Came Back Only Yesterday*

Well hello this morning. It is my first official day of summer vacation, with no work alarm clock this morning (although between the trash trucks, the boychild, and the puppy, plus the incessant cough I seem to have developed, there was no hope of sleep). I am still short sleep. Still stressed. Still got too much going on, but at least school is out of the picture for a while. That should help.

Saturday I went to an opening, mostly so I could see my own work hanging in the gallery (I missed the opening for my stuff). I wouldn’t expect my work to do well on a brick wall with a vintage couch, but it does…

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There’s my official shot…

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And here’s my new friend. No. I can’t explain it, except to say that after the opening, we wandered a bit around downtown San Diego, because we don’t come down here often. We thought there was another opening (OK, I thought), and I totally confused a security door guy by asking about robots, but to his credit, he rolled with it. All that has nothing to do with the raccoon.

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We’ve been here before. There was some really drunk kid who sat at our table for a while. It was strange. He was almost unconscious, but they kept serving him. That I don’t understand.

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Then back to listen to music. I love watching the creative process, the creative brain moving shit around to make it sound or look better. I love it in my own brain too…

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Sunday was busy. Here’s Simba at my parents’ house. He dug a hole and then sat in it.

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And then the boychild painstakingly pulled all the plumbago out of his tail.

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If you don’t know about plumbago and fluffy dogs, consider yourself lucky.

I should have taken a photo of my dad, because it was Fathers’ Day. I was not that smart. Dad didn’t dig a hole and sit in it either.

So here’s what I’m working on…there are two or three community quilts for the next art show I’m helping to curate, and we have all these 18×24″ blocks that are on interfacing. Some have drawings, some paintings, a few in fabric. These were mostly pastels, which was messy…they were sprayed, but they still leave marks. I’m sewing strips together (the other curator has sewn most of it so far) and then adding fabric where I need to in order to make them the same length. There are two this size so far for one of the community quilts. I don’t think I can go wider and get them under the machine for quilting.

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So today sometime I’m going to sandwich this one with batting and backing, and then hopefully I’ll quilt it. Or I’ll finish the piecing on the other one maybe. Can’t decide. It’s not easy to maneuver though…too stiff.

I have two nights done on this…I did a chain stitch on the bottom and then last night, I added fly stitches to it and continued the thread around until it was finished.

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And then, I thought, it’s vacation. I don’t have to go to bed. Because that’s mature and all. So I found the sketchbook and kept working on this.

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I want to add more to the bottom part, but I think it’s ready to enlarge. I want to get this ready for as soon as I finish with the community quilts. So I think I’m heading to the copy place today.

Meanwhile, Kitten has tried to sleep on the drawings and has now given up and is sleeping UNDER them.

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That is the better choice. Copyediting. I have to do that today too. Busy. No change there.

*Yazoo, Only You

I Can’t Control My Brain*

Lost voice has upgraded into sore throat and lost gravelly voice. Well luckily I have no need to talk for the next 55 days.

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OK. Maybe the girlchild will want me to talk when she comes home. Hard to say. Sure that’s on there because I’m looking forward to seeing her…but also because all of my quilts that are currently NOT in exhibits are lying on her bed. And she’ll probably want them to move by then. So that’s a deadline.

I got to school yesterday just after 9 AM. These are in our school garden, managed by one of the teachers…the garden looks great.

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This is my co-teacher’s room…her homeroom was useful and helped her organize all the new materials we got this year by unit. (My homeroom was singularly not useful, but that’s OK…they’re not my homeroom any more.) Our plan was to catalog all of the new materials and old and organize them in cupboards or the prep room by unit, thus saving us headaches and heartaches next year. She’s sitting at Unit 1…my computer is at Unit 2.

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That took a long time. And then there was cleaning up our rooms and trying to decide what to do with a huge pile of old and mostly useless chemicals dumped on us by 8th grade.

The custodial staff stacked my desks and tables in this pleasingly symmetrical formation. Women did this…not men. Just so you know.

