Tag: Wonder Under

Our Way Is Darkest Night*

Well. In case you were wondering, making an anti-gun quilt doesn’t stop people shooting other people. And neither does voting in politicians who make stronger gun laws, because my state, although it has many positive qualities, cannot stop other states from selling angry white men more guns. And it cannot stop those men from coming back to our state, because we don’t believe walls are the solution…we believe government should be the solution, government should protect us from AK-47s…my state can’t stop men bringing those guns back to our state and killing innocent people enjoying themselves at a garlic festival. I will continue to be angry at those who perpetuate the gun sales (this gun is not necessary to anyone) and the hatred toward other and the anger and the illogical science behind white supremacy. How is a 19-year-old so angry that this makes sense? Killing a child? I’m sad. I’m frustrated.

Sigh.

I also have a massive headache because I had to fast this morning for a medical test and I just got some water and tea and food in me, and my body is still trying to decide if that’s enough. It’s not. More of all of those things.

I’ve been gone from the computer for a couple of days. I’m trying to manage all the things. Ha! There are too many things. Always. The copyediting project came in yesterday, so I will start dealing with that today. It’s a whole ‘nother mind set. The to-do list has spilled over into multiple days on my calendar now, so that’s an issue.

Sunday, I had an art meeting, so I will have pictures from that (also means I need to write a blogpost or two for them. One today. One next week. It’s on my calendar now.). I didn’t get much art done Saturday…I painted ceramics (crap, I need a photo of that) and went to the man’s show. Sunday, I only got this done…

Last night, I only got 5 more letters done. I’ll get there. It’s not hard. I just don’t have a lot of time right now.

Yesterday, I was at the EdInnovateLive2019 conference here in San Diego. This is Sir Ken Robinson, of TedTalk fame. He was funny…and right on.

There were some interesting speakers here, but it was a lot more sitting than I like. I missed today’s lectures for the medical stuff. The conference was at University of San Diego…and it was a beautiful day.

It’s a nice school. Although religious and freakin’ expensive.

I started drawing this somewhere…Palm Springs? Worked on it at one of the wineries we toured, and finished it in one of the lectures yesterday.

Want to color it? Join my Patreon. I need to scan it and clean it up, and then send it off to my Patreon peoples…

Calli last night…waiting for me to solve the problem of firecrackers. I cannot do this baby girl.

I finally finished cutting all these pieces out…

It took 7 hours to cut them all…

And another 41 minutes to sort them…

It was worth staying up a little late for that.

OK, now I’m ready to start ironing. Well. Except the studio is a mess. I have a pile of fabrics to put away. I have to think about guns and white boys and anger and abortion rights and trauma-based instruction (that’s the copyediting) and the beginning of the school year and getting new students. Then I can iron.

*Led Zeppelin, Bron-Y-Aur Stomp

A Few Moments…

Oh my Saturday. A day off? I think that means I don’t need to run any errands today. Because the last two days have kicked my errand-running ass. Really, trying to drive all over town in stupid traffic with stupid people cutting me off or refusing to let me get over from an only lane or not letting me out of my parking space (like really? MOVE…) is not a fun way to spend a day…or two. The plus is that a bunch of stuff is done and out of my hair and some things I actually did EARLY for once in a million years. I still have 4 bags of books that need to make it to library bookshops (why do they make it such a pain in the ass?). But I can do that. AND I got Speculoos cookies from Trader Joe’s (which I really don’t need…but whatever…). NO ERRAND DAY. Actually, today is kinda squishy packed anyway, but with sociable stuff. And dancing. With strangers. Because that’s how I roll.

So one thing I did yesterday was to check out this gallery where I’ll be entering work in September. I should have checked it when I was in Liberty Station last week, but that slipped my mind. And ironically, I’ll be there again today. So I didn’t need to go yesterday, but apparently my brain didn’t know that. Fucker.

Having seen the space, I’m feeling much better about hanging my work there.

