Magical Hope

Hard day yesterday. Just a lot of input into this introvert’s brain. It’s strange, because I do work with kids, and loud kids at that, kids that require so much interaction, but most days, the introvert just takes a lunch break and a few moments here and there, and then survives in all the moments before and after school, like sitting here writing in the morning or ironing fabric at night. Or on a hike or at the gym. But yesterday was a LOT of interaction and movement and honestly some babysitting, which I don’t like, and that made it hard. I don’t think today will be different, but I won’t have tutoring at the end of it. I do look around every 20 minutes or so and sort of revel in the kids who are hard at work on what they’re supposed to be doing, occasionally raising their hands and asking a question or needing help. I realize that maybe 10-20% of the kids are demanding the majority of my attention and causing all of my irritation. More moments of realization are helpful. The kids are good. Some are awesome. A few need serious help. Some are just dicks, but they’re also kids and dealing with shit. So there’s that. Very few will always be like that.

It’s what has gotten me through 16…wait, almost 17 years of teaching middle school. It’ll be OK. Tomorrow will be easier. Tomorrow we go back to teaching what we know, how we know it will work. It will be better. I could use a break from all the administrative crap of paperwork and forms and kids going on emergency trips who need an independent study contract at the last minute. Please. And thank you. Like now. Plus the rushing around trying to do all the other stuff. But otherwise. It will be better.

Satchemo is still not apparently eating, despite being plied with kitty treats and glasses of water on the ground. He is drinking a little, but definitely not well. Vet today. I don’t think it will be good news, but maybe he will feel better.

I had tutoring last night, so I was exhausted when I got home. But I graded an assignment and part of another one, just to get through them. They were piling up.

Then on to the ironing…

I really just have all this filler stuff to do, lots of little pieces and color choices. These are poppies…and this is a Joshua tree.

Maybe this is why it’s been taking so long? Because every 20 pieces requires 6 fabrics? Who knows. Or I’m just slow.

I ironed for 2 1/2 hours last night…I only have this stuff left to do. It’s a cactus or two, some landscapey dirt, a bunch of monarchs, and a rattlesnake.

In about 150 pieces. No…the flesh is already ironed, so maybe 100 pieces max. But it was midnight and I knew today would be tiring. I’ll finish tonight and then go back to cutting stuff out. This was the pile of chaos at the end of all that ironing…I just pile them up as I go.

But one side of my brain gets all perturbed by that and fixes it…

That part of my brain is still disturbed by all the colors not being together. I will resort to that at the end. There’s a certain level of satisfaction to all the greens being together from light to dark. Seriously.

I’m over 16 hours into the ironing. Crazy for 900 or so pieces. Oh well. Here’s what’s left to be cut out…

Because I’ve already done some of it. I’m hoping to have it all cut out by the weekend. We’ll see. I do have a deadline.

This is good.

Too bad I can’t show it to my students. OK, off to work. Hope the kitty gets better. That seems like a magical hope…much like my hope that today will be easier than yesterday. Yup. Well. Life.

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