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My room as I checked out. Pitiful really. I don’t usually take everything off the walls, but we have been teaching all new standards, so I needed to redo from scratch, now that I know what we teach. Plus we’re going to do it by unit…so if you go back and look at the picture of my colleague’s room, she has fabric rectangles up for each unit.

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I do not have that yet. Hello, Ikea. Later, people. Boychild did help with the take down and clearing out of some stuff I’ve had in here for 8+ years, so that was nice. He might even be around to help me set up…he’s tall and works hard and fast. Useful. If you need someone who’s tall and works hard and fast, let me know…he needs a summer job still.

We were there for over 6 hours, sweaty, tired, exhausted. There were about 10 times when I just wanted to quit, and we didn’t even do the last thing we needed to do. But we had to be out of there at a certain time. I got home and showered and the boychild and I went and got Indian food for dinner. And then I tried to function. I filled in the space around Prosper with a woven stitch and some other stitches, the space between the “e” and the “r”.

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Then because I was trying to finish watching something in here on the computer, I worked on this guy…Palestrina knots all the way around. It seems like a pain in the butt until you get into it, and then it’s easy. I don’t know why Palestrina knots terrify me so much. I’ve done a million of them now.

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And then I finished tracing this one…5 1/2 hours total. There’s some huge and long pieces on the two pieces of Wonder Under on the left.

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Honestly don’t know when I really have time to cut them out. I should be doing so many other things. No really. Not kidding.

Puppy and boychild joined me for a bit…

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He likes to be ON people. Except it’s hot here. Ugh.

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Soon after this, the big dog started vomiting. Which continued for a while. I’ve cleaned up a lot of vomit this morning. I could do without that.

So summer. Hallelujah. Need to make like 3 quilts. Seriously. And copyedit lots. And clean, toss, and organize lots. It’s frightening actually how much needs to be done. Right now, I’m still just taking it a day (hour?) at a time, trying to get some rest and find my brain. We’ll see how that goes.

*Weezer, Island in the Sun

I Feel Summer Creepin’ in*

I do have to be at school today…my room is a disaster and my co-teacher’s room is even worse, because we piled up all the new equipment and materials in there by unit, so we could try to organize it today. And plan a bit. We’ll see how that goes. My left eye is still twitching like a bitch (not enough sleep yet) and I have no voice again. But that school year is done. Out. On the ground. It wasn’t an easy one. With no state curriculum, we planned from scratch…and now we have to go back and fix it all.

I got home yesterday and the bank had shut down all my accounts again. It took a short while this time to get it all worked out, but I think the problem was Western Union, which we used to get money to the girlchild, because she needed cash for a car and her bank has no branch locally. But the bank has been remarkably unforthcoming and unhelpful. I finally got access to all the old statements (not sure what the issue was really) by filling out a Gallup poll about my experience that the bank sent me. Hello businesses…just saying sorry goes a long way, but it doesn’t fix stupid practices.

Usually after school is out, it takes me at least a week to be really efficient. We only get 8 weeks, which I realize sounds amazing to y’all, but I just got an email about the professional development I have to do…so if I do that before the year starts, that’s 7 weeks. Plus I’m working for the next two weeks, so that’s 5 weeks. I use this time to catch up on all the stuff I can’t do during the school year, because school sucks up holidays and weekends like a dehydrated puppy. Technically, including weekends, I have 55 days before I have to be back. It does not sound like enough. I know people with other jobs are completely jealous, but just come do my job for a couple of weeks and tell me how you feel about it then. Because it is different. I know that because I did your type of job for the first 13 years…and then I freelanced for a while…and now I’m a teacher AND a freelancer. Ugh.

There are days I wake up or go to bed wishing I could just be an artist full time. I know I can’t…I can’t afford it, obviously. But it would be sooo nice to be able to make art every day without all the other stuff. So the three breaks I get each year? I really try to carve out huge swathes of art time in them so I don’t go crazy. I figure if I’m going to work a job that beats you up so badly, I should be able to have the rest of the time for me.

Yeah. Mostly the first week I’m braindead though.

