Not So Single-Minded…

Hello 2023. And Happy New Year to those who make a mental shift about now for that reason. We made a nice warm dinner, played a wordy game for a while (until someone got tired of losing), and then I mentally flailed while watching Serpent Queen until 11:57 PM, when we searched for a fake ball drop that happened 3 hours earlier, kissed, and went to bed. It rained all night.

The mental flail was more about what to work on…this is why I don’t like a lot of down time between art projects. It makes me uncomfortable to just SIT and not do anything. That said, I have a book I need to finish by Wednesday at 7:09 PM. I think I’m going to make it, but I had to stop reading the one I was almost done with and focus on this one, which I wasn’t expecting much of, but it is proving more interesting than I thought. I joined a new book club with my friends in the old one, this one focused on mysteries. Hoping for some more recommendations. Hoping to read more, actually. It’s been hard to fit that in once school is in. Too much visual stimulation, reading-like, for school. Not very interesting stuff most of the time. But I managed 55 (almost 56) books last year…not bad…could be better.

So I made a goal to do better in 2023. Things I care about right now: reading, art, travel, my family, my friends. My job is pushing it this year. I obviously care about it because I don’t blow it off. I just think it is taking more than it should from me. Yeah.

Anyway, what else has been going on? Well you know that drawing I started the other day? I rolled it up and put it away. I have two deadlines I’m looking at that are pretty far out, but I find both of them interesting, so I had picked one, the one I’ve been thinking about for months, but then when I got to the paper, I felt like I didn’t know enough to draw it yet. I do have a rough sketch on that paper and I’m not giving up on it; it’s just that the other one started talking to me. Mostly during this hike we did on New Year’s Eve (trying to avoid the rain and the people who like to hike on the first day of the year, by hiking on the last day of the year instead).

Hollenbeck Canyon out past Jamul…

It was nice and cool…well, actually cold and rainy at times…

Totally great for letting your brain wander around…

My knee behaved fine…I’ve been doing physical therapy and trying to exercise enough. I find it’s hard to get out of the pajamas right now. Easier when it’s cold and wet to just stay on the couch and not do anything.

But I feel worse after that. So this is better. I think today is officially the last day of break when I have nothing that I have to do on my calendar. Which sucks. Lots of work and medical stuff over the rest of the week, with a little art stuff sprinkled in. I guess I have to think about work. Don’t want to. As usual.

ANYWAY, back to the drawing, I had done some research (I like to research stuff) and came up with some things tickling my brain, mostly Margaret Atwood’s MaddAddam trilogy (my goodness, how DO you spell that…ah, one more capital letter). And some other stuff. Anyway, I cut out a piece of paper, walked away from it, and then started drawing.

So far, I’m all in pencil.

Yeah, I need to put the Xmas stuff away. Didn’t want to pull the boxes out yesterday with all the rain and wet. Maybe today.

So I will probably start some ink tonight, then some more pencil. Today is the boychild’s birthday. He is getting old enough that it makes ME feel old. Until it doesn’t. Because I’m not that old. Anyway, I don’t think any of that will stop me from drawing tonight, but I do want to get to a stage of this piece that is easier to do with less energy before school starts, because I know I will HAVE less energy when school starts, both mentally and physically. I’m having to full-on STEEL myself for going back (you can do it, one day at a time, you will get through it). Maybe that is always the case, but it seems worse right now. Certainly I feel in giant flail mode.

I have been slowly trying to stitch my way around this giant-ass quilt…

And I finished the April Homegrown blocks (Sue Spargo) finally…moving on to May now.

That sun in the lower right block took a goodly chunk of time on New Year’s Eve. And thread!

Oh yeah, more of the piñata show at the Mingei…

Not what you would expect from a piñata show…

Definitely worth going though…

Just think of it more as papier-mache sculpture. Plus the Mingei has other funky craft work all over the place…

Gotta love a giant Earth covered in beads.

Nova would. If she were allowed to.

Instead, she loved me.

Right up there in your face.

OK. I dreamed (nightmared?) about not having a shower last night. I’m not sure why, but it made me really want one this morning. I have a quilt to quilt, a drawing to draw, and a lot of work to work. I’m hoping to do some of all of it. Also need to pack up a fabric donation box or two, plus cut up more blocks for a donation quilt. I’m liking deadlines that are a long ways out so I don’t have to be so single-minded about making, although it freaks me out when I don’t have something to be single-minded about. I also need to read another third of my book so I finish it before it’s due (I figured a third a day would work). And enjoy the last day of break before the have-tos really kick in. Seems doable.

