwards and the rest of my brain is trying to make sure there’s enough fabric. And it’s scoured. Crazy, right?

So Out of It…

Well hello. I don’t know what day it is. Don’t ask me. I know my art residency is coming up soon and I should be maybe panicking more about packing for that. Although I’ve been collecting shit in piles for days. There needs to be more though. Really. Really? Welcome to my brain.

The Man says I can’t call this a waste of a day. Even though really nothing is getting done, it’s a day when a thing needed to happen, which is why I am currently strapped up in three Ace bandages with an ice pack on my boob. Fun times. I got less than four hours of sleep last night and then had a needle stabbed from the left side of my left breast all the way across to my cleavage. Also, I’m fascinated by the word ‘lavage’. It has such a nice sound for what it actually is. And I had an official ‘boob holder’ nurse who kept pressure on the bleeding hole while I walked across and through a waiting area and a hallway and another desk area to a lying-down place (it had a name), where she continued to squeeze my boob as we talked about school and art and her kids. I wish I could tell you I remember her name, but I don’t. The bleeding did stop. Eventually. I don’t remember the last biopsy being this annoying…it also wasn’t over 90 degrees out and I probably had more sleep. I slept on the couch through the middle of the day and then all of a sudden, it was 4:30 PM. Girlchild is coming tonight. I need to deal with her room, the compostable trash, and dinner. It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m annoyed by the compression bandage (who wouldn’t be?)…it’s uncomfortable and hot and itchy. That said, they found a thing they didn’t like and now they have sampled it and hopefully it is nothing and if it is something, then that boob will get a second scar, and it’s a good thing I didn’t get around to tattooing the first one, because they will be dueling scars. SIGH. Fucking huge sigh. Science is good. Really. Also, I found the acetaminophen (yeah, I knew I spelled that wrong, flipped the a and the o)…so pain relief! Well, no, because honestly, aceta…fuck…Tylenol doesn’t do much for me. Tomorrow! I can remove the 17 Ace bandages and take real meds.

So. Art. I have two openings this weekend, which is awesome. I posted about Infinite Rivers down in San Ysidro before; I will be at that opening (5-7 PM), and I know I’ve mentioned the Lubeznik show, Women to the Front: Artworks from the Sara M. and Michelle Vance Waddell Collection, but they sent installation pictures…so here’s those.

There’s my piece The Way Out in the center. And there it is again.

This is an amazing show.

Lots of cool people in there.

More installation photos…

Another one…

Another one…

And another…

More…

Looks like an awesome show. Wish I could check it out. Couldn’t figure out how to get there and see it without spending a million bucks, plus I had the residency and the other opening.

I finally finished tracing…

It was 17 1/2 hours total…

Bowie is so not helpful…it’s 4 yards…

Time to trim. Obviously not getting to the ironing before I go on the residency.

I finished making this a solid rectangle.

I’m not sure how I feel about it…I think I will be embroidering it. Words I think. It needs a good solid ironing too. Maybe tonight.

Maybe something about this idiot.

Maybe I’m confused by why you would need to advertise the baby, put the baby in a vehicle that has so many recalls, drive such an ugly stupid vehicle and then put this ugly stupid sticker on it? Ah well, they probably feel the same about my bird-poop-covered car with its National Park stickers.

This is too real. I have a piece of wall in the hallway that’s needed to be painted for over a year. I thought I had bought a roller for it but can’t find it…so I bought another one.

Sigh. But haven’t painted it yet (just bought the new roller yesterday though).

This is mind-boggling…

My Medicaid household member has a workers’ comp back injury. How is that gonna work? Are they going to drive him to wherever he needs to work? Are there farmers near here for that? Are they going to house the babies, children, and elderly who will be doing that work? The disabled? Absolutely so insensitive and idiotic.

Luna has toe beans to show you…

The heat takes it out of the animals too…

Poor Simba. His boy is gone again. No long-term fires yet though. Knock on wood. There was one down here, heard all the helicopters and sirens and got all the warnings on multiple phone apps. It’s under control now…stopped forward progress. It was heading for one of our local hiking spots. Gotta stop it (also houses, so there’s that).

