Instead I Pour the Milk*

Still no sleep. It doesn’t help that I don’t think about solutions to not sleeping until 1:23 AM. Honestly, I should have just gotten back out of bed and gone and meditated and then come back. Worst case it wouldn’t have shut the brain up and I still would’ve been awake around 3. It’s only around 3 that I remember all the things that help. If I’d done them earlier. So hiking 3 miles at 3 AM is not a plan. Although it would be cooler out.

No. I’m not done ironing. What happened? Ugh. The day happened.

I’m so freakin’ close! Actually should have just stayed up last night and ironed until I was done…except I was tired. Not good to choose fabrics when you’re tired.

So one thing I did yesterday was this flyer…

I’m doing GISH again, the Greatest International Scavenger Hunt. My whole team is not in San Diego…and only one of them is not a newbie. We will not win. I don’t care. I drew the flyer, posted it on Insta (which is why I think it’s OK to post it here…I can’t post the other stuff until the thing is fully judged, which is ages away). It’s basically a week of doing weird things. My goal is one a day. I drew this two days ago, and then posted it in a nearby Starbucks, and then went and found 3 other flyers and pulled tabs to prove I’d completed the task. Then last night, I drew my Mind Palace. Piece of cake. You’ll have to wait to see it.

I did other things, including cooking, but then I finally ironed a bit. Not a lot. The heat is hard. This is the last female figure though…the darks are not up against the background, but I realized her hair will have to be. So I’m considering another cloud to make that work.

Last-minute clouds.

Kitten slept through the whole mess.

So at 12:30 AM, this is what was left. It doesn’t look like much (it’s not), but mentally it was more than I could handle. Lungs, heart, hair, cat, dick pic.

I have this pile of stuff I’ve been using…

Plus all these…

And here’s the box, oh so full. I should be cutting out sometime today.

Really, there’s so few pieces left. Oh damn…another set of leaves…forgot about them.

I’m at 25 hours, so I wasn’t that far off in my estimate. I have no jury duty today, but I have to call again tonight. Sigh.

Before I can iron, I need to go to the chiropractor (ah yes) and get my blood tested. Pretty sure it’s too early in the new diabetes medicine for anything to have changed. So she’s gonna wanna see me again relatively soon. Sigh. Everything has taken so long this summer, and tomorrow is when I start worrying about school officially. Although we did a lot of it already. I just need to rework my warmup process. That’s a big thing. Plus I really need to copyedit this thing I’ve got. And trim the damn bougainvillea. Boychild and I have a plan for that, but it can only happen in the late afternoon. I can’t deal with the heat. Stupid Northern Euro biology. Heat kills us.

Progress though. It’s all about progress.

*Suzanne Vega, Tom’s Diner

It’s No Better to Be Safe Than Sorry*

This summer, the heat is really getting to me. I don’t have a lot of extra money in general…even less so during the summer…but I’m sort of currently obsessed with installing A/C in my office for NEXT summer…and maybe the bedroom as well. Although I think my lack of sleep is more about noise (of the ceiling fan) and my brain not shutting down properly than about temperature…so A/C in there won’t help. It’s hard to say. I’m currently fighting heat rash on the inside of my elbows from ironing…I think if I could get my sliding glass door to open in here, that would help at night. I’m ironing more at night because (in general) it’s cooler. It’s at least dark. Sometimes there’s a breeze. So today, my plan is to get the sliding door to open and to finish the ironing. Then I go on to cutting things out…and YES, I’m a good three days behind where I wanted to be, but that’s reality, so you just suck it up and move on. I have no jury duty today, but there’s no guarantees on the rest of the week, and after this week, things get hinky. Sigh.

Anyway, I did manage just about 7 hours of ironing over the weekend…not great, but progress. My total is currently almost 22 hours, so maybe I will finish at about 25 hours. Hard to say at this point.

So let’s walk through the weekend. I entered another show on Saturday morning and did some techy stuff to help with that group. Kitten helped.

Calli also helped. She’s especially helpful when I’m trying to walk across this small room to get to the drawers of blue fabrics. Usually she leaves after I do that a few times.

More sleepy Kitten. She’ll be 10 in two weeks.

So the first thing I needed to do was pick the fabrics for the hill behind everything. I did finally decide on greens (no florals though)…and I dumped the last one…the lightest one…because it was too busy. I found another interim one and bumped the second-to-last one down.

I really like that fabric, but busy isn’t good for backgrounds…usually.

This is a lot of fabrics for what was two tiny figures on the hill.

I’m having to pull a different flesh run for every body…in this case, only a hand. It means I’m using a lot more fabrics than usual.

This was the pile before we left on Saturday for the man’s show…

And this is the to-be-cut pile. Growing growing growing.

Interesting wall near the Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach. I really like this wall…wish I could afford to put one in my yard.

So we had to be up there early so the band could set up, but I wasn’t allowed in (no problem)…so I found a coffee shop and drew. I have a piece that needs to be done by the end of October.