Mentally Chill

Please don’t ask me what day it is. Or even what year. I like to pretend I know what’s going on.

So tiny quilt progress…progress on a tiny quilt, not the other way around, although honestly, I could finish a tiny quilt in one day if I weren’t still fighting this stupid head cold that has planted its phlegmy self in my sinuses and refuses to let go. Anyway, I think it’s been a few days since I remembered I write things, so I managed to iron the quilt together…

It’s easier to do some parts off to the side and then put them on top…

Then onto the background…this was all Christmas Eve…

Then Christmas Day, we cleaned a lot and cooked a little…because we delayed a day for the boychild to get off of work…so I sandwiched and pinbasted.

Then Christmas night (which was actually Boxing Day), after all the presents and dinner stuff, I quilted it…

Super fast while everyone was asleep…

She’s got some attitude…

And then last night, I trimmed it and cut binding and sleeves…

Hopefully I’ll get those on today and get the handsewing done.

I was hoping to get some ‘models’ (aka the fam) to take a photo for me for the next quilt, but I floated the idea and there wasn’t a lot of yah sure, in fact, one fuck off (someone was in a mood), so I’m going to do some reading/research today hopefully and then start some rudimentary drawings tonight or tomorrow. It’s going to be big again. It’s better to have a big piece to work on when school starts, so there’s lots to do that’s not thinking too hard, easy to come home and just do the next step without having to work too hard at decisions. Picking fabric is an easy thing. Deciding what to make next is not. And as much as I know I should be taking a break from school stuff and not working, I also know January and February Me will appreciate it if I do some planning and grading. I took a few days off when I was too sick to do anything, but I can’t really afford big chunks of no work at the moment, not this year. It sucks, yes. I don’t have a solution, no. Teachers who aren’t working over break at all? Congratulations. Your situation is different than mine. Sigh.

Anyway, I only have three assignments left to grade, so that’s good. Next week, I’ll be spending 10 hours working with my co-teacher on that damn tobacco curriculum again, same as last year (hopefully for the last time). Somewhere between now and then, I need to finish the roller coaster project planning and plan the next unit. Most of it anyway. So yeah. Luckily the holiday bits are over and (sadly) the kids are both gone, so it is quiet during the day. Just me and the furry beasts. If only I could get motivated! And stop coughing.

In good news, or is it? I went to physical therapy yesterday for the knee and have a plan, plus a further plan if this doesn’t work. I’d like to avoid the further further plan of surgery, so I’m going with it. Also my NP was on crack, but I knew that when she kept saying arthritis. Anyway…after 6 weeks, it’s nice to at least have something that might work.

This year, I sucked at taking family photos, although here is dad with a spoon the boychild made…

Here is the girlchild with Simba, yet again…

Oh yeah, and we pulled the owl box down to clean it…

Sure enough, there was the missing owlet…

I had thought there were three early on, but only two at the end. They lay the eggs days apart, so sometimes the smallest doesn’t get enough food and becomes dinner.

I finally put more than 4 ornaments on the tree (although not a lot more)…

Simba stuck his tongue out at me…

He’s in a donut to keep him from licking his dew claw, which got hurt the other day. He doesn’t like it.

That fabric looks like my mom’s old sheets. It might even BE my mom’s old sheets. Working on a charity quilt for my quilt guild.

Only need 259 more blocks…

The back of a student’s homework sheet…’mini Nida’…I’m laughing.

I love this kid.

Kitten shoved behind me on the chair…

Nova in her new tent…

Kitten in the tube…

And us old folks (because someone else took the photo)…

I wasn’t feeling my best (Christmas Eve), but I made it out of the house. I’m a little better each day, so that’s good, and I go to the doc tomorrow, so she’ll give me antibiotics if she thinks they’re warranted. Would not recommend this cold. Nope. Nuh uh.

Today? I need to ship the girlchild’s jacket she remembered once she got to the airport. I need to get some boxes to ship fabric to some places (donations). I need a sprinkler to replace the broken one and a lightswitch knob to also replace the broken one. I need to read my book. I need to maybe plant some milkweed seeds. I am actually going to an exercise class tonight, first one in 10 days (yeah, I was that sick). Looking forward to it. Plus put the binding on this little quilt and go read some stuff about magnets and planets. Not together. Shit. Should take a shower too. My plans of drawing every day over break? Completely fucked so far. Maybe try now? We’ll see. The momentum is gone. Sucks.

