Slow.

OK whoa Nelly. We made it. The 2023-2024 school year has ended. That’s 21.5 years of teaching in the bag. That’s 16 years at my current school. The last 5 have been rough. I keep hoping (because I am apparently eternally optimistic) that the next one will be better. The pro of this last year is that the kids weren’t too bad. There were a few issues, but nothing like the previous year. This last year was difficult for a lot of reasons, and not all of them were school-related. But it’s done! Woohoo! And I have absolutely no school stuff planned for the next 54 days. Well, that’s a lie. I have two possible meetings with my co-teacher who is coming back after a year. The weird shit that happens in life. May we both have a chill year. At least one. Part of one. Dammit.

Promotion and the day before were hot and sunny; I’m a little sunburnt, but mostly did OK with a hat and sunscreen. I did definitely feel off, whether dehydration or stopping all my supplements pre-surgery, I don’t know. I just know I don’t feel well right now. Exhaustion? Who knows. I took very few promotion photos, but this one, of one of our favorites from the last two years, giving a speech during promotion, while a bird happily chomped on a bug above his head.

So proud of that kid.

After promotion, I cleaned up my room and moved a bunch of shit. Then went to the end-of-year party, which my whole team didn’t go to (ugh). I didn’t feel well there either (heat? dehydration?)…drank lots of sparkling water and ate something. Then went to my stitching meeting…

These tails are time-consuming. But fun. Still felt like crap. Came home, didn’t eat dinner (ugh), and ironed for a while…

I actually need to use those same fabrics for a bunch of tree parts in the 1400s, and I didn’t have the energy to deal with that last night. Friday, I had to be up early and at the outpatient surgical center for injecting the radio transmitter thing that will help the surgeon on Monday find the lesion in my left breast. It was a lot of squishing. But relatively quick. I went straight to school after to check out, but realized I needed to move all the stuff in the prep room so they could do that floor as well. I wasn’t supposed to lift anything, but um, I did. Oh well. I wasn’t bleeding much so yeah.

They don’t tell you about all the marks that will be left…the biopsy mark is still there. Now there’s another one on the side. And a giant purple X where the radio thingie works. I’m sore today, but not too bad. I don’t know exactly where the scar will be or how big it will be, or whether there will be a dent forever or not. I don’t really care; strangely the marks freak me out more. They don’t really matter…what matters is whatever is in there needs to come out and it needs to be benign. The odds are on my side on that.

I needed a 2-hour nap yesterday after the procedure and checking out. I read one whole book, finished another one, and started a third. Mostly in waiting rooms. Had to take the dog to the vet too. So much waiting. This was in one of the books.

Interesting that the author said that about textile art. The author is Japanese and this is translated.

My zucchini plant is growing…

It’s finally gotten sunny during the day…here’s this morning…

I’m not a very serious vegetable gardener. But I do like to do it. I like to see things grow.

I’m currently watching a ceramics video in Spanish. I know, weird. I didn’t make it to ceramics yesterday; I’m going today. I’m allowed to hike and do pilates before surgery. After surgery, I need to wait a few days. No weightlifting. Which I did yesterday at school. It’s OK…I’m not doing it next week. Last night, we went and watched some friends play a one-off show.

This is them pretending to be Run DMC. It was a fun show, but I was exhausted and spacey afterwards. I went to bed without making art. Hopefully I can do some clay and fabric today without dealing with exhaustion. I have a hard time slowing down. I’ve already started moving furniture and stuff for carpet installation later. Not today…or if today, I’ll do the lighter stuff. Pack the quilts up. Pack up the tchotchkes. Not the heavy stuff. The boychild is working overtime the next two weeks, so he’s home less. Less help. It’s OK. I don’t have measurements yet; waiting on the carpet guy for that. Waiting on the glass installation. Waiting on the gutters. Waiting waiting waiting. As long as they aren’t here Monday. I’d like to recover from surgery without dealing with humans. Cranky. I am.

Anyway. I have 54 days…8 weeks. Minus a few days when I will have to do some planning. I’m not doing summer school. I’m not going to our summer academy to improve myself. I’m not taking any education-related classes or going to any education-related conferences. I am going to PIQF in July, I’m visiting my daughter in San Francisco, I might be camping (if the Man or I get our acts together), I’m definitely reading a million books, playing with clay, and making art quilts. Hopefully getting plenty of sleep (ha! but not Monday; because of the diabetes, I’m the first surgery of the day and have to be up at like 4:45 AM. UGH.). Right now, I need breakfast, more tea, a shower, some reading, still watching this video in Spanish (it’s a ceramic handbuilding conference online all weekend; it’s not ALL in Spanish), and trying to get my head around all the other shit I need to do. It usually takes 2 weeks before I feel OK again after school ends. And surgery isn’t going to help with that. Slow. Reading. Stitching.

