Like Spun Glass in Sore Eyes*

I’m kinda losing track of things at the moment…sitting here looking out the office window where the leaves keep falling (because it’s Fall? Not yet in Southern California…we’ll hit 100 again before the month is out, for sure), wondering how some days go so quickly I can’t even breathe, don’t even see them slip past. Yesterday was like that…zip! And it was gone. There are pros and cons to that of course…some parts of the day were unbearably long. Lunch is never long enough, nor prep long enough to get it all done. Sleep is never freaking long enough for anything.

It’s something to do with September, I think…even without kids’ back-to-school nights and packets full of paperwork and new soccer seasons, this month impresses on me some level of urgency. I wish it would stop so I could just watch the leaves fall and wonder why they do that when it still looks and feels like summer. Look! There goes another one. It’s not even yellow. Green leaves falling. Stress from last week’s heat? Perhaps. It’s still a marker of time in my brain. FALL.

I did some of this last night, lower left corner again, some chain stitch in some color I can’t remember…a green with a pink in it, I think.

Even Pandora is playing all wistful mopey music.

Still not sure about this quilt. But it continues. Last night, I got lungs, hair, octopus tentacles, and bullets ironed down.

I lost one of the octopus tentacles, so I redrew it…and then found it in the next box. I usually check, but this time I didn’t. Mistake. I also figured out where the unnumbered piece belonged. I had traced it but forgotten to write a number on it. That time I had gone through the next three boxes looking for it…and then glanced at the table, where the lonely unnumbered pieces go. And there it was…409…in all its glory. It was the right shape.

Leaves falling 5 and 6 at a time. There’s no wind…just leaves dropping straight down, twirling a bit as they plummet to the ground. I won’t sweep or rake them up…I let them decay where they are. Well, except for the 700 leaves that fell in the pool over the weekend. I tried getting most of those out yesterday.

It’s funny, I try to find an hour or so a day to make art…some days, like yesterday, I’m over 2 hours in and trying to negotiate a later bedtime with my brain so I can keep going, until the mom brain reminds me what it’s like to teach 7th graders metrics and measurement on not-enough sleep (oh yeah. bad.). So I’m 8 hours into the ironing and hoping more will happen tonight, but also I need to deal with the 720 emails from students yesterday and last night (it’s OK…they’re making up work because I explained yesterday how to fix those Not-A’s) and food and the gym is on my to-do list. So I can read my book. OK, also because I need to go to the gym. I do actually like the gym. I just like artmaking more.

With that, I need to book out of here early to deal with stuff…but I did get through all of the 300s and into the 400s, but not very far. I’m doing the weird arm in the middle and then starting on the other figure in the quilt. I’m not quite halfway, but I’m close. That’s something.

*Elliott Smith, Coming Up Roses

Pulling Your Puzzles Apart*

It’s funny…I thought I would have all this time yesterday to iron, but grading took forever, plus we walked the dogs in the much cooler weather. Yeah. This dog…

The clouds were low and it was in the 70s…a huge change from 109 on Saturday.

There’s an endangered bird species or two who live here…it’s nice that someone makes their homes decorative.

We tried a new way back, one we won’t try again, because it goes past a variety of sewage treatment areas.

Plus at some point it’s just a paved road. Not my first choice, although this piece of equipment was pretty.

I graded for a couple of hours after that, then cooked dinner and did something on this. Hmmm. French knots in the bottom left, in a variegated thread this time.

And because we were trying to finish watching the first episode of Ozark and I can’t just sit and watch TV, I kept sewing parts down for the next month’s worth of Folk Tails.

I think I made eyeballs too.

Finally to the ironing! I finished ironing down all the pieces of flesh from the day before.

Which probably took close to an hour. And then I started on all those pieces that weren’t flesh but were in the body…there were a ton of pieces in the heart this time, and many more arteries/veins…so the reds were more extensive than normal.

I don’t feel like I got much done really…just the eyeballs and one tattoo and the bloody stuff. I still have parts of the face, the lungs, the octopus tentacles coming off her hand, and another tattoo.

I started the bullet trails through her head, but didn’t get to the bullets. They’re lined up on the bottom. Anyway. I’m almost 6 hours into the ironing and I still haven’t gotten to the 400s…some of them are in the hair too. So I guess that will be tonight. I hope. I suspect 15 hours for the ironing is a good estimate…although I hope it will be less. Maybe by the end of the week? This is a tough week…back-to-school night will kick my ass. We’ll see.

