Refill the Cup

I really hate my ironing board. I would like a new one, one that doesn’t have sharp metal feet that grab my toes. One that is stable and doesn’t threaten to fall over. That said, when I’ve tried to find ironing boards in the past, they’re even more tippy and unstable than this one…this one was my grandmother’s, I think. It’s ancient. I put a heavy board on top that I use for ironing quilts together, because I need a larger space. At the moment, I have to move it around a lot because I’ve been trying to clean up in here and it’s problematic…I can’t put fabric on one shelf where it used to be, because one of two cats keeps peeing on it. I’m pretty sure it’s the old lady, but it might be the teenaged boy…they regularly are vying over the space. Probably the old lady. I even had piled some towels up that I was using to cover the fabric bins there, and then she peed on those. So. Yeah. I’m having to store bins on the floor and this room is not very big anyway…with two desks, a table, three bookshelves, a computer, a sewing machine, and all my fabric (well, not really ALL my fabric…that’s funny), it’s just crowded. The ironing board is always open and I move it around for what/where I need to use it. And every time I search for a new one, I get sidetracked by options and reviews and can’t make a decision. Because there isn’t an ironing board store I can go to and look at them (OMG I am old), so I have to do it all online, and the thought of trying to return an ironing board makes me break out in hives. So there’s that. But we might be there.

So the stupid stuff, eh? Overwhelming. But I could focus on the big fat ugly bill or Alligator Alcatraz and why we think it’s OK to treat HUMANS that way or the campers missing in Texas after the floods (look! God took the white Christian girls! See, it’s not any better, is it? It doesn’t matter what the kids look like or where they come from…it’s not OK.). Sigh. Certainly didn’t do much celebrating yesterday. My country is broken. OK, it always was broken. Now it’s just more in your face about it. So I’m trying to live my tiny life in the middle of all that. Plus this week, the Man will hear about a job (yes please) and I have a biopsy (ugh) and the girlchild is coming to visit (yay) and I need to pack for my residency (yikes). It’s not the chillest week in the world. My response to that is to read more books. And try to clean and fix more things. With the help of the Ex, the sprinklers are now back up and running. I tried but there needed to be more things fixed than the one I did (it was a valve). The two sprinklers that really weren’t working were totally corroded inside (ah, hard water)…so replacing those (and blowing all the dirt through the system) helped immensely.

This was a big achievement. I’ve had this on my list for months. I replaced one thing and then nothing worked. Sigh. I tried to patch the gap on the deck too, but I couldn’t get the caulk to move. Might just be too old? Frustrating though. So I think I’m going to Home Depot later. Fun times. I ran some errands on Thursday (waited until rush hour like an idiot) and ran into a former student, a not-pleasant reminder of him. I had totally blocked him and his entitlement and his annoying parents (mom mostly) from my mind, and now I need to reblock him. It’s OK. He’s a kid. Even as an adult, I won’t need to deal with him…and maybe he’ll get a clue by then. He’s smart, just spoiled.

So artwise, I’ve been sort of efficient. I’ve made it to the ceramics studio more times than usual, which is good.

A bunch of stuff fell/broke (I think it gets bumped on the shelf) and I had to fix a lot, but I got the greens done. Went back yesterday and reattached and reglazed stuff that broke, but that damn hand broke off again.

I’m close though. Almost there. Honestly, it’s glazed except for the flagpole and reglazing all the broken stuff.

I just need to finish it and get it in the kiln. Like this week. Hopefully.

I pinbasted my Sue Spargo Folk Tails, which has been done since 2020? I think? Seriously.

Mostly I hadn’t done it yet because I wanted to finish the bird one first (the bigger one) before stashing a bunch of safety pins in something that would just sit in a pile for a while. It’s a challenge to quilt this…mostly because I need to go AROUND everything. Not hard, just a pain. So it’s next on my list to finish this summer. But before I do that, I’m trying to piece together the improv piece I did on Zoom with Irene Roderick…

It’s all these random shapes that need to fit together, and then I need to make it into a rectangle shape. So I worked on that yesterday. I have it all in three pieces at the moment, with a freaking Y seam (not the first). Almost there. This is so not my style, and I realized at Quilt National that all the Irene people’s quilts look similar, so I’m deciding how to make it mine. I’m trying to finish this so I can take the design board on my residency next week. Whatever gets it done, right? I could probably finish putting the top together today.

Then I cut out all the wool/cotton bits for the side borders of Homegrown (another Spargo…yeah, I enjoy making them), pinned them on, and am slowly stitching them all down. I won’t get this one done in 2025. Bet.

The embroidery will take forever and then I’ll put it in a pile for a year or two before deciding to quilt it. Let’s be real. It’s not about the finished product; it’s totally about the making.

