Motherland Cradle Me*

I did finally start stitching down last night, late of course. This week is always a hard one because of the time change. You start out OK with the early rise, even somewhat invigorated by the daylight hours after getting home, but I find by the weekend that I’m usually exhausted. Oh wait. That’s every week. Ha. Whoops. And I’m up early three days this week, even earlier…meetings for two days, and then today we have a couple of concrete companies coming to science, so we’ll be outside all day. Luckily it’s supposed to be cooler than it was a few days ago. But it will still be a long day. I might pull my mom’s “come home and fall asleep on the couch”…what she would do when it was her day to work at the hospital as a volunteer. Except I have those dogs. Hard to sleep with them around.

My biggest problem last night was forgetting Kitten had been sleeping behind and next to the sewing machine for weeks. I should have cleaned before I started stitching. Whoops.

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I didn’t stitch for long. But I got started.

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Honestly this wouldn’t take long…so maybe tonight I’ll finish. If I’m still standing. Wait. I don’t have to stand to do this. That’s a plus. Ugh. I’m already tired. And nauseated. That’s always fun.

Seriously though. If I didn’t have so much going on this week and weekend, I think I might be able to finish this quilt completely. It’s so small.

I’m still reading about Toyen…I originally thought I might be able to post two or three artists a week, but apparently the one I started with is so deep and complicated that it might take me longer than that. The internet has so many rabbit holes to fall down. Intriguing stuff.

OK, gonna go put sunscreen on and hope this day turns out to be interesting for the kids. Because if it is, it will be easy to manage. And that would be cool.

*Natalie Merchant, Motherland

Words Make My Mouth Exercise*

So I was right. I got no real art stuff done yesterday, except that’s not true. Because sometimes the business of being an artist is what we do. So I sewed two labels on two quilts…

Really exciting stuff. Actually, the really exciting part was trying to find the three quilts that need shipping in the huge pile that’s currently on my daughter’s bed, because I can’t handle my organization system any more, and I really need to tear apart my closet and build something, perhaps before she comes home in May, or maybe she’ll get that internship and I’ll be really sad she’s not coming home, but I won’t have to move all those quilts.

It’s just hard to know what to feel in that situation.

I got one of the quilts packed up for shipping…I’m hoping for the other two tonight.

They need ironing and slats and crap that probably means a trip to Home Depot after school. I’m so glad I think all this shit through (better put that on my calendar or I will totally forget).

Um. What did I do? Oh yeah. I added green grass to the right of the tree…straight stitches with some long lazy daisies interspersed.

And some more of this while hanging out and watching episodes of Walking Dead. I need to do the two eyeballs, the leaf parts and the center of the flower. Then it can get the embroidery done (well, on the left side) and I can retire that packet of papers that I’m currently carrying around in the official bag of shit to be embroidered.

THAT’S why I like to do them in order…so I can take that wad of papers and threads out and put them somewhere organized and only have two or so months in my bag. Right now it’s three? I think? Yeah. I’m stitching on February at the moment…the sheep? That was February. I can’t remember if I started another one? No. I was trying to do this one next. Pretty sure. Yeah. Because the next February one is two blocks in one. Anyway, my brain likes things to work in certain ways, very organized (yeah that right brain/left brain stuff is kind of a crock when you look at mine…and many others). I try to help it with that.

This morning’s sky was beautiful…for just a moment. I used to have a long morning commute to the east…it was a pain in the ass, but the skies were often the best part of my day. I do miss those. I don’t miss the 5 AM wakeup call. I’m really not a morning person.

I need to go to the gym today and pack up the other two quilts. I also want to start stitching down, but that might be too much…we’ll see. I’m still adjusting to the time change…finding it hard to go to bed at a reasonable hour.

I did start researching alternative artists…I started with women, but am realizing that some are more gender fluid than that…which I guess is part of why we didn’t get to study them in school. I think I’ve mentioned before that my art history portion of my degree was based on Janson’s History of Art, which didn’t add female artists until I think 1986. My female art history professor tried to supplement (before the internet) with stuff she’d found, and I obviously did some research on my own as a kid and a college student, but it was hard to find a lot of information in the pre-internet age. So I have a list of over 200 female or other genders to research.

