‘Cause You Don’t Have to Rush*

A reminder that working all day does suck up brain time and make art difficult. That said, I do it. I used to only really make art on breaks…so Winter, Spring, and Summer. I finished about one big quilt a year and a few smaller ones in between. I didn’t do nothing during the school year…I just didn’t do a lot. It didn’t help that I had little kids and they had homework and soccer and piano lessons and a whole host of other things that I graded through and sometimes embroidered or appliqued through, but that was mostly hobby stuff…not the real artwork. Looking back, I’m not sure how I got anything done. But I did.

Yesterday? Not so much. I mean I did get some stuff done, but it was a lot of tiredness mostly. Because when I got home, I made dinner and then walked the dogs…

No nature last night…because it was late and I didn’t want to deal with coyotes. I did want to get exercise, because sitting all day in a training feels exhausting as well. Although I did find a place that makes and sells (important!) tea. Oh hallelujah. So that got me through yesterday afternoon. One more day today and I’m done. I can honestly say that National Board Certification is a lot of work…but I think I will take it on…just not this year.

On the walk, there was a kid who was walking, but when he realized that the dogs and I might be walking faster than him, he took off at a run. Like he couldn’t get passed up by the old lady. He’s way up there in the picture…you can’t see him, but he’s walking again. Lame. Nice big old field though. Everything is dead and brown already…no rain for a while.

Calli appreciated the walk but was tired and hot afterwards…

Simba also appreciated it, although he appreciated less my picking the sticks and foxtails out of his fur later. And Satchemo didn’t get to go. He does go out on a leash, but I don’t deal with that crazy. Cats on leashes. Yeah no.

I realized I wouldn’t be able to stand to iron for an hour or more…too tired. Feet hurt. Even though I sat all day…the irony! I usually stand all day. And I didn’t feel like stitching on balls. I looked at them and rejected them. So much for three a night, eh?

Oh well, so I have to do these two small art quilts by late July for an exhibit in the fall, so I’ve been carrying around these 5×6″ pieces of paper I cut for that purpose. So I drew. And then as I drew, I realized the boxes are horizontal and I had drawn the first two vertical. Duh. So I redrew one of them (and changed it), but now horizontal…

And then I decided I like the one in the top left, so I scanned it and shrunk it and printed it out again. So it will be that one and the bottom right.

I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to keep these little pieces after the show…maybe toss them up on Etsy.

So that’s what I did instead of finishing the ironing on this quilt that needs to be done. I also thought about (but did nothing about) the big drawing…mostly because I think I decided I would need to be standing to do anything about it.

I can’t decide whether to start with a drawing in the big sketchbook and then enlarge and add to it, or whether I know what the parts are already…just cut a big piece of paper (I have a HUGE roll of paper I bought a while back and it lives in my living room and no, you can’t have any…ok that sounds mean, but you know how when people find out you have something or you can do something? And then they want it or they want you to do it and you’re like wait but get your own. Do it yourself. OK, I’m obviously in a mood. Never mind. Something about a comment…”is anyone an artist?” came up when we needed to make a poster.). Cut a big piece of paper and start drawing on that. That decision (and action) was more than I could deal with last night. So I didn’t. I’ll get to everything. I hope. I committed to a piece of art that goes with a poem…picked one of my old poems, the one that sucked the least (damn, some of my old poetry was really awful). So I need to draw that too. Maybe tonight? Ugh. Maybe. I want to draw. I’m just tired.

Too much thinking. Need more art, less thinking. Perhaps more sleep too.

*Kate Nash, Navy Taxi

Need to Be Out of Here

Well. I need caffeine delivery at my training. They are nice. They feed us lunch. They bring us snacks and extension cords that don’t have a third prong hole. There’s plenty of water. We can pee whenever we want (trust me, for teachers, that’s a major issue)…but there’s no coffee or tea and the day was long. I don’t sit for that long normally either…like unless I’m on a plane. They had us stand up a few times, but I need a long walk and more caffeine. I’m even willing to bring my own milk and tea bags, if they’ll just give us hot water.

So if you’ve never heard of National Board Certification for teachers, it’s not an easy process. In fact, it’s a monstrous pain in the ass…but doable. And I think it’s useful…not only as a way to focus on how one teaches and picks resources and handles assessment and feedback and differentiation (which is hard), but also to protect teachers from crazy administrators (they’re out there, along with the crazy teachers and the crazy parents). They talk about creating teacher leaders, which kinda cracks me up as I look around the room…there’s some crazy people like me in there, and then some high achievers (English, we’re looking at you), and some who had no idea what they were in for, but it does take all kinds. The teacher leaders I’ve dealt the best with are those who work hard, think about kids and curriculum all the time, reflect all the time, and are willing to share information. Science doesn’t attract a lot of teachers who like to follow rules, I’ve found…there were only two other science teachers there, and I’m betting one doesn’t show up at all today and the other one is only going to show up because she thinks I might be able to help her. And I might.

Anyway, today will be longer. And harder. And I need to find caffeine. Or another thermos.