Hoping your week between the weirdness of the gifty holidays and the drinky holidays is going well. Chill. Or at least mentally chill with the power on so you don’t actually have to be cold.

Really Slowly

Hello Christmas Eve! Actually tomorrow is our Christmas Eve. Or something. This year is too confusing.

I had this plan to be drawing every day during break. Not happening. No brain power for it. I get through a few errands and then need to lie down for a while. I am improving, but it’s slow and torturous. What is this thing? The same cold that everyone else has that’s wiped out the cold medicine section at my grocery store. I finally found more of the stuff that lets me sleep through the night without coughing, so that’s a plus. The rest is more about…well…rest. I need lots of it apparently. So the to-do list languishes. Or gets done really slowly. The physical stuff will have to wait until I have some energy back.

I’m doing a little art stuff every day, not hours of it like I would like to. Ah well. The little piece got ironed to fabrics over 24 hours…

There’s not a lot to it, but I wasn’t feeling well, so I did most of it Thursday night…

And then finished it on Friday night…

Only 33 fabrics…some of which were only used for one piece. Then I cut them all out…

With the idea of ironing them together this afternoon, but I did a bunch of other things (made sourdough starter pancakes to freeze, for the first time since August, wrapped the last of the Xmas stuff, graded two assignments, tried to make sense of another one, showered…that was exhausting)…and now I need a nap. We have one family gathering this evening and I’m already tired. I’m also still short on milk and couldn’t find eggnog, although I can make that from scratch if I have to…I’ve done it before. Probably my body is adamantly telling me what I need (as I half fall asleep here in the chair). Should maybe listen. Just 20 minutes for a snooze, eh?

You can see how the drawing isn’t happening. No energy to clean either; that has to happen tomorrow. We got skunked the other night and half the rooms still reek of it. Luckily Southern California has blessed us with lovely weather (sorry y’all) and the windows are open to dispel the smell.

I Zoomed with friends on Thursday night and made a fence and some veggies…

Do I fix the lumpy carrot or let it be its realistic lumpy self? Who knows.

Simba loves everyone being home…

Although the boychild is back at work until Monday and the girlchild was gone all yesterday, which is why I got his loving attention.

Kitten wasn’t having any of it…

She does RBF well.

This morning, Simba got one of his favorite people on the couch…

He was communing with his other doggie friends, passing the word along in boofy paragraphs.

OK. I can lie down and read for a while. Then go find some milk and maybe eggnog. We are food shopping tomorrow like nutcakes. It’s OK. I wrangled meat yesterday from a big guy who was sure I wanted it all cut up (I didn’t) and then winked at me at the end. Ugh. I don’t know whether to laugh my old chubby ass off at that or be creeped out (or both, which is where I’m at right now). Then off to the Man’s fam for a gathering that will be all noise and color and bright, like holidays are, which sometimes my brain appreciates. I’m hoping to get there in the next 3 hours. Until then, hello couch, hello book, hello pajamas. And hoping everyone gets some time to do what they want with whomever they want, furry beast or otherwise.

Slows You Down…

Well. It’s Winter Break. And I am sick. A lingering gift from the school year. Thanks. Not thankful for it actually. I need a nap right now (only been out of bed for about 3 1/2 hours). Trying to be functional and mostly failing. It’s not COVID (I tested). It might be the flu (I had a flu shot, but you know how that goes) and it might just be a bad cold (the whole other team had that). I don’t really care. I just want it done.

I was OK over the weekend; didn’t really feel it until Sunday night. Although I had a sore throat earlier on Sunday, but thought it was just sinus crap, allergies, who knows what. So I finished stitchdown on Saturday night…

It always looks cool from the back, never to be seen again…

Sandwiched and pinbasted Sunday night…

My knee was not thrilled about this activity. It won’t bend fully, so it was difficult and painful. But quick, at least.

Then I quilted the whole thing yesterday…

It is in fact the only thing I did yesterday besides reading my book. I felt OK in the afternoon, so that’s when this happened. Nothing in the morning.

I need to figure out if I have enough of something that will work as binding fabric or if I need to find the energy to go to the quilt store this afternoon. Ugh. Pretty sure I don’t have the energy for that. Then trim and bind.

Girlchild arrived on Sunday night…

Simba was very happy to see her. She’s working during the day while she’s here…but it’s still nice to have her around.

Awww. Look. They tolerate each other.

