I Got Your Number on the Wall*

I’m unclear on how to start this morning. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, limited caffeine intake at this point. It’s a beautiful blue-skied day, my pool has almost recovered from all the rain so far (my pool guy says my pool is the biggest challenge he’s ever had…I think that’s a good thing? He hasn’t quit yet…three of them have in the past.), I have lunch already made, the big quilt is at the photographer, the science project for my students is done and just needs to be scheduled (3 choices, 5 periods, so that’s 15 different posts). I almost feel like stuff is under control, except I’m grinding my teeth, grades are due in like a week and a half and I’m nowhere near done, and my bathroom is a mess. Better not to think about that stuff…just tackle it a bit at a time. I tackle the teeth grinding with exercise. I do love to go to the gym and to go out hiking, but it’s hard to find the time. I guess I just have to. That’s true of so much…just have to. Like your taxes. Just gotta do them (unless you’re the President, apparently).

I’m not the President. I think that’s part of the problem.

It was chilly last night. How do I know this? Well there’s an app for that. Plus the heat came on automatically awfully early. And I went outside in it. But even more importantly, I collected evidence from the multiple furry beasts around me…you can’t see the cat to my right in this photo, but she’s there. And Calli is upside down on the couch, head on my lap. Simba came up eventually, but Calli makes him nervous…

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Later, with cat on lap and Calli right next to her.

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Poor Calli…stuck with me all weekend. She loves my ex, who takes her every weekend, but he is off to Boston to visit the girlchild. So she’s sulking early…

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Actually, it’s because I made her sit in the front seat so she wouldn’t sit on my quilt in the back seat, ready for the photographer.

I really need to get some grading done today. It’s stressing me out. I have been trying to get it done in class, since my prep is eaten up by planning, but the kids don’t seem to understand that there are things they have to do each day, so I do a lot of babysitting…literally standing over a kid and saying, “Um. What are you DOING?” It doesn’t seem to help. We’ve planned this project out so there will be research time and project-making time, with regular checks to keep kids on task, but I’m sure by the end of it, all my patience reserves (do I have any of those left?) will be used up on the kids who just goof off. I’m boggled by that. My pool guy asked me what I had done in a previous life to be a 7th grade teacher…like it was a bad karma thing, punishment for a former life. Huh. I guess that’s one way to look at it. The next one should be awesome then. Full-time artist with a big studio, plenty of money, someone to clean the bathroom and help with the groceries. Man. That would be a blessing.

Still making a tree…one or two more strands in the trunk I think…that’s three there.

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And then…then I was exhausted and the thought of standing to trace Wonder Under felt like too much, but I did it anyway. Because I needed to. This quilt is important.

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I guess they all are, more or less. This is more. It’s hard to look out at exhibits I’m supposed to be working for, the ones where I can’t make it political, where I can’t just do what I want. It’s possible that I won’t be entering those shows, because I can’t draw for that right now. Because every time I look at my phone, there’s some other crazy shit happening that doesn’t make sense, things being taken away that shouldn’t even be a thing that can be removed. Oh yeah, and I’d rather have the NEA than a wall. Do I get a vote on that? Fuck no. Articles about tourism drops, about house sales possibly falling, about people being deported for stupid shit, about anti-vaxxers. If you don’t believe in vaccines, then (1) don’t vaccinate your kid, (2) don’t try to force your lack-of-evidence-based-decision on others, and (3) accept the consequences if your child develops polio. Seriously? You can make that decision, but don’t make it for the rest of us (Mr. Not-My-President). I’m confused about people’s inability to look at evidence and see answers. Blind eyes.

Ah, the frustration. So part of my Spring Break vacation is going to be drawing. A lot of drawing. Because I won’t be able to quilt on the trip…no electricity for a goodly portion of it. Plus really? I’m not hauling light tables or fabric or sewing machines. I will have hand work; I always do. But drawing. Because everything is making my head hurt.

In good news, we found 7 new Earth-sized planets…who’s ready? I feel like we could just start over there and leave the crap here.

*Tommy Tutone, 867-5309

The World’s in Trouble, There’s No Communication*

The big quilt is clean and ready for the photographer this afternoon. 168 hours. OK. So the next one will take less time, for sure (it would be hard not to, honestly). I’m crunched for time, so that’s a good thing. It also means I can’t really stop and take a breath…yet…too many deadlines still. I’m juggling as fast as I can.

