“We Lived, as Usual, by Ignoring.”*

So I was trying to pick a place for dinner this week, a celebration dinner, and I was cruising through Yelp…one of the restaurants that I was considering (and now am not) was Bo Beau, one of the Cohn Restaurants here in San Diego. They have great food and interesting restaurant environments, but on their menu is a statement, a political one for sure, that I just don’t agree with…so I won’t be eating there. Ever. It’s that statement that they will be including a 2% surcharge to cover increased minimum wage and health costs for their employees. You know, most grownups who run a business realize that this is a good thing for the people they employ, that even if you don’t personally want to pay for better wages, for wages that actually might support someone, you should keep your mouth shut to your customers. Because you just lost one…well, and since I influence a few others, a few others will also not go to your restaurants now. Any of them. Good job. I teach the children of some of those minimum-wage workers, Cohn Group, and your lack of respect for their needs and for the vote of the majority is telling. Telling me to go somewhere else.

Don’t get me wrong…wrap that surcharge into increased prices without making it sound like you object to paying your lowest-paid employees more? I have absolutely no problem with that. I want them to be paid more. But stop whining about it. I’ll go somewhere more mature about people’s rights to a fair wage.

I’m in political brain mode at the moment, drawings slamming into my head. Wish I had time for that. Part of it is the next birthday, age 50. I’m OK with achieving cronedom in general (wish my uterus would get the hint), although in the specific, there are things I would change in my own life. But that’s a work in progress, always. But the daily wham of stupidity and disregard I see in my elected officials? Sheesh. Meanwhile, my book club is reading The Handmaid’s Tale, which I read when it came out or soon after…1985…the year I graduated high school.

Here’s my cover…it fell off this time I started rereading it…

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Now I just marched in January for women’s rights…because I’m tired of being told I’m not worth as much, I’m not as smart, I can’t make decisions, I’m too emotional or illogical, or whatever other bullshit you’ve come up with about my DNA that makes you think you can decide for me…

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The variety of covers for the book over the years is intriguing…how they decide to depict what the story is about. I’d forgotten about the personal part of Offred’s story. I remembered the main part. It’s been a while since I read it last…

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Pears. Pears?

I also marched for women who couldn’t march. I marched for more equality for ALL women. I realize being white makes a lot of things easier for me than if I were any of my students, women of color, women with disabilities, women of a variety of religions, immigrant and refugee women. It doesn’t make sense to just fix it for the rich white chicks. It’s been unfair for so long…even more so for others. I’m tired of it.

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Don’t tell me to smile, to laugh, to ignore. Don’t shut me up. Don’t tell me to be nice. Don’t apologize for me.

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Some women having more rights than others for any reason doesn’t make sense. A bunch of rich white men making that decision doesn’t make sense. Why would we want to go backwards?

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This cover completely creeps me out. It’s from the first edition hardback released in Canada in 1985, artist Gail Geltner…a collage artist and feminist.

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I watched 10 Cloverfield Lane last night and there was a creepy moment in the movie when the male character couldn’t come up with the word “woman” with regard to the main female character. Although she was obviously an adult, he used “girl” and “princess”. As creepy as the movie was across the board, that moment sticks in my head. Like YIKES.

No video for you though…sorry.

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Yeah, I enjoyed my foray into the Prisma app.

This is a nice cover…except why flowers? Because she’s fertile?

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And they’re calling the 1980s vintage again.

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This cover…there’s pills and syringes and umbrellas and gloves and nooses? With your umbrella? The bleeding heart flowers…those are from the book.

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I actually think this is the best cover of all of them.

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If you haven’t read this book, you should. It’s relatively short. And Atwood is an amazingly eloquent and psychic writer.

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Here’s the whole picture of the wall (a WALL?!) that’s on my cover. A wall? Controlling women? Controlling immigration? Getting rid of the constitution? Protests? Oh sigh. It’s going to be a long presidency. At least I know there really was a conspiracy against those with uteri…I didn’t imagine it. It just wasn’t in my face all the time. Now it is. Thanks.

