Saving the World from Nothing*…

I used to listen to music every morning, and whatever song I was listening to at the end of writing this blog, I’d go find some part of the lyrics that spoke to me and that would be the blog title. Certainly probably better than most of the blog titles I come up with now. Don’t get me wrong; I love writing the blog. I certainly do it more for me than you, and my future self appreciates me documenting shit so I remember what I did last year or the year before, or how January going back to school really felt (it’s always hard; I’m always tired). For documenting the art process, it’s also good for me to remember where I was at on a certain piece. I’m not sure when I stopped listening to the music…I have a guess, but it’s been a while, and maybe I should bring it back…if just for the title inspiration.

So I’ve now survived one work day with kids and one without. Both were fine. Although the one boy who told me I should smile more probably wasn’t ready for my impassioned sexism speech. I’m OK with that. I started with a lab, which seemed to shock the kids…not sure why. I also have been trying to do more of what we did with 7th grade, when I had a partner to plan and we tweaked things for years to make them easier on us and more varied for the kids. I’m hoping I can keep it up. It takes a chunk of creativity on my part, and I don’t always have the extra energy for that for the day job AND art. Although yesterday’s prep period was a crazy headgame of trying to get 7th-grade teachers all their stuff (I found the damn paint swatches, hidden under another lab in a weird tube of periodic tables we never use and my co-teacher on leave says I should toss. Fuck. I will do that when I get to school today. Really. I will. If no other emergencies pop up.). I was watching a video yesterday of a teacher at our school who posts on TikTok etc, and she’s showing her typed plan of how to use her before- and after-school time and her PLAN (ha! Really? She has a plan period she can actually USE? WTF) so she’s uber efficient with getting things done, and I almost cried. I mean, I guess having 7th- and 8th-grade meet on the same day each week is part of that, but it doesn’t leave much time with all the other crap I need to do. Not everything fits into a cute TikTok video I guess. She’s selling her rainbow template on TeacherPayTeachers, so all the more power to her.

So artwise, I’m really pushing the ironing. I have been coming home and trying to start the ironing before dinner time so I can do more than an hour a night. So I managed almost 2 hours both nights, which is good…I’m thinking I might be able to finish tonight. Maybe.

Monday night, I got up into the torso and finished all the things that were green, which is all the fleshy bits…

Here’s all the skin in the upper torso laid out…

And here’s all the things that are attached to or on her flesh that AREN’T green, like her heart etc.

The piles are logical. I start out with everything in number order, in piles of 10, but when I’m pulling the flesh out and piling it on the fabric, I’m sorting the others into what they are, so I can just pick up one pile and iron it all at the same time.

Here’s a video of the setup…I stand between the table and the ironing board and turn from one to the other…one of the benefits of a room that is relatively small, I guess.

Then last night, I started in on all those little piles…

I made a rainbow snake. I was looking at the drawing and thinking, well, I often make green snakes, but the main figure is already green, so that won’t work. And any snake with black in it won’t show up against the really dark background, and brown was just out…the legs are all brown. So rainbow it was. Rainbows make my brain happy. I also realized there is very little pink in this quilt. Usually the figures run in the pink to brown range, but this one is reminiscent of the Supreme Court goddess, all earth colors, because I wanted to explore that a little more. Maybe the Supreme Court quilt had way too many normal-colored people, because I’m rolling in purple and earth stuff, maybe a rainbow person is next. Although the next one is a collaboration, so who knows what that will look like.

Meanwhile, I guess I really do need that template from that teacher (not)…because I spent 45 minutes after school processing videos and pictures of the lab we did for all the absent kids (lenses and refraction). And that was NOT on my to-do list until I realized it needed to be. The slides exist now, so future self will be happy, but fuck me, this year is full of this crap.

I came home and meant to (a) go to the gym (too exhausted after trying to find my insulin at any pharmacy, and getting dog food) and/or (b) read my book, but I opened my computer and processed planning shit for about an hour before reading one chapter of my book, then getting my exhausted ass off the couch and ironing before dinner, which luckily I didn’t have to cook.

Today? Today the kids are going to do an independent assignment so I can do some planning. I’ll roll my chair around with my computer and check in at tables while working for a while at each table. Tomorrow too. Tonight is pilates and IRONING. I do have to cook tonight, but it’s easy. So IRONING. Finishing. Hopefully. Also hopefully finding insulin.