OK, I have used up all my energy. Need to nap a bit and then think about the binding. I did shower today, so that explains less energy. Napping isn’t bad. It’s just that I always have so much to do and now I’m sick and can’t do it. Ah well. Universe slows you the fuck down whether you like it or not.

Not in This Class…

Aargh. OK, I have my ugly Christmas sweater(sweatshirt) on. It has T. Rex on it. Setting fire to a Christmas tree. I’m bringing Christmas cards and cookies to school today for a variety of gift things we are doing for staff. We have a 2-hour staff meeting after school today, but it’s at a local restaurant and there will be drinks, food, and gifts (nice actually…too bad I’m tired and not in the mood…hopefully that will change when I get there). It’s dark and fucking gloomy here…a needed winter rainstorm has dropped a little over half an inch with more to come (makes getting to school fun, plus getting the 17 things out of my car also fun). There is only a week of school until break, though, and I managed not to work most of Saturday, so that was a plus. I did iron though…

That was Friday night. That’s when my iron died, so some of those things are not actually ironed down…

This was Saturday, after I bought a new iron…which I still haven’t used, because the old one resurrected itself. Fucker. I did this in the afternoon, because the Man had a show that night that I went to, and I was way too exhausted afterward. I figured that would happen, so made sure I ironed for an hour or so in the afternoon.

I had already recut this piece Friday night…or maybe even Thursday. But I found it Saturday afternoon.

On the floor near the light table, so I’d dumped it out at some point accidentally (that’s where I sort) and it sat there, on the floor, for days and nobody noticed. Fun facts.

Last night, I had to iron some tiny things that go on top of stuff, so that’s easier to do in a section and then iron it on top…because I can’t really see through the fabric to figure out where everything goes. Tiny cars. Tiny factory spewing smoke…

This is what I got done Sunday…

Both arms done, she has cloud hair and a rocket taking off her head, plus one arm is a wildfire and the other is a highway. I’m in the 400s…just the head and all its crazy details and then the sun and the vomit. Oh yeah. There’s vomit. Might be the first time I’ve done vomit? Maybe? Maybe not. I know I’ve drawn it…just can’t remember if it’s showed up in an actual finished piece. I draw a lot more than make it into quilts.

Saturday night’s band pic…in costume…

And actually playing…

I think my ears finally popped last night…definitely should stand further away from the speakers. Maybe. This was an old crowd…older than me, mostly. Their next show is Friday night. I should be exhausted again by then.

The El Cajon parrots visited my eucalyptus trees yesterday…something tasty in the flowers. They are loud and boisterous.

That one is hanging upside down.

We did Sunday dinner at the parentals…Simba enjoyed some Grandma time…

He’s not allowed on the furniture. She says. He seems happy where he is.

Trying to work yesterday. I’m the damn teacher, Google. It’s me.

I talked to me.

Will I be allowed to sleep over break? I suspect not…

And our winter is never snowy. Although it’s apparently hailing somewhere in San Diego right now. Just raining here. So far.

Kitten just sleeps through it all.

I need to figure out where she’s sleeping right now so I can give her meds. Plus find my boots and my raincoat. I loaded all the crap in my car last night, bunch of folders I ordered for January that I need my TA to put labels on, plus some garland for the stupid door decoration, plus some rubber balls and pompoms for labs in January, and chips for the two classes that earned them, and cookies, and lunch, and IDK what the hell else. Water and goldfish for me. Make 8th grade write hard things (ugh), then make 7th grade write easier things (they will complain just as hard). It’s OK…tons of them will be absent because they are always absent when it rains. Wednesday is chicken egg drop…that’ll be fun. Or messy as hell. Maybe still fun. IDK. We’ll see.

I’m looking forward to getting that quilt ironed down in the next two days, then starting stitchdown. It needs to get done.

Revived by an In ‘n’ Out Burger…

I need to find a way to turn off WordPress’ suggestions for what to write about. They’re annoying. Why do I write? To document. I’m a historian kind of person. I like to be able to go back and see what the previous years were like. Plus it makes me make work every night. I know what works. So I do it. Even when I’m tired. Actually the pro of being absolutely exhausted when I get home from work is that I fall asleep quickly (for once) and HARD. It’s the only time I sleep well. So I’ve slept well (although never enough) for the last two nights anyway. Got my X-ray of the knee yesterday…although I guess I don’t want them to find arthritis. The knee is finally starting to improve, which is good. It’s been rough getting up the stairs into the house. Problematic for the future. Need to design a winch for the front deck so I can get up when I’m really old (or finally need knee surgery).