What else did I get done yesterday? Not much. I watched the window fall out even more…

Fixing it Thursday.

I sewed Pekinese stitch on three balls. THREE.

And then I ironed. Eventually. It was late.

The face…I ironed the teacup separately, same with the leaves…the snake, I did right on the hair. I don’t worry too much about being exactly in the right place for that. It’s not overlapping anything it needs to cover.

The camera and the eye were separate…easier to see where the pieces need to be when I do it that way…

Then onto the face. Cool. I like it.

She’s really pale…which means she’ll pop on a dark background.

I’m almost done with the ironing of the bits. I wanted to be done last night, but I got home and was tired and tried to deal with some stuff, entering a show, finding an old poem for a show…now I need to make the art to go with it, because I committed to that show. Whoops! Nah, it’s OK. I have to do two small pieces by the end of July too. I cut out some small pieces of paper to take to my training, in case I feel like drawing, but that’s hard to do with total strangers sitting next to you and watching everything you do. Plus I don’t know what to do on such small pieces. The big drawing is still sitting on the light table, waiting for me to start something…anything.

But I was in bed around midnight, because I knew I had to get up even earlier this morning…gotta fight traffic. If I get called on jury duty, it’s downtown. Talk about fighting traffic. Ugh. Not looking forward to that. I need lots of sleep over summer break…to make up for how little I sleep during the school year.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll finish ironing tonight, maybe even get it ironed to the background? I only have about 60 pieces to go, if that. And they’re big and easy…no fussy little face parts. Then I’ll have to finish quilting the other one so I can do stitch down on this. That won’t take long…but it will take SOME time. This week is so packed.

There was a video made of the Things That Matter Preview Exhibit…my quilt and I are in it…this exhibit is up at Visions Art Museum through July 8…and then the full exhibit will be in Chandler, Arizona, in November.

I don’t think I’ll be able to make that opening…pretty sure I’ll be hanging with the girlchild in Boston…but I hope I’ll see the full exhibit at some point.

OK, need to be out of here…in so many ways…

Whole Days Turn into Holes in My Mind*

Sigh. Well the universe said hi yesterday. With a rock. It’s interesting (I was gonna say funny, but it’s funny strange, not funny ha ha, so maybe it’s not funny at all)…it doesn’t matter how much I plan money out for summer break, there’s always something that throws a wrench into that plan. I guess in the scheme of things, this is not a biggie…it just had shitty timing. We were driving home from the grocery store yesterday and drove past a guy weedwacking a slope, and his machine shot a rock right through the side window of the car. Shattered it. Now thinking back, with about 12 hours of processing, I guess we should be really really glad we were almost past when that rock shot through, because it would probably have damaged a person if they’d been in the way. I still haven’t found the rock in the car. A chunk of the shattered glass below has now fallen out…on the driveway and into the car…

Just from opening and closing the door and the hood…the hood because the next thing we had to do was jumpstart the Honda, because its battery was having issues (we don’t drive it enough with the kids gone). And then I drove that down to the gas station and filled the tires, put gas in it, cleaned all the windows, because I have teacher professional development today…so I can’t get the other window fixed until probably Thursday, the guy wasn’t insured but said he’d pay for it (if he gave me a real phone number and actually has $400), and my insurance won’t cover it because I carry a high deductible to make insurance cheaper. I hope he’ll pay some of it though, because I don’t get paid in the summer….so it makes bill payment a little challenging sometimes. Especially by the end of August. I can’t order stuff for school until after the credit card cycle is done for July so I won’t see it on a bill until September, when I have a paycheck.

Anyway. I’m trying to find somewhere cheaper than the first two I looked at, but they want a 4-hour window of time to come fix it, and I can’t just leave a car with a hole in the window in a parking lot…so I guess it’ll be driving the Honda for a few days. I just tried the Honda again this morning to make sure it would start and it did. I guess that’s the universe too…

So that kind of blew my afternoon up a bit, trying to get information from insurance and glass places on a Sunday afternoon, with both neighbors throwing parties…we had kid noise on one side and bad cigars on the other. Fun stuff.

I did eventually iron…I was going to draw, but the afternoon kind of clusterfucked my head. So ironing was easier…bird and heart. I’m not sure how the bird will play on the background…I might need to add something behind it…we’ll see. I can’t remember if I was holding fabrics up to the background or not. I think it’ll be OK. The background is pretty dark.

Then a phone and the pills in the stomach…plus all the rib details…

With dinner, there was some more stitching on balls…

Three of them. My average no matter what? I thought these would be faster, but apparently not.

Then back to the ironing…lungs and heart…fussy little beasts.

And the left arm, down to meet the squeegee.

Then I rolled all of that up so I could do the top section…the right arm.

Next is the head and then all the stuff in the sky above. I think I have about 170 pieces left to iron together, and then obviously I need to put it on the background. I might get to all that tonight. Since I can’t fix the window.

Kitten told me it was time to go to bed (it was after midnight…she was right…)

But that mockingbird. Pillow over the head. Gotta pack up for this meeting…call my car guy and see if he has a recommendation for glass replacement. Text the gardener. Meditate.