I Might Say It Every Year…

OK. Two days. Two weird days. No teaching. Finally. No coming home and grading or lesson planning. That was nice. I stayed late on Monday and finished up the last of the grades, the sex-ed opt-out kid packets. Three kids didn’t turn them in, haven’t turned most of it in. Their attitude? They’re walking across the stage anyway…why do the work? Great attitudes. It’s OK. They’re not mine anymore. They’re going to high school. I get new problems. I already know about one of them, so that’s fun. But we get new ones every year…this will be the first year in a while that we don’t know anything about the kids coming up to us. I’ve had some of this year’s kids for three years…6th-grade art, then 7th-grade and 8th-grade science. Pros and cons to that. Realistically, if we request a kid NOT come to us next year, they’ll be going to our friends on the other team, so that seems shitty. Anyway. This kid, we’ve got no choice. I’ll worry about it later. Right now, I gotta get through the next few days, which are a little nuts. Too much shoved into the next 6 days.

I went to the ceramics studio on Monday. I had some leftover reclaimed clay from the sgraffito piece and the Man had requested some pots for his bog plants, so I used up almost all of what I had…

I am going to make the coil pot a little taller…I needed it to solidify a little. I’m probably going to do a little carving on them when I get to go in next…not entirely sure when that is. Not today…hopefully Friday? But maybe not. I don’t know. Saturday? They’re notoriously busy on Saturday. I don’t want to deal with a bunch of people. We’ll see. One of the tiles made it out of the glaze firing, but the other one is still on the rack.

Fabric choosing is still happening, super slowly.

Everything is just super complicated imagery that requires a lot of thought for just 10 or 20 pieces. Takes forever.

I’m in the 300s still. Got two figures done in the flesh; one still needs her clothing done. Kitten is my stalwart companion. Oh no, wait…I am in the 400s. More than halfway through them. Geez. I think the big figures will go faster…it takes the same amount of time to pick 5 or 6 fleshtones, but the pieces are bigger and there are more of them. So less choosing per number of pieces. That’s my theory anyway.

I am exhausted. I had to stop taking all my supplements, including the ones that help me sleep. Good week for that. Be real, though…the last week of school and two weeks after, it’s all recovery, sleep, etc. I remember last year that the Man was irritated by having to go to work in the morning as I went back to sleep. But the tables are turned now! I know he wants to go back to work and hopefully they’ll figure his back out or release the work restrictions so he can go back. But he doesn’t get to complain about my sleeping in.

Ah sigh. I wish that were true. This summer is chock full of shit I need to do. Starting with today. Keep cleaning my classroom. I got some done yesterday. I have a bunch of paper that needs recycling. I got my yardsticks back from the other science teacher, who is leaving. So we get to interview again. Fun times. We will be practicing promotion for at least two hours this morning. Then we get kids for maybe one period. I’m putting on a video. Then out to the carnival in the afternoon. We might actually have clouds all morning today and tomorrow. A girl can dream. Still need sunscreen and a hat, but it’s not as bad as the sun beating down on you. Pilates after school. Tomorrow, there’s a staff party but hardly anyone is going. My team is not. Sigh. Then I have a stitching meeting. Friday, we check out, but I have to have this radio transmitter thing injected into my boob for Monday’s surgery, so I’ll be late to school. Hopefully it won’t be too uncomfortable. We’re almost done. That’s a relief. It’s been a rough year. I probably said the same thing last year. I might say it every year.

Very Fine…

Hey. It’s the last Monday of this school year. We’ve got four days. Four days of utter chaos and mayhem, but four days nonetheless. I can do four days. I think. Actually, I do have to be there on Friday, but usually not for long. Weirdness is happening this year on Friday. Complicated.

ANYWAY. Today I teach STI prevention, although 1st period might be trickling in one kid at a time due to bad scheduling. Not mine. Tomorrow I teach goal setting, although again, 1st period might get screwed. Whatever. I wonder sometimes what non-teachers think we do after state testing. Because we have to do something or we have anarchy, and not in a good way. Wednesday is all promotion practice and carnival (hat and sunscreen), and Thursday is promotion (also hat and sunscreen). My grades are mostly done; I have 23 kids who are supposed to turn in two papers each today. We’ll see if they do. So I might just have to tweak their grades…but probably not. And I need to clean my classroom. Not entirely sure when that is happening. Normally it would be during my prep or while the kids were watching a movie, but with 8th grade, there’s less of both. I’ll probably get prep today, but maybe not Wednesday. Who knows.

So artwise, it might feel like I’m gearing up for summer enjoyment, and I am hoping to (a) get my sewing machine back this week and (b) to actually have more time to make art, but I also have a ton of house stuff to do…painting mostly. Moving stuff so we can install carpet. That’s overwhelming in itself. Claywise, I finally figured out which clear glaze I was gonna try on the tiles…

They’re going in the next glaze kiln…the second one, a kid had me sign their yearbook with a fingerprint drawing, and I had washed it off but only sort of, so when I went to rinse the tile, some of it came off in the background, so I ended up putting a wash over it. It needed the contrast anyway.

So we’ll see how they turn out. Then I did more underglazing on the winged woman…

Broke the damn snake head off again. I have a plan for fixing it…I think I just need to fire this thing and then move on.

Nice kitty.

The quilt in process (well, the third in process) is still being ironed to fabric…slowly. Friday night…

Still down in the grassy knoll. Then Saturday…

Got most of that done, and Sunday, I moved up the left side…

Didn’t quite finish ironing men’s white shirts (see Kitten asleep in the top left?). But I’ve made it into the 300s. I don’t think I’ll be done this week, but I might. We’ll see. It would be nice to be done before surgery so I could just sit on the couch, bingewatching something and cutting things out.

