Sat by the River and It Made Me Complete*

So I just realized it’s Friday. And I go back to school in 3 weeks. I’m not ready. I never am. It’s not that I don’t like my job…I actually do like my job. I’d rather do my job than a million other jobs. It’s the time commitment. Every summer, I read a hundred articles about how to be a more efficient teacher, to spend less time grading and more time connecting. Last year sucked for that. I need to do better at that this year. It’s not the kids who are amazing or even not so amazing but will actually respond when you work with them…it’s the ones that refuse to do anything even after you’ve used everything in your teacher toolbox to entice them to actually turn something in. Those are the ones who suck it out of me. I spend so much mental energy on them. There were a lot of those last year. After 15 years of teaching, I still don’t have the magic solution to those kids. Frustrating.

But I have three weeks before I have to start dealing with all that. Three weeks when there is no way in hell I won’t know what day it is. So I should use that time wisely. Making art, really. OK, I have a copyediting job too and a bunch of house and yard stuff I haven’t even touched. As always. I still have one more week of jury duty call-in. I don’t think I’ll get called, but you never know.

On my mind today? The over 700 kids who couldn’t be reunited with their families…due to some mealy-mouthed crap from the government that really didn’t plan this shit out in the first place. So some of these kids have now experienced significant trauma that might continue for the rest of their lives. Thanks Repubs. Appreciated. You know they train teachers in trauma now? How to deal with trauma, shooters, abuse…fun stuff. Is it the government’s place to cause more trauma? I would hope we would be on the side of alleviating it instead of creating it.

So my original goal this week was to iron 6-8 hours a day and hopefully be done today. Ha! OK, so not going to be done today. Maybe tomorrow? But doubtful. I did iron almost 7 hours yesterday…I have almost 13 hours in…so about halfway in the guesstimated time, but no way am I halfway through the pieces. I’m in the 800s, but there are a bunch that aren’t ironed from the last woman.

I totally forget to photograph stuff while I’m ironing to fabrics…it’s just piles of stuff. Oh yeah, I walked the dog when it got cooler too. The other dog went with the boychild to his dad’s house. But this one needed exercise and I keep forgetting to do it.

It’s good for me too. Although my foot is really sore this morning. Damn foot.

Here’s the run for the third woman I ironed last night.

Usually there’s maybe 2 humans in a quilt…this one has 9 I think. Not counting the baby. The mermaid earth mother was purple and green. Then two shadow women were gray. One has a baby, also gray. Then the woman in the water, sort of pinky purple, black hair, green eyes. I looked at the other people and tried to decide how I would do each of them. I didn’t draw them originally with particular races or genetic traits in mind…well, except for one of them. I just want a range of womanity. So the next woman I ironed is the browns on the left of the picture below. I kept them out, because the hill behind her was going to be brown as well, but I have just now, right this second, questioned that. Why brown? Why not green and florals? Seriously? Some of what goes on in my head is contrast…how to make the figures pop. But this is a really busy quilt and maybe it’s less about the figures popping on what’s behind them and more about the overall look? I’m not sure. I color these in my head as I pick stuff…so it’s recoloring right now as I type this. I think it’ll be a while (hours?) before I get to the hill behind her, so maybe I’ll change my mind. Or not.

I’m going to have an issue with one of the women on the top of the hill, to make sure she shows up on the background. We’ll see. That’s 900 pieces away, I think.

This is all the fabrics I’ve used so far…plus the box of all the ironed pieces.

That is not a small number of pieces. This thing is big.

Not thinking about school. I’ll get some official email next week about school stuff. Even then, I planned ahead. I do have to put my classroom back together, but I’m pretty sure it’s not done yet (the floors need 6 coats). So I’m not sure when I’ll be able to do that. August 10th? Maybe. Hopefully.

Today? I’m not going to get 7 hours of ironing in. But maybe 5? That’ll be my goal. Another 5 tomorrow? I still don’t think that will be enough. Hmmm. Well, I’m progressing, so that’s good.

*Keane, Somewhere Only We Know

Every Day Should Have Art

I woke up to 49 texts between the kids about Vitamin B12 and some weird gourd plant. There are worse things.

Still working on the list. Things take time. My brain takes time. I had limited artmaking time yesterday…much like today. So I got right on the making part of it…

These are two small quilts that will be in boxes for a wall exhibit this fall. This one has only 30 pieces in it.

And it took less than an hour (just) to iron together. Most of that time was actually cutting out the little tiny pieces, because I’ve learned not to cut those out until I’m about to iron them…they just disappear.