I started with Toyen, a Czechoslovakian transgender artist originally born as Marie Čermínová. She logically found being male in the art world was beneficial, certainly being born in 1902 and living until 1980…it unfortunately makes sense. I wish I had time to finish this post right now and add her stuff, but I have to be at work and the puppy is being an asshole and refusing to come in the house. So I have to go get him…in the bushes. I’m looking forward to this about as much as I would to an enema.

*Violent Femmes, Add It Up

Take Only What You Need from It*

I really enjoyed coming home from school and sitting on the deck in the waning sunshine, the day still a bit warm, but starting to cool off with spring night temperatures. I probably got bit by some overachieving mosquito or seven, but it was worth it to just sit…only 30 or 40 minutes maybe, but better than most days, when it’s zero.

Of course, part of why I had time to do that was because Calli is injured, so I didn’t walk the dogs today. Calli was convinced I should throw that stick for her. Many days I do, but she’s still limping. I tried to explain that to her, but it didn’t go down well.

So I had started this drawing a couple of weeks ago. It’s still not going where I want, but since I’m not sure where I want it to go, it was OK to just draw shit.

Honestly, sometimes it’s OK just to wiggle the pen across the paper in a drawing motion.

I find myself drawing less than I used to…not enough time to just sit and do that. Life was supposed to get less busy with the kids gone, but it hasn’t really. I’m sure that’s my fault. I’m hoping next year is better, after we have most of our science curriculum set. We’ll see.

I did come home to a jury summons. I haven’t gotten one of those since the kids were little. And they picked not only Spring Break, but the week I’m planning on taking the first vacation I’ve tried to take for more than two days since oh maybe 2013. So yeah. I postponed it to summer…AND moved it out of downtown, so I wouldn’t have to deal with traffic and hellish parking.

Pretty sure they’ll kick me right off the premises pretty quickly. Maybe I should bring up the missing penis debacle.

I did the buttonhole stitch wheels in blue. There’s gonna be color in between them too…I left room for that.

And then while waiting for an episode to end, I stitched more wool down…with a puppy.

This is pretty relaxing as well.

I didn’t grade last night. We spent about 2 hours after work trying to spend some money we were given for science, more than we’ve ever seen. We wanted to be sure we did it well. I felt like I had worked enough hours yesterday.

Then I finally went in to iron…only the heads left. I always iron the eyes separately and then place them on the face…more likely to get the expression right.

Crooked eyes can really screw up the faces.

Yeah. Those eyeballs just floating around.

Heads done.

At this point, it was midnight. Of course, I should have stopped there and gone to bed and finished it tonight. Er. Um. I didn’t. I kept going.

So now she’s all ironed down and ready to go.

She’s got some batik running blue issues, but I can fix that. You’d think I’d remember to rewash dark blue batik when I use it as a background…but no. After 25 years, I still just go with it. It’s fine…I’ve dealt with it before.

Anyway, tonight I need to put labels on two quilts shipping to a show and pack those up and another one to ship out this week…so I might not have time to start the stitch down. I don’t expect it to take long though. I’m hoping it will be easier than it was on the last quilt…the tension was a bitch last time.

Anyway. Progress. Meanwhile, both kids are socked into blizzards and school is closed for the day. Actually, Boston hasn’t checked in…I know her school is closed, but not whether they got the snow they were supposed to…but Ithaca just closed. And Cornell rarely closes. Meanwhile, we’re slated to hit 90 degrees today. Wait. Boston (excuse me, Waltham) has reported “quite snowy”. And it’s gotta be a blizzard for Cornell to close.

OK. Well. School. Yeah. No blizzards here.

*MGMT, Kids

Oh Mother, Tell Your Children*

I realize it hasn’t been very long since I last wrote…although I walked a dog (I think I did that before I wrote last night, because he was being very demanding and I figured he needed it…as did I. I often need a walk.).

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I stuck to the streets this time, because I didn’t have much time before sunset and I only had the one dog…and he’s short. Long grass causes issues. It gets stuck in his badly designed fur and turns him green and grassy. Anyway. I walked him past the old chicken farm property, which still hasn’t been turned into the tract homes they said it would be (and I’m OK with that)…

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Lots of wildflowers here…did not venture to Anza Borrego this weekend (although I wish I could over the week)…this is a different one, one I don’t remember seeing before.

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These are just weird. Nature is so full of weird.

