Every Single Night They’re Driving Me Insane*

Copyediting project is done…it officially took a week longer than I wanted it to take, thanks to the wonders of Microsoft Word. Field trip is a giant clusterfuck of bitchslapping. No worries. I may quit before then. Wait! No. Meditate. Get all mindful on that shit. Seriously. I can pull that mindset up WHILE I’m getting and answering texts about the buses going to hell in a handbasket…after 10 PM on a Sunday. I’m still stressed about it this morning, but I realize I can’t afford to quit. Yet (whoa! Growth mindset before a full cup of tea…if you don’t know what I’m talking about, well…you’re probably fine without it. And you’re not a teacher.).

I finished the copyediting and sent all the files after 10 PM, if you’re wondering how functional I was yesterday…the answer is, not very.

It got done. That’s what matters.

Kitten actually came out and briefly hung out with me in the office, all by herself. It’s been a while since she’s done that. Cat interactions are still somewhat fraught with drama here.

I title this, “Things that need washing”…

Yeah, he is a bit of a freak.

More flowers on the right…probably gonna have to move on to something else soon.

Then once I was done (and yeah, I graded and did a bunch of other school stuff), I started ironing again…

And realized I’d ironed these two onto the wrong fabrics. The gray should have been on the one in my hand…the tree was supposed to be green. Except I decided I liked it gray. I did re-iron the other one, because a volcanic cloud of ash probably isn’t very green.

It’s interesting, though, because I’d noticed that piece before when I was cutting and when I was sorting, and I was trying to figure out what it was, based on its shape and color, and I couldn’t. Well now I know why. (and yes, I usually do know what they are based on shape and color.)

Right side done.

Then I started on body parts…super light against the white teflon sheet, but will pop against the dark blue background. I honestly didn’t get very far. I was pretty tired.

Less than 200 pieces in…but not by a lot.

As it is, I wasn’t in bed before 12:30 AM. More tonight…hopefully with no school stress (ha! yeah right.). Seriously. School needs to back off and be nice. I don’t want to get sick before break, and increased stress affects the immune system. Sigh. Like I have any control over what goes on at work. Official observation, field trip, grades due, 2-hour staff meeting, plus the two weeks before Winter Break, which deforms the 7th-grade mind in a way I just can’t understand…it takes a strong immune system to survive all that. Y’all should thank a teacher sometime in the next two weeks. They need it. Maybe buy them dinner and a drink as well.

The two sides…the body goes between them…

Seriously looking forward to some more of this tonight. But right now? That Dream Police song is stuck in my head…dammit…

Now it’s stuck in yours too. Say thank you.

*Cheap Trick, Dream Police

Going Just to Be Sane*

Every new month, I read back through previous years of the blog for that month, looking for the clue to how to survive it better, to how it makes me feel, because so many things are cyclical. I guess it’s good to review that, because three years ago, I still was going to multiple night soccer games, freezing my ass off, and then dealing with feeding kids and all that fun stuff. Although they are coming back in a week or so. It helps me to have a space in my head to prepare for the next few weeks…knowing that the holidays are coming, but that makes school that much more crazy for the weeks leading up to it. Knowing that I have some free time coming up to finish this quilt, even if I have to really push to get through any of it right now.

Even yesterday, a wide-open day…I copyedited (I’m almost done!), I worked, I managed a bunch of stupid tiny tasks, but I did finish some stuff and start the ironing, and that was my goal. I’m totally braindead today (which is funny, because I really do have to work today and be incredibly efficient and I just don’t have it in me). One of the reasons I write this almost every day is because it clears my brain and lets me prioritize what I gotta do. It helps.

So after copyediting, I took about 18 minutes to finish cutting everything out, for a total of 17 hours and 38 minutes of cutting…no small feat.

Down to a small box full of 1360 pieces or so.

Then I sorted them. Here’s the before picture. I forgot to take an after picture, but imagine them all sorted by hundreds.

And then headed in to start ironing. I cleaned up the space a little first…

You can see the cat under the ironing board. It’s a popular spot.

