Remember Your Why!

Heyo. It’s halfway through…well, there’s one more prep day and then kids. That’s the hard part, although the first few days aren’t too bad…just a lot of talking. I could do without that. My voice could also do without it. I’ve actually enjoyed the last day and a bit in my classroom, because for the first year in a long time, I’m not panicking. I’m not unpacking everything out of a locked cabinet because they used my room over the summer, and I don’t have a lot of newbies to deal with, so I’m doing things that have waited for years. I moved some stuff in my room to be more logical. I put together a shelf thing I brought from home two years ago. I actually looked at the bulletin boards I never finished for 8th grade (I only looked at them; it’s OK). It’s been pretty chill. Hopefully that bodes well for the new year. Today I have a meeting and I need to copy stuff (the copier is not so chill, but that is always the case), but otherwise, I’m going to pilates. Yesterday I went to ceramics. Almost like a normal person. They let us sign up for afterschool duty for the first time ever, and I got an easy one. I never get an easy one…I’m always walking a long way because my classroom is closest to the front of the school, so I get the crappy duties, while other people waft through the easy ones for years. I get the same ones over and over again. But this year, I picked the easy one. I chose. I know, it’s silly, but let someone else do the light or the crosswalk or the bike rack. It’s time. I’m sure next year, I’ll get assigned something else, but the new principal wants to do things this way and I’m going with the flow. There are some things where I’m not going with the flow, in typical Kathy fashion. But whatever. I do my job and I do it pretty well most of the time. And when I don’t, it’s because I’m tired and burnt out. So yeah. Aiming away from that feeling this year.

Artwise, I haven’t had a ton of time each evening. Things like cooking and dishes…not so fun, but have to be done, ya know? And less time at home affects that. Always, it’s a bit of a shock to go back to the long days, although we are still in that sweet spot when I can come home and NOT work (well, I did on Monday). I can sit and read or stitch a little. Or go to the ceramics studio. I’m still breaking things on the torso. So frustrated with it at the moment, but I’ll get there. I’m building a crazy head for it though.

I’m gonna need room for the tree on the head though; it won’t fit on my shelf. Problematic. I’ll figure it out.

Monday’s staff meeting was long and mostly boring. Some new info, but they read the slides to us. And the ones they didn’t read to us were small and hard to read. But they won’t give us the slides until the end of the meeting, because they don’t want us on our computers. But there are still people on their computers. So I drew for the first hour or so.

I can’t just sit in meetings. My brain doesn’t work that way. It needs entertainment. This was good for that. The next hour or so, I read my book on my phone. I did listen. I heard most of the things. I just wasn’t particularly engaged. A lot of it is stuff I already know. It’s hard, because we have so many new teachers who know nothing but I don’t need to hear all that again, but we also have a new principal and some fairly new assistant principals who don’t know or remember how things work here. Like there’s a reason we don’t let kids in the hallway behind our classrooms. We used to and it was a behavior disaster. So now we have to deal with that again. Whatever. I won’t be responsible for the hallway; I already told them why. They can deal with it.

Certain parts of the quiltmaking process look the same every night. I mean, I can tell the difference, but when all I cut out are tiny pieces, the piles don’t change much in an hour. I think I’m in the 900s mostly? Going backwards…so not even halfway done. So here’s Monday night, right before I started cutting out the swamp trees.

And here’s last night, as I start cutting out the people in the swamp.

Still some swampy bits in the top bin, but there’s progress. I can see it. I’ll be here for a while though.

I’ve been stitching this stuff down all summer…in bits and pieces.

Most of the wool pieces are on…I think there’s a few more, but mostly I’m appliqueing cotton now. Which is maybe faster, IDK. And after they’re stitched down, they all need embroidery. I’ll be here for a long while.

We are back to one juvenile owl, I think. I could have sworn I heard a second, but I’m not seeing it, so I feel sorry for this lonely. It’s very loud.

That’s the moon, believe it or not.

It’s started flying around and squawking from other trees, so we are a few days to weeks out from it leaving. It’s weird how loud they are as babies and how mostly fucking silent they are as adults. They do squawk as adults, but it’s different and mostly threat related. And it’s usually just once, not all night. I apologize to the neighbors. A little.

OK, I have a morning meeting to deal with team stuff, plus meet a new teacher for some of our special needs kids. I get to ask why I have paraprofessional support in one class with only one kid who needs it when I have another class with six of them and no support (that actually goes over the 20% mark, so they will have to support in there…they just don’t know it yet). The email thread back and forth yesterday about one of the kids with the admin in charge of scheduling them ended badly. I’m just not going to sit and not say anything when what they’re doing is not best for the kids. Or me, for that matter, or honestly, the poor para who is sitting there with only one kid to help…which is fine if the kid needs that. I’m just curious if there was thought behind it, because last year, there wasn’t.

Then pilates after school…my body will appreciate that, even if my blood sugar doesn’t necessarily go along with it. Transitioning to school and stress and a different schedule has been interesting. I did very well yesterday. Let’s not talk about the other three days around it. It’s fun. My doc wants me to check in with a nurse once a month about the diabetes, and I’m like sure, here’s my first question about crashing sugar in the middle of the night (again). They have not called yet. Probably trying to decide which nurse will have to deal with me. I’m having positive results…I’m hoping to keep that going as school really goes. September is the best test of it…it’s usually absolute daily chaos. Then after that, I get to read and stitch and cut things out. Bliss. Remember your why! (teacher in joke)

Remember Fabric

Summer Break is officially over; ironically, summer in Southern California is just beginning (it was like 97 degrees yesterday). We’ve got at least two months of ugh weather, depending on how bad the apparently nonexistent climate change wants to make it. At least I’ll be in air conditioning during the day, right? With 140 kids. It’s fine. I’m totally not ready and had to be up at an ungodly hour this morning…it was early enough that the baby barn owl hadn’t gone to sleep yet.

