The Right Headspace…

I’m up early. First day of training today. Training? I’ve spent a lot of mental space being irritated at needing 12 hours of training about teaching sex ed after 20 years of teaching it. And Friday’s ginormous conference when I really need time in my classroom. It doesn’t matter if I fret over it…I still have to do it, although one of my co-teachers yesterday suggested we take a sick day on Friday to miss the conference and then spend it in our classrooms, setting up, as a protest. Yeah. It would be a better use of my time. That said, I will have to spend some time at school this weekend, no matter what, so I’m getting my head around that as well. It will be air conditioned, unlike my house, so that will be the plus. Supposed to be hot this weekend…and today. Ugh. OK. Air conditioning today, as well, but also stuck in a chair for 6 hours, being fed unknown food (one of the things I dislike as a diabetic…not knowing where my next meal comes from or what it is), probably gonna have to do some role playing, so not in the mood. Such a positive attitude! I love the kid-learning part of my job. There are some parts I really dislike: multiple-day group trainings that are redundant, team-building exercises, rah-rah stuff that is supposed to get me all excited. Give me time to get ready. Give me the mental space for that. Introverts teach too, y’all.

Anyway. I’m also mourning the lack of time to make art that is coming as well. I will be glad to get paid though…which doesn’t happen for three more weeks. It’s been a financially long summer and I’m ready for that to ease up. The Man got a job! This should also help with money worries, significantly. All good. He hasn’t actually walked out the door and driven there yet and spent all day working and come back, but this is happening! So glad.

So my summer to-do list was crap. Well, I didn’t do much of it, for sure. Some summers I rock; some I don’t. To my credit, I did two book jobs this summer, one copyediting and one I’m still proofreading (almost done). So that didn’t help. I’m still trudging along on the new quilt, hoping I can meet the deadline (ironing when it’s hot out is difficult). The first thing I did was clean up. I forgot to take the requisite picture of all the fabric I needed to put away, piled up by color. But I did that. AND I cleaned the floor in here (that won’t happen again until probably Winter Break, realistically). And then I cleared out the Pile of Lost Pieces…

These are either pieces I lost and had already recut (they were put in the wrong bin, probably) or recut for color reasons (the little person shape and the big one at the bottom…both out of the wrong fabric color). I save them, just in case…but really, what for? So I cleaned that out.

Throwing things away is not my strong point. I also cleaned up the top of the washing machine, which had become a repository for shit, including all the big dog’s stuff from when she died in November (teaching kicks your ass cleaning-house-wise, man).

Then I sorted all the pieces after dinner…

Took me about an hour and a half.

Then I hung the drawing in my studio and set it up for ironing…

It’s not a large room and there are three tables and three bookshelves in here, not to mention lots of fabric storage. It’s a tight fit sometimes.

I started ironing to fabric on Monday night…

Honestly, it’s been a slow start…probably because I’m starting with three people and they all have a different run of fabric, which is a lot of choosing and making sense in the beginning. It takes me a while to get in the right headspace to pick fabrics.

Last night, I got through most of the three figures…just some eyeballs (missing one iris piece) and hair to go, and then I move on to the water, I think. There might be some fleshy bits on the big figure first. I won’t get to that until after dinner tonight, unfortunately. My goal is to be completely ironed by the end of this weekend. IDK if I can get there. It’s really hard to iron during the day when it’s hot in here. I get dizzy sometimes…there’s not a lot of air flow in here, so then I have to go sit under a fan (I run a fan in here but below the ironing board because otherwise the Wonder Under pieces would be flying all over, like a WU tornado, which would be problematic for losing pieces) and drink cold water and basically act like a fainting woman from Victorian times, but without a corset and big petticoats. I’m having an issue wearing pants and a bra today for the training…it’s too hot here for that level of clothing right now. I’ve been living in shorts and tank tops and that’s about it.

Ah well. I will iron tonight and it will be cooler then. I will also get rid of the hot clothing by then.

Monday night, we were visited by a beautiful moth…Kitten was fascinated…

So fascinated, she got her claw stuck in the screen. I think one of the other cats might have gone THROUGH the screen if they’d seen that.

And then last night, one of my babies came back to visit me!

