Everything Takes a Lot Longer…

I had two weekday mornings to sleep in, and now I’m up early again. Ah school. Yes. I’m coming. Apparently parking will be an issue, so I’m debating getting a Lyft…what are the odds that they can find my house? Hmmm. Who knows.

I remember this about summer…everything takes a lot longer than you think it will. Here’s the pluses: I have everything I need to fix the sink area. I also learned how to use a tile saw. I hate saws. They scare the crap out of me. I’m pretty convinced I’m going to cut off my hand every time I use one. But I did it anyway. Progress! Home Depot twice in one day! Now that’s summer. Some day I’ll find the money, time, and energy to do the carpet in the rest of the house…that’ll be a crazy summer. Or remodel the kitchen! Need a lottery ticket on that one.

Anyway, I did manage some artsy stuff as well. I think I spent close to 5 hours writing a blogpost about the art and poetry exhibit one of my art groups, Feminist Image Group (FIG), had back in December. Precisely why did I take so long to even start it? Because I knew it would take a long time. You can read it here. There’s finding all the photos and resizing them and finding all the titles and artist names, but then also checking for permissions on the poems and then copying, reformatting, and in some cases retyping those. But it’s posted! Now I can move on to the more recent show. I also posted a quick thing to the other art group whose blog I manage, California Fibers. We had our website professionally redone and I’ve never used Squarespace before. It seemed fairly straightforward. All that stuff takes time. I do it because it matters; it makes those groups better.

My next mental task (despite the work I’ll be doing today) is to figure out what I can do for the refugee problem here in the US…with kids being locked up with no essentials for days, weeks, months on end. I don’t have a lot of spare money. I might have airline miles. I feel like being in San Diego, close to the border, there must be something else I can do besides Paypal. But I don’t know what it is. I can’t even formulate a drawing in my head…and drawings don’t save kids’ lives. Or adults for that matter. It’s true I didn’t vote for this president…and the people who are in office who I did vote for, they are pretty vocal. They need to be more so. Sometime today I’m going to figure out how I can contact those people and do so. In between smart-designing middle schools. Or whatever I’m doing today. The NPR news report I heard yesterday about the conditions in the facilities where they are holding children was disgusting. This is not the America I want to live in. There is no excuse for this. No wishy washy lawyer language that makes it OK.

With that in my heart this morning, I’ll be off to work to figure out how to teach kids. Refugees some of them.

I did some sewing stuff yesterday…I just realized that I missed the leaves on the bottom right. Duh.

That baobab fruit was in the way.

I traced this and it’s in my bag for the conference. I don’t like down time. I may not even pull it out, but at least I’ll have it. And a sketchbook.

Sitting for long periods of time sucks. Hopefully it will not be a lot of that. I need action. Not sitting.

I ironed for a little bit in the afternoon…

And then after dinner…all those fabrics for one succulent.

I had to stare at the drawing for a long time before I decided on hair color. Here’s everything I’ve ironed so far and a chaotic pile of all the fabrics.

I like to clean up before I start the next day…

It helps me see everything. I honestly don’t have much left…some clouds and rain, and the eyeballs. I think that’s about it. A rainbow. So I could easily be done tonight and starting on the trimming of the pieces.

My cold is still here, but barely. Hopefully tonight or tomorrow I’ll have the energy to walk the dogs. I need to start exercising. I’m feeling blah. Heavy. Tired! Still. OK. Work, then political crap, then art. Or all three will merge. We’ll see.

Too Many Threads; Not Enough Knots

Sheesh. What a morning. I’m efficient, but not efficient enough. Too many threads; not enough knots. What am I getting done? Some things. I filled a bunch of cracks in my driveway yesterday so they can seal it in a few weeks. I need to fill more, but need more sealant to do that (note: trip to Home Depot). The right eyelid is twitching again. It comes and goes. I’m trying to get enough sleep. I did better last night. I think that’s because the cold is getting better. Hard to sleep when you can’t breathe. I don’t know how many nights of 8 hours of sleep I will need to feel human again though…probably more than I can get in the next week. I will have to be up early tomorrow and Thursday, unfortunately.

Hey local SAQA members! We’re getting the group going again. I will be hopefully putting together a monthly meeting in the La Mesa/El Cajon area too…I want to meet once a month to just hang out and stitch stuff, and show what you’ve been working on. Nothing stressful or worklike. Just fun and hanging out. That’s my goal anyway.