And this one has 90 pieces. I lost two leaves and about four of the leaf stems. I don’t know how. It happens. This one took just over an hour to iron together.

I like it though.

Today they can be stitched down, maybe…I want to sew the other binding down first. I hate changing thread and machine feet, so I just try to get everything done that needs to be before I change. So binding first and then stitch down.

Meanwhile, I need to finish weaving, sew a binding by hand (well two, really, but one isn’t crucial), and then embroider a bunch of balls. Plus finish that damn drawing so I can start tracing. So I might finish it before the end of August. A plan!

Yesterday, we celebrated the man’s birthday with a history and wine tour of San Diego’s Little Italy. It was nice. It was more wine than history, but that was the plan all along.

We hadn’t been down there for about a year or more, since the last Artwalk we went to (not sure what year that was…not this one), and there were some significant changes. It’s a nice area for eating and walking. I think they’re doing more to make it that way.

We were at an art opening last year down here, but I don’t think we walked around much. There’s a whole new fountain and plaza. Here’s the neighborhood sign and accompanying mosaic…of TUNA. Lots of tuna emphasis.

We had a nice time…although were mostly useless for the rest of the night. I seriously don’t know what I did…spaced out, watched music videos, read articles. Didn’t make art. That shit happens. That’s part of why I write so much…it reminds me to make work, make more work, don’t just space out all the time. I suspect that’s always good advice.

Today is full of parents and food and groceries. And art. Every day should have art.

Beat Me Up with Your Letters*

Late post today…wish it was from sleeping in and relaxing, but I’ve been up for hours. Took one car into the shop…I’m tired of the driver window not working. Then drove to pick up another quilt…well, quilts, because some little ones were in their shop for the last year, and they just gave back the three that hadn’t sold…so those are back on Etsy. I’m never sure Etsy is working very hard for me, but since I sell about one small quilt a year on there and the expenses are much less than that, it can’t hurt. I don’t work very hard at my Etsy account though. None of the larger quilts are on there. They’re too expensive for that market, I think…and I suspect even some of the smaller ones might be too. Probably most of my stuff is too weird for Etsy too.

Anyway, I also bought the binding fabrics for the two quilts that are now ready, because Yes! I finished quilting the long skinny one yesterday. I finally managed to sit still for like 3 1/2 hours (it’s been hard folks) to finish. Here’s the heart and boobs…

The whole thing stretched out over my chair…

Did the face…the pin is another place I forgot to stitch down. Done now.

And then I went right into quilting the background…there wasn’t much of it.

So there’s two ready to be trimmed and bound. Maybe later today? I have a lot going on today.

Then I realized I had quilt class today and nothing really to work on. I have a bag I could finish, but I’m missing some materials and haven’t had (made) the time to get those. So that’s out. I could take the binding with me, but I’d have to take all my stuff with me to do that, and it’s too much to deal with. So I remembered those two little quilts…last week at class I trimmed the Wonder Under. So I spent about an hour and a half last night ironing it to fabrics…I think this more complicated one has about 23 fabrics in it (but 90 pieces).

I am keeping track of time on these, so they’ll be for sale after they’ve been in the exhibit they’re getting made for…so December maybe? I can’t remember when the exhibit closes. It’s a California Fibers’ exhibit at Soka University in Orange County. I have four larger pieces in the exhibit, and then these two small ones will be part of a wall display our whole group is making. It should be cool.

I just used the same flesh fabrics from the quilt I just finished. It was easier. I don’t want to spend a lot of time on these.

The second piece only has 30 pieces, so it will be quicker to get done.

I may have underestimated my time with thinking I could finish them in a couple of hours. It’s going to be a bit longer than that. But now I can take them to class with me and get them cut out. That’s a step in the right direction.

So I didn’t get time to draw last night, because I was doing those. Plus I had book club last night. It was an interesting conversation about The Power by Naomi Alderman, especially in light of watching the second season of The Handmaid’s Tale and dealing with politics over the last few months. We spent a lot of time talking about social implications and nature v. nurture…always interesting. My book club is sci fi and fantasy based, so we do spend a lot of time on the science of things, which I really enjoy. I used to review the books I was reading on here pretty regularly. Honestly, I’ve spent most of the last 5 months reading the Expanse series…I have one novella left, and then I’m totally caught up until the new one comes out in December. I’ve really enjoyed the stories but also the portrayal of women in this series, which seems to be a bigger issue for me now that I’m old and mostly invisible. I read one of Philip K. Dick’s books, The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, and spent the first three chapters just chafing at his women. Sigh. It makes it harder to read…and watch, honestly, when they turn them into movies. Maybe I’ll try to write more about what I’m reading here. Again.

