I’m Gonna Make Your Head Burn*

Hey guys, you remember last year? And the year before? And the year before that? That damn mockingbird is back…and it’s right on my fenceline, so it’s loud as hell. I don’t know how anyone else sleeps through that little fucker’s delightful song (seriously, I saw it the other day and was trying to decide how to catch it and move it to another state. Where no one lives. Except other mockingbirds.). I’ve been wrapping a pillow around my head to deaden the noise, but the beast gets through double pillow layers. I tried earplugs one year, but there’s some weird balance between my ear canals and my nostrils that doesn’t work when one of them is plugged up. God damn, he’s loud. Get a woman, you bastard! Or babies! Or whatever it is that’s making you talk to the whole planet on my doorstep.

School is survival mode at the moment…we’re doing the last few days of the sex ed program, so it’s all about STDs starting today. I’ve had a few questions in the question box about the TV show 13 Reasons Why, so I’ve been watching the 2nd season. Ugh. I know it’s trying to deal with the issues, but some of it is really hard to watch at the end of the school year. Or ever. I can’t decide if it’s just really heavy-handed because it’s adults making assumptions about what kids go through, or if it’s just trying to hit ALL the possible issues, telegraphing ALL the warning signs so we know what they are. It’s obviously targeted at a younger crowd than me…but maybe in teaching middle school, I never escape some of the crap in my head that was so inherently middle and high school. Like never-wanna-go-back middle and high school.

Anyway. It’s progressing…and I made it through grading about 17 websites last night before I quit. I got a bunch done at school, but the 17th one started talking about Reagan, and I’m pretty sure he had nothing to do with the plastics industry or the biosphere, so I gave up. Like please stop writing random answers to fill the space because you didn’t actually read the article or watch the video I asked you to read or watch. Grading shouldn’t involve swearing at the computer repeatedly. I have to be done by Monday…I think I’ll be OK. Hopefully.

On the way to work yesterday…I often think I should have business cards for my editing job so I can hand them out to the guys standing out at this allllllley. Or not.

Puppy sleeping on me as I finish up dinner and try to figure out the rest of my evening.

Back to the ironing board! I finished the mountain/land area and then did a jellyfish (purples) and this octopus below…

Then I’m looking at this section and trying to figure out why there’s two sets of hands on that leg. I mean, I drew the damn thing…what was I thinking?

It’s OK…I figured it out. I often put hands on the skin of the main figure…it’s like who has a hand on her, who makes a mark on her, not necessarily always in a bad way. Think of your kids…they leave a mark. Speaking of kids, one started her summer job yesterday and hopefully will (a) find her rain gear and (b) keep enjoying the job. It sounds interesting so far. If you see her tramping through the woods around Waltham, Massachusetts, wave and give her chocolate. The boychild is apparently seeing the US and might be kind enough to check in with locations and/or pictures every few days. Or not…and then I’ll just sit here and worry that I haven’t heard from him. Typical mom brain. But when I travel now, I always tell someone where I am. From the year my parents went off on a trip and left no itinerary and then my dad’s brother died and I couldn’t reach them. Or the other year when they left and their dog was really sick. Anyway. He’s out there. He might like chocolate too.

I started picking out the flesh stuff…I picked fabrics anyway, and started choosing pieces, but it was already midnight at that point. I know how long bodies take to pick out, and this is not a small body, so I saved it for tonight.

After tutoring. Last tutoring of the year! Oh hallelujah. Maybe I should NOT do tutoring next year? Sigh. I know it’s what’s best. I hate it, but it’s what’s best.

Here’s what I’ve used so far…you can see the jellyfish purples at the top of the left box.

There will be so many more colors by the time I get to the end…

I woke up this morning to Kitten sharing the dog bed with Calli.

It makes Calli nervous, so when she notices, she gets up and lies on the floor instead. Kitten is watching birds and bunnies outside. She’s the one that pushes the slats so she has a little window.