The tree outside my studio. How do I know it’s one of the babies? Vocalizations are still very juvenile-like, feed-me sounds, instead of the single screech we get out of the parents. Also, it froze when I went out there. The adults just fly away. I was so happy to see it. I talked to it. It hung out for a while, because it was still out there, screeching away, when I went to bed. Big smiles. I know one is OK. (I also know it didn’t come back to see me…it’s OK…I’m probably pretty terrifying to a young owl.)

Got this picture from the boychild from last week’s fire near Yosemite…

He’s down near the bottom. That is one nasty slope. Glad it’s him and not me. I just deal with teenagers (and today, adults).

OK. So ‘learn’ sex ed today (I’ll let you know what’s changed since 7 years ago, the last training…actually, I don’t even think it’s been that long), go to an exercise class, I stupidly signed up to cook tonight (well I have to do it sometime), then ironing more body parts. All good. I think I get to do the Statue of Liberty next. I did her torch already. Will adjust mindset as I go.

Space for My Self…

I have two days of summer left. Then hours of training and prep and then we teach. We teach a lot. Not ready. Never ready. I think I could finally be in my classroom tomorrow. Maybe. But that would mean spending the last day of summer in there, and that seems like a bad plan mentally. Some wonder why I keep doing a job that causes so much stress; I probably don’t write enough about the amazing stuff, the thinking and learning and aha moments that happen in the classroom. The kids…the ones you get to, not the ones that drive you bonkers (although sometimes those end up being the same kids). Also, I hate to be bored, and it’s hard to be bored in this job, unless you’re in a staff meeting or professional development…sad, but true that those are mostly boring. I got through all four hours of online training. Also boring. Very repetitive and some of the questions are badly written. But it’s done. This week is two days of sex-ed training (yeah, really) and one day of district-wide meeting (ugh, lots of rah rah and whatever they think is important…last year was a hotel owner trying to tell us how to treat our customers…kind of irrelevant, but they hammered it all year, so I guess they thought it was important). I don’t mind an inspirational speaker…sometimes they are…I worry about the additional focus/work they want to throw at us. I don’t have it in me. My fault for working a goodly chunk of the summer…I had to, to pay the bills.

Anyway. It’s a start. Stop worrying about it and just do it. Find space for my self in between the work. That’s always the biggest challenge.

It’s been hot here, so quiltmaking has required a fan. I finished tracing the Wonder Under on Friday…

No help from Kitten there. Eight yards of Wonder Under approximately…

Almost 19 hours of tracing. Then I went to watch the Man play a show at the park…

Lots of little kids dancing, which is always funny to watch…

I drew a little…

I think there’s another drawing too. Didn’t take a picture of it.

Then Saturday, I started cutting out the Wonder Under…

I started at my quilt guild meeting, then came home and sat myself down with a fan blowing directly on me and started cutting. Bingewatching too.

The Man and I took a break; we’re dining out at fast-food restaurants until he gets a job (this was a particularly expensive fast-food place, if you ask me), but there was a lovely sunset going on…

Not sure I’d go back for the food though. It was OK, but expensive.

I cut a lot over the weekend…in fact, I cut all of it out in 9 hours and 20 minutes.

Later today, I’ll sort it into boxes by 100s, clean my office so I have room to start ironing, and then start picking fabrics. My goal is to have it all picked this week and hopefully start cutting. It should be about 18-20 hours to pick fabrics, so having three days of training and meetings is not particularly helpful. I hate sitting through meetings without something to do with my hands. It helps me think…but teacher trainers tend to think we’re not paying attention if we’re drawing or stitching or knitting or whatever. Which is idiotic. But hey, whatever. So I’ll need to get all that done AROUND the training stuff. PLUS get my room set up. Ha! There’s not much time for that next week. We have two days to prep, which would be enough if I didn’t have multiple meetings and an orientation (that’s new) that I have to attend. So probably I will need to go in over the weekend. Unpaid. We’ll see.

I’m also trying to finish the proofreading; I finished one readthrough and a check for headings, so now I’m on the second readthrough, which should be faster. I want it done before we go back to school. I’m motivated.

I got the photos back for the most recent piece, titled The Way Out…

And found out last night it will be at the PHES Gallery as part of the Feminist Image Group’s exhibit Portals, opening September 11. The opening will be 2-5 PM on the 11th; hope to see you there. (51 ¼” w x 80 ½” h, $5997)

It’s nice to make something for a show and have it get in. So often, it doesn’t, which is fine…then I still have a piece I can show elsewhere. But it’s nice when it works.