So I got home and the Threads of Resistance catalog was here with my two quilts and statements…really nicely done.

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These two quilts were made right after one another…I think that’s how the tree ended up in both.

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For those keeping track, I think there are 8 or 9 penises (penii?) between the two quilts. I will not be at the opening for this, because it’s the same day as my Visions opening…

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But maybe I’ll get to see it somewhere. Who knows?

So my mom has been amazing and has booked an Airbnb space for the boychild’s college graduation, which yes, is almost a year away.

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Ithaca is tiny…there’s not a lot of options. It will be my parents, the girlchild, me, and my ex, so it had to be big enough to sleep all of us. Now he has to graduate. (He will.)

It was my quilt class night, so I took all the blocks for the Don’t Shut Up community quilt I’m working on…so I could use Susan’s skills and ingenuity to deal with some of these crazy blocks. The wonders of dealing with quilt blocks from non-quilters…

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We tore some apart, sewed some together, and tried to trim others. Fun stuff. You’ll be seeing more of this over the next two weeks. I have a seam ripper injury from last night though…

I finally pulled this out…did two lengths of thread for the last two nights…on the left side again. A yellowish thread with French knots and lazy daisies in the cretan stitch, and then a pinky-purple thread that turned into green…I did lazy daisies and then some French knots around the other yellow stitches.

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Then I sat there on the couch for a long time, trying to be motivated to do anything. I finally got up and traced.

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I’m almost done. Another hour? At most. Lots of big sweeping sky pieces that use up large pieces of Wonder Under. Seriously, I think there are only 40 pieces left to trace. I’m glad I had this prepped and ready to go, because even though I should really be working on other stuff, I can’t get my head around any of it right now. I will HAVE to pretty damn soon, but I’m OK with yesterday and today being lost days for art and copyediting. Saturday though? Saturday I gotta get my act together and be a freelancer.

Midnight expresses her feelings about that. And being hot.

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Sweet fat kitty. OK. Going to school…but no kids makes that easier. I’m wearing my Ms. Marvel t-shirt on the off chance superpowers might help me today.

*Tom Petty, Mary Jane’s Last Dance

Take Only What You Need from It*

It’s funny…I spent a few hours last night trying to destress with drawing, because when I mentally went through everything I needed to do, I couldn’t DO any of them. I was too stressed. Mentally. So I drew. And then as I went to bed, the to-do list slammed back in and made me feel bad for not doing any of it (I actually DID do two of the things on there…but they were pretty low-key). Thanks brain. Appreciate it. In survival mode. Please respect.

Grades are done. Awards are done. Too much drama. Seriously done with it. Today is the field trip. Long day today…union meeting afterwards. Ugh. My classroom is a disaster. The prep room is even worse. Not our fault.

Anyway. It will all be done soon and then I can move on to the to-do list. The copyediting job. The quilts for the show. My own show. It will all work out. Somehow. Got a hike on the calendar already. It’s gonna be OK.

Stars on the top.

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I was trying to get my head around all the upcoming shows again…because another one got added and I’m not sure I can process the theme. But whatever. I’ll figure it out. Kitten was very helpful.

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Really, she was…chirpy cat noises and head butts. It’s a good thing. I have pets for a reason. Well. And they keep needing to be rescued. So I do that.

So I started that one drawing yesterday. It might have made sense to continue on that one. It certainly needs to get done. But then I’m looking at that art list, trying to decide how to handle the shows, whether I have stuff that I can use already or not. And I’m watching some total teen drama show, because I can’t handle much else. And this new drawing pops into my head (actually more than what’s below pops into my head…it’s not done). Just like that. Grab sketchbook, start with the landmass.

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It’s for a show that doesn’t allow nudity, so I’m working with that. Another troubled earth mother I guess. There’s more to come. She might have a whole body…or she might not. I haven’t decided. I have some room at the bottom of the paper. Then I’ll enlarge to as big as I can (it’s a small space)…and then keep drawing down.