This drawing is pretty close actually. There’s some things I would change.

I ate and read my book and then walked back to the show…this wall was on the way.

No doubt about that.

Announcement board…

Here’s that drawing so far. Tree needs stuff. I think the whole thing needs more space. Not sure about the bottom leg.

In the Belly Up, we had an hour wait for the opening act…so I drew some more.

And another one…

The show was great…they did well. Hopefully it will turn into more shows for them. I don’t get to see all of the shows…the next two are high school reunions, so those are harder for me to get into (I do crash some things). I guess that means more artmaking time. On a Saturday night. Ugh. I do like to make myself get out of the house and do stuff, but sometimes, making art is easier.

So I started ironing late on Sunday. Got up late, did a bunch of stuff, groceries and all. This is the run for the next human…a light one.

I had to move 3 of the now 5 boxes of fabrics being used in this quilt so I had enough room on the ironing board…it’s the three smaller boxes on top of the grays. I’m still pulling from those boxes.

One of the fabrics I picked had a piece ironed to it…from I DON’T KNOW WHAT. Seriously. I obviously forgot about it, and probably had to cut it from something, but it’s a very low number. Strange. Maybe that small quilt with the hand?

Kitten is still holding down the fort. She likes to be near me, but isn’t keen on being out in the living room. This feels safer for her.

At some point, I looked at the clock and went Huh. OK. Well past bedtime. Wide awake, brain racing along, but I knew I’d have to pee both dogs and I’d be woken up at 6 AM and you’d think I could fall asleep that late, but no…my brain was going overtime on the next figure and how to make it stand out from the background. Sigh. I need to get the brain under control before school starts.

So the pile grows.

More today. I think I’m in the 1400s at the moment. I lied. I’m in the 1500s…about halfway through, but a huge chunk of that is leaves, so they’re all chunked together and will get ironed in one fell swoop. So I have about 350 pieces left. Easy peasy.

I did some Palestrina knots on the hippo last night at the parentals…

Almost done. OK, need a shower, some food, finish ironing, do some GISH stuff (google it), wash a sleeping bag, try to clean a tent that was immersed in Madagascar mud (yup, it’s been a while), and maybe check some other stuff off the to-do list. Running out of days. I start looking at school stuff August 1. I need to put my classroom back together too. Ugh. Don’t wanna.

*a-ha, Take on Me

I Know You Can Make It Good*

Hey world. It’s a Saturday morning. Looks a lot like all the other mornings except one of the household is still asleep. What have I done so far today? Perused the GISH list (google it…too late to enter) and decided on a few things I might be able to do today, transferred money so my mortgage payment won’t bounce (ah, the month with no paycheck), balanced the kid money output, and ordered about 250 folders for school…which will show up just in time and end up on the NEXT credit card bill, which I might actually be able to pay, because I will have a paycheck. Oh wait, I did get paid for that one day of jury duty…not covering the mortgage or the folder order. I’m not off the hook for jury duty either…I don’t have any duty Monday, but they didn’t release me from the whole week this time, so who knows. I’m hoping it’s a no go next week, because I don’t have time for it, but I don’t get to decide those things.

I know, really, all I’m doing is running errands, planning for school, and MAKING ART. Not really civic duty. Should be ready to serve. Blah. Pros: doing my duty. Air conditioned. Cons: the rest of it.

Tonight I’ll be watching the man at his first ever show at the Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach…he’s very excited. I think it’s cool, having seen a lot of amazing music there. I do have to be there 2 hours before the doors open, though, so you can find me in a local bar with my sketchbook, trying to draw the next piece and finish some GISH stuff if my brain can get there. I should find some food while I’m doing that. My requirements for a drawing bar? Food, wine (not just beer or cocktails), and a big enough table that I can draw on, or prop the sketchbook on, without people staring too rabidly at me (well, that’s a thing). So I have a couple of choices…none of their Yelp reviews tell me if I will get what I want, although I already pulled two off the list for no seats or not enough space. We’ll see.

Ironing yesterday was a total fail. By the time I cleaned up and ate and bought cat food, I only got in about 3 hours before I had to leave for gaming…I did stitch at gaming though…

I got the sun done and started working on the hippo. Almost done with this month…this month being July 2015, just to be clear.

It’s taking forever though. But gaming ran late. I thought I might be able to get in an hour or two, but was too tired and went to bed. Today is also going to be a little like that…oh well. Goals shattered. What’s new?

Here’s the heart of one of the female figures.

And I took this picture of the piles before I left for gaming, sure I would come back and straighten them up for the next batch of pieces (I didn’t).

And the box so far. Yesterday, I ironed graffiti, two walls, some bits and pieces on one woman…and that’s it. I’m just under 1100 pieces done. So almost 800 to go. Sigh. I wanted to be further along by now.

Oh well. Today? More pieces. Goal? I have to leave in 6 hours. I need to shower and eat at least twice in that time period…so that’s a lost hour, plus pack up stuff. It would be realistic to say I could get 4 hours done today. I won’t be done…but I’ll be more done than I was yesterday.