*K.Flay, Giver

I Like a Plan

A Sunday without planning for school. Again. So delightful. No school worries. Although I’m in teacher professional development for the next three days, so that’s not really no school. But they will feed me. And hopefully it will be informational and useful and not just annoying overachievers. We’ll see. I think I use up all my people skills (what few I have) on my students all year. I need to rebuild those reserves. Maybe hanging out with teachers I don’t know for three days is not the way to do that…but who knows? Maybe I’ll be totally reflective and motivated.

Right now, I think I need a nap. The mockingbird is back. He’s been all over the neighborhood, but last night was in the tree outside my bedroom again. It makes me crazy. I slept with the pillow over my head. Drowning out noise with fabric and feathers. Ironic that. Bird drowning out bird. Very philosophical this morning.

I have this drawing I’m contemplating. I started it years ago, 2012? And it grew, but I’m not sure it grew logically, and it means something different to me now. I was going to just go with it and maybe add to the bottom, but now that doesn’t make sense to me. I thought about just using half of it, but every time I look at it, I see pieces I like and pieces I don’t like, that don’t go with the story as it is now. So I think I’m going to redraw it but move pieces around…make it less horizontal too while I’m at it.

It’s going to be my epic summer quilt. But first I have to tear this apart and redo the whole thing. No Biggie! It’s taken me a week of contemplating it and deadlines to finally make the decision. So redraw it I will.

But let’s go back…it’s been a busy two days. I had a voucher at the local ceramic painting place that was expiring, so me and a million moms and kids headed to the same place to use them up. No one would sit at my table…which was fine by me…but I got side-eyed by about a million people for painting nudes I guess…

These are before firing, of course…who knows what they will look like fired.

Well, we all will next week when I pick them up. I make about one mug a year…I tend to break them. Overuse them. All that.

I also made a uterus bowl…like you do…

With a lot of symbols on the outside.

And then I made a sign for Saturday’s march to keep families together. But that was once I came home and made dinner…I didn’t do that at the ceramics place.

San Diego had already scheduled a march for the 23rd and then the national one came through for the 30th. I already have stuff going on the 30th, so I’m just doing the one march…hope the second one pulls enough people to make a difference too.

I saw this cool sculpture walking to my meeting spot…

And then lots of speeches (too many speeches, honestly) and a short march to the federal building…

It’s frustrating to live in a time when we have to yell and stomp so much for our government to hear us…and they still blow us off. Sigh.

When I got back, my brother was texting me pictures of the boychild with his cousins…going tree climbing.

My kid is the biggest…so far. The others are getting taller every time I see them.

Mine is the long one in the middle…

Looks like fun. I wanna do that. I kinda miss those summers when I would drag the kids up to Seattle to hang out for a week.

Anyway, boychild will be leaving Monday apparently to head south. He should be here in a week or so. So that means cleaning his room. It’s not too bad. I piled the worst of it in the girlchild’s room last year when my guy moved in here and I hadn’t finished cleaning up stuff in my bedroom. Sometimes I just don’t know what to do with stuff. I’m not sure if I need it or not and I hate throwing things away. I threw a lot away last summer with the garage clean out. I think I reached a limit at some point.

Anyway, that’s next week. And sometime in July, when I panic about the girlchild coming home.

Meanwhile, my office is always a disaster…but especially after I’ve picked all the fabrics and haven’t cleaned up yet…I leave everything out in case I lose a piece (I found a lost one last night)…there’s a cat in this photo…

There it is. Kitten on Mt. Batting.

She spends a lot of time there. It’s safe from the other kitty and it’s comfortable and in the room where mom spends a lot of time.

So at some point yesterday I felt awake enough to iron for a while, up into the thighs. The sun comes in here in the afternoon and makes it hard to see stuff.

And then I took a break for a while and went to dinner and then came back and worked on the lights and the squeegee and the uterus…not all of that is ironed down though, because stuff is supposed to go behind the top part of the pelvic girdle…

Kitten came down to visit (and watch Supernatural apparently)…she sat on the chair that is hidden there for a while, until the other cat came in and got territorial. Sigh. At this point, I had cleaned about half the papers that were piled on my desk…I still have the other side and then the desk to the left. School sucks up so much time that there are balls that just drop…and cleaning the paper crap up is part of that. So I lose shows sometimes in the paper piles. I forget about them. I try to be logical, but I’m not always good at it. I want to try a different organization plan in here, but I need a new stacking file thing…the two I have don’t fit into each other unfortunately. So that’s a trip somewhere. Organization has been my issue my entire life. I like it when it happens, but I keep changing how I do stuff to try to get MORE organized, and then I wait to see what sticks. I’ve reorganized in my office/studio about 3000 times. I have a plan for hopefully next summer (need money) to do a remodel of the whole room…but I’m not there yet.

Anyway, I was ironing the gingko leaves separately, because they had a lot of tiny pieces and I needed to see the pattern before I ironed them onto the belly fabric.