OK, so steady progress on grading and ironing. Both should be done sometime over the weekend…although two night meetings this week will affect that. Meanwhile, off to school and STDs. Hey there’s the one thing I don’t think I’ve seen on 13 Reasons Why…YET…

*Adele, Rolling in the Deep

Always Clean Up Your Mess Before You Mess It Up Again*

I keep trying new breakfast foods…stuff I can prep on the weekend and then eat every morning. My body is not good at early breakfast…it tends to be nauseous and still asleep, so it’s always a challenge. Stuff that sounds good to me while I’m prepping or shopping is notoriously putrid in the morning. Or I eat it once and then like that’s it. I’m good. It’s not good FOR me, though, to go through until lunch with no food, so then I get to school and all I have to eat are nuts…which aren’t a totally bad plan, but I can do better. So this week, I tried an oatmeal bake with fruit and so far, so good (first day only). I can usually handle oatmeal anyway, and this is just a slightly fancier and healthier version…so we’ll see if that gives me vip and vim this morning.

I’m not really a morning person. You may have noticed. I can quietly write here, as long as I don’t have to talk to anyone. Luckily, most of my cohabitants are also not morning talkers. Even when I get to work, the morning talkers are there and they’ve learned not to expect much from me. I’ll talk when the bell rings to start school…and some days, not a moment before.

So I did some relaxing stuff on the weekend, if by relaxing, you mean walking a 4-mile art and music route. I basically did very little art-related stuff on Saturday. I really needed a break from feeling like I had to do it…so I just went in there for the last hour or so of the night before going to bed and tried to clean up…

I had about 5 more piles in there when I started…so I put all this away from the last quilt…

Always clean up your mess before you mess it up again.

And then I had this broken drawer…Midnight used to sleep in there, and I think eventually the pressure of fabric plus sorta fat cat caused the plastic to fail…

I stupidly threw the broken pieces away…so I needed to figure out how to fix it. At the time, I thought it would be easy to find a replacement, but the sizes are all different and don’t fit into that space any more. I did this long-range plan for shelving in that space, but really the whole room needs a makeover and that’s not in the cards this summer…so finally, on Saturday night (yup, I party like the best of them), I put cardboard in there and then duct-taped it to death so it would hopefully hold long enough for me to be able to afford to do something in that space. Because I was tired of trying to pull the drawer open without breaking it more.

So that was Saturday night: cleaning and improvising.

Sunday was a lot of work stuff…I got up and graded 63 emails’ worth of makeup work and another pile of papers. Then input some grades and did the grocery shopping and sent the parent email and all that crap. It’s all time-consuming crap, honestly. I love the summer because my Sundays are free…FREE!

Then I graded the rest of the student videos and transferred all those to paper and started grading the websites I could find. Puppy was very tired…

Satchemo really wanted to be ON the computer and was rather pissy that I wouldn’t let him be…

Then at around 10:15 PM, I headed into the studio for the fun stuff…the first 100 pieces sorted and ready for ironing. On the far left (hiding in the dark) is the piece I picked for the background of my existing stash…

On really long drawings, I can’t see the bottom without having to lean over to the ground, so I pull the drawing up to the ironing board…

It’s just easier to see that way…

And I ironed almost 100 pieces…at some point, it was after midnight and I was still ironing and thinking I didn’t want to stay up too late because then I’d lose all the sleep I’d made up over the weekend.

So I stopped just short of the snow on the mountains. Not a bad start…

I will have to be grading every night, but this will be a pleasant ending to every day…relaxed…the way it should be.

At Some Point, You Run Out of Hours

I slept. I went to bed well before midnight. I slept. And the dog barked. And I slept some more. And the cat bit me. That pretty much got me up and moving, but obviously I needed like 10 hours of sleep. Like don’t bug me sleep. Like let me just lie here and grow roots into the bed sleep. It was a rough week. I had to be up early every morning and then I wasn’t going to bed early, because my brain doesn’t work that way. Until it hits exhaustion. Hoping to repeat again tonight into tomorrow morning, so I can make it through all of next week. There are nine days of school left. Grades are due in a little more than a week. I can do it.

Really, what helped yesterday? I found out the deadline for the show I’m trying to get this quilt finished for got moved. To September. Oh holy hallelujah, what a weight is gone. I can do that. In fact, all of a sudden, I can do everything. Well. The grading part is still a load of work, but I was able last night to sit down with all the art deadlines I’m looking at for the next 6 months (well, I forgot one, but that’s OK)…and kind of start to get my head around my summer and fall. Artwise that is. It felt a lot more relaxed and sane. I needed that. For some reason, for about 2 years, I’ve been going like crazy and I needed to chill out a bit.