In art quilt news, I’m still tracing Wonder Under…

The dirt was a lot of big pieces, and then I had a bunch of little pieces that fit in between all those big pieces.

I tried a bund of people and then started tracing gravestones. Right when those dumbasses passed a bill kicking a ton of real live people off Medicare. Including one I live with…yeah, it won’t take effect until after the November elections, and hopefully he’ll have a job by then, but there’s a lot of people who can’t work or can’t find work. So we aren’t taking care of people any more unless they’re so rich they don’t really need to worry about it.

Last night, I made it into the low 600s…of 1366.

Not even halfway. I was hoping to be done with tracing today, but I would have had to be way more focused than I have been for that to happen. So maybe that’s the other thing I’m doing today. I’m still only on the second yard of Wonder Under…lots of small pieces to drive me nuts later.

My little quilt made it to my SIL for her birthday.

I love the location.

I lost the dog in the ferns…he likes to pee in there.

Really, this is yet another part of the yard I need to control. Ha! This yard is beyond my ability. I’d need a gardener and even then…

I found these guys (screamed a little because a bunch were on my shirt) while trimming shit.

They become some kind of beetle. But for now, they are in the greenery trash can.

I saw this…and yes, I feel like I need that but also, no I’m not doing that.

I’m putting it here for when I’m really old and retired and maybe bored (will I ever be bored?). That dissociative state is looking nice.

Although honestly, making art helps with that. And it’s too hot for sweatpants, but the other night, I found myself tracing Wonder Under with shorts and a tank top on, but also fuzzy socks, because my feet were cold. Love old body. It’s so inconsistent.

This.

So frustrating. Incredibly.

Simba after three hours of fireworks on THURSDAY night (not even the 4th, y’all). He barked the entire time. And I was tracing stuff, so I wasn’t making him feel safe.

Last night, he was better…only a little. Mostly because the boychild was back. For how long? We never know. His sister is coming to visit, so if previous years are anything to go by, he’ll be sent to some fire this week.

This is amazing. This is Liberty Bleeds by Niki McQueen.

I wish I had enough wall space for her work (it’s available as posters to benefit the ACLU)…it reminds me of my own stuff, the cutting open part.

I think Nova is the big softie that both Luna and Bowie turn to for love and safety.

Luna is so paranoid. And it’s hot, so it’s funny when they curl up together, because I’m like, don’t fucking touch me, it’s hot. And yet there’s always a cat or a dog (or both) next to me.

This is always true.

So yeah. I think I already decided I’m piecing things and tracing things today. The Man has a show tonight downtown, so I’m probably riding the trolley down and then getting a ride back. Their regular lead singer has ‘quit’ (we hope not permanently), so they’re borrowing a singer from another band. Should be interesting. Luckily they are the opening band, so it’s not a midnight thing. I’m too old for that stuff? That’s a lie; I happily stay up past midnight doing art things. I just don’t like mornings. My goal for the week? Be chill. Stay chill. Make the things. Find the supplies for next week. So excited for next week. Meal planning now. And making sure I have materials. I don’t want to get up there and realize I need one chemical I left at home. Inevitably I will forget something though. Truth. 33 days until school. I can’t find a countdown timer that works with the iphone widget or whatever they’re calling it now. Frustrating. That and the ironing board problem are an issue for another day though. Right now, I need to eat, shower, and do some stuff that refills the cup. Or something. Finds the spoons.

It Should Be OK…

Sitting here waiting for health insurance chat to answer. So much wait time with health stuff. That’s not going to get better. And I’m glad to have insurance. Health stuff is stressful. Time-consuming. Expensive. Crucial. It’s so easy for some people to say, well get a job, then you’ll get healthcare…not always true, not always possible. My household includes someone who’s been trying to get a job with physical restrictions for over a year, and it’s not as easy as J.D. Vance and his compatriots think it is. People with disabilities who may need support at work; they just don’t get interviews, or they get one and then get ghosted. It’s stressful for all of us to see that and live with it. But hey, we’re not rich, so we don’t matter. We’re gonna die anyway. The politicians…sigh…I mean, at least Lisa Murkowski was honest about doing what’s best for Alaskans, but in doing so, fucked the rest of us. The rest of those who voted for that bill? What is wrong with them? Some complain and then vote for it anyway? And now the government is refusing to send all the education money that Congress allocated. As someone in a Title I school, where kids live in a variety of not-great situations, I’m worried; no that’s not a big enough word for what they’re doing to kids, to families who struggle, to anyone of color. I don’t get it. I’m scared by it. Worried is not a big enough word.

So in all that, I make art. And try to get control of my diabetes. And worry about the things growing in my boob. And worry about my cat…she’s old and not doing well, especially with the heat. Worry about my job. New boss. The damn sprinklers. How to paint the shed when one wall is right against a chainlink fence. Obviously need to make more art, exercise more.