It was light out by the time I got out of the shower. I’m not feeling positive about today. I know some people totally get into the first day back, they’re all hyped up. I’m an introvert. A million people in the mall (yes, we are meeting in a mall on the first day) is not my idea of fun. Honestly, talking to people at 7:30 in the morning is not my idea of fun. They give us popcorn and soda (can’t have those) and then the new guy posted all the treats he has for us, and I can’t have any of it…it’s either chocolate or sugar or both (I’m allergic to chocolate, if you didn’t know, and diabetic). So whatever. I already have the nutrition menu pulled up for our lunch options, so I know the carb issues. How does a salad have so many carbs in it? Sigh. And that doesn’t even count the dressing. So I bring my stitching with me for the morning part, and I have a book on my phone, snacks in my bag, ready to walk if the blood sugar alarm goes off. Wearing my new school year shirt (we had to go in early and pick one up). I’ll be OK next week when the kids come. Just not a fan of the adulting part (the part with the hundreds of adults). And I get to be one of the first people to talk at our meeting this afternoon. I actually don’t care about that part. It works OK after so many years of doing it. Get up in front of a hundred people and talk? Whoopdidoo. Got it.

Here’s baby owl and a parent…

I’ve had a hard time being in the studio the last few days. Kitten is supposed to be in here. When she was an actual kitten, she was in here…

That’s my old office chair. I’m three chairs past that one now, I think. They’re always covered in cat fur though. Already just hanging out with me. Sigh. Poor baby. Miss her. Maybe I’m the poor baby in this equation.

So I spent a bunch of time futzing with Spargo stuff in the living room yesterday instead. I still have a million things to stitch onto the borders of Homegrown

And then all the embroidery. I then checked on some of the other in-progress Spargos and cut out pieces for another month of the mushroom one (just finished a mushroom book…seemed appropriate), reminded myself I was close to done on one of the forest blocks, and remembered that the critter blocks are next on the embroidery list when I finish the Rooted trees…think I’m on June or July with that one, so another three? I think. I appreciate the brainlessness of following someone else’s pattern sometimes.

I did iron in here: two hours yesterday and two and a half the day before. I know it’s hard for you to see the difference between the days, but I can. Here’s Wednesday night’s progress…

Made it through all the swamp trees and maybe a little past that…looks like there’s two rockets in there.

Then yesterday…

I did all the space stuff…well the ‘sky’ stuff, which is the big blue and purple pieces you see, but not the planets and stars and sun…that’s all that’s left. About 100 pieces. Complicated because I try to decide what each planet looks like in terms of color, but not super hard like all the people pieces. I should be able to finish tonight and then start cutting them out. A good part of the process for the start of the school year…sitting on the couch and bingewatching a show the Man is calling “Call of the Midwife in India”, which it kind of is: The Good Karma Hospital. Light fare, but about helping people, certainly, which is what I need right now.

I was reading a book by T. Kingfisher, one of her shorter soldier series based on old stories (I liked the second better than the first, which was based on House of Usher)…and she wrote…

That’s definitely from the second one. They are definitely dark. And in the acknowledgements, even better…

I’m amused by that. The first is What Moves the Dead; the second book, which both of these quotes are from, is What Feasts at Night. The third comes out this fall.

When it’s hot, cats flop.

Nova makes biscuits. It’s adorable. Bowie is less adorable, but I still like him.

OK, damn, I have to leave in 15 minutes. Ugh. I did make it to ceramics on Wednesday, but it was packed, so instead of trying to get the big torso out, I worked on the head.

This thing will never be done.

And as we go back into the school year, one run by AI apparently (even in my district, they are pushing it)…see in June, when school gets out, what happens to the graph?

I am so amused. And not. Ah well.

OK. Back to the crowd in my head and my personal space. Remember to keep fabric at the forefront. Remember Kitten. Finish ironing tonight. All good.

Still Down With It

OK. So I’ve been sick with COVID since Sunday night, apparently (sorry to my plane mates…I didn’t know). Yeah, I should have been masked, although I’m not sure where the girlchild and I both got sick. Hoping today is fever free. I am better…the first few days were very low energy and sleepy. I’m definitely increasing in energy, but was still running fevers yesterday on and off. I’ve canceled/rescheduled the dentist, exercise, lunch, not sure what else. I was planning on getting a booster shot this week, before going back to school. Oh well. Interestingly, the last time I tested positive, I had almost no symptoms. Not so much this time. Lots of sleeping and reading going on, and when I felt more energetic, I started appliqueing wool bits down to the borders of Sue Spargo’s Homegrown.

It’s mindboggling how long this takes.

Once I had tested for COVID, I moved into the girlchild’s room and my office, trying to limit the other people in the house from exposure. Hoping I wasn’t too late. It didn’t even cross my mind when I first started feeling sick. Silly really. The Man starts his new job on Monday and we’re hoping he doesn’t come down with it.

I’ve stitched down all the stuff on the top and bottom borders; I’m doing the side borders now.

Five flowers a side. Big ones. Time-consuming. Not hard though, which is good, because my brain is mostly nonfunctional. Amusingly, I’m also doing my district/state-mandated online trainings today, with about half my brain. Seriously, I’ve experienced over 20 years of integrated pest management and bloodborne pathogen trainings. The assessments are often stupid, making you memorize things that are not useful, like how big an opening a mouse needs to get in a building (all of them were small; you literally had to memorize which small thing they had mentioned in 28 minutes). I’m not saying we don’t need to know these things…it’s just a lot of minutiae.

Back to the stitching…there’s about 85 pieces that need to be appliqued down on the two side borders, and I probably have spent 8 hours so far. Not all of it this week…

Last night, I had Simba on the bed (past his bedtime) and Bowie coming to visit.

I kicked Bowie out later because he keeps climbing on shit and knocking things over.

Sleepy boy.