I need to add the other one here and do measurements for the one I just wrote down, but now I can get my head around what next. What order? How?

So that’s good.

Yesterday was our awards breakfast…here’s our amazing English teacher making pancakes. I was on the other griddle doing the same.

Well I had to move to another plug after we blew that fuse, but whatever. Why the library doesn’t have more robust fuses, I don’t know.

Taught about birth control all day…then a walk with just the one little dog…

This walk is one I really like, but I no longer like doing it alone…

We didn’t do the whole three miles…puppy was tired, but here he is pulling, wanting to keep going.

Here’s why it makes me nervous to walk here…there’s two adult coyotes and then two kits out there. The trail we come out on is right next to the green belt…the kits saw us and ran back to their den, but it still makes me nervous to come by myself with the dogs. I can carry one small dog, but it’s hard to protect both if needed. Especially if there’s an overprotective momma coyote around…

Came back and had dinner…Satchemo likes to sit right underfoot. The pattern of the rug with his fur seemed really interesting…

Here’s the drawing I did on the plane on Monday. Not too exciting. I was pretty tired.

So part of the art I have to do this summer is two tiny pieces to go in these boxes…for a show that will open in September…

The next step on this quilt is to iron the Wonder Under to fabric…before I can do that, I need to clean up in here…I need to put all the pulled fabric from the last quilt away, plus I really should try to fix the one green drawer.

It’s broken and I can’t find a correctly sized replacement. My long-term plan is to replace all this section with shelving, but that’s expensive and not happening this year. So the drawer is a pain in the butt, and I need to put a brace in or something to keep everything from falling out.

A little bit of clean up here, mostly getting stuff neatly back in drawers and off the place where I lay out all the Wonder Under.

The sewing machine table is doing OK…just some paperwork on the right that needs managing…

I’m not buying a new background…I need to use one of these. I often buy more than one background when I’m not sure what will work…

Although as I’m thinking about the size…I may not be able to get away with not buying more. Huh. Thinking. Mathing in my head is a mistake. I’ll do it later, after a shower to clear the cobwebs from my brain. Anyway, I’m going to grade some and then clean up some today…then we’re going to an artwalk for the rest of the day. Seriously need a break, so that will be a good one. Depending on how I feel tonight, I might get some work done on the ironing. We’ll see. I’m OK now if I don’t. I was seriously looking at having to do about 4 1/2 hours a day and I couldn’t see how that was going to work…because that’s on top of maybe 9 or 10 hours of schoolwork as well. At some point, you run out of hours.

Anyway. It’s moot now. Moving on with my much-more-relaxed weekend. Also trying to ignore the sore throat…hoping it’s from overuse yesterday…and not some viral crap that some sneezer kid gave me.

Needlework and Seedlings*

Tired is catching up with me and passing me on the right, cutting me off so I slow down, and then speeding up to beat me to the finish line. It’s hard NOT to stay up late…I haven’t gotten more than 6 hours any night this week. Some of that is just that my brain keeps going at 900 miles an hour no matter what. Some of it is trying to get everything done. Ah stress and lack of sleep…the things my doctor keeps flipping out over…like I can control those. TEN DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT. Yeah. That. I’m feeling much better about grades getting done, but I still have a ton left to do. Just not as big of a ton. Some of the not sleeping is that little dog barking his mad head off in the middle of the night…I don’t know what animal is out there, but it was big enough to set off the motion-sensor lights this time. Assholes. And the mockingbird is back, but this is a new one. It sounds like mockingbird-on-crack. Pillow over head. Ugh.

I am SOOOO looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow morning and Sunday morning. Wake me up and I kick your ass. Unless you’re a dog. Because I don’t hurt dogs. I just get irritated with them. And honestly, probably we need to do a better job of getting the little one tired at night. Next week. Next week when I don’t have to be up early every damn morning. My principal has threatened an additional meeting next week. I’m hoping he forgets. Is there a voodoo spell for principals forgetting shit?