*Long Way Down, Robert DeLong

Never Gonna Dance Again

Woke up to Careless Whisper by Wham!. Not sure what to think about that, on the first day back to work in 2024. Can’t get it out of my damn head though. So there’s that. Hey you know there’s 74 days until Spring Break! You know the worst part about coming back is when you don’t feel rested and refreshed, and everybody is all asking you if you feel rested and refreshed and please share one relaxing thing you did over break, and I’m like I READ 78 BOOKS BECKY precisely because that was my escape from not feeling rested and refreshed. Also I’m just a cranky old lady sometimes, and today is one of those times. Not enough sleep. Not enough shit got done. As always.

Speaking of not enough time, I really am trying to up the ante with this quilt, getting it done in an insanely small amount of time. How? Grabbing minutes when I’d normally do something else. I had 45 minutes yesterday afternoon before driving out to an art meeting, so I ironed instead of lesson planning. I had 30 minutes waiting for the Man to get dinner ready…same deal. I got the room cleaned Saturday in the hour before going to see his show, and when he sent me an updated start time (later), I sat down and got half a really complicated exhibition entry done. It’s good, but it feels like I can’t ever just sit down and relax. Hence my post-break feeling of no, not rested, not relaxed. My fault, but semi-necessary at the moment. I’m not letting another year of school fuck up my ability to make art. I’m gonna figure it out.

So I had everything laid out and ready to go on Saturday…wait. Stop. I need to be chronological about all this.

First of all, on Friday, I ran a million errands. I even wrote the blog late because of it. I spent about an hour staring at this asshole…

Which is the slow annoying one, because our faster one has been broken down most of the fucking school year, so we’re stuck sharing this with the front office, who keeps telling us we’re not allowed to use it. Uh huh.

Fast forward to Friday night (I did other stuff, very little of it art related)…I drew at dinner.

I was in a pretty positive mindframe at that point. Except she is holding her head. Legit position. Then we went out to see a friend’s band play…

Sonic Moonshine…ironically, we’d be back here on Saturday night for the Man’s band, Radio Thieves. But some drinking and dancing happened, probably too much of both.

Saturday dawned early, as it always does. I had a quilt guild meeting, so I worked a little on her face.

Slow stitching forever! Might finish in 2030.

Then came home and focused on cleaning up the art space, putting fabric away, even cleaned the floor because there was something on it that made it very slippery in one area (don’t wanna know what) and I was afraid I’d fall and break something. Like my leg. That would make life fun right now, right? Oh wait! Before I cleaned up in there, I had to deal with this. So we have this older friend who isn’t a quilter, but she had these blocks she cross stitched, and then I sandwiched them for her and she quilted them (the white threads are all my basting threads)…

And then I couldn’t deal with the sashing on a quilt-as-you-go, so we mailed it to a friend who used to live down here (she’s retired) and she put it together, mailed it back to me, and then I took it BACK to our friend and she hand-stitched all the sashing sides down (I taught her ladder stitch…she’s really NOT a sewer). Then it came back to me and I put the borders on and shoved some batting in there on Friday and Saturday, and then I removed all that fucking basting thread I put in last summer or whenever it was (2022? this has been going on for a while).

See pile of threads in the top right? So that happened before and after the quilt guild meeting. I needed this to get off the ironing board so I could use it for ironing.

Then I quilted one of the white squares on Saturday…

And one on Sunday. Yes, I could just do it all in one go, but it would take a few hours and then I would feel like I got nothing of my OWN done, and I cannot abide that at the moment. Nope. So my goal is 1-2 white squares a day and then the damn sashing and borders. I’ll get there. It just won’t be quick.

Then on Saturday, I laid out the first 100 pieces (after cleaning the whole room, floor, etc).

It’s not a big quilt.

Then I went to see the Man’s band play (more dancing, a little drinking, learned a lesson there I guess).

Home again. Spent Sunday getting ready for school, but also carving out time for ironing. I’m in the mid-100s, I think…something like that.

I got almost 3 hours in yesterday. Good times. You’d think I’d have more ironed, but there were a lot of little things going on and they took some thinking.

I also went to an art meeting and sewed down (during dinner) 9 of the 48 circles I need to stitch down for my mom’s thing.

See, I AM doing all the things. I’m just cranky about most of it. Except the ironing for my quilt. That is joyous and not cranky at all.

I’m sure everyone has seen some cool art or fabric in a TV show and screen shot it…this is the wall art from an episode of Suits.

Fascinating. I had some stuff burst into my head from this. Too bad I have to go back to school today instead of nurturing my Art Brain with some drawing time. Luckily there are no kids today…just adults and the bullshit the district wants us to do. Am I still burnt out? Oh yeah. I am. Do I have some plans for keeping myself from fully burning out? Uh huh. I do. Watch this space. Still got that damn song in my head.