So I still have a ton of those to stitch down if I need more down time, which I probably do. I’d like to be energetic and well enough to stand in here (I’m in the office right now) and iron things to fabric…the thing I started before I went to San Francisco. I’d also like to have enough energy to go to ceramics, because it’s been a while and I’m worried about my piece. Not much I can do about it at the moment. I’ve had to move a bunch of stuff to next week that was supposed to happen this week, so it’s all of a sudden more full than I like. It is what it is, I guess. It’s now officially August and I have to think about school. Total mindset flip.

Meanwhile, the cats are all exhausted.

And hot…

Kind of with them.

There’s this…

No hubs but…and this is a joke, but I’d rather spend time making art, thanks.

OK, back to mandated reporter videos. I would like to thank them for making up a new complicated story for each year. Just watching this set of videos is traumatic. And having reported more than once, it’s too bad that humans can’t be better across the board. I have one anonymous card that I’ve kept for three years now. I do often wonder about that child and how they’re doing (multiple reports, police were involved, they sent the kid home with parents). Ah yes. And watching this training while thinking about the current government and the Epstein files? WTF. There’s a gap there that cannot be explained.

Sigh. Hopefully no fever today so I can be a little more active…starting tomorrow, I can be out of the house if I have no fever, although I need to track down a mask. Pretty sure there’s one in a purse or bag somewhere, or maybe in the car. I have a million at school…ironically. My gym bag? I’m glad I had enough books and brainless stitching lying around to entertain me, and furry beasts to provide sighs, boofs, and love. And someone to go out and buy more meds and food. Not that food is very exciting at the moment. I’m doing a lot of revising what I eat to get blood sugar to behave (hard when you’re sick). The CGM has been really helpful and I’m glad I finally agreed to it. Insurance is covering it completely, and if I keep up how I’ve been doing, my A1C will be coming down in the next three months. All good. Art. Health. Balance.

Kick Them Out…

Summer is the time for all the doctor stuff. I am squeezing in three appointments this week and two next week. Pro: I got the tooth pain hopefully taken care of this morning with a root canale (been dealing with that on and off for a year) and got rid of an early morning ultrasound (fasting before school; torture). I’m doing the best I can with this aging body. I have a team of specialists trying to help. I just need one to drop off meals! Is that a thing? OK, I know people can cook for me but it’s completely outside of my means and not required. I’m just tired of trying new things and having them taste blech or react badly with my digestive system or just make me feel crappy. Working on it.

I might be done dye painting for this time around. I need to type up a document for myself so the next time I do it, everything I need to know will be in one place. I painted two more at home here, but won’t have time to do any more, and I’m pretty sure the dyes are wearing out. We’ll see when I wash these two out…here’s the first one…

I think a lot of the vibrancy will wash out, but it will still be cool. I set up a table in the driveway in the shade, no wind, very nice.

That said, my table is ancient, water-damaged, and heavy as hell. I should replace it with one of those fold-up plastic tables, yeah? First need to find somewhere to dispose of this beast, which is probably 25+ years old.

Then I spent 2 hours painting this one…

Crazy. We’ll see what it looks like. It’s the biggest one I’ve done.

Then I sorted the first 100 pieces, after cleaning up the studio and moving Kitten’s stuff around.

She’s almost 17…and much slower.

Bowie doesn’t leave her alone, so I moved her food and litter tray into here, the smallest room in the house (besides the bathrooms), where I have the most shit, but I can close the door against the teenager who wants to bug her. I can’t get to a chunk of my fabric at the moment unless I move that really old chair with her on it. Sigh. It’s fine. I’m working around her. She’s peacefully sleeping most of the time.

A lot of the Wonder Under was releasing this time, so I have this lovely selection of web that belongs to a piece somewhere.

I started ironing last night…

Dirt and rocks and a little bit of grass under the gravestones.

I also managed to make my Quilt National artist talk video (only 4 tries to get it under time without my staring off into space because I’ve forgotten the plot multiple times). Today, I need to clean up the dye stuff, wash out those two, and pack for leaving tomorrow midday. San Francisco is like 20 degrees cooler than here, so packing is intriguing. Plus two days in hot. It’ll be fine. I’m actually really looking forward to all the art stuff. And the kid. She’s cool, mostly fun to hang with. She probably says the same about me.

I finished one tree at the residency (during Zooms) and started this one. I’ve worked on it a little this week.

I think there are only three left. This is my post-dinner, still watching our show stitching, assuming I don’t need to jump on the stationary bike because my blood sugar is blowing up. Really fun times.

This concerns me. As I age and my partner and parents age…

I’m not worried about 99.9% of the undocumented, except making sure they have food and healthcare and their kids are in school and OK. I realize that makes me woke or liberal or an activist. OK then. I am all those things, because I care about people I don’t even know. And I know that ICE is trying to deport people that we need here. And they’re not qualified, most of them, to do the job they’re doing, as evidenced (evidence y’all!) by their trying to deport children and US citizens and people with green cards who have committed no crimes. Who pay taxes. Dumbassery. But cancer…damn, not paying attention to that? That’s gonna fuck all of us up. Even MAGA. Even Republicans. Maybe especially them because they’re so busy saying it’s the undocumented immigrants causing all their problems that they don’t have time to go to the doctor for those weird symptoms that are actually cancer.

My dad and I had a conversation about socialism the other day. Because what we do here in California is not socialism…it’s capitalism. It’s just capitalism with some empathy for the not-rich, not-white, not-man. Some. Not enough. Ask the mentally ill. Because they don’t get what they need.

Anyway. Sigh. Politics. Always. It’s hard to get away from it. OK. Wash out dye paintings. Clean up dyes. Eat lunch (mouth is still numb; they said an hour, ha! Not even). Talk to diabetes dietician on video call. Go to pilates. Pack. Probably need to do laundry again to do that. Then iron some more. Maybe buy some snacks for travel. Maybe not. When is TSA gonna get rid of the no-liquids over 3 ounces rule? OK great, I can wear my summer flipflops through TSA again instead of going barefoot (that’s a plus), but I want to bring my tea and water without having to search out a drinking fountain and wait in line in a super-expensive drinks line. Maybe that will make me stop wanting the Epstein files released (it won’t…but they can try). By the way, in case it was ever unclear, I think everyone on the Epstein list should be removed from government. EVERYONE. Don’t care how important they are, don’t care what their politics are. Kick them out.

