Yesterday was interesting. I gave a test. I’ve given a few tests this year. I always give the kids a study guide (required) with all the test questions and then they can use an index card on the test, with anything they need on the card. I’ve had so much apathy this year, from kids and parents, that it’s truly been one of the most frustrating years for me ever. I’ve questioned everything I’ve done all year, and finally sort of gave up on them. I couldn’t persuade them to turn work in, to prepare for a test, to give a shit. Until today. And I swear, I did nothing different, but today, almost every single kid turned in a study guide, most of them complete. Almost every single kid had a card. It’s like lightning hit them and their brains lit up with “OH YEAH! That’s how you STUDENT!” I was boggled. I didn’t know whether to be ecstatic that they finally figured that shit out, or annoyed that it took them so long, or just fucking confused because WHY NOW? Why not all the other times? What was different?
I think I just input those grades and hope to heaven the test grades improved as well, and never think an entire year is a failure…know that it might happen in the 10th month of the year that they finally figure it out. This is the stuff that bugs the crap out of me when people talk about making teachers accountable. I did nothing different in the first few months of the year, then started noticing the failing trend, the inability to turn work in…and I tried to figure out how to make things work better, worked MY ass off, honestly, worried myself, stressed out, blamed myself, had a really hard year. I’m not sure anything I did made a difference. Or they just reacted to all my work so slowly that I couldn’t see it happening.
I’m boggled. Still. I hope their test scores match up with the work they did…because then they’ll see the connection.
I was exhausted when I got home though. I walked the room while they tested…you don’t think about walking all day, how tiring it is, until you get home and sit down. There were things I wanted to do, and I was just too tired. I finished up some grades on an assignment, input all the stuff from today, and then made dinner. Then I did seating charts, because it’s time to move them around again to try to deal with some behavior issues.
Next step in the artmaking process? Trimming fabric pieces or finishing the big drawing. I know I’m going to quilt class tonight, which is a good place to trim stuff, so I decided to try to fit a giraffe on the drawing instead, because it had been in my head since last week sometime.
I found a picture that worked in the space and made the decision to have her standing in front of the rib she crosses over. I’m not sure what I’ll do with the others…maybe it will be a rib-by-rib decision.
Then I had this small blankish area to the left of the giraffe, under the uterus. Tulips! Of course. I can’t really explain how things pop into my head as I’m staring at these blank spaces, but they do.
This is actually a pretty large space to fill…even with the ribs drawn in.
It was after midnight by then, so I stopped. I’m not sure what to draw next. I have notes about bees and lizards and cactus, although I already put a prickly pear in. I already put in a cat…there’s always a cat. I always have birds too…I think the crane counts for that, although there might be more later. I’m debating a raccoon, after watching Guardians of the Galaxy while grading last night and staring at Rory from Furiously Happy for so many days. Probably putting a furiously happy raccoon in there won’t fit, but a real one might. I’ll think about it.
Turns out my Celebrating Silver quilt Awakening the Crone will be traveling to China, once again having a way better vacation than I ever do. The whole show will be at the 2016 8th Asia Quilt Festival in Shanghai, China, from September 21-23, 2016.
I keep waiting for the organizers to email me and say all of them are going except mine, but that hasn’t happened yet. Cool beans.
Kathy Nida 
Such a delightful post, Kathy. Your irritation (could insert stronger word here?) really struck me about the children as well as the parents re: apathy and school work. I wanted to know what was going on when my children were in school, I wanted to be involved, so I was a parent helper for six years, for each of my three. Yes, those years overlapped, and I was “there” a lot, but I have no regrets. I learned the system, met all kinds of teachers and admins, and was sad when those years came to an end. Now, my daughter is an IA and is experiencing what you describe.
Last year when she worked in a daycare-based, preschool setting, she tried to stop a fight between two boys and was knocked down by a child larger than her (my daughter is a tiny woman). The boy was 10 at the time and has a history of violent behavior. Nothing was done. The parents of the boys involved were not told the truth of the incident. The facility, of course, wanted their continual flow of funds, and even though the boy had been “kicked out” before, was allowed to stay. The manager as well as the owner did nothing. My daughter simply did not matter. That’s when she quit.
It is ever amazing to me how messed up our system is, the priorities about accountability and learning in school are just not there. As a parent who knows from watching and direct involvement for many years, kudos to you, and I encourage you to never give up. The system needs people like YOU.
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For school kids, so much of learning depends on the parents and on the whole complex of a kid’s home life, it’s ridiculous to blame teachers when they fail to learn. In Arizona our schools consistently rank send or third from the bottom… But then you take a long drive around our LA-sized county and realize about 2/3 of it consists of low-SES districts ranging from run-down to out-and-out third-world slum. Poverty speaks. In the classroom.
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congrats 🙂
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wow. I hope it worked. The kids and the test, I mean! And, I, too, have had y work travel (to China) without me. Oh well…
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