Doing It Better…

Well hello 2024. Nice to see you, and all those folks in the back kicking 2023 to the curb and welcoming you with open arms. Not sure where I am on that yet. 2023 wasn’t fun, but I’m not seeing the light in 2024 yet. I’ll let you know. No matter what, it’s some sort of a mental reset, although for teachers, I think Winter Break is a reset even if you don’t give us a new year in the middle of it. For me, I will hopefully get caught up and even ahead of the game. That’s the plan anyway. Although, what I planned to do today didn’t happen. I cleaned up my office space instead, the area around the computer and the sewing machine. It needed it. It was a disaster. It will be again, but I can start clean and semi-organized. Just don’t look at the rest of the house.

So the Man and I planned a weekend away to start the New Year. It’s been rough for both of us in the last month or so, and this was a better gift than anything else we could think of. We didn’t have much of a plan, but getting out of here is always a start. We started with a winery gift card I got in 2022 for Christmas and kept forgetting to use…we drove out to Julian…

Had a tasting and got a bottle of wine out of the gift as well…

Nice gift. This is Menghini Winery. We made the mistake of missing the turnoff through Wynola (we came through Ramona, probably because Interstate 8 is still down to one lane eastbound), so we had to endure the crazy Julian traffic.

The bathroom at this winery is stellar…

That is a living ivy plant both outside and in. I’ve been looking at bathrooms for ideas; I’ve got at least one bathroom remodel coming up in 2024 probably. A living plant taking over one wall wasn’t on my list…until now.

From there, we drove out to our Airbnb…it was OK. Not the most comfortable for a cold night. A fireplace would have been nice, but we left things too late and decided a real kitchen was more important than a fireplace.

There were horses on the next property over…

And turkeys wandering around both properties…

There was a lake with kayaks, but we weren’t in the mood…

Although it was a pretty lake.

We went for a hike on Sunday…

The Secret Canyon Trail from the north end…it’s pretty flat for apparently the first 7 miles. We did not do 7 miles…

Nowhere close in fact. There were two water crossings that weren’t bad at all, and then we got to an iffy one, but realistically, the Man’s back was bugging him…

So we did a little over 3 1/2 miles…not much…

But it was nice. No one else on the trail…that’s always a plus.

Then we spent most of the afternoon and evening reading, playing a game we both won…

I did some drawing…

(small table)…I was drawing on the bottom of the drawing I’d chosen, which was from two locations and dates in 2022.

I added more after this.

Then I numbered it…

And then some crazy drawing I did late at night…

I can’t explain this, but I’m glad to have the mindset and the down time to have done it. To more of that in 2024. However I can figure that out.

I do notice that the harder stuff is, the more I dive into reading. I went well above and beyond my Goodreads goal…

Not sure what this year brings for reading, but hopefully it’s a lot. I realized today that I hadn’t read the book I need to read for school…I’ve read it before, but it’s been long enough that I don’t remember what happens at all. I should work on that. Or not? Hard to say.

Anyway, we drove back from the mountains today, and I started by cleaning up this workspace, at least some of it. And then the boychild disconnected all the cable TV boxes to return tomorrow; that’s been on my to-do list for months, so I appreciate his help. I packed up a box for the girlchild, who hopefully flew home tonight. I have a long to-do list for this week, catching up a lot of loose ends, but also a lot of school stuff. And tracing that new quilt. Tomorrow, hopefully I will be writing a blogpost about the Supreme Court quilt and how it came to be and what all the things mean (well, most of them anyway). Then it will ship off to its new owner. The purple quilt is at the photographer. I only made 5 quilts this year, which is down from previous years. I’m not happy about that. Usually I make a little photo thing for them all, but I’m not in the mood tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I’m sad that I didn’t have time to make more. So that would be something I’d like to change in 2024, but also something that will take a lot more than my just saying it in order to happen. I just updated the whiteboard calendar on my fridge, and January is hellish for school. I’m not happy about that. I also can’t do much about it. My teacher morale is low at the moment.

For now, though, I’m going to start tracing this new piece and consider grading the easy assignment tonight, or part of it at least. Tomorrow, I’ll get some errands done and trace some more. Plus read some more. Plus clean some more. I can’t really hit rest and relaxation with so many things that need doing, but tracing is meditative and that will help. May 2024 be better or as good as or whatever you need it to be. I’m going to focus on surviving the next 6 months and then doing it better after that.