What else did I do yesterday? I got a new chiropractor…my neck is still sore, but I think that’s my fault. Phone and computer and all. I spent a lot of time setting up stuff for a new blogpost for one of my art groups. It takes forever to find all the photos, resize them, find all the names of the artists and the artwork, and in this case, write names of poems etc. Some misunderstanding about Fair Use Laws…but I’m still working on that post. I have two more to do for that group and then I’m going to try to do the other group’s blog as well. Sometimes I hate all the stuff I take on for other groups, but I also know it benefits me in the long run. So I do it.

Sometimes it takes me a long time to get it done though. There just aren’t enough hours in the day for everything. This was my post-dinner, still-watching-American-Gods stitching…

Working on the tree. Nothing fancy here. I’m just doing this until I get my act together to start the next embroidery pattern sample. I picked threads and mocked this up…now I just need to transfer it to the fabric.

I’m doing this on a white fabric. I do love the black, but it’s a pain to transfer the pattern onto, and this one is complicated. I’ll transfer it later today and start embroidering hopefully tonight. I just realized I have no mock colors on the nipples, so I’ll have to figure that out. The pen colors aren’t particularly accurate either, but they’ll do to remind me of what I was thinking. I would do it differently if I could use more than 5 colors. I would use about 20 or so!

Kitten was blocking my access to the pink fabrics last night…

Speaking of colors! I was going to keep this quilt all in the muted range, and then my brain said, heck noes, you needz all the colors. So I went a little bright in her chest area.

It’ll be fine. There’s a lot of green and brown in this. Not sure what I’m going to do with her hair yet. That’s another large portion of the quilt.

OK, well I have plenty to do now…mostly filling in poems and sending emails and hoping people respond and then renting a tile saw and trying to figure out how to use it. Minor detail. I might even finish ironing sometime soon. Well. It’s taking me a long time. So maybe not today, but still soon. Ish.

A Dizzy Twister Dance*

Yesterday, or maybe Saturday, I filled in the big erasable calendar on the fridge for the next 6 weeks…you know, most of my summer break. It’s hairy. There’s a lot of stuff on there. Some of it is going to be really enjoyable, some it will be hard work, and some days there’s just one thing on there…like mammogram or dentist. Sigh. Then there’s the written lists I’ve made, for the week, for the month, for the whole summer. I’m not in the chill spot yet, where I feel like I can relax. I think I need about 5 more days of sleep to get there (um, wait, isn’t there a design conference in the middle of those 5 days of sleep? Oh yeah.). It’s OK. I’m better today than I was yesterday. I slept on the couch after going grocery shopping and then to an art opening I needed to go to. And then I slept in this morning. So I’m working on it. Listen to your body. That’s a drawing.

Drawing! I did some! Ah, I’ve missed it. There’s so many things in my head right now. I need to get them out and about on paper.

Saturday was long and exhausting…but I did stitch in the car in between events…

It’s OK. I wasn’t driving.

Saturday night was exhausting…we went to bed early, but I was fighting the nose snots and achiness of this cold, so I got up at 2 AM and read for an hour and took meds and then went back to bed and fought night sweats and hot flashes. Ugh. Blanket on. Blanket off. Fun stuff.

This is Satchemo. He wanted to be really close while I calendared the week.

I was on the phone with my mom for most of this. My cousin is sick. Really sick. Better since Saturday, apparently, but still…the only info I get is from mom. So I called. Also to confirm that they didn’t want my sick ass at their house for dinner (they didn’t).

I don’t drink beer, but someone in my house does. Say this 10 times fast. I can’t.

So after a nap and making dinner and getting the man to record some music for my first Patreon video for July (hey, this is cool…although I feel bad using his skills without paying him. But only a little.), I decided it was time to simplify the drawing I did a few weeks ago for the next embroidery pattern. I’m not really sure that it’s a LOT simpler…

Laughing at myself. I did reduce lines. I got rid of toes and fingernails. I still wish I could use more than 5 colors, but it’ll work. More Satchemo assistance. The original is on the right. The original (more complicated) version will be released to my Patreon community this week, so if you want to embroider that one, join in! You get a drawing a month for personal use at the $5/month level.