Ugh. Well, it’s Friday. Finally. The first part of the week is slow and sloggy. Then it speeds up and it’s Friday. Cool beans. There aren’t actual beans in this post, in case you’re wondering.

I’ve been ironing this thing together…it’s not hard so far, because the fussy stuff is in the body, and I did the whole background first…starting on Wednesday night…

Then last night, after my stitching meeting…I didn’t think I’d have the energy, I was so tired on the drive home, but apparently one can be revived by an In ‘n’ Out burger (that’s my theory anyway), and I managed about 42 minutes of ironing to get to here…

Sky and landscape are done…now on to the body etc. That’s the fussy little stuff. Looking forward to it.

I stitched with friends in a Barnes and Noble Starbucks, like we do once a month. Got the roof done in a little less than 2 hours. It’s fancy. Looks cool though.

This is Sue Spargo’s block of the month Homegrown. It’s fun. This block will have a vegetable garden at some point…at the rate I’m going, sometime in 2023, obviously. I’m hoping to get a couple (three?) of my finished Spargo quilts quilted over Winter Break. We’ll see, because I need to finish that other quilt and get it photographed before the first of January, so that could be an issue. Time! It’s fleeting.

Driving up to Mira Mesa and back was tiring…but I’m glad I got to hang with my people…we like words and weird stuff and grammar…and of course stitching. Or things with yarn/thread/paper. Branching out definitely. I’ll remember to photograph my gifted ornaments at some point…because they are both cool.

Kitten has been bringing me things all week…she used to do it all the time and then stopped, but now is getting a little obsessive. I gave her a piece of wool, hoping she’d stop raiding my stitching boxes (she didn’t, so I had to find lids for all of them)…

She also brings me my napkin from the couch (I use fabric napkins and I don’t eat at the table…so there’s often one on the couch where I sit…yeah, that’s weird, but it’s how I roll) and an occasional dog toy (the dinosaur). It makes her so happy…she talks the entire time she’s carrying it. She’s old but seems happy.

I didn’t take this burrito Simba picture…

He was at the other house. Apparently he was cold (it has been cold at night, in the low 40s/high 30s…which yes, I realize isn’t THAT cold, but it is for us). He comes back to us tonight and will hopefully be quiet and happily ensconced in the down comforter that is now on the bed, thank goodness; I’ve been cold at night.

School has been OK the last few days…a few people being out helps. We’re doing hard things in 8th grade (ugh) and easier fun things in 7th grade (the hard stuff will be next week). I’m planning a lot, best I can, but also feeling overwhelmed by details. Too many details. Anyway. At least I know I can iron tonight. And maybe do some planning. And maybe tomorrow can have less (or even no) school in it. My weekend posts from last year did not have school on Saturdays. Ah. Well. This year, I am not so lucky. May the knee continue to recover. May the flu stay the fuck away. And COVID while we’re at it. May my prep period be effective. May the kids who make things difficult have a good day or stay home (seriously, yes, I said that). Happy Friday y’all.

At the End…

Hello very dark in the morning. I do not appreciate you. Sorry. I’m up early to go to the doc for my stupid knee. I’m not happy about being up early. I tried going to bed a little earlier, and then my brain remembered all the things in the world to be anxious about, so that went well. Then it woke me up at 4:30 because it might be time to get up (it wasn’t). My brain and I are barely speaking these days, though, so I guess that’s par for the course. I’m just hoping for a host of referrals to specialist things that I can hopefully schedule over Winter Break (Ha! I’m gonna bet none of them can be scheduled until well into next year) and then solutions to the knee would be lovely.

My office calendar is still set to November y’all. Not a good sign.

In good news, I managed to finish cutting out all the pieces, about 8 hours total…

And then last night, I sorted them…

And started ironing.

Feels good. I like this part.

School was hard, but only in the afternoon…mostly because of this, although I didn’t get to go to this…

Just half of my kids did. Yeah. Well. I get to go in April? Maybe.

Monday night’s sky.

At school still. Ah well. This week. And next week. And then I’m off for three. Hallelujah.

Gotta go. Today is busy and long. But hopefully more ironing (and maybe a nap) at the end.

Way Less Than Optimal…

WordPress is now adding a question to the previously blank blogpost, in case I logged in to write a post and had no idea what to write about. I guess that might happen. Maybe? The question is “what would I want to change about myself?” Um. So many things. That I’m not gonna write about here. But thanks.