All the animals today…Kitten in her safe spot (she leaves this spot when I’m gone…).

Satchemo trying out the sink. Kitten does it, so why shouldn’t he?

Simba with his sad face on.

Calli after her first dunk in the pool (she had two)…

Poor old lady. The dog, not me. My feet hurt and my hips were bugging me last night (just a sign I need to walk more often). I couldn’t fall asleep last night…I remember 3 AM. I’m a little groggy this morning, but that’s why I drink tea. Got more milk yesterday so I can keep doing that. Looking forward to some drawing time tonight, some significant ironing progress today, and watching the band play. Sounds like a good Saturday.

*Peter Gabriel, Don’t Give Up

Sat by the River and It Made Me Complete*

So I just realized it’s Friday. And I go back to school in 3 weeks. I’m not ready. I never am. It’s not that I don’t like my job…I actually do like my job. I’d rather do my job than a million other jobs. It’s the time commitment. Every summer, I read a hundred articles about how to be a more efficient teacher, to spend less time grading and more time connecting. Last year sucked for that. I need to do better at that this year. It’s not the kids who are amazing or even not so amazing but will actually respond when you work with them…it’s the ones that refuse to do anything even after you’ve used everything in your teacher toolbox to entice them to actually turn something in. Those are the ones who suck it out of me. I spend so much mental energy on them. There were a lot of those last year. After 15 years of teaching, I still don’t have the magic solution to those kids. Frustrating.

But I have three weeks before I have to start dealing with all that. Three weeks when there is no way in hell I won’t know what day it is. So I should use that time wisely. Making art, really. OK, I have a copyediting job too and a bunch of house and yard stuff I haven’t even touched. As always. I still have one more week of jury duty call-in. I don’t think I’ll get called, but you never know.

On my mind today? The over 700 kids who couldn’t be reunited with their families…due to some mealy-mouthed crap from the government that really didn’t plan this shit out in the first place. So some of these kids have now experienced significant trauma that might continue for the rest of their lives. Thanks Repubs. Appreciated. You know they train teachers in trauma now? How to deal with trauma, shooters, abuse…fun stuff. Is it the government’s place to cause more trauma? I would hope we would be on the side of alleviating it instead of creating it.

So my original goal this week was to iron 6-8 hours a day and hopefully be done today. Ha! OK, so not going to be done today. Maybe tomorrow? But doubtful. I did iron almost 7 hours yesterday…I have almost 13 hours in…so about halfway in the guesstimated time, but no way am I halfway through the pieces. I’m in the 800s, but there are a bunch that aren’t ironed from the last woman.

I totally forget to photograph stuff while I’m ironing to fabrics…it’s just piles of stuff. Oh yeah, I walked the dog when it got cooler too. The other dog went with the boychild to his dad’s house. But this one needed exercise and I keep forgetting to do it.

It’s good for me too. Although my foot is really sore this morning. Damn foot.

Here’s the run for the third woman I ironed last night.

Usually there’s maybe 2 humans in a quilt…this one has 9 I think. Not counting the baby. The mermaid earth mother was purple and green. Then two shadow women were gray. One has a baby, also gray. Then the woman in the water, sort of pinky purple, black hair, green eyes. I looked at the other people and tried to decide how I would do each of them. I didn’t draw them originally with particular races or genetic traits in mind…well, except for one of them. I just want a range of womanity. So the next woman I ironed is the browns on the left of the picture below. I kept them out, because the hill behind her was going to be brown as well, but I have just now, right this second, questioned that. Why brown? Why not green and florals? Seriously? Some of what goes on in my head is contrast…how to make the figures pop. But this is a really busy quilt and maybe it’s less about the figures popping on what’s behind them and more about the overall look? I’m not sure. I color these in my head as I pick stuff…so it’s recoloring right now as I type this. I think it’ll be a while (hours?) before I get to the hill behind her, so maybe I’ll change my mind. Or not.

I’m going to have an issue with one of the women on the top of the hill, to make sure she shows up on the background. We’ll see. That’s 900 pieces away, I think.

This is all the fabrics I’ve used so far…plus the box of all the ironed pieces.

That is not a small number of pieces. This thing is big.

Not thinking about school. I’ll get some official email next week about school stuff. Even then, I planned ahead. I do have to put my classroom back together, but I’m pretty sure it’s not done yet (the floors need 6 coats). So I’m not sure when I’ll be able to do that. August 10th? Maybe. Hopefully.

Today? I’m not going to get 7 hours of ironing in. But maybe 5? That’ll be my goal. Another 5 tomorrow? I still don’t think that will be enough. Hmmm. Well, I’m progressing, so that’s good.