There they are…

And then I put them on the belly fabric, but folded the leaf itself down until the stuff above was done…first a stomach, liver, and intestines…

And then the ribs and abs…then I could iron the gingkos all the way down. I still need to add a bunch of detail bits in there, but it was just after midnight at that point. I took a break in the middle because the library emailed me that my book was due soon, so I finished it…plus my feet hurt from standing, so I gave them a break.

I’m officially more than halfway done now…lots of complicated stuff still to be ironed. You can see all the bottom bits are rolled up at the bottom. I decided to just keep going instead of ironing the parts separately and trying to fit them together at the end. Especially with the hand that will come down and hold the squeegee…I wanted to make sure everything meets up.

Oh yeah, I finished all the red balls on this quilt and started doing the embellishment of the fuschia balls, which are only a slightly different color than the blush pink balls (there’s one of those on the top for comparison). The stitch around the fuschia balls is fairly easy, but requires going around twice. I only did one…I took time Friday night to finish the 4 red ones that were left and start the fuschia, which is why I got no artmaking done. Plus tired.

I made up for it by doing no ball stitching last night…but I figure if I finish embellishing 3 balls a night on average and there are 80 (79) left to go, then that’s 26 nights. So sometime in July. Plus I should be quilting the other wool quilt, but I have to finish the cotton one that’s under the machine, and ain’t none of that happening in the next three days. So there.

So there’s finishing ironing, maybe quilting, getting prepped for tomorrow’s teacher PD, groceries, maybe a dog walk…if it cools down enough. Maybe some cleaning or organization. We’ll see. Yardwork that’s never done. EVER. One week of summer break gone. I hate that feeling. Then I have to persuade myself that there’s a ton left, everything will be fine, don’t panic. DRAWING. I need to draw. That’s a plan…I like having a plan…

That’s When the Energy Comes*

OK. The animals are starting to get a clue that mom doesn’t budge in the morning until later. That mornings are longer than they used to be. That’s a good sign, because it’s the first summer in a long time that someone else gets up early (and wakes them all up) and I still need to be asleep. It seems fair…I’m going to sleep like way later (still) and my body doesn’t actually have to be up at 6:30 in the morning. Those who work with me know that I am not a morning person. I can do it, but don’t talk to me. I don’t wanna talk. Chat. Trade niceties. I want silence until I’m ready. I will however totally have a conversation with you at midnight about the motivations of the characters in The Handmaid’s Tale. You don’t want that? OK. Well then. That’s what my late-night texting friends are for.

Now my brain takes a lot longer to get functional. I’m really trying to hit relaxation mode…the place you have to be in order to recover from the school year so you can teach the next one. I met with my co-teacher yesterday to try to plan next year (another mess of reordering units and tightening some and adding to others…this is year 3 of new standards…maybe we’ll finally have it?). I now have 17.000 more things to think about. Whoops. I think we’re just going to plan the first unit and then be done with it. Hopefully I won’t have jury duty some Monday or Friday in early July and we’ll be able to pull that off. First we need a place with free wifi, beverage service, A/C, and bigger tables than a Starbucks. Preferably at the midpoint between where we each live. I’m sure there’s a solution…I just don’t know what it is yet.

Meanwhile, I didn’t have a lot planned yesterday. I could have done some things, but apparently school planning sucks your brain out. So I did a lot of sitting on the couch, binge-watching Doc Martin (which now I have to find elsewhere, because Netflix is not getting the current seasons…although some part of me is significantly annoyed by the series and doesn’t know if I want to watch it anyway.), and trying to just keep my hands busy. So more of sewing these bits down…

Because it’s totally brainless and yet I’m achieving something. I’ve thought about drawing like every day for the last 5 days, and I can’t get there. I’m aiming for it. Maybe today? Just sit on the deck with a beverage of choice and some music and just draw. What will be my epic quilt this summer? What deadlines am I actually going to take on? When will I get my act together? Why don’t I just accept that the first week of summer is always a lost one? Anyway, almost all the things are sewn down on that month. I think I have to sew blocks together for the next month…and it’s easier to embellish on smaller pieces than big ones…so I’ll have to think that through.

Meanwhile, so I have to try a new diabetes medication. I’ve been diabetic for 16 years now and my control is iffy at the moment. I need more exercise. I need more time to exercise. And I suspect menopause (which is still not totally a thing here, unfortunately) is messing with blood sugar etc. So I agreed to try the new medication, even after last year’s clusterfuck. She suggested one and I immediately Googled it and found a similar side effect to last year’s, so we rejected that one. This one does not have that side effect, but it does mean injections. Sigh. This disease sucks. So those were delivered yesterday. I have to do everything mail order that’s a long-term prescription, so I get this huge heavy box…

This is so annoying though…I really am trying to reduce my footprint. I’ve been cutting back on using plastic, recycling more, trying to keep plastics out of the house. Now I have a huge styrofoam box coming every three months that is almost filled with ice packs. Plastic ice packs. Which apparently I can’t return to them to be reused.

So they just get thrown out? There has to be a better way. This is such a waste. Plus the injection equipment, single-use. So annoying. So don’t get sick! There’s so much waste in medical stuff…and yeah, I know it’s better than passing on disease and infection, but it’s still hard to stomach.