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After 3 miles plus (and whatever my ex did to try to tire him out), he finally settled.

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It takes a lot to tire that beast out. I graded for a while…it needed to be done, because there’s a pile waiting for me at work as well. It’s never-ending.

I did the purple butterfly wings…they’re actually chain stitches that chain off of each other.

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And then, because I was trying to finish watching an episode of something, I found block 3 (which is not block 3, by the way, but block 4, and block 4 is actually block 19 or something. Crazy numbering), which is sewn to block 5, and then started sewing down the stuff on block 5, which is way way way down on the embroidery pile.

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I only sewed until the episode was over. Plus I need to find the other three colors of wool. They’re not where they belong. It’s OK. There’s a box. I know they’re in the box.

Then I wandered in here and ironed a cat…

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Hard to see on the Tyvek…but it will show up fine on the dark background.

Then did the other arm and the stuff floating around it…

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And the teacup on her leg. And We Won’t.

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Because (a) everyone can balance a teacup on their thigh in this position, and (b) We Won’t.

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What’s left? Three heads. And one speech bubble. The time change screwed me over. Not only did I have to try to go to bed an hour earlier (a rampant failure on my part to actually fall asleep), but I had to be up early for a parent meeting today. When I signed up for it back in January or whenever it was, I didn’t know it was the Monday after Daylight Savings. Or that there would be multiple disturbances in the night (coyotes AND raccoons…a double dog-barking whammy). Anyway. This will be a rough week…it always is. But hopefully I’ll get those heads done tonight and have this thing fully ironed down before I try to go to bed at an unnatural time yet again.

*The Animals, House of the Rising Sun

Time Will Prove Everything*

Well apparently every online service I’m using has switched up its format in the last 36 hours…or less. I’m sure there’s a good reason for it. In the case of WordPress, everything that was over here is now over there. It’s OK. I got this.

I meant to write yesterday, but I lost time to taxes. And no, they’re not done. Almost. Well, if by almost, I mean I’ve finished the hour or so it will take me to track down all my teacher expenses. So yeah. TurboTax wants me to file in 4 days, so they should come here and find all those expenses for me. I’ve found all the others.

Meanwhile, doing taxes takes away from very important artmaking time. I think I did a whopping 25 minutes of ironing yesterday and zero so far today (aiming for after dinner, I think). So yeah…I ironed a spool, an embroidery hoop, and a pair of scissors. That’s it.

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Still have the other arm and the stuff floating around that hand, plus the three heads, a cat and a teacup. Huh. That’s actually not a small number of pieces. I’m a gonna say I probably won’t be done tonight. Just guessing. Because it’s almost 7 PM and I’m not cooking dinner, because I’m not hungry, because it’s not really 7 in my head, so everything’s gonna run kinda late.

Calli has no break. But signs of arthritis. Poor baby.

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So she’s off walk duty for a while. Which doesn’t make her happy.

Gaming on Friday…I’m still stitching. It keeps me awake…I need multiple inputs. It’s interesting though that when I’m really tired, creating shit keeps me awake. So it IS my fault that I stay up late.

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I got a good chunk done Friday night…

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And then came home and tried to persuade the puppy to come inside instead of trying to chase possums or bunnies, because I was hearing big animals up in the bushes and he wasn’t…so I wasn’t leaving him out there alone with the coyotes.

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I did three nights’ worth on this…let’s see if I can remember what I did. I did a light blue bullion and fly stitch above the orange lazy daisies I did last week. Then I added a green fly stitch, but there was still green thread left, so I filled in with a chained fly stitch below the tree roots. And then I did a satin stitch in columns below the orange lazy daisies. It looks kind of like a wall. Maybe.

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Back to filling in the spaces.

Kitten during tax time…needing entertainment…

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Last night, I finished this block, Block 4 of Sue Spargo’s Folk Tails.

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It’s really bugging me that I haven’t done Block 3…but to work on the embroidery, I have to sew on the wool pieces that are on the block that’s sewn to it…like block 15 or something, I think. I may do some of that first…just a bit a day, to get me onto the next one. It bugs me to NOT do it in order. Left brain/right brain crap. I wanna be really creative and all, but only in a certain order. I’m like that with my own stuff too…I like to iron all the pieces down in order. It bugs me inordinately if I’m ironing stuff out of order.

Here’s the three completed blocks…

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I don’t think they actually go together like this.