Weirdest question in sex ed this year (I teach 7th graders about reproduction etc every year) was “Do you have to do The Sex every time you want a baby?” Um. Well. OK. Yes. And let’s explain human nature and The Sex a little bit. It must be a girl asking? Or a very scared boy?

So I came home and entered an exhibit and ate some leftovers and installed a new Tivo (yeah well, I guess I made that decision) and then sat and finished cutting out Wonder Under…6 1/2 hours total. Pretty much the same as the last one.

I was hoping to save some time on this one…not. Then I set up to sort them, because it was only 11 PM. The big box at the bottom is all the pieces, and then each of the smaller boxes is only 100 pieces…it makes it easier when I go to iron if I’m dealing with only 100 pieces at a time. My process after a million years of doing it this way…it’s pretty efficient actually.

Forty minutes and one glass of wine to sort all 904 (plus or minus who knows how many) pieces…

In bed by 12:15? Not bad compared to most of this week…definitely feeling it this morning though. Tonight I can start ironing to fabric. Based on the last quilt, that took about 12 hours. Yikes. OK…I need to go faster. I can do 3 or 4 hours tonight. I know we will want to do some fun stuff tomorrow at some point…but if I can get 3 or 4 hours in tomorrow and finish up on Sunday (shee-it, when are you planning on grading shit, Nida? SHHHHHH. Quiet. I’ll figure it out. I have a plan. Maybe.). Need to be focused. Like a fucking laser.

Calli asking for some kind of attention. I think she’s got another UTI…sigh. Poor old lady. Her girl parts are kinda freaky for UTIs.

Hopefully she’ll be going to the vet today.

OK, so I have a plan…I am so SO looking forward to being done with school so I can sit somewhere and relax with my sketchbook without feeling like I’m supposed to be doing 17 other things. I don’t know when that will happen, but hopefully soon.

*Iron & Wine, Faded from the Winter

Catching It in a Different Order

I keep thinking it’s June. It’s not June yet. I just am panicking like it’s June. I should stop that. I’m being pretty efficient with like everything except sleep and exercise. Those aren’t happening right now. We got loaner computers so we can grade while the kids watch the pregnancy video. I really don’t know how to just sit and watch things. It’s hard.

You know what’s hard? And a totally first-world problem? My Tivo died. It’s OK. It was old. Although it took a bunch of stuff with it when it died (sigh). But then I spent 24 hours trying to figure out what to do about it. Get another Tivo? Get a different DVR? Ignore it? Assume everything will eventually show up on Netflix or Amazon? (It doesn’t). Sigh. Decisions. Difficult. But not really.

And even though we’re out of school relatively early this year, I already potentially have 4 teacher days for the last two weeks of June, dammit. Sigh. I took things on. I can’t not apparently. And July apparently belongs to the US District Court, so I’m trying to shove all the appointments into those two weeks of June as well. Eyelid twitching. Yup. There it goes.

I haven’t given up hope on getting this quilt done though. I graded all day in class, got about 20 minutes per period in, finished up two assignments completely, most of a third. I’m still watching videos. Need to rethink that for next year? Or revise? Not sure. Can’t think that hard right now. Which is interesting…because at some point, co-teacher and I need to plan next year…which means throwing it all up into the air again and catching it in a different order. Some day we’ll be easier on ourselves. Teaching this unit is pretty easy…done it enough times.

So yeah, even though I graded all day in class, I came home and graded some more. I just want to be caught up, whatever that means. I wish I had another week on this quilt…I’d be fine if I had another week. Sigh.

After grading, I cooked dinner…and then I kept cutting things out. It’s actually going really fast, which is nice…I’m about 3 1/2 hours in and I have one full yard and then maybe another third of a yard…unfortunately it’s a third of a yard with a lot of small pieces, which takes longer to cut out. There’s the puppy…

He’s a good couch dog…unlike this goofball…she was kicking me while rolling around in her sleep.