I wish I had more time to embroider some of these. I will need to do a sample of the one on the left. I scanned it last night and printed it out. I’m going to do this one on white fabric…but I need to pick threads first. Tonight maybe…

Sleepy puppy. He plays hard on Sunday mornings…

That’s an interesting stash of stuff on my coffee table. Why tape? I don’t know.

I took more meds and managed to come into the studio and pick all the flesh fabrics.

I was looking at the background fabrics and trying to decide what I wanted to do, and I kind of went for stuff that will blend a little bit with it. I might hate that later…but it’s done now. This fabric…is just gorgeous…

Hopefully I put them all in the right place.

Here’s what’s done so far…they aren’t in order, because I pulled flesh from the 100s through the 500s, so I have no idea how much more I need to do.

I just know the flesh is done and I started on the plants that are on her…not a lot of color yet.

Honestly, I’m going to stick to some desert/earth colors on this one. There will be blues and purples though. More on that later today. The only thing on my calendar is the chiropractor and filling asphalt cracks, plus maybe a Home Depot trip for more asphalt stuff and the materials to fix the sink/counter/tile issue.

This morning…the boychild is a fur magnet…

I had all four animals in with me this morning. In my face, boisterously cleaning nether regions for one of them. Nice guys. Thanks.

Anyway, there’s art in the day…so that’s a plus. And hopefully continued recovery from this stupid cold. Being sick in summer sucks.

*Lady Gaga, Just Dance

What Kind of Heart Doesn’t Look Back*

First of all, I would like to thank that hyper little guy RB who was sitting in the front of my classroom playing Uno and coughing all over the desk (I even moved away from him) for the oogy feeling in the back of my throat right now. Ah yes, the gift that keeps on giving…a student cold. Woo hoo! Thank you thank you. C’mon immune system…I fed you avocado and bok choy…do your thing! I know I’m still tired and running low, but you can’t make me be sick on top of all of that. I need recovery time…not something else from which to recover. Sigh. Head down on desk. Go take your vitamin C. Again.

So things are happening around here. Cleaning (a little) happened. My office got straightened up so I could iron in here. The kitchen table is slowly appearing. This space…this space, I have not touched. At all.

Really, I could just blame the cat. But it wasn’t her fault. I’m not sure how to organize some of the stuff over there. That’s part of the problem. I think I need to buy two frames and maybe some matboard. And some organizers (NOOO…I hear my son yelling that there is no need to buy MORE things. I should just throw some out. I did do some of that yesterday too.). Whatever. I am a messy person, but a mostly organized messy person. My studio is a prime example. Of course, I would love to have a studio two or three times this size, but I’ve seen the genetics, and my mom’s studio looks just like mine. Except bigger. With more organizers.

I am considering boxing up the crazy quilt stuff and opening up that space…but it’s largely inaccessible space…so that doesn’t necessarily help. I’ll think about it. Certainly the blues, greens, purples, and whites have expanded beyond the bins I have. This was my straightening up before the new quilt…found a place for the completed embroideries, put all the fabric away from the last quilt, swept the floor…

Now I’m ready to iron. I didn’t actually do any of that until around 10 PM.

We spent 2 hours at the vet…ugh…Simba needs his teeth cleaned and Calli has some huge lumps that need handling.

We’ll be back on July 1 for those things. Fun stuff.

After dinner, we (I) had finally decided to get STARZ so we could watch American Gods. And I love it. Totally worth it. After eating, I finished the house on the first September Folk Tails block, which has been sitting around for months.

I think I’m taking this with me to all the design conferences I have this summer…I can’t sit and listen to people talk for hours. Then again, the one next week has 3 hours a day of Improv. Um. OK. My social niceties will be challenged. I guess it’s a good thing I’m there, for the introvert insight. Like you’re killing your introverts with all your plans! You need to give them the space to learn and create in a comfortable way too. I think people forget that when they plan shit. Unless they are one.

So after all that and whatever else I was putzing around doing (I exercised), I laid out the first 100 Wonder Under pieces…picked a background (I always have a few)…you can see it in the back there.