This was on the way back to my car yesterday. Impressive…

Next Saturday, the 30th, my cohabitant here will be playing at Nicky Rottens with his cover band, the Radio Thieves. Their lead singer likes to make funky retro record covers…

I’ll be there with my sketchbook and a table…maybe I’ll be relaxed by then.

I’m still embellishing balls. I did four last night…stepping up the pace!

And then I finished cutting all these out, which means I can start ironing things together tonight. That’s the fun part…when the image starts to show up.

It took a little over 10 hours to cut them all out. It’ll probably take 15 or so to iron it together…

This is Calli…she wants her morning meds. She thinks it’s a treat, but it’s really just arthritis stuff. She’s a good girl.

This one, Simba, wants to lie around in the sun. I should probably walk them sometime today.

After I get my hairs cut. Might be drastic, might not. You never know. I kinda want to color it too. Maybe this is just a ruse to get out of jury duty (is purple hair a good excuse?)…or maybe I’m just tired of having the same haircut for a million years.

One of the things I track is how many hours I spend each month (week?) making art…the stuff that I track (which doesn’t include drawing or any of the hobby embroidery). In the last month, I’ve only done 36 hours of artmaking…less than 10 hours a week (that’s grading and being sick for you)…the month before, which included teaching fulltime, I managed 75 hours (almost 19 hours a week, on top of working 50 hours or more a week). Kind of crazy that. With no actual day job at the moment, I should be able to do 50 hours a week of artwork. Hear that, brain? I know. I’m giving you a break right now. You need it.

*Sarah McLachlan, Building a Mystery

Everything’s Gonna Be Fine One Day*

Yesterday was a bit of a disaster. Two different things needed rescheduling. Dear insurance companies…your year plus one day policies are screwing me over this year with July being a no-fly zone. Seriously. At some point, I’ll just have to skip a year on everything so I can restart at the end of June and use the whole summer again. I’m not sure why a week’s leeway on each side couldn’t be a thing. Sure, after 52 years, I might have used one extra exam in there, but that seems reasonable. Much more reasonable than having to mess with avoiding an entire month. Anyway. I did get some stuff done, like a lot of sweeping of leaves was accomplished. I’m using all of it as compost, so it got placed. I have some I still need to collect. That’s later today…after the three (hopefully successful) appointments today. Although one will probably require another appointment. And we already know how that might go…frustrating!

I’m still waking up with these incredibly bad headaches. I need a solution…I don’t know if it’s still the vaccine or not. The tail end of the rash is still here.

I’m going to have to finish this later…need to take dogs to the vet. Fun stuff.

All right, two dogs through the vet experience…not so fun…but now onto the rest of the day. I went to school yesterday to try to rescue the food and milk out of the fridge…but they’d already locked the prep room so even I can’t get in. These sunflowers are courtesy of our tiny school garden.

I’m going back today to see if the custodial supervisor can open the prep room up. I really don’t want to come back after 8 weeks to see what might be growing in there.

I’ve started the embellishment on the berries…there are 16 of each color, 6 different colors. This is the most complicated (read time-consuming, because there’s nothing complicated about backstitch and French knots) of the embellishments…so figure 34 French knots times 16, plus backstitch around each. I only got two done last night after eating, so it’ll be a while.

I’m also trying to stitch down a few things each day to get Folk Tails near finished…I got all the tree parts sewn down last night except for the hole in the trunk.

The September blocks are the three with bits pinned on. I’m not sure what month the blank one is…must be October, I think. Plus obviously the two on the left are from earlier in the year.

This rat was in the entryway…made both dogs bark last night. Crappy photo courtesy of stained glass…

I also spent about 2 hours cutting stuff out last night…a significant amount is done…

But as you can see by the top box, there’s still a shitload to go. I won’t be done tonight I don’t think.

A teacher friend said she thought she had PTSD from the school year. We always do. It takes about a week to two weeks, plus a significant amount of sitting around and not doing much (oh dear, I’m not there yet…I went through my school notebook and recycled stuff, then printed all the stuff for next week’s teacher thing, plus went through all the paper on the table and tried to organize it) before our brains stop trying to solve teacher problems. Some years are harder than others. This one, I just feel spacey as hell…can’t concentrate. I guess that’s pretty normal.

I also tried some threads out on a wool quilt sandwich…and picked one thread type I think will work. The local sewing machine store carries it, so I’m going over there today (after I go to school) to see if I can find a better match in thread or a variety or something. The real quilt is a variety of blues, not beiges…that will be the bird one, which is at least a month from being finished.

Anyway. So school, thread store, foot doctor…I think I need to leave in about 5 minutes…and anytime the headache wants to wander off and bug someone else, that would be awesome…

*Seether, Fine Again

I’ve Gotta Get Out of Here*

Seems like we can’t go two months without our current government giving us yet another reason to march so they actually see and hear our disapproval. I’m signed up for next Saturday’s Families Belong Together March here in San Diego. I don’t get it. I’ve been watching a discussion between high school friends on Facebook, with both Democrats and Republicans speaking out against separating kids from their families, with a few (straight up must be paranoid crazy) holdouts claiming this is what will keep them safe. Oh dear. Safe from? Shootings by white American men? Because trust me, I’m way more paranoid about white American men who own guns and can’t process their feelings than I am about refugee and immigrant families. The crazy that comes out of our government…these are human rights issues now, and we usually prefer to be on the side of protecting those.