Lots of cat action…best use of the exercise bike at the moment…

Kitten turned 14 last Thursday. She goes to the vet today for more tests. We have a definite gastro issue, but hopefully can just medicate. Been trying to keep her on food she doesn’t really like with a baby appetite.

I’m not sure the heat helps. She sleeps a lot. But she still races around sometimes like the kittens (who are going to be three this September and are definitely not kittens any more).

Nova begging for pets.

Her sister doesn’t like her any more for some reason. Sigh. Ah well. They all know how to get attention from us.

In barn owl news, the babies are gone…totally all of a sudden. On Thursday night, they were squawking out there all night like normal, and then Friday night, there was nothing. Saturday night, we heard a few screeches, but adult sounds, not the babies. Same with last night. I read online that the parents often chase them out, especially mom, when they are old enough to get food on their own. I’m hoping that’s what happened and not that a neighbor got annoyed and did something. It’s so weird…having seen and heard them so many nights to suddenly have them gone. I’m kind of verklempt. The last videos we have look like the adult checking inside the owl box (which I never saw the kidlets go in and out of) and swooping around. The night before, kids doing all the things.

OK, maybe a lot verklempt. Miss those annoying squawkers. In November or December, we’ll pull the box down and clean it out. Then hope for someone to come back next year…they should.

Right now, I’m locked in my office with Kitten and Simba while the Man does some online interviews. It’s warm in here and I need breakfast and a shower. Plus some proofreading time. I may just wait until he gets through all his stuff. I think there’s a phone interview after this. Stressful for all of us. Well, except Kitten. She’s sleeping through it all. So proofread…then clean in here. Then sort all the Wonder Under, pick a background fabric, and start ironing. Somewhere in there, go to the vet, plus make dinner. Not bad for a summer day.

Adding to the Totals…

Today is officially the first day I usually think actively about going back to school. This year has been a clusterfuck for that. August 1 is also usually the day when I realize I’m going back to school soon and I blow off everything on the to-do list except art, because I realize how limited my time will be for that once school starts. It’s an odd place to be, mentally. Plus this year, I’m proofreading a book right now in the middle of that, and it’s something I want done before we go back. It takes time, though. So a little of that every day and a little of the to-do list every day and a little art every day.

I finished drawing the newest one…

Nice arm shadow there…taking pictures late at night on the floor. While I was trying to draw the last bit, Kitten gave it butt approval…

Then I numbered it…

I really tried to keep this simple. There’s so many things and details I didn’t add.

But then I covered two giant heads with words. I considered screenprinting them, but setting up a screen and getting that done in summer heat seemed like it would take longer than this. I’ve made quilts/fabric art in many different ways. For whatever reason, this method works the best for me. But simple? Not so much at 1359 pieces…

Could be worse, I guess. I do need to buy more Wonder Under today. Running low. Probably don’t have enough to finish this. I started tracing on Saturday, in between proofreading…

I’ve got over 3 hours in and hit the 300s last night. Not bad. Could be better.

Today, I’m finishing the quilting on the bed quilt…

We got to the bottom, but there are some areas near the top that need fill in, so that’s today. Then pull it off and put a binding on it! A miracle.

We had dinner at the parentals last night…girlchild cooked, which is always good…

I stitched a tiny bit on a Homegrown block that seems to never get done…

This week is the last full week of Summer Break. Sad but true. Next week is training and a super-spreader event. Should be painful. My desk here in the office still isn’t clean. I didn’t paint the hallway. My classroom is still having floors done so I can’t do anything in there. I have a preliminary calendar for the first few days of school for 8th grade; 7th grade is pretty stellar though. I did not clean out my closet. I didn’t plant the slope toward the neighbor’s house. I got some of the palm tree stuff off the backyard slope, but there’s a ton more. The trees are not trimmed. I did not clean out the garage. I did not get enough sleep. I didn’t exercise enough.

I did read 9 books. I did spend 116 hours doing most art (but some proofreading and copyediting in there). I finished one quilt. Not bad. I have a few more days to add to those totals. I seem to appreciate those last days as much as the first few…

Loading and Filling…

I spent a chunk of time on Etsy yesterday trying to get 8 new pieces on there. They are all pre-COVID pieces; they just needed to be mounted in a way that made them able to hang. You can find these on Etsy.