This last weekend was the weekend of no sleep. There’s a skunk who has decided that late nights outside the bedroom window are exciting, and the little dog is also excited about this; in fact, everyone except the humans who have to function during the day and can’t nap for endless hours is excited. So I’m running on way less than optimal sleep. On a Monday. Ten school days before Winter Break. Also there’s an on-campus field trip thing tomorrow that only HALF of my 7th graders can go to and I haven’t dealt with that AT ALL and I’m not sure exactly HOW to deal with it because my teacher’s aide has been out and I occasionally am getting a sub, and I can’t send my kids if I don’t have a SECA that day. So how do I present that to a bunch of already problematic kids? Um you MIGHT get to do something cool and fun but only HALF of you get to go tomorrow, the rest have to wait until APRIL and OMG you might NOT get to go if we continue to have too many people out. Yeah. Sounds great.

I worked a lot on school stuff this weekend. The pro is that I am caught up (almost) on grading…I have about 6 redoes that need grading and that’s it. For today anyway. The con is that I didn’t plan all the way through the end of next week…this shit just takes too long. Everything needs editing because it’s too complicated, not helpful, and it’s PDF files, so the editing takes even longer. I beg steal and borrow from other stuff we’ve done to try to help with the planning, and it’s still so fucking time-consuming. I think I spent about 9 hours on the day job this weekend. Ugh.

I did also go to my guild’s holiday party. I took 3 fat quarters for that game they play (didn’t win…but I did last year, so I’m OK with that), but my prize for going to the party was 2 half yards. For you non-quilt-math people, I came out with an extra fat quarter. So that’s fun. We made fabric ornaments…

Which was fun. I did not pick holiday fabrics. And Kitten has already absconded with this. I need to get a hanger on it and get the tree in from outside so she will be less likely to steal it.

I spent a goodly few hours cutting stuff out this weekend…

Friday night with Kitten…

Saturday night after dinner…

And last night after all the things. I’m in the sky. So I cut out basically in opposite order from ironing, although I dumped everything into a bigger bin at some point, so I can see sky and flesh in there, and I think flesh was ironed after sky. So there’s still a big chunk of stuff, but I can see the bottom of the bin, so I’m getting close. Probably not tonight, but maybe tomorrow night. This thing has a hard deadline, so I’m really trying to stay on top of it. I’m behind my original schedule already. Sigh. When am I ever NOT behind? In everything really.

Kitten has been following me around…

This was Friday night’s sleep.

The other two are still cuddling against the cold…

Until Nova wants to sleep in the bedroom, and then Luna loses her fucking mind.

This guy won’t let anyone sleep because of that skunk…

Luckily, boychild is home tonight and can take over…the skunk doesn’t like the dirt outside HIS room as much as the dirt outside MY room. And then maybe I can sleep through the night. That would be nice. Seriously feels like there’s sand in my eyes. So tired.

Saturday night…finishing a drawing from the previous weekend, I think.

I don’t know that it’s actually finished. But I’m finished with it.

Too true below…

I am going in to the doc to have them tell me my knee is royally fucked and they will ask me about my period. The one I haven’t had for like 5+ years. I don’t have a clue when the last one was. Fun stuff.

Last night’s sky was (as always) much prettier in person than my camera will show…

Need a new phone. Sigh to that as well. Just paid the property taxes. At least I could afford that.

OK. Staff meetings today. One grade is doing an assessment (they will be fine). The other grade will have to read by themselves to fill out a chart. So that’s gonna go well. Independent anything has been difficult for them this year. It’s exhausting. But it’s short and I’m not cooking tonight, so maybe I can get more planning done and then cut stuff out for longer. That would be nice. That’s my goal then.

Show Your Work…

Oh my. So exhausted after two whole days of school. I must be doing it wrong. Of course, sleep is not my friend. I’m teaching a new engineering unit, so my brain decides to go over how it will all work, precisely, specifically, we move from this to that, over and over and over again…while I’m trying to sleep. Not helpful, brain. Not helpful at all. It’s OK…at some point, I will be so exhausted that I will fall asleep even though my brain is trying to do all the things. I mean, it can’t possibly DO all the things.