I did a return shopping thing, smiled at Greenpeace kids, shipped two things out in a post office I didn’t even know existed, and checked out another library space for quilt meetings (they didn’t have one), plus got rid of some kid books in a responsible manner. I also did a little shopping for food…yet another potluck on my schedule. I think I solved it. Unfortunately, I did have some stressful annoying irritating moments while doing all that. Like seriously, why are people so stupid in parking lots? I just don’t understand it.

True story. It was good. I don’t remember the lyrics any more though, so no fame and fortune for me. Screaming did help.

When I got done with all that, I felt like I owed myself a moment. A few moments. Sitting on the deck with the dogs while talking to the girlchild on the phone and trying to draw.

All the sticks and bits of sticks on the the deck are totally and completely Calli’s fault. I need to sweep again.

Watching the hummingbirds race around…this isn’t a final drawing. It’s a drawing toward an idea.

We’ll see where it goes.

I spent some afternoon time prepping the dinner parts so I could take the little dog out for a short walk. The old lady is still having issues and the boychild isn’t feeling well, so it was just me and the little asshole. Nice plant.

Could be thistle. Could be artichoke? Nah, thistle.

This path goes by houses for a good chunk of it. It’s not my favorite walk, but it’s good for a hot day and a short time period. I didn’t leave until 6 PM, because it was too damn hot…and I still had to make dinner.

Nice bits of shade.

Non native.

Side eye from the puppy about this project…

My words keep getting bigger. I might fix that. I might not. Adjust. Not tear out and redo.

I wanted to cut more out yesterday, but life. You know. It does what it does.

I did spend a few hours cutting though.

See? I tired him out.

I am so not ready for school. I’m not supposed to think about it until August 1. I’m failing at that.

Think quilt! I wanna make this quilt. I like it.

So I finished cutting 3 yards, one to go. I’m going to work on it today and hopefully get done, but I’m hanging with a friend doing something else for a few hours, then the man’s band plays tonight. Tomorrow I have a meeting midday, so that will affect my time. I am hoping that I have a big enough piece of background fabric to do this…I should figure that out before I head out, since the fabric store is near where I’ll be picking up my friend. Because I want to be ironing to fabric tomorrow sometime.

But first, shower, food, hopefully cut some stuff out before I need to leave.

And That’s Fine…

Oh my, it’s hot. I know some of the hot is my body deciding it wants to be on fire, but the rest is just summer. And it’s not even really THAT hot compared to what it will be in August and September. Turning a fan on helps. Not wearing clothes also helps, but is less socially acceptable. Calli (the dog) thinks going in the pool helps…she’s probably right. That’s the one I always forget to do.

I’m currently listening to a podcast-type thing that I paid for to help me control my hours at school (or on school, because I do a lot of it at home) tell me how to delegate the shit in my classroom. Sigh. OK. I hear you. They do more work so I can do the important stuff. I have a hard time giving up control of some things. I know that.

I went to the gym yesterday. I love the gym. I love having time to read. I love to exercise (I know, weird, huh?). I love the air conditioning. I’m trying to make it a habit again. It used to be. It was easier when other people weren’t dependent on my being home to cook or to cook for. So I’m going to have to figure that out this school year. The gym needs to fit in somewhere. Somehow. I do need to remember to either eat right before I go, or take food with me. My blood sugar started crashing while I was there. That’s two days in a row where in the past, I could just be hungry or skip food and it would be OK, but now, I get really low blood sugar, then eat to manage that, and feel dizzy and like shit for an extended period of time afterward. Not good. Don’t do that again. I sometimes have the same problem with dinner…like I need to eat, so I either have to try to find a snack that won’t blow up my blood sugar, or I need the person who’s cooking to get on with it. It’s not usually a problem, but sometimes it is. I’ve gotten my A1C down to a good number, but I’m still working on the nighttime blood sugars. It’s hard. My body doesn’t always behave logically. Annoying. So my goal today is to eat lunch on time. I’m cooking dinner, so I’m in charge for that one. Good plan.