My friend Susan talked to me and crafted (she was supposed to be cleaning…but I think we’re always supposed to be cleaning when we craft unfortunately). Plus Kitten was trying to help me do the computer stuff…not.

I’ve been drawing every night…after doing other stuff during the day. Drawing brain seems to prefer nighttime.

I knew there would be swallowing heads in here…kind of a symbol for anxiety or being swallowed by society or government or a political party that doesn’t like women except when they do like them (pussies and pregnancy yes, autonomy and rights no)

I didn’t realize until the middle of the night while trying to sleep that the heads would be filled with words. And then I tried drawing that bottom left bit about 4 times and finally cut that section out and taped a new piece in. I’ll try the redraw tonight…and then it might be done.

Then I can start numbering.

We’re still quilting this beast. And the machine is still possessed. Plus we need to replace some O rings.

More signs of demonic possession.

Kitten is wherever I am.

Simba misses the boychild but appreciates his elephant.

I started this at home and have been trying to write while being at mom’s with the quilting machine. We got to the bottom and have to go back to the top to fill in some wide apart areas we had in the beginning. Not today. Gotta go proofread some stuff, ship one quilt, and deliver another. All good.

In the Way…

So all that jury duty anxiety and I never had to go in. Hallelujah. I could do without the anxiety though. Tell my brain that.

I managed to get the quilt stitched down in the last two days…

It’s true that I didn’t do much else.

I don’t feel like I’m getting much done this summer unfortunately. It’s not over yet, but I still feel burnt out and flaily. Sure that’s a word. Flail-like? Flailable? Hmmm. I also pieced a backing last night after my stitching meeting…

Plus I washed and cut the batting to size. Then this morning, I cleaned the floor and as soon as it dries, I’m pinbasting this quilt. Then we’re packing up, going to the store, and leaving for a weekend in the mountains. It will still be hot there, true, but the Airbnb has A/C, unlike here. We’re going to attempt hiking (the Man’s toe is still an issue). I think every weekend after this one has either a meeting/event for me or a show/event for him…until September some time.

I did spend some time at my mom’s yesterday picking a pattern for using on the short arm to quilt the bed quilt and then practicing it, stitching it out, nesting the one below into the one above, trying to read a manual that was written in Greek. It took a while to get the thread to stop breaking…and to figure out how to make it go. Next Tuesday, we’ll try again with the real thing. No jury duty call-ins, so that will help actually plan shit. Which would be nice. I think the courts need to lose my address.

Here’s Kitten, in the way, her favorite thing to be…

Which reminds me, I have one more book of science homework to scan/find online before Monday. I might need to do that today also. On top of everything else? Eh. Maybe.

But for now, the floor is dry, so I’m going to pinbaste the quilt. Although I think there is now a dog in the way. My theme for the day apparently. I need it quilted and bound by next Saturday! (oh my). Then shower and packing and go get gas and food and escape to somewhere where there are not so many chores to do. I’m taking my sketchbook too, since we have not had a lot of interaction in the last month or more. I need to fix that. Nice to have a weekend to hopefully do that.

So Off…

I’m so off. On days. On writing. On sleep. I guess that’s a good thing. Losing track of time is a positive part of summer. Mostly. Until you realize there was something you were supposed to do. Whoops! I’m doing my best, y’all. It doesn’t help that I’m having to check in every night about jury duty and then replan my day based on being free. Or not. So far…free is good. Trying to take advantage of it and not get so irritated by all the school stuff that intrudes. I realize I could ignore all that work email, but I think that ramps my anxiety even more…wondering what might be there or not. I know the other night, I lay there, hot, meditated, ready to sleep but brain definitely not, wrote an entire agenda in my head, considered texting my co-teacher (totally not doing that…she’s way better at the boundary between work and home than I am and I’m not fucking up HER summer for MY brain), then worried about other shit. Then made a goal to do art things the next day, which I followed through on, which is why there’s no Wednesday blogpost this week. Ah well. The earth continues to turn on its axis. I wish I understood how and why that happens, though, because I’m gonna have to teach that shit or something related to it this coming year. Occasionally I read a page or two about energy because I started the force and motion book and realized I needed to do energy before that. Still don’t have a good space science book. I think I need a comic book for it. That might be the only way it gets into my head in time. VISUAL LEARNER HERE.