Finished numbering.

Did you guess? I guessed 1500 based on where I was and how much was left. I was wrong…it’s 1366…

Give or take a few, because I always miss something or double number something. Not a ton, but a lot. A goodly amount. I could have filled the sky in and got more, but I kind of didn’t want to. So I didn’t.

Last night, I started tracing…

I’ll be there for a while. Like 12 more hours probably. Which is fine. I’d like to get myself to a place where I’m tracing for more than an hour a day, but so far, there’s been too much other stuff to do. I spent the last two days planning with my science partner, about 8 hours total. It looked a lot like this…

Well, and there was other stuff, but this is the only picture I took, and I took it because I realized when I moved all the files, I wouldn’t be able to find them in all the other files because most of them had illogical names. I can delete this picture now. THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE IT WILL EXIST.

Anyway, I’d like to say that my 8 hours (it was more than that; I did some at home too) of unpaid work was all I needed to do for school this summer, but that’s not true. We’re meeting again in August. We did well, but my late August/September self will be happier if I do a bit more specific shit. But not today. Today, I need to go to the ceramics studio and underglaze. I know I broke something on Friday. I felt it. Like every fucking time, I’m breaking shit. Sigh. And there will probably be a bunch of people there, but I couldn’t handle going the last two afternoons…I was so braindead after working, so I didn’t go. Oops. Oh well.

That political shit again.

And the amount they want to spend on ICE? Just terrorizing people who are actually trying to be legal and paying taxes and all that shit? Who aren’t committing crimes? So fucked up.

Attempting to ignore the political crap is impossible. I can hide in art, but my art is also political, so it’s not always hiding in a non-stressful way. Ah well. I can try to eat better and make art and clean the house and take care of the cat and paint the shed. I mean, that might be all I really can do at the moment. And I know that should be OK, but it’s not. Not for the planet or the country. OK. Going to ceramics…soon. Then I’ll just do what I can.

It Seems Like Enough…

I know, I know, I’m writing super late. I worked this morning. And afternoon. And I didn’t want to get up super early, so I got the photos resized for the post and that was it. And then I did more work when I got home. So here I am, remembering I was supposed to write today. Which pretty much sums up Summer Break for a teacher. Yes, I did teacher stuff today. My co-teacher and I usually try to plan during the summer, just to get a handle on things we want to change for next year. Sometimes we get paid, but we aren’t this year. I think. Who knows? New principal. No one has a clue what’s going on. We’re backwards planning to make sure we have time to teach natural selection and evolution, the last unit, and then revising the first two units…three units. Well, we’re not gonna get all that done in two 4-hour sessions, for sure. But we’ll have a pretty good start.

So the weekend…I worked on the drawing…finishing up the bottom part on Friday night.

Mostly anyway. Then Saturday evening, I put some planets in the sky…

Bowie was absolutely no help.

Last night, I finished up some stuff around the planets and called it done, although I may change my mind about that tonight.

And then I started numbering, but I didn’t finish.

I knew I had to get up in the morning, so staying up until 2 AM writing numbers would be a bad plan, right? Don’t ask Summer Brain…they’re like all in with Art Brain and don’t give a shit that I can’t sleep in. So I was going to finish numbering this afternoon and totally that hasn’t happened. But maybe after I finish this.

I also finished the binding and sleeves on this during my local SAQA Zoom meeting…

Shitty picture, I know. Ah well. Need a place to hang it up now.

On Saturday, I also finished a present for my SIL…in October or so last year, to test the new Wonder Under, I made a small flying heart. She saw in online and asked for it for Christmas, but like finished, you know. A thing. So I said yes and then promptly lost it. I didn’t really lose it. I hung it up in my studio/office and then hung a drawing up in front of it, so I couldn’t see it and forgot it was there. For like three months. I found it in January when I took the drawing down…not right away though…it took me a few weeks before I saw it. Then I figured, oh, I’ll give it to her for her July birthday, so instead of making something out of it like right then (like a sane person), I procrastinated until Saturday and then finished it.

I mailed it today. It’ll be late. Ah well.

Saturday was also the wedding of a coworker to one of my former students. Weird, huh? Here’s all the teachers…

The bride is younger than my daughter. I’m laughing because Stace is grabbing my ass. She’s smirking in the back. We did not all plan to wear blue and green. Seriously.

And here’s one of my former 7th graders, now a nice young man who cried during the ceremony, making him one of my favorite guys forever.

Seriously…raise your boys to be able to cry at emotional events.

I did some ceramics stuff on Friday…more painting.

I keep breaking things off dammit. So I’m trying to get it all underglazed before more breaks. Not sure when I’m going in again. Tomorrow? Hopefully…if I’m not as braindead as I was today after lesson planning for four hours.

That’s too true.

I love this.