A Thought

Sure I’m never gonna have just one thought. My brain works way too fast in a branching psychosis that may be helpful in some situations, but sometimes ties neurons up in knots and creates flailingness. I’ve been working on art stuff most days for about 4-6 hours on and off, depending on the state of my brain. I should be able to work for 12 hours, right? I do know that pre-COVID, I would spend 6-8 hours on a break day or a Saturday, just working on one piece…but that’s a known process, it’s ironing all the pieces to fabric, it’s cutting things out…the idea already exists, the process is something I’ve done for years. This? Is not. This is fucking around with new ways of making. New ways of thinking and working. Somewhat exhausting. GOOD, but definitely the neurons needs breaks.

Here’s my thought. And it’s one I’ve had before but it is just being reinforced by this week away. I need to do this full time. Well…I first was going to type “more”… but full time is the reality. Nope, the reality is that I can’t afford full time right now. I’m watching a webinar right now where I know these artists are full time…and I don’t know HOW (retired? Partner supports? Independently wealthy?). I am none of those things. I am aiming for the first. The other two are out of reach. That said, I can do more. I think. I say that and then school punches me in the face. Imma punch back this year.

SO. I just posted all these pictures in order of when they were taken using the ancient iPad, and that’s not how I usually write. I usually do it more thematically, but I don’t want to waste two hours like I did Wednesday. So it’s gonna be that way.

The dye paintings have to sit MOIST and DAMP for 24 hours, so I make piles of them in cut-up and taped plastic bags with the dates/times written on them that I painted them, and then I wash them out as I go, more than 24 hours later. I knew that peach would get less orange, but I love that the blue stayed so blue. I love the top one…the bottom one I also love, but it will need some handwork, I think.

I’m trying things out here. On the one hand, I like the thin line I get with the tiny applicator, but it’s hard to draw with on fabric. The thicker ones are easier, but bleed more. But I also want to mess with just color and dye. So this is all trying stuff out.

Scrub jay. It’s loud and visits every evening. Last night, they brought a friend.

I forgot to take a picture of this piece before I covered it; the thin lines dry out really fast and it was in the afternoon, so it was warm and windy and I was afraid it would dry out too much and not set. And I haven’t washed it out yet…so I don’t know whether it set or not. That’s on my list for this afternoon.

Here’s the other line one I did that WAS washed out, although it needs more washout with Synthrapol…there’s a shadow as I let it dry. Obviously, these need color. Or maybe not. I think they do.

I have fabric paints and pencils and pens and a whole host of shit I brought and am not going to get to try. I overplanned. Wait, I always do that. It’s not a surprise. The Man is coming to visit today through tomorrow, and I’m going to send some stuff home with him, because I’m either done with it (threadpainting) or I’m not going to get to it (ceramics, probably paints & pens & pencils…still thinking about that). Once he leaves, I don’t have much time left anyway…just Saturday afternoon and evening. Sunday is mostly packing and cleaning.

This one…I love this one. I outlined with a thin brush, not the applicator. Still a pain, but less than the applicator. Then painted. The color, the orange, a lot will wash out. but I still love this.

Once you mix the dye paste, it’s hard to know how long it will last. One book says 5 days; the other says “keep track as you work so you know”. Um. Well. This was yesterday morning, and I mixed all the dye paste on Monday (took forever because of the wind). I think today is day 5. I still have a bunch of paste left, though, so I might just keep going and assume they’ll get more pastel with time? It really is just a matter of how much of it washes out. I have a shit ton more fabric. And a lot less wind at home. And a few days off before school starts. Actually, there are a million doc appointments in three days, and then I leave for San Francisco and the girlchild and more looking at art. I love this for me!

I read Christopher Moore’s new book, Anima Rising. It was great. Lots of art and cultural and literary references.

I love Sedna.

This is either the same alligator lizard that was on the door or another one (I think it’s a bigger one, honestly). NATURE!

Luckily, this one was outside. With the snake and the squirrel and the fox and the ravens and the owl. But NOT the spiders. I’ve killed 5 so far, 4 of them giant ugly grass spiders who survive multiple shoe whacks, and one bit me while I was asleep (not the grass spider; something smaller and bitier)…on my NECK. Freaked out by that. And yet, I continue to walk around barefoot. I did leave out the spider-killing shoe though…as a warning?

I was on two Zooms yesterday, one where an artist explained how she bought a church and remodeled it to be living space and studio (not happening here in San Diego…Susan Lenz, in case you’re interested) and one was my local SAQA meeting, with a presentation by another artist (Angela Jean). Both were interesting, but I couldn’t focus on anything else, so I embroidered the…is this June?…block of Sue Spargo’s Rooted. Finished this one…

And started July. Here’s the setup where I’m working on the female figure. I thought I might work on that, but apparently the brain can’t listen with intent AND make art with intent.

I need to edit some of these photos, but I might have to go back to the iPad for that, OR leave them be. Frustrating process. Not sure why I can’t do it on the app here.

Here are these two washed out. I love the top one. The brown washed out but still looks great. I can quilt this and it’s done. The bottom one…well, I loved it when I painted it, but I used the thicker bottle applicators and it bled like crazy…which doesn’t work for this. I’ll have to decide whether to fix it somehow? Or chalk it up to practice and make a cat blanket.

This one I think will wash out well…the browns have a lot more colors in them that will show up after the washout. I had a plan, but then accidentally dropped dye in some places I didn’t originally have dye…

A learning experience. I did this one last night. It was dry and the wind kept picking up randomly. There were storm clouds floating around, but nothing stuck…until the 5 seconds of rain at midnight or so.

I just take lots of sky pictures…weird for someone who isn’t really a landscape artist. The sky is way more complicated in person.

In the afternoon and evening, I worked on this. OMG this is so time consuming. I guess I didn’t come up here to find faster ways to make art. This is with 9 hours in.