*Keane, Somewhere Only We Know

Working on It…

Ah, my head is filled with things. I have to admit to being a hermit when I’m head down, making a piece. I don’t watch the news, I rarely read it, I barely surface for meals, I don’t leave the house if I can help it. Sometimes bits and pieces of it surface when the people around me say something, and then I fall down a Google rabbit hole. I heard about Nia Wilson a few days ago, but didn’t follow up until this morning. Young woman of color, killed randomly (or not? probably not.). Shit. This world sucks for women in general, but add color to the mix and it explodes in their faces. Imagine as a mom…I worry about my kids all the time, but they’re white. It’s a million times safer to send them out into the world than if they were of color. It’s interesting (or telling, maybe) that so many times, we hear that the white murderer has mental issues…does this make it OK? Sure, the US does not manage psych issues well…there are very few ways to get some people help, but still…WHY did he murder a young black girl and try to kill her sister? Sigh. There is so much violence. None of it is OK, but it’s hard to believe racism wasn’t part of this death. If you raise your children to be blind to racism (and perhaps I didn’t do enough there…I constantly check myself in the classroom, with race, culture, religion, and gender…did I do enough?), then you are part of the problem. It isn’t enough to treat all races, cultures, religions, and genders the same (is equality enough? No, equity is the aim…make up for the privilege)…you have to acknowledge that there are stereotypes and incorrect beliefs in play. Constantly. I know this is something I try to do All the Time in my classroom. Do I do it everywhere else? Nope. I’m sure I don’t. Working on it.

So that’s in my head as I’m starting to pick out fabrics for this new quilt, which is hard to explain in terms of theme, but has more distinct human figures in it than any quilt I’ve ever made (they’re all female…which is another issue I keep going over in my head…the thought of gender and how it determines what we are, or not, and how to portray alternate gender issues from my perspective, which seems woefully incomplete). In my last multiple-women quilt, I had a long moment where I was troubled by my own whitewashing of experience. So much of my work is interior, based on my experience, not quite autobiographical, but mostly…yeah…me. So self-centered, white, but we do what we know? I can’t speak for others. But this quilt is about a wider experience of female, about viewpoints and issues and saving the Earth…really, it’s my brain on the news, a small portion of the news. Not all the women in the quilt are meant to be white. More of a universal womanscape…so my brain is percolating over whether it’s even OK for me to talk about immigration when it doesn’t affect me directly, unless you consider my students who are affected by it. But I won’t be deported. I won’t be torn away from my children (this pains me so greatly, those parents who were sent back without their children…WTF are the people in charge thinking, and if you say to me that those parents DESERVE that because they brought their kids up here, I will let loose in a rant about safety and asylum so verbose that the words might bury you). But there is immigration in the quilt. And pollution. And birth. And loss. And abortion. And breastfeeding in public. And the male gaze. Dick pics. Geez. And how to portray women of color in a way that doesn’t perpetuate racism or stereotypes or assumptions. I’m working on it.

It’s not pretty. It probably won’t get into the show for which I’m making it. That’s OK. I think sometimes I have to make these just to get some of this shit out of my head. Although getting this…Nia?…out of my head? Not happening. Love to her family. May she receive justice, although I don’t think that ever makes up for a death. If John Cowell is really mentally ill, maybe he will get the help he needs, but that will never make up for killing an 18-year-old woman.

We have to speak up. Us white folks, we have to hold the world accountable, best we can. Better than we can.

With all that in my head, here’s a rattlesnake skin picked up on the last hike…

Yeah, I just left it on the hat rack. Like you do.

I started ironing yesterday with the oil slicks. I got fabric for that.

Hell, I’ve got fabric for everything. Who am I kidding?

Then all the water…this took a while, both to pick and to iron.

I took a break. Satchemo enjoying the breeze with the second tower of Wonder Under pieces. Hopefully he won’t knock that over.

Boychild made dinner. This incorporation of three people into meal choices can be difficult.

‘Twas tasty.

Then I saw this message in multiple places explaining the Original Sewing and Quilting Expo’s official reason for removing the Threads of Resistance exhibit from their last two shows…

Um. Yeah. Right. (cough…bullshit). Hey, I don’t have a problem with your pulling it because your sponsors and vendors objected and threatened to pull out…but be honest about it, please? Sure, your vendors and sponsors don’t want to be called out, but hell, this world would be a better place with some sincere honesty. Then I can look at the sponsors and decide if that’s where I need to focus my efforts next (there are three sponsors listed whose products I use all the time…). I find that often the negative comments are so loud that vendors and organizers can’t hear the positive comments. Maybe they need to hear those. Louder. Like, I made my Threads of Resistance quilts USING YOUR PRODUCTS. I have a Viking sewing machine. I use Sulky threads. I use Wonder Under. I buy fabric from just about ALL the companies. My batting is Warm and Natural. There. Those guys. (By the way, none of them have given me anything for free…)

I’m back to this, although having a wool quilt on your lap in summer is still an issue. I haven’t been working on it at all.

Time to get the balls done. Seriously.

Then back to ironing. I set a goal for yesterday of 6-8 hours of ironing…I made 6. Every time I took a rest (from standing and the heat in here of ironing under bright lights with little air flow), I would let myself sit for a bit and then I would say, I need to go back to ironing. It worked.