And starting picking fabrics. Ah bliss…

Here’s where the stress relief is…right here. This is what I’ve been waiting for…

Dirt and rocks…

Yeah. That’s good. Strangely, the quilt my Patreon community picked has those red rocks of the desert that we spent all of Spring Break driving and hiking around, but this drawing is a couple of years old. I had Earth Daughter and wanted to do some different versions of it, and this is the next one, Desert Daughter. Next up? Body parts and cactus. All good. This won’t take long. Then I should draw Ocean or Mountain Daughter? Maybe.

Today is not the day it will happen though. I’m fully booked, I think. Maybe tonight? We’ll see. I might just collapse.

Speaking of the Patreon, I just posted a video on there of me ironing a tiny face. It’s the second video of the month, so almost all my patrons will be able to see it…for only $2 a month, you can see me ironing the most tiny eyeballs ever. The next video is already edited…it’s me drawing…which is kind of cool to watch, I think. That will release the first week of July or so. Next up I need to do my June drawing for the Patreon…looking forward to that in the next week.

*Sara Bareilles, Breathe Again

She’s Making Sure She Is Not Dreaming*

Hello to the first day of 55 days off school. (Ignore the 9 days you will be in planning meetings or at conferences.) The first thing I’m dealing with is my exhaustion. Seriously. It’s bad this year. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s always like this. (It is. Well, I’m always tired. And braindead. For like a week. Sometimes two.).

Yesterday, we kicked the kids out and then piled into a car for the annual end-of-year adult school party…

Yes. Happy.

I actually went to the gym last night. It was glorious. I also read 107 pages of the book that has to be done in 6 days now. If I read 100 pages a day, I will be fine. Then I fell asleep on the couch and tried to find the energy to get up. I finally did around 10:30 PM.

And did this…

New quilt sorted. I’m really really looking forward to the next step. I love picking out fabrics. I need to clean in here first. Ugh. I don’t love cleaning.

I went to bed before midnight (exhausted) and slept in an hour…then into school for the last bit of cleaning up…I moved 5 boxes of hazardous materials out, then put all that stuff on the table into my car for recycling.

I had pulled most of the unit materials down for a reboot in August. We’ve shaken things up so much that it just needs a redo. Maybe the girlchild will help. Ha!

Walking away on that checkout day always feels so good…but sad, because I don’t socialize much outside of school…

Dramatic clouds over campus! Weird June weather. Should enjoy it now before it gets hellishly hot.

I went straight to a local nursery and bought some milkweed to plant in the yard. I want to save butterflies…

Plus it’s a pretty plant.

I found out yesterday that my new quilt (that none of you have seen! I’ll have to do some posts about what I worked on. And I can process those other videos…maybe I’ll do that first for my Patreon community, since I’m waiting for music on the one I edited Wednesday night.) got into this show…

This is Bill! Bill! Bill!

My tribute to Bill Nye, who doesn’t just educate a bunch of kids about science, but goes out into the world and speaks up for those who deny climate change etc. I love that he doesn’t just sit back and cash his video checks…he uses his fame to try to change policies…I so love this video…

But you should also listen to his Cornell speech from this year (I can’t believe he came the year I wasn’t there)…sorry it’s a FB link. Can’t get to it otherwise. But I love that he’s talking about women’s rights and education as well.

And that’s me sending another Nida quilt to MAQS in Virginia, where my 2011 intro to Fox News occurred with all the crazy that went along with my first major quilt that offended someone. I did not do a nude of Bill, although maybe I will in the future. Or not.

Anyway. So that’s a wrap. 2018-2019 school year is OUT. I’ve been teaching for 16 years plus. And I just got to pee without looking at the clock. Next I’m going to eat lunch without having to rush around. I’m also going to do some budget stuff for summer, take the dogs to the vet, also do some meal planning, and maybe clean some stuff up. And I just got a message about copyediting. Probably have to consider that too. Need the money. Hopefully tonight I’ll start ironing this quilt to fabric, assuming I have something I can use for the background…it’s all good. We do appreciate our time off, that’s for sure.

*Talking Heads, And She Was

Got Love Make It Go*

I feel like I ran a marathon yesterday. I’m gonna run another one today, but it will be much shorter. Hallelujah. I also finished the book that was due to the library last week and loaded three more onto the iPad. One is due in 8 days and it has over 700 pages. Can I do that? I doubt it. I mean, sure, I’ll be on break as of tomorrow after I check out, but I have a quilt to work on and about five different things I’m doing over the weekend. Not relaxing yet. Although not grading is a blessing. I’ve been reading this teacher stuff about how to reduce my work week, and although I already do a lot of it, one of them talks about setting two LONG afternoons a week and grading, and then don’t do it the other five days. I’m not sure I can pull that off. We’ll see.