I get one section pinned and then stitch it all down (by hand…that may be part of the issue, but hand stitching doesn’t make things as flat as machine, and that’s what I want). I had to add another section to the bottom to accommodate the feet. I still need to work on the lower legs and then the arms, and goodness, she might need a head. So it’s not getting done here. But I like it. It needs a lot more. Also, I so did not need to bring two giant boxes of fabric for this. But I ran out of time to edit fabrics.

So yesterday was business day 6 of not hearing back on the boob biopsy. I called in the morning and they said all the things, I found out that my doc IS on vacation this week (she’s allowed), and I asked for the sub doc to call back or something. The nice man (who is a man and maybe doesn’t understand boob anxiety) said “oh I’ll send a message and they’ll answer in another 3-5 business days”. OMFG. I explained that I’d already waited that long. I have an appointment with my doc next Tuesday anyway, but I really don’t want to wait another however many business days to hear. Did I hear yesterday? Nope. Nothing. Kept my phone on all day, nothing but fire warnings. SIGH FUCKING SIGH. So this morning, I wake up, slowly, and I check my email while trying to get functional enough to do another dye painting, and Sharp sent an email that new test results were released, check the app, and my heart races until I get the app opened…and there’s nothing. No new results. No letter. No message. Nothing. Fuckers.

So I painted this.

The wind picked up, but I think I got my point across. It’s not even the correct boob, but I don’t care. And then I sat through an art webinar that told me I needed to quit my job and make art full time. Ha! It didn’t actually SAY that; I just thought it afterwards.

OK. So I’m still boob anxious. Betting that doesn’t change today. I need a walk, I think. I need to wash out like three things? I think. Maybe two. I have a meet and greet tonight with the other people here. Need to bring an example of my work. Ha! I need to clean up and organize a bit so the Man has a place to sit. I need to work on the lower legs of that other piece. Oh shit, I drew last night too…apparently that picture didn’t come over. Let me see if I can do it on the phone (how many devices do I need to post one thing???).

Answer: three devices, because two of them suck. Well, they all suck in some way, or I wouldn’t need more than one. Original post started on ancient iPad, added most photos there. Saved draft. Typed most of words on laptop. I am old school. I am also old. It’s just easier to type with a real keyboard than hunt and peck. Edited photos and added the drawing photo on the phone…too small for typing.

Walk, then eat lunch, read book, then clean up. Wait. Check Find My app to see if the Man left already. Nope, he’s in the bedroom (scary, huh? He’s actually probably in the bathroom.). So I have at least 90 minutes before he gets here. Then wash out any dye painting that’s more than 24 hours out. Then do other things. Art things. Maybe talk to a human today. I haven’t in a few days. Except on Zoom and the phone with Sharp. OK. Do the things.

On Time Is What I Say It Is…

Oh yeah. Again. Lost days. I can’t remember WHY yesterday was a lost day, but it was. It wasn’t. I did things. I might not remember what I did, but I did things.

The current quilt: I’m trimming Wonder Under…

It’s remarkably slow.

I’ve made it halfway as of last night…

And it’s taken almost 5 hours. There’s two more yards to cut out. Just a lot of smaller complicated pieces. I won’t finish before I go on my residency. I’ll probably take the remainder with me, just as brainless filler. Along with other things. All the things.

I met with friends on Thursday and did some stitching on this…

I worked on it last night too, and it’s almost done. I’m taking it with me next week too. Like I said; I’m taking everything. Just moving the whole stash up to the cottage and then bringing it all back. Not really. But it kinda feels that way.

I thought I had finished all this until I was packing it up and realized the gun on the tank is not glazed.

In reality, I’m gone for a week and we’ll see where it’s at when I get back. This hand has broken off more times than I can say…it’s slightly lower than the board and the board doesn’t fully support it.

Stupidity on my part. Hopefully it will survive the next week. I am taking some clay with me…one thing that’s formed that I started carving into like three months ago. Another slab of clay to make something else to carve. I need to make the wet box today for that.

The girlchild is here for a long weekend. She cooked us dinner last night, but there is always time for Simba.

He likes it.

I screenshot this because I like it…

I actually have been trying not to use the word beautiful to describe people or smiles or eyes or hair or whatever. I’m not perfect at that though. But yeah, beautiful is not something I’ve ever been…and I’m OK with that. Or pretty honestly. And right now, I have another hole in my boob and an allergic rash from the adhesive patch and a scratch from Kitten. Oh, and acne at age 58! Ah well. I forgot to wash my face one night. So there we are.

Today. Today is packing and organizing and trying to be ready to leave tomorrow. Plus an art opening down in San Ysidro. And getting the office ready so Kitten can be in here without my carrying her out to the litter tray and food 5 times a day (yes, that is what I am doing at the moment.). Hopefully next week, I’ll be able to get lots of fun things done. And maybe blog on time (it’s my schedule, so it’s on time is what I say it is.). And maybe just be an artist for a week. I food prepped yesterday to help with that. I don’t need to think about what food; I just need food. Yeah. Looking forward to this, even though I am also anxious about it. That’s how the brain works. Art brain is racing forwards and the rest of my brain is trying to make sure there’s enough fabric. And it’s scoured. Crazy, right?

Refill the Cup

I really hate my ironing board. I would like a new one, one that doesn’t have sharp metal feet that grab my toes. One that is stable and doesn’t threaten to fall over. That said, when I’ve tried to find ironing boards in the past, they’re even more tippy and unstable than this one…this one was my grandmother’s, I think. It’s ancient. I put a heavy board on top that I use for ironing quilts together, because I need a larger space. At the moment, I have to move it around a lot because I’ve been trying to clean up in here and it’s problematic…I can’t put fabric on one shelf where it used to be, because one of two cats keeps peeing on it. I’m pretty sure it’s the old lady, but it might be the teenaged boy…they regularly are vying over the space. Probably the old lady. I even had piled some towels up that I was using to cover the fabric bins there, and then she peed on those. So. Yeah. I’m having to store bins on the floor and this room is not very big anyway…with two desks, a table, three bookshelves, a computer, a sewing machine, and all my fabric (well, not really ALL my fabric…that’s funny), it’s just crowded. The ironing board is always open and I move it around for what/where I need to use it. And every time I search for a new one, I get sidetracked by options and reviews and can’t make a decision. Because there isn’t an ironing board store I can go to and look at them (OMG I am old), so I have to do it all online, and the thought of trying to return an ironing board makes me break out in hives. So there’s that. But we might be there.

