Oh my. This week is coming after me with a vengeance. My counselor used to tell me that I lived for stress, that it propelled me, and I don’t think that’s true, but it is true that I can rise (and fall) to the occasion. By the way, if you’re worried that I’m not doing fabric things too…I am. I sewed a label on Monday night, and last night, I did some drawing on the next big quilt, which I might start before I finish the other two. Oh wait, I’ve already started if I’m drawing, huh? So yeah, let’s do the fabric-related stuff first. I taped the big drawing together on Friday or Saturday night…can’t remember. Then I’ve been letting ideas percolate in my brain. I’ve got this whole crone/Mother Tree thing reverberating as all the crap comes in from the states banning abortions and letting healthy women get sick before they deal with miscarriages etc. I’m so angry about that. Nah! Medicine is stupid, right?! I tell you, we deserve to die out at the moment with some of the stupidity that abounds. So somehow all that is gonna get into one drawing. OK. A challenge. I need a challenge that takes my brain off work right now. So last night, I cleared everything OFF the drawing, then penciled a crone and a tree in (which you can’t see), but also finished all their legs and feet (which I didn’t photograph), and started with missiles.
The thicker black line is from the original drawing…the thinner is what I was adding.
Like I said, missiles. More to go. Now I have a plan. I only had about 25 minutes. After dinner and doing computer stuff to totally revise what I’m doing because my digital projector bulb at school went out Monday morning and they still haven’t found a replacement so I’ve been teaching without one and/or in the library, which is killing my hips for some reason…standing in there is just really bad on my body for some reason. I’m wearing different shoes today and trying to remember to sit down, but it’s a shitty setup in there, my kids all try to sit with their friends and then talk, which they won’t do in the assigned seats in the classroom. As much. Let’s be real. The worst part is the lack of communication from the district and our IT person. Literally no one answered the emails. It wasn’t until yesterday at 9:45 AM, almost 24 hours after the first email went out, that I knew we didn’t even HAVE a replacement bulb. Because why would we keep those around? Because teachers can’t teach without them? I did make a comment to my principal about feeling sick leave coming on if one didn’t show up for today (it won’t; hence my revising last night at 9 PM, fuckers). So. Yeah. My legs are already pissed at me. SCHOOL. Also don’t ask about literacy, the sub plan I don’t have for Friday because IDK what I’ll be doing or how far I’ll be or even what room my poor sub will be in while I’m doing literacy, so I guess I’m writing that Thursday night? Or next week’s stuff that I didn’t ask for. I’m not sleeping again. Grinding my teeth.
So in response? I’ve been claying more. I was so pleased on Monday…I finally got Her Weirdness done…
The holes in the arms are for hanging fabric wings of some sort. The tubes on top, fabric hair of some sort. If I ever sew again.
I’ll sew again. No worries. The back is not as exciting. And then, when I was trying to get her on a drying shelf, she tumbled. Sigh. She didn’t tumble far, but far enough. Ceramics is breakable and a pain and melts when it’s hot and is sometimes unpredictable and cracks and shit happens. I remember that. And it’s OK. It really is. She tumbled because I’m short. And now I know how tall the tallest lower shelf is and I will plan for that. Maybe. Really. I’m not good at following the rules anywhere.
So I started reassembling. Monday was really going to be putting the head on, triumphantly putting her on the drying shelf, and then finishing the planter that was going to be a mug but that was too big. Ha! That’s a no. So I went in yesterday too, just because I didn’t want to leave it until Friday and have parts drying all over the place. And first, I finished the damn planter to get SOMETHING on the drying shelf.
I know. Not fancy. Just a planter. I do have plans for some pretty utilitarian stuff.
And then I started in on her. There was one person in the studio when I started and he left pretty soon after, and then it was just me and that damn fly that wouldn’t leave me alone. I fixed both hands and the head, which had a crease in it, and then the cat, the poor cat, who is still missing some leg parts and her tail (that’s Friday). She looks angrier, which is acceptable…
That one eyelid. I thought about fixing it but I kind of like it. Yes, she separated in the middle, so I’ve been rehydrating that join on both sides, but everything else was so fragile, I didn’t want to try putting her together again yet. The left arm broke in half with part of the supporting wing, so I had fixed that on Monday, and did more repairs on it yesterday. It’s missing part of the bottom, so that’s a Friday fix. Can’t do it now, because it’s lower than the rest of that part. Can’t have it leaning on that. Then on the bottom, I fixed the snake head and tail, plus that weird lip the cat stands on. Those need to solidify before the next step.
I had this whole moment of ‘this is why clay is annoying; it breaks and shit happens’ and then I remember fabric has its own issues of dyes bleeding and machines refusing to stitch and looping thread nests, and I’m like, all these are solvable problems. I have the expertise and the knowledge. I can fix things. So I did. I can’t say that I didn’t cry a little bit on the way home, but that’s more a Holy Shit Can the School Year Just Fucking End thing than desperation because of clay breaking or no sewing machine or no projector bulb or Please Pile More Shit on Me school crap.
Big deep breath. Today is a mess. Tomorrow is a semi-mess. I will do fabric-related things both days while trying to plan school crap. I have so many things that need to get done that are not happening. Friday I will put Her Weirdness back together and get her on a shelf. Then I get to start something new in clay. Which sounds nice. Maybe something less than 17″ tall so it will fit on a shelf. Good plan. Today is all the things. In the library. (with a knife? or a bulb?) Then union meeting, late pilates, dinner, work(?), then draw. Sounds nice when you get to the end.
This is too real…
They forgot 7. Draw random scribbles that don’t look like anything and then gaslight your teacher by proclaiming, ‘But that’s what I saw!’. Yeah.
I’m concerned about the baby owls. We definitely had two. We could see them in the hole of the box in the videos. Then there was a lot of screeching Monday night. Last night, I never heard a baby. There is video of mom or dad(?) dropping food off. Maybe mom is laying another egg and babies are quiet because she’s in there? Hopeful. Don’t remember any quiet nights in the last two years though. Hoping everything is OK. Last year, there was one, then it went quiet, and then it was about three weeks before we heard another one. And we found one skeleton in the box. So yeah. Hope on.
Kathy Nida 