We started yesterday with bowling…

Two hundred and eighty kids, about 9 teachers, some number of chaperones, lots of pizza, some soda (for some, way too much soda), a whole lot of bowling balls and shoes, plus games in the other room. Then we came back and have to try to get kids through two periods of class…we just put videos on and bribe them with food and water and try to get them to chill out. I was trying to clean up my room. At some point, I was so tired, I slipped and realized I needed to stop climbing on counters to take stuff down. So I sat down for a while. Spaced out. Had a conversation with a kid about how I wasn’t going to talk to her about whether or not I had a boyfriend.

The awards ceremony was an hour after school got out. I managed FINALLY to type up the list of old chemicals for disposal (it’s only taken me almost 2 years to do that). So that’s 5 boxes out of my classroom. And I gave away all my water because I needed the cupboard space. Which is fine. It’s not like I’m keeping it for a reason. Awards are nice because those are the amazing kids and you get to tell their parents how amazing they are and then check out the little brothers and sisters for what’s coming next.

Today we have kids for about 2 1/2 hours or so. But we have to stay locked up in our rooms during graduation. So we just hope kids won’t show up. But they do. I have more stuff to take down and put away…so I’ll do that while they watch promotion on the screen. Ideally, I’ll have most of it put away today, so tomorrow will be quick and easy. Unless I need to meet about planning. We’ll see. I have 700 pages to read, you know (maybe I should take that with me today? Nah. I do that sometimes and I never get to just sit and read. Of course. I teach 7th graders. Who am I kidding?).

This is exactly how I felt when I got home around 5:45 PM.

I did nap for about 15 minutes. While trying to read. And then I realized I had stuff I needed to do. You know what blows up my blood sugar? Carrots. I love carrots. Fuckers. Or it’s exhaustion and stress. Hard to say. Because this morning, it was super low. Sigh.

Then I spent over an hour fussing with the next Patreon video. It’s me drawing. It’s only two pieces of video, not even fussy, but I wanted to add titles and have them disappear, so I had to learn how to pull the effect away from the video so I could edit it. So much of what’s online when you Google app-specific answers is from previous versions, so it doesn’t help. Now I want to add music! So I need that man I live with to make me some…but he works, so I don’t know when that will happen. My Patreon people may get a bonus video this month while they’re waiting for this official one.

So I didn’t start cutting stuff out until after 11 PM.

And I wanted to be done. So I stayed up too late. Of course.

As you can see, Simba was very invested in my finishing. Which I did. It took 4 1/2 hours to cut them all out. Not bad. Sorting tonight? I hope. Then clean up the studio for the next round of picking fabrics…one of my favorite parts. I’m looking forward to that bit. I’m really looking forward to 57 days off. Well. There’s 10 days I won’t have off of work. But I’m getting paid for it and it’s for a good thing, so that’s OK. I might not think that when I’m having to get up early next week, but for now, it seems OK.

*Sublime, Santeria

Whole Days Turn into Holes in My Mind*

I keep staying up late to get art done, and then in the morning, my brain is mad about me for that, like it didn’t know about it last night? I think I just need some mornings that are 8 or 9 AM and not 6 AM. I’m really not a morning person. At all. I mean, I can handle the animals because they’re not too demanding really. They just want their breakfast and pets, and I can do that without too much effort. Plus the petting makes you feel nice and loved. Which is much better than how middle-school kids (and some of their teachers) make you feel during the last week of the school year. The plus is that we’re done with the sex ed. Today is a field trip (which is tiring and exhausting and sometimes stressful) and then movies in the classroom after. Thank god that psychotic principal who wouldn’t allow any videos isn’t here any more. “EVERY MOMENT IS EDUCATIONAL!” OMG dude, then put your ass in my place today after these kids get sugared up for 4 hours and sit in a classroom with them. Seriously.

The hardest part about today is that we have an award ceremony after school, so I’ll be there until at least 5:30. I might need a nap. Thinking about bean bag chairs for my room so I can sleep in there. Like I have time for that most days. Murphy bed in the prep room!