That’s all I got done…because I had a show to be at, and the call was earlier than I originally thought. It’s OK. I was ready for a break…

Although I didn’t realize there would be an actual elk there. Am I the only one who thinks they sort of desecrated the elk by putting party decorations on it? Seriously. I feel sorry for all the elks I saw there.

It was someone’s birthday party. Not someone I know, of course…

I’m there for the band. I’m the groupie. Well, there are other groupies, but I’m the weird one who sits in the corner and draws.

As proven here. I spilled my first glass of wine…I wasn’t in the mood to dance (sometimes I do). I was tired. But it was an amusing people-watching event.

Yeah, the elk stuff got in there. And the American flag…because I am most definitely American. Born on an Air Force base in Alaska. You can’t deny my citizenship. But sometimes this country makes some of us feel alienated…well, an awful lot of us, honestly…for a variety of stupid reasons: sexuality, race, religion, even just for existing.

Here she is without the weird lighting…

And the wine spilling drawing.

Came home and waited for the musician to come home…with his cat batting at my face…”pet me bitch” is his stance. So I did.

Then did two nights on this, still on the right…just keep putting those big flowers in all the way down. They’re fun to stitch.

And that’s where I was last night. I did about 4 1/2 hours of job stuff: copyediting job and art job, mostly. Today will be teacher job and the other two. Yikes. Well I should get on with that, even though I feel fuzzy and brainless. I’ll get there. The ironing is already calling to me. I can be pretty damn efficient when I hear that art call.

*The Black Keys, Tighten Up

Come as You Are, as You Were*

147 fabrics. Over 19 hours. 1350 or so pieces. Finally completely ironed down to fabrics. At around 12:20 AM. As always, I made an attempt to use fabrics I hadn’t used ever, or at least in a while. I do have my favorites…they’re easy. I need a challenge sometimes to branch out and use up all the crazy stuff I buy.

Here’s all the second cat pieces, except for the eyeballs…

Kitten is fun to put in quilts because she has lots of colors…

And here’s all 147 fabrics I used…

I won’t put them away until the whole quilt is ironed together. Just in case I missed something or need to recut something. It happens.

I’m a little wigged out by my schedule at the moment. I’m losing today and tomorrow to family stuff, I still haven’t finished the copyediting, not even one readthrough (Microsoft Word is being a cranky bitch), and I haven’t finished grading the big project (should be able to finish that on the drive today). Last year, I had a quilt that had to be done by January 1 (and photographed), and today last year, I was already ironing it together. Probably because I blew off the grading and didn’t go to another family event and didn’t copyedit anything. But I was significantly ahead of where I’m at this year.

Then again, it was only an 800-piece quilt, I finished it by December 6, and it was way smaller too. I will get this one done. Somehow. I’m actually way more efficient when I’m in school. Seriously twisted that. Because I don’t have time to waste, I guess.

I did two nights’ worth on here…on the chain stitch at the top.

That’s about 330 days of stitching on there. I won’t do this again, I think, but I’m seriously considering piecing a small crazy quilt in black and doing some stitching on that, with this as the center. I miss all the stitching I used to do. It doesn’t fit the art I do now…or there aren’t enough hours in the day to do it anyway.

OK, need to be in a car in 38 minutes. Or less. Long day. But worth it, I hope. Seeing some people I haven’t seen for a while. Ideally I’ll finish grading this monster project (in the car) and get started on cutting out the 1350 or so pieces that need trimming now. Realistically, that will probably take me all next week, and maybe December 2 I’ll be able to start ironing this beast together. Do that for the next week? That gets me to the 9th. Stitch down and quilting and binding. Yikes. I think I’ll be OK. It’ll be tight. But in previous experience, when it’s tight like this, I rise to the occasion.

Still avoiding the shopping though.

*Nirvana, Come As You Are

I Couldn’t Get Away*

Happy Day after Thanksgiving, the day that splits your friend/family groups in two: either you avoid shopping like the plague or you’ve been doing it since midnight last night. I am the former. I need cat food, though, so I might venture out for that. Maybe. And people food. Although I currently have a turkey in my oven. That’s because I will get no leftovers from the two Thanksgivings I went to, and that’s fine, but I want turkey sandwiches for the next two weeks, and there’s only one way to get that: cook it yourself. It’s easy enough. She brined for a day or so and I tossed her in the oven this morning. I need to make biscuits for tomorrow as well (to go with the poop emoji rolls). But that’s easy to do.