Here’s the pile of pieces that are ironed plus the fabrics before I organized them…

I’m trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour (ha!), which just means midnight instead of 1 AM. So I’ve been watching the clock and making myself stop.

Here’s what I’ve used so far in fabrics…the flesh run on the left at the back of the box…and a ton of reds.

I have to remember that I have tutorial today after school, so exhaustion will be high. But I don’t have to cook dinner tonight…so that’s exciting. No really, it is.

*Coldplay, The Scientist

A Stain on My Notebook*

It’s muggy here. And still hot…not as hot as yesterday, when the breeze felt like you were standing too close to a fire. It makes it hard to get anything done. And then the wind picked up; you’d think that would be good, but it was hot and I was trying to sort Wonder Under…the wind was strong enough to pick up pieces out of the boxes and whirl them around. This morning, the wind is gone (although there’s still a wind advisory out), and there’s the trickle of occasional light rain. That part is nice. Sitting here with two cats not real keen on each other’s existence, but tolerating it because of catnip treats and I guess my presence. But we’re still sweaty and uncomfortable and trying to stay semi-cool and hydrated. Ugh. This heat sucks my brain out and spits it on the tile.

I saw 109 degrees later…it’s interesting though, because I don’t doubt the effects of climate change, but it’s been that hot here before…so I can see San Francisco’s temperatures as an indicator of climate issues, but this is semi-normal for us. The humidity isn’t normal though.

That said, heat or no heat, I finished the damn trimming of the Wonder Under…ironically, so now I can iron in the heat. Laughing about that.

It’s a pretty full box. There are lots of big pieces that take up space.

I keep putting stuff out for the hummingbirds. They appreciate it in this heat.

I had both dogs on the couch with me…because it’s hot as hell and it makes sense to lie on a couch OR on mom when it’s hot.

Calli looks like this when she wants to go out. I suspect this was a request to go in the pool rather than to pee. I understand.

The next step is to sort all the pieces by 100s so they’ll be easier to deal with at the ironing stage. Satchemo was occupying the light table though.

It’s interesting though that once you start putting these bins out and gently pushing them toward a cat, they often get offended and just move. I did leave him room, but this is about when the wind picked up.

It didn’t take long to sort them…about 40 minutes. Because there are only 800 and something pieces instead of 2000. Note to self!

I did go to the fabric store and stare at a bunch of possibilities with the drawing in my head, trying to make a decision. NOT a dark blue! I ended up with a gray brown…an interesting color that looks brown against most grays and gray against most browns. Lighter than I usually go as well. So my goal is to start ironing down some time today…honestly, probably tonight, because I’ve got a bunch of grading to get through plus some other stuff around here. I do need to clean up in here too…to put all the fabrics away from the last quilt. That will take about an hour. And I might need to move some cats.

I did two nights’ worth last night…the wavy buttonhole stitch in yellow in the bottom left and the leaf shapes in lazy daisies in the bottom right. I’m trying to fill in all the bottom bits, I guess. This is 245 days in…120 days to go. So 2/3s of the way through the year. Interesting.

I guess I thought it would be more filled in by now.

We were watching Logan, meaning I was stuck in the living room (which is not where the fabric is), so I stitched some wool bits down on the right.

This is April…the month I should have done before starting May. I have two more blocks to stitch down wooly bits on, and I think I need to cut out more eyeballs. I usually have a bag of them already cut out, but I can’t find it, so I’m guessing I used them all. I found eyeball fabric though, so I’m fine. Stitching the wooly bits down is my least favorite part of these. And I think once I finish stitching these down, I need to cut out the next batch of block pieces. But none of these are crucial.

Ah…a cool breeze smelling of wet dirt. Now that is bliss. I could live with that for a while. And one of my favorite parts of quiltmaking starts today with ironing to fabric. Yah. That’s a good weekend.

*Squeeze, Black Coffee in Bed

Glitter on the Mattress*

Do you ever spend all day checking your email obsessively, waiting to hear about that one thing you really wanna know about? Did you get in? Were you rejected? Well, was your work rejected? After 30 years of entering shows, I don’t really worry about rejections. They happen. A lot. And that’s OK. But sometimes I just wanna know. It’s not even the end of the world if it’s a rejection…you just wanna know one way or another.