Anyway, so getting some more stuff done today, although probably more hobby stuff than art stuff. That’s OK. There’s progress…that’s all I need.

*Squeeze, Is That Love?

Might Be Over Now, but I Feel It Still*

My definition of a break is different from vacation. Vacation is when you get in the car or on a plane and you travel somewhere and hang out there and it involves not sleeping in your bed and possibly eating weird food. Vacations are cool. I went years without vacations because I couldn’t afford them, and as it is now, I don’t do them a lot (still money), but I try to do one a year for a week and then a few smaller ones. This year, I’m going to Boston (excuse me, Waltham) to visit the girlchild in November. It’s really hard (for me) as a teacher to take time off during the school year. It’s such a pain in the ass to create good lesson plans and hope a guest teacher won’t completely fuck it up and teach the kids something completely incorrectly (sigh…it’s way too common) and then I lose days when I come back, trying to correct their misconception AND deal with behavior. So I avoid it.

I rarely get to travel during summer, because of that lost paycheck. It’s hard to plan to spend a chunk of money when you know you won’t have any more coming in. I currently have a list of things I need to buy but will need to wait until September (or whenever the credit card cycle starts that will bill in September…teachers, you all know what I’m talking about). I would love to vacate right now. Really. I would. We tried to set up a weekend camping trip, but we waited too long and all the campsites are booked. And I can’t plan anything in July during the week because of the silly jury duty. August is already a disaster schedule-wise.

So no vacation right now. Staycation? OK. Go see some music, maybe hike a bit, possibly kayak, go to the zoo? I don’t know. Something I don’t do during the school year very often, because I’m so buried. But maybe that’s my resolution for the 2018-2019 school year? More weekend things that are less about work and more about being a relaxing human. (I suck at relaxation, you may have noticed.) This is a break though…a break from the job and the kids and all the other crap and that in itself is a good thing.

Anyway, my car window got fixed yesterday. I was worried that it would be the wrong window or something else would go wrong, but it worked out and the gardener who accidentally shattered it with a rock ended up paying for almost all of it. So all that turned out well. I was expecting to have to spend more time and energy on the issue, and I didn’t have to. So that sort of freed up my brain all day to do a bunch of different art- and fiber-related activities. I think it was the first day since school got out where I felt like I was on break. Because no school. No doctor. Only two errands and they were done early. Nice. Need more of that please.

So I started out with trying to finish the ironing on this…another cat! Shocking.

And some tiny sewing implements…

Then I started ironing it onto a background, but I needed to go to my fiber-related summer social meeting. So I packed up some bits and pieces and headed out. I cut the Wonder Under for the two small quilts…

These lunch containers work well for keeping pieces separated…the sandwich one doesn’t though because the divider doesn’t go all the way up.

So those are ready for fabric choosing.

Then I finished sewing all the wooly bits down on this, September’s blocks.

I also pinned October’s pieces down to that blank block, but that was when I got home…and I stitched a little on (I don’t know what month I’m actually on? July?) the bigger piece. I’m getting closer to done on this. I didn’t photograph any of that.

Then I ironed the rest of this down. I like her. She’s ready to be stitched down.

I’ve been trying to keep doing yardwork, but mostly in the evenings because it’s too hot otherwise. Last night, I was entertaining the dogs while whacking at trees and bushes that haven’t been trimmed for a million years. I lost the puppy for a while in there, and Calli kept bringing me half-chewed sticks to throw.

I will probably never finish back there.

So I can’t do the stitch down on the skinny quilt until I finish quilting this. I don’t want it to go back in the pile. So I quilted for an hour or two, until I was almost out of thread.

It’s not hard. It just takes time. Thread purchase on the list for today. I didn’t want to buy more unless I knew I needed it. Now I know I need it.

So after all that, running out of thread, I decided to try drawing. It’s always hard to get back to drawing if I haven’t done it for a while. It’s like my hand stutters. I have an enlarged old drawing, I have this original drawing from 2011 or 2012, and then I have this cat on my lap. Huh.

Anyway, so I started drawing the righthand figure again, but now I have an issue because I like parts of the old drawing better than the new and I like parts of the new drawing better than the old. Aargh. So I think I’m going to copy both real size and then put them together? Or maybe I’ll copy both enlarged and put them together?

I just don’t know. Or redraw it again. Sigh. Maybe that. The shape of the old one is better but what’s in the belly of the new one is better. Fuuck. OK. Well no decision there, eh? Nothing new. Indecisive brain for two weeks now.