I didn’t finish all the errands yesterday. I actually left the house and did a bunch and came back and realized I’d forgotten one (sigh). Today I have 5? Potentially 6? Six. I just wrote them on a post-it. Here’s how you don’t forget them.

I’m still waiting on the final version of the book I’ll be copyediting…starting next week, I suspect. I’m running out of days before I go back to school…like always! I hate that. Summer is a discombobulation. I swear, all these cats do is sleep.

Tough life.

Yet when it’s morning and they want their breakfast, I’m not allowed to sleep. Bastards.

I am working on this every night. I am not marking anything. The words are getting bigger for no reason at all. Geez. HATE is really big. Ironic. Or not.

I need to be done by the end of August. I should be able to do that. I also spent a few hours cutting shit out…hopefully more of that today.

I want to be done today. Girlchild is texting me about having to give up her California drivers’ license for a Masschusetts one. It’s sad for her. It’s sad for me too. I’d rather have her in California, but that’s not where she is right now. Stupid shit makes me cry sometimes. This summer is like the worst for that. Sigh. Random tears.

OK. Here’s what’s done so far…

I cut one partial yard (about 3/4s full) and another yard, I did about 2/3s. I’m not doing the math. I have 2 full yards and a 1/3 of the other one to finish. First? Six fucking errands. They are all purposeful. I wish I didn’t have to do all of them, but it is what it is. Then I will come back and bingewatch television while cutting shit out. And maybe if it cools down enough, I will walk a dog. The old lady? Sigh. Maybe we will do a short walk with both dogs and then a longer walk with no dogs. IDK. I want to go out and walk and the dogs are always my excuse, but it’s really fucking hot and I’m supposed to cook tonight. So there’s a timing issue. I’ll figure it out. It’s fine. Apparently my phrase for the summer is “It’s fine” or “And that’s fine”. I’m not sure either are true. What I really mean is that it’s annoying but I will handle it. It takes a lot longer to say that. It’s fine.

Part of the Story

So apparently evil gnomes numbered this drawing. Because there are so many double numbers, I have no freakin’ idea what happened. I must have been really tired or stressed (or both, thinking about what night it was). I screwed up multiple times. I’m like 150 pieces off. I have a’s and b’s to tell the numbers apart for like a stretch of 150 pieces. I’m hoping that after I got to wherever I stopped last night that I caught all the mistakes. One issue was that it’s round and I usually number from the bottom up. But that should have been fine because I did one half first and then the second half. I found one batch of lost pieces…I had numbered one side, started on the second side (with a completely random number…am I losing my mind?), but then realized I never numbered the arms on the other side, so I went back and did them. That does not explain the clusterfuck that was the rest of the numbering in this piece.

I didn’t finish last night. I was too busy trying to find all my mistakes and make sure I traced everything. I’m betting I still missed something. Aargh. Frustration. I don’t need things to take more time right now. I need everything to be very efficient. Fuuuck.

OK. Well. It’s done. The mistakes. They will be part of the story. The crazy story that is me and my art.

So I was at the gym yesterday, reading a book that was recommended to me by someone somewhere that I don’t remember anything about, and I get this…

Yeah. I don’t think the lack of estrogen makes us calmer. Laughing really loudly at that.

I had a stitching meeting in the afternoon…we old ladies chortle about crazy things and discuss how to overthrow the government. You think I’m kidding.

Susan spun, Kelly knitted, I stitched. I finished Earth Mother 8…

Now that’s two that need baths and ironing. One more to go.

And I started the Tiny Pricks project. I thought about how to transfer text and finally said fuck it and started stitching.

I don’t need no stinking markings. The text is from a speech he gave last weekend. It’s a rambling clusterfuck, so I’m just gonna stitch it all until I run out of space.