With that, I’m going to wear what I want to the grocery store and read the signs and buy what I want, even lotion if I like it, and I’m going to come back and make some political art with a uterus in it (oh wait, dammit, there’s no uterus in this one…just a vulva big enough to hide the world in). And you can’t stop me. Yet.

“We lived, as usual, by ignoring. Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.” Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

Am I Already That Gone*

Field trips…usually I like them. I suspect some of the annoyance this time was my incoming mood. But whatever. I liked the movie…this ice chest frightened me. I think it weighed 100 pounds, all ham sandwiches. And the seatbelt wouldn’t fit on it. And every time the bus driver took a turn, it would shift ominously toward me. Death by ice chest.

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We arrived safely…my upwards sky view of the Fleet Science Center…

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This is when my group of kids started to realize I was one of their stranger chaperones. Whatever.

I’m posting this for Julie…because it’s a bike. With fish cutouts. That were used (?) to print the fabric. Except I can’t figure out how they did such tight turns in the middle. And because I was trying to follow and keep track of 10 diverse individuals in the museum, I couldn’t even find the card to read it…

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Same with the Sherlock exhibit. I went through twice, but so totally didn’t have the brainpower to figure out the mystery.

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But I took selfies with the props.

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Which makes me kinda like a middle schooler. No attention span, but damn, I got a selfie. I dare you to solve that mystery while you’re trying to keep track of 10 12-year-olds.

This was cool…it was at the start of the Sherlock mystery.

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I wish I could say I’m gonna go back and figure it out, but I think the Fleet just makes me think of school field trips and I’ve got PTSD on that right now.

This is what happens when you send photos/video of Simba to the girlchild right now…

She misses him. She can have him at the moment, because when you have a lot of work to do, he’s an annoying butthead.

So I stared at this a lot last night. I did start drinking at some point. It’s OK…by then, I was watching videos the kids had made and was laughing.

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Maybe that was the wine. Fuck. But you know if you’ve never been a teacher or lived with one, you just have no fucking idea what it’s like. I stress over my job and the kids and the time it takes constantly, and there’s no easy solution to any of it. And this year has been so hard with all the planning. I’m done. But I can’t be. Because I’m a responsible adult. No really, I am.

I’ll be staring at that screen for about another hour or two this morning, and then I’m done. Seriously. For Trimester 2. There is still another trimester. Sigh.

For those of you who were worried that I had lost Block 3 of the Folk Tails quilt…I was pretty sure it was sewn to another block…and it was. There it is…something about elephants needs to be sewn down.

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For a while, I was trying to get all the wool bits sewn down first and then I thought I’d do the embroidery, but at some point, the embroidery needs to be done before you can sew stuff together, so I started doing that. So freakin’ organized. Anyway. I’ll figure it out.

I did two nights’ worth of stitching on the tree…it’s looking better with more variety of color and stitch types. I added a double fly stitch and more lazy daisies, but in a different color.

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I’m glad I picked black for a background. It’s nice…although I can’t use any really dark colors. Pros and cons. Probably this is why I usually pick dark backgrounds for my quilts…I like the color pop.

Then I headed in to the studio to cut more fabrics, another hour and a half in. I did the heads and some of the hair. It doesn’t seem like much…

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And there’s still not a lot of color in this piece, besides the flesh. There will be more. I’m hoping to finish the rest this afternoon. There’s not a lot left…

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But I have to finish grades first, so they’re out of my hair. I still have kids trying to turn in late work. This morning. Nope. NOPE. Gradebook is closed. Respect my time. I have a hard enough time doing that myself.

And then art…because I’m tired of grinding my teeth and having my eyelid twitch. Gimme a break.

*Sarah McLachlan, Sweet Surrender

If You Bring Your Blue Sky Back*

I seem to be running late all the time. Not sure what happened. I know the left eyelid is now twitching. Last weekend it was the right eyelid, but I exercised and tried to take care of myself and the crazy backed off. I try to manage that stuff, manage the stress, but at some point, until I get a handle on grades really, it’s not going anywhere.