I have all these mental deadlines for my art, everything neatly spaced out and organized in the calendar in my head, and then things come in and blow that all out. I thought about one art invite for about 12 hours and then decided no. Not for me. The other one though…sigh. I’m a little irritated, although I have yet to see deadlines…it just wasn’t on my calendar and I’m not sure I want to shove it in there. I have this quilt, then one other, and then hopefully a commission. I won’t plan past that right now because I can’t. But it does mean I need to stay on task, on top of the work. Which I can do. I don’t have a lot of mental down time between quilts because there are always about 50 of them in my head and even in process in sketchbooks or already copied. I remember the days when it might take weeks to get the next one going. That is no longer the case. And I’m OK with that. I like the work being there all the time in some form or another.

I currently have this one I’ve been working on…hopefully getting the Wonder Under all cut out today, deciding what the background fabric will be, and starting the ironing onto fabric this week. Then there’s the smaller climate quilt…it’s all cut out of Wonder Under and ready for ironing as well…it’s been sitting around since June or so, and it will keep sitting around for a while. Then I have at least three or four drawings that have been enlarged and numbered and are ready for tracing. And another two or three drawings that are enlarged and partially drawn. Plus quite a few drawings in the sketchbooks I have lying around.

Ironically, I haven’t drawn the next quilt yet…but if that takes me a while to process, like the last one, I can do some part of one of the ones lying around. This is my meditation, my relaxation, my happy happy joy joy.

I have almost 6 hours into cutting out here…

Probably have 2-3 hours to go…I’m binge watching The Crown now. Finished Hinterland. This quilt brought to you by Brit tv.

Satchemo is still adjusting…and the other two cats have kind of been pushed out of this room, hopefully temporarily.

I had gaming last night, but I finished this one on the right…

And started working on this one, but because I’m doing May before April (for no real good reason), I was missing two threads that came in April and were in my other box. But I worked on the leaves and came home and found the other threads.

I really should do things in order.

See? Now he’s taken over the light table…also Kitten and Midnight’s domain. We’re working on sharing spaces…

Here’s the 10 completed blocks…

This is Sue Spargo’s Folk Tails…it’s a pretty fun stitch, with lots of different embroidery going on. Plus animals. This is what I do when my other stuff is not portable and I have to go places and either keep awake or stitch with friends. None of it is quick to finish, but I’m OK with that.

So a long weekend. I have 4 things to grade (ugh. already) and I need to clean up the studio so I can pick fabrics and I want to sit on the deck and draw but it’s still uber hot today and tomorrow it’s supposed to rain so that might have to wait until Monday and there’s errands and cleaning and who knows wtf else. And I miss my kids. Boychild is hiking again and girlchild is idk, but if I ask her, she’ll tell me. Anyway, must eat and get cutting stuff out…try to focus a bit on art stuff today. Maybe school can wait.

*The B-52’s, Love Shack

See Inside, Inside of Our Heads*

The heat is supposed to break soon…maybe Sunday. We’ve had a couple thunderstorms move through this week, which are nice to break the temperature with a little rain, although there’s fire danger…but Calli, the Golden Retriever, has been frantic by the time we get home. Yesterday she had clambered behind my ex’s dryer, destroying the vent and who knows what else back there. I’m not even sure how she got in there, with a sink pipe in the way…or how long she’d been there when I got to her. I spent a goodly portion of the night trying to calm her…

I worry about her when I hear the thunder and I’m at work, but there’s really nothing we can do. He has places for her to hide, but she goes to the extreme. Considering building some sort of really sturdy soft fort for her to hide in. Not sure if she would though…that’s the problem. Or if we’d come back and she’d have destroyed it, and be cowering in it, unable to escape. Poor puppy.

I did a line of French knots in the bottom left corner. Maybe I’ll do more…

I didn’t cut stuff out until late.

So I only got one yard done…a little over an hour. I have 3 yards left, which is about 3 hours and a bit. Less than I wanted done, but maybe I’ll do some tomorrow. Or maybe even tonight (unlikely). I didn’t grade anything either because I went to the gym instead and enjoyed my book and the air conditioning. OK, I worked out too, but those other two things are surely motivators. Think I’ll go back tomorrow. Looking forward to a long weekend, that’s for sure. Though we’ll spend a chunk of it doing cat behavior training. That’s OK…it’s for the best in the long run. The cats will be happier and so will we. Satchemo (the new cat) gets along fine with the dogs, of course…it’s the other dynamic we have to work on.

And of course, the weekend goals always include sitting somewhere with a sketchbook and relaxing, plus walking a dog or two. They will enjoy that too, once the heat wave breaks.