Here’s the mermaid earth mother…all in greens and purples.

I still need to do her internal organs and her hair. I quit just after midnight. I was tired.

So I’m in the 400s, but there are some of the 300s that aren’t ironed yet. The pile of stuff to be cut out and the pile of fabrics used so far.

Based on yesterday, it’s going to take more than 25 hours, but not much more. Today’s goal? Another 6-8 hours…hopefully on the longer end of it, because I’m starting earlier. Although I might need to leave the house. I can’t handle anything else when I’m in this space, in this head space. Careful introspection of how to depict women of color in this quilt. Sometimes I just want to make them all rainbows, but that’s a cop out too. Working on it.

Is It Because It’s True*

I have no idea what I thought I would get done yesterday. I know I did some stuff, but it never feels like enough…although I’m sitting in my studio at the moment and it’s almost sort of clean. And I know I should go to the gym today, but honestly, I just wanna iron. Even though it’s hot today and the gym is air-conditioned, I want to get going on this quilt. I parsed out the time in my head last night that this quilt needs while trying to fall asleep (this is probably partially why I can’t sleep at the moment), and it’s going to be tight. I have people visiting and things I can’t take with me on trips and school starting and people gone and it just is too much. Plus art exhibits that need entering all over the freakin’ place. Deep breaths. It’s summer. Yeah? It is. Relax. Ha! Don’t know how.

No more political stuff today, no more worrying about censorship today…just going to make the art I make and then I’ll get irritated with the universe again when there’s time and space for it. Not today.

So after all the chaos with the portable air conditioner and trying to make space for it in here and justify the expense, and not falling asleep (again) because my brain was trying to debate its usefulness and what else I could do in here when it’s really only a problem maybe 10-20 days a year, a REAL problem. So it’s gone. We returned it. I say we, because it weighed like 70 pounds, so even moving it was a problem. Boychild is useful. Sigh. In the long term, it probably makes sense to put in a wall A/C unit in the space where the never-used TV is (I watch the computer now). But not in summer…in winter, when they’ll charge me less. So today we sweat. And you’ll remind me in the next few months, as this hellacious summer continues through October, that I decided against A/C in here. It’s supposed to be 106 degrees today. In July. It’s never this hot in July. Makes me afraid of August and September, when we get our worst heat.

Anyway, once the sun got full overhead, I went out and sorted Wonder Under in the other (much hotter) room…although there is more light in there now too, with the trees trimmed…we still need to go whack the shit out of the bougainvillea that went up into the tree, but that will require a chainsaw. And a cooler day.

Strangely, the guy hasn’t shown up for payment yet. I’m sure he will. I’m so glad he didn’t make lollipops out of my trees.

Properly laced, those are. Hallelujah. Now to save up for the next two.

So it took about 2 hours to sort all 1900 or so pieces.

With two fans blowing on me. Luckily, they are low enough that they don’t blow pieces out of the boxes once they’re in there, although I did have to chase after a couple that got blown out of my hand while placing them.

Time-consuming, but necessary in the long run.

Then after dinner, I headed in here to try to straighten it up for ironing. It looks packed because it is. But I put away all the fabric from the last quilt, plus straightened up in general after trying to fit the air conditioning unit in here. Really, this room needs a major remodel and culling. I do a little every once in a while, but it’s not enough. I have drawers of fabric I can’t even access at the moment, which is silly. But it’s worked for a long time…I just need more logical storage.

The drawing is hung. I’m almost ready to iron.

I sorted the first 100 pieces, but then I was too damn tired to start ironing. So that’s today.

Kitty standoff.

So I figure the ironing will take about 25 hours. My left foot is still bugging me, so I’m going to STRETCH like a good girl and wear my Crocs because they are squishy and not as hard as a concrete floor and I’m going to take breaks, but I want to be done with ironing by Saturday when I leave for the man’s show. Can I do that? I can. It won’t be easy. But I can. Honestly, I should be able to do it in three days, but we have gaming Friday night…so I’m giving myself that extra time. A plan! I have a plan! Which I will inevitably screw up, but that’s OK…that’s life. I find I do much better if I try to make a plan.

*Jem, They

Kept Alive by the Pouring of the Moonlight*

I’ve been listening this morning to Sue Bleiweiss, one of the organizers of Threads of Resistance, talk on the Just Wanna Quilt podcast run by Dr. Elizabeth Townsend Gard about the Threads of Resistance exhibit and the reactions at the Texas and North Carolina shows…very interesting to hear. Sue says something during the podcast about why we (sometimes controversial) art quilters do what we do…basically, we have something to say and we want people to hear/see it…to have those of a like mind have a place to feel validated and maybe motivated to make change or art in response, but also to have those who disagree see other viewpoints. I know I surround myself with people who think a lot like I do about politics, and it’s not a bad thing to hear other viewpoints. Hearing them doesn’t make me necessarily believe in them, but I think the conversation is important. To have a group like the Artist Circle Alliance put this show together and find venues and create and print a beautiful catalog is an amazing thing. I’m one person who mostly sits in her house and doesn’t talk to humans in person and makes art for hours on end…and I fully appreciate all the work they’ve done to make this show happen so my voice and others can be heard.