So I hung out with friends last night (that’s one thing that helps)…but I couldn’t find block 3 of the Sue Spargo thing I’m working on. I pulled everything out of the bag and looked at the picture. I know it exists. I remember sewing all those freaking spots on the tree…don’t I? Sheesh. The other Kathy (I stitch with another woman named Kathy, not my alter ego, although that exists as well) claims the cat stole it (certainly a possibility)…but I think it’s just sewn onto another block that’s in the other box where I’m sewing bits of wool on, the box I organized like last summer. And then forgot about. Yeah. That one.

Stitching is one of those things that reduces my stress, even when it’s 70 billion bullion knots. Julie (one of my other stitching friends) reminded me that when I started my first Sue Spargo quilt a million years ago I was terrified of the bullion knot, and then I did 90 trillion of them on one block and I was cured. True story. I can do bullions in my sleep now. So I started on block 4…with a bunch of bullion knots.

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I’ll find the other one eventually. Not this weekend.

I spent a lot of the evening with doggy attentions. They are really missing hanging out with my ex (I told them it was this weekend too, and they are now even more upset…I am that boring…and I WILL be this weekend, until grades are done)…you will NOT grade. Because I am on your lap.

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They do seem more friendly than a few months ago. A cold and lonely winter? Or just getting used to the little bastard. Calli’s look is hard to read. Make him stop? Why? Oh Why?

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I might eat him…if you weren’t sitting here documenting the whole thing.

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Well I gave myself one episode of some TV show to grade shit. I wasn’t in the mood. Too late. That’s a good way to motivate me…when the episode is over, I’m done.

So I went and did something else to release stress…picked all the fleshy bits.

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Except I didn’t get to the heads. Yes. Heads. Plural. Seems to be a new trend for me.

I still have all these bits that go inside the body…bones and hearts and shit. I’ll get to those.

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But look how tiny they all are. Sheesh. This quilt. That’s the end of the 300s up there on the bottom of the picture. The stuff on the top is all the 200s and 300s that weren’t flesh. I usually do them after. There’s a bunch of stuff floating around the hands.

I’m at just under 3 hours in picking fabrics…probably another 2 to go? I could do that tonight, but I really need to grade shit. Hopefully by the end of the weekend though. I can’t grade nonstop. It hurts my head.

Fabrics I’ve used so far on the left (mostly pinky bits)…stuff ready to be trimmed on the right.

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I’m really looking forward to this little beastie. It’s a good size for getting expression out quickly…without killing me with a big quilt.

But before I get to any of that…it’s field trip day. With the tail end of a cold. OK. I got this. I think. It’s not like I have a choice.

*Peter Gabriel, Sledgehammer

Keep On Keeping On

The dogs are so excited when I come home from school and change directly into hiking gear. Of course, I haven’t quite gotten across to them the difference between hiking gear and gym gear, so sometimes they’re unnecessarily excited. And the little one tries to eat my shoes while I’m putting them on, so he really doesn’t get the idea of how he’s NOT helping me get ready. So we went to the same place as last time, which is kind of amusing because it’s a river valley and we had 3 inches of rain about 2 days ago. Yeah. So there was water. And mud. Followed by baths.

Same start as before…at least this was above water…

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Unlike this barely floating bridge…which Calli decided to forgo…let’s just wade through the stream, mom. I carried the puppy across…there’s a gap at the other end. It’s jumpable, but not if you’re a tiny beast.

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At some point, I realized it was going to be a muddy trip, so I went with it…this is runoff from the hillsides…the river is to the right…

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It was overflowing in places…

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And more was coming down off the hillsides, making more rivers…

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All in all, a muddy trip. Frogs though! That was nice.

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But wet. And muddy. I mentioned that, right?

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The wildflowers are starting to appear…

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And certainly, after baths, they were tired.

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I did more leaves…

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And I graded stuff…then made it in to iron…fleshy bits first.