We hiked…

It’s still all about the flowers…

Ah cudweed…you make everything smell like maple syrup.

This is what grading looks like…

Thanks Nova. So much help.

This is what I think when all the rumors at the end of the school year are whirling around.

It’s not all about classroom management. There are some definite social and parental issues here. Sigh.

Probably not cannibalism. I’ll leave that to the rest of you.

I’m still working on Sue Spargo’s Homegrown…finally to the center square.

It’s coming along. There’s a lot of stitching on it. Well, supposed to be. Not so much at the moment. It felt weird yesterday actually having time to stitch and mop the kitchen floor (which was disgusting). I didn’t have to lesson plan or post a bunch of assignments. Kids don’t have computers after today unless they buy them (so again, wtf are we supposed to be doing with them?), so I can’t put any assignments on there. A relief really. No more of that for two months. Woohoo! Anyway. Close. Not there yet.

Had my brain scan on Saturday. Results sometime this week. That’s a bit stressful. What’s worse…they find something that explains the visual disturbances? Or they don’t find anything? Sigh. Probably the finding something is worse…so that’s a waiting game. Also I’m full of gadolinium now. I’m waiting for my super power to surface. I forgot drawing with dinner…

OK. School. Teach the things. Leave school and go play with clay. Come back, finish grades. Or finish grades, then clay? IDK. We’ll see. Then iron. No more grades after today. That’s fine. Very fine.

Fast at the End…

Whoa Nelly. It all goes fast at the end. Five days. Field trip today to Belmont Park. Grades due Tuesday. 23 sex-ed opt-out assignments get turned in Monday so I’ll have to grade those Monday afternoon. Room has to get ready for summer…thank goodness we don’t need to lock everything up because they aren’t using our rooms for fucking summer school. For once. But still, there’s a lot of moving that has to happen. I lose my prep today, so no time to do any of that. We come back from the field trip and just show movies…and hope for no ODs. I didn’t used to hope for that, because I didn’t expect to HAVE to, but now I hope for that. I often wonder what admin thinks of the last three weeks of school. Obviously they think we aren’t teaching anything, because they keep fucking with schedules, they tell us at the last minute that the kids will have no computers, etc. Like just whatever. Keep them in the classroom with nothing really to motivate them to do anything, then blame us for bad class management when these post-COVID kids with their permissive parents act up. Fuck that.

ANYWAY. I don’t have to teach today. That’s a plus. I’ll be patrolling bathrooms and hidden corners for the druggies. I might go on a roller coaster. Just one. Then come back, show a movie, and try to finish grading the piles on my floor and clean up a bit. Stand at the corner for duty and hope there isn’t a police-level fight like there was on Monday. Fun times. Then hopefully the surgeon will have figured out if I really need blood tests and how to put the damn orders in, so I can go BACK to the lab and have more blood drawn by an arrogant prick who literally blamed me for any bad draw in the last million years. I really did have fun yesterday afternoon. Then to ceramics! I got a glaze that should work on my sgraffito tiles, I’m hoping to get that crazy winged woman done, and then I can go back to the world figure I started ages ago and haven’t been able to work on because of other stuff.

I’m ironing, very slowly. It’s hard to pull my brain back from overwhelmed state long enough to manage it. Wednesday night was dirt and volcanic bits, plus bones…

Then last night was body bags. OK, that might have been part of the difficulty. I mean, no one wants to think about body bags, but the people in Gaza have been thinking about them way too much. And that problem still isn’t solved. Because humans and land and religion and power and politics and and and. Never a reason to kill children. Or anyone, for that matter.

Sigh. Well the pro is I don’t need any more blood drawn this week. He just messaged me. They might try to draw it the day of the surgery, when I haven’t drunk anything since I went to bed, so that’ll be fun for them. Not my problem. You know, last night, I went to the only pilates class I was able to get into this week and it was supposed to be an easy center and balance (and it was), but somehow I pulled a shoulder muscle and that doesn’t even seem fair. Everything hurts…but especially that. I can’t even think what I did to cause it. Some rainbow movement (pretend you’re a rainbow!). Sigh.

It’s going to take me a long time to iron everything to fabric for this quilt. It’s complicated and every complicated little bit requires thought, and I really don’t have a lot of spare brain power for that.

I appreciate this.

I also appreciate one girl’s drawing on her pregnancy packet…

Legit.

Found a barn owl feather in the yard.

They’re still out there. I hear them every night. No babes. Wah.

The Man is still enticing crows, now onto the deck. I guess he put the nuts away that were on the driveway because we had workers here, but the crow came and complained at him. So he put it on the deck. And now this ballsy rat is a fan.

Sigh. OK. I bought boxes so we can start boxing up books. To do the carpets in the hallway and all three bedrooms, we have to move all the things. I figure we box the books so the bookshelves can be easily moved. Get the girlchild’s room cleared out early. Move whatever we don’t need right now, stack it all in the living room as much as we can, so OMG I can’t believe how much house shit I need to do this summer. Please don’t ask me what exciting thing I’m doing this summer. The house stuff literally makes me wanna cry sometimes. This whole year. I’m just done. And it’s only June. OK. School. Gotta go in. Gotta go on this field trip. I love the nurse yesterday who’s like, “You have to take care of yourself too” and I’m like, “Welcome to teaching.” It’s an impossible balance. The plus is that it is Friday and the weekend is here, even though it’s a crazy busy weekend full of brain scan, grading, stained-glass window install (hopefully…because I don’t think everything is ready to go). I might get a hike and dinner out, but I’m not really in the mood for even that. It’s just easier than figuring anything else out. Yeah. School. Go. Go there. Do the things.