So the stupid stuff, eh? Overwhelming. But I could focus on the big fat ugly bill or Alligator Alcatraz and why we think it’s OK to treat HUMANS that way or the campers missing in Texas after the floods (look! God took the white Christian girls! See, it’s not any better, is it? It doesn’t matter what the kids look like or where they come from…it’s not OK.). Sigh. Certainly didn’t do much celebrating yesterday. My country is broken. OK, it always was broken. Now it’s just more in your face about it. So I’m trying to live my tiny life in the middle of all that. Plus this week, the Man will hear about a job (yes please) and I have a biopsy (ugh) and the girlchild is coming to visit (yay) and I need to pack for my residency (yikes). It’s not the chillest week in the world. My response to that is to read more books. And try to clean and fix more things. With the help of the Ex, the sprinklers are now back up and running. I tried but there needed to be more things fixed than the one I did (it was a valve). The two sprinklers that really weren’t working were totally corroded inside (ah, hard water)…so replacing those (and blowing all the dirt through the system) helped immensely.

This was a big achievement. I’ve had this on my list for months. I replaced one thing and then nothing worked. Sigh. I tried to patch the gap on the deck too, but I couldn’t get the caulk to move. Might just be too old? Frustrating though. So I think I’m going to Home Depot later. Fun times. I ran some errands on Thursday (waited until rush hour like an idiot) and ran into a former student, a not-pleasant reminder of him. I had totally blocked him and his entitlement and his annoying parents (mom mostly) from my mind, and now I need to reblock him. It’s OK. He’s a kid. Even as an adult, I won’t need to deal with him…and maybe he’ll get a clue by then. He’s smart, just spoiled.

So artwise, I’ve been sort of efficient. I’ve made it to the ceramics studio more times than usual, which is good.

A bunch of stuff fell/broke (I think it gets bumped on the shelf) and I had to fix a lot, but I got the greens done. Went back yesterday and reattached and reglazed stuff that broke, but that damn hand broke off again.

I’m close though. Almost there. Honestly, it’s glazed except for the flagpole and reglazing all the broken stuff.

I just need to finish it and get it in the kiln. Like this week. Hopefully.

I pinbasted my Sue Spargo Folk Tails, which has been done since 2020? I think? Seriously.

Mostly I hadn’t done it yet because I wanted to finish the bird one first (the bigger one) before stashing a bunch of safety pins in something that would just sit in a pile for a while. It’s a challenge to quilt this…mostly because I need to go AROUND everything. Not hard, just a pain. So it’s next on my list to finish this summer. But before I do that, I’m trying to piece together the improv piece I did on Zoom with Irene Roderick…

It’s all these random shapes that need to fit together, and then I need to make it into a rectangle shape. So I worked on that yesterday. I have it all in three pieces at the moment, with a freaking Y seam (not the first). Almost there. This is so not my style, and I realized at Quilt National that all the Irene people’s quilts look similar, so I’m deciding how to make it mine. I’m trying to finish this so I can take the design board on my residency next week. Whatever gets it done, right? I could probably finish putting the top together today.

Then I cut out all the wool/cotton bits for the side borders of Homegrown (another Spargo…yeah, I enjoy making them), pinned them on, and am slowly stitching them all down. I won’t get this one done in 2025. Bet.

The embroidery will take forever and then I’ll put it in a pile for a year or two before deciding to quilt it. Let’s be real. It’s not about the finished product; it’s totally about the making.

In art quilt news, I’m still tracing Wonder Under…

The dirt was a lot of big pieces, and then I had a bunch of little pieces that fit in between all those big pieces.

I tried a bund of people and then started tracing gravestones. Right when those dumbasses passed a bill kicking a ton of real live people off Medicare. Including one I live with…yeah, it won’t take effect until after the November elections, and hopefully he’ll have a job by then, but there’s a lot of people who can’t work or can’t find work. So we aren’t taking care of people any more unless they’re so rich they don’t really need to worry about it.

Last night, I made it into the low 600s…of 1366.

Not even halfway. I was hoping to be done with tracing today, but I would have had to be way more focused than I have been for that to happen. So maybe that’s the other thing I’m doing today. I’m still only on the second yard of Wonder Under…lots of small pieces to drive me nuts later.

My little quilt made it to my SIL for her birthday.

I love the location.

I lost the dog in the ferns…he likes to pee in there.

Really, this is yet another part of the yard I need to control. Ha! This yard is beyond my ability. I’d need a gardener and even then…

I found these guys (screamed a little because a bunch were on my shirt) while trimming shit.

They become some kind of beetle. But for now, they are in the greenery trash can.

I saw this…and yes, I feel like I need that but also, no I’m not doing that.

I’m putting it here for when I’m really old and retired and maybe bored (will I ever be bored?). That dissociative state is looking nice.

Although honestly, making art helps with that. And it’s too hot for sweatpants, but the other night, I found myself tracing Wonder Under with shorts and a tank top on, but also fuzzy socks, because my feet were cold. Love old body. It’s so inconsistent.

This.

So frustrating. Incredibly.

Simba after three hours of fireworks on THURSDAY night (not even the 4th, y’all). He barked the entire time. And I was tracing stuff, so I wasn’t making him feel safe.

Last night, he was better…only a little. Mostly because the boychild was back. For how long? We never know. His sister is coming to visit, so if previous years are anything to go by, he’ll be sent to some fire this week.

