I Can Paint This Picture Any Way That I See Fit*

Efficiency and balance…two things I’m always working towards…and often fighting like a ninja. I am just like you. I stare at a screen (phone, computer, TV) sometimes, unable to move off the couch (more lately…disheartened). I’d rather read my book or scan stupid articles sometimes than stand up (more standing! after a job where I stand all day) and make art. Sometimes I’m just tired. Sometimes I’m not motivated (deadlines help with that…hence, I just emailed the photographer…on a quilt that’s nowhere near done). I still do this though…this making, creating, pulling apart and putting back together based on the shit in my head. I can’t tell you when the drive to make got so strong…I know it’s gotten stronger than it was when I was a kid…every year…more of a push.

Yesterday, after teaching and prepping for crazy lab days this week (we are going to boil and foam and bubble and explode everything), I drove in traffic and rain across town to pick up my nightstand pieces from that show (that was quick)…and over an hour and a half later (ugh), I got home and started dinner. Fed the dogs. Did some school stuff. And then settled down to the artmaking.

It didn’t take long to iron the head to the rest of the body…

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The bottom’s all rolled up there to get it out of the way. Then I laid it out on one of the possible backgrounds. Now it’s true I was tired, but I probably should have cut the piece a little bigger, because it got a little fussy in the end, trying to fit it on there. Not sure what I was thinking. This piece is all about making shit work, even when I fuck it up.

Flipping the locations of the sun/cloud and the bird worked OK…I had to fuss with it a little to get the bird to fit, but it will be OK. And stitching will give it the detail I want…

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And this morning, the name (so far) popped into my head.

Unfortunately, my sewing chair was already populated…Huh. There’s all these other places she sleeps in my office, but today apparently this was the place. She doesn’t like the other chair, either, so I can’t just move her. She used to sit in the other one…but not since I bought this new one. Not sure why.

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Well. I’ve lived with cats for a long time and sometimes I push them off, but I’m much more likely to adjust to sit with the cat wherever it is. I started stitching down with her there. Eventually she left…but she stayed for a good long time. It’s cold here (for Southern California, that is…), so it’s probably pretty warm stuck behind my butt.

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I didn’t get a ton done, so I will probably still be doing stitch down tonight. I was hoping for pinbaste tonight, but I don’t think I’m going to get that far. I did about an hour and 15 minutes of stitch down last night, and I’m still down in the dirt. So it’s gonna be a while. Finish tonight, then pinbaste Wednesday. Hopefully start quilting Wednesday. I’m crazy if I think that’s going to be quick. The outlining won’t be too bad, but there’s a shitload of background in this thing (reasons to make the image cover the background…less quilting needed). I’m going to guess there’s about 25 hours left in making this quilt…and so it’s a good thing the copyediting job got delayed again, because this needs to be at the photographer just before that starts. So 25 hours in a week and a half, on top of teaching full time and trying to plan through January. Uh huh. Yeah. I can do that (yes, I’m crazy…but honestly, I haven’t been sleeping well…so there’s no point in going to bed early.).

Today, though, first I need to go to school and get ready to set fire to things (seriously…and hopefully not myself). I’m glad I got started on the stitching at least…finally progress on this thing. It’s been a frustrating quilt…I’m ready for it to be done.

*Indigo Girls, Collecting You

Wherever There Is

Hello Monday after a week off from school. Hello tired eyes…my fault for staying up too late working on a project that is trying to fight being finished on multiple levels. And then the coyotes’ fault for howling and yipping and generally driving the puppy bonkers. He does howl, that little beast…while Calli snores on. They’re coyotes, dude. They’re outside. They’re not coming in. We can sleep through that shit. (I personally cannot sleep through puppy howling…or coyotes half the time…but with puppy howling, there is no way I’m sleeping.). So I’m sleep short, for sure. I did manage to finish almost all of my grading last night, leaving the evenings free for artmaking (well, around the other stuff I’ve gotta do, but mostly)…at least until Friday, when they will turn more stuff in. A blissful few days…as it were…because we’re doing some monster labs this week. ‘Twill be a messy few days at least.

So once I figured out that there was no way around the retracing of the head and the cat at least, I did that on Friday…and then Saturday, I did a bunch of Christmas shopping (small business Saturday…hitting all the art events) and started cutting out the new pieces…

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I didn’t get very far, because I went to see Dr. Strange (definitely worth it). See, I’m not totally antisocial. I do stuff.