By the way, this is my country. I belong here. Well, the natives may feel differently, and I am sorry for that. I’m not fucking leaving. That said, if you don’t like us talking back to you and telling you how fucked up racism and sexism and genderism and all the other stupid shit y’all come up with to remove people’s rights…well then YOU can leave. My family’s been here for a good long time, but the reality is that the majority of us are immigrants here. Our families did not start here. We need to accept real life history and stop using this shit as an excuse.

The background of this piece? The signing of the Declaration of Independence…from the country we left. You know, when we immigrated.

Ahhh. Sigh. Just stitching his words pisses me off. I’ll be glad to be done with this. I have a month. I’ve done 10 words.

OK, so here’s one of the numbering mistakes…

That toenail. What the freak was I doing? I just don’t know.

The word of the day is frustration. Followed by breathe.

I traced for three hours last night. I’d like to think I’m more than halfway done, but I just don’t know how many more mistakes I have in this thing. I have to do part of the sky on one side, one whole figure, and the outline pieces. I’ve been tracing for 9 hours. I really should have been done by now, if it weren’t for the clusterfuck that was my brain. I’m on piece 439 of 727 (except there’s really 150 more than that)…so MAYBE there are 300 more pieces. Three hours? Or so. I want to be done today. Not sure I can pull that off, but I’ll try.

OK. Do you ever have a conversation with your brain about how you really need the best behavior from it now? Like please pay attention and function properly? Because sometimes it just wanders off and leaves you with a skeleton crew. Anyway. On to the day. Hopefully my brain will come along.

Double Numbers…

I’m trying to get my butt to the gym this morning. I need food first, and my brain is very discombobulated, and I’m on the phone with the girlchild in Boston, and I’m reading this weird book. Wait. I’m not reading the book right this minute. All these things do not stop me from going to the gym. The food is in the toaster oven and I’m wearing my gym clothes…that’s a start. I might not finish writing this before I decide to leave, but I’m starting it at least.

Focus is an issue. I really need focus. That’s why I make to-do lists, by the way, so when I’m wandering around the house, trying to figure out WTF I’m supposed to be doing, I can look at the list and go, oh hell no, I don’t wanna do that. Ha! And then I do it because it needs to get crossed off. I’m very motivated by crossing things off the list…by not having to move it to the next day. At least I know how my brain works.

Well, so someone gave me this to do the Tiny Pricks project and it’s a little stretchy, plus it’s not a solid base for stitching, and you can’t really see it unless there’s something behind it. So I had this fabric lying around (thanks to whatever person gifted me this, because I just used a chunk of it), and I pinned it down and stitched it…

Not a lot…just enough to hold it…

I ironed it after this. Now it’s ready to stitch. I don’t think I can transfer letters onto it, though. I could write on tracing paper and pin that on and stitch over it and then pull out the paper, but that sounds like a pain in the ass. Sigh. Not sure. I will need to figure that out before 1 PM today, I think. Maybe.

It was hot and humid yesterday. Not as hot and humid as it COULD be, but enough to make that big dog turn over to cool off.

Ugh. I ran a lot of errands yesterday. My doc is on medical leave and we’re still trying to find an answer to the weird pain/discomfort I get randomly, so this substitute doc, who is old and jolly and tells jokes about gall bladder stress tests with pepperoni pizzas, he ordered a bunch of tests and I get to sit around waiting on those. And then I went to JoAnns, which is hell on a good day. So they don’t carry my batting any more, which sucks, because I can’t buy it by the yard locally now. I can buy like a king-size batting and just cut into that, or I can buy a 40-yard roll and store it somewhere. Boychild wanted to know how long it would take to use that up. I usually buy 3 yards at a time, about twice a year, so 6 or 7 years. Nope. That’s silly. Annoying and silly. Then I went to Costco and you know how that goes. It’s just full of people who don’t know how to drive their carts. But I crossed off a big chunk of stuff on my to-do list, plus we have three bags of Ancient Grains now, so that’s good. I’ll deal with the batting later. It’s still on my list, but…I don’t know what to do about it. Make a decision.

I cooked. I exercised. I traced. Kitten is following me everywhere. It’s sweet.