This is amazing. This is Liberty Bleeds by Niki McQueen.

I wish I had enough wall space for her work (it’s available as posters to benefit the ACLU)…it reminds me of my own stuff, the cutting open part.

I think Nova is the big softie that both Luna and Bowie turn to for love and safety.

Luna is so paranoid. And it’s hot, so it’s funny when they curl up together, because I’m like, don’t fucking touch me, it’s hot. And yet there’s always a cat or a dog (or both) next to me.

This is always true.

So yeah. I think I already decided I’m piecing things and tracing things today. The Man has a show tonight downtown, so I’m probably riding the trolley down and then getting a ride back. Their regular lead singer has ‘quit’ (we hope not permanently), so they’re borrowing a singer from another band. Should be interesting. Luckily they are the opening band, so it’s not a midnight thing. I’m too old for that stuff? That’s a lie; I happily stay up past midnight doing art things. I just don’t like mornings. My goal for the week? Be chill. Stay chill. Make the things. Find the supplies for next week. So excited for next week. Meal planning now. And making sure I have materials. I don’t want to get up there and realize I need one chemical I left at home. Inevitably I will forget something though. Truth. 33 days until school. I can’t find a countdown timer that works with the iphone widget or whatever they’re calling it now. Frustrating. That and the ironing board problem are an issue for another day though. Right now, I need to eat, shower, and do some stuff that refills the cup. Or something. Finds the spoons.

It Seems Like Enough…

I know, I know, I’m writing super late. I worked this morning. And afternoon. And I didn’t want to get up super early, so I got the photos resized for the post and that was it. And then I did more work when I got home. So here I am, remembering I was supposed to write today. Which pretty much sums up Summer Break for a teacher. Yes, I did teacher stuff today. My co-teacher and I usually try to plan during the summer, just to get a handle on things we want to change for next year. Sometimes we get paid, but we aren’t this year. I think. Who knows? New principal. No one has a clue what’s going on. We’re backwards planning to make sure we have time to teach natural selection and evolution, the last unit, and then revising the first two units…three units. Well, we’re not gonna get all that done in two 4-hour sessions, for sure. But we’ll have a pretty good start.

So the weekend…I worked on the drawing…finishing up the bottom part on Friday night.

Mostly anyway. Then Saturday evening, I put some planets in the sky…

Bowie was absolutely no help.

Last night, I finished up some stuff around the planets and called it done, although I may change my mind about that tonight.

And then I started numbering, but I didn’t finish.

I knew I had to get up in the morning, so staying up until 2 AM writing numbers would be a bad plan, right? Don’t ask Summer Brain…they’re like all in with Art Brain and don’t give a shit that I can’t sleep in. So I was going to finish numbering this afternoon and totally that hasn’t happened. But maybe after I finish this.

I also finished the binding and sleeves on this during my local SAQA Zoom meeting…

Shitty picture, I know. Ah well. Need a place to hang it up now.

On Saturday, I also finished a present for my SIL…in October or so last year, to test the new Wonder Under, I made a small flying heart. She saw in online and asked for it for Christmas, but like finished, you know. A thing. So I said yes and then promptly lost it. I didn’t really lose it. I hung it up in my studio/office and then hung a drawing up in front of it, so I couldn’t see it and forgot it was there. For like three months. I found it in January when I took the drawing down…not right away though…it took me a few weeks before I saw it. Then I figured, oh, I’ll give it to her for her July birthday, so instead of making something out of it like right then (like a sane person), I procrastinated until Saturday and then finished it.

I mailed it today. It’ll be late. Ah well.

Saturday was also the wedding of a coworker to one of my former students. Weird, huh? Here’s all the teachers…

The bride is younger than my daughter. I’m laughing because Stace is grabbing my ass. She’s smirking in the back. We did not all plan to wear blue and green. Seriously.

And here’s one of my former 7th graders, now a nice young man who cried during the ceremony, making him one of my favorite guys forever.

Seriously…raise your boys to be able to cry at emotional events.

I did some ceramics stuff on Friday…more painting.

I keep breaking things off dammit. So I’m trying to get it all underglazed before more breaks. Not sure when I’m going in again. Tomorrow? Hopefully…if I’m not as braindead as I was today after lesson planning for four hours.

That’s too true.

I love this.

There’s so much negative shit out there right now. I love the little bits of fuck off I see happening. Because I just got my measles booster because of that idiot.

OK, normally this is where I’d say what I’m doing for the rest of the day, but it’s 6 PM and I just fed the dog. I might go do some yardwork because it’s cooled off a little. I did some digging (against the gophers) yesterday. Need more gravel to fix what they did. Sigh. Should probably water first. I’ll be numbering shit tonight and then hopefully starting to trace. It would be nice if I was done with tracing and trimming by Monday, and then ironed to fabric by the time I leave for my residency. Taking stuff to trim is always a good thing. I can’t think beyond that. I want to finish my book? Probably not happening tonight. But soon. Oh I entered a residency for next summer…hopeful?! I think that’s it. It seems like enough, doesn’t it?

A Lot of Pieces

Ooof. Well I am starting to function. Maybe. I was at ceramics yesterday and it was busy and I had forgotten my headphones, so I couldn’t completely dissociate, plus whenever there are people there, they always want to talk about my piece, which is taking FOREVER. I’m getting closer to done with the upper torso piece though. Lots of underglazing, because everything has to be painted three times for good coverage. It takes forever. And I’m not that great a painter, so I have to clean up a lot of the fussy little stuff.

Yesterday, I started with all the things that I thought would be white, moved into gray, then blue, then had to touch up red because of all that. Today, I think I’ll finish those two guys on the right arm and maybe move onto green? We’ll see.

And I broke the hand off again, then two fingers. It’s just very fragile at the moment.

I’ve been drawing every night, trying to get this thing to where I want it. Which I don’t know where that is, so that’s part of the problem. I’ve been penciling stuff in most of the time, because of overlaps and not being sure how things will fit together.