And yesterday, I worked a good chunk of the day before I was allowed art time.

So what I had to do was lay out the already cut pieces to see what fabrics I’d already chosen, then lay out the corresponding Wonder Under pieces traced the right way round, and then figure out what went where. Pretty easy, actually…

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Once I had them all ironed down (and I had two or three I had to retrace…I had some that I just stole from the other-way-round pile. So if I do make a quilt that is just her head, a small one, I would need another eye piece and cat ears and nose, plus top of head, I think.

Then I sat down and cut them all out. Usually I do that on the couch, but I was in the middle of an episode and it was easier to sit here…

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I just looked at the clock. Shit. Gotta book through this. I laid out all the pieces that needed ironing…

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Found all the scissors I was stockpiling in there and got them together (it’s not even a quarter of the scissors in the house)…

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And I started ironing. Now I probably should have stopped here. About. Because this was midnight.

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Ah well. There goes midnight. Kept going.

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I love the face fabric. Ironed the eye separately…

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And put it where it belonged.

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Head done. Not ironed to body yet. Whole mess not ironed down to background yet (things that were supposed to be done last Wednesday). Tonight…iron together and start stitch down. Tomorrow finish stitch down and maybe pinbaste. Quilting by Wednesday. Binding on over the weekend. Need to email photographer.

I did stop to throw balls for dogs. Simba left his at the other end of the hallway and is too scared of Calli to run by her and get it because Calli (despite that goofy smile) growls and then tries to steal the ball from him. Meanie.

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So that’s where I’m at. Significantly behind still, but getting there. Wherever there is. No music this morning for some reason (I was on hold with one of the college payment plans…woo hoo!).

This Ain’t Gonna Work*

Well. So. I ironed for about 7 hours yesterday until I realized I’d made a major mistake two steps back. I’m not even sure how I pulled it off. It’s funny, though…I can go back through the blog and see when I made the mistake…it was the day after the election. For some unknown reason, I flipped the drawing over and kept on tracing, but now everything was backwards from before. I have a light table because you have to trace the Wonder Under upside down so when you iron it to the back of the fabric, everything will be facing forwards again. So I did it right until I got to the head. And then I flipped it. For no apparent reason. Wednesday the 9th. Wow. OK.

Anyway, I didn’t figure that out until last night around 9 PM. When I was so close to done. Sigh. Giant ass sigh.

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Uterus in purple and red…legs going into the water…

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Kitten in one of her sleeping spots…

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Prosthetic arm balancing the ever-present cup of tea…and trying to catch that lost eyeball.

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There’s some weird stuff in this quilt…

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The other arm has a giant cell on it…

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And around 9 PM, I started the hair and went. Wait. Fuck. That’s backwards.

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Dammit. I’ve done it before. In fact, I have one entire quilt that is backwards. A full-size one. But to do it midway? Shit. So I was sitting there, head in hands, trying to process. Because it was the last 300 pieces. I hate to waste fabric. And time. So I ironed the sun/cloud combo…

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And I ironed the bird. So the sun would still work on the left side of the body…it was a little different, but I would be the only one who knew. Well, except I just told y’all.

The bird though…not gonna work. Orientation is all wrong. So that’s another 150 pieces or so…I mean, the head had to be retraced because the shoulders and hair wouldn’t work going the other direction. Same with the cat. So that was already 100 pieces.

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I didn’t want to retrace the bird. So at the moment, this is the plan. Flip the bird and cloud locations. I don’t think that will be an issue.

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But I had to retrace about 100 pieces…

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And I did that. And cut them out. Last night. Today, I’ll iron them down to fabric…and cut them out and iron them together. Dammit. Because I was going to be done with the ironing yesterday. Shit. I guess it makes sense that a quilt about time would fuck with MY time. And now you know how much the election affected me. Yeah. Well.

You know what sucks? Colleges deciding midyear to change housing/food costs, so you need to come up with an additional $700 right after the holidays. With no warning. Dudes. This is why I do that payment plan thing…so I can PLAN for it. Fuckers.

Speaking of a plan. I need to do that. For my quilts. It’s in my head. I just wrote it on the whiteboard on my studio door. I’m crazy. You might as well know that now. I’m hoping for four new quilts for the show…which would be fine, if they didn’t need titles, sizes, and photos by April 28. Yeah. I’m working on it. That’s about one a month.