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Crawling around on the floor to pick a range of fabrics…

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Got a bunch ironed down though…tiny little beasts.

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It’s going quickly though…

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That’s a plus. Well gotta get outta here early again for another meeting. Ugh. Yesterday was good until the last period of the day. It’s interesting how you carry that. I’m working on relieving stress. More art, more exercise, less of the bad stuff, less teeth grinding. Mantra for today (which already has an early meeting, a fire drill, and antsy kids). Yup. Keep on keeping on. (I don’t even have time for music this morning.)

Tell Me Darlin’ Please, Tell Me True*

Look! It’s March! Not February! Did anyone notice February? It’s so short. March is a weird month…if Spring Break comes in March, then it’s a nice month, usually punctuated by spring flowers and temperatures, bright blue skies and fluffy clouds, the first sunburn of the year if I go back to the soccer years, mostly because I would have forgotten sunscreen after months of winter (OK, we don’t have much in the way of winter here, it’s true). It’s also my birthday month, which isn’t really a big thing for me, but it’s a day in March. If it’s a school day and kids find out, then it’s a cross between really annoying and amusing. If you’ve never had 90 7th graders sing Happy Birthday to you in the morning, then you don’t know what I’m talking about.

But when Spring Break doesn’t come until April (and this year, not even the first week in April), the month seems to stretch out almost as long as October…a vast expanse of five 5-day weeks where students are losing their minds to pubescent hormonal slush and dreams of summer. This year is one of those, so February slammed by like a drunk clown, but March is gonna stretch out like a bad cold, uncomfortable and exhausting. The plus? Spring Break is coming. It will be here. I see it (I don’t actually…but maybe I will later this week, once I’m done with grades).

Yeah, I’m still sick and maybe a bit delirious. Sorry. I left my cold meds at school yesterday, so I had to go out last night to get more, and the nice pharmacy woman was only a little amused by my discombobulation. Sinus stuff gets me all wiggy. Can’t think straight.

So last night was not the most productive evening of all time, but shit happened. I put more leaves on …different color thread and different stitch. Gonna keep doing that.

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Then I was trying to finish an episode of something I was in the middle of watching, so I finally used the white pencil I found (at a store…ironically, last night, when cleaning the studio, I found one of the ones I had here)…and did the concentric circles behind the bird.

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Yeah, they’re wonky as hell. I like it. This block is done now. So that’s two! Wow. You don’t even wanna know how many months I’ve been working on this block. First there’s about 98 bullion knots in it.

Then I came in here and dealt with the mess. First I had to put all the fabrics away from the last quilt, which wasn’t a small amount. I always clean up the fabric stash between quilts. Helps me think. I like everything put away to start.

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I do need more storage though, and since this room can’t take any more storage, I’m going to have to dream about a larger space. I actually wouldn’t want to move the studio into one of the kid’s rooms (like they’re ever going to move out), because I like my corner view here…but who knows. Maybe I’ll go two stories just for more storage…some sort of loft thing. (Yeah right.)

Then I sorted the first 100 pieces. Sheesh, that’s some tiny shit there.

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Even the drawing, seen from across the room…it’s so small compared to the last one. It won’t take long…

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I didn’t actually start ironing anything, because it was it was almost midnight when I got to here. And I’m sick, so I should probably go to bed earlier (ha! I couldn’t breathe well enough to fall asleep quickly). Ugh. Colds suck. They just drag on forever.

If I feel well enough after school, I’m going to walk the dogs. They’ve been pretty impatient with me the last few days. They’re used to a lot more weekend entertainment than I gave them (rain didn’t help…they got a 2-mile walk)…and this weekend is a repeat of last weekend…they’re stuck with me again. If I don’t feel well enough, I will sit in the hallway and throw balls for them until they quit. But I also need to grade tonight, because I couldn’t deal with it yesterday. And then ironing stuff to fabric. That’s something to look forward to.