So when people demand that the show be canceled or they boycott an event where many other things are hung and vendors are selling stuff, solely because of one piece of the show that they object to, it is a way to silence those voices…to shut down parts of the country that have valid opinions and beliefs. I understand, for example, not wanting to be part of the Women’s March because you don’t agree with what it stands for…I don’t understand trying to shut the march down so no one can voice their thoughts. The United States has a history of shutting down certain groups, of not listening, and I had hoped we were moving into more open communication in the last 10 years, but it seems all those thoughts and feelings will not be allowed. That is unfortunate. It’s not what’s best for the country. As a teacher, I always have to consider the child, each one of them, and decide what is best for my students…as a whole and as 150 or so individuals. It’s difficult. No, sometimes it’s a rancid pain in the ass. I do it anyway, because it’s right. Same here. We need to allow discussion, expose misconceptions, shine light on some of these thoughts in order to come together. It doesn’t mean we have to agree…although agreeing on some basic human rights would be nice. If you just shut down discussion, though, no change can happen.

Anyway…it’s hot here in Southern California…not as hot as it will be tomorrow, but hot nonetheless. Heat waves in July…no climate change, yeah? Right. This was me and Kitten for a good chunk of yesterday…resizing pictures (Kitten is useless at this)…

Watching videos about installing portable air conditioners (still useless, Kitten)…

I’m debating this thing…it’s huge in here, but it does cool the room off. But it’s gigantic and loud and this isn’t a big room and I have to have the door closed and then the animals can’t come in and I’m not sure if I like it or not and I don’t know whether to keep it.

Sigh. The air conditioner is causing me stress.

Last night, I cut stuff out for over 4 hours…Puppy came and went. There’s a fan to the left of him, so I have to place the box appropriately so all my bits of Wonder Under trash don’t fly all over the room.

I changed to a bigger box. I knew I had to be up early to deal with tree guys, so I went to bed…well…not really very early, honestly. Oh well. If I’d stayed up another 30 minutes, I would have finished the Wonder Under cutting extravaganza.

‘Twas not to be. Many people (OK, only two) thought my scissors were onion rings. Now I’m hungry for onion rings. I’ve never made onion rings before.

Nope. Just my beat-up old scissors. Seriously, they are puppy-chewed. But they are the best for this. No drag, comfortable for hours of cutting. Strange, I know, considering their non-paddedness.

This is all I had left…about half a yard.

I finished this morning before 8 AM. Ugh. I don’t like before 8 AM. That was 12 hours and 20 minutes total of cutting…on Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Well and 23 minutes on Tuesday morning. Not bad.

Here are the trees in question. Not the best picture. I have two giant ficus trees right next to the house, and as they have grown and grown and grown, they now pose some branchy issues for the next storm. Yes, I am dreaming of storms.

A view from the backyard…over the house. They are a bit rampant. And the bougainvillea has grown into them. I have lots of trees. I love trees. I’m hoping this guy is good and not a lollipoper. I hate when they lollipop trees.

Because I’ll use his business again if he’s good.

Anyway, now I’m ready to sort Wonder Under into 19 bins by number. But that’s the eastern side of the house and it is currently in full sun. So maybe I’m in here typing and then cleaning up and trying to decide about this damn beast of a cooling machine. I think an in-wall unit makes more sense, but that isn’t happening any time soon, is it? Nope. It’s not. Aargh. Heat makes me a little crazy, I have to admit.

There’s the bins, waiting for the sun to hit its zenith. Plus I have to take Calli to the vet this morning. It’s gonna take a good 2 hours to sort those.

So sometime this afternoon for that, ironing by the evening, I’m hoping. I need a background (hoping I already have that too). Cleaning for now. Oh. And I have a copyediting job that just popped up. Ah timing.

*IAMDYNAMITE, Stereo

Open-Minded Snowflake

You’ve probably heard (if you care) that the Threads of Resistance exhibit got pulled from two shows, one in Virginia and one in Michigan (wow, I don’t know anything about dealing with censorship in those two states…excuse the irony). The problems started in Texas, though, and continued in North Carolina. There’s no definitive answer as to why, but one assumes it has something to do with complaints and vendors and how the organizers make their money.

I’m back to that belief that we should allow differing opinions without demanding that organizers shut down exhibits because they are that offensive to someone. I would say that there’s something about our current political climate that makes people think they can demand that their viewpoint is more important than anyone else’s, but realistically, that’s not true. Censorship has been around longer than that. It’s disappointing that (a) the organizers did not stand by their commitment to the exhibit and (b) that people have to be so narrow-minded as to not allow other viewpoints to be around them. If I were in an exhibit of work by say Trump supporters or of anti-feminist work or anti-immigration pieces, I would view them and maybe converse with organizers or artists if they were available. I wouldn’t get angry. I would ask them why they feel that way or dig a little deeper (if allowed), and then what I wouldn’t do is go demand the organizers remove that exhibit or piece from the show. I am an open-minded snowflake, you see. Maybe more people should try that. But you know those people aren’t reading this blog.