OK. I usually would now tell you all the things I’m going to do today. I am feeling more human finally, although ready to rip these Ace bandages off…ugh. I might get some fabric pulls together for next week. I might read my book some more. I might drink more tea. Feed the dog, deal with trash, make dinner, go get girlchild. Oh shit, finish cleaning up her room. Gonna go do that now. So out of it…

Get My Act in Gear…

Hello Monday. I am, as always, not prepared for your existence. And yet, you arrive. With emails. And a to-do list. I finally managed to cross one thing off my to-do list that has been on there for probably 6 months. Impressive. I’m going to do a few more today. Maybe. Because sometimes I only get one thing done. And the quick start I wanted for the morning did not happen. Ah well. Typical.

It was a slow weekend. I mean, not really…but in terms of a diary of what I did, I got a scratch on the back of my leg from a stabby pot and a scratch/divot on my finger from IDK what plant did that. And bites…buggy/spidery/skeetery bites. I got those. I spent too much time watching flood stuff in Texas. We all did, right? Horrifying. Not preventable, but certainly we could be doing more than we are right now…increasing climate crap plus warning systems. I’m boggled by where the blame goes. I’m boggled by a lot lately. Humans don’t do what’s in their best interests.

The Man had a show on Saturday night downtown. I rode the trolley down and read my book the whole way, as the soccer fans filled up the trolley, and then all got off at the stadium. The band is trialing with a new singer, who actually sings for another band.

It was different. They opened for another band. There weren’t as many people there as usual (day after a major holiday). We ended up having to stay really late to get back. It was fine; I read a lot of my book before and after they played. Not sure what it all means for the future of the band.

I traced for about 3 hours on Saturday and another 90 minutes last night. Those are hot cats on Saturday afternoon…

And Bowie not helping last night…

He stabbed the planet Jupiter (the drawing) and then tried to eat the corner. He’s not the first cat to do so. Nova ate a piece out of a drawing a few years back. I do cover things up when I’m not tracing, because they are excited by paper and want to destroy it.

I have filled two yards of Wonder Under and started on a third.

I’m in the low 900s, so about 450 pieces to go. I’ve been tracing for 11 1/2 hours. Yikes. It’s been slow. I’m hoping to do a goodly chunk today and tomorrow. It’s supposed to get a lot warmer in a few days. Don’t want to be sitting in the window/hottest part of the house then. Although trimming will just be on the couch.

It’s a busy week. Need to clean up the girlchild’s room because she’s coming to visit. I’ve been collecting materials for next week’s residency. I have another breast biopsy on Wednesday…hoping to have negative results before the weekend (they were fast before), but no guarantees. I need to shop for food and do food prep before the residency. I have an art opening on Saturday night. I’d like to get to the gym; I have two pilates classes scheduled, but I’m waitlisted on both. OK, it doesn’t sound busy, but that biopsy will eat up time and energy. Mentally and physically.

Trying to read nonfiction from Rebecca Solnit in between fiction, which is where my brain prefers to be…

And this is what will get me through all the stupid shit my country is continuing to do. And it’s why I make art. Well, that and my sanity.

Here’s the owl hanging out on the pole under the box…

This is dad. There are two babies I can hear. They’re loud this year. And we haven’t even gotten to the part where they come out and practice flying. It’s all good. Just glad to have them back.

Today. Finish strapping the three sprinklers to rebar (fun times). Create a wet box for ceramic stuff. TAKE A DAMN SHOWER (I do that every day, but sometimes it’s hot enough that I need two). Go to ceramics and attach that damn hand again. Sew up the boychild’s pants (they just went in the washer). Trace for a few hours. Read a few books. Go try to find my deodorant at a different store (the only one I’m not allergic to at the moment, knock on wood). There’s probably more things on the to-do list that aren’t here, but many of them are overwhelming so I just do a bit at a time. Which is fine. Pretty much need to get my act in gear though. Like now.

Refill the Cup

I really hate my ironing board. I would like a new one, one that doesn’t have sharp metal feet that grab my toes. One that is stable and doesn’t threaten to fall over. That said, when I’ve tried to find ironing boards in the past, they’re even more tippy and unstable than this one…this one was my grandmother’s, I think. It’s ancient. I put a heavy board on top that I use for ironing quilts together, because I need a larger space. At the moment, I have to move it around a lot because I’ve been trying to clean up in here and it’s problematic…I can’t put fabric on one shelf where it used to be, because one of two cats keeps peeing on it. I’m pretty sure it’s the old lady, but it might be the teenaged boy…they regularly are vying over the space. Probably the old lady. I even had piled some towels up that I was using to cover the fabric bins there, and then she peed on those. So. Yeah. I’m having to store bins on the floor and this room is not very big anyway…with two desks, a table, three bookshelves, a computer, a sewing machine, and all my fabric (well, not really ALL my fabric…that’s funny), it’s just crowded. The ironing board is always open and I move it around for what/where I need to use it. And every time I search for a new one, I get sidetracked by options and reviews and can’t make a decision. Because there isn’t an ironing board store I can go to and look at them (OMG I am old), so I have to do it all online, and the thought of trying to return an ironing board makes me break out in hives. So there’s that. But we might be there.