*Trapt, Headstrong

Legs Up with a Book and a Drink*

Last night, I graded one class worth of the first real assignment for the year, the first one where I can sort of evaluate what I’m dealing with in terms of writing. They’ve had one quiz as well, which was open-note, so that evaluates something else. My original plan was to grade all the classes last night on that assignment, but oh, hell no. One period was enough. Now walk away. It’s funny how each new group of kids has a personality…this group listened to me when I said to put a space after punctuation (oh hallelujah! Finally!), but the run-on sentences might kill me. I mean, I’ve seen run-ons before, but this is like the run-ons have run-ons.

Yeah, I teach science. What’s your point? I need them to communicate better, clearly even, and so now I’m scrambling…as a science teacher…trying to figure out how to help them with that. Wish me luck. I suspect it’s not a one-day lesson (I don’t even have one day…I need a 5-minute lesson). Put it on my list of things to do. The ever-growing list that threatens to overtake the world.

I’ll find a way to grade the other four periods…absolutely will have to. Might even do the last period next, because I suspect they are the lowest. And I will ignore the four emails that came from one kid whose paper I returned…because if I get four emails from him every time I return something to him, it will drive me bonkers. And he’s a sweet kid and doesn’t deserve that.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about how to turn school off when you come home…how to walk out the door and get into your car and then Not do school at home. I think it’s impossible to walk away from the workload, and even harder to walk away from the kids and not keep it in your head…not constantly be trying to problem-solve the job while you’re trying to clean the bathroom. We try. Maybe some are good at it. I’m not.

Bottom left, more chain stitch to define an area…no real plan in my head except to fill that in somehow.

IMG_7594 small

Selfie with Wonder Under and cat.

IMG_7595 small

I didn’t start cutting out until late, but I did finish a whole piece, so that’s a plus. I think there are 5 left?

IMG_7597 small

Or maybe 4? Not sure. When I went to bed, the cat was sitting on them so I couldn’t count. I am still hoping to be done with cutting out earlier this weekend rather than later, so I can start ironing down to fabric…a nice long stretch of that would be good. Because that might balance out the grading, which needs to start in earnest. I always forget how much of my life is spent grading grading grading. I’ve spent 15 years of teaching trying to figure out how to simplify that and still get what I need out of my students. All the magical posts from people who have solved that problem…sometimes I read what they write and then I try to impose my kids on that. Doesn’t work.

Anyway…let the attempt to balance my life begin…and may it end each day with artmaking.

*Squeeze, Is That Love?

I Came Back as a Bag of Groceries*

Rough morning. Sleep in the heat is always difficult. And there are additional night stressors, like the cat who wanted to clean her butt right by my face because she’s feeling anxious. And when it’s over 100 degrees, furry animals right next to you are delightful (ugh). But I know they’re all needy babes at the moment, so I pet them all.

And when it’s really hot out, you should move furniture, by the way. And books…piles of books. And then cook things. Over a stove. AND with an oven.

It’s fine. I do OK with sweat as long as I can cool down occasionally. Eventually it will cool down again.

I did two nights’ on here, down in the bottom left. I decided I wanted to get that section filled in, so I did a chain stitch in a light blue and then a wavy buttonhole in the orangey-red color. I like that bit.

We were watching Sense8 while eating and this guy’s shirt fascinated me. I especially like the blue/red ferny things about a third of the way down. So we had to rewind a couple of times so I could get the idea of them…

I don’t know what I’ll be doing with that…

While we finished watching, I was sewing more of this down…because when it’s over 100 degrees , that’s the best time to work on a wool quilt. You know.

And then I sat back and watched more Hinterland, always interesting just because I lived in Aberystwyth for a year. I often yell out (in my head), hey! I know that bit of road! Although the art department was in the wrong place. Maybe they’ve moved it? Or maybe there really is a printmaking studio up there…who knows?

I cut stuff out while I was watching (and thinking) all that.

Another needy furry beast who wants to be right next to me in the heat…

I did a couple of hours…that was my goal, so I met it! Whoo! I can’t promise I will on all the other nights though. Gotta fit a gym visit in somewhere. I think I cut out 2 1/2 yards, minus those pieces under the scissors.

Pile of Wonder Under is NOT moving. Cat is. Hence blur.

You can tell I’m still not very awake. Probably gonna be this way for some more days…between the heat and the additional cat stressors. It will all get better soon. Just don’t expect deep thoughts or complicated math out of me any time soon.