Last Minute

The number of reminders on my phone right now to remember to do all the things. A kid emailed me yesterday and asked which day I was grading things, and I answered ALL the days. I am getting close to done, though. Seven days. Seven days with one at Belmont Park on a field trip and one is graduation and one is graduation practice and a carnival. So actual teaching days? I have literacy stuff this morning, so half a day today, a whole day tomorrow, and two next week. But honestly, it’s not the teaching that’s the issue. It’s sex ed and that’s easy, although I’m not a fan of all of this curriculum and I wish I’d been able to give myself more time to teach it. I wrote a note in the calendar for next year. Because I don’t even remember what I did last year…the kids were telling me (the ones I had in 7th grade) and I’m like, big fat blank space where my brain was y’all. Sorry. I guess that’s a plus. Nah it’s all the adult crap…last-minute contracts for kids who don’t want to come to school any more, last-minute drop-a-new-kid-in-my-class…oh wait! No! He’s an opt out, but last minute, you have to add him to all the things and GRADE him, this kid who you will never see. And oh yeah, we’re gonna completely change the schedule at the last minute so you have to scramble to finish what’s already a tight finish. People are pissy. I’M pissy. I know I am. I sat in my room during prep yesterday after creating another last-minute thing and just tried not to cry. Because I’m overwhelmed. Texted my co-teacher who was at the zoo with my other work wife (they’ll be back in August…it’s OK) and they wanted to FaceTime me, but then I knew I’d cry. Sigh. Just need it to be done.

I watered my newly planted plants last night. It’s nice to see them grab hold of the dirt and start to grow on their own. I have more to plant…maybe Saturday. After my brain scan. Sounds delightful.

I am making art. I’m making lots of art. Just very slowly. I finally finished the sgraffito planter. Well…for some definition of ‘finished’.

I’m really happy with how it turned out. It’s fun. This is over 8 1/2 hours of creating so far though. So not fast. Maybe faster than a quilt? But now it has to dry, slowly, over a couple of weeks. Then bisque fire. Then decide if I’m going to put any glaze over it? Not sure. I have the two tiles still and I asked a bunch of questions on Monday of the more experienced potters, and got a name of a clear satin matte glaze that MIGHT work, but I’m going to try it out on the tiles first before I do anything to this one.

I almost forgot to do the eyebrow.

I love the hair.

Rainbows for Pride Month.

I’d do this type of thing again.

When I finished, I still had some time left before I needed to head for home. The winged woman piece has been drying for a while. I pulled her down at one point to fix some cracks. But I wasn’t sure how to glaze her. While I was in Maine, I would just let her percolate in my brain until I decided to do some underglazing first…

There will be more, but not a lot…

And then I’ll fire her, and then do an iron oxide after that. Hopefully she’ll survive the firing. That’s always the issue. If she didn’t, I’d probably try to build her again. It really is more about the process than the product for me. Don’t get me wrong…I love the product when it turns out, but the time spent building is what I like most. Same with quilts.

I’ve had this thing lying around since COVID.

Parts just need to be sewn down. Some more parts need to be added. I worked on it a little last night instead of grading.

Then I headed in for about 30 minutes of ironing. Hung up the HUGE drawing…

Made a video about it…practice for an Insta takeover I’m doing later this month.

Very rough and very squinty. Gotta work on that. Laid out the first 100 pieces…

Ironed the first few big ones…already pulling from the 100 and 200 bins. So logical numbering.

It’s a start. It’ll be browns tonight.

Here’s Simba on Monday night, very sleepy.

The owls are still here, they’re still going in and out of the owl box, which is a good sign that they haven’t given up on procreation. No baby sounds though.

Glad to see them still here. Late babies are fine by me. We’ve lost at least two that I know of. Sigh.

OK, to school for a meeting, then another meeting, then a free lunch (this is how they bribe us), then teaching in the afternoon, trying to get some of the packets recorded in the gradebook while they finish their stuff, then another meeting (at a restaurant with one drink and appetizers), and home to another meeting. WTF. So many meetings. Art in between. Book in between? Maybe. Maybe not. Yeah. I need the pillow fort.

Let’s Be Real…

Hey. Two more Mondays. Nine days. Panicking a bit about finishing grades on time, but with all the grading I did all weekend, I’m hoping I’m OK. I’m not taking any more late work, so that should help. One hopes. I still need sub plans for Wednesday morning, another literacy meeting that was incredibly poorly timed. Can’t have the swing sub teach sex ed, but I don’t have spare days, so I’m just gonna have to come up with magical things. The sex ed packets are too long for a normal period, and we have short classes today, so I’m gonna have to figure that out because they can’t do Wednesday’s thing without me if I can’t get through the two packets today and tomorrow. FUUCKKK. Not thinking about that. I’ll figure it out. By myself. Like all fucking year. We have a field trip Friday, and then we’re back for two periods…where I’ll be showing a video and hoping I don’t have another drug overdose in class because of the field trip. What are the odds? I mean, that would be USEFUL professional development. How to deal with overdoses, what to look for, what to do. Let’s be real here. I’m beyond cynical right now. One of the things we do with sex ed is a question box, and the first question I got in there, I had to call Child Protective Services. I was on hold from when I got to the ceramics studio on Friday, through 90 minutes of underglazing, the drive home, and 15 minutes at home with my book until they finally answered. Finished the report at 7 PM. And will anything happen? Well mine isn’t the first report, so there’s that. Disheartening. Extremely.