Anyway. So I’m trying. That’s all I ever do.

The bed quilt is in progress. The borders are on and now the backing is pieced.

Oh my, that’s bright. But I didn’t have to buy anything because I bought it in 2008. Yay me! Thinking ahead. I’m waiting for the batting (which I did have to buy) and then I’ll learn the short-arm stuff at mom’s house.

Meanwhile, because sometimes I loan my computer out to people (well, just one person), I needed to have a project for the living room as well as one for my office. NO DOWN TIME ON ARTMAKING. Or something. When I’m in the mood. Which I am. So I had this drawing from November 2021 that I did on a semi-retreat with one of my art groups in 29 Palms. And I started trying to draw where my head is at with the Supreme Court and Roe and all the other stuff, realizing that many people already deal more head on with discrimination than I ever have to, plus climate change and that damn shooting in Highland Park. The 8-year-old who is now paralyzed. The 2-year-old who lost both parents. The dad of the shooter saying he’s not responsible. OMFG. I started to tear up, so away from the news and back in here. ANYWAY. The drawing isn’t right for all this, but it’s a start. Really this is an anxiety/world situation quilt because that’s what I need right now. I made the Roe v Wade quilt earlier this year. I didn’t want to make another. I couldn’t make another. So I started with that November drawing and blew it up 250% and started cutting and taping it together last night. Well, first I let Luna play with it a bit…

She’s not helpful at all. Then I cut and taped…

It’s a really busy drawing, though, and not all of it is relevant to what I want this quilt to do/be, so I decided to trace what worked onto a new paper…

And then change as I go. Or add, because I made it taller. A little wider, but mostly taller.

So you can see where I’m changing some stuff and not other stuff. Leaving some out. I’ll add more stuff too. Expect it to take a while. But that’s OK, because in the other room, I’m finally ironing the other quilt together!

I don’t usually work on more than one at a time, but desperate times call for desperate measures? OK, it’s not like I’m desperate to make quilts. I just want things to work on in two different rooms and this solves that problem. I feel like I might finally be on an art roll for summer. Except for jury duty. I’ve been lucky the last three days…may it continue for six more. The whole process of not knowing just makes me anxious. I’m a mess. I hate the not knowing. I’ve probably said that before, but it’s supremely true. About all of it.

Anyway, I’m also doing bits and pieces of work stuff, mostly just finding all the homework possibilities and getting them in our shared drives so they are easy to find. It’s all I can handle really. Occasionally reading a bit about science-related stuff that I might need to know. Having random panic attacks about things I can’t control like 2 days of professional development about stuff I already know. Ah yes. Stupid that.

OK, so it’s late Thursday and I finally wrote something. It’s a miracle! Now I can iron or draw for a while. I should check the to-do list first, just in case. Or read a chapter of my book…now there’s something that sounds reasonable. Reading is something I do a LOT of over breaks…and I’m glad to keep doing more of that.

Finally Felt…

I’ve been copyediting all week; I finished yesterday. I also finally felt like I was on break last night. Finally felt like I might have had a decent amount of sleep (until I stayed up too late last night and was still awakened by the world this morning…although hallelujah, I think the neighbors are done giving swimming lessons to everyone and their mother…BUBBLES! YAY!). Finally felt like everything wasn’t hanging over me. Well, that was temporary. I looked at my to-do list briefly this morning and there are still a million things on it. As always. Finally felt like I could do something besides work.

I finished ironing everything on the current quilt to fabric Wednesday night…just short of 22 hours to pick fabrics for 1100 or so pieces. Not fast at all. Fucking slow as hell.

But here’s part of the why…

171 different fabrics. I’m not sure why, but I needed a ton of different fabrics to make this quilt. Lots of fussy little vignettes in it, I think. Not sure. But that’s a lot of fabrics for only 1100 pieces. I know. I said ‘only’, but I’ve made quilts with lots more. It seems like there are certain things that up the time: lots of little tiny pieces, lots of fabrics, lots of differently colored things going on. Yeah. Well.