*They Might Be Giants, Dead

Turn and Face the Strange*

Well that was an interesting weekend. Believe it or not, I don’t tell you everything I’m doing…and this weekend was the beginning of a significant change here, which has caused some stress and sleeplessness, but should be good in the long term. Once we get to the long term, that is. It has meant that I didn’t do any art for two whole days straight, which is like crazy for me, but I got back to Wonder Under meditation last night for a couple of hours. Yes, I wanted to be done tracing this weekend, but that didn’t happen. I probably will be tonight though, so that’s OK.

There’s 3 days done on here…although I’m not sure I can tell you what I did. I know I did a green straight stitch and then lazy daisy and fly stitch up on the top pieces of feather stitching. I think I did some fly stitching around the sheaf stitching and some French knots before that.

But I can’t be sure. Sometimes I just have to play catch up on this. I actually did two nights’ worth on Saturday evening and then sat out on the deck for the other one last night…the thing I kept saying I would do all summer and didn’t do. I guess now is the time to start watching the sky and the hummingbirds and the breeze in the trees.

Well. Today? Supposed to be 105 degrees, so less breeze and more ugh. It’s better than torrential rains, though (be safe and take good care, Texas).

I really do miss not doing this stuff on those days when I can’t…I had hoped to do some tracing on Saturday, but it turned into trying to fix a bunch of water issues and clean crap up…stuff that needed to happen, but it took up too much time for me to get to this. Last night though, I took my time back…

The thing is, I’m almost done. I got to somewhere in the 700s last night before I quit from exhaustion. Went to bed early again…which is good, because there was a lot of cat neediness at 1 AM and 4 AM.

This drawing has a lot of bigger pieces, because I wanted to make sure I could finish it, and they’re harder to fit into the random spaces on the Wonder Under. So I’ve used a lot of yardage, but there’s big empty spaces in there too. I’ll use them for something. I always do.

But today, I go back to work. Back to getting stuff done and organizing the teacher part of my life. I will hopefully get the last 100+ pieces traced tonight and start cutting them out. We’ll see how that goes.

I think I forgot to mention that All Stacked Up in My Head got into Quilts=Art=Quilts…

The opening is October 28 at the Schweinfurth Art Center in Auburn, NY. I won’t be there, but they will. Check it out. Report back.

Meanwhile, I’ll be here, making more. She’s got a lot of things on her mind…

*David Bowie, Changes

A Good Place to Be…

Well yesterday I managed to post my blog in the wrong place, but then fixed it. And then lost my keys. Or couldn’t find them. For long enough that I thought I might not make it to work. I “lost” my purse too, but since I knew I brought it out of the dentist with me, I assumed (correctly) that it was in the car. I did eventually find my keys and make it to work in 7 minutes flat (yikes…you can’t really be late when you’re a teacher), but it threw me for the rest of the day. Honestly, I don’t know where my keys are now either, but I usually drop them in the same two places every day, so they’re probably there. I hope. Unless the beginning-of-the-school-year brain did something crazy with them.

I’ve been misplacing a lot of things lately…too much chaos. That’s one of my goals for today at school: control the chaos. I have too many piles and pieces of paper. I need to get those organized and handled. What’s on the counter reflects into the brain. I’ve never been a particularly neat person, but generally I know where shit is. Organization doesn’t have to be neat by the way. I get nervous in houses and rooms that are totally and completely neat and minimalist and put away. Which is funny, because people generally clean up before you show up…but that’s not always who they really are. I can never get really truly clean and put away. I try. That’s all I can say. And no, I never volunteer my house for meetings. That would be crazy.

So I draw in class. We do cover pages for each unit and mine are generally a little crazy because I’m trying to get kids to think about what we’ll be studying and go outside the box. Plus I guess it’s another intro to their teacher. So this is Unit 1…

It’s basically the nature of science, how we explore and figure stuff out etc. The kids told me to put a student under the desk with stuff dripping on them…and then I added the wing mutation.

I always try to toss female scientists into the mix, so the girls get into their head that they can be a scientist. I tell them about my Physics teacher too, the one who basically thought girls couldn’t science and turned me off it.

Plus we’ve already done some days about safety in the lab, so it’s good to reiterate those things. I think it turned out pretty well.