We’ve been watching the second season of The Handmaid’s Tale…it’s so hard to watch. A great show, but painful…and then because my students all binge-watched it, I’ve been watching the second season of Thirteen Reasons Why…ugh. It’s not bad…it makes some relevant points (episode 2), but then goes a little wackadoodle (episode 4). I have to remember I’m not the target audience…I just educate the target audience. Which can be hard…every year we have a student or two who does or says things that set off every alarm bell in my head, and it’s so hard to watch them go through the stuff in their own heads. And to worry about them. They’re our kids too…in a different way, but you still want to encourage them and keep them safe and sometimes beat them over the head with a pillow, just like your own kids.

So I finished cutting out the first yard, cut out all of the second yard, and that’s what’s left of the third yard…with a fourth yard lurking on the sidelines.

I think I should easily be able to finish cutting them out tonight AND sorting them. That puts me into ironing on fabric tomorrow night…hopefully finishing Saturday? Seriously. It’s gonna have to be quick. Much as my brain would like to stop dealing with school and spend some weekend time full-on relaxing, I can’t do that yet. I think I’ve got another 46 hours or so to put into this quilt, based on the last one…although I’m considering a facing of sorts instead of a binding…not sure if that saves time or not, since stuff still needs to be sewn down by hand, unless I do a pillowcase-type finish. Plus if it’s something I’ve never done before, that makes it take longer. You wanna know how many days I have left to work on it? TEN. Yeah. I know. But four of those days are weekend days (sorry mom, dad, but you’re not going to see me I think until later this month). But 4.6 hours a day? I’m really just hoping that I’m faster than on the last one, and also that it will just take less time because it’s smaller and has fewer pieces.

A girl can dream.

So girlchild posted this from Ithaca…I took this picture! Now of course she set up the camera and all I did was point and shoot. And then she looked at the picture and adjusted something (light) and made me take it again. I’m pretty impressed with her ability to take photos, actually. And I wish I’d moved slightly to the right so that guy in the background was gone…need to get her Photoshop so she can erase him with some additional greenery.

Anyway. Another early meeting this morning (this week is kicking my butt for those, but at least people will actually be AT this one, unlike the other two). Then more pregnancy videos and grading. Then home and grades and art. Wash Rinse Repeat.

More Than a Little Crazy…

Oh hellz ya a long day. Got to school early for a parent meeting where the parent didn’t show. Always nice. Then taught about pregnancy all day…certainly made about a million times more difficult by the fact that we don’t teach body systems any more. Then did tutoring for an hour, mostly sitting by one girl and listening to her mangle words…talked to her mom (well, mom didn’t speak much English) about having the girl read in English to her mom and her brothers and sisters. She says she doesn’t like to read. I asked about magazines and the library. Mom’s all for it. Drove out to my photographer’s, avoiding traffic (but not dumbasses) for once. Got my quilt…he called it “tame” compared to most of mine. OK then. House cohabitant asked me if it had a woman spreadeagled with vulva in full view or an obvious penis. Holy hell, this quilt IS tame. Interesting, because it doesn’t feel that way to me.

This is Heart-Shaped Box…

The first drawing was done in 2014 and had the two main figures in it.

The fireplace got added earlier this month? I think? No, in mid-April. That’s right. I remember now. I took the trip during Spring Break, and came back and started drawing this full size.

I added the fireplace and the backpack and the figure on the rug then.

The figure on the rug has been sitting in my head since July 2014, when I first drew this.

Weird how my brain works.

Calli is old, but she still plays…she was running around, throwing this up in the air for herself.

Weird dog. Then she slept for a good long while.

So after dinner, I graded for a bit…I can’t really ignore that. And then I finished tracing the new quilt…It took a total of 11 hours to trace the Wonder Under, and I think I did it all in the last week. Minus graduation weekend.

It’s a little less than 4 yards of Wonder Under. I found another double-numbered section. Brain fart.

And then I started cutting them out. If I base it on the last one, it’ll be about 6-7 hours of cutting…so 30 minutes last night…

Two or three tonight and tomorrow night, and hopefully I’ll be done by Friday night…sort them, and start ironing down over the weekend. Sheesh. I really don’t know if I can pull this off.

Simba just wants me to pet him.

Which I did.