I started cutting pieces out a week ago…and then last night, I did about 3 hours of it…

And got really close to done. You can see the bottom of the box there, but there are still a lot of pieces left. At least an hour’s worth…I’ve been trimming for 11 1/2 hours, so that’s not bad. I leave some of the tiny pieces for later. But I’m hoping to be done today with this part, then sorting, and start ironing together this weekend.

I’ve also been trying to finish some stuff from the last three years…just get them done and on Etsy, where they will languish forever because it took too much time to make them so they are too expensive for anyone to buy. Ah well. I cleaned up, ironed, trimmed, and found backings for two of them, found canvases that should be the right size (knock on wood) for two of them to be mounted on, and cut strips for another one, so hopefully I can put it in a hoop.

So I’m hoping to do the sewing for those today and get them closer to done and photographed, so I can put them all in a bag somewhere out of my studio. One of my summer goals is to clean up around the computer in here (it’s my annual summer goal, and I do it every year, and then school happens and things get out of control again)…and these were just lying around, so they’re getting done. I haven’t even started the getting done of things that I’m supposed to be doing for my quilt guild challenge. Borders on the alien bed quilt next, so I can quilt it at my mom’s. Plus two wool quilts that need quilting.

Also need to get this current quilt done and on to the next one, although I can’t keep up with the evil shit the Supreme Court keeps doing, so I need to do a Roe v Wade quilt, a teacher prays but only if they’re Christian quilt, and a climate change quilt. Again. Not to mention LGBTQ rights and anti-female sentiment and and and…sigh.

Kitten has decided that this bag of science books from my co-teacher is her favorite in the whole world…

I’m not sure I will ever get that bag back from her.

Simba says hi…

He’s glad it’s a little cooler today.

And this cat…Nova…really needed my love and attention last night despite my trying to cut things out…

This is why I’m always covered in fur. I stopped and petted her for a while and then she let me cut things again.

Meanwhile, my neighbors are having a tree removed today. Is that better than swim lessons on the other side? Or jackhammering in the back corner? I don’t know. I think I’ll be OK if I turn some sound on…music or Netflix or anything but power tools and small children. Also I think I need to make a cloth cover for the part of the desk in front of my keyboard because my arms don’t like the wood when it’s hot out. IDK why. I’m currently putting two napkins on the desk instead of sticking to the wood all day. Also maybe should walk away from the computer. Copyediting for 7 days straight does this to my brain.

Happy July y’all. It’s officially the only full month I have off from school. So I have jury duty. Yeah. Thanks. I am going to enjoy all the fabric stuff I do today though…in between gardening stuff and maybe a trip to the gym. But lots of fabric.

A Place in the World

Still here, still trying to find a place in the world. I realize for many that the US has never had a place for them. As an educated white female, I always had a place…not a great one, not an equal one, but better than many. We were never 1st-class citizens. And now it is worse. Depressing and worse.

What do we do? Ah well, that is always the question…

There’s that. There’s making art, donating money (when I have it, which isn’t now), writing postcards, protests…

When I can handle them, marches, figuring out how to get rid of half the Supreme Court without violence, voting, persuading others to vote. Sigh. I remember in college locking arms with others in front of women’s health clinics to keep the anti-abortionists from harassing women coming into the clinics. It was the era of bombing clinics, but no part of me considered that. Youth. But I did think about that when I was at the vigil on Friday night. People will die. Many of them will be women who aren’t allowed to get healthcare they need or who find it unsafely, illegally. Women will die. For this shit. Ignorance. Unscientific ignorance.

Still processing all of that.

Meanwhile, there was an artist event at the California Fibers’ show at Visions this weekend. I’ll post more about that on their website and link it here later this week.

They all had better clothes than me…not hard really.

The show is up through July 2…you should go check it out. It’s a wide variety of textile art.

I’m still ironing stuff down and cutting things out…

I’m getting close to done with the ironing…

I’m almost done with the 800s, so maybe 250 pieces left? Or less?

Nowhere near done with the cutting out unfortunately. Getting there. Although now this competes with copyediting, which started Friday and will hopefully be done this week. After this morning’s science meeting. I take breaks in between copyediting to go beat my yard or house into submission. Copyediting means I must be supervised…

She’s not very helpful.

I am trying to finish up some embroideries/small quilts to put on Etsy. I got these done on Thursday…

I’ll let you know when I’ve had time to put them on Etsy…

I might rephotograph too…ugh…

I know I’m trying to do too much. That is always the case though.