So I started tracing Wonder Under for the new one last night…but before I could do that, I had to add a cat. You know, like you do.

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And then a teacup. Again. Necessary.

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Which added 28 pieces. Oh well. So be it. As you can see, when I’m under a time constraint, I still do what the drawing needs.

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THEN I started tracing. These pieces are tiny compared to the last piece. I really tried to keep detail to a minimum…

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Whatever THAT means.

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Anyway, I got about an hour and a half in, maybe 137 pieces? So I’m hoping to be done tracing by the weekend. Of course, there are no more luxurious (ha!) 3-day weekends, so I’ll have to function in sped-up time, like always. Where Sunday afternoons are just for getting my teaching act together and cooking for the week. I get so tired of being the only one in charge of cooking and shopping. Seriously. Could one of you stop by Petco this week and pick up some dog food…I think I’m gonna run out. And the car needs gas. Crap. It needs gas this morning. So I can deliver the quilt this afternoon.

Still working on the tree…one strand of thread. Yes, I know there’s still places to fill in. Be patient.

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There’s the quilt ready to sit in my dog-hair-filled car all day.

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I’m being harassed by a puppy who wants the ball thrown, but won’t bring it to me.

By the way, I bought this pattern for a uterus doll through Knot Hate Project on Ravelry. Because who can resist a uterus doll with a monster eyeball? I kinda suck at crochet, but this is worth fussing through. Plus the money goes to a good cause, Planned Parenthood. So go get one. And then help me crochet the damn thing.

OK, with that, I have to go to school and make sense of the water and carbon cycles. And photosynthesis. Not for me. For 12 year olds. I got it already.

*Joan Jett, Bad Reputation

I Better Go It Alone*

The good news is that after almost 20 hours, I finished tracing the Wonder Under on the newest quilt. Last night. At like 1 AM. But it’s done! Anyone who thinks I get lots of sleep on breaks is crazy nutso. I should. It would be good if I did. But I don’t. I’m in full art mode. Plus grading stuff. So I got myself back on the one-assignment-graded-per-day schedule yesterday…four down, four to go…with two of those four being awful brainsuckers. I’m going to do another one today. Probably not a brainsucker today. I’m doing OK on the grading. Not great.

The Wonder Under took over 5 hours yesterday…tracing some intestines here… img_1256-small

The hair was just Wonder-Under-wasteful. I managed to put some small pieces in between hair strands, but they wouldn’t fit together very well.

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There’s 8 yards plus in there to cut out. I’m hoping to be on fabric by Friday or Saturday. I do have NYE plans, but not until late, so I’d like to spend most of the 31st with fabric if possible. We’ll see.

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We did a spontaneous hike yesterday with the dogs…it was hard, but not deadly. Being cold helps me…

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Top of Cowles Mountain…up the back way and down the service road. A gorgeous day for it…

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Girlchild’s photo of Calli and us further down the service road, waiting…we missed the sunset mostly.

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And this was in the driveway when we got back. Frozen like that until I started inching closer to them. Obviously plotting world destruction.

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If you leave a quilt top anywhere flat, then you should expect cats to lie on it…

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Apparently the same is true of college kids. This is why they love having the kids home…they lie still long enough to be lain upon. Or laid upon. Or something.

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Girlchild loaned me this for a chuckle…yes, it’s a cookbook, but a very snarky one.

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We did eventually get the dogs tired out for once…

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Today is grading and cutting shit out, plus I made it to the doc and the chiropractor. I’m done with the have-to’s for the day (well, except for the grading, dammit).

This quilt is not small. It’s gonna take me a while to get it done. I should remember that when I design the two for either side of it…or accept that there will only be one on one side of it. Or something. Ack. Thinking that far ahead hurts my head. Plus the 24″ piece I need to do before April. OK. I got this.

*Beck, Go It Alone

Do You Believe in What You Feel*

Today is all sunny and bright, well, it was, but now it’s getting a little cloudy, and I’m realizing it’s not as warm as I thought it was. Still winter, eh?

Christmas is over, lots of good food done in (well, there’s a goodly amount of it in my fridge still) and gifting over. Today is a recovery day, a reflective day, trying to figure out how to spend the rest of this week. The art is calling very loudly, but I’m realizing I didn’t grade anything for two days (oh ’twas blissful) and I can’t keep blowing that off. I’ll try. I will. But even louder is the Wonder Under, because I’m almost done with the tracing and it’s oh so very hard to even stop to eat lunch, finish a book that’s due at the library later today, sit down to write this post, even shower. That voice. So loud. So pissed off. Drawings keep dropping in, waiting to make it out on paper. Some more patiently waiting than others.