Ironically, we’re not teaching climate change next year…but conservation will still pop up. And it’s hard to get this shit out of my head, even if I’m not teaching it.

I feel much better having that all out of my head, and having one of those shows on the list now decided. Yes, I still have to finish the drawing…but this was an awesome, significant start. That was good. Really good. My to-do list brain can shut up.

*MGMT, Kids

Only Gonna Get What You Give Away*

I think I could just close my eyes and sleep right here at the desk. I think I slept last night (OK, I know I didn’t the night before…I guess it all catches up with you at some point). I don’t feel awake. Quick, get that first cup of tea down the gullet. The eye is gonna twitch until sometime in July. You know that. It happens almost every year. Especially with what I’ve got going.

The plus? Awards are all done and printed for today’s award ceremony. Only one more day of actual teaching, and it’s only three periods. Anyone can survive that. I hate starting the day feeling like I need a nap though. Brain doesn’t want to stop just because it’s midnight…I have to fight it to sleep. Then waking up is immensely painful.

I finished a bunch of stressful work stuff last night and some art management stuff…I have a quilt that needs to be in Massachusetts by July 1 that is currently in Kentucky. So I had to try to figure out the easiest way to get it there, and it wasn’t by shipping it back to California. OK. Figured that out. Then headed out of the office to this piece…which I use to try to ease my brain into NOT working. I did a variety of stitches, fly and French knots mostly, on the left side, in the cretan stitch on the far left…filler stitching really.

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There will be no sitting on the couch without animals. This one is particularly annoying at the moment, between the cone and the bad-smelling stuff because she really needs a bath and hasn’t been able to have one because of the healing foot. Plus I can’t persuade the two males to do it.

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So then I practiced for summer vacation. Of course, mostly I stared at the paper because I was really tired and totally braindead.

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But there’s a start of something there.

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I think it took an hour just to do that. And there’s a random line off that arm that needs to be gone. I’ll have to see if I can make something out of it.

I’m not entirely sure what the something is, but it’s pen on paper pulling shit out of my brain, and that’s all I can ask for some days.

The Threads of Resistance catalog is available on Amazon…I have two quilts in the show (one of them is currently in Kentucky in Fantastic Fibers)…one is detailed in the 2nd row, left side on the front cover…

Then one is on the back, 3rd row, third from the left. Yup. That’s a penis. And a uterus. Equal time…

Not that it happens in real time, right?

OK, well I have to go in early and get some stuff done. Ugh. Have to put away all the stuff that can’t be locked up. Thank you district for wanting to have all the beginning-of-year stuff at our school…adds three hours to my packing up and another three to my unpacking in August. It would be nice to just be able to leave it and trust the teachers not to steal crap, but we can’t do that…especially with all the science materials. Oh well. Three more days with kids.

*Sara Bareilles, Bottle It Up

Let It Run All over Me*

Busy weekend, working and music and art opening…I did manage some of that down time…which was a good thing. I didn’t disappear the to-do list though. It still lurks, reminding me that summer vacation is a misnomer…that teachers pick up all the pieces in summer that they’ve been dropping all year long. At least I might be able to sleep in an hour or two. At least I won’t have to deal with 12-year-olds for 8 weeks. I might get more free time. I’ll certainly have more time for exercise, especially hiking. I’m looking forward to that.

But first we survive the last week of school. And that is not a small thing, for teachers or students.

So first of all, I have three pieces hanging at the Poway Center for the Performing Arts through June 24, part of the SAQA Untethered Thread exhibit…yes, I had three with no nudity (although the larger one is called NakedMan).

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You should check out the show…there are some very nice pieces in it.

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Then we headed over to the parentals for dinner…it’s been a while. Yes, Calli is still a conehead. Her foot troubles have been a pain. She’s a good dog. Just keeps conking us with the cone.

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She uses it to scoop up balls while playing fetch though.

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I did a bunch of grading this weekend…I’m basically done. I have a few more things that need to go in, but then that’s it. I need to do all the comments too. Ugh. Hate that.

I finished the one piece of trellis stitch that I hadn’t done on Friday.