Yesterday after school, I did all the things. It took 30 minutes to find one file from two years ago on my computer. I’m not sure why. I must have been staring at it for ages and not seeing it. I need to run an updated budget to see what I can afford for a newer car. This one is about to start being really expensive. Which is unfortunate. But whatever. It got me through the college years. I also patched one teacher-friend’s jeans and cut and sewed alternative necklines on two sweatshirts for another teacher friend. And I cooked dinner.

After eating, I was working on that cow-like thing. I think it’s an African buffalo.

I finished him, whatever he is. Next on to the house.

And then I started cutting stuff out…

It was late. I didn’t finish. At some point, I did remember that I had a really long day today that is largely caffeine free (might be a mistake). Damn bowling alley doesn’t sell tea. There’s not much left to cut out, so that’ll be tonight…and hopefully sorting it out too. Then I can iron tomorrow, if I have any brain power left.

Speaking of brain power, it’s taking like 4 brains at a time to get stuff done. Here’s science and history…

Yeah, we buy matching shirts. Although only two of us know the rules about how to stand to make your waist look better. I like that my NOPE is the bigger one. We did get approved for both proposals for paid work this summer, though, so that’s cool. I do think my team is mostly awesome. It makes it easier. This is not an easy job. It’s not even always rewarding, which is why people say we do it for not enough money…but there are good people with good intentions, and this time of year, you see pictures of former students graduating with honors and that makes it all good. We know how shitty 7th grade can be for a lot of kids.

Anyway. I should go to work. I need a lot more caffeine and a chiropractor visit, but otherwise I’ll be good. I got my peeps.

*K.Flay, Giver

As We Drift into the Zone*

It’s the weirdest thing. You turn in your last grades of the school year, and all of a sudden, you come home and you don’t have any schoolwork to do. My brain panics a little. Wait. What do I do after work? I don’t have more work? (I mean, I do, but not like grading stuff, which is a never-ending thing along with planning for the whole school year and part of the summer.) I joined this teacher group for the year to try to cut some of my work hours, to streamline the shit so I can enjoy the not-shit more, and so many teachers are already on break and wondering why they can’t get going, why they’re still sleeping in the morning, still in pajamas at 2 in the afternoon. It’s called recovery. And I’m not there yet. My classroom is still a disaster. I’m still teaching sex ed today, plus there’s a school teacher breakfast, so I need to be in early. And then I also have a field trip tomorrow and another award ceremony, and then the sweet horrible wonder of the last day of school. I’m almost done getting everything put away in the classroom. Today I’m typing up the list of hazardous stuff we need to get rid of, so hopefully it can get picked up before they put summer school in my room.

Yesterday was exhausting. This whole last month has been exhausting. Frustrating. Stupid people stuff. Dumb adult drama. Too much work. Soon. Soon it will be done.

So I went home and walked dogs…

We went to the more open space…

The plants are changing color…

It’s been dry and hot in the last week. I had to put the sprinklers back on at home.

They scraped the road…it’s a fire break, so that makes sense. Less chance of getting ticks too, unless you’re the little boy and need to pee by standing on a bush.

No sign of coyotes…although you know they were there.

I know there’s cleaning to do. I need to sew some stuff (quick) for a friend. I need to do my second Patreon video. I found the videos I already recorded and downloaded them. Then I got distracted by something else. Easy to do when the brain is still so overloaded. The men around us teachers keep asking why we’re so irritated, emotional, distant, whatever. Um. So it’s really hard to explain how much emotion and care we put into our jobs. We think about kids nonstop. Not always with irritation! With worry. With sadness. With joy. With hope. So this week, we’re kind of a mess. Come back to me in July and I might have recovered. Mostly.

But I didn’t grade after eating dinner. I worked on this!

I haven’t been working on this at all, because I’ve been doing the embroideries. Which needs to start up again, but I have to do drawings first. Maybe later this week. I have one I want to simplify already. He’s not done, by the way. He needs nostrils and eyes and something on his horns.

I also started cutting stuff out…

I actually did one whole yard and the smaller piece, so I’m more than halfway done. I might be ironing to fabric by Friday. That would be cool. This could be a really fast piece. Of course, that means I’m forgetting all the other stuff that is going to suck up my days in the next week or so. But it’s OK to forget all that right now.