Still trying to get the dogs to be cozy together. Previous to this, Calli was smelling Simba’s privates. Which dogs do. And he lets her, because she’s big and scary. To him. She’s a Golden…she’s really not that scary to most living beings. She’s scared of the cats.

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Yesterday morning, we worked on these trees. Which are on my neighbor’s property, but up on his slope. We’ve trimmed them before, with his permission. But they’re putting the house on the market, so that’s fun (both houses on either side of me selling in one year’s time after 18 years of the same neighbors). The trees block my view of the mountains…so we try to trim them to deck railing height every 5 years or so. I think it’s been longer this time.

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Now when I say we, I should really admit that my job is to stand on the deck and say “cut that. No, there.” while throwing balls or sticks for the dogs. My ex climbs into the trees and I ask where his health insurance card is and make sure the phone is ready to call 911. Because that shit scares the crap out of me. Yes. He has a chainsaw up there. He’s fucking nuts.

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And then we hauled it all back to my property…but here’s my view! The trees will bush out again…and that one roof is ugly as shit…but there’s the mountains! Yay.

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So that was productive. We also took out a volunteer tree that will never be a real tree. It’s a tree weed. But now I can hope the new neighbors are not loud noisy assholes. The guy above me and his cigars. Sigh. I hate that people don’t realize their bad habits affect their neighbors. Then again, I sew in the middle of the night.

Trying to make up for the stupid head stuff that messed up the quilt. Well. I will deal with that. And then start drawing. Well, there’s that school shit I need to do too. Ugh. And Christmas gifts. I started early, which is good, but it’s never early enough.

I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t put all the fabrics away that I used in this quilt, because I’m going to need them again. I hope I have enough of all of them. Eek. One of the flesh fabrics was pretty devastated…hopefully not the face fabric. I think all the grays are OK.

And yes, I will probably iron the wrong-facing face together and do something with it. Like I said, I hate to waste fabric. Those Depression-era sentiments passed down from Grandma through Mom…although I don’t save my tin foil. I do save rubber bands and twist ties though. OK Kathryn…focus. Yup. That app…read the quote. Sometimes I think it knows me.

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Because the mistake isn’t the end of the world, now is it? It was just hard to take last night. And now that I know where my head was when I made it, I just want to give myself a hug.

*Glass Animals, Gooey

Everything’s in Order in a Black Hole, Part 2*

Running late again. I started this earlier and then deleted what I’d wrote…don’t even remember why. I am NOT shopping today. No way. Got art to make, shit to grade. I’m way behind. Don’t want to deal with people for a while. Sorry people.

That said, I did start ironing yesterday and it was good. Sure, it was Thanksgiving as well and I did head out for dinner, but most of the day was here…grading stuff…and ironing.

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A hundred pieces laid out in piles of ten.

Look. It’s a mole. I think I did a mole once or twice before, but this one is particularly cute. And tiny.

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So many of my quilts start down in the dirt…

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This one is a little different because of the hole in the middle…I think I got all this done before I left for dinner…

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Kitten sleeps in my studio/office with me. She’s back in that box again today, but facing the other direction.

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When I got back from dinner and laid around for a bit (because that’s what Thanksgiving dinner does to you), I started ironing again…some water…

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And then I pulled that whole section up off the ironing sheet and rolled it up and set it aside. I’ll come back to it.

Then a volcano with a dinosaur.

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And legs…from the part in the water up to the hips…

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That’s where I quit…at around midnight. I didn’t want to start on the next bits because it would get complicated. So that’s where I’ll start this afternoon, I guess. I wish I could say I’d be done with the ironing today, but I think that’s a long shot. Maybe tomorrow…then stitch down. This thing is gonna be tight. If I can get it done in time at all. Ironically, it’s for a show about time. OK, then. Yeah. This time of year, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it just kicks my butt.

Here’s puppy waiting for a tummy rub…he doesn’t usually show his belly…

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Sorry about the private parts…his are fairly well hidden for a boy though. He’s a fairly atypical boy dog. He thinks he’s half cat for one, and I’m not sure about the rest.

OK. Well. I’m going to go carve my personal turkey (I made one for turkey sandwiches) and then come in here and iron. I’m debating walking the dogs as well, but I’d probably have to make that decision pretty soon. Ugh. Not in the mood for making decisions even. How you KNOW you need a real vacation. Funny. Someone asked me last night about vacations, but those are so outside my reality right now. Sigh. Some day.