Oh yeah, baby owl…see the little white bit in the hole? That’s one of the babies!

That’s the best photo I’ve gotten, though. They hide when I come up further into the yard. Getting brave though!

OK. Science meeting, then copyedit, then more yardwork. Finish my book before it’s sent back to the library. Try not to burn down the country while I’m at it. Huh. Maybe.

My New Podcast

Not really. Don’t get excited. I don’t have time for a podcast…I’m too busy making art. Well…ha! Trying to make art. I did make a video Monday about 7 hours into an eventually 10.5-hour drive (luckily I didn’t drive the last two hours…I was done) and mentally titled it “What the Fuck Am I Doing. Where the Fuck Am I. And Why the Fuck Am I Here.” It’s a really long title for a podcast, but it seemed appropriate at the time. I’ll post the video here once it’s done processing. I actually made TWO videos (they are so lame and unprofessional, but thought process! Yes that.) and then put them together (mad skillz) and now that’s uploading. So yeah.

I think I made the video to entertain myself more than anything, which is why I write this blog…well, to document my brain in time. I do go back and reread months sometimes when I’m having a really hard time, and it reminds me that certain things cycle through life. The beginning of school is always hard. So is the end. So are the two weeks right after school get out. It’s a reset. And this one has been a kind of crazy one.

If you’ve watched the video, you don’t know what happened! The Man has had 3 weeks of elevation sickness while hiking the Sierras. It’s been beautiful but incredibly hard. So he had to make a decision, and I drove up to see him after 3+ weeks of not seeing him and to support him in his decision, either by sticking him on a bus north or driving him north or bringing him home. In the end, adulting and money issues brought him home, which sucks and is sad, but also a relief I think for both of us. It doesn’t mean he’s done. It just means he’s done for a while. It’s job time. I love him for trying over and over again to do this hard thing and for deciding it’s time to stop for now.

It has meant that I haven’t gotten much art done. Packed Sunday and tried to set up everything I needed to. Drove Monday all day. Tuesday, drove back home. I’m exhausted. Still. Plus add a friend’s daughter’s wedding on Saturday, Fathers’ Day stuff on Sunday…I haven’t had much time to focus on recovery yet.

Friday night, after checking out of school, trying to reset my neck again at the chiropractor (slightly more movement), and taking the dog to the vet, I ironed for a bit.

Watched How to Train Your Dragon…no, never had time to watch it before.

So that was after Friday night, almost 2 hours of ironing. I was tired, but ready to iron on Saturday and Sunday! So motivated. Ha!

Saturday was a lot of running around and then a wedding. And then when I got home, I started getting texts from the Man about quitting and coming to get him, and mine back saying are you sure, what about just starting further north, and it was kind of a mess. I didn’t iron at all. Sunday morning, he had processed his feelings and just wanted to see me, which had been in the plan for the next week, but this would work…I just wasn’t mentally prepared for it. So most of Sunday was trying to get stuff watered and packed and purchased and all that. I did iron for just under an hour Sunday night…not my original plan for the weekend, but whatever…

Doesn’t look a lot different…but I had ironed the cat (the fabric cat, not the real cat) and more of the legs I think. Not sure.

Monday was nothing. I wasn’t here. I thought about taking the already ironed pieces with me so I could cut them out, but it was a lot of prep for the time I thought I’d have available…and in the long run, I wouldn’t have had the energy. Monday night, I laid on the bed and read my book. That’s it. We did get home last night around 5 PM after driving a good chunk of the day…ah LA…your traffic sucks. And at some point, I’d had enough caffeine to come back in here and iron some more…

I’ve finished most of the 400s and done some of the 500s, so still not halfway. It’s slow right now. My brain is slow. I’m tired. I did about 2 hours last night and only got 100 pieces ironed. I’ve got almost 10 hours in. SO SLOW. It’s OK. It’s what I need…more time. Hard to choose things. Lots of staring. I’m hoping I can speed it up this week…get it going!

I’m supposed to be doing an artist talk kind of thing (really just hanging out by my work and working and talking to anyone who comes in) on Saturday at the Visions Museum of Textile Art…

And it would be good to have stuff to cut out while waiting/standing/whatever. I’ll be there from 11-2 if you want to see the show and talk to some of the artists. This is in San Diego, California, if you don’t know…and will be Saturday June 25.