Still on my list: the entire vacation has been all about grading, copyediting, and ironing. I should have been able to finish the ironing last night, but my brain was fuzz…I graded for about 3 hours after Thanksgiving dinner…and then tried to finish the ironing. More about that later.

So my monsters (the ones I birthed) met in Ithaca, NY, for the Day of Food, and I asked for good photos, but didn’t get any of them together (sigh), but got this…

And this…

Well. I guess that’s something. They did a great job of making a Thanksgiving feast, although the girlchild used to make pies from scratch (something about a 6-hour drive each way and an essay being due)…

Here was mine…

It was good.

Then, like I said, 3 hours of grading. With this guy. No I’m not freakin’ done. Sigh. This one project is taking hours to grade. I’m going to do more tonight. Or at some point today. Who knows when. It needs to be done by Monday.

So this is all I have left to iron, less than 100 pieces, but it was late and I was tired (it was after midnight by then), so I gave up. Today. I swear. Sometime.

This box keeps getting fuller and fuller. More and more full. And yet I’m not ready to cut them out. I’m starting to panic on timing.

I will do what I can…it will hopefully get done. Along with everything else. Maybe I should just stop sleeping. Or hanging out with people. Or both!

Huh. Puppy.

He’s such a dork.

I keep forgetting to put this link in…this is the blogpost about the show I’m in at the Rose Gallery. I have to write it there, and I don’t want to write it twice…sorry. You will have to go to the link.

Anyway. Today I bust my butt to finish all the things, realizing fully that this will not happen.

*Flock of Seagulls, I Ran (So Far Away)

Whole Days Turn into Holes in My Mind*

Happy Thanksgiving y’all. I’m cranky as shit, didn’t get enough sleep, and have way too much to do, so I have to tell myself to slow down, calm down, let it go (don’t sing that damn song right now), and take a moment. I have too much to do as always and it’s messing with my equilibrium…not that I ever really have a good handle on that anyway.

I’m plodding along on all three holiday tasks: copyediting, grading shit, and making art. Usually in that order. I didn’t sleep well last night, so that’s not helping my current mood. Girlchild did make it to the boychild, which is why I have a few photos of him. We’ll see if they manage photos of the two of them. Together.

Last year, at this time, I was cutting out pieces to a quilt…I finished ironing a few days earlier. I thought I’d be at the cutting stage on this one by now, but no.

Sometimes these two get along…

Two more nights’ on this…a weird looped chain stitch below the eye and then a pistil stitch and cross stitch to fill in space on the right.

I usually do this after eating dinner, while I’m watching the rest of whatever 42-minute-long show is on for dinner.

Then to the ironing board (yes, this is at night…during the day, I brined a turkey, made rolls that look like poop emojis, copyedited, went to the store like a crazy person, and graded one assignment)…

These are condom wrappers. You know, like you put in all your art. (Access to birth control, ALL kinds)

Words. I use words a lot.

Rainbow DNA! Yes!

I did not clean up that pile last night. I got tired. I went in to read (you know, relax on vacation) and fell asleep with only 40 pages left in my book. Got up and went to bed instead and then couldn’t sleep. Sigh.

The box is getting full…

I keep squishing it down. I’ve been ironing pieces down for over a week now, and I have 16 1/2 hours in. I have about 200 pieces to go, I think. Maybe just under that.

So that’s less than two hours. Hopefully I’ll have some brain power later today to do that. Unlikely. Turkey day sucks your brain out (carbs plus alcohol plus eating in the middle of the day…not a good combo for me). I do have about an hour now before we have to leave for festivities…I could start now, but my adult brain is telling me to go grade something. Ugh. Stupid adult brain. Well I think there’s a movie on for tonight…Netflix says…so maybe I can grade then? We’ll see. I do have all tomorrow as well…but I’m just not as efficient on break as I am when I’m working a million hours a day. Strange that.