*Arctic Monkeys, Fluorescent Adolescent (I love that I picked the exact same line in this song…)

Into Pieces Over Reasons*

This is a weird Thanksgiving. My kids are both together in Boston. My parents are at Arrowhead. My brother and his family are in Seattle. And I’m here. With the dogs and the cats. I needed the time though. Still do. I’m so far behind…and I know how bad the three weeks between Thanksgiving and Winter Break are for teachers…so I’m more than a little panicked.

That panic made me grade stuff yesterday. I still have some more to do…some today for sure. I realized the next progress reports are due in like two weeks. Because they’re trying to kill us, I think. Whatever. I woke up this morning with a massive headache…there’s some weather coming in (hot Santa Ana winds…not snow) and that does mess with my head…but my eye sockets are pounding. This is not good. I’ve got some meds in me and I’m drinking tea. We’ll see if that kicks it.

I did better yesterday in the efficiency games (Think Hunger Games without the killing). The grading was part of it…and I’m still two days behind where I wanted to be on the quilt. I can’t really explain that. I did finish cutting out though…10 hours total…

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And then later, I sorted them all. That was about an hour.

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I couldn’t bring myself to start ironing though. I was tired from being woken up early by American Airlines calling me to tell me the boychild’s flight had been moved yet again. I hope he has an easier time getting back to school.

So I do want to start ironing today. But no way am I going to finish in one day, not with Thanksgiving dinner in the middle of that. And tomorrow, I’m supposed to be helping do my own yardwork. So that’s going to cut into ironing time. Plus I bid on another copyediting job. Because I’m crazy. That’s why. Because I’m afraid there won’t be enough money to pay all the bills. That’s why.

I think ironing will take at least 12 hours. Who knows. Maybe I’ll be really efficient. Ha. This week. Not an efficiency tale.

I washed the puppy. He was muddy from the weekend. And then I trimmed a giant knot out of his butt hair. Pomeranians are the worst-designed dogs ever.

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He doesn’t like water. He gets the rips (an original doggie blow dryer) and rubs his body all over the carpet.

I also made brine for the turkey I bought for myself. Yup. I’ll cook it tomorrow and pull the meat off for turkey sandwiches. I’ll freeze half of it so it’ll last a goodly portion of December. I did this last year too. I’m a little weird that way. But I love post-Thanksgiving turkey sandwiches.

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The dogs played a lot yesterday. Although I think this is Calli trying to sleep while Simba tries to play.

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Certainly they sleep well together…

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Turkey brining away.

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So I’m thankful for time to make art. Thankful for a break from school. Thankful I could get the kids together at least. Thankful that someone will take me in for dinner tonight. Thankful for working internet. Thankful for a warm sunny day…although I would also be thankful for rain. Thankful for sleeping in this morning (let’s not talk about the middle-of-the-night raccoon barking fit). Thankful for music. Thankful for Netflix. Thankful for the animals. Thankful for tea. Thankful for my sketchbook and a handful of pens. Thankful for the 1000-page book that I feel like I’ve already read but I’m reading again? Except I don’t know when or how I would have already read it. But it sounds so familiar. That’s it for now…

*21 Pilots, Forest

Even If the Skies Get Rough*

Aargh. So I was not very efficient yesterday. I could blame missing the kids, I could blame post-school brain. I could just say…hey…sometimes I can’t do what I need to do. I did walk the dogs. That was good.

And I started one drawing…just in pencil, because it’s not very high on the list. It’s just in my head, so I needed to start something.

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I don’t usually start in pencil, but I needed to for this one.

Then I started one that’s been in and out of my head for about a month…maybe more.

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This will be part of my solo show at Visions next year. I’d like to get it to a point tonight where I can enlarge it to draw the rest…because no way is it going to fit on one piece of paper. I guess I could enlarge it now…maybe. I’ll think about it.

I was supposed to spend all day yesterday cutting out pieces and then starting the ironing process. That didn’t happen.

If you walk dogs, they sleep.

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I spent about an hour with Expedia and the kids trying to reroute the boychild to the girlchild. I couldn’t make it work last night, so he’s going today. Hopefully. If the universe doesn’t fuck with us again.