So my plan for the week…finish ironing the current quilt down and get it stitched down and sandwiched…then start quilting by the weekend. Seriously, none of that should take very long. By the end of the week, I’ll know whether I should be making another bathtub quilt or something else. Because time is flying past me. As always. This week is less meeting-heavy, so it should be good for dog walking (well the little dog, anyway) and going to the gym, but also for artmaking. I’m hoping. Let’s not think about the grading (again. as usual.). The left eye tried to twitch this morning and then quit. So that’s a good thing. But right now? I probably need to make dinner (ugh). Because my leftovers are my lunches…so that would be a good thing to have done before tomorrow morning.

morrissey

*The Smiths, There Is a Light That Never Goes Out (OK, this isn’t actually a quote from the song, but from one of the live recordings when Morrissey proclaims this post-song…2004 apparently).

I’m Not Catching on Fire Today*

Thanks to all for the birthday wishes. There’s nothing quiet about having a birthday at a middle school. That said, the million hugs kinda make up for the bad singing. Mostly. Really I was looking forward to coming home and making art. Sounds crazy, I know, and I did meet up and have a drink, and then went and got my favorite Indian food and picked up a library book (very important). After dinner, I went straight to the art. I think I ironed for more than 4 hours yesterday. Impressive.

I didn’t get ALL the letters, thus proving that you can read a message even with some of it missing…

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The kids followed through on a good birthday present…

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No. I’m not cutting my wrists. Just a long-term wish that I never quite made real. Now I have to, or as the girlchild put it, I’m stealing from my kids…

So the bottom is another pile of people. It looks a little chaotic here…it will be fine with outlining.

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Kitten is my faithful studio companion.

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I think I had Calli for a while as well.

Then ironing legs…

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And the giant World in a Crotch. Which I realize will set some people off.

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Eh. Sorry. Not. There’s a good reason for it.

So Calli is still limping and got herself stuck in the weeds…she got up there but couldn’t figure out how to get down without jumping on the hurt foot. She’s going to the vet today.

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And I need to do something about my weeds.

Later at night, puppy is refusing to come back in. He’s fine, by the way. No more explosions.

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Just chasing possums or bunnies…he separated a family of something and they were squeaking out there. Poor babies. And then the coyotes started howling. He came in then. So he’s not a total idiot.

And I kept ironing.

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And kept ironing. Remember this thing is SMALL.

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I’m mostly through the 200s…ready to start 300s, I think.

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Not bad for a school night. And an old lady.

*Cake, Sheep Go to Heaven

She Doesn’t Wear Her Shoes*

Oh yeah. I’m 50 today. I know some women don’t admit to their age, but this one is fine. I embrace that crone. Bring it.

That said, yesterday was a challenge. After teaching all day and an almost 2-hour union meeting, I went to pick up the one dog…she’s limping. My ex was trying to help by playing ball with her, because I was late getting her. OK. I got this. Lift her into the car. She’s not limping a little. She’s limping a lot.

Get home, walk in door, go to get puppy. Oh crap. Seriously. No literally. So there’s just no nice way to talk about bloody explosive diarrhea. Yeah. So I’m looking at this miserable little puppy and a room disaster. Get him outside. He needs a bath. So does the bathroom. OK. Priority? A little worried about blood. Find old towels that need washing anyway. Put on floor. Go to get dog. He’s exploded all over the pavement outside as well. Big dog is still limping. But hey, diarrhea wins. Try to get puppy in, but he’s bitey. And breathing weird. Grab another towel, wrap him up so he can’t bite me or explode on me. Sheesh, this is like when I had babies. Call emergency vet. I have 11 minutes to get there before the exam rates go up. Fuck.

Get in car. Drive. Puppy making weird hiccupy wheezy breaths in the back seat. I put him in a crate so if he explodes again, it’s easier to clean up. I haven’t been a mom for over 21 years for nothing. They take him immediately. I brought my stitching because you never know how long you will have to wait.

Spent all day trying to support girlchild with internship application thing…which, if she gets it, means she’ll be gone all summer. Which makes me cry. But it’s what she’s supposed to do. And it would be an awesome internship. Still makes me cry.