Ah well. Let’s start with the glazing…I’m almost done…

I did the reds, all the arteries, the heart, tongue, etc.

I also did the darker skin tones. I have a lot of clean up to do in the lines.

Fingernails…

And I started the hair. I got tired after about 90 minutes. I think I only have three colors left to do tonight. I knew CPS would pick up and I’d have to go outside and have this conversation, and I didn’t want to be that tired and still have to clean up after the conversation. So I didn’t finish Friday.

I graded Friday night, most of Saturday, and for about 5 hours on Sunday. Still not done! It’s all the fiddly last-minute redoes and late work that take for-freaking-ever to go through. The Man says I shouldn’t allow that, but I’m pro-growth-mindset. Learn from your mistakes. Figure out the right answers. I love the persistent kids. Well, some of them. Some of them don’t listen and keep submitting, even though they still haven’t read the comments or changed what they’re doing. And some use AI to help and it’s so freaking obvious…I mean, there’s not a lot of 8th graders at my school using the phrase “chronological constant”. I ran one through an AI detector just for fun. I mean, all I had to do was compare the first answer, which wasn’t bad, but was more kid-real language, to the second one, which read like a Wiki article. Sigh. I wrote both of them notes about the future. I doubt they’ll read them. Or listen. YES, I am in defeatist mode. Survival mode.

I also ironed things all weekend. Friday night, got to here.

Saturday night, all but the head…

Sunday night, did the head and ironed it to a background…

Hoping to see my sewing machine soon. We know a part arrived, but there was a medical emergency and we’re not sure if it got installed before that happened. It’s OK…I’m just going to start ironing the big quilt to fabric. I was ready to do that when I realized I had this one piled up too and it was easy enough to iron it together. Feels like a success. Progress. Looks nice. All that.

I had my quilt guild meeting Saturday…worked on her hair.

Slowest stitch ever. I also got a place to stay in Phoenix for QuiltCon 2025. Fun drive.

We hiked…

Babysat the ex’s dog again…

She’s constantly on the hunt. For animals.

It’s always nice to get outside in nature. I miss it. Want to do it more. Although apparently we discriminate against giraffes.

Doesn’t say if they must be leashed.

It’s not exactly a playdate because Simba is annoyed by her, but at least she gets some exercise and attention.

Saturday night, we tried some local breweries/wineries.

Just for something different. Felt bad for the band…there were only four people listening. Ouch.

And here’s where we’re at…

Although I definitely wasn’t smiling even that much.

OK, clay today, plus grading (you knew that was coming), plus starting to iron the next quilt to fabric. I’m tired. I’m done. Today I’m teaching pregnancy. The boys are notoriously stupid about this until I start talking about the financial responsibility of spilling sperm. Fun times.

To Get Me Through

Oh hello. Friday is here. I have very little of my voice…unfortunate, because the new sex ed curriculum is EVEN MORE talking than the old one. I’m depending on tea today, and hopefully I can find (and make work) my mic system. It’s fussy as shit, so I’m not confident it will work.

We have officially reached the time of the school year when you just do 10-hour days every day (10? Let’s see…left at 7:45 yesterday after sending three emails from home, probably started at 7 AM, and came home at 4:30 and then worked mostly until 9:30…yup) until you collapse and hopefully that’s graduation day. I’m not fully planned for next week. I need to grade three thousand things (that’s after grading a ton the last two nights). My house is a disaster. Fun times. I am going to the ceramics studio after school today. I went Tuesday, but just to make sure stuff wasn’t drying out. Tonight I’m going to do some underglazing on the sgraffito piece. Meditation. Before I come home and grade another three thousand things. Fun times. I keep saying that. I hate the end of the year. I really have not enjoyed this school year. I have a cart full of supplies from the other grade level who just dumped everything off, apparently for me to clean up and put away? I put away all the egg drop stuff yesterday. That was a fun thing though. We dropped 47 eggs and 7 survived.

Bethany did NOT survive.

I. Am. Overwhelmed. And the contractor and the stained-glass guy are both trying to schedule with me, and I’m like, y’all need to schedule with EACH OTHER. Leave me out. I can’t even answer the phone for 7 hours a day. Y’all are grown men. Figure it the fuck out.

Hopefully that works.

I’m ironing. It’s brainless at this point. That’s good, because so am I. Wednesday night…

Thursday night…

With Kitten hiding under the ironing board. IDK who the fuck numbered this thing (it was me), but the arm is on top and should be numbered after the torso (it’s not). So fussy. Who drew this thing (also me)??? I actually like it. It’s OK. I almost gave up when I got to the leaves though, and some of them need to overlap the heart, and it’s numbered higher, which it shouldn’t be. So I was obviously tired/out of it when I numbered it. Blame my school self for that. Suspect there’s another three nights of this…It’s actually pretty small. Still no sewing machine. I’m calling today. I know the part shipped. Insane.