I did eventually start cutting stuff out…

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And honestly, I got a lot done. All that’s left are the flesh fabrics and the sun and clouds. That’s not much, but it was more than an hour’s worth, I think. So I didn’t finish it last night. Puts me behind. Sigh. Giant sigh, actually. I still need to actually grade things. So I’m going to try to double up my efficiency today to make up for yesterday’s brain.

I miss my kids. Did I say that already? Yeah. Well. Three weeks. They’ll be home then. I can do that. And hopefully sometime today I’ll start ironing this thing together. It’s easier to stay on task when I’m ironing than when I’m cutting stuff out. Cutting just feels like it takes forever. And it doesn’t.

*Jason Mraz, I Won’t Give Up

Please Don’t Bother Trying to Find Her*

The reality is that if you leave me alone long enough with the furry beasts, I will start having long philosophical discussions with them. I’m particularly perturbed that none of them thought it was their civic duty to vote in the last election. I believe I have chastised them appropriately and that will not be the case in 2020. Of course, it’s too late now. They understand that. They are sorry. They will do better next time.

I have to admit that I’m not getting much but art stuff done. I don’t feel like grading things. I don’t feel like yardwork. I don’t feel like anything.

I did about 8 hours of artmaking yesterday, in between…um…what? Well I ran two whole errands. And I cooked a little. But that’s about it. Thanksgiving break is always like this…it’s not really long enough to recover from school AND be a productive human again. So we try to recover and manage all the family stuff, which this year, isn’t much. Last year, I was in Seattle this week…so no artmaking then. I could have gone there again this year, but honestly just needed to hunker down, finish this piece, and start the next five. I think it really is five too. Crazy.

I finished ironing the Wonder Under down to fabric in about 13 hours…way longer than it should have taken for 800 pieces, but whatever. I’m sure there was a good reason.

I made a small body cell in the last piece…and I used ALL the colors.

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The last thing I ironed was the cat…

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The fabric cat…not a real one…

Here’s all 117 fabrics…also more than I would normally use in an 800-piece quilt.

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Not a lot of blue…a lot of gray and brown.

I guess I did clean up the light table. And then I went through the drawings to see if there was another bathtub drawing in there (yes…but I don’t know if I want to make it next…I think it should wait.). And I cut a 24-inch square of paper for a piece that needs to be done in March or April…can’t remember which. I need to look at the calendar and make some quilt plans too. Maybe I will do that today. It’s finally sunny. I could sit out and draw today. Maybe.

It was cold last night, so when I finally sat down to start cutting pieces out, I had three animals at one point…some WAYYYY too close.

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They kept moving around. Occasionally dog parts would be on my lap.

Simba needs a bath…but I’m waiting until it warms up a bit during the day before I do it to him.

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Like maybe today.

So then I cut stuff out for hours…well, 4 1/2 hours anyway. Which explains why my hand hurts this morning.

I got a lot cut out…although it never looks like much, does it? Trash in the top one, stuff that still needs cutting in the middle one, and cut-out stuff in the bottom one.

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My goal today is to finish that and start ironing it together. Finish ironing tomorrow and get to stitch down? Maybe? I hope so. Quilt Thursday? I should check the batting stash, huh. (check. Got batting.) The binding will be another issue, but hopefully that will be Friday. Maybe. I’m still debating the weekend. The copyediting job got kicked until mid-December (not looking forward to having three fewer weeks to complete it)…so Saturday might be a drive and a dinner and another drive. Still debating that.

I’m totally taking the dogs for a walk today though. A long one. Out in the middle of nowhere. Because they need it and so do I. Although the one outside barking at me is currently standing in a pool of water…like that makes sense. I suspect I should also do laundry. I did buy a turkey. I’m going to start brining it today I think. Maybe do that and then walk the dogs. I got a lunch invite. Not sure I’m in the mood for that. I’d have to find the part of my brain that socializes appropriately. Not sure where I put that. Mislaid for the holidays.

*The Zombies, She’s Not There

Blue, the Color of Our Planet*

My brain wakes up at 6, panicking because I forgot to set the alarm for school. Then it slowly realizes, as the cat mews at me, that it’s not a school day. Relax. Go back to sleep. It’s amazing how fast that happened. The re-sleep part. Really I need some major sleep catchup this week. My brain is tired.