*Sarah Jarosz, Tell Me True

Raining in My Head Like a Tragedy*

So 3+ inches of rain later, the house is still here, hasn’t slipped down a slope. All the trees are still standing. The pool, which we finally got blue again (I really shouldn’t say WE, because I didn’t do a lot) is now green again. My pool guy is not gonna be happy. I tried to explain the chemistry of rainwater to him, but he likes to blame dirt and trees (there’s no tree stuff in the pool at the moment). Today? Sun. Oh yeah. I can do that. Looking forward to it, what little of it I might see. That blue sky I see out the window looks nice.

There was no need to go out after school yesterday. If I hadn’t been sick, I might have gone to the gym…but since the first thing I dealt with was this…

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I showed her where the open garage door was. She sat down in the rain and looked at me pitifully…and when I came to pick her up, she was sopping wet and kinda frantic. I have two towels in my car for a reason. She was a mess.

Then I graded for a while. At some point, it becomes a lesson in crazy lack of understanding…

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(head. not bread.) Yes, sometimes I have weird warmup questions…makes them think. Some more than others, I guess. (I would not put MY phone into the bread…)

I started doing leaves. It needs a lot more.

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Damp dog trying to get as close to me as possible…after stitching, I finished trimming all the tiny little pieces…

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Some of them really are small…but most importantly, I forgot to number that one on top. Annoying. I’ll figure it out eventually.

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Then I sorted them all. So yeah, I’m sick, but not so sick I can’t make art. It’s a good marker actually…did I go to work (almost always)? Did I make art (need to be able to concentrate and/or stand…so that’s a bit more complicated). Did I eat? (I made breakfast for dinner…was not really in the mood for food…typical when I’m sick). I am not better today, unfortunately. Breathing was an issue last night. Hopefully tomorrow.

It didn’t take long to sort them…it’s a small quilt!

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I keep saying that because it’s kind of a surprise that things aren’t taking days DAYS to get done. I should always do a smallish quilt after a big one, just to give me a good frame of reference. Or maybe it’s like a palate cleanser. And then later, after some smaller ones, I’ll want to get sunk into a big huge one again. That’s usually how it goes. Summer break…big quilt.

That dog never did leave me alone…

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And then, since I wasn’t going to start ironing last night (that’s a bit TOO much standing, plus it was after 11 PM), I tried that drawing again.

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That’s better…although I’ve lost the rest of what was in my head. It’ll come back. At least I got the chains right. Although I might try this again. I don’t know. Sometimes it takes a while to get it right.

Unfortunately I have to be at school early today for a contentious meeting. I love those. Really. (not) With tutorial after school, I should be well and truly exhausted by the end of the day. My goal is to get the fabric cleaned up in the studio, pick a background fabric, and maybe start ironing. I’d like to start…I just don’t know if I’ll have it in me…we’ll see. There’s no planning for sickness in the middle of this crazy schedule…just play it by ear. Hopefully I’ll be feeling better.

*Eurythmics, Here Comes the Rain Again

I Got Sunshine in a Bag*

It’s pouring again. Ugh. Spring, my ass. OK, I know we don’t get much rain…and we usually need it…but sheesh. I can’t get the garage to dry out. At least the roof isn’t leaking. That’s a plus. I’m trying to decide what to do with the old lady dog. She doesn’t like being out in the rain, and she can’t stay inside all day. I can’t leave her here, because she escapes my yard, plus it wouldn’t matter, because she won’t even go in the dog house (it’s possibly too small for her). She just stands out in the rain, looking pitiful. I understand. I’m sorry. I say that to her a lot. Usually when there’s a puppy biting her face and she swings her head to look at me with those eyes. I understand. I’m sorry. You’re a good dog.

So was the weekend a success? Well shit got done. It’s never enough, but it’s something. I still have kids trying to turn in late work. I made it through three assignments. I have seven to go plus all the makeup work that was turned in on time (cue hysterical laughter). One assignment might magically disappear. One might push into next trimester. We’ll see. I don’t know what to tell the kids who turned stuff in late. I don’t believe in prayer, but it might help them.