I didn’t get far in 30 minutes last night…

More tonight. More of the CRAZY tonight, because this is more than a little crazy. Meanwhile, here I am, up early again, for another meeting (parent will show for this one)…just no repeat on the tutoring and quilt pick up today. I have two other errands instead, plus it’s my turn to cook. Twelve days of school left…

Put Your Money Somewhere It Will Do Good

So this is really early and only vaguely coherent…either that or it’s really late, but still vaguely coherent. I was trying to get myself to bed early last night to get up for this crazy-ass flight this morning, and honestly, I suck at the relax and go-to-bed part of my life, so we’d watched the end of one of the Marvel movies (don’t have to watch TOO hard) and I was tracing Wonder Under (only got to about 720 or so, more on that later) and then stopped drinking tea (don’t attribute my sleeplessness to that…it doesn’t matter…I’ve tried without drinking it and I still am wired until after midnight) and drank a glass of wine and stopped trying to trace and was trying to actually physically walk down the hallway to the bedroom, but I had this Facebook post I wanted to do for one of the groups I’m in, but I was missing one piece of information. So I went to the website to see if I could find it on my own, and I found out (about a month after the fact) that my gun control quilt, Rooted in America, won 2nd place in Fantastic Fibers. Wow. OK. Wasn’t expecting that (isn’t that the best kind of award? Yes. Yes it is.).

But (and I woke up at about 1 AM on this one) I’ve had this tab open on my computer for a GoFundMe that I really wanted to send some money to, but it’s the time of year when I have to make sure I have enough to get through the whole summer with no paycheck, and I’m not sure of that yet, so I was waiting on the donation until I got through the end of school and all the kid expenses etc. before I donated, because maybe it was going to be a significant donation because I think this group is doing really good work and maybe it was not going to be as significant because two months with no paycheck is kinda painful. So now I can gladly send the larger amount…which makes me happy.

So the awesome cause is one I’ve talked about before, Social Justice Sewing Academy. They’re doing a summer program for kids and will be matched dollar for dollar up to $10K. You should check it out here…and give them some money, if you feel up to it. Not only are their quilts amazing, but the kids they work with are our future and we need to get them involved in politics and change for all our sakes. So as soon as that check gets here, I’m pushing most of it back out into the world to do good.

Meanwhile, like I said, I traced some stuff, but not enough…I shall survive.

I started the fourth yard of Wonder Under…

I’m in the 700s…

I misnumbered…again! Pieces 670 to 699, and then I restarted at 670 again. AGAIN. So that’s 29 pieces with a’s on them (all on the back at the moment…hopefully I’ll be able to figure it out in real time when I iron)…plus one that wasn’t even numbered, so it got a b.

I’m leaving 5 animals in the capable hands of this guy…I’m sure he’s up to it, although he’s rethinking it right about now, when all three will start barking at the arrival of the car to take me to the airport…

This one was not sure at all last night as to why there was luggage and Katie (my parents’ dog) and all this hustle and bustle…

They will all be fine. With that, I gotta go get moving.

You Don’t Know Where and You Don’t Know When*

Well, the best-laid plans…you know the rest. Yes, the phone has a new battery…that’s the good news. The bad news was the camera has dust in it and they won’t just clean it out (ugh) and I had to drive to the Apple store twice yesterday, which is not a short distance from here. I survived, of course…even hit monster steps hiking all the way across the mall (fast, without stopping for anything, I hate malls) twice. Or four times, depending on how you look at it. I have today to survive (it’s another hike-across-town day…too many errands), then I need to come home and do laundry and pack, so I can get up in the middle of the night and leave town. I’m trying not to panic about getting grades done…or the next quilt, because I was strangely (WTF was I thinking?) believing I could finish tracing Wonder Under last night. What was I smoking? (I don’t smoke…)

So after dinner and running around the house looking for stuff I’m supposed to take with me (I always take kiddie scissors on the plane and couldn’t find mine, but then ended up finding two OTHER pairs of kiddie scissors AND the two tweezers I’d lost. So now I have three tweezers…is it PAIRS of tweezers or SETS of tweezers or just TWEEZERS plural? What is WRONG with me?), I finally got around to tracing Wonder Under at like 10:30. That was not my plan, but it is what happened.

I forgot to photograph the other fabrics I bought when I got the binding fabric.