So the best part of yesterday was the 4 1/2 hours of tracing. OK, family was good too, but I finally felt like I was on the better side of getting the tracing done. Even as I realized I’d missed numbering an entire pelvic girdle and uterus. Whoops.

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So I numbered that and got to 1353, but I already had about 20 pieces that were misnumbered or unnumbered…and today, I found a bunch more.

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So I think we’re even if we just say this beast has almost 1400 pieces in it. Still not as scary as those that go over 2000 pieces. For some reason. It’s still a lot…

Fire in the fireplace, TV on until family showed up (at this point, the cheese plate is being created, so I’m waiting on that before ending the TV background noise)…kept tracing.

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Eventually I joined the crowd…two dogs on the couch, by the way. Always an issue in our house…

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Table extended for extra people, mismatched chairs and placemats. Found 6 napkins that matched and ironed them. Made a centerpiece from things around the house. Still too much crap on that shelf in front of the window, but at least three of the boxes are supposed to go to school with materials we ordered just before break.

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Girlchild took over the kitchen…

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She cooked everything but the meat…

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That was my job. Even the plates mismatched and somewhat too large for the space. Those mashed potatoes? To die for…seriously.

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And all the broccoli got eaten. We didn’t even make the Brussels sprouts…we’ll do those for tonight with leftovers. Good stuff…even for the vegetarians…

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Two desserts as well. All good. Tired and full. Puppy…well, he had a lot of things to run around and attend to, so he conked out.

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And then barked most of the night at the local coyotes…Ugh. My brain is feeling that this morning. Not enough sleep.

So the plan? Finish tracing today…start cutting out pieces. That will take a while. Tomorrow has some stuff I’ve gotta do. I also need to grade something today before I even go back in to the tracing. I spent an hour on it this morning, maybe more. I’m in the 1100s, so maybe 200 to go? So close. Cut them out, start ironing down to fabric. I also need to fit in some other stuff this week. But art, mostly art. I wanna make art. Draw too. It’s supposed to get warmer and warmer this week…so some time sat in the sun on the deck? Drawing? Hoping for that.

But right now, right now I’m going to grade something. Actually, first, I’m going to put socks on, because I’m cold. And then grade. And then trace. Trying not to think about yardwork. Ugh. Don’t wanna. Later. See how artbrain wins? It’s so easy…

*Zero 7, In the Waiting Line

Hang Some Hope on 2017

Someone in the kitchen is singing “When I’m drunk in the morning”…and it’s not me. I’m also not cooking anything…yet…I’m the designated carnivore cooker for later. I made an English muffin with cheese and tomato on it earlier, just for sustenance. That might be the only time I’m allowed in the kitchen (this is OK by me). Happy holidays to all those who celebrate something. We’re pretty pagan here, and not even officially, so all are welcome.

Yesterday, in between holiday events and cleaning house for tonight’s official holiday dinner, I did manage to get some tracing done. I’m going back to do more as soon as I finish writing this.

These were my companions as I traced…

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It was raining on and off, pretty cold, a little bit of hail. One kept watch so I knew when the last Christmas present arrived. The other just slept. I didn’t get much sleep the night before, so I kinda wish I was a dog.

Simba was trying to figure out why I spend so much time hunched over this thing…862 pieces in, some 9 1/2 hours.

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I swore a lot at the skeleton yesterday, as I traced all the overlapping bones. Who designed this? Some asshole? Oh yeah. Me.

The cats don’t care about the laser pointer…Simba is fascinated with it. Although here, he is clearly debating the excitement of chasing the light versus the danger of the big dog. Eventually excitement won out…but his little brain seemed overwhelmed with the decision.

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Then this morning was Christmas with all the opening of gifts and consuming of food…with only two of the three dogs present. Grandpa has two hands…that’s plenty.

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Eventually the little guy tired himself out.

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How to make Grandma happy? Give her Beats.

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Girlchild took a break from donut-hole making to cuddle puppy.

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Who was happy to sample his own gifts…

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While Calli collected all of the rest of them…these are MINE.

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Eventually Simba conked out…it’s like having a toddler in the house…

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I came back to my place, quiet, tree barely decorated (it has lights and some ornaments…I’m fine with that). Kitten had obviously had fun while I was gone. All the Wonder Under and the pencil were on the floor, along with a lone card of embroidery floss. I have no idea where she found it, but it was just sitting there, in the middle of the living room floor. And she had this look on her face.