At least we used to be. I don’t think we know what we are any more.

I need to go find Sessions’ phone number and make a call.

So it’s vacation. I see my teacher friends posting about turning alarm clocks off. I have built-in alarm clocks. They are small and furry and fucking intolerant of sleeping in. I think I got 6 hours…just like normal! Part of that was not feeling well last night and then not being able to fall asleep. Yes, I’m still grinding my teeth. I have too much on the to-do list already. July might actually be easier with no ability to plan anything. Maybe. Who knows. Right now, I’m still sleep-deprived, feel like I’m coming down with a cold, still have the leftover shingles vaccine rash, and don’t feel like thinking too hard today.

You know, there’s maybe 11 or 12 Sundays a year that I don’t have to worry about planning for the week, that I don’t have to write the parent email, that I don’t have to write warmups for the week and post them on Google Classroom. I regularly work 50-60 hours a week during the school year, sometimes more than that. I might get home at 4 (it’s actually pretty rare that it happens), but then I work at home…just an hour or two a night, that’s all…grading stuff or prepping for a future lesson. I don’t take sick days…it’s too hard to prep for them. I don’t schedule doctors’ appointments for a school day…I can’t just leave early without prepping for it. It’s more work than it’s worth. If I start to feel sick during the day, I work through it and come home and collapse. I don’t get to go out for lunch during the school year. If I forget food, I have a stash of popcorn and peanuts to get me through. Summer is our break from all that.

I worked Saturday and Sunday on stuff for next year, cleaning up calendars and folders for the school year that starts in August. Wednesday, I’ll be meeting to start putting the beginning of the school year together…or maybe the end, since we wanted to backwards plan the whole year.

My brain is not on vacation yet. It’s looking out at the pool, realizing not only do I need to trim and sweep around it, but I need to empty the filter and move all the composting piles. And I need to ship a box to Massachusetts and another to Seattle. Plus two appointments today. Plus figure out what to do about the car window that stopped working, go to school and rescue the food and milk in the fridge, come back and do more yardwork or housework or any of the other 17 things on the list. Find the deed to the house. Pack up a quilt. See that’s why the teeth are still grinding.

Saturday night movie watching…sleepy puppy, Where’s Waldo socks, and the last of those 96 damn Palestrina knot stems…

Yeah. I finished them. Finally.

Calli sleeps so cute.

I started trimming finally…

I didn’t get much done on Saturday night…maybe an hour or so…

I found this applique again. It’s ancient. It deserves to be finished. I pinned some stuff to it. Haven’t sewn anything on this in a million years. I used to think I could hand applique art quilts.

Takes way too long.

Interesting formation…

We owed the dogs a hike. It didn’t happen on Saturday because I was still too exhausted. I love these little tiny flowers…

Didn’t see any coyotes. No people either, which was fine. It was nice and cool and windy…

Very anti-summer.

I also love this bush, even though it’s invasive and nonnative.

Sunday night…I started the berry embellishment. There are six colors of berries and each one gets its own embellishment. I started with the red ones. 96 divided by 6 is 16. So I will do 16 like this. Approximately.

I started with the most complicated one. I’m also trying to do a little bit on the wool sewing for Folk Tails each night. Last night, I finished a tree and pinned a bunch more stuff on the September blocks…not that I photographed that. I figure if I just do one or two things a night, it will get done faster. I also borrowed some heavier sewing threads from my mom to test out…I have one Spargo quilt that is finished and has been sandwiched for quilting for like two years. I could probably quilt it fairly quickly, if I had the right thread. So I’m going to try these out and see if they give me the look I want. Then order the correct colors (or find them locally…they might carry them at those shops with all the machines that I never visit) and finish the damn thing. What a concept! I have another couple of quilts that are sandwiched that deserve finishing.

Then I cut more stuff out, for over two hours this time. Could not get the brain to shut up and chill out.

So it’s a bigger pile that’s done…but still a bunch left to do. Realistically probably won’t get back to trimming until after dinner tonight. I will try to do some, but there’s so much else to do. It’s cooler today than it’s supposed to be later this week, so I’d be smart to do a chunk of yardwork today.

OK. Well. So I need breakfast and a shower. And to get the stuff packed up to ship. Boychild is still in Seattle…he was going to leave today, but a request from his cousin to hang out until she gets back from the East Coast persuaded him to stay put for another week. So I have another week before I need to clear his bed. No problem. Part of that project includes finding 6 parts of a quilt that need to ship to Washington state. So I don’t have to do that until later this week. Some part of me just wants to go sit on a beach somewhere so I don’t have to look around here and see the to-do list in my face. Sigh. Vacation.