There’s so much negative shit out there right now. I love the little bits of fuck off I see happening. Because I just got my measles booster because of that idiot.

OK, normally this is where I’d say what I’m doing for the rest of the day, but it’s 6 PM and I just fed the dog. I might go do some yardwork because it’s cooled off a little. I did some digging (against the gophers) yesterday. Need more gravel to fix what they did. Sigh. Should probably water first. I’ll be numbering shit tonight and then hopefully starting to trace. It would be nice if I was done with tracing and trimming by Monday, and then ironed to fabric by the time I leave for my residency. Taking stuff to trim is always a good thing. I can’t think beyond that. I want to finish my book? Probably not happening tonight. But soon. Oh I entered a residency for next summer…hopeful?! I think that’s it. It seems like enough, doesn’t it?

A Lot of Pieces

Ooof. Well I am starting to function. Maybe. I was at ceramics yesterday and it was busy and I had forgotten my headphones, so I couldn’t completely dissociate, plus whenever there are people there, they always want to talk about my piece, which is taking FOREVER. I’m getting closer to done with the upper torso piece though. Lots of underglazing, because everything has to be painted three times for good coverage. It takes forever. And I’m not that great a painter, so I have to clean up a lot of the fussy little stuff.

Yesterday, I started with all the things that I thought would be white, moved into gray, then blue, then had to touch up red because of all that. Today, I think I’ll finish those two guys on the right arm and maybe move onto green? We’ll see.

And I broke the hand off again, then two fingers. It’s just very fragile at the moment.

I’ve been drawing every night, trying to get this thing to where I want it. Which I don’t know where that is, so that’s part of the problem. I’ve been penciling stuff in most of the time, because of overlaps and not being sure how things will fit together.

That flag has some tiny pieces in it. There’s some inking or embroidery that’s going to need to happen.

Definitely put the ICE agents in a swamp of their own making. Added some stuff up above.

The sky and the dirt are my current hold ups.

Although less dirt now.

Getting closer. So many pieces though. It wouldn’t be a summer quilt if it didn’t have a lot of pieces.

I’m still cleaning the office, sorting through stuff, trying to finish things. I’m trying to get all the flowers appliqued onto the outer borders…

Not even halfway. But closer than I was. It’s just time-consuming, but not in a bad way. I pretty much only work on it when I’m on a Zoom call or when I’m done with dinner and watching one show with the Man. Hence the slow. I am close to needing to trace and cut out the two side borders worth of flowers. That’s progress.

Bowie keeps coming in the office to harass the old lady, but also to sit in the window.

He’s alternately a sweetheart and a teenaged terror.

There is a constant fight for the space on my left thigh…

It’s popular. Nova left (fear!) and Simba took over.

OK. Today is Friday. I will be back at ceramics this afternoon. I finally found the busy time schedule (there’s times when the lower cost level of member can come in…and it’s more busy because of that), so I’ll be avoiding those days/times if I can. I’m hoping to get this glazing done in the next week so I can get it fired. I might need to build it a base though, and then that would have to dry too. Hmmm. Should have asked for more clay yesterday. Oh well. I’m also applying for a real cohort-based residency for next summer. I was a little wiffly waffly about it until I watched the video of their application process and heard more about the space and the insights from the people who have gone…and now I really want to go, but it’s complicated. It’s not close and the timing is hard with school, which is always the issue. But I’m applying today. I am. So that means writing well-thought-out answers to questions. Ha! Maybe shouldn’t do that? Sigh. I entered a show yesterday and messed up the file names, so I have an email in for that. Sigh. Stupid. Didn’t read the fine print. Ah well, it’s a pretty easy fix, so there’s that. And the boychild is home…didn’t get sent to a big fire somewhere…yet. I’m sure it’s coming. Let Simba appreciate him for a few days more. It’s all good.

Roll Into the Hole…

I really didn’t want to wake up this morning. It’s silly, because there’s no NOT waking up. There’s animals (one is barking his head off right now for no reason…OK, it’s probably something, but really…wait, that was his happy yip so the Man must be back from the dentist), there’s neighbors, there’s neighborhood noise (damn neighbor with his saw…you’d think he’d sawed all the things, but no…there are more things to saw). Really, I should go to bed at a regular time and get up at dawn and work then. Except that’s not how my brain works, especially for the first week or two after I get out of school (it hasn’t even been a WEEK)…I’m a night owl through and through. This morning shit is not fun (yes, I’m aware it’s barely morning at this point…I’ve been up for hours). I didn’t want to wake up because I started cleaning the office/studio yesterday and it’s in that stage when it looks like it will never be done and you will never find a home for all the things you’ve unearthed. I did, however, find the book I’ve been searching for since Thursday (it wasn’t in here, by the way…it was in the girlchild’s room, of course), but I have not found the frames I feel like I have somewhere. Maybe I don’t. Maybe I bought a set of 4 and will need to buy another set? Sigh.