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I did three nights on here…two on Sunday morning and one on Sunday night. Let’s see if I can remember what: the herringbone and cretan lines on the left, plus the fishy lazy daisies on the right.

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Now I’ll embellish off of them.

My parents’ dog is here for one night. We offer a special service. We will remove one dog’s worth of hair from your dog if you let them stay here. Yes, that’s right…one dog’s worth of hair.

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Such a deal. This dog sheds weird. The boychild did that. He wasn’t sure when to stop (before the dog has no hair?).

Then I decided I had earned art time. I traced for an hour or so…

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I did all the tiny tree parts, basically…from piece 71 to piece 176.

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I’m not sure how much I can really justify working on this in the next three weeks…unfortunately, it’s not on the to-do list. It will be, but probably after July 1. I think that’s when my vacation really starts. I hope.

*Van Morrison, And It Stoned Me

Push That, Push That, Push That to the Floor*

Well it seems like my summer break isn’t starting until July. I picked up a copyediting job…with a rush on it. Good news? Money. Pay college. Honestly, try to pay for the summer too. Bad news? Well, now it’s gotta get shoved into the two weeks after school gets out, which already has three quilts that need quilting for the art show I’m helping curate, plus jury duty, plus I’m sure I don’t even remember all the other shit I’m supposed to be doing. Finishing up for the solo show and delivering all that (need to work on one part of that tonight…maybe see if I can get all the paperwork done). Plus I wanted to make a coloring book for that show of my drawings. Hoping to still be able to pull that off.

Unfortunately, my assistants either roll over to have their bellies rubbed or roll their eyes at me.

Where are the post-it notes. I need to write things on them. Somehow that helps. Chipping away at the crazy to-do list a little at a time. FIVE days of school left. All the awards are at the printer. Grades are closer to done (not done though). My classroom is a disaster. My house is a disaster. I took 5 minutes and gathered shit to be tossed off the kitchen counter. And then I tossed it. Well. I recycled it, because I try to be environmentally responsible.

I do try to leave the house for something besides my job sometimes. This is my stitching group…since I was pregnant with the girlchild, who turns 20 in August (really. Holy Moly). My friend Julie has been working on this uterus pattern from Knot by Gran’ma for me…we both bought the pattern, but it turns out there is no way in hell I would be able to make this…I’m just not talented (or experienced) enough. Luckily Julie likes to do weird shit like this for me. (I have a zombie fairy doll and a Frida Kahlo fairy doll from her.) So last night was the finishing touch…here’s a side view as we tried to decide how to photograph her.

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On the ledge behind the chairs at the Starbucks inside the Mira Mesa Barnes & Noble…in case you want to replicate this look. I LOVE IT. Seriously. Love.

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Almost as much as I love the uterus I built. And the girlchild around it. (Yes, I should dust…I didn’t realize until I saw this photo).

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Freakin’ awesome pattern and hard work by Julie (she had to say her personal mantra many times in constructing this). Much appreciated.

Then I did the blue-green cretan stitch on the far left. I still need to fill in some, but wanted to spread out as well.

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I should remember to take a shot of the full piece of fabric so you can see that I will probably run out of room by December.

I worked on this at the meeting. That’s trellis stitch in a psychotic rayon thread…it’s fussy shit man. I love that in two hours, all I really got done where knotted Italian stitches on the tree and the whipped stitch outline on it. Time-consuming shit.

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Speaking of time-consuming shit, I did start tracing Wonder Under on the climate piece. I did all of it until I got to the fussy tree trunk. Then I went to bed.

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Like an hour late. I really need to have more sleep, but I was incredibly stressed by the increasing to-do list and couldn’t fall asleep anyway, so whoo! Yeah! It’s Friday! And I’m currently teaching sexually transmitted diseases! Yah!

My lord. The plus is that the teeth are no longer grinding (no, I don’t really know why), but both eyes are starting to twitch. I’m going to get a better night of sleep tonight. Really. I am. And then finish EVERYTHING. I’m going to finish it all. Yup. I am. Just don’t fucking bug me while I’m trying to do that, OK?