Probably I’ve used this post title before…

*Big Data, Dangerous

Throw Down Your Umbilical Noose*

School’s officially out and I’m a little dazed and confused. The vaccine is also giving me really bad headaches, and the one this morning is not small or kind. It’s the Hulk with Thor’s hammer. It’s not helping.

It always takes me a while to sort of realize that it’s vacation and start relaxing. Looking at next week, there’s not a lot of relaxation that will be going on, but I will try. It will be easier when the vaccine stops fucking with me. The rash was bigger yesterday, so I took the prescribed Benadryl and basically passed out about 45 minutes later. Lost a couple hours there. I took another one at bedtime. This morning, the rash is still there, but splotchy and not as warm and tingly as before. I guess that’s a good thing, but I can’t really stay asleep all day. I feel drugged. Ugh. Maybe sleeping all day would be a good thing.

I was at school longer than I thought I’d be yesterday, and then I left food and milk in the fridge (ah, dumbassery), so I’ll need to go back on Monday and persuade someone to let me into the prep room that we just locked down for the summer so no innocent child can go in there and swig hydrochloric acid. Because I don’t want to come back to gross in the fridge.

When I came back home, even though I left her a treat ball (see in the top right?), Calli stress-ate the Tivo manual. Oh well…

She wasn’t in trouble for long…she’s a big dummy sometimes.

Then I blinked and looked over there and this one was snoring away. He’s the loudest of the bunch sometimes.

These hummingbird feathers were stuck to one of the feeders we have outside. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hummingbird feather.

You can’t tell here, but that green is iridescent, just like the birds.

Last night, I finally finished ironing all of the fabrics for the newest quilt…here’s all 120 of them…finally in color order, the way I like them.

It’s a full box. Lots of cutting in my future.

And at some point, my brain will catch up and respond to school being out.

Hopefully.

*Nirvana, Heart-Shaped Box

Start Me Off and Watch Me Go*

Hey. So it’s not REALLY summer vacation for a teacher until you check out of your classroom, which means you turned in or checked out all your technology, your keys, and your bloodborne-pathogen and first-aid kits, you’ve put your classroom in the order they want it to be in (depends on which administrator checks you out as to how much they micromanage the situation…that alone is a test of how many issues you might have with admin), you’ve counted all the books you don’t use any more because the standards changed and they’re totally useless but you still have to have one for every kid when the state comes calling to check you aren’t gypping parents out of a curriculum that is now at least 10 years old and completely out of date but your district has not approved moving forward with a current and useful adoption because they want us all to write our own curriculum, which some of us already have but we haven’t been paid for it assholes so there. Sigh. I don’t even know if that’s a sentence. Oh wait. It’s not. Oh well. I can’t remember…something about the official paper they have to sign that allows you to leave.

First we have a team meeting. I’m going to go buy a brain at the grocery store on the way to school so I have one for the meeting. Then I’m going to let it talk, because it’s just better that way.

Yesterday, we managed to get a lot done, despite the kids in our rooms. Then we had a lunch/drink thing at a local restaurant. Then I came home and read for a while and started messing with drawings. Because there’s a bunch of things that need to be done over the summer. And with my to-do list growing daily (add fix leaky shower valves and driver car window to the list of things I either need to do myself or find a professional to do), I need to get started on the art stuff. I’m known for being kinda spacey and unfocused the first week (sometimes two) after school ends for the summer…so don’t expect much. But I pulled the list of deadlines for the next 6 months, shows I want to enter, and started to prioritize. I also pulled the pile of already enlarged drawings off the piano (of course) and went through them. There were a bunch of smaller ones I really want to do, but do they meet any of those show deadlines? Of course not. Well…two of them might. This is a huge drawing that was supposed to be bigger…I thought about doing it as a triptych…but now I’m thinking I need to go the other direction. I like to do a really large quilt each summer. I use the big shows to give me an excuse to do it usually. I didn’t last summer, I don’t think…just did some other stuff. So this would be kind of an epic quilt. Because big…and…well…I’m thinking about what it says and why.

So I’m letting it percolate…it’s currently 67″ wide and about 28″ high. I would add to the height.

I just saw that my weird succulent is blooming again. It’s such a funky way to grow…but beautiful.

So my fever and fatigue from the shingles vaccine finally disappeared. I should tell you this is the new one, Shingrix. So you’re supposed to have a second shot 2-6 months later, and we were going to do it before school started again, but I emailed her last night because I got a rash from it Wednesday night…it’s warm and uncomfortable and my arm is painful like it’s badly bruised. Fun stuff.

So now we’re pushing the second shot out to 6 months and if it gets worse, I’m going to urgent care. So let’s hope it doesn’t. She suggested Benadryl, but that will make me fall asleep, so if I’m going to do that, it’s going to have to be later.

So after all that and actually eating dinner with vegetables! Because if there’s veggies, I need to cook them…I went in and ironed for 2 hours. Evidence that the fever and fatigue are gone: I can stand for 2 hours. Here’s the two hearts that are in the quilt…

I really try to place the pieces to use the smallest amount of fabric.