So yes, I am still in the braindead flailing part of Summer Break, where I stare at AI-generated videos of cats diving into swimming pools and wonder why people like war so much. Like if we’re really gonna worry about nuclear capability and bomb people over it, why are we picking on the bottom rung of the ladder…

This is from a video comparing nuclear stashes, and Iran isn’t even on the list. Now, it would be stupid as hell to bomb Russia…and I don’t want to bomb anyone, but seriously, how lame is it to go after a country that was under control until the current president backed out of a deal that was keeping them under control. Idiots. Absolute idiots. But if we’re looking at this, we’re not looking at the protests and ICE and breaking laws left and right and stupid ugly bills, are we.

It’s a lot.

So I had started my next quilt drawing and began inking on Friday night…

You can’t quite see it, but in pencil, on the left, there’s a hand stopping a missile. I inked that Saturday night, after the bombs dropped on Iran.

Added an American flag to it, because it’s ours. The Statue of Liberty was already penciled in. Last night, I inked the ICE swamp…

Because that’s what it is…a swamp of people wearing masks and maybe being legal sometimes? But mostly racial profiling and who knows if some of the people out there are actually ICE or not? They apparently don’t have to tell us. Need to add some swamp trees. Decide what’s happening under the arm underneath them. Oh yeah, added a bomb and an explosion. This drawing is evolving with the current situation. Not sure where I’m going next. Into space? Seems reasonable.

I did some clay glazing on Friday. Very peaceful.

I did the red.

And some flesh.

I keep breaking the left hand off. Frustrating. It’s a level issue…it’s lower than the rest of it. I might need to make a base for firing. Hoping to be back today or tomorrow. We’ll see.

Saturday was the opening of In the Land of… at the downtown library. It’s on the first floor.

It’s super hard to photograph things in glass cases. Here’s the front of mine with part of Jennifer Spencer’s piece…

And here’s the back…

There will hopefully be a video of me talking about the piece and maybe a video of the whole show. I’ll post if I see them.

I’ve also been trying to applique all the flowers on the borders of the Homegrown quilt…

It’s time consuming. But I’m almost done with the top and bottom ones, so then I can do the side flowers. Until then…

Plus doing a lot of escapist cleaning and reading to try to manage my brain. I have a biopsy set up in 2 1/2 weeks. There were two things they found in the MRI that didn’t show up in a mammogram. Better safe than sorry, but it did ramp my anxiety up. Also, the last biopsy wound hurt for a good 6 months. So it’s fun when they say oh no, it doesn’t hurt. Such bullshit. Then last time, when I called after three weeks, they admitted, oh yeah, it might hurt for a while. But it isn’t the pain I worry about, of course.

OK, today. Finish cleaning this disaster of a room. Getting my hair cut (it’s way too long). Trying to find a dress for a wedding Saturday. I had one ordered, but it was too small in the boobage, and I don’t think the replacement will get here in time. Ugh. I hate shopping for clothes. Oh well. Whatever. Then do some drawing, maybe finally get the binding on that other wool quilt, pack up two quilts for delivery for another show coming up in San Ysidro area. Yardwork of course. Try not to roll into the hole of nuclear bombs and children dying and people being deported who came here and followed the rules.

Ready or Not

Well there’s nothing like the shitty Sunday sleep that comes after two weeks off of work. I’ve got a few thousand things to do rattling around in my head for today, and sleep was not my friend last night. I mean, sleep is never really my friend, but sometimes it comes along for the ride. There are 41 days of school left. It feels doable until you consider the details. Grades are due next Tuesday. I was really good and didn’t grade until last Friday. I didn’t finish, but that’s OK. This is a progress report so I don’t have to be done. The texts are rolling in about how we have new projectors, but they’re not set up and our rooms are messed up. Fun times. School starts in less than 90 minutes and now we have to set up beforehand. Ah well. I’m not rushing to get there. I’m boggled the district doesn’t send an email out about having to set shit back up and how. I know they assume we all come in over break, but I stayed away and it was a good thing. I needed a serious reset.

I forgot to post on Friday…it was a busy day. I had to pick up art in the morning, long drive, then doctor appointment, then I graded all afternoon and did some yardwork, then we went to see Regency Girls at the Old Globe.

It was fun, a good women’s-rights-friendly musical. So no art happened on Friday though. Saturday, I made it to ceramics. I was supposed to load the base of this piece into the kiln, but it was too warm. I’m going back tomorrow. I did add some bullets and money to the upper torso…

I had to fix the flag and some fingers first.

Sculpting is definitely a skill that needs developing.

This thing is a little crazy at the moment.

I also worked on the new quilt, after delivering the last one to the photographer and picking up the one before it. This is Portrait of One Self.