That flag has some tiny pieces in it. There’s some inking or embroidery that’s going to need to happen.

Definitely put the ICE agents in a swamp of their own making. Added some stuff up above.

The sky and the dirt are my current hold ups.

Although less dirt now.

Getting closer. So many pieces though. It wouldn’t be a summer quilt if it didn’t have a lot of pieces.

I’m still cleaning the office, sorting through stuff, trying to finish things. I’m trying to get all the flowers appliqued onto the outer borders…

Not even halfway. But closer than I was. It’s just time-consuming, but not in a bad way. I pretty much only work on it when I’m on a Zoom call or when I’m done with dinner and watching one show with the Man. Hence the slow. I am close to needing to trace and cut out the two side borders worth of flowers. That’s progress.

Bowie keeps coming in the office to harass the old lady, but also to sit in the window.

He’s alternately a sweetheart and a teenaged terror.

There is a constant fight for the space on my left thigh…

It’s popular. Nova left (fear!) and Simba took over.

OK. Today is Friday. I will be back at ceramics this afternoon. I finally found the busy time schedule (there’s times when the lower cost level of member can come in…and it’s more busy because of that), so I’ll be avoiding those days/times if I can. I’m hoping to get this glazing done in the next week so I can get it fired. I might need to build it a base though, and then that would have to dry too. Hmmm. Should have asked for more clay yesterday. Oh well. I’m also applying for a real cohort-based residency for next summer. I was a little wiffly waffly about it until I watched the video of their application process and heard more about the space and the insights from the people who have gone…and now I really want to go, but it’s complicated. It’s not close and the timing is hard with school, which is always the issue. But I’m applying today. I am. So that means writing well-thought-out answers to questions. Ha! Maybe shouldn’t do that? Sigh. I entered a show yesterday and messed up the file names, so I have an email in for that. Sigh. Stupid. Didn’t read the fine print. Ah well, it’s a pretty easy fix, so there’s that. And the boychild is home…didn’t get sent to a big fire somewhere…yet. I’m sure it’s coming. Let Simba appreciate him for a few days more. It’s all good.

My Version of Late…

Hey. It’s summer and the weather is still nice, not oppressive. I’m still exhausted. Doesn’t help that I had to be up early today to take the dog in for his teeth cleaning. I keep trying to sleep in. Doesn’t work. I managed to get most of the office cleaned up, packed up and delivered two quilts to San Ysidro for a show opening July 12 (you should come…yeah, I know it’s a long way, but you should come anyway). I still have fabric that doesn’t have a home in the office. Maybe I should focus on that? I’ve scheduled 70,000 things, talked to a diabetes nurse about why my blood sugar is an asshole, and read way too many books. Is there such a thing as too many? I’m still pretty braindead, despite being out of school for a week now. I’ll get there. I’m just NOT there yet.

I haven’t been able to draw anything the last couple of nights…mostly getting dinner late and then it’s 10:30 and then it’s midnight, and I don’t even know what happened (see note about braindead). I did put the bindings on Sue Spargo’s Chirp quilt.

And sleeves. I found some fabric that had been in a plastic bin on the desk I use as a sewing table since the girlchild was in high school…it’s faded in a few spots, and it had a bunch of cat hair embedded in it, from when Midnight lived on it…or Babygirl? Not sure which cat lived in that box. But I washed it and the other stuff in there, recycled bits, stashed the rest. Got rid of the damn bin! There’s a lot of stuff in the sewing room/office/studio (it gets called all those things) that I literally do not know with what to do. Random shapes of cutting rulers. I don’t piece. I really only need the two I use all the time. I tossed some stuff. I had gone shopping for thread, now that Joann is gone (the store, not some woman), and I found three large spools of thread I can use in the bobbin for the next three years, if I can figure out how to set up the stand for them. Mooommmm!

So I need to do all the handsewing of the binding. I got about halfway through it last night. This is not a large quilt. I do have one more wool quilt that needs quilting. It’s bigger and way more complicated. I’m not there yet.

Last night, I spent 2+ hours at a school board meeting…this is the third they’ve held on the same issue, and they tabled it again. I get why, but jesus. I stitched through most of it.

This is a complicated block. Part of Rooted. Fun trees. It’s very portable, unlike Homegrown, which is the whole quilt at the moment. Sewing wool in summer is not ideal. But it works for braindead…and school board meetings.

No ceramics since Monday…maybe tomorrow. I’m worried about the pup at the moment. He had some weird bloodwork come back and then they called me and asked if he could have been exposed to rodenticide (um no?). So I’ll just feel better when he’s home in a few hours. This was the look on his face when he realized I really wasn’t giving him breakfast this morning.

Sorry!

I also put away like 10 quilts or more in the girlchild’s room and my own. Had to find one of the quilts to deliver today, which meant unrolling one giant roll, putting another quilt in it, and manhandling it all back together. Then a bunch of smaller ones went in three other rolls. I still have four (?) on her bed…three don’t have an official home yet. I’m waiting on one to see if it gets into a show. One of them is supposed to go in a roll that’s up in my closet. I figured after asking the Man (who is injured) to lift up and down two other rolls, I wasn’t going to do the third. I’ll do that today maybe. I figure once I get them all put away, I’ll get into something and need to pull stuff out…but I think that would happen after the girlchild visits, so we’ll be OK. She’ll be here in two weeks. Looking forward to it…figure the boychild will be gone on a fire strike team by then. He keeps getting called out and canceled to local fires. Which is good! We don’t want big fires that need strike teams. Well, I don’t. Fire crews get bored apparently.

OK. So put away the last four quilts, which means pulling that roll down. Eat lunch. Read my book. Draw some. Pick up the dog. Go to pilates. Totally not in that order. Stitch some binding. Doesn’t sound hard. Oh yeah, need to finish filling two greenery trashcans so I can put them out tonight. They’re both mostly full, so just some more sweeping and trimming and then manhandling those damn cans out to the front. See, I have a plan! Even though I’m running late on everything. My version of late anyway.