In the art world, I seem to be doing OK. I picked up photos of the new big quilt…

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

I’m not showing the whole thing until the opening in July…sorry. She was supposed to be a triptych…then a diptych…then she was just big enough to be on her own. I still plan to do one more new one, but the deadline is tight and the one I’m working on now is NOT that one. Don’t think about that.

There was a bit of sun yesterday for Kitten to happily sleep in. With my old hub. My old cranky hub. (not husband…an actual hub from my computer)

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I’m sick, by the way. That is not helping. Yesterday I sneezed out part of my brain.

I sat on the couch last night to do my one stitch, and within seconds, I had both of them. One on each leg.

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Makes it hard to move. I felt bad when I had to get up. I did the pink lazy daisies coming off the bush in the “r” in Prosper.

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I did then finish tracing the newest quilt. Yeah, it’s a lot smaller. I forgot how fast small quilts go.

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That said it has a ton of tiny pieces. Well, only 532 pieces, but because it’s small, many of the pieces are small. At least in the last one, I made an effort to keep it simple. Well, simple for me.

It was still early enough for me to start cutting them out. (Notice puppy is back on my leg.)

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I actually got about halfway through. Again…small quilt. It’s only one yard of Wonder Under…the last one was like seven yards. I should be able to finish tonight and maybe even sort them.

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Between grades and being sick, though, we’ll have to see. I’d like to be ironing by Wednesday. Does that seem reasonable? I don’t need to buy any background fabric. I have a bunch of pieces to choose from on something this size. I don’t know if I’m trying to remind myself that big pieces are a big drain on time and resources AND a pain in my ass, or if I’m just rejoicing in the fact that this one is NOT like that. I do like big pieces. They got punch. They take over a room. I like that. Well then…

The dogs do occasionally sit together…more because Simba was already there and Calli isn’t going to stop being where she wants because of him.

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He is slightly nervous about it.

Anyway. Let’s hope for quick recovery on the cold, plus lots of efficient grading and artmaking this week. The rain will be gone by tomorrow. At least I don’t have duty at school this week. I had enough rain when I did have duty. No, I didn’t draw. I wanted to, but it was late…and when I’m sick, I try to get enough sleep. TRY. I said try.

*Gorillaz, Clint Eastwood

Let Me Take You There*

Well I’m head down (and ass down on the chair) on grading stuff. I even resized the photos for today’s post (yeah, it’s Sunday, but I had an early up and get going, so I’m trying to take advantage of the day and get my work done), and then I forgot to write. I’m taking a break from grading right now, because it’s hurting my head, realizing that I have to rework how we teach one thing that we do all year, because so few of our kids can do it, and we’re more than halfway through the school year.

Anyway. My goal is to do grading now so I can do art later. I started a drawing last night and I’m going to have to restart…but maybe that’s later today. It’s mostly in my head at the moment.

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The world is still pissing me off. Not surprisingly. I solve that by signing petitions and sending emails to my stupid state senator and postcards to the people who need them, and then supporting kickstarters and artists who are making resistance art and donating part of their proceeds (or all, if they’re into that…I think artists need to make a living too) to good causes. Plus making art myself. And continuing to yell out that this shit is not right. Freedom of the press, dammit. Even if you don’t like what it’s saying. I love my country right now for all the parts who are protesting, devious as some of them are (the CPAC Trump/Russian flags…what genius). This is what my country does when there’s a dictator in charge…what you read about in the dystopian novels. This is what we are. We are unfortunately also the stupid stuff. It’s the yin/yang. Can’t have the good protest without the stupid.

I did Friday and Saturday’s stitching yesterday…The tree trunk/branches are done, I think. I might add some more twiggy stuff tonight.

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And before that…I’m stuck with both dogs this weekend, due to my ex being in Boston with our daughter. They needed some exercise yesterday, so I went to Sweetwater to see how bad the crowds were.

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The bridge was all about photo shoots, as far as I could tell…one down at the far end, and then two more when we came back. Weird.