I’m actually incapable of buying JUST the binding fabric. It’s crazy to do that. CRAAZY. Probably explains my stash. I don’t actually buy a ton of fabric a year…as you saw on the last one, I’m trying to use up my stash for backings…I do buy backgrounds, sometimes more than one because I can’t decide…but this time, I just bought one. And one binding. And those. Above. Yeah. Well. I like words and weird diagrams and I always need good yellows and pinks and grays and that periodic table just cried out and that brown is a really nice red-brown shade, like the green is a nice mellow medium green. So there’s that.

This is puppy’s face when he might be in trouble.

Notice the person’s sock and the cat’s tail. There were some inappropriate puppy actions going on. He gets snarly.

So back to the tracing. I think I hoped for another 2 1/2 hours last night, but honestly, I don’t think that would have done it anyway. There’s actually 904 pieces, not 800 and something…plus the little ones sometimes take longer to trace.

So even though I did the iPhone and the bird carrying the heart and the entire chest with heart and lungs and veins and arteries, I didn’t get a ton done…I’m at piece 627…so 270 or so pieces left. And that’s a good 3 hours. And I don’t have 3 hours tonight. I need to go to bed early and try to sleep so I can function tomorrow. I suck at sleep, as you well know, and going to bed early is usually a no-go…plus I have to pack and all that crap, so I’m already pushed for time. I may not be able to trace at all tonight…or sleep (oh my, laughing semi-hysterically at that one).

Although tracing is the one thing that’s helping me not grind my teeth at the moment. Does this look like an octopus to you? Well it’s a lot of octopus pieces…

There’s two yards laid out…mostly. I’m still on the 3rd piece…the bottom one is not filled…but there are big arm pieces next and so I’ll need a 4th yard of Wonder Under to get it all done. At least.

And since I won’t be home until late on Monday night, odds are I won’t get anything else done until Tuesday next week. It’s OK. If it doesn’t get done in time, it will still get done and it will still be an awesome quilt. I’m cool with that. Doesn’t mean I won’t go for it…it’s just not going to be the end of the world if I don’t meet that deadline.

*Modest Mouse, World at Large

So Better Take the Keys and Drive Forever*

So I’m set up to deliver the last quilt to the photographer on Thursday, so he can work his magic over the weekend. The deadline is next week, so I’m good. Then I’m going to fly out to see the boychild graduate. It’s a weird feeling to get to that point, not as weird as sending him off to college in the first place, but certainly feeling like OK, that’s it (except it’s not…it never is). I’m proud of him, of both my kids. They work hard. Neither is perfect, but they adult well…hopefully the next steps will work out for them, for what they want. That’s the hard part, though…looking back at my own existence. There were times when the shit was easy, and there were times when stuff was amazing, but there’s hard stuff too. Life is just that. How to get the moments of joy or even just peace out of having to work for a living and clean up cat poop and rush to the hospital and get cars fixed. All that crap. I’m trying to deal with some life insurance stuff, and honestly, I think it’s not really an issue right now, and it’s certainly not something I NEED to deal with while I’m trying to get through the end of school, but try explaining that to insurance agents. Whatever. I just don’t answer the phone (I can’t answer the phone during the day most of the time anyway). I’ll deal with it over the summer. Same with the lawyer I need to talk to. And a bunch of other stuff. It’s hard to look at your kids though and want them to have an easier time of it…it’s not something I can control…can’t even control my own life. I guess there’s a drawing or 10 hiding in that.

I woke up with a monster of a headache and realized I was running out of meds for that. Ugh. Nice start. Early meeting today and then math testing, science meeting, Apple store to try and deal with my dying battery issue. Long day. Come home, dehair and iron the newest quilt and pack it up for the photographer. Buy pain meds. Pack for the trip. Write sub plans. Watch about 5 1/2 hours of videos of students.

But meanwhile, there’s another deadline. There are always deadlines. I should find a way to get them out of my head. Although I’ve been making some amazing pieces on deadlines lately. I wonder if the frenetic need to make is related to work stress. Probably. My reaction is to come home and put my head in art-brain space. I’ve been averaging 15-20 hours a week of art since Spring Break. That’s on top of my 60-hour-a-week job. Yeah. A little nuts. But those 15-20 hours are the ones that keep me sane at this time of year.