So my goal is to be all ironed down before then. Well before then. Meanwhile, I’m still trying to find my brain. Wish me luck. There have been some beautiful skies lately though…lenticular cloud at sunset.

Storm clouds last night…

I did a tiny bit of stitching on the trip down from Fresno yesterday…

Again, this is Sue Spargo’s design Homegrown…I really like stitching her stuff for relaxation, especially while traveling. That’s the Grapevine heading toward Los Angeles. I could do without driving that for a while.

This is Nova watching me water everything before I left…

I’d like to think the boychild would do all that, and he might, if he weren’t on a fire crew right now. At the border…

I can’t say having your kid fight fires is the least stressful thing in the world, but he has a brain that remembers all the things, so I think he’ll be OK. But he didn’t make it home last night…so this poor little guy is feeling all lost…

He looks super sad.

Well, one of the things on my to-do list for Sunday was to write this post. I obviously failed. And then that moved to Monday (nah, exhaustion) and Tuesday (nah, let’s just go home instead). So here we are, the first day I’ve had any semblance of brain power for writing. Now I need to take a shower, go buy some boxes, pack up a quilt, ship it, plant some things, wash the hallway for future painting, IRON FABRICS, and IDK what else. Finish my book. Check on the Man. Pet the pup. All those things. Figure out what day it is. That would help.

No Guarantee…

Tuesday nights/Wednesday mornings. Not far enough into the week. The plus is that we’re done with the childbirth portion of the year and going into the oozing genitalia part. Woo hoo! Gross them out. While giving them crucial information. Actually childbirth already did that. Wait. I forgot. Stupid block schedule…I have one more class of childbirth today. Ugh. Today is hard. Teaching all the things in one day. Two different blocks of science…plus art. I guess next year will be like that every day. Don’t do labs in both grade levels on the same day! Ah, you know that won’t work. It’ll happen. Hopefully they’ll chunk each grade level together so I’m not jumping back and forth between the two. No guarantee of that though. No guarantee of anything.

Need to get my classroom clean and put away for next year. Need to get my brain around next year. Need to get my brain on vacation first. Still haven’t gotten COVID (knock on wood). At this point, I just need it to stay away through next week. Honestly, after that, I suspect my exposures will be pretty minor.

Mostly at the moment, I work the day job, go exercise, come home, eat, grade a little, depending on the day, then cut stuff out. It’s working. But the to-do list is messy and awful and none of it is really getting done. I need to change the sheets on the bed. It’s still flannel and it’s in the 80s during the day. It’s been OK, but I need to change them. Cat hair alone. I just don’t have TIME. Stupid really. If I didn’t do the art stuff, I’d have time, right? Ugh. Not happening. Art always wins over changing the sheets.

OK. Today will be fine. I actually have an art-related Zoom tonight (although I think I will have to cook dinner during it…ah well…I just need to listen, not talk). So that’s a deviation from the norm.

The Man is having a hard time on trail. The trail itself is hard and elevation is hard and I think it’s just hard. I’m hoping it gets easier in a couple of days. He will hopefully get over the highest pass (all the passes are high and scary but this is the highest) and then it’s all downhill! Until the next pass. Yeah. I’m not much help. So I cut more stuff out.

Nova really wants lap time while I’m doing this. I try to give her some and then cut stuff out as well. Monday night I had 3 yards cut out…halfway.

Tuesday night, I got another yard and a half done…

Doesn’t look a lot different, does it. Well…there’s only a yard and a half to go…so I might finish tonight or maybe tomorrow night…then sort it? Ready to iron to fabric by Friday. I won’t have a background fabric yet though. Damn store I like still doesn’t have hours that I can get to during the week. Sucks. Saturday morning I guess. With grades due. Gotta do that. Unfortunately. There’s a chunk of the weekend, unless I can get through them today. Hope hope hope.

Hello y’all.

So tired. Almost done. Seven days. One of them short. One of them on a field trip. Just need to get all the things done. Then hide in a pillow fort for the next 10 days. After I change the sheets. Gonna need more books. I’m lying. I have a shit-ton of books I haven’t read yet. No need to resupply. Teacher done.