There had definitely been rain out here in the past…I don’t usually walk here, because there’s too many people and bikes, but also fewer coyotes in sight during the day because of that…

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It’s pretty damn green this year…

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Went to the bridge so we could see the stream below…

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Simba likes to stand in big grass.

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We saw another trail camera…but this one had a card explaining it.

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So I emailed her…because she had a bobcat picture and I wanted to know where the fuck THAT was. But also she asked about trail data from hiking apps. And I have that.

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Although yesterday we only did 2 miles. I’ll go back, maybe even tomorrow, and do a longer walk. Until I can go back to the other one with fewer people. I’m not a people person, I guess. I like to be out in nature without humanity mostly.

Anyway, so many art-related things crowding my head today, and work has to happen. I want to finish tracing the other piece today and start cutting it out, but also do that other drawing. Plus I think I’m getting sick…knock on wood. I’ve been healthy for a good long time, but so many students ill is a hard one for even a strong immune system. Gonna go take some more vitamins. Ugh. I don’t have time for sick.

*Led Zeppelin, Kashmir

Words Like Violence; Break the Silence*

First, here’s a photo that’s kind of what my brain looks like at the moment…

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That’s an impressive piece of sidewalk. So the concrete is my brain, and the dark gray cracks and dirt are school and all the crap I have to get done and deal with. Like closing the gradebook yesterday and having about 40 assignments show up after that. Because I can’t tell time? The real questions are (1) how big of a bitch am I? and (2) can I even get all the grading done that was turned in on time anyway? We’ll see. The green though! The green is artmaking. So that’s a good thing.

So I figured out the piece of wool in the bathroom. It wasn’t me. It was Kitten. Or Midnight. Or both of them. Because another piece was left somewhere yesterday. So I think Midnight pulled them out of the bag (one at a time, because I was organizing the other night, so I know the other piece wasn’t out of the bag), because she’s the one who goes in bags and likes plastic…and then Kitten walked the one piece to the bathroom, because that’s her shtick…carrying crap and depositing it in strange places. The bathroom is her place to sleep. The other piece was just left outside the plastic bag. Kitten hadn’t seen it yet. Here’s the blocks I haven’t sewn down yet…

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Weird cats. Guess they’re bored when I’m gone. Wish they’d do something like put all my clothes away. Or clean something. Maybe I should leave dusting equipment out or a toilet brush.

I had gaming last night, but I’ve been grinding my teeth all week, plus the right eyelid has started twitching…and I haven’t gotten good sleep all week, so I knew I’d probably fall asleep during the game if I didn’t work at it. So I stitched the whole time. It helped me concentrate. I should just do that. It works for staff meetings too. So there’s the warthog block…

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Awww, they’re cute. And here it is with block 1, which still needs a stitch thing in the background, but I need a white pencil, and I can’t find one to save my life. In my house, that is. Kitten? Midnight!

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It’s on my list for today.

When I got back from gaming, I made the intelligent decision NOT to sit down on the couch. I went straight to tracing…

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Even though it was like 10:30…but I got into the 400s, which means I only have about an hour and a half left…just the necks and heads…hard to believe there are about 130 pieces in there. Oh wait, the last-minute cat and teacup are also part of that.

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Yes. I stayed up well past midnight. Why does this shit surprise you? This is how I live. All those stupid ass articles about how not getting enough sleep harms your health obviously don’t understand everything that I need to get done. OR the plus of making art in my life. I WOULD have slept longer today, but some small puppy thing was offended by coyotes and neighbors and I think just daylight and life in general. Dog walks today and tomorrow…seriously. I feel bad for him when I’m this busy, but I can’t fix that shit. I’m doing my best. He needs more entertainers. I need some kid to come by and leave me alone but play with him for about an hour a day.