OK, so today…buy thread, make some copies (decide at some point what I’m copying?), pick up the ceramics I painted last week, go watch some music and grab some dinner. Easy. Not too bad. I can handle it. I might even feel relaxed by the end of it!

*Portugal. The Man, Feel It Still

Need to Be Out of Here

Well. I need caffeine delivery at my training. They are nice. They feed us lunch. They bring us snacks and extension cords that don’t have a third prong hole. There’s plenty of water. We can pee whenever we want (trust me, for teachers, that’s a major issue)…but there’s no coffee or tea and the day was long. I don’t sit for that long normally either…like unless I’m on a plane. They had us stand up a few times, but I need a long walk and more caffeine. I’m even willing to bring my own milk and tea bags, if they’ll just give us hot water.

So if you’ve never heard of National Board Certification for teachers, it’s not an easy process. In fact, it’s a monstrous pain in the ass…but doable. And I think it’s useful…not only as a way to focus on how one teaches and picks resources and handles assessment and feedback and differentiation (which is hard), but also to protect teachers from crazy administrators (they’re out there, along with the crazy teachers and the crazy parents). They talk about creating teacher leaders, which kinda cracks me up as I look around the room…there’s some crazy people like me in there, and then some high achievers (English, we’re looking at you), and some who had no idea what they were in for, but it does take all kinds. The teacher leaders I’ve dealt the best with are those who work hard, think about kids and curriculum all the time, reflect all the time, and are willing to share information. Science doesn’t attract a lot of teachers who like to follow rules, I’ve found…there were only two other science teachers there, and I’m betting one doesn’t show up at all today and the other one is only going to show up because she thinks I might be able to help her. And I might.

Anyway, today will be longer. And harder. And I need to find caffeine. Or another thermos.

What else did I get done yesterday? Not much. I watched the window fall out even more…

Fixing it Thursday.

I sewed Pekinese stitch on three balls. THREE.

And then I ironed. Eventually. It was late.

The face…I ironed the teacup separately, same with the leaves…the snake, I did right on the hair. I don’t worry too much about being exactly in the right place for that. It’s not overlapping anything it needs to cover.

The camera and the eye were separate…easier to see where the pieces need to be when I do it that way…

Then onto the face. Cool. I like it.

She’s really pale…which means she’ll pop on a dark background.

I’m almost done with the ironing of the bits. I wanted to be done last night, but I got home and was tired and tried to deal with some stuff, entering a show, finding an old poem for a show…now I need to make the art to go with it, because I committed to that show. Whoops! Nah, it’s OK. I have to do two small pieces by the end of July too. I cut out some small pieces of paper to take to my training, in case I feel like drawing, but that’s hard to do with total strangers sitting next to you and watching everything you do. Plus I don’t know what to do on such small pieces. The big drawing is still sitting on the light table, waiting for me to start something…anything.

But I was in bed around midnight, because I knew I had to get up even earlier this morning…gotta fight traffic. If I get called on jury duty, it’s downtown. Talk about fighting traffic. Ugh. Not looking forward to that. I need lots of sleep over summer break…to make up for how little I sleep during the school year.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll finish ironing tonight, maybe even get it ironed to the background? I only have about 60 pieces to go, if that. And they’re big and easy…no fussy little face parts. Then I’ll have to finish quilting the other one so I can do stitch down on this. That won’t take long…but it will take SOME time. This week is so packed.

There was a video made of the Things That Matter Preview Exhibit…my quilt and I are in it…this exhibit is up at Visions Art Museum through July 8…and then the full exhibit will be in Chandler, Arizona, in November.

I don’t think I’ll be able to make that opening…pretty sure I’ll be hanging with the girlchild in Boston…but I hope I’ll see the full exhibit at some point.

OK, need to be out of here…in so many ways…

Whole Days Turn into Holes in My Mind*

Sigh. Well the universe said hi yesterday. With a rock. It’s interesting (I was gonna say funny, but it’s funny strange, not funny ha ha, so maybe it’s not funny at all)…it doesn’t matter how much I plan money out for summer break, there’s always something that throws a wrench into that plan. I guess in the scheme of things, this is not a biggie…it just had shitty timing. We were driving home from the grocery store yesterday and drove past a guy weedwacking a slope, and his machine shot a rock right through the side window of the car. Shattered it. Now thinking back, with about 12 hours of processing, I guess we should be really really glad we were almost past when that rock shot through, because it would probably have damaged a person if they’d been in the way. I still haven’t found the rock in the car. A chunk of the shattered glass below has now fallen out…on the driveway and into the car…

Just from opening and closing the door and the hood…the hood because the next thing we had to do was jumpstart the Honda, because its battery was having issues (we don’t drive it enough with the kids gone). And then I drove that down to the gas station and filled the tires, put gas in it, cleaned all the windows, because I have teacher professional development today…so I can’t get the other window fixed until probably Thursday, the guy wasn’t insured but said he’d pay for it (if he gave me a real phone number and actually has $400), and my insurance won’t cover it because I carry a high deductible to make insurance cheaper. I hope he’ll pay some of it though, because I don’t get paid in the summer….so it makes bill payment a little challenging sometimes. Especially by the end of August. I can’t order stuff for school until after the credit card cycle is done for July so I won’t see it on a bill until September, when I have a paycheck.