Oh yeah, I forgot. I was desperate for something cookie-like last night and we had a box mix of gingerbread that said you could do this that or the other and make cookies out of it. It wanted me to roll them out and use cookie cutters (who the fuck do you think I am? Is it fucking Christmas?)…well so I made hockey pucks.

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They taste about as good as they look. Sigh. Left them for the boychild.

*REM, Radio Free Europe

Ready for Me

You know when you’re stressed out and there are things you know will help with like the grinding of the teeth and the flopping around in bed? Obviously exercise is the most healthy of those, but it takes time and often daylight or driving somewhere that you might have a membership for sweating in public. Then there’s the less healthy comfort-food eating (I’ve avoided that so far), the donuts or the cookies or whatever floats your boat. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll follow closely after (well, music anyways, since who knows which will make you happier, and for teachers, alcohol is probably the drug of choice). For me there’s art as well…drawing or sewing or cutting or whatever. Embroidery also…the meditative motion of needle in and out and thread pulling through just as you had planned it. I manage a little bit of that almost every night. Art has been harder for the last two weeks…just too much work and art management (ugh, that horrible thing) going on. It’s getting in the way of my destressing dammit.

I’m getting there though. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, even if the tunnel is days away. Meanwhile, in the middle of all that, I’m bidding on copyediting jobs for the summer, trying to make sure the paycheck continues. That’s a whole ‘nother stressball.

Here’s an anti-stressball.

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Of course, she’s lying on the gradebook. Not helpful. It’s OK…I did about 3 hours of grading last night and managed to get a chunk done. Not enough, but some.

I did two spiderwebs in a blue/brown that I swear looks like another thread I already used…on the right side in the middle sort of.

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Then I numbered…I told myself I would do the piece that had the lowest number of pieces…this is the climate one and she’s only got 398 pieces, compared to the 700+ piece drawing of a few nights ago.

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And that’s including this crazy mess. I thought about trying to find the overlaps and continue the pieces, but realized the headache and the problems with stitching through all those layers…so they’re all numbered.

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The next one, Desert Daughter, came in at 542 pieces…which surprised me.

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It seemed simpler than the other two…but apparently 25 pieces just for a scorpion adds up.

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That’s not a flower…it’s a succulent. Lots of green stuff in this one.

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So I guess the climate one wins. Of course, when I look at my schedule for the next…well…week? I don’t know when I’ll have time to work on it. But at least I know it’s ready for me.

I Know You Better Than You Fake It*

Good morning. Here in East County, it is a little cloudy, maybe even foggy in places. My house is quiet, sans boychild and dogs. It’s OK for it to be quiet sometimes honestly. The cats are wandering around, rubbing up against my legs. I’m not very awake. Sleep was troubled…a vomiting cat (I’d already washed the bed cover once…she’s on a roll in the last 24 hours), some wacky stress. I managed to finish one part of the solo show, but two more parts are left. Someone needs to do the dishes. And I need to grade stuff. Yesterday was the last tutorial of the year (oh hallelujah). I finished the academic awards and sent them off to the printer. There’s still a few awards left…I need to check one batch of those today…another will final tomorrow morning.

Meanwhile, 27 boxes of science materials that have to be parceled out to all three grades just showed up in our prep room. And it all has to be put away, locked up even, before next Friday. Ah shit.

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I think another 8 boxes came after this. We’re gonna have our homerooms help unpack. We hope. Well. Maybe not MY homeroom. The last two weeks of school are just a little more stress than I need. I think I need another walk.

And yeah. There’s that. I do usually roll on the side of too many fucks given. I have four assignments left to grade, plus some stuff to input that’s literally just check off that they did it or not. The last assignments to be graded come in Friday, so the weekend is kinda shot I think. I’m not totally panicking yet. Maybe I should be?

One thread on here…let’s see if I can remember where. Oh yeah! There was some blank space on the left side where the L of Live is…I filled it with chain stitches in a purple color.