So the stupid stuff, eh? Overwhelming. But I could focus on the big fat ugly bill or Alligator Alcatraz and why we think it’s OK to treat HUMANS that way or the campers missing in Texas after the floods (look! God took the white Christian girls! See, it’s not any better, is it? It doesn’t matter what the kids look like or where they come from…it’s not OK.). Sigh. Certainly didn’t do much celebrating yesterday. My country is broken. OK, it always was broken. Now it’s just more in your face about it. So I’m trying to live my tiny life in the middle of all that. Plus this week, the Man will hear about a job (yes please) and I have a biopsy (ugh) and the girlchild is coming to visit (yay) and I need to pack for my residency (yikes). It’s not the chillest week in the world. My response to that is to read more books. And try to clean and fix more things. With the help of the Ex, the sprinklers are now back up and running. I tried but there needed to be more things fixed than the one I did (it was a valve). The two sprinklers that really weren’t working were totally corroded inside (ah, hard water)…so replacing those (and blowing all the dirt through the system) helped immensely.

This was a big achievement. I’ve had this on my list for months. I replaced one thing and then nothing worked. Sigh. I tried to patch the gap on the deck too, but I couldn’t get the caulk to move. Might just be too old? Frustrating though. So I think I’m going to Home Depot later. Fun times. I ran some errands on Thursday (waited until rush hour like an idiot) and ran into a former student, a not-pleasant reminder of him. I had totally blocked him and his entitlement and his annoying parents (mom mostly) from my mind, and now I need to reblock him. It’s OK. He’s a kid. Even as an adult, I won’t need to deal with him…and maybe he’ll get a clue by then. He’s smart, just spoiled.

So artwise, I’ve been sort of efficient. I’ve made it to the ceramics studio more times than usual, which is good.

A bunch of stuff fell/broke (I think it gets bumped on the shelf) and I had to fix a lot, but I got the greens done. Went back yesterday and reattached and reglazed stuff that broke, but that damn hand broke off again.

I’m close though. Almost there. Honestly, it’s glazed except for the flagpole and reglazing all the broken stuff.

I just need to finish it and get it in the kiln. Like this week. Hopefully.

I pinbasted my Sue Spargo Folk Tails, which has been done since 2020? I think? Seriously.

Mostly I hadn’t done it yet because I wanted to finish the bird one first (the bigger one) before stashing a bunch of safety pins in something that would just sit in a pile for a while. It’s a challenge to quilt this…mostly because I need to go AROUND everything. Not hard, just a pain. So it’s next on my list to finish this summer. But before I do that, I’m trying to piece together the improv piece I did on Zoom with Irene Roderick…

It’s all these random shapes that need to fit together, and then I need to make it into a rectangle shape. So I worked on that yesterday. I have it all in three pieces at the moment, with a freaking Y seam (not the first). Almost there. This is so not my style, and I realized at Quilt National that all the Irene people’s quilts look similar, so I’m deciding how to make it mine. I’m trying to finish this so I can take the design board on my residency next week. Whatever gets it done, right? I could probably finish putting the top together today.

Then I cut out all the wool/cotton bits for the side borders of Homegrown (another Spargo…yeah, I enjoy making them), pinned them on, and am slowly stitching them all down. I won’t get this one done in 2025. Bet.

The embroidery will take forever and then I’ll put it in a pile for a year or two before deciding to quilt it. Let’s be real. It’s not about the finished product; it’s totally about the making.

In art quilt news, I’m still tracing Wonder Under…

The dirt was a lot of big pieces, and then I had a bunch of little pieces that fit in between all those big pieces.

I tried a bund of people and then started tracing gravestones. Right when those dumbasses passed a bill kicking a ton of real live people off Medicare. Including one I live with…yeah, it won’t take effect until after the November elections, and hopefully he’ll have a job by then, but there’s a lot of people who can’t work or can’t find work. So we aren’t taking care of people any more unless they’re so rich they don’t really need to worry about it.

Last night, I made it into the low 600s…of 1366.