They call me in. Damn puppy is sweet as hell for them. Doesn’t try to bite them. No breathing issues at all. He saves that shit for me. He’s miserable. Yes…he needs meds. Probably giardia…I get there in my head before the vet even suggests it. Rainwater. I probably didn’t dump the water bowl after the last rain…plus honestly, with the amount of water we’ve had, there’s probably a bunch of standing water in the yard that I don’t even know about. I dumped the fountain over trying to get rid of some of it. Damn puppy. So he gets a shot and pills. (note to emergency vet…if I’m supposed to give him halves of a pill that doesn’t halve easily, my other vet halves them for me so I don’t shoot pills all over the kitchen while trying to cut them).

I get home. My dinner plans are ruined (supposed to go to book club). OK. But before that, wash puppy butt. Then wash bathroom floor. Then wash backyard pavement. Finally wash outside water bowl. OK. Dinner.

Well I was supposed to make my own “cake” for my birthday. Had a recipe I wanted to try. So I did that. Yes. I made dessert. Because. Just shut up and remember all the bloody poop.

As I’m putting that in the oven, boychild sends message…do I have time to Skype? Um. OK. Yeah. Thinking there must be something wrong? Or? So I set up Skype on the new iPad (passwords dammit) and there he is! Looks the same. Still no roommate (lucky). It’s a Skype question. He has a Spanish class where he has like a penpal (they have a better name for it)…and they have to talk to each other. She’s in Colombia. Very cool. But he’s trying to test it out beforehand. I barely see this kid in texts when he’s at school, so this is nice. Pretty sure he didn’t plan it for the day before my birthday, but I’ll take it anyway. He’s another one that might not come back this summer. He’s willing to take the explosive poop dog though (he SAYS that, but he might think otherwise if he’d had to deal with the mess today. Actually. No. He’d probably still be OK with it.).

Conversation over, nice long one (he’s procrastinating doing a homework assignment about Beyonce…don’t even ask)…I go back to the bedroom for some reason, considering what I’m going to eat for dinner (at 10 PM now)…Ugh. More diarrhea. Shit. Literally. OK. Got this. Clean it all up. More than one incident. I did take him out and he did nothing. Sigh.

Puppy is not happy.

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Finally eat dinner. It was not fancy. It had cheese and bread. And tomato.

And sit down. Finally. Almost 11. Yeah! Some days.

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Aw. Poor baby.

Did not do leaves…did that orange/pink thing on the left side. It’s got a name, but hell, I don’t know what it is. Lazy daisies connecting in a zigzag.

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And then, with a willpower that is kind of amazing sometimes…I sorted tiny little fucking pieces while watching the end of Victoria. I’m still conflicted about that show. I love it, but I wonder how much of the depiction of her is truthful. It’s a little on the Jane Austen end of the girly spectrum. I have a hard time with that shit.

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I don’t doubt that a woman can be strong and needy at the same time, or that she was young and had some typical flights of fancy associated with that. I don’t know much about Queen Vic…so that’s my own failing. Nine kids though. Yeah. She probably had someone to deal with explosive poop episodes. And someone to bring her dinner when it was all done. Lucky.

So the paper doesn’t like to stick on the little tiny pieces, unfortunately. These are the losers that lost their paper. Or that one tiny one I can’t read. Bad old eyes.

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I’ll figure out where they go later. All sorted, ready to go. No big pieces in there. Nope. Uh huh.

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So it’s my birthday today. You might have heard. I’ve got a few minor plans, but the big one is (Not Grading) coming home and starting to iron this together. I’m excited about that. I’m hoping there’s no poop issues too. But if there are, I already have dessert made.

(Today’s title is me. Because I never do. And that’s been going on for a long time. School really cramps my style.)

*Cars, Let’s Go

Love Was Changing the Minds of Pretenders*

Hello International Day of the Woman. Hello American Day without a Woman. I salute you both with a uterus and a few women at work in stereotypical ways…