The Man is still enticing crows.

And apparently other birds. OK. Teaching body image and decisionmaking today (ha! that last one.). Yesterday, we changed seats for sex ed. I let them pick one friend to sit with to help them feel comfortable, but these two boys (at two different tables) both were mouthing off about what SIDE of the table they needed to sit on, and I finally blew up, explained that they are constantly trying to interact with people across the room, so I made them face the other way so it would be incredibly uncomfortable for them to do so and obvious to me that they were doing it. I explained (rather loudly) that it was incredibly lame that I was having to babysit the behavior of kids going to high school in two months at that level, and if they kept arguing with me, they would be out. They shut up.

My patience is low, bottom of the barrel…with adults and children. Sorry. I’m doing my best. All the emails about how to redo things? Go look in your email. Stop asking me how to do it…it’s the same way we’ve been doing it all year. Follow the instructions I’ve said all year. In fact, if you were here last year, all three 7th-grade teachers, one of whom was me, also used the exact same instructions. Sigh. Double sigh. Fucking sigh.

OK. I’m walking dogs tomorrow at some point. I’m hopefully taking a break to go to my quilt guild meeting. I’m doing ceramics tonight. I’m ironing every night. I’m drinking chai tea because it makes me happy. I bought a piece of monkey bread from our student coffee store, to be delivered today during first period. A treat. To get me through.

Recovering Dammit…

OK. Made it home. It was questionable for a while, but it all happened. The girlchild is sick so I’m taking all my meds, hoping my middle-school-trained immune system is strong enough to counteract hanging in a car with her for hours plus all the other exposures, because surely, she got it from the same people we were all with all weekend. My first day back at school, I wrote 5 referrals for the kids who couldn’t figure out how to deal with a sub…kicked them out for the egg drop. Got pictures taken and labeled during class of the egg drop materials. Got kids through their assignments (it helps that I overthink every day…the pro of an anxious brain is that I plan a class period in my head about 700 times before I actually teach it. This is also a con.), got packets done for the sex-ed opt-out kids. Need to set up materials this morning for the egg drop; I have one set for each table, but need to be ready to swap out stuff if necessary. I had to sub my prep period yesterday, but luckily, it was mostly a good class and I was able to post the things I needed to and start the seating charts for sex ed. I let them pick one friend to sit with, but then, you know, not everyone picks each other and some kids don’t pick at all, and there’s always too many boys in my classes. I had to kamikaze to the dentist after school while calling pre-anesthesia to make an appointment for the REAL pre-anesthesia appointment, which is before the REAL anesthesia. Gotta make a list of all my meds and supplements. IDK why my surgeon doesn’t have access to the same list I have to review with my doc, but they don’t. It’s annoying. Then I went to the ceramics studio to make sure my stuff hadn’t dried out, picked up my glazed pot that I forgot to photograph and isn’t that exciting anyway, and then went to Costco for the eggs for today. Dropped those back at school in the fridge so I wouldn’t have to do that this morning. Realized as I got back into the car at 5:30 Pacific Coast Time that I was hella exhausted. Like bone-tired. Ah yes. Because it’s 8:30 PM East Coast Time and my body isn’t really sure which time it’s on. Came home, napped, laid around half-dead for a bit, got up, made dinner, made seating charts. It took a massive amount of willpower to not just go to bed, but to come in here and iron for 24 minutes.

Got the other side of Christmas lights done. From a week ago. It’s a start.

I stitched on the plane once I finished my book and my bullet journal for the week. I finished the last house block for Sue Spargo’s Homegrown…

While watching Barbie. It had its pros and cons.

And I started the centerpiece…

While watching the first half of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes or whatever that title actually is. I didn’t draw at all this weekend. Didn’t have the energy or the brainpower. I constantly have to explain why I stitch other people’s patterns when I’m sitting somewhere or traveling. Mine isn’t very travel-happy. I couldn’t have ironed anything on this trip. I have taken stuff to cut out before, but only when it’s at a very controllable stage. I won’t do it on a plane. Too much possibility of losing pieces. Everything I have going is at the ironing or stitchdown stage, so not portable. Plus I don’t have to think about this pattern at all. Someone else already thought it all out for me.

Kitten was glad to see me…

She didn’t eat much and wouldn’t take her meds while I was gone. She doesn’t do well at the moment when I leave. But she’s bouncing back.

This is one of Luna’s most commonly seen facial expressions…

Not sure what she saw (but I suspect it’s usually a demon behind me, based on how she looks).

The ex found a duckling…

It’s OK; he has since found the owner. Apparently another one is wandering around somewhere (not good…we have coyotes). Crazy times. My yard has had all the normal wild animals, plus a chicken, an elderly deaf and blind pug, an injured crow (my neighbor dealt with that), random dogs and cats, but no ducks. Yet.