So in the middle of ironing, I hear Kitten scuffling in the towels down by the window (they cover the backs of my fabric boxes so there’s no light damage)…I don’t know if you can see what she’s excited about…

Look closely…I’ve seen one of these before. I don’t know if they come this color, because most of the ones I see are much darker…but I’ve seen a light-colored one like this before.

Albino gecko? Or just pale? Here’s no flash…he really was mostly white and pale beige though…

I rescued one from the pool a few years back.

Anyway. I ironed for two hours…here’s the pile to be cut out…

It’s a big pile.

Here’s what’s left…not much, but that was at midnight, and I still had to get up this morning. There’s a bird in there and a bunch of gingko leaves and some lungs. I think that’s it though…although I don’t know what that pile on the top left is…oh there’s a teacup too.

There’s gotta be a teacup. What am I drinking right now? Yeah. Here’s hoping I don’t have to get up really early during the summer (Jury Duty, I’m talking to you…because having to be downtown, parked, and in the courtroom dressed appropriately [there’s rules] by some early morning time is just cruel)…deep breaths.

And here’s all the fabrics I’ve used so far…lots! And totally out of color order at the moment.

I’m hoping to come home midday and finish the ironing…then deal with some of the stuff on the to-do list and start cutting pieces out. Ironing the whole thing together soon…next week? In between doctors and vet and everything else that ended up shoved into next week. Sigh. Still got at least three more things to shove somewhere.

Off to school though for the last time for hopefully 7 weeks or more…I need to come back in to put everything back the way we need it before school starts, but I don’t know when we’ll be allowed back in. Sigh. Not thinking about that right now.

*Caesars, Jerk It Out

Pleasantly Caving In*

I woke up without a fever. That’s good. Knock on wood. I thought I was better yesterday afternoon, after walking over 5 miles in a bowling alley with my co-teachers, trying to keep kids from getting into trouble. I even went and bought dog food, but by the time I got home, that was it…I collapsed on the couch and slept for an hour. Didn’t even bring the dog food up from the car until later. This thing is kicking my butt. Sure they want an “increased immune response”. OK you got that. But I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to be THIS increased.

Today is the last day of school. Well, for the kids. We have to show up tomorrow…we have a meeting with our team and then we have to clean up our classrooms for checkout. For science, we have to clean up enough that the summer school teachers can’t destroy our stuff, which means finding cabinet space for everything and locking it all up, and in one case, using bike locks because the school locks don’t work. Plus changing the locks on the prep room so they can’t go in there. Sigh. This stuff is so annoying.

Then I had to shove every possible appointment into next week…every day is full of waiting rooms and paying money out. No paycheck in July, so I have to be careful. Normally I would spread it out more, but that’s not an option. The following week is 3 days of school stuff…it is stuff I chose to do, but a huge part of why I’m choosing it is that fact that I can’t get a raise for the next four years otherwise, due to how our district deals with years from out of district. My salary gets frozen essentially. So cost of living goes up every year no matter what, yeah? Sigh. So my choices are looking into National Board Certification and getting them to pay for it (easier than you might think, considering their thoughts on the frozen salary) or getting a PhD (not happening).

I’m hoping to get some rest and relaxation at some point. But my co-teacher and I will need some time to plan the beginning of the school year. We’ve done none of it. Just a lack of time and pure exhaustion, I think, have gotten in the way. I can’t even think straight about school right now. The team meeting tomorrow? I really wanted it to be closer to the beginning of school, when I might have brain power. But no. This job just sucks it out of you. We usually work 6 days a week, too many 10- and 12-hour days. We’re constantly mentally engaged with what next, reflection on the last thing, worry about this kid or that, figuring out how to do something, or just the nuts and bolts of grading things and presenting things. It’s one thing to come home every night and not have to work at all, versus having to work at home most days. It’s been so long since I just sat and drew.

So after an hour of complete physical collapse last night, I read a lot. I laid on the couch. I read and then I ate a bit and then I read some more. Pretty much all on the couch. I did some stitching for a little while…on the couch…

I have those three sets of stems to do and then one whole side left.

While I was reading, Simba decided I needed him lying on me to feel better. It worries the animals when I sleep during the day. They aren’t sure why, but they want to be involved.

I had these two earlier, but mostly because they both wanted pets…and the little one isn’t sure why the big one is getting petted when he’s not.

I can’t keep all of you happy. Only one hand is free for pets.

Anyway. I would love to come home tonight, still fever-free, feeling like I can get shit done. That would be lovely. This crap where I collapse and sleep for hours and feel like heated-up and boiling crap when I’m not sleeping? Yeah that can be done please. This is day 3 of vaccine reaction…I’m done now. Just move on. Go bug some other innocent bystander. I guess I have to hope that the second shot doesn’t do as much damage. Let’s hope I can finish putting everything away today and not kill my homeroom kids (the worst of them will not be here…but there are a couple more who are potentially an issue). Let’s hope the fever is gone for real. I’d be OK if the arm pain stopped too…

Because I have art to do.

*Queens of the Stone Age, No One Knows