Art Quilts and Fiber Arts

This is from my newest piece, I Can’t Be Your Superwoman, which can be seen in full at the Visions Art Museum in July. I am going to work today. Yes I know some school districts have shut down for today, but I also know my population. It’s not good for my kids. I won’t shop for anything. I might need to buy food at book club tonight, where we will be discussing The Handmaid’s Tale, which I finished (for the 17th time) last night at around midnight. I’d forgotten the ending. I’m wearing red…ironically, it is my union meeting today as well, a day where we also wear red. Not my favorite color to wear, honestly…but there’s a message there…especially after seeing how the GOP’s healthcare plan bashes women for their reproductive systems. Bashes poor women and their families across the board. How is this better for all? Their ignorance is noted. Their misogyny is noted. Abortions will be expensive and difficult to get…ironically, only the rich will be able to get them. Birth control is again on the chopping block, and maternity care…really GOP? You care about the unborn child but not the mother carrying it? It’s like going back to the Dark Ages. The elderly with no additional income? No break? Pay more. I am lucky to have a good job with good insurance. I know people who aren’t so lucky. I’m betting Viagra is still covered, and so are procedures for erectile dysfunction. Don’t mess with a man’s right to be a man; penalize a woman for being born with this inconvenient set of parts that just happens to be the source of new men (and women, hallelujah).

Feminism

Rants aside…hug a woman today. Or a womanchild. Try to walk in their shoes. If you are a woman, hug harder. We need all the support we can get.

More leaves. At some point, I will have the guts to venture out of the leaves. At some point, the tree will tell me to leave. Ha. Leave. Funny.

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I was a pet couch last night for a while, until I shoved them off and to the side so I could work.

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So here’s how it works when I don’t go to bed early enough…first of all, I started cutting out pieces after doing some other stuff. It was going OK, but looking at the pile, I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to finish last night. OK, no problem. I don’t think I said I had to be done on Tuesday. Just keep cutting. I’m watching Victoria at the moment, which I have some issues with (ironically feminist issues), but it’s still nice to watch. I’m tired. I look at the clock. Huh. Well it’s only about 11:20 PM…I’ll finish this episode and keep cutting and then go to bed. End of episode comes. I look at the pile of what’s left and it’s SMALL now. How did that happen? I was not paying attention. Well dayum. I’m not quitting now. It’s not going to take long. Start the next episode, keep cutting until I’m done.

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So that’s how I stay up too late, although I did OK last night. After midnight? Yeah, but not too bad. Then I went to bed and read the last 10-15 pages of The Handmaid’s Tale, because I knew I wouldn’t have time today before book club. That probably didn’t help. But that’s how my brain rolls. And now tonight I can sort pieces and maybe start ironing the damn thing together. Certainly tomorrow I will be ironing…ironing a woman down…ironing down a protest quilt. Seems like a good thing.

*Earth, Wind, and Fire, September

Everybody’s Got to Know the Word*

Things you’d rather not come home to…

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I got an email about this from my neighbor sometime midday (this is my property, mind you). The water pipe that’s been leaking for weeks…but maybe you could check with me in enough time for me to register a complaint? Or give approval even? But no. Sigh. I wish we had a good enough relationship for that.

It’s OK. When I first got his description of where he was going to dig, I was worried about the tree, but it should be OK.

I got the email at the beginning of a 2-hour staff meeting where I’m not allowed to have technology. How to get through a 2-hour staff meeting? I draw. My brain is in slow-processing mode in the afternoon…always. I’m voted most likely to fall asleep and/or get in trouble. And I can’t remember half the stuff they talk about because I’m not allowed to use technology to document it. I have piles of written notes in random-ass places that I will never find again. I don’t need more of that. So I’ll put it here…

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Of course, I may never see that either. I figure I must have been hungry for this one…

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For a good breakfast. And on fire. Or tired of the discussion…another 30+ pages for the April meeting.

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Yeah. I’m not getting much out of the book study we’re doing. I am drawing though. So I never found the other sketchbook. It’s hiding somewhere, I hope. But I found one I used to carry around. These are oldies…

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I can’t explain why the person who is supposed to be driving is reading a book.

Most of these were done in restaurants, waiting for food. Somewhat disturbing…

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This was my birthday four years ago.

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It never stops, the drawing urge.

I did more leaves. I may do leaves until the end of time. I did a lazy daisy nested in a lazy daisy.

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And then I cut for hours. I refused to do schoolwork. I just couldn’t. And I was hoping to get done with this. But no. You can see what’s left to cut out on the top right.