OK. Well. Today I do 50 egg drops…well, just under that. Plus pilates, which my creaky post-travel body really needs, although after the 500 squat lunges I did a day going up and down the steps in that rental house, my knees are still complaining, but the muscles are fine. I still haven’t watered, so I need to do that tonight, plus take the trash out. And then start grading all the late work. With only 12 days of school left, everything gets rather panicky. Must do it all NOW. Hoping the sleep evens out soon, and the stress too. Too many health issues on top of all that. The next person who asks, “so what are doing this summer?” might get punched. RECOVERING DAMMIT…from a really tough year. Plus doing all the things I haven’t been doing. The floors are disgusting, there’s drawers and cupboards and parts of the house that need a ton of work. I need to paint at least one room and the hallway, plus all the carpet. I don’t want to think about the rest of it. We go back to school so early this year, it just sucks. Anyway. So I’m gonna think about that later, and make sure there’s plenty of hikes and ceramics and quilting and whatever else makes me feel better. And be hopeful about the medical stuff because it’s really stressful to think otherwise. Plus read a ton of books. Sound like a plan? And go see the girlchild in San Francisco. All good.

My Head Is Exploding…

OK. So I managed to do 70 trillion things yesterday to try to make sure I’m ready for ANYTHING: my sub for the next two days, missing my flight Monday afternoon (Alaska Air has already offered me money to switch my flight day, which does not bode well for getting home on time), running out of toilet paper here, the faucet that is failing, a shortage of cotton balls for next Wednesday’s lab…WHATEVER. I feel like my head is exploding. I even had all my breakfasts and lunches planned this week, and then my bosses fell through on today’s breakfast burrito and made it lunch instead…OK, so I have an extra lunch now. I’ll take one on the plane. But the point of the breakfast burrito is that I don’t have a prep during testing, so eating is more complicated on those days, so a solid breakfast helps. Cheerios isn’t gonna do it. Ah well. Roll with it.

I did get two days in the ceramics studio this week, mostly because I’m trying to finish the sgraffito piece so I can work on the OTHER piece…there’s no room on my shelf at the moment. Plus I wanted to make sure all the paper towels were damp for the week I won’t be in there.

So here’s Monday’s progress…all the blues…

Then yesterday, I did the flesh color…

Sorry about all the talking. I forget that people are in the studio while I’m working. Then I add music before I post on Insta, but forget that I would need to download that version. So you get random studio conversations. Ugh. Monday, there was no one else there. It was delightful. Tuesday was busy.

I need some shades of flesh for all the bits I didn’t do. And I realized I should have done the teeth when I did the other whites. Ah well.

And some of the raindrops need touchup.

No clue what I’m going to do with her hair. Definitely red arteries and heart and probably nails.

It’s definitely fun. It’s basically drawing and coloring. On a curvy thing.

So there’s that. Maybe finished mid-June (or 2025…whichever seems more reasonable). No, I need to finish so I can work on the other one.

The cloud/grass planter went into the bisque fire yesterday. That was fast! I’m close to putting the winged creature in for a bisque fire too. Soon. I probably need help with that. The shelf isn’t big enough for me to just put her there.

I’m also doing quilt stuff. Have not stopped that. It’s my late-night art. So really, I’m just doubling up some days. I sorted all the Wonder Under (in two nights) for the new big quilt…

And then realized I had never ironed the last little one together and it’s taking up space in the office. I know it won’t take long, so I’m just doing it.

I cleaned up first, then started setting stuff out. I love this part of quiltmaking, when all the colors come together. I’m going to have so much sewing to do when I get my machine back. Good times.

The Man is trying to make friends with crows.

This one wouldn’t get out of my way when I was trying to go to work yesterday. There are two hanging around. He is just feeding them at the moment…not sure when they start bringing us people’s jewelry, but I think it’s soon.

The proteas are still fascinating…

OK, state science testing is today. I’m a little freaked out by the next 24 hours, but I’m sure I’ll survive. I need to come home and do laundry (after pilates and during book club, apparently), pack, make sure I’m ready because tomorrow is an early start. Gonna be a long day. But we’ll be with family at the end of it, so that’ll be cool. Looking forward to seeing my niece graduate. Yay for her!

How to Do Things…

Oh hey. Apparently I missed Wednesday. What did I do Wednesday? Talked to someone who is going to stabilize the stained glass near my front door (it’s big, it’s old, it needs help). Went to the ceramics studio and forgot to take pictures. Remembered why I like going places late at night so no one will talk to me. Why do older men always wanna tell you how to do things. And then they say, “I don’t want to tell you how to do it” as they go on and tell you how to do it. Sometimes that’s helpful, but dude, see the airpod in my ear? Only one, because I’m female and we don’t feel safe with both in? Well maybe I’m bringing both next time. Graded some stuff. Went to pilates. It was a pretty chill day, honestly; so chill, I forgot to write. I don’t do well without routines. Well, let’s put it this way, I use routines to get shit done. And sometimes I ignore all that and get nothing done. I did finish my book actually, so that’s a thing.

OK. So I’m officially panicking about school again, because yesterday did not feel productive except in the plant-buying department, and now I have to plant them, so that’s on today and tomorrow’s list. The buying has been on the list for over a year, so I’m doing well. And I didn’t get two I needed. Also doing well. But I finally got down to Native West Nursery, which is all California natives…think the stuff you see when you go hiking. So I picked up some native ceanothus and some other fun stuff that should appreciate my slope. And maybe then I can stare at the chain-link fence less and butterflies more. That’s my plan anyway.

