Being Mindful

The last two plus years have taught me one thing across the board…being mindful of one’s state of mind, understanding what you need to get through the difficult and enjoy what you can, being able to step back from bad stuff and scary stuff and stare it down…this is absolutely necessary to finding peace and joy in your life. Yesterday’s peace and joy came in a walk at the end of the day, new yellow flowers dotting the landscape, the dog snuffling through some dead thing (not so joyful for me), conquering that bad-ass hill I walk up on a regular basis, powering up it, even though I’d had a long day. I said I wasn’t going to work when I got home, but I had dual emails from child and parent, so I dealt with those at 9 PM because I knew today wouldn’t leave me the time to do so. I packed up care packages for my own kids and entered an art thing that I’d forgotten about and was due this week. Paid the property taxes.

And then I flailed a bit. How to continue to let the mind repair any damage done during the day? I’m honestly amused at some of the crazy that goes on among adults at my school. It’s like being in middle school again…well, maybe high school, because in middle school I hadn’t found myself yet. I was still pretty meek and quiet. By high school, it was ON. (Ask my parents. And my Physics teacher. Who was also my Calculus teacher…and kind of an ass.) I even stood in the living room with my teacup for about 5 minutes, staring around, debating the options. Kitten was following me around, waiting to see where I’d land so she could be in the same space. Calli too, damp dog from her post-walk swim. Where is Mommy gonna be? We wanna be with Mommy! Who needs roommates for adult conversation…I have furry babies.

I could cut out Wonder Under for the next quilt. I could trace another quilt. I could work on that drawing, get it to the next stage. I could work on one of the wool quilts I have going, which is pretty brainless. I could come into the office and clear stuff out, move the excess into the boychild’s room (shhh. don’t tell him.) for sorting and start that process. I could work on the two quilt tops that are in the office and have been in process for way too long. Which suited me best last night? Usually it’s no question…the project that is yelling the loudest (usually a deadline-based thing) wins. But last night, I couldn’t tell who was yelling loudest…because there are no deadlines at the moment. And I’m OK with that.

I ended up in the office with the two quilt tops. It seemed most efficient to try and finish those, at least the quilting part, because they will both need hand embroidery: one a lot and one a little. The orange one was already pinbasted, so I did the other one…

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I don’t even know how long this one has been around. A long time. It’s freehand cut. I haven’t done that for ages. This is the one I want to do a lot of embroidery on. We’ll see though. First I’ll quilt it. I don’t usually do a light background either. That’s a challenge.

Then I started on this one…

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This is from 2013 I think…the drawing is older than that. It’s strange.

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But simple enough. It needs a little embroidery. I’m still debating the quilting in the background.

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This piece has alternatively been called Fire Mountain and Fire Forest in my head for years. And that background…yes, I was experimenting with different-colored backgrounds for a while. I get into that dark-blue rut because it’s easy. For me at least. Followed by dark purple and turquoise. So quilting on these for a few days will be good. I’ll probably cut some Wonder Under too. And ease myself back into regulating schoolwork with school stress. As much as I can. It’s good that I have a few projects I can work on right now. They ease the tension, give my mind a place to restfully wander late at night, when I can’t sleep (because that’s been common the last week or so). Stay up late so you’re tired enough to fall directly to sleep. Unfortunately, my brain is still wandering after 1 AM these days. Must dial it back an hour or so, or I will start to look like my students. Or get cranky. Or both. Here’s hoping the mindfulness and the art will help with all of that.

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