Not even halfway. I was hoping to be done with tracing today, but I would have had to be way more focused than I have been for that to happen. So maybe that’s the other thing I’m doing today. I’m still only on the second yard of Wonder Under…lots of small pieces to drive me nuts later.

My little quilt made it to my SIL for her birthday.

I love the location.

I lost the dog in the ferns…he likes to pee in there.

Really, this is yet another part of the yard I need to control. Ha! This yard is beyond my ability. I’d need a gardener and even then…

I found these guys (screamed a little because a bunch were on my shirt) while trimming shit.

They become some kind of beetle. But for now, they are in the greenery trash can.

I saw this…and yes, I feel like I need that but also, no I’m not doing that.

I’m putting it here for when I’m really old and retired and maybe bored (will I ever be bored?). That dissociative state is looking nice.

Although honestly, making art helps with that. And it’s too hot for sweatpants, but the other night, I found myself tracing Wonder Under with shorts and a tank top on, but also fuzzy socks, because my feet were cold. Love old body. It’s so inconsistent.

This.

So frustrating. Incredibly.

Simba after three hours of fireworks on THURSDAY night (not even the 4th, y’all). He barked the entire time. And I was tracing stuff, so I wasn’t making him feel safe.

Last night, he was better…only a little. Mostly because the boychild was back. For how long? We never know. His sister is coming to visit, so if previous years are anything to go by, he’ll be sent to some fire this week.

This is amazing. This is Liberty Bleeds by Niki McQueen.

I wish I had enough wall space for her work (it’s available as posters to benefit the ACLU)…it reminds me of my own stuff, the cutting open part.

I think Nova is the big softie that both Luna and Bowie turn to for love and safety.

Luna is so paranoid. And it’s hot, so it’s funny when they curl up together, because I’m like, don’t fucking touch me, it’s hot. And yet there’s always a cat or a dog (or both) next to me.

This is always true.

So yeah. I think I already decided I’m piecing things and tracing things today. The Man has a show tonight downtown, so I’m probably riding the trolley down and then getting a ride back. Their regular lead singer has ‘quit’ (we hope not permanently), so they’re borrowing a singer from another band. Should be interesting. Luckily they are the opening band, so it’s not a midnight thing. I’m too old for that stuff? That’s a lie; I happily stay up past midnight doing art things. I just don’t like mornings. My goal for the week? Be chill. Stay chill. Make the things. Find the supplies for next week. So excited for next week. Meal planning now. And making sure I have materials. I don’t want to get up there and realize I need one chemical I left at home. Inevitably I will forget something though. Truth. 33 days until school. I can’t find a countdown timer that works with the iphone widget or whatever they’re calling it now. Frustrating. That and the ironing board problem are an issue for another day though. Right now, I need to eat, shower, and do some stuff that refills the cup. Or something. Finds the spoons.

It Should Be OK…

Sitting here waiting for health insurance chat to answer. So much wait time with health stuff. That’s not going to get better. And I’m glad to have insurance. Health stuff is stressful. Time-consuming. Expensive. Crucial. It’s so easy for some people to say, well get a job, then you’ll get healthcare…not always true, not always possible. My household includes someone who’s been trying to get a job with physical restrictions for over a year, and it’s not as easy as J.D. Vance and his compatriots think it is. People with disabilities who may need support at work; they just don’t get interviews, or they get one and then get ghosted. It’s stressful for all of us to see that and live with it. But hey, we’re not rich, so we don’t matter. We’re gonna die anyway. The politicians…sigh…I mean, at least Lisa Murkowski was honest about doing what’s best for Alaskans, but in doing so, fucked the rest of us. The rest of those who voted for that bill? What is wrong with them? Some complain and then vote for it anyway? And now the government is refusing to send all the education money that Congress allocated. As someone in a Title I school, where kids live in a variety of not-great situations, I’m worried; no that’s not a big enough word for what they’re doing to kids, to families who struggle, to anyone of color. I don’t get it. I’m scared by it. Worried is not a big enough word.

So in all that, I make art. And try to get control of my diabetes. And worry about the things growing in my boob. And worry about my cat…she’s old and not doing well, especially with the heat. Worry about my job. New boss. The damn sprinklers. How to paint the shed when one wall is right against a chainlink fence. Obviously need to make more art, exercise more.

Finished numbering.

Did you guess? I guessed 1500 based on where I was and how much was left. I was wrong…it’s 1366…

Give or take a few, because I always miss something or double number something. Not a ton, but a lot. A goodly amount. I could have filled the sky in and got more, but I kind of didn’t want to. So I didn’t.