She’s big. She took four months to finish. Crazy really. Thought I’d hit a deadline; didn’t even come close. Ah well.

Started ironing with the Statue of Liberty…

Second Statue of Liberty in one of my pieces.

Yesterday, I washed all the embroideries, then realized I’d missed a bit. I’ll fix that tonight hopefully. Then I started ironing page 2…or is it page 1? Because the statue is the cover page.

Easier for me to think of it as four pages. I didn’t finish. This one is more complicated. So hopefully by the end of the week, all the page pieces will be ironed to fabric and I can start trimming. There’s a super tight deadline on these guys.

This is a thing.

Real people helping real people. Seriously, if you think she’s a caricature, you should listen to Dolly Parton’s America, the podcast. She’s not who you think she is. And she’s better than those dingbats who went to space.

Simba agrees.

Wishful viewing of the bunnies in the front yard.

OK. School. Apparently need to put my room back together before kids get there. Nothing is set up, I think. Or did I do it before I left? I don’t think I did, because they were gonna do our floors. Deep breath. It’s fine. Today’s teaching is easy. Then a 2-hour staff meeting (ugh). Then errands, dinner, art. The Man is having dental surgery today and is on liquids and soft food for about a week…so my dinners are my own problem. Pros and cons to that. I’m expecting some exhaustion this week. Going back to school always does that, more so as I get older. But also, I’m reading two books, making some art, dealing with yard stuff. Nothing new. Grades. Damn. Grades already. OK. Well, that’s happening whether I’m ready for it or not.

In Space…

Up early again. Legit reason today. Emergency kid meeting. I’ll volunteer for those, if it’s my student. Not a fan of getting up early if I don’t have to. That was yesterday. Lack of communication. There’s a lot of that. Yesterday was also a pre-fight…apparently I walked right into the middle of it without knowing who was about to fight. I still don’t know…I told the APs to go check the cameras. Hint to kidlets: don’t try to start a fight right in front of the damn cameras. Thank goodness we have them and they work. Thank goodness one of the APs answers when I call.

Today will be fine. Yesterday I worked with this one kid who fell off a second-story roof when he was 7 and was in a coma and shockingly now at 13 has learning issues. We’re trying to get him help. Dad says his brain is weak, but it’s not…it’s traumatized. And that might be the theme for my whole school sometimes. I saw him sitting yesterday, trying to do the independent practice, and just shivering at the table, so I sat with him and talked him through it…which meant the rest of the class kinda went to hell. Sigh. They’ll be better today. Or else? I can’t solve all these kids’ problems, but I sometimes can help. I have no help in that class and he’s not actually on an IEP to get help (YET)…I wish I could move some of these kids around so they were in a more supportive space without all the official paperwork. Sometimes we can…

ANYWAY. In amazeballs news, I’m still not done with the bugs. I painted more canvases on Wednesday night…after I sewed these two, there were two that needed touching up…

The wrist brace is a thumb thing…from too much tech…mouse plus holding phone and ipad plus IDK what. The embroidery doesn’t seem to bug it…I sewed these down with the brace on.

Last night, I did one with the brace on and two without.

And then repainted one that didn’t seem to be the right color. So there’s one left. That’s tonight, plus making labels for them. Then I’m delivering some to the Visions Museum of Textile Art, and IDK what with the rest. Etsy? Maybe.

The opening of We Got the Power is tonight…I finally found the invites everyone was posting…

I still haven’t seen it in the gallery…they’ve been posting pictures but not of the whole thing.

I’m just glad it made it there.

So I’m about to start something new! And big. This little stuff drives me nuts. The Man was trying to figure out how many bugs I’d have to make a week to make up for my salary…and it’s not how many I’d have to MAKE…I’d have to sell like 300 of them a week. And that’s so not happening. Every time I make a little batch of quilts like this (I’ve done birds and cats before), I realize about halfway through that I don’t like doing it. I like to make big things. I like to make things that matter. It’s not that they aren’t cute or cool (they are cute…for bugs)…it’s just not why I make art. And when I retire from teaching, I don’t want to spend more time doing that…making little things that might sell but take up all the time. I want to experiment, explore, make different things, like I’m trying to do with the clay. AND make the big beautiful quilts I really enjoy making. All that.

Anyway.

It’s gonna be a while. And I don’t like chocolate.

Today. Today I will finish the last bug. I will watch that kid I helped yesterday completely fail the quiz because no matter how much I tried to help him, his brain doesn’t get it, and that’s not his fault. And I hope we can get him more help. Same with the emergency meeting this morning. I just want them to get help, and I can’t always do that for them. Which sucks. I’m also going to ceramics (hopefully the hand will play along and be OK with that). And I’m going to read my book, maybe finish it. And label the bugs. And finish designing the academic assignment in space. The assignment is set in space…I don’t have to be in space (unfortunately) to do it. That might be fun too. It is Friday. That’s a thing.