Anyway, I’m grateful for the time off, even if I’m buried in stuff. I’m grateful for the texts and pictures from my kids. I’m grateful for the guy that peed the dogs this morning. I’m grateful for that one goofy bird outside my window that’s making that funny chirp noise. I’m grateful for the quiet of my neighbors (this morning). I’m grateful that someone else is cooking today. I’m grateful that Thanksgiving is not at MY house, because then I would have had to clean instead of make art. I’m thankful for the walk we did last night with the dogs. I’m thankful for that gorgeous blue California autumn sky.

Peace out, y’all.

*K. Flay, Giver

Everything Looks Perfect from Far Away*

My efficiency was compromised yesterday by life. And my eyeballs. And the girlchild, who sobbed into the phone that she just wanted to come home. Well. That made me cry. I do miss the little fuckers. Big. They’re bigger than me. Anyway. I copyedited, I hiked, I ironed. That kinda sums up the day.

This is what copyediting looks like. Hallelujah for that raccoon, let me tell you. He makes me smile every time I look up. There’s a window above that and another one to the left. But I didn’t get as far as I wanted yesterday, because there was a girlchild incursion.

So I sent her lots of pictures of these guys. Although I couldn’t get both of them to sit picturesquely, dammit.

Then I did a 4-mile hike in the dark. It was a bit of a challenge, just because there were lots of rocks and no visibility. Yes, I had a headlamp, but I was having some issues seeing anyway.

But since it was in the 90s yesterday, at night was the only way I was gonna hike. So I’m in this hiking group, but they changed the rules to make it more active, so you have to go on one hike every 6 months to stay in the group. I begged the leader last year to leave me in, but I suspected I needed to do an actual hike with the group soon or I’d be booted. It’s just hard with my current schedule to find something I can do. After work is difficult…most of the hikes I would do are on the day I do tutoring, so it’s already a really long day.

So I went to the top of Black Mountain in the dark. Hence no good pictures. Four miles total…not bad for a Tuesday night.

Apparently she does this one all the time. I’d do it again…but I wouldn’t get there in time for after work. Too much traffic.

I came home and vegged a bit with this freak…

And girlchild FaceTimed again, now calmer and more decisive…this face is because she misses the dogs. Simba sucks at FaceTime.

I did iron last night…but not as much as I wanted to. Hikes tire me out. But there’s Midnight ironed down with her wings…

Damn I miss that cat. I made a mess again.

Got up early this morning to talk the girlchild through part of her drive to her brother…found the dog eating student warmups…luckily I’d already graded them.

Then made the dough for rolls (need to deal with those), plus brine for the turkey (mine is cooking Friday), talked to girlchild some more, talked to SIL, finally showered, my eyes are so tired right now, but I need to go make the rolls and then copyedit. Or go to the store (damn) or drop my book at the library. I graded a little bit this morning…I need to do more of that too. Ugh. And it’s dry and 95 degrees today. My body is rejecting all that. I want a nap.

What I really want is to FINISH everything. Yeah. Not happening. Gonna try to finish grading the one assignment, finish the first readthrough on the book, and iron all the pieces down (that might be a stretch). Today. TRY. I said TRY.

*The Postal Service, Such Great Heights

There’s Still Time to Change the Road You’re on*

So I spent a couple hours last night worrying about the girlchild, who was on lockdown in a dorm where a robbery took place at gunpoint. Because we need guns for protection, right? Because if anyone else in that dorm had possessed a gun, a whole lot of people would be injured or dead right now. As it is, everyone was fine, although I think both girlchild and I (and quite a few other parents and students) had the shakes for a while. But please don’t ever say to me that you have a right to carry a gun. Nope. You don’t. Not unless you’re a cop…and even then, I have misgivings because so many of our cops are racist and/or reactionary.

Anyway. That’s done.

I did some lazy daisies on the right that look like bull heads.

And then I ironed all those inner bits and pieces…here’s the layout for the heart and arteries…

And the pile of fabrics I went through last night…another 3 hours or so yesterday.

I’m up to 13 hours in the ironing…with about 400 pieces to go, I figure. It’s not been quick, that’s for sure. Here’s just one of the reds in the heart/arteries section…

Lots of pieces ready to be cut out.