Last night, I started tracing…

I’ll be there for a while. Like 12 more hours probably. Which is fine. I’d like to get myself to a place where I’m tracing for more than an hour a day, but so far, there’s been too much other stuff to do. I spent the last two days planning with my science partner, about 8 hours total. It looked a lot like this…

Well, and there was other stuff, but this is the only picture I took, and I took it because I realized when I moved all the files, I wouldn’t be able to find them in all the other files because most of them had illogical names. I can delete this picture now. THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE IT WILL EXIST.

Anyway, I’d like to say that my 8 hours (it was more than that; I did some at home too) of unpaid work was all I needed to do for school this summer, but that’s not true. We’re meeting again in August. We did well, but my late August/September self will be happier if I do a bit more specific shit. But not today. Today, I need to go to the ceramics studio and underglaze. I know I broke something on Friday. I felt it. Like every fucking time, I’m breaking shit. Sigh. And there will probably be a bunch of people there, but I couldn’t handle going the last two afternoons…I was so braindead after working, so I didn’t go. Oops. Oh well.

That political shit again.

And the amount they want to spend on ICE? Just terrorizing people who are actually trying to be legal and paying taxes and all that shit? Who aren’t committing crimes? So fucked up.

Attempting to ignore the political crap is impossible. I can hide in art, but my art is also political, so it’s not always hiding in a non-stressful way. Ah well. I can try to eat better and make art and clean the house and take care of the cat and paint the shed. I mean, that might be all I really can do at the moment. And I know that should be OK, but it’s not. Not for the planet or the country. OK. Going to ceramics…soon. Then I’ll just do what I can.

Art Things…

Hi ho hi ho, it’s off to work I go…except I can’t whistle. I really can’t. Never been able to. There are 19 days of school left. I had myself persuaded that because I was missing part of this week and next week is short because of the holiday, that I only had one 5-day week left. But no. My school board, which is barely sentient some days, decided to add some random 3-day weekends in the fall for unknown reasons that just mess up my students beyond belief, so we are not finishing on a Thursday, but the following Tuesday. Sigh. Don’t like it. So two 5-day weeks left. Yesterday was math state testing; today is science (no pressure, no stress!). I have 3 more classes of big science packets to grade, plus one more class of the last academic thing I should have graded two weeks ago (I’m rolling behind). I have one academic thing from this last Monday that I’ll be grading on the plane if the internet holds. Knock on wood. It would be great to take a long weekend in May and NOT grade shit, but that’s actually impossible. Grades are coming up and there’s no leeway on that end-of-year deadline. For some kids, it’s whether they promote or not. A little high stakes. Fun times. Last year, when we went to Maine for my niece’s graduation, I also graded on the plane. It’s a tradition!

Yeah well. So. Trying to keep my art self satisfied as I manage the end of the school year…so I finished ironing to fabric last night…

I’m surprised this took as long as it did; it’s super uncomplicated and relatively small for me.

OK, it only took a little over two hours…I was just doing a lot of other things at the same time; hence three nights to get it done.

I put a second coat of underglaze on this…

Definitely too much. It’s a good underlayer though. I guess. I had to fix a couple of things again. I seriously think people bump it as they’re pulling their stuff out. Next layer will be more neutral, I think, to match the base. but that’ll be next week. Then I need to do all the details, which will take a million years.

I find this amusing…Amazon misses me. I’ve significantly cut back on my Amazon shopping, either finding it locally or somewhere else that’s independently owned or just not buying it.

Same with Target, but their response was to discontinue my store card. Ah well! Also, not sure what that’s a picture of that I’m gonna like, but I’m not clicking on it. I did panic and buy some Wonder Under last week. It’s already gone up in price and it’s made in Spain. So. Yeah. I think I have a couple years’ worth now.

Sigh. Stupid world. Stupid country. Stupid government. Stupid white men. Watching The Handmaid’s Tale Season 6…dark and sometimes you wanna slap June, but there’s a lot of oh hey, we could do that.

One of the things I’m grading has these snowbaby drawings the kids made. These are both by boys…

But impressive. I told both of them they should take art in high school.

Because it’s such a lucrative job, right? Ha.

This is a little close to home. People give me tea; ironically, I mostly only drink one kind.

But I understand this. There’s always a cupboard.

The Man’s carnivorous plants are cute but deadly.

That bug is living dangerously.