Anyway. I’m trying to find somewhere cheaper than the first two I looked at, but they want a 4-hour window of time to come fix it, and I can’t just leave a car with a hole in the window in a parking lot…so I guess it’ll be driving the Honda for a few days. I just tried the Honda again this morning to make sure it would start and it did. I guess that’s the universe too…

So that kind of blew my afternoon up a bit, trying to get information from insurance and glass places on a Sunday afternoon, with both neighbors throwing parties…we had kid noise on one side and bad cigars on the other. Fun stuff.

I did eventually iron…I was going to draw, but the afternoon kind of clusterfucked my head. So ironing was easier…bird and heart. I’m not sure how the bird will play on the background…I might need to add something behind it…we’ll see. I can’t remember if I was holding fabrics up to the background or not. I think it’ll be OK. The background is pretty dark.

Then a phone and the pills in the stomach…plus all the rib details…

With dinner, there was some more stitching on balls…

Three of them. My average no matter what? I thought these would be faster, but apparently not.

Then back to the ironing…lungs and heart…fussy little beasts.

And the left arm, down to meet the squeegee.

Then I rolled all of that up so I could do the top section…the right arm.

Next is the head and then all the stuff in the sky above. I think I have about 170 pieces left to iron together, and then obviously I need to put it on the background. I might get to all that tonight. Since I can’t fix the window.

Kitten told me it was time to go to bed (it was after midnight…she was right…)

But that mockingbird. Pillow over the head. Gotta pack up for this meeting…call my car guy and see if he has a recommendation for glass replacement. Text the gardener. Meditate.

*K.Flay, Giver

I Like a Plan

A Sunday without planning for school. Again. So delightful. No school worries. Although I’m in teacher professional development for the next three days, so that’s not really no school. But they will feed me. And hopefully it will be informational and useful and not just annoying overachievers. We’ll see. I think I use up all my people skills (what few I have) on my students all year. I need to rebuild those reserves. Maybe hanging out with teachers I don’t know for three days is not the way to do that…but who knows? Maybe I’ll be totally reflective and motivated.

Right now, I think I need a nap. The mockingbird is back. He’s been all over the neighborhood, but last night was in the tree outside my bedroom again. It makes me crazy. I slept with the pillow over my head. Drowning out noise with fabric and feathers. Ironic that. Bird drowning out bird. Very philosophical this morning.

I have this drawing I’m contemplating. I started it years ago, 2012? And it grew, but I’m not sure it grew logically, and it means something different to me now. I was going to just go with it and maybe add to the bottom, but now that doesn’t make sense to me. I thought about just using half of it, but every time I look at it, I see pieces I like and pieces I don’t like, that don’t go with the story as it is now. So I think I’m going to redraw it but move pieces around…make it less horizontal too while I’m at it.

It’s going to be my epic summer quilt. But first I have to tear this apart and redo the whole thing. No Biggie! It’s taken me a week of contemplating it and deadlines to finally make the decision. So redraw it I will.

But let’s go back…it’s been a busy two days. I had a voucher at the local ceramic painting place that was expiring, so me and a million moms and kids headed to the same place to use them up. No one would sit at my table…which was fine by me…but I got side-eyed by about a million people for painting nudes I guess…

These are before firing, of course…who knows what they will look like fired.

Well, we all will next week when I pick them up. I make about one mug a year…I tend to break them. Overuse them. All that.

I also made a uterus bowl…like you do…

With a lot of symbols on the outside.

And then I made a sign for Saturday’s march to keep families together. But that was once I came home and made dinner…I didn’t do that at the ceramics place.

San Diego had already scheduled a march for the 23rd and then the national one came through for the 30th. I already have stuff going on the 30th, so I’m just doing the one march…hope the second one pulls enough people to make a difference too.

I saw this cool sculpture walking to my meeting spot…

And then lots of speeches (too many speeches, honestly) and a short march to the federal building…

It’s frustrating to live in a time when we have to yell and stomp so much for our government to hear us…and they still blow us off. Sigh.