I’m perturbed by the crap in North Dakota. In fact, any time some white person complains about immigration or immigrants or refuges, I wanna slap them across the face and explain how we weren’t here first, you dumbass. Peaceful protest…pouring water over them in freezing temperatures. That’s torture. Nobody in the US should be doing that. This is their sacred land. More importantly, the pipeline will inevitably damage their water supply. But hey! The Texas company will get their oil. Screw the damn environment, right? Sigh. Frustrating to watch and know how little I can do. I think that’s the biggest problem right now…feeling like you can’t do anything that will cause major change.

This quilt…Earth Day…I drew it years ago. Something about Earth Day and how we do it one day a year, celebrate the planet, while we spend the rest of the time trying to destroy it. And Earth Mother is yelling, Knock It Off…like that’s going to stop in the next four years. I think this was just after the Japanese earthquake and tsunami…there were two of them (quilts, not earthquakes).

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So we art on. We post shit. We send postcards. We march. We sign up. We fill out polls. We talk. We argue. We art on.

I did about 3 hours again yesterday, I think…no, closer to 4…I’m about 10 hours in on the ironing. It’s taking longer than I expected…or planned for. Oh well. It takes what it takes. My time management app is no longer being updated, so it sucks phone battery like crazy. I’m still looking for a replacement, one that doesn’t charge me monthly…because I’m not a business. I did pay a fee for this one, but just once. I guess once businesses got in on the time tracking idea as an app, the market rose to the occasion. So I’m still looking for one that will do what I want and not cost me a lot.

Here’s what ironing a heart looks like…one of two in the whole piece.

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There were a lot more of those inner body pieces than I thought. I ironed a heart, lungs, arteries, a mammogram, a metal arm, a watch, her hair (there was a lot of that), the sun, a cloud, some rain, a uterus (like you do)…but I still wasn’t done.

Here’s the pile of stuff ready to be cut out.

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I still have a giant tattoo of a cell, some tools, a teacup, an eyeball…well, more than one eyeball…and the bird up in the sky. And a cat. It’s at least another 3 hours, I think.

Here’s the pile of stuff I used before I cleaned it up. Added some more reds and purples and oranges and greens and grays. Lots of gray in this.

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Then I cleaned up, so I could see them clearly today. I added some yellows too. Forgot them.

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So I’m still working on it. It’s raining here today. I was hoping for some nice pretty, semi-warm days of sitting on the deck and drawing…it seems I might get that later this week, but not today. Today is a hunker-down in the studio day. We need the rain. It’s good.

Simba did not appreciate having the plumbago removed from his tail last night. Grandma is very patient with him…

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I’m actually spending most of my morning managing animals today. Gonna change that.

*Regina Spektor, Blue Lips

Gonna Go to the Place That’s the Best*

I know. I usually post Saturday morning. And not Sundays. But I was working with (aka following around like a puppy trying to figure shit out) the internet fixer-upper guy for over an hour yesterday to get all the pieces of equipment to talk to each other politely and consistently. He was worth every damn penny, because now everything works. Well. Until the kids get home probably, although we tested kid scenarios as well. We ran videos and Netflix in three rooms at once. So. For now, it will work.

And then I thought about writing, but I had made absolutely no art since Thursday night, so what was the point in writing about nothing? Or writing about the fact that I was on vacation, a whole week off the crazy. Honestly, I flailed about for a bit, and then managed to get my butt in here and iron stuff for over three hours. So that was nice. My brain appreciated it. Such a relief.

It took about 30 minutes before my brain fully kicked off the fuzz and detritus of school (I do still have shit to grade…let’s not kid ourselves. School cannot totally be written off, but I can certainly try to ignore it for a few days).

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Ironing the flesh and bones was a bit more complicated. There were scars and cracks, all the purples. There were only 5 actual flesh colors. And then three bone colors. I lay them all out, pulling from multiple bins, until I have all the fleshy bits on a fabric. It takes a while…I think the flesh pieces started in the 100s and finished in the 600s.

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And then I iron all of them down. Which takes a long time.

So although I’m in the 600s on the bottom part of the table, the two top rows are all the things on or near the body that aren’t supposed to be flesh-colored…like hearts and lungs and a mammogram and a bunch of other crap. Eyeballs. Teeth. So all those need to be ironed down, and that’s usually pretty time-consuming.

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So as much as I’d like to say that I’m up to the 600s, that’s not really true.

These pieces used up almost all of what I had left of this fabric.

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There’s what’s been ironed so far. I think I need a bigger box.