Speaking of the brain, our school district is back to trying to make us understand how our brains work and how we can work better HARDER because of it. Or better with other people? Much as I like the little brain quizzes (ok, 177 questions is not little, and it was timed, so you couldn’t rest or relax while taking it), I don’t really need the 3 AM email that says because I am STRATEGIC, I need to (OMG get this) SHOW MY WORK. I kinda wanna send that to my kids and all former and current male attachments, because that is all about how my brain gets from here to there with 17 thousand iterations that you didn’t see and you don’t understand. That is the random shit I say sometimes when my entire family turns and stares at me because we were talking about widgets and I’m now talking about cloud movement and there were actually connections between the two in my head, it’s like this crazy twisted ribbon of how I got there, and now I have to SHOW MY WORK and explain to y’all how I got there and you still think I’m nuts.

That however does not make my job easier at the moment. I did successfully post 24 videos of kids dropping egg supply pods yesterday. We did not use real eggs yesterday…practice run. Only one died…

Which is why we’ll be doing real chicken eggs in a week and a half. Hopefully the mess will not be too bad. Ugh. Some interesting designs though…

Mostly there were some big clunky noises though when they hit. So today we’ll redesign with some physics in mind. Hopefully. One class is decidedly “we just want to DO without thinking” so that makes it fun. Not. Gotta love middle-school kids…they do think they know everything even when they know they don’t. May today be easier than yesterday.

Artwise, I’m still ironing. I really thought I’d be done last night, but I went to the gym (very frustrating last two periods of the day, plus trying to plan some shit out without much help), then made videos for each period of all of their drops, then made a doc I need for next week that the stupid curriculum thinks the kids don’t need but they do. Their understanding of what my kids need is almost always off by about 5 years of ability. Which sucks. I scaffold like a bitch, but even that’s not enough some days. One of the brain quiz questions asked if I LOVE my job or DON’T LOVE my job. Right now, it’s a lot of the latter unfortunately. Just because of the planning taking SO MUCH time and having a group of kids that are really difficult all together in the last two classes of the day. Sometimes they’re awesome and I try to hold onto that as much as possible, and sometimes it’s a shit show. Too much of that. Makes you feel like you’re a shitty teacher no matter how many years you have in. So hopefully I will find more love for it; hopefully they will find their chill a little bit too. Too much drama.

So the ironing did not get totally done…but I’m close. Here’s Monday night…

I’m having a hard time picturing this one completely colored in my head. I am using some colors in places I don’t usually use them. But I think (hope?) it will work. Here’s last night…that big piece of blackish fabric is one that I’m kind of questioning, but I think it will work.

I thought about green instead, but there’s all these green hills behind and I didn’t want that part to fade into the back. I wanted it in your face. So we’ll see how that goes.

This is all I have left…

Not much. That’s tonight. Then I can start cutting.

Kitten has been bringing me socks and pieces of my wool stitching…mostly in the middle of the night while I’m sleeping, as she vocalizes quite loudly that she’s brought me my things. It’s been a while since she’s done this…I forgot how annoying and cute it was.

The socks I don’t mind. I wish she’d leave the wool stitching alone. She pulled one block out from under a bunch of other stuff. She does prefer wool to anything else. Weirdo.

OK. I’m not sure what I’m teaching today, because my late-night brain worried about all of it for so long. Sucks. I have to make kids read in both grade levels, which is always a challenge. I could just read to them, but that’s not as useful as their trying to read themselves. They fight it so much. Then pilates after school. Then probably I’m cooking tonight because the boychild is half dead with something awful (not COVID), and then I’ll get to iron. Depending on what school shit I need to do tonight. Which depends on how much I can get done during prep. Or something. I’m not even sure what I need to do at this point, my brain is so tied up in knots. It’s not SHOWING ITS WORK dammit. It comes to me that I spend a lot of time here showing my work though…I guess that’s a thing. Certainly gets it out of my head and into the ether.

Antonyms of Fine…

Apparently I have no clue what day it is. Not surprising, really. I get like this over breaks. One day at a time. Do the things for that day, then make a pillow fort and disappear into a book. I had a legit reason…the book was going to be sucked back by the library demons at 2:33 PM today and I needed to finish it before that happened. I’m not entirely sure I understand what happened in the book, but when the fourth (in the trilogy, yes, really) comes out, I will just reread all of the three previous books and maybe it will all make sense. I really liked parts of it; just wasn’t sure how they were related to previous parts. It was confusing.