And all the fabrics I’ve used so far…

I’ve been working to 1 AM and then falling into bed exhausted. The nighttime hours are better for this, I find. I did copyedit during the day yesterday…more of that today. I haven’t graded any assignments since Sunday, and I need to do some of that too. So I’m probably not going to finish the ironing today…can’t really blow off the moneymaking part of my week yet. I need to get significantly further along. I do have most of today (I’m hiking tonight), all of tomorrow, a few hours on Thanksgiving (mostly nighttime probably), and all of Friday. But I’m realizing it’s never enough. This quilt has to be done and photographed in less than 40 days. I can do that…but the copyediting has to be done in less time than that, and I have to deal with school. I can’t just push that off. Where do the hours go? Staring at fabric, I think. Mostly. And dealing with dogs. Stupid stuff like eating and peeing. I made lasagne from scratch yesterday…but that’s 3 more dinners on top of last night’s. So that was a good thing.

Sitting here watching a hummingbird on the flowers outside my office window…supposed to be in the 90s today. November, my ass.

OK, so shower, eat, copyedit. Consider venturing out for the chicken broth I should’ve bought on Sunday for the turkey I’m making for myself. Gotta make some rolls too. Should do that tomorrow…

Now get up and go.

*Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven

Now That We’re Here, It’s So Far Away

Today I have to work for real. I did grade yesterday, but today I need to start the copyediting project I took on. But first? Chiropractor and Costco. I might need assistance getting out of the latter. Shitty timing for that, after seeing the grocery store yesterday. I always forget about the crazy food shopping that happens before Thanksgiving, now that the girlchild isn’t here for the day. She’s the amazing cook, where we had to drive to like 4 different stores finding all the stuff she needed, plus some desperate Thursday morning shopping trips. Can’t say I miss that, but I do miss having her around and cooking.

So when I get done with that, I’ll come home and read and correct until my eyes blur. Maybe I’ll stop before that. We’ll see. I’d like it done before I go back to school. But I also want to get done with the ironing…so balance. Speaking of balance, I took an art workshop yesterday…I did a lot of printmaking in college and soon after, but then I leaned into the fabric and fell in. But this was nice…I had an idea going in, so I did a rough sketch on paper, remembering to flip the word and letters…

Drew it on the rubber eraser stuff…this is way easier to carve than linoleum…

Carved and ready to ink…

Not bad…probably haven’t done this for 20 years…

Maybe these are my Xmas cards this year (although I need more)…

Then two nights’ worth on here, mostly doing more feather stitches on the right around the eye.

And finally in to the ironing. I had to find all the little-head pieces and iron them to the same flesh run as before…

Here’s all the pieces that were NOT flesh-colored but shoved in there…eyeballs, hearts, arteries, lungs, etc. I had to go up to piece 948 to get all the heads and arms picked.

But I don’t have 950 pieces ironed down…I gotta do all those inner pieces…

Here’s just the pile of arteries and heart parts.

At the parentals’ for dinner, I finished sewing down the wonky sun and started to do eyeballs and nostrils.

The wool stitchdown on this set of blocks seems to be taking forever. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since I did the last one? I don’t remember.

These two slept on the back of the couch last night for quite a while together.

I did iron a ton of pieces last night…you can see the pile on the left…and the pile of fabrics on the right.

I still have all these innards to deal with…

I did some of the teeth and eyeballs and tongues, but not much else…just the hair on the little heads. So there are fewer piles than there were before.

Here’s all the fabrics I’ve used so far.

Calli this morning…glad to be in the house with a HooMan.

And her little brother, who wants to play…

I did actually start this post this morning, but then went to the chiropractor visit and a hell trip to Costco (should never go there near a holiday)…and then I started the sauce for the lasagne, ate lunch, and started copyediting before I remembered I’d never posted this. Whoops. Oh well. I’ll work for a while and then assemble lasagne and then maybe iron tonight. I love the ironing. The delving into color boxes to the deep back where there might be a fabric that hasn’t seen the light of day in a year, just to toss it into this quilt. Fun stuff.