When I got back, my brother was texting me pictures of the boychild with his cousins…going tree climbing.

My kid is the biggest…so far. The others are getting taller every time I see them.

Mine is the long one in the middle…

Looks like fun. I wanna do that. I kinda miss those summers when I would drag the kids up to Seattle to hang out for a week.

Anyway, boychild will be leaving Monday apparently to head south. He should be here in a week or so. So that means cleaning his room. It’s not too bad. I piled the worst of it in the girlchild’s room last year when my guy moved in here and I hadn’t finished cleaning up stuff in my bedroom. Sometimes I just don’t know what to do with stuff. I’m not sure if I need it or not and I hate throwing things away. I threw a lot away last summer with the garage clean out. I think I reached a limit at some point.

Anyway, that’s next week. And sometime in July, when I panic about the girlchild coming home.

Meanwhile, my office is always a disaster…but especially after I’ve picked all the fabrics and haven’t cleaned up yet…I leave everything out in case I lose a piece (I found a lost one last night)…there’s a cat in this photo…

There it is. Kitten on Mt. Batting.

She spends a lot of time there. It’s safe from the other kitty and it’s comfortable and in the room where mom spends a lot of time.

So at some point yesterday I felt awake enough to iron for a while, up into the thighs. The sun comes in here in the afternoon and makes it hard to see stuff.

And then I took a break for a while and went to dinner and then came back and worked on the lights and the squeegee and the uterus…not all of that is ironed down though, because stuff is supposed to go behind the top part of the pelvic girdle…

Kitten came down to visit (and watch Supernatural apparently)…she sat on the chair that is hidden there for a while, until the other cat came in and got territorial. Sigh. At this point, I had cleaned about half the papers that were piled on my desk…I still have the other side and then the desk to the left. School sucks up so much time that there are balls that just drop…and cleaning the paper crap up is part of that. So I lose shows sometimes in the paper piles. I forget about them. I try to be logical, but I’m not always good at it. I want to try a different organization plan in here, but I need a new stacking file thing…the two I have don’t fit into each other unfortunately. So that’s a trip somewhere. Organization has been my issue my entire life. I like it when it happens, but I keep changing how I do stuff to try to get MORE organized, and then I wait to see what sticks. I’ve reorganized in my office/studio about 3000 times. I have a plan for hopefully next summer (need money) to do a remodel of the whole room…but I’m not there yet.

Anyway, I was ironing the gingko leaves separately, because they had a lot of tiny pieces and I needed to see the pattern before I ironed them onto the belly fabric.

There they are…

And then I put them on the belly fabric, but folded the leaf itself down until the stuff above was done…first a stomach, liver, and intestines…

And then the ribs and abs…then I could iron the gingkos all the way down. I still need to add a bunch of detail bits in there, but it was just after midnight at that point. I took a break in the middle because the library emailed me that my book was due soon, so I finished it…plus my feet hurt from standing, so I gave them a break.

I’m officially more than halfway done now…lots of complicated stuff still to be ironed. You can see all the bottom bits are rolled up at the bottom. I decided to just keep going instead of ironing the parts separately and trying to fit them together at the end. Especially with the hand that will come down and hold the squeegee…I wanted to make sure everything meets up.

Oh yeah, I finished all the red balls on this quilt and started doing the embellishment of the fuschia balls, which are only a slightly different color than the blush pink balls (there’s one of those on the top for comparison). The stitch around the fuschia balls is fairly easy, but requires going around twice. I only did one…I took time Friday night to finish the 4 red ones that were left and start the fuschia, which is why I got no artmaking done. Plus tired.

I made up for it by doing no ball stitching last night…but I figure if I finish embellishing 3 balls a night on average and there are 80 (79) left to go, then that’s 26 nights. So sometime in July. Plus I should be quilting the other wool quilt, but I have to finish the cotton one that’s under the machine, and ain’t none of that happening in the next three days. So there.

So there’s finishing ironing, maybe quilting, getting prepped for tomorrow’s teacher PD, groceries, maybe a dog walk…if it cools down enough. Maybe some cleaning or organization. We’ll see. Yardwork that’s never done. EVER. One week of summer break gone. I hate that feeling. Then I have to persuade myself that there’s a ton left, everything will be fine, don’t panic. DRAWING. I need to draw. That’s a plan…I like having a plan…

Today Is a Brain Fart.