*Weezer, Island in the Sun

Shed Our Skin, Let the Sun Shine In…*

Hello Monday. You woke me up several times during the night, trying to fake me out. Tellin’ me it’s morning when it’s really still the middle of the night. You wouldn’t let me sleep that last half hour at all. And now you’re all gloomy and pissing down spit (which I am totally OK with, so you didn’t get me then…). I don’t feel like I got a weekend at all. But OK. It’s that time of year. I’m about to get some time off…much-needed time. I just need to bully through.

We did go to my parents for Fathers’ Day. I told him all the things at my house that were broken, because that’s what fathers want for Fathers’ Day, right? I also made him chocolate cake. That might have been nicer.

Here’s my guy (not my dad) looking for UFOs after throwing the ball a thousand times for Calli while I was grading…

Seriously. Hours of grading this weekend. And the kids trying to turn stuff in late.

Katie was being weird.

There was a coyote out there…we saw it go by the house on the road, into the driveway and then the lower yard, and across another property. You can just about see it below. Maybe. Middle right…

Scary. We came home and I graded some more and eventually stopped and made art. It’s not that I was done with grades…they are due today, but I can’t do any more until after 2nd period…

I had about 200 pieces left to trace, so I did them. Yes, that means I stayed up too late. Why do you ask? My brain was wired by then. I was wide awake and totally stressed out. I finished tracing…only two yards and a small bit…

It took me about 5 1/2 hours to trace them all. Almost exactly 100 pieces an hour, which is my usual estimate. Tonight I’ll start cutting…because you know why? Tonight I won’t have any grading to do. Because it will be done. For the year.

Then I can start to wade through my gigantic to-do list, but also on that list is the art stuff. So that’s a good thing. Today? Today getting there will be a bit hellacious…but it’ll be good once it’s done.

*Ivy, Edge of the Ocean

As It Should Be…

I am still exhausted after 9 hours in bed. Of course, too much of it is moving cats, pulling sheets on and off during hot flashes, and a brain that won’t shut the fuck up. It’s OK. I’m almost done with school. I will get there. To the sleep place. I honestly feel like I need to just start running (I’m not a runner any more, thank you knees) and keep going until the computer and school can’t find me.

I graded a ton of stuff yesterday, made it through all the makeup work, went to a graduation party in the middle, still exhausted, then came home and graded the opt-out assignment for the kids who aren’t in sex ed. That thing almost killed me. I guess “don’t copy off the internet” really means “copy your ass off.” I would like to thank the kids who really took the assignment seriously, and maybe thank the kids who didn’t turn it in, because I didn’t have to grade yours at all.

Weird-ass spreadsheet and hash marks keep me organized on this thing, I guess. I made notes on our planning calendar for next year…hopefully I’ll have the brain power to make those changes for next year. They’re not hard. And no one will be graduating in the middle of my last month of school, so that should help. I hate that my job makes it so difficult to travel outside of our prescribed breaks. But it is such a hassle. So stressful.

I also hate seeing kids who blew off turning in that last assignment, when that’s all they needed to pull their grade up. This group was pretty good, especially compared to last year’s crew. We know it’s a fluke, so as a teacher, you’re always trying to decide how to better motivate kids, what to do about that one kid who you totally flailed on (not your fault, but you still blame yourself). That’s the part that keeps me awake at night.

Anyway. That’s done. I still need to do the final grade input and finish up with homeroom, and then I’m done. Plus laundry, grocery shopping, the last parent email of the school year, and Father’s Day stuff.

This was Buddy yesterday at the graduation party.

Everyone wanted to pet him, but it just makes him anxious. He did allow me to scratch his back and behind his ears right before we left.

I came home and graded for another few hours. It’s a lost weekend. No art. No art. Maybe tonight?

Friday night, my stress kept me up way too late watching a stupid movie, but I also did a summer to-do list. I don’t want it to be super long. No matter what, I won’t finish most of it.

That’s the way it always goes. But I’ll try. It’s a place to start. Plus there’s art stuff on there too. As there should be.

So Happy Fathers’ Day to those to whom it matters…

My dad is kind of a dork, but he knows how to fix all the things. I’ll be asking him about an electrical thing tonight. Isn’t that how all Fathers’ Day events should go?