So I was tracing and it was midnight and I’m realizing that I got to piece 323, and I’m looking for 324, and I’m realizing there’s a whole ‘nother set of pieces that’s got the same numbers as what I was just tracing. Seriously? I double numbered 280-323. There’s two pieces numbered 280…two pieces numbered 281. Ah sheet. So the second set all get ‘a’ after them. Plus this thing has 43 more pieces than I thought it did. So much for brain power, eh? Not sure how I did that. But I did.

That’s 280a you’re looking at. And 281a. 282a. Fuck.

I filled one yard of Wonder Under (which JoAnns still carries, but I do buy by the bolt, because I’ll use it much faster and it’s not the size of a fat middle-school kid) and started on a second. I’m almost halfway through. All good things. If I just traced all day instead of running around and doing things, I would be done tomorrow. (not happening)

Oh yeah, if you aren’t a patron of mine and you aren’t on Facebook, you probably didn’t see this video…I posted this publicly so people could get an example of what I do for my patrons…

You can also see it on my Patreon page here. My patrons will get the next part of this sometime this week. I started editing it last night. It’ll be done soon. I’m trying to build alternate sources of income related to my making art, so I can spend more time making art and less time copyediting etc. As I take on a 100K-word job because I need to pay back some college loans for the boy plus trim some trees and that whole thing where you don’t get paid in the summer but you still have to buy supplies for school and food and pay the damn mortgage even though there’s no paycheck coming. That shit is stressful.

Anyway. Selling stuff here and there, trying to figure out whether I can retire ever; these are all on my mind.

Working on the second yard. Up too late.

Then dogs and trash trucks and the man and cats this morning there is no way to attempt real sleep. I should remember that at midnight. Honestly, I was going to stop tracing before I figured out the double-numbering thing, and then I knew it would irritate me enough later to possibly delay my tracing again, so I just did it to get it out of the way.

I ate while writing this. So off to the gym I go. Stitching meeting this afternoon. More tracing tonight. FOCUS DAMMIT.

She’s Making Sure She Is Not Dreaming*

Hello to the first day of 55 days off school. (Ignore the 9 days you will be in planning meetings or at conferences.) The first thing I’m dealing with is my exhaustion. Seriously. It’s bad this year. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s always like this. (It is. Well, I’m always tired. And braindead. For like a week. Sometimes two.).

Yesterday, we kicked the kids out and then piled into a car for the annual end-of-year adult school party…

Yes. Happy.

I actually went to the gym last night. It was glorious. I also read 107 pages of the book that has to be done in 6 days now. If I read 100 pages a day, I will be fine. Then I fell asleep on the couch and tried to find the energy to get up. I finally did around 10:30 PM.

And did this…

New quilt sorted. I’m really really looking forward to the next step. I love picking out fabrics. I need to clean in here first. Ugh. I don’t love cleaning.

I went to bed before midnight (exhausted) and slept in an hour…then into school for the last bit of cleaning up…I moved 5 boxes of hazardous materials out, then put all that stuff on the table into my car for recycling.

I had pulled most of the unit materials down for a reboot in August. We’ve shaken things up so much that it just needs a redo. Maybe the girlchild will help. Ha!

Walking away on that checkout day always feels so good…but sad, because I don’t socialize much outside of school…

Dramatic clouds over campus! Weird June weather. Should enjoy it now before it gets hellishly hot.

I went straight to a local nursery and bought some milkweed to plant in the yard. I want to save butterflies…

Plus it’s a pretty plant.

I found out yesterday that my new quilt (that none of you have seen! I’ll have to do some posts about what I worked on. And I can process those other videos…maybe I’ll do that first for my Patreon community, since I’m waiting for music on the one I edited Wednesday night.) got into this show…

This is Bill! Bill! Bill!