Well on the one hand, yesterday I started to feel like I was on break. On vacation (staycation…can’t afford to go anywhere). I felt less like school was hanging over me. On the other hand, I still don’t seem to be able to sleep at night. I can’t FALL asleep, even when it’s really late. The shower is dripping (fixing that soon), it’s too warm, animals are making noise, even the human ones, my brain is racing. That! That’s the real problem. I almost got up last night to meditate at like 1 AM. That might have been a smart thing to do. I’m feeling it today. Ugh. I’ve been exercising too, so that’s not helping either. It SHOULD help, but it’s not. Ugh. Always a work in progress. Until I die.

I’m glad the brain is trying to vacation though. It should bring me along.

So yesterday was this…

I don’t really need all that hair for summer. Some of my upkeep is going to require me to use a razor. I’m cool with that.

And then I quilted this for a bit until I got annoyed…

I got most of the way down one side. I’ll do more today. Maybe. I think I need more thread.

Then this guy was Way Too Close. Satchemo. I need to be able to breathe without cat hair going up my nose. His paw is reaching out to caress my cheek…

Because I’m not petting him. It’s not because he loves me. OK, maybe he loves me. But only because I pet him.

Then I set this up to sort all the pieces for the current quilt. There’s always a cat involved when I’m working on the light table…

This guy came to visit. Too big. Legs. Bug. Eeek.

Luckily he was on the outside of the window. We walked the dogs in there somewhere, and then I finished sorting…

Ate dinner and worked on these…I think I only have 5 left…of the red.

Which means 80 left of the other colors. But the embellishments are easier for those balls. Simpler. Less time-consuming. Maybe?

So hopefully it will go faster. And all those balls will get filled up and then I’ll sandwich it and put it away for three years before I quilt it. NO! Not that. I don’t know where I’m putting all these in the house anyway. They’re wonderful and brightly colored. They deserve to be hung. Maybe I’ll rotate them.

After all that, I eventually made my way into the office, cleaned up the mess, laid out the first 100 pieces, and started to iron. At 10:30 PM. Just like normal!

There are two figures hidden in the landscape…they’ll be more obvious when it’s ironed to a background and outline stitched…but I didn’t want them to be really really obvious.

I made it well into the 200s last night.

This part is usually really meditative. Not sure why my brain isn’t cooperating. Right now, I’m so incredibly tired. Ugh.

OK, this is funny. I got a phone call while writing this and then realized my meeting was at 11 AM, not 4 PM, so I kamikazed off to that and totally forgot about this. FUCK MY BRAIN. Seriously, it’s impaired. So it’s good I’m making decisions about wills right now, right? Yeah. Shut up. It’s fine. Gonna go paint some ceramics now. Can’t deal with the rest of anything.

Throw Down Your Umbilical Noose*

School’s officially out and I’m a little dazed and confused. The vaccine is also giving me really bad headaches, and the one this morning is not small or kind. It’s the Hulk with Thor’s hammer. It’s not helping.

It always takes me a while to sort of realize that it’s vacation and start relaxing. Looking at next week, there’s not a lot of relaxation that will be going on, but I will try. It will be easier when the vaccine stops fucking with me. The rash was bigger yesterday, so I took the prescribed Benadryl and basically passed out about 45 minutes later. Lost a couple hours there. I took another one at bedtime. This morning, the rash is still there, but splotchy and not as warm and tingly as before. I guess that’s a good thing, but I can’t really stay asleep all day. I feel drugged. Ugh. Maybe sleeping all day would be a good thing.

I was at school longer than I thought I’d be yesterday, and then I left food and milk in the fridge (ah, dumbassery), so I’ll need to go back on Monday and persuade someone to let me into the prep room that we just locked down for the summer so no innocent child can go in there and swig hydrochloric acid. Because I don’t want to come back to gross in the fridge.

When I came back home, even though I left her a treat ball (see in the top right?), Calli stress-ate the Tivo manual. Oh well…

She wasn’t in trouble for long…she’s a big dummy sometimes.

Then I blinked and looked over there and this one was snoring away. He’s the loudest of the bunch sometimes.

These hummingbird feathers were stuck to one of the feeders we have outside. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hummingbird feather.

You can’t tell here, but that green is iridescent, just like the birds.

Last night, I finally finished ironing all of the fabrics for the newest quilt…here’s all 120 of them…finally in color order, the way I like them.

It’s a full box. Lots of cutting in my future.

And at some point, my brain will catch up and respond to school being out.

Hopefully.