OK. I started packing last night. And panicking. Oh wait, no, I’ve been doing that for days. It’s fine. I’ll get to the airport and be fine. I’ve mostly resigned myself to having some random center seat for both flights, but maybe I can wangle an aisle. I’m also resigned to being half asleep for days. Also was joking last night about what to wear to the slightly fancier artist reception and banquet…probably jeans and a t-shirt were out. The Man says, well black. With black. I said but fancy. He said Fancy Black. I said, oh hey, also cold. Fancy Warm Black. But sometimes it’s warmer inside and cold outside. Fancy Warm Black LAYERS. Yup. That’s me. Although I found one thing that’s not black. For once. PACKING. Plus that’s after school and prepping for a sub and grading all the things and pilates. So good luck to me. And then up at Fuck It in the morning and getting on a plane to art things. All good. Should do more of it, but it’s expensive and stressful. So there’s that. Balance! I suck at it.

Trying to Live a Full Life…

OK, so this week is just plain weird. State testing for two days, so 3+ hours with kids for two days, then they leave and I hopefully am super efficient and finish grading everything (ha! hahahahah.). Then I leave at some ungodly hour on Thursday for Quilt National, knock on wood, everything goes well. You never know. I certainly don’t. Looking forward to it though. Seeing the art. Talking to artists. Fun stuff, really. It’s one of the things I appreciate about the art quilt world. In fact, I was at a local SAQA meeting on Saturday, and it’s cool to see people present their work and talk about what they do. It makes me feel like I don’t do much, though…they’re all starting philanthropic groups and teaching classes and writing books…and I just make quilts. It’s OK…I don’t want to teach quilt classes and I don’t know what I’d write a quilt book about that would actually get published anywhere, so for now, I’ll just keep making the work. Which is, in fact, the part I like best.

So on Friday, I had to put two heads back on, and finally decided that the clay coathanger was not gonna work, so I made a new hand with a hole in it, and I’ll make a metal coathanger to go in there. That’s a better idea anyway. I got everything reattached and put the first super light layer of underglaze on…

It’s a bit too pinky. I’ll work on that. I’m gonna be underglazing for a while, no matter what. I’m hoping I don’t have to keep fixing things, but I’m sure I will. There’s a lot of things attached to this.

I finished tracing the last of the pieces for the new quilt, which is small (for me), on Friday night. And then I cut them all out.

It’s only got like 137 pieces, so it was fast. I was going to start ironing to fabrics on Saturday, but Kitten had some major pee/poop issues and it involved some fabric bins. She’s decided that’s where she lives now, and I had them covered by towels, but that’s not enough in this case. So I ended up washing two bins of fabric with the pee remover stuff and then sorting through about 8 bins of fabric, culling fat quarters for donation. I never made it through all of my fabric over a year ago when I last did this, so it was a good time to do that. I keep the stuff I use the most, and because I use super small pieces with most fabrics, those are the ones I cut in half, donating some to Social Justice Sewing Academy and some to the Navajo Quilt Project. It allows me to keep buying some fabric (I like a huge palette), but not be drowning in fabric. Here’s some of what I sorted through.

Grays and blues mostly. It’s also nice to reacquaint myself with fabrics I haven’t seen for a while. There’s some in those bins that will be hair in the new quilt, I think. The blues, not the grays, just in case you’re thinking I’m normal.

Last night, I finally started ironing the pieces of the new quilt down to fabric.

Not so exciting in the color ranges at the moment. This won’t take long. I might even finish tonight. We’ll see.

At the SAQA meeting on Saturday, I recognized this artist, Ellen Ann Eddy…

I’ve always loved her work; I took one of her classes early on in my art quilt development, but obviously, her method didn’t really stick. I do have a baby I made in her style way back in the day that I meant to make into something bigger. Maybe should pull that out.

That is how I feel some mornings, but I’m definitely not 29. My knees are not anywhere close to 29.

Anyway, art tonight, grading all day, kids complaining that they still have to work…all day, every day. Book club tonight! Yes, I finished the book, thank goodness. I actually really liked it, although I’m blanking on it right now. Not really awake. Lots of meetings today. Gotta write sub plans. All good. Trying to live a full life means I have bits of bougainvillea in my thumb right now, a quilt in progress, many shipping dates coming up, at least one thing I need to enter, cat laundry to do (yes, more, but not pee this time), and four thousand things to grade. Or throw away? It’s possible I will do that. Shhh. Don’t tell the kids. Must go to work now.