Find Some Zen…

Hey yo. It’s Friday. Before grades are due. So I’m going to roll into grading for 6 hours straight I think, because I can’t get caught up. Ah well. Hopefully I will get better at it throughout the year, because hey, it’s only been like 21 years of it. 22? Something like that. I spent an hour last night writing a series of paragraphs explaining the piece I made for the We Got the Power exhibit that will be in Miami October through December. I had just picked it up from the photographer’s and the due date is Monday…so I made myself do it. I started it once before but then the computer deleted the halfway-done Google form (just like it does to my students), so I had to start over. Ugh.

Here’s the piece that has no name…

It does have a name, actually. It was from the movie Chiraq and I wrote it on a post-it note that I think the ex’s dog ate. Or she ate most of it and it ended up in the recycling and I forgot that that was the only place I had written it down. So I will have to watch the movie again? Or something.

This piece is not huge at 12×24″.

But it does have almost 400 pieces. I drew an Earth Mother trying to protect the women and children from the violence of war (and men). The exhibit is in response to the play Lysistrata, remade in the movie Chiraq (sort of), where a child is killed and women object to the violence of war (gang war in the movie). Their response is to withhold sexual favors from the men until they agree to stop fighting (shooting). And it works! The original play was written by a man, as much as we know.

That man is holding a video game controller. I included Hamas, Israel, Palestine, Russia, the Ukraine, and the US as participants in current wars.

Me? I’m all about how to protect the children…make the world safe for them.

And shooting things up and fighting over territory is never going to do that. It’s a tough one, though. Ukraine gets our hearts because of the way Russia just came in and started to take, but the Gaza violence is so much more complicated. There’s no easy solutions even if we just think of the kids because people have all these ideas of what their kids need (a homeland?). Land rights. Sigh. Peaceful living together. Double sigh. So yeah.

This piece has sold…for when it comes back from the show. So that’s cool.

The two little quilts I’m working on, someone asked, because I called them ‘baby quilts’, are they FOR babies? Um no. They’re just really tiny. I finished the Wonder Under trimming and took two days to iron them to fabric…this is the smaller one.

This one took two nights…

Only because I did the other one first. And I’m running out of time each night.

But I finished last night. Damn that bird is gonna be bright. I need to figure out how to drill through the glaze that dripped into the holes I was going to use to hang these in the clay pieces…diamond bit, for sure. There’s always a risk the clay will break, which would suck. But hoping to cut things out tonight after grading for a million hours. Ugh.

I woke up in the middle of the night to the dog barking, but not in bed with me. I was really confused because there was a furry body next to me, but it was Luna, not Simba. He was brought back by the Man. But he was barky all night, so I kind of feel like a semi rammed through me.

This was after Back-to-School Night on Wednesday…

A Bowie/Nova sandwich. Sweet babies.

I found this nest in the yard the other night…fell out of the tree…

It’s always fascinating to see what they make the nests out of. There’s definitely some human materials in there. I need to go back to throwing thread snips out into the yard for them.

Followed this big truck to work yesterday…

Funny.

OK. I’m teaching balanced/unbalanced forces today. I’m hoping to grade homework from last week at the same time. I have slides to grade…got through one class last night and finally got into a rhythm. So hopefully will finish those tonight? Or tomorrow…let’s be realistic. I’m going to ceramics after school and it’s my turn to cook dinner. Plus it’s Friday and I’m already exhausted. Does not bode well for lots of grading tonight. My team is going through some drama at work…hopefully that will chill out and everyone will find some zen over the weekend. I am hoping to get these two little quilts cut out and ironed together this weekend, maybe even stitched down? That would be nice. And buy a drill bit. Sometime. Not sure when. Oh yeah, pack up a quilt for Quilt Visions and deliver it…that opening is coming up. I’ll be there. Come see it (mid-October). Otherwise, we’re sliding into October, one of my favorite weather months (but schoolwise, usually a long month…but we have two 3-day weekends this year…maybe that will help). It’s certainly been delightfully cloudy and cool all week. That won’t continue much longer, but I’m appreciating it while it does. OK. Gotta go to school for real now…

The Power

Hokay. Wednesday. I’m a little tired, I must say. Not sure why. Rejiggering my lesson plan for today, I think. Some catchup, some kids finishing stuff up, instead of starting the next thing. I may do a piece of the next thing, but I have two classes that need to finish yesterday’s thing still. It’s OK. It’s fast. But I hate having classes on different things. It’s just easier when they’re all in the same range of stuff. It’s Back-to-School Night tonight…set for 5 PM, which makes more sense for parents, but it means I have 90 minutes after school where I’m just there. I have grading to do and will do it, so I don’t have to bring it home (the first batch of progress reports are due next week, which seems really early). I have a lot of work to get through. I really just want to finish my book though. And finish another one by Monday for book club. I had to finally buy that one, because it was still 5 weeks out at the library.

