Good Goals

Hey, so I survived the first day with kids back. I didn’t have as many absent as I thought I would, until the last period (9 out of 27), and I’d seen some of them at school earlier. I remember my mom telling me when I was a kid that I wasn’t THAT sick, as she shoved me lovingly out the door to go to school. I probably did that to my own kids too, because who was going to watch them if they were sick? I was at work, their dad was at work, it was a pain to get a sub, all that stuff. Certainly I sent one kid to the nurse yesterday who didn’t look well, but I know some of them fake that stuff (not this kid) and some are just anxious as shit to be at school (I’m with ya, girl). I don’t want to BE sick. I don’t want to get someone sick. One of the many anxiety-creating mantras that have been in most of our heads for the last two years.

I only had 3 pandemic contracts for kids at the end of the day…we’ll see where we’re at by the end of today. Actually, it’s a week from now I’m thinking about…we’ll see where we’re at then. I’m trying to be really zen about all of it, just get the work done, you know kids will be out, this is supposed to peak by the end of the month, grades are due, it’ll all be fine, everything is fine. And then I cried on the way home from work yesterday. It’s not just work; there’s a lot of crazy going on and work is just part of it, and I’m tired (too many things disturbed my sleep on Monday night/Tuesday morning). Crying is a sign I need to read my book more, exercise more, draw more. SLEEP more. Ha. So what did I do? I finished grading the stressful assignment so it was done done done. I stitched a little. And I drew.

I have a pencil outline of the general shape, and there’s a hawk under the notebook, which just has lists of animals and plants from a variety of deserts. I need to make another earth mother. It’s where my head needs to be right now. I do love the last quilt…it’s all bound and sleeved and ready to be cleaned up for the photographer…

But the topic is stressful to see and feel over and over again, and I need some peace for the next one. Plus it took a long time to make that quilt, probably longer than it should have, because so much other stuff got in the way. I started drawing it in early October and didn’t finish until this week. And that’s it. I didn’t make any smaller quilts in between as filler. Effect of the day job, yeah? And the copyediting.

So my goal is to make this one faster, although it’s a similar size…maybe slightly smaller. And to stay sane and healthy. Good goals.

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