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Yeah. I think I need to give her some attention today. But first? First I go back to the tracing…need to get a chunk of time in before people arrive for dinner, and I’ve mostly finished my chores. Floors are clean (ish…my vacuum sucks…badly…at the moment), the table is ready (ish). I need a break. Tracing helps.

Hope your day(s) are good, family is a plus (or not), and y’all take some time to relax, and then make art. Or look at art. Or read a book. Or listen to or make some music. Enjoy the weather, whatever it is. Pet a dog or a cat or hold a baby. Whatever floats your boat. Reflect on 2016…but only briefly, because holy crap. And then hang some hope on 2017. It needs it.

Curves the Words, Spins the Verbs*

I’d like to say I’m ready for the Christmas event, but I’m not. I’ve put a few more ornaments on the tree, but no way am I doing all of it. The grocery shopping was mostly done yesterday, but a bunch of stuff is now on the other parent’s plate. Presents are mostly done (there’s a lot of MOSTLY going on at the moment), but few are wrapped. I am just now printing the Xmas letter, but I have no stamps to send them. I should deal with that today. The house is mostly clean. I don’t even know if dinner is here or not. I can’t get a decision on that. I’m keeping up with my goal of grading one thing a day. Except I haven’t done that yet today. It’s not a broken goal until midnight. I’m trying to make art too…although it’s not as easy to fit it in as it is during the school year, ironically. During school, I come home and do stuff like walk dogs, go to the gym, cook dinner, grade an assignment, and then I stop doing all that to make art. That’s not working right now. I feel like I should be able to do 6 or 7 hours of art a day, to replace the hours (more than that) spent at work. But no. It’s not happening yet. It will…but not yet.

I did a pre-drawing for something I need to have done in a week or so. It’s OK…

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It’s a start. I’ll try again. It’s hard to draw what I need to though when thoughts of nuclear bombs are in my head. I was seriously traumatized by the bomb drills we had in the 80s in school, like hiding under the damn desks was going to protect us from a nuclear explosion. I guess those will end up (again) in my quilts. I guess they never left (look two quilts back). I’m boggled sometimes by what people think makes sense in terms of dealing with other people. I want peace; I want that worldwide. I want people to have somewhere warm to stay, to have food in their bellies. I want torture and war and bombing to stop. I guess that is something some people do not want. I spend so much time shaking my head right now, wondering what kind of crazy is in our genetic makeup.

I try to block some of that thinking sometimes, just to get through the day.

And I wonder if I should just get a tree for inside the house, because the cats really really like sitting under it. Like they’re hiding from prey. Except they eat the pine needles and gack them up. That’s not good.

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So yeah, I traced…for a few hours…

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The one on the left is mostly smaller pieces…the one on the right is all big pieces of the stove. Those take longer to trace.

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I’m up in the 400s somewhere. I wanted to be further. Oh well. It is what it is. More today. When I get my act together.

Sleepy cats…

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It rained all day yesterday…it would have been nicer to sit and commune with the animals, but I was not that organized. It’s not happening today either. If I have any time, I’m tracing stuff. But first, finish some Christmas stuff, buy some stamps, maybe find my brain. Yardwork I think…there’s a few branches that need to be cut up, and I’d rather do it today than Christmas Day (which is a possibility). Those are all on the list.

Anyway, if you’re waiting for the annual card/letter, it’s coming. Really. But you already know everything from hanging out here. Peace to all of you…let’s hope what’s his face shuts up for a few days, acts presidential, stops trying to kill us all or send us back to wherever we came from…that would be a plus.

*Chet Faker, No Diggity

This Ain’t Gonna Work*

Well. So. I ironed for about 7 hours yesterday until I realized I’d made a major mistake two steps back. I’m not even sure how I pulled it off. It’s funny, though…I can go back through the blog and see when I made the mistake…it was the day after the election. For some unknown reason, I flipped the drawing over and kept on tracing, but now everything was backwards from before. I have a light table because you have to trace the Wonder Under upside down so when you iron it to the back of the fabric, everything will be facing forwards again. So I did it right until I got to the head. And then I flipped it. For no apparent reason. Wednesday the 9th. Wow. OK.

Anyway, I didn’t figure that out until last night around 9 PM. When I was