Artmaking is going slowly. I am not giving myself enough time because of grading, unfortunately. It sucks. I hate it. I guess I lose Sunday afternoons? I don’t know any other way to do this. I feel like I lose half the Saturdays too. UGH. So I traced the two little pieces onto Wonder Under, which took almost no time at all…

And last night, I cut them out…

Superfast. Hopefully I’ll have the energy tonight to iron them to fabric. I’m not holding out much hope, but some.

Monday, I worked on glazing the mug still…

Anybody who’s thinking, oh, Nida will make a bunch of these and sell them…HA! My god, they take so long. Which is fine. I’ve always been more about the process than having a product to sell…obviously.

This already has 10 hours into it.

Consider time, materials, firing fees…

Completely unaffordable. Sorry y’all. This is not going to be a second (third? fourth?) income generator for me. And I’m OK with that.

Enjoy the video in the round.

That long thin quilt is going to this show…

In Miami, Florida. As soon as it’s back from the photographer. It still needs a name, but I think I had one somewhere. I just need to figure out where.

OK. School. Ugh. Redo plan for the day. Get the kids working independently for at least half of class time. Grade things. Prep for next week. Try to figure out how to efficiently grade the thing the other teacher fucked up. Sigh. Spend more of my prep time not prepping. Yesterday started badly with a last-minute switch of two resource kids who need support into a class with no support, literally 2 minutes before they were supposed to show up to my class. They needed seats, they needed to be added to my Google Classroom, they needed to be told not to delete themselves out of the other classroom until I graded things. FUCK. And no support? So that put me over 20% resource kids in that class, so after my complaints and reminders of how shit should work, I have support in there today. But the long string of emails leading up to that last one? I could have been included. So I would’ve known. But no. Not important. So my mindset during prep was to put on loud music with lots of swear words and grade all the makeup work so it was off my plate. Pro? That last bit.

Anyway. Today will be better. I command it. And I don’t have to try to cook after pilates, like last night, cooking after 7:30 PM. Tonight the Man cooks and I collapse. With my book, hopefully.

They All Change…

OK. So this week has gone from 109 degrees to a delightful 77 or so. The Man replaced the ceiling fan. School has been…interesting. It’s fine. Lots of chaos. Like give us a bunch of kids and have us get to know them and then keep adding new ones and taking away some of them as all their school attendances adjust, and then about 4 weeks in, upend the whole mess and create a new section, which unbalances every single classload in that grade level, and then, probably, y’all will do it again with the Newcomer kids who are coming into general education classes because they have graduated out of that program…but wait another two weeks before you do that, so we have chaos all over again.

Every year. So you figure your classes out and how they work and then they all change. And you’ve done rules and expectations and how things work in this class and then it all changes again. It’s frustrating. It makes the first 6 weeks difficult. But do grades! And independent study contracts! And do them now and fast. Because the kids won’t actually do the work, and they’ll lie about it, because they’re kids. Fun times.

I have not figured out the balance yet.

That said, I finished the little quilt, which will get photographed and get a name. I had it on a post-it note somewhere, and probably a cat ate it. Or a dog. We have both.

I just had a tiny binding and tiny sleeves to sew on.

Simba is entirely unhelpful. So were Nova and Bowie, who tried to climb either on the quilt or on my lap or both last night.

Until Simba won the position.

Cute little thing. About war. So many not so cute. And possibly already maybe sold? I don’t have a price yet and I can’t remember if it has to be for sale for the show I’m sending it to (I don’t think so…I think that’s the other show I shipped to recently). So photographer tomorrow, just in time.

What’s next? A giant drawing of my own choice plus finishing up quilting on two other quilts, one for me, one for a friend, and then some clay stuff that needs fabric. Coolio.

I got to stitch with friends last night…this is the second flower of five…

And no, I’m still not done with it. It takes forever. It’s cool when it’s done. And I like the process. But forever.

Bowie in low-energy mode.

Unlike at 6 AM this morning. Woke up everyone except the Man.

OK. Gotta go to school. It’s Friday the 13th. Can’t be worse than last Friday with its multitude of fights? Right? It probably can. But it’s cooler, so maybe it won’t be. Clay this afternoon. Shit ton of grading to do. Art thing tonight. The Man has a show tomorrow night at the Music Box (sort of; it’s on the street outside). I need a ride to the trolley station in the afternoon, because I’m not trying to park down there. I am tired. I want to read my book. Instead, I will go teach football with regard to Newton’s Laws. Or Newton’s Laws with regard to football? Not sure. One of those.