Note to self: Don’t talk to people on Facebook unless you know them in person, and even then, it’s questionable. I just hate it when people make shit up, though. I often start typing something and just delete it. It’s better that way. So conversations have to be in person? Maybe. Maybe when they’re looking you in the face, they can’t call you ignorant 17 times. Sigh. Seriously. This is like my day job.

I can’t walk away from Facebook, unfortunately…I have at least one group where I manage their postings. So I’m on there. I just need to moderate my own responses even more than I already do. Or maybe not.

Threads of Resistance will continue to the shows in Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, and New York…no worries there. And both of my pieces have body parts (they both have penises! And uteri! And boobs!), so they are in what one woman called the “vulgar” room. You know, the old definition of “vulgar” was characteristic of or belonging to the masses…so I’m OK with that. Here’s the two pieces (weird that they both have trees in them, eh?)…Work in Progress and Absolutely Nothing…

Meanwhile, I’ve gotten almost nothing done today except researching portable air conditioners and trying to get the tree guy to call me back. Yesterday was better…although I need to get used to having that quarterly meeting in the middle of the day instead of in the afternoon. I can’t get anything done before it, and it was a stretch to get stuff done afterwards. During the school year might be more difficult.

Oh yeah, we had a peregrine falcon by the pool on Saturday. Very cool…not sure I’ve seen one of them locally, although they are native. Apparently. Great picture, right? We tried to get closer and of course, he flew off.

We went to the opening at Visions Art Museum down in Liberty Station…Kathy Weaver’s works were amazing. I have liked her work for many years and it was nice to see it up close. Then on to dinner at Soda & Swine, one of our favorites, even if we can’t ever remember which is spicier, the Hog or the Swine.

Then home, where I finished weaving this for the meeting the next day, although the woman I was supposed to be handing it over to wasn’t there, ironically. Strangely, I thought this and the two small quilts had to be done by yesterday, so I worked to get them done, and both of them are still sitting around my house. Oh well, I’ll mail this off…

I finished tracing Wonder Under Saturday night at around 9:30 PM, with a total of 22 hours (just under the 23 I finally estimated, but over the 20 hours I originally guessed). I had already started cutting out on Thursday. I think there were about 10 yards of Wonder Under total (some really big pieces)…

Saturday night, I finished the half yard from before and cut out another yard…so that was 4. I guess that means there were 11 yards, although one’s not full. Because there were 7 yards left on Saturday night…

Yesterday, puppy was really tired. He was so happy here…tummy scritches and a fan blowing his fur around. Bliss.

After dinner last night, I watched Harlots (for the costumes, of course) and cut more Wonder Under out.

OK, so shows like Harlot are entertaining, but then the feminist in me gets upset about the stereotypes and the portrayal of women and the lack of realism in general, and then I wonder what I can actually watch any more that is just kinda fun and interesting and not causing me to question my entire existence. I can’t watch movies any more without wondering why the women always need help, get kidnapped, wear totally inappropriate clothing for the task at hand, or just outright get killed. Something about being old and female, I guess. By the way, if you ever watch The Rover, the whole movie is pointless until the last 5 minutes, and you don’t know it’s pointless until the last 5 minutes.

I kept watching Harlots (with the great costumes) with the hot and furry boy curled up next to me.

I only have 4 yards left to cut out…so at some point on Sunday, I must have gotten 3 or 4 yards cut out. The box is full…I’ll have to upgrade to a larger one.

So I started writing this post in the morning, a good 5 or 6 hours ago, and then got heavily side-tracked by a need for cooler air. We researched air conditioners, we’re currently testing a portable unit in my office (it’s a bit large), we looked at a wall unit that was heavily ensconced in years of dust in my parents’ barn. We bought another fan. We might take back the portable unit if it doesn’t do what I need it to do. Sigh. And maybe plan for sometime in the next year or so to put a wall unit in here. Part of the remodel? The remodel I can’t afford? Yeah.

Well the tree guys are coming tomorrow morning really early, to beat the heat, so that’s a whole ‘nother issue. I can’t leave the house while they’re here…the dogs are gonna be frantic. I have to be up early. I want to be working on something. If I finish cutting out all the Wonder Under tonight (possible), then I don’t have a background fabric yet…unless something lying around here would work. Maybe. But I can sort Wonder Under and maybe get started on fabric…but only if I decide permanently what to do about this giant beast of an A/C unit in my office. Double sigh. Because I had to move a bunch of stuff around so I could get the window vent in, and I need to decide if that’s a permanent thing, or if we’re gonna leave it jimmy-rigged like this for the next two months and then take it out when it cools off again. Aargh. Decisions. It’s too hot to make them. I can decide to publish this thing though. That I can do.