The Little Barn is the retail section; it has native seeds too, but I was afraid of the checkout bill if I looked there too. So I didn’t look. So I can go back. Limited hours though.

That was yesterday…all the errands I never get to. I went to Freeform Clay in National City, because they’re not even open on the weekend, and I needed glazes. Buying them online just seems weird. So I did it in person. Hopefully I did a good job. So many decisions. I don’t have room on my shelf at the studio for them, so I will have to do what I see other people doing: carrying in boxes of stuff. It’s not like I’ll be glazing every time I go in. I did take one picture on Monday or Tuesday, whenever I went in before…

But now one arm is attached, the other hand has an arm, there’s another bug on the torso. So many changes. I was going to go in yesterday evening, but I was tired from all the driving around San Diego County, and then school whacked me upside the head. Fucking A. That will be the next 10 weeks. Begging for time for art. Anyway, hopefully today, I’ll get the other arm on and decide about head and heart. Probably need shoulders first. I can only build for about an hour before I have to let it harden up. I made a pot on Wednesday too, because I wanted to try it. This sculptural piece actually started as a mug that went wrong. I do want to make a mug, and that was the plan, but that new one would have been way too big…like think about pouring the whole teapot in and having to boil more. So it became a pot. For plants. I need to decorate it. I can still make a mug, although I’m running out of shelf space. Finish the pot, keep going on the sculpture, then make a mug. I can do all the things. I figure an average sculpture for me will take all month to build if I’m back at school. Two days a week. It’s OK. I’m going to be OK with it. I knew the next 2 1/2 months would be hard.

In art quilt news, I’m still missing a sewing machine. I called yesterday; they said ‘soon’. I’m like, ‘how soon’? No answer there. It’s fine. If it gets to next weekend and I don’t have it, I’ll go over to mom’s and use hers for the thing that needs to be done by the following weekend. With binding. It’s small. I’ll be fine. Although I should think about binding fabric today or tomorrow. Next weekend just got more busy with family coming to town. This weekend…I was going to go to my guild meeting, but the FEMA inspector is coming by. Hopefully with a check. OK, that’s not how it works, but I’m hopeful. Anything to make up the shortfall to pay for the carpet would be nice. I also need to finish my taxes so I know how much I owe. I’ve been slogging through the data on that. I’m getting there. Slowly.

But I am working on the third unfinished quilt for this Spring…I started ironing onto fabric Monday night…

Then Tuesday was a clusterfuck of doctor’s appointments (meeting with surgeon in late April, thing in eye is not discernable by anyone but my brain) and an opening of Trauma at the Hyde Gallery at Grossmont College…this is my piece Doctor’s Orders…

And me with my eyes dilated, trying not to squint too badly. Woo! Not a way to see an art exhibit, by the way. The show is up through April 18. It’s a college, so the hours are during the week.

Back home to iron more things…all the flesh. Side-eye provided by Kitten…

Stayed up late to do that. Like you do.

This is all that’s left after that, all the non-flesh, non-background things. It doesn’t look like much, but it took two nights to get through it…

Heart, cat, trees, etc. There’s everything used by Tuesday bedtime.

Then Wednesday…

More color!

Then last night, I finished it off…

A closeup of the pile that now needs trimming…

It took 6 1/2 hours to pick the fabrics…

Only 71 fabrics…and a cat head. In case you think there’s ever a time Kitten is not in the room with me. She’s here. Old and decrepit, sometimes smelly, skinny, needs pets. But here.

So tonight, I’ll start trimming.

I trimmed three trashcans worth of yard stuff Monday and Wednesday…found this…

Totally molded on those branches. I always feel bad removing them, but that plant needed major trimming. NEEDS. I didn’t finish. Maybe not today, because rain. Plus planting supersedes trimming. Also found this…

Looks like some predator bird lost hold of dinner. Sorry. I popped it off the branch and into the undergrowth for some small thing to eat. Ew gross though. Aged alligator lizard.

Some other notes. The Man. Asleep. But the sisters are being nice to each other!

Nova usually gets kicked off the bed by Luna, because Luna is a jealous asshole. But this went on nearly all day.

I trimmed the ferns and found a bunch of freesias underneath, and now they’re blooming, which is lovely.

I love freesias.

And this is my school self, lurking in the back of my head.

I know going back is going to be hard. But at least there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Speaking of light, there’s a thunderstorm that just popped up over us. Super dark and rumbly. Probably not a good time to go out and plant. It’s OK. I need to write warmups and posts for next week. And finish my taxes. And plant 11 things. And go do some ceramics. JAYSUS. That was thunder of the crashing type. Not so rumbly. OK. Maybe gonna unplug the computer. Make another cup of tea? Not a driving day today then. School? Ugh. I’ve worked almost every day on school stuff over break. Never done. We were supposed to go on more hikes and maybe a trip to a winery. None of that happened. Oh well. It is what it is. Survival mode again. Still need to go in and copy one thing for Monday. Not gonna wait until Monday and fight the copy hordes.

Here’s owl video…I’ve been hearing a baby at night…

And then it started hailing here…

Always fun.

Fun start to the day. Certainly makes you mentally redo your to-do list. Maybe that’s a good thing?