*Nirvana, Heart-Shaped Box

Start Me Off and Watch Me Go*

Hey. So it’s not REALLY summer vacation for a teacher until you check out of your classroom, which means you turned in or checked out all your technology, your keys, and your bloodborne-pathogen and first-aid kits, you’ve put your classroom in the order they want it to be in (depends on which administrator checks you out as to how much they micromanage the situation…that alone is a test of how many issues you might have with admin), you’ve counted all the books you don’t use any more because the standards changed and they’re totally useless but you still have to have one for every kid when the state comes calling to check you aren’t gypping parents out of a curriculum that is now at least 10 years old and completely out of date but your district has not approved moving forward with a current and useful adoption because they want us all to write our own curriculum, which some of us already have but we haven’t been paid for it assholes so there. Sigh. I don’t even know if that’s a sentence. Oh wait. It’s not. Oh well. I can’t remember…something about the official paper they have to sign that allows you to leave.

First we have a team meeting. I’m going to go buy a brain at the grocery store on the way to school so I have one for the meeting. Then I’m going to let it talk, because it’s just better that way.

Yesterday, we managed to get a lot done, despite the kids in our rooms. Then we had a lunch/drink thing at a local restaurant. Then I came home and read for a while and started messing with drawings. Because there’s a bunch of things that need to be done over the summer. And with my to-do list growing daily (add fix leaky shower valves and driver car window to the list of things I either need to do myself or find a professional to do), I need to get started on the art stuff. I’m known for being kinda spacey and unfocused the first week (sometimes two) after school ends for the summer…so don’t expect much. But I pulled the list of deadlines for the next 6 months, shows I want to enter, and started to prioritize. I also pulled the pile of already enlarged drawings off the piano (of course) and went through them. There were a bunch of smaller ones I really want to do, but do they meet any of those show deadlines? Of course not. Well…two of them might. This is a huge drawing that was supposed to be bigger…I thought about doing it as a triptych…but now I’m thinking I need to go the other direction. I like to do a really large quilt each summer. I use the big shows to give me an excuse to do it usually. I didn’t last summer, I don’t think…just did some other stuff. So this would be kind of an epic quilt. Because big…and…well…I’m thinking about what it says and why.

So I’m letting it percolate…it’s currently 67″ wide and about 28″ high. I would add to the height.

I just saw that my weird succulent is blooming again. It’s such a funky way to grow…but beautiful.

So my fever and fatigue from the shingles vaccine finally disappeared. I should tell you this is the new one, Shingrix. So you’re supposed to have a second shot 2-6 months later, and we were going to do it before school started again, but I emailed her last night because I got a rash from it Wednesday night…it’s warm and uncomfortable and my arm is painful like it’s badly bruised. Fun stuff.

So now we’re pushing the second shot out to 6 months and if it gets worse, I’m going to urgent care. So let’s hope it doesn’t. She suggested Benadryl, but that will make me fall asleep, so if I’m going to do that, it’s going to have to be later.

So after all that and actually eating dinner with vegetables! Because if there’s veggies, I need to cook them…I went in and ironed for 2 hours. Evidence that the fever and fatigue are gone: I can stand for 2 hours. Here’s the two hearts that are in the quilt…

I really try to place the pieces to use the smallest amount of fabric.

So in the middle of ironing, I hear Kitten scuffling in the towels down by the window (they cover the backs of my fabric boxes so there’s no light damage)…I don’t know if you can see what she’s excited about…

Look closely…I’ve seen one of these before. I don’t know if they come this color, because most of the ones I see are much darker…but I’ve seen a light-colored one like this before.

Albino gecko? Or just pale? Here’s no flash…he really was mostly white and pale beige though…

I rescued one from the pool a few years back.

Anyway. I ironed for two hours…here’s the pile to be cut out…

It’s a big pile.

Here’s what’s left…not much, but that was at midnight, and I still had to get up this morning. There’s a bird in there and a bunch of gingko leaves and some lungs. I think that’s it though…although I don’t know what that pile on the top left is…oh there’s a teacup too.

There’s gotta be a teacup. What am I drinking right now? Yeah. Here’s hoping I don’t have to get up really early during the summer (Jury Duty, I’m talking to you…because having to be downtown, parked, and in the courtroom dressed appropriately [there’s rules] by some early morning time is just cruel)…deep breaths.

And here’s all the fabrics I’ve used so far…lots! And totally out of color order at the moment.

I’m hoping to come home midday and finish the ironing…then deal with some of the stuff on the to-do list and start cutting pieces out. Ironing the whole thing together soon…next week? In between doctors and vet and everything else that ended up shoved into next week. Sigh. Still got at least three more things to shove somewhere.

Off to school though for the last time for hopefully 7 weeks or more…I need to come back in to put everything back the way we need it before school starts, but I don’t know when we’ll be allowed back in. Sigh. Not thinking about that right now.

*Caesars, Jerk It Out