My tribute to Bill Nye, who doesn’t just educate a bunch of kids about science, but goes out into the world and speaks up for those who deny climate change etc. I love that he doesn’t just sit back and cash his video checks…he uses his fame to try to change policies…I so love this video…

But you should also listen to his Cornell speech from this year (I can’t believe he came the year I wasn’t there)…sorry it’s a FB link. Can’t get to it otherwise. But I love that he’s talking about women’s rights and education as well.

And that’s me sending another Nida quilt to MAQS in Virginia, where my 2011 intro to Fox News occurred with all the crazy that went along with my first major quilt that offended someone. I did not do a nude of Bill, although maybe I will in the future. Or not.

Anyway. So that’s a wrap. 2018-2019 school year is OUT. I’ve been teaching for 16 years plus. And I just got to pee without looking at the clock. Next I’m going to eat lunch without having to rush around. I’m also going to do some budget stuff for summer, take the dogs to the vet, also do some meal planning, and maybe clean some stuff up. And I just got a message about copyediting. Probably have to consider that too. Need the money. Hopefully tonight I’ll start ironing this quilt to fabric, assuming I have something I can use for the background…it’s all good. We do appreciate our time off, that’s for sure.

*Talking Heads, And She Was

Got Love Make It Go*

I feel like I ran a marathon yesterday. I’m gonna run another one today, but it will be much shorter. Hallelujah. I also finished the book that was due to the library last week and loaded three more onto the iPad. One is due in 8 days and it has over 700 pages. Can I do that? I doubt it. I mean, sure, I’ll be on break as of tomorrow after I check out, but I have a quilt to work on and about five different things I’m doing over the weekend. Not relaxing yet. Although not grading is a blessing. I’ve been reading this teacher stuff about how to reduce my work week, and although I already do a lot of it, one of them talks about setting two LONG afternoons a week and grading, and then don’t do it the other five days. I’m not sure I can pull that off. We’ll see.

We started yesterday with bowling…

Two hundred and eighty kids, about 9 teachers, some number of chaperones, lots of pizza, some soda (for some, way too much soda), a whole lot of bowling balls and shoes, plus games in the other room. Then we came back and have to try to get kids through two periods of class…we just put videos on and bribe them with food and water and try to get them to chill out. I was trying to clean up my room. At some point, I was so tired, I slipped and realized I needed to stop climbing on counters to take stuff down. So I sat down for a while. Spaced out. Had a conversation with a kid about how I wasn’t going to talk to her about whether or not I had a boyfriend.

The awards ceremony was an hour after school got out. I managed FINALLY to type up the list of old chemicals for disposal (it’s only taken me almost 2 years to do that). So that’s 5 boxes out of my classroom. And I gave away all my water because I needed the cupboard space. Which is fine. It’s not like I’m keeping it for a reason. Awards are nice because those are the amazing kids and you get to tell their parents how amazing they are and then check out the little brothers and sisters for what’s coming next.

Today we have kids for about 2 1/2 hours or so. But we have to stay locked up in our rooms during graduation. So we just hope kids won’t show up. But they do. I have more stuff to take down and put away…so I’ll do that while they watch promotion on the screen. Ideally, I’ll have most of it put away today, so tomorrow will be quick and easy. Unless I need to meet about planning. We’ll see. I have 700 pages to read, you know (maybe I should take that with me today? Nah. I do that sometimes and I never get to just sit and read. Of course. I teach 7th graders. Who am I kidding?).

This is exactly how I felt when I got home around 5:45 PM.

I did nap for about 15 minutes. While trying to read. And then I realized I had stuff I needed to do. You know what blows up my blood sugar? Carrots. I love carrots. Fuckers. Or it’s exhaustion and stress. Hard to say. Because this morning, it was super low. Sigh.

Then I spent over an hour fussing with the next Patreon video. It’s me drawing. It’s only two pieces of video, not even fussy, but I wanted to add titles and have them disappear, so I had to learn how to pull the effect away from the video so I could edit it. So much of what’s online when you Google app-specific answers is from previous versions, so it doesn’t help. Now I want to add music! So I need that man I live with to make me some…but he works, so I don’t know when that will happen. My Patreon people may get a bonus video this month while they’re waiting for this official one.