*Staind, So Far Away

I Went in Seeking Clarity*

I did pretty well yesterday practicing being a normal human being who isn’t holding down three jobs on a random basis…I haven’t started copyediting yet. I think I’ll do that tomorrow. I have been working on the quilt that has to be done and photographed by January 1. But even spending 3 1/2 hours ironing yesterday, which puts me at 6 hours total, and about a third done. That’s it. (Laughing hysterically in my head). And schoolwork? Didn’t fucking touch any of it yesterday.

Good job, Kathy. No really. We have to live a life that’s worth it. And the art is always part of that, although venturing out of the house occasionally is also a plus.

So I had some Christmas shopping I needed to do, which made driving to an arts and craft sale (a really nice one) a good plan. And it worked. Because I got a good chunk of the shopping done. And then I was rewarded with this…a flight of awesome ciders…drunk while watching the guy prep pomegranate seeds for a future batch. Amazing place, Serpentine Cider up in the Miramar area.

This art on the wall…also awesome…

Wood burned and painted…totally amazing.

Then we came home and I spent about an hour and a half piling up flesh pieces…which I then had to cover up so we could go to an art opening…because I couldn’t get it all done. It’s not even done now…I just picked a place to stop (everything but the little heads on top).

So I have loved Bhavna Mehta’s paper-cutting work for years. You’ve seen her work here before. She did some community work, helping people make wearable paper art, and last night was the (very crowded) opening at Art Produce Gallery. Bhavna had her floral/leaf strips hanging from the ceiling, and then the women who had created works were walking around…

And there were pictures of them with their creations on the walls…

It was very hard to get photos of anything.

But I tried…

Some dinner found its way into our gullets and then I came back to iron all that flesh down…

I still have to do the little heads, but I couldn’t handle the giant piles any more.

And these are all the other pieces of the body that aren’t flesh-colored…so lungs and heart and tattoos and I don’t even know what else. That will be today maybe? After I finish the heads. We’ll see. I was going to do some schoolwork today too. Plus I’m doing a holiday card workshop. Why? Because I felt like it. Yeah, I already know how to carve a lino block and print it, but this is easier than trying to do it here. And I can walk away from the cleanup! Yeah, I know…whatever.

It’s a week off, but it always goes quickly. There’s so many errands and tasks associated with the holidays, so it makes it a lot harder to feel like you got a lot done this week. But I’m gonna try to be efficient as hell.

*Indigo Girls, Closer to Fine

I Wanna Be Your Left Hand Man*

I’m up! It’s morning! It’s a beautiful day! Can you tell that I have the next NINE days off work! I mean, as OFF work as you can be with 5 assignments to grade, a worksheet or two to finish creating, 140 pages of copyediting to do, and 1200 pieces to iron (OK, the last is a joy). So yeah, if you’re thinking, AWWW LUCKY, then you don’t really get that I bring home work almost every night and do these stupid 12-hour days sometimes and work every Sunday and sometimes Saturday as well. Honestly, you give teachers vacations so they don’t all quit their jobs and/or duct tape a particularly annoying child to a chair. Permanently. There’s a reason 50% of teachers quit by their 5-year anniversary.

With that said, I’m not copyediting or grading shit today…maybe tomorrow I’ll start. But I try to keep Saturdays free of that stuff.

This cat and people food…he’s got an issue…”I will stalk the plate crumbs.”

Two nights’ worth…chain stitch on the left top and then cross stitches. Maybe something else…can’t remember. I’m mostly just filling space.

Finally made it in to iron around 9 something. I did both sides…the landscape in the background. Although I have a little left to do on the right side. I’ve done about 150 pieces, that’s it. Not fast.

But I do love doing it…

I also love mornings where I can just sit here and text the kids back and forth while drinking my tea in my pajamas. It was nice.

This cat…she’s a bit psycho. I’ve been trying to persuade her to come back out into the living room and my office, where she used to hang out, but she’s nervous about the other cat…

She does love bathmats though.

Anyway, work, the good kind, is on my mind. Gonna do some art stuff today for sure. There’s a balance. I’m working on it.

*Vance Joy, Riptide