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And then because I was hanging out and watching Fear of the Walking Dead (man there’s some plot holes and bad writing in that show), I worked on these guys.

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These are blocks 9 and 10 in Sue Spargo’s Folk Tails. I also have block 25 in with this pile. Looking at the quilt, it seems so overwhelming with all the stitching detail, but it’s not so bad one block at a time. I did the grass in Ohio and then I’ve been couching them since then…at my art meeting on Sunday (I have a really hard time just sitting and listening at meetings…I need something for my hands to do), and then last night I finished the couching and did the bullion knots for the flowers. Thems some cute hippos. I really like working on these. They’re very meditative. I don’t have to think very hard to make. I just read the instructions.

Yeah, kind of the opposite of what I do on my own, which are still meditative in their own right. I didn’t have any time after working on the solo show photos last night to go number another quilt. I made the managerial decision to go to bed 30 minutes earlier than I usually do. Except it didn’t help. Oh well. I’m managing. I’ll survive. There’s tonight (gotta grade tonight…and finish a statement and a resume).

Thinking about the summer though. I want to finish the Bird Crazy quilt, put it together and do the borders. I need to do these three quilts for the FIG show…but that’s just sandwiching, quilting, and putting together. Remind me not to hand sew those bindings. I want to make some big and impressive quilts. I need to deal with some deep cleaning in the house and garage. I need to find a way to make some money over the summer (bidding on another copyediting job this afternoon). That’s not a small to-do list. It never is.

I also need to find time to just sit outside and draw. And time to go outside and hike. And time to just sit and read. Hang with my kids when they’re still around. Let the brain come back.

*The Smashing Pumpkins, 1979

Well Every Day My Confusion Grows*

Yesterday, after working all day, racing around to try to fix stuff (one of my banks shut down all my accounts last week after some unknown problem with security…unfortunately one account is the one my paycheck deposits into) and mail important stuff and pick up quilts and photos, I was on my way home, negotiating stupid end-of-day traffic, and the need to get OUTSIDE and walk hit me upside the head. Hard. One dog still can’t go out and walk, but the other one, the little one, he needs it. Hell, I need it too. So we walked…

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It was good. We went further out than usual and found this weird pipe and bridge…

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They REALLY didn’t want us to go over this.

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Came back and ate and graded stuff and got really frustrated by the kids who didn’t complete the simplest assignments. Aargh.

Sat on the couch and stitched a bit with these guys…

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I did a blue/green lazy daisy above the orange flowers to the right of the hand. I seem to have run out of creativity…keep using the same stitches over and over. Seems like there’s no more stitches.

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Very philosophical that. I was fighting off a panic attack of sorts…too much to do, getting irritated by the cat’s tail on the keyboard, annoyed by people and all their crazy shit, putting together a crazy to-do list that keeps me at this heightened state of teeth grinding for at least another week.

Not a good place to be. Manage the shit…best I can. Grades are priority at the moment, but so is my sanity. I’m describing it as a very “intense” part of the school year. True that.

So I eventually managed to get off the couch and start numbering these. Because that’s gonna be part of the decision-making process…how bad are they? I did the 4-square of women first. It’s one of my favorites and will definitely be a quilt some day.

Although maybe not soon, because that sucker has over 700 pieces. And most of them are small.

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But it would be fun to do…

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Except all the women overlap, so I’d either need a huge run or two separate runs. Definitely doable…

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I feel like I should work on something easier…something quicker…to start.

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I don’t know why I feel that. Maybe it’s the tension I’m still carrying after a 3-mile hike and a crazy stressful day. Eight days. I swear I can do eight days. I’m just not sure I can finish all the other crap people want me to get done in those eight days. Plus I got my rescheduled jury duty crap, which just annoys me. I’m trying to bid on copyediting jobs and I don’t even know if I’ll have time to do them. Frustrating as hell.

OK. Well. Deep breaths. Meditative positive thinking (well survival thinking anyway, which in my eyes is positive. I WILL survive. And get mostly everything done.).

*New Order, Bizarre Love Triangle