OK, I have seven thousand things to do this weekend. Seriously. One of them might be to find all the feminist slogan t-shirts I can afford and buy them. OK, that’s not productive. But certainly here’s what’s on the plate for today: pet store for dog food (apparently they like that shit), JoAnns hell for that white pencil (or 10 of them so I can’t lose all of them like I’ve lost the three or so that must be in this house), grading as much as I can, finish tracing the current tiny quilt, probably eat dinner and hang out and watch movies or something (I can grade and/or stitch and/or cut up Wonder Under at the same time). Tomorrow, repeat, but add more school shit and grocery shopping. Pick up my big quilt, which I can’t show you until July. Hmmm. I’ll show you details.

Probably go buy more Motrin. Headaches. Look at art deadlines and make some sort of flow chart, because I’m losing track of all of it. Start taxes. UGH. OK, also need to consider septic pump, new tires, and oil change. If we’re gonna go into the big yuck of life and home and car ownership, let’s just fucking go there. Yeah.

Now I need to add sitting on deck in lovely sun and drawing (I really don’t think I have time for that, but it sounds extraordinarily nice…more likely tomorrow, but it’s supposed to fucking rain again tomorrow). Walk dogs! Walking dogs in sun will work. And I forgot finish filling second greenery trashcan, plus cleaning up the rest of the leaves around the pool. Ha! OK. First morning cup of tea is partially ingested. I can semi-function now. It’s possible that I live by myself for a reason LOL.

*Depeche Mode, Enjoy the Silence

Same As It Ever Was*

I honestly don’t envy the poor child who is stuck dealing with my sewing crap when I die. I just found a piece of wool that I’m pretty sure is part of the block-of-the-month quilt I’m currently working on when I have time (yes, rarely, mostly in waiting rooms). It was in my bathroom. On the counter. I have no freakin’ clue how it got there. None.

Now this is the same week when I forgot to eat breakfast twice. My brain and I are obviously NOT on the same page. I don’t even remember all the stuff I’ve forgotten to do.

Someone is gonna have to go through all these started projects and deal with them…figure out what to do with them. I like the process just up until I have to see all the blocks together…and then I’m done. Or I get like 10 out of 12 blocks done…and I quit. This is probably why I don’t make quilts with blocks in them. I would never finish. I’m not sure how I have the motivation to finish the art quilts and not the others. Deadlines? Shows? The other ones are more like just for the handwork and not so much for the display?

Meanwhile, I have to figure out where this wool belongs. I’m not even trying to figure out how it ended up in the bathroom. I’m sure there’s a good reason.

What did I do yesterday? School. Yeah. Continuing on the path of frustration, today we start a huge project. It’ll be OK. They’ll do fine.

I went to visit my mom in the hospital…2nd knee replacement. They run in my family, replaced knees. I’ve been told I will probably need one at some point. Good to know. Mom’s recovering fine. She’s tough. She’s fast-moving…needs good knees for that.

So I didn’t get home until late, then ate, then graded stuff for a while. I finally made it to the couch, where these guys have some sort of weird relationship…

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Simba was lying next to me and Midnight jumped up on my lap, then started cleaning him. Somehow that turned into his boisterous cleaning of her ears, with her purring the entire time. It’s a little creepy. He looks guilty, doesn’t he?

I put one more strand into the tree…one more after this and I’ll move onto the rest of it.

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Then it was midnight. So no, I didn’t get up and trace stuff. I was exhausted. I think I’ve been woken up every night this week by barking or my brain or my intestines. I’m done with all of it. I just want to sleep. It’s unlikely to happen, but it is what I want.

My math was wrong…calculating weeks until Spring Break. I had an extra week in there. I don’t know how, because I lost next week completely in my brain at one point. I skipped from the 24th to the 6th in my head (weekends don’t count anyway, but there’s a whole ‘nother week in there, so that’s wishful thinking). So as of today, there’s 6 weeks until break. That almost sounds bearable. Plus I have a real live vacation planned. Now the only problem with the recalculation is that it adjusts how much time I have to finish the art on my plate, which makes me feel worse about not tracing last night. Sheesh. Oh well. It’ll get done.

That might need to be my mantra for 2017…it’ll get done.

*Talking Heads, Once in a Lifetime