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And everything I’ve used so far…

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Kitten’s got it right. This is some of what I did yesterday, until the phone rang. Some survey. Nope. Not unless I can nap through it. Think I need another one today. Nap. Not a survey. I don’t ever really need a survey. Although I did this one; you should do it too. Interestingly, there were a couple of things where I actually agreed with our future Asshole-in-Chief. Like childcare and eldercare. But mostly he’s crazy. Nucking Futs as one friend says.

Sleep, Kitten. I’m sure he has issues with calicoes too, but I will protect you when they try to send you to an internment camp for your differences.

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My sarcasm abounds.

My goal is to iron more tonight, hopefully all of it, but probably not. Depends on how efficient I am, I guess. Finish ironing tomorrow and cut stuff out. Try not to read anything political for a day. Ha. Yeah. I know. Well women aren’t smart enough to understand what they’re reading, right? (Hello, Breitbart, I’m talking to you.) Oh holey moley. Sometimes it’s hard to just have a conversation with people without everyone getting angry or sad. Amazing that an election can do that.

OK. Gonna iron. Not gonna nap. Will drink more tea instead. I can nap when I’m dead. I think.

*Norman Greenbaum, Spirit in the Sky

Into the Sea of Waking Dreams*

It’s a survival day. I’m tired, I’m emotional (for a variety of reasons, none of them particularly clear or definitive), the kids are psychotic (anyone who’s ever been on a school campus the day or so before a week off knows what this looks like…it’s worse than the day after Halloween), and I just want it to be done. I want everything to just stop for a while and leave me alone so I can think. And maybe read my book. Because it’s good but really long and I want to finish it before the damn library steals it back from me. It’s digital, so they can actually do that, instead of my just holding on to it for an extra few days to finish it. There’s over 1000 pages in it, so that doesn’t help.

I had an artists’ talk last night…I know my brain slowed down enough that I couldn’t remember the phrase “free association”. Amusingly. Some guy came up afterward and asked if that’s what I had meant. Sure. Yeah. Couldn’t free associate free association. It was a hard lesson to teach yesterday, mostly because I knew I was being observed in my last period, which is notoriously one of my worst, but also because some days I only barely have an understanding of what I’m teaching (as I’m quickly googling sublimation because I kinda know what it is, but not well enough to explain it to 7th graders). By the end of the day, though, I had reminded myself of stuff I used to teach that was related to what we were doing…and it helped.

But exhausted. That’s the place I was…and still am. So tired it hurts to hold my eyelids up. And I can’t get the puppy to come inside this morning. He just wants to be out and running around and digging at something that was out in the yard last night. I can’t leave him out all day because of coyotes, so he’s got to come back in. Fuck.

I’m nowhere near where I wanted (needed?) to be on this quilt dammit. And that basically means I need to finish everything before Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. Yeah. I know. That’s crazy talk. OK, maybe I can still have binding to hand sew at that point. So Saturday through Thursday. Probably another 8 hours of ironing, then say 6 hours of cutting, another 10 hours to iron it together, then stitch down of about 4 hours (I am totally making this shit up), then sandwich and pinbaste for an hour, then quilt for 6 hours. Sew binding on is another 2 hours for the non-handsewing part. Ha! 36 hours. OK. That’s only like 7 hours a day. Shit. OK. Sigh. It’s good to see that out in front of me.

I did iron a little bit last night…added some purples and yellows…

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Found those silly dirt pieces from the night before.

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Still need to decide what color the dinosaur is going to be.

I was tired.

Thing is, on a good day, I can work on art for 10+ hours…so maybe I just need to aim for that. And ignore the fact that I do have stuff to grade. And the house is a mess. And I have a copyediting job that’s showing up. Minor issue.

I’m still trying to persuade the dogs that it is warmer together (yeah, I had two cats with me last night in bed), but they are both wary of each other…

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Simba loves Calli’s bed and wishes he could sleep on it all night (he can’t, because he’s a destructive barky asshole at night). If Simba’s on the bed, Calli comes running to me to complain about the interloper. I try to tell her how BIG she is and how she should just lie down next to him, but it takes me forcing the issue for it to happen.

OK. 1. Survive today without crying in front of students (wow. That sounds pitiful.). 2. Make art like a crazy woman. 3. Meditate regularly. 4. Go out in nature and hike around with dogs. 5. Sleep more. 6. Fix and clean everything. Seems like a good plan for the week off.

*Sarah McLachlan, Possession