I really loved that highlighted bit. Because my co-teacher and I joke about everything being fine, but it’s not. It’s just hard this year. So I missed writing the blog yesterday, even though I wrote it down in my bullet calendar list of things to do, which I’ve been mostly ignoring, except for the parts where I have to be places and feed people. This morning I have to be two places. So I’m up because of the dog and the cats, earlier than desired, but whatever. That’s because the boy left and the dog thinks daylight is an alarm clock. He distinctly does not understand sleeping in.

So yeah, I made a lot of food that is still feeding people, and my family showed up…well, some of them anyway.

Minus the last-minute gravy the boychild helped with, so I officially still have never made gravy, and the cranberry sauce I forgot was in the fridge, but remembered. It was good. I never liked cranberry sauce until I had it made fresh.

This was after all the eating and drinking, so most people are smiling. The next day was the Man’s family, well, some of them…

This time before the eating, and at a much prettier table.

Also, I didn’t have to cook, which I appreciate.

And then there’s the artmaking, which I greatly appreciate…I sorted on Wednesday afternoon, while the turkey was cooking and before people arrived…

And then I started ironing to fabric. This piece has relatively few pieces (630) and is smaller (much) than the last one (28×36″ image). Those are little baby mountains…

This was what I had ironed after Thursday, I think…

And yesterday, I graded all morning and through the England v USA World Cup game. It needed to be done. Also someone needed to score, but I guess that didn’t happen. I’m not done with grading or planning. It’s possible that I never will be. I have two harder assignments left to grade and about two weeks more of planning to get me through to December. But it’s been taking me about an hour to plan each day of this unit/project, crazily, so I don’t know that I’ll get that far through. We’ll see. Too much researching shit, trying to figure out how better to present it than our curriculum does (because even when it’s pretty good, it still isn’t).

I also finished my book. But didn’t exercise. There’s 78 things on the to-do list that aren’t done. The Christmas shopping is mostly done, though. I need to assemble some things and I’m waiting on some stuff and I have to pick up one thing today, but otherwise, I might be sorta done. Kind of. More done than I was a week ago anyway.

I spent a goodly chunk of time ironing yesterday afternoon and evening and night though. And that was good. This piece of sky is one of my hand-dyes. I occasionally like to do it myself. Find it fun.

But then I dye things that are hard to use. This will be good sky though. I made it through all the fleshy pieces…they started in the 100s, then through the 200s and most of the 300s, I think.

Of course, I only did the flesh. I still need to do all the non-fleshy bits: the bones, heart, lungs, burning trees, and polluting cars. So that’ll take a while. I might be halfway through? Not sure because of the numbering. Feels like I’m further on than that, but the head is complicated and so is the vomit. So today sometime I’ll work on the bits in the torso that aren’t flesh, and then I’ll have a better idea of where I’m at. I’m also going to pick up a quilt and hopefully hike/walk the dog and the Man. So here’s what I’ve gotten so far…need a bigger box, plus extra points if you can find the cat butt and tail.

Also need to grade at least one of those hellish assignments. Ugh. Don’t feel like it, but it has to be done. I know some people just don’t do any work over break, but it’s looming over me and I know how panicked I would be next week (or tomorrow!) if I hadn’t done what I did. I need my head above the water, not doing that thing where you’re kicking your feet to push your nose and mouth up a little to get air, which was the last three weeks. Sigh.

When I made it to bed, a bunch of animals followed me…Kitten settled down by my feet, which is not normal for her…usually she comes up later and shoves into my back.

She was there for quite a while before she wandered off to sleep on a blanket somewhere less crowded. Simba was squished between us most of the night…

Although this was before the Man came to bed. Luna showed up in the dark. Nova doesn’t come in on the bed any more. She would, but the dog freaks her out. Her loss.

OK. So I’m up. I need to shower, go get my quilt, pick up the Xmas thing, go for a hike, probably eat somewhere in there, grade some shit, plan some other shit, iron fabrics, probably do a date-night thing, and read another book (it’s OK; it’s short). Today is Saturday. I’m just writing that for my own assistance. I need to remember to do all the things tomorrow that get me ready for school, and the more times I remind myself that today is Saturday, the more likely it is that I will remember to do all the things on Sunday that will help me go to school on Monday. I’m glad I’ve had time this week to recharge without students around. To plan without panicking. To get caught up on grading. That’s good. Plus make a bunch of food and freeze it so my December self panics less. These are good things. Maybe next year I can have a break from school that isn’t full of grading and planning (ha!). Next year, I’ll have taught all this once and will have more help. Hopefully. For now, I’m thankful that it’s Saturday and not Sunday. I can do a Saturday.