I have to admit to not having a ton of energy when I get home right now. Girlchild reminds me that it will get better…that the first full week or two is really hard. Yup. It is. But if you think I’m always go go go…nah. I stop on the couch and barely move sometimes for like an hour or more before I find the energy to get up and do stuff. And then I get up, because just sitting on the couch is boring honestly.

So I forgot to do this the night before, so there are two night’s worth on here…

Stems and leaves on the roses…

And the sheaf stitch…totally forgot about that one.

That’s why I have so many stitch books…to remind me that stitches exist…brain extension.

So I started tracing around 9 or so and worked for almost 3 hours…

It’s really boring to just post pictures of what I traced. I think. Maybe you’re inordinately interested. I have I think 5 yards I’m working on right now…

I quit right before having to cut yard number 6…because there was a long piece that wouldn’t fit on the Wonder Under I already had cut. So I’m on piece 555 with about 7 hours into the tracing. More than halfway done…but no way am I gonna finish tonight. Maybe tomorrow? It depends. I’m already really tired and I have a show to go to tonight…so the odds of my being up early tomorrow are pretty low unfortunately. And I’m still trying to get on a good gym schedule, to make it routine again. It’s hard to do when you’re tired, but it’s important. So that’s tomorrow as well.

Anyway. I have plans for getting organized at school, maybe walking the dog this afternoon, since he’ll be on his own tonight, and finishing the tracing sometime this weekend (ha ha ha…because this weekend is kind of a mess for that). Hopefully I can get it all cut out next week and then start ironing over the 3-day weekend? That would be cool…sounds like a nice way to spend a long weekend. A breakfast out, maybe a walk somewhere with the dogs, and then some ironing. OK, I know that sounds weird to most people, but I really love the part where I’m picking out fabrics. It’s very relaxing and meditative. A good place to be…

You’ve Got Everything Behind You but Yourself*

I don’t like this morning so far. (Think positive) No cats have thrown up yet. I don’t have to deal with homeroom for two hours today. My lunch is already made. Tea is a wonderful thing.

(Ignoring the increasingly overwhelmed feeling that emanates from school and my house. Also not quite ignoring that the girlchild is currently being evacuated due to a bomb threat. This world we live in. These people. I hate thinking the only solution is to lock them up and throw away the keys.)

I managed the second-to-last trip to dump stuff at the thrift shop yesterday. There’s just two or three more bags. This is good. The driveway almost looks normal, instead of like hoarder central, as it has all summer. I didn’t manage much else in the cleaning phase though. And as I walk around, there’s still a lot to be done. I miss the boychild…he made me do it. But coming home from school at the moment…I’m just so exhausted. And I still have to deal with food. Dealing with grades on top of that is going to make it ever so much more complicated.

I did some pale yellow straight stitches and French knots in the feather stitches at the top.

I should find a green and deal with those roses. Didn’t think about that last night. Wasn’t thinking about much of anything.

I did trace for a couple of hours…maybe not even that long. I made it to the 200s. The main female figure is done, torso anyway. Her neck and head are next…

I stopped there because I was tired. Puppy kept me up the night before. Last night, he was better…he is a sweet asshole. Sweet at times, asshole most of the time. Definitely a character.

That tail. So annoying. He gets stuff stuck in it and will snap at you if you try to comb it. But he’s adorable when he sleeps and plays. Until he bites.

Calli is not so adorable, just due to her size. But we still love her.

In light of my trip around the house…it seems that I should be cleaning things tonight. Although there’s that dental appointment too. And dinner. I have to cook dinner. Ugh. I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling so overwhelmed at the moment. Yesterday I totally missed some part of an email sent out, so I forgot the stuff the kids needed (I went back for it…it wasn’t the end of the world). And I wonder when that happens if it’s just me…I didn’t read that one line. So then I question my brain. A lot. I did go back and read a bunch of emails looking for one piece of information. It wasn’t there. So it’s not just me sometimes. Give myself a break. Then I had to rush to do textbook assignments for books that are totally irrelevant (sometimes laws and governments make us do really stupid stuff…and I get why, but surely there can be adjustments when there need to be, without waiting four years to figure it out). There’s too many things. I need fewer things being hurled at me. Eight AM meetings. Sigh. How am I supposed to eat at the right time? This year. Deep breaths. It will all mellow out in a little while.

Make lists. Cross things off. Prioritize. Ignore the stupid shit. Don’t worry so much. Go make some art.

Now you know why the house is never under control. That last one. Because when the others are said and done, the last one is what keeps me sane. Or some version of that.

*Max Frost, Suspended Animation