So I had already started tracing this one a few weeks back…not sure why…just needed a break. Or I was already mentally debating quitting on the first one, because I didn’t think I could finish it. And then I finished it. So I was already in the 200s in tracing, which is good. I keep forgetting to keep track of where I stopped, but I know last night I finished the legs, did the pubic area, and then the entire abdomen area, intestines and all.

I just started the third yard of Wonder Under. I found 8 pieces I hadn’t numbered…they’re now lettered. But I also found a skip from 370 to 380…so there’s 10 pieces that don’t exist. My brain sometimes…I made it into the 500s. I think there’s only 800 and something pieces in this, so I could finish tonight…maybe. Like I said, long day, already got the headache. But there’s a chance of finishing. I traced for 2 1/2 hours tonight. More realistically, I will probably finish tomorrow night and start cutting out, although tomorrow, I need to go to bed early, so I can get up before it makes sense, fly across the country, and see my kids.

This is what it looks like late at night when Calli wants you to get up and take her out to pee. She sits there until you do it.

She is a good girl.

This is what I’ve been dealing with in sex ed.

I’m still trying to figure out how Yes Means Yes is math. Either he’s a genius or he has a massive learning disorder. I actually do know which it is…I’m just still boggling over that one and the card where a kid asked me if once you had the sex to make the baby, if you wanted another baby, did you have to do the sex again.

Boggled. Absolutely boggled.

Taking my headache to school, where hopefully it will run off in terror.

*Aimee Mann, Humpty Dumpty

A Nuclear Error, but I Have No Fear*

OK, well I managed to finish the current quilt last night, fully two nights earlier than I thought. Basically everything took less time at the end than I thought it would, which is interesting, because the earlier stages seemed slower than similar quilts of that size. It’s all a crapshoot…all the time I keep track of helps me estimate, but it’s never reality. That’s sort of the lesson I get out of life…you can guess what might happen, but life does its thing no matter what.

But first, we walked the dogs…they always need the exercise. So do I. These flowers are out again…they like it damp.

Someone left this by the trail…

After dinner, I sewed bindings and sleeves on for about 2 1/2 hours to finish.

There was a lot of sleeping going on around me.

Only three of the four come out here to sit. And that little gray one wanted to be ON the quilt. I said no. Pins in your butt, cat.

Eventually the two smaller ones left, but the big old lady was tired. And I finished the handwork.

I knew this one needed some ink…so I added that. Although now, looking at the picture, there’s more to do on that.

More cat butt. Cats are funny about whatever you’re working on…need to be right on it or in front of it.

Anyway, it’s done…and now I have to realistically see (or not so realistically, honestly) if I can finish the next one in time. I sort of mapped out time…and then laughed hysterically. Anyway, my plan is to get all the Wonder Under traced this week…and maybe start cutting it out. We’ll see. I’m also supposed to be grading stuff…but we had a major issue realized Sunday night about the websites the kids did. Hopefully we can fix that today quickly (ugh) so I can grade those. Not Panicking. Not Panicking.

I have work showing in Sweden, opening this weekend, part of the Feminism Now show that’s been here in San Diego and up in Los Angeles…mine is the top left…

So if you’re in Stockholm, check it out. I’m not in Stockholm, but a few of the artists are…

One of the things we taught yesterday as part of puberty was in response to the Santa Fe, Texas, shooting. If someone says no, then you’re not entitled to keep harassing them. I also taught about incels…and talked a little about what to do if you are feeling the way that kid must have felt to shoot people because a girl wouldn’t go out with him. Or what to do if your friend is really angry like that. TELL TELL TELL. Or snitch, as my kids call it. I didn’t gender the anger, but saw this quote later…

This world is really difficult sometimes. Especially when you’re trying to get a bunch of 12-year-olds out of vengeance mode…it’s something I’ve heard from them for the last week. If someone does something to them, like bullying, their response is to get back at them. I realize they’re still kids, but y’all need to get out of the video game and into human reality sometimes. And yeah, it’s mostly boys…a couple of girls, but mostly boys. Large disturbed sigh.

Today? Today is long. Teaching menstruation and ejaculation (oh my!) and then a science meeting and then at some point, I’ll be tracing Wonder Under. That’s a long way away though.

*The Clash, London Calling