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I did a lot. I think I even did most of it. But there’s still a hefty chunk in there. At some point, my hands hurt. I’ve been trying a new pair of scissors. They’re nice and sharp, supposed to be ergonomic and for craft cutting, more paper and fabric than just fabric, but the spring action on them is harder to manage. I wonder about whether they think that’s good because I don’t have to pull them open again, but I do use more energy squeezing. I’m always thinking about how I’ll keep making art when I’m ancient…and maybe I’ll stop sewing, which would be sad, and start painting with big wet brushes, a la Matisse in his later years…big paper or canvases on the floor as I wheel myself around, caregivers racing around trying to control the paint splatter. That might be worth it. It’s true I wasn’t always a fabric artist, so I don’t have to be one forever…but the medium seems to have stuck. I’d be sad to leave it behind.

*Cameo, Word Up

The Soul within Will Tell No Lies*

I’ve just spent 10 minutes I don’t have trying to find my small sketchbook. I know it’s in here somewhere, because I used it less than a month ago or maybe exactly a month ago, yes, that’s what it was, and I’m the only one who lives here, so it IS wherever I put it last. That’s frustrating. It must be nice to at least mentally blame it on someone else in the house who possibly moved it or at least doesn’t remember NOT moving it, or in the boychild’s case, remembers where I left it and can tell me, thus turning it into a win.

I’m sure it’s somewhere logical, at least logical to me at the moment when I returned and photographed the three drawings I did in it at the last staff meeting, because that’s why I need it. I’m already up early for a parent meeting and then I have to sit through two more hours when I am at my tiredest. Yeah. Need drawing for that. There’s no freakin’ way.

The left eyelid is back to twitching. I know at least part of it is due to not enough sleep the last two nights, stress waking me up or some noise or some barky puppy. Last night, I was trying to finish reading the stuff for today’s staff meeting. It still seems vague and undefined. I’m sure that will all be solved by the meeting (insert rolling eyes here). One teacher called it dense. It’s repetitive, actually, and vague. I need more specifics. Presumably those are in later chapters. At the rate we’re reading, we’ll get to that in 2020.

I did manage to get a few things done yesterday, even though work sucked up some time…sending out the weekly parent email for the whole grade, plus warmups for the week, and trying to make a rubric that’s not stupid for these projects the kids are supposed to be completing this week. Behold the clusterfuck! is what I think I’ll be saying on Friday.

I started by finishing the ironing on the newest quilt…only 64 pieces, because it’s tiny…but finally more color.

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There’s all the pieces…mostly tiny, really. And not a lot of them.

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My parents gifted me this book by local author Christen Brown, as an assist on the year of stitches.

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I forgot to photograph what I did on this guy Saturday night…more bullions and the start of some chain stitching…

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And then this one, 60 days or so in…added more leaves. There’s more! I did use a stitch from the book…a lazy daisy with a tiny bullion knot on the anchor stitch.

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Puppy was curled up next to me but got tired of my moving around and so he pretended to be a cat.

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There’s my regular seating corner. The quilt ready to be cut out (I had been cutting until I remembered I had to read about 20 pages in a book for the meeting today), a puppy asleep, a cat mostly not asleep behind my head.

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A random dog toy.

So I didn’t get much cut out because of that book. I was trying to read and watch TV and focus on whatever and it was largely ineffective. It didn’t help that it was after 11 PM. Oh well. He (the principal) can’t expect much the weekend we were all working on grades. And I can’t expect much to be cut out. Tonight I’ll do better…

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I keep thinking I should solidify my schedule on this one, especially if I need to get another one done after it. It’s March 6…I should be able to get this cut out and start ironing this week, maybe get the ironing done over the weekend (remembering that I have to do taxes and probably grade some shit). Then iron it down to the background by the 13th, and do stitch down that week. Quilting the week of the 19th? Be done by the 25th…that’s late though, if I’m really going to get the next one done. Huh. Well. I should pull the next one out. I have to make a decision about making another political one or making one for the show in July, which is fully dependent on a show I entered that notifies March 15. OK. Well no decision until I have that notification. If it’s a reject, definitely do the next bathtub. If they take one? I’ll have to make an executive decision. If they take both? Do the political one. The one that’s not drawn. That might make the decision right there, if it doesn’t get drawn before the decision has to be made.

At least I can see it all in my head now. I needed the space to talk it through. Reasons why I have a blog…it’s not for you…it’s for me. This month. Sheesh. And I lose a week in April…for a good cause though, my mental health.

*Nightmares on Wax, You Wish (there was no actual singing in the version I was listening to…)