Heads on a Science Apart*

I haven’t really been paying attention to the total hours on this thing. I’ve just been head down, tracing. I did another 5 hours yesterday…not as many as I wanted, but I did some other stuff too, so I’m OK with it. I’m in the low 1400s, so I have just under 500 pieces to go…probably about 5 hours. I might get that done today? Maybe? Maybe not? It’s harder to trace in the morning because the sun hits that side of the house and it’s hot. Nighttime is best.

I have 2 1/2 yards cut out. I filled another 2 yards and set them aside for cutting, and then I think there are 3 more yards in process. The big pieces take up a lot of space but are quick to cut out usually. I’ve been trying to lump together like pieces as much as possible, like all the bricks in the walls, because that also makes it faster to iron and cut out.

Musical interlude by boychild and dogs. Seriously, the Golden sings and the Pom barks.

Sometimes I wonder how crazy my designs are…see those tiny pieces? Yeah. Birth control pills. Fucking insane.

I feel like I’ve been tracing for DAYS. Well. OK, it has been a few days.

Only half a gecko. Not even half.

The other night, I just left the room lights off and had the TV and the light table on. I made it through a couple of series of TV shows: Crossing Lines was OK and Secret City was interesting for the insight into Aussie/China viewpoints. World politics from another place in the world. Anyway, I don’t do a good job of paying attention to shows when I’m tracing, so it’s OK that they were just OK.

I just have two main figures (and about 17 thousand leaves) to trace. Easy peasy. I should get started on that.

Satchemo loving the Madagascar iguana the girlchild brought me…

Great colors. Anyway, gonna go do some more tracing. Oh yeah! I’m at 17 hours and 45 minutes. I was hoping for about 20 hours…think I’m going well over that. Probably 23 hours. That’s my guess anyway. Then cut them out and start ironing. I have no jury duty next week, so I’m planning a vet visit for the UTI dog, call the tree guy back and see if he can do it in the next two weeks, get the Honda serviced and the back window cleaned up…but otherwise, hoping to get to the fabric ironing earlier in the week (it’s supposed to be a million degrees here next week…that will not help). The foot still hurts. No, I didn’t try the pickle juice. I did apply heat and I stretched and I wore shoes while tracing (ugh…too hot). Maybe it helped. It hurt when I went to bed last night, I think because I naturally point my toes when I sleep instead of keeping the foot perpendicular. I do have a night splint, but it’s hot and uncomfortable. Then again, everything is hot and uncomfortable this summer.

Art! Go make art.

*Coldplay, The Scientist

Oh Take Me Anywhere, I Don’t Care*

I actually left the house yesterday. I’m kind of in this frame of mind where I would lock myself up in my studio if I had one. But I work all over the house, so I guess my version is the one where I never leave the house except to get the mail. I only left to run errands at first, but then actually went to a social thing (well, one where I could make art as well). I have another errand or two for today, but they could be put off for a day or so. Hmmm.

Anyway, so I did not trace as much yesterday…although I still worked on the quilt for almost 7 hours, so I’m not really chastising myself there. I spent a little under 3 hours cutting 2 yards of Wonder Under out…so that was a good start.

I had some computer stuff to do yesterday, so Kitten gave me some love.

I hung out on the boychild’s bed with dogs again. This one is cute, except at 3 AM when he hears zombies. Or raccoons. Or whatever the fuck he hears that puts us all in imminent danger.

After the boy left with the dogs, Kitten ventured out into the living room for the first time in forever. She’s been weird about coming out since the boy cat moved in (almost a year ago). But last night, she just waltzed out, sat in her favorite spot, and flicked her tail all over the place until he bopped it. Because that’s how he rolls. He sees her and makes a beeline for her but doesn’t usually attack. It’s kinda like he’s saying HI HI HI HI HI over and over again and she’s a little nervous about it.

I did start tracing after dinner…

And she eventually settled down in her favorite (most annoying) spot…on what I was tracing. She hung out for quite a while, though.

Not sure what changed in her mind, but I hope it sticks. Anyway, I traced for about 4 hours…got about 300 more pieces done, so not my goal of 600 or so a day, but that’s to be expected if I’m not home. I finished one graffiti’d wall and have this one to do. Complicated as hell to trace. Probably much easier to iron.

Anyway, like I said, I could run a couple errands today. I was planning on going to the gym, but my left foot started cramping last night really badly and is still painful today. I’m hydrated, I soaked it in hot water, I tried massaging it, but nothing’s really working. I don’t know what I did, although standing for hours might not be helping. Who knows? I do plan to get through another 600 pieces today…so hopefully that will happen. I already entered an art show before I wrote this, so maybe that’s the only thing I have to do today. I probably need to eat something. And maybe finish my tea. Sleep. I dream of you.

*The Smiths, There Is a Light That Never Goes Out