So I didn’t start cutting stuff out until after 11 PM.

And I wanted to be done. So I stayed up too late. Of course.

As you can see, Simba was very invested in my finishing. Which I did. It took 4 1/2 hours to cut them all out. Not bad. Sorting tonight? I hope. Then clean up the studio for the next round of picking fabrics…one of my favorite parts. I’m looking forward to that bit. I’m really looking forward to 57 days off. Well. There’s 10 days I won’t have off of work. But I’m getting paid for it and it’s for a good thing, so that’s OK. I might not think that when I’m having to get up early next week, but for now, it seems OK.

*Sublime, Santeria

Whole Days Turn into Holes in My Mind*

I keep staying up late to get art done, and then in the morning, my brain is mad about me for that, like it didn’t know about it last night? I think I just need some mornings that are 8 or 9 AM and not 6 AM. I’m really not a morning person. At all. I mean, I can handle the animals because they’re not too demanding really. They just want their breakfast and pets, and I can do that without too much effort. Plus the petting makes you feel nice and loved. Which is much better than how middle-school kids (and some of their teachers) make you feel during the last week of the school year. The plus is that we’re done with the sex ed. Today is a field trip (which is tiring and exhausting and sometimes stressful) and then movies in the classroom after. Thank god that psychotic principal who wouldn’t allow any videos isn’t here any more. “EVERY MOMENT IS EDUCATIONAL!” OMG dude, then put your ass in my place today after these kids get sugared up for 4 hours and sit in a classroom with them. Seriously.

The hardest part about today is that we have an award ceremony after school, so I’ll be there until at least 5:30. I might need a nap. Thinking about bean bag chairs for my room so I can sleep in there. Like I have time for that most days. Murphy bed in the prep room!

Yesterday after school, I did all the things. It took 30 minutes to find one file from two years ago on my computer. I’m not sure why. I must have been staring at it for ages and not seeing it. I need to run an updated budget to see what I can afford for a newer car. This one is about to start being really expensive. Which is unfortunate. But whatever. It got me through the college years. I also patched one teacher-friend’s jeans and cut and sewed alternative necklines on two sweatshirts for another teacher friend. And I cooked dinner.

After eating, I was working on that cow-like thing. I think it’s an African buffalo.

I finished him, whatever he is. Next on to the house.

And then I started cutting stuff out…

It was late. I didn’t finish. At some point, I did remember that I had a really long day today that is largely caffeine free (might be a mistake). Damn bowling alley doesn’t sell tea. There’s not much left to cut out, so that’ll be tonight…and hopefully sorting it out too. Then I can iron tomorrow, if I have any brain power left.

Speaking of brain power, it’s taking like 4 brains at a time to get stuff done. Here’s science and history…

Yeah, we buy matching shirts. Although only two of us know the rules about how to stand to make your waist look better. I like that my NOPE is the bigger one. We did get approved for both proposals for paid work this summer, though, so that’s cool. I do think my team is mostly awesome. It makes it easier. This is not an easy job. It’s not even always rewarding, which is why people say we do it for not enough money…but there are good people with good intentions, and this time of year, you see pictures of former students graduating with honors and that makes it all good. We know how shitty 7th grade can be for a lot of kids.

Anyway. I should go to work. I need a lot more caffeine and a chiropractor visit, but otherwise I’ll be good. I got my peeps.

*K.Flay, Giver

As We Drift into the Zone*

It’s the weirdest thing. You turn in your last grades of the school year, and all of a sudden, you come home and you don’t have any schoolwork to do. My brain panics a little. Wait. What do I do after work? I don’t have more work? (I mean, I do, but not like grading stuff, which is a never-ending thing along with planning for the whole school year and part of the summer.) I joined this teacher group for the year to try to cut some of my work hours, to streamline the shit so I can enjoy the not-shit more, and so many teachers are already on break and wondering why they can’t get going, why they’re still sleeping in the morning, still in pajamas at 2 in the afternoon. It’s called recovery. And I’m not there yet. My classroom is still a disaster. I’m still teaching sex ed today, plus there’s a school teacher breakfast, so I need to be in early. And then I also have a field trip tomorrow and another award ceremony, and then the sweet horrible wonder of the last day of school. I’m almost done getting everything put away in the classroom. Today I’m typing up the list of hazardous stuff we need to get rid of, so hopefully it can get picked up before they put summer school in my room.

Yesterday was exhausting. This whole last month has been exhausting. Frustrating. Stupid people stuff. Dumb adult drama. Too much work. Soon. Soon it will be done.

So I went home and walked dogs…

We went to the more open space…

The plants are changing color…

It’s been dry and hot in the last week. I had to put the sprinklers back on at home.

They scraped the road…it’s a fire break, so that makes sense. Less chance of getting ticks too, unless you’re the little boy and need to pee by standing on a bush.

No sign of coyotes…although you know they were there.

I know there’s cleaning to do. I need to sew some stuff (quick) for a friend. I need to do my second Patreon video. I found the videos I already recorded and downloaded them. Then I got distracted by something else. Easy to do when the brain is still so overloaded. The men around us teachers keep asking why we’re so irritated, emotional, distant, whatever. Um. So it’s really hard to explain how much emotion and care we put into our jobs. We think about kids nonstop. Not always with irritation! With worry. With sadness. With joy. With hope. So this week, we’re kind of a mess. Come back to me in July and I might have recovered. Mostly.

But I didn’t grade after eating dinner. I worked on this!

I haven’t been working on this at all, because I’ve been doing the embroideries. Which needs to start up again, but I have to do drawings first. Maybe later this week. I have one I want to simplify already. He’s not done, by the way. He needs nostrils and eyes and something on his horns.

I also started cutting stuff out…

I actually did one whole yard and the smaller piece, so I’m more than halfway done. I might be ironing to fabric by Friday. That would be cool. This could be a really fast piece. Of course, that means I’m forgetting all the other stuff that is going to suck up my days in the next week or so. But it’s OK to forget all that right now.

*Weezer, Island in the Sun

Shed Our Skin, Let the Sun Shine In…*

Hello Monday. You woke me up several times during the night, trying to fake me out. Tellin’ me it’s morning when it’s really still the middle of the night. You wouldn’t let me sleep that last half hour at all. And now you’re all gloomy and pissing down spit (which I am totally OK with, so you didn’t get me then…). I don’t feel like I got a weekend at all. But OK. It’s that time of year. I’m about to get some time off…much-needed time. I just need to bully through.

We did go to my parents for Fathers’ Day. I told him all the things at my house that were broken, because that’s what fathers want for Fathers’ Day, right? I also made him chocolate cake. That might have been nicer.

Here’s my guy (not my dad) looking for UFOs after throwing the ball a thousand times for Calli while I was grading…

Seriously. Hours of grading this weekend. And the kids trying to turn stuff in late.

Katie was being weird.

There was a coyote out there…we saw it go by the house on the road, into the driveway and then the lower yard, and across another property. You can just about see it below. Maybe. Middle right…

Scary. We came home and I graded some more and eventually stopped and made art. It’s not that I was done with grades…they are due today, but I can’t do any more until after 2nd period…

I had about 200 pieces left to trace, so I did them. Yes, that means I stayed up too late. Why do you ask? My brain was wired by then. I was wide awake and totally stressed out. I finished tracing…only two yards and a small bit…

It took me about 5 1/2 hours to trace them all. Almost exactly 100 pieces an hour, which is my usual estimate. Tonight I’ll start cutting…because you know why? Tonight I won’t have any grading to do. Because it will be done. For the year.

Then I can start to wade through my gigantic to-do list, but also on that list is the art stuff. So that’s a good thing. Today? Today getting there will be a bit hellacious…but it’ll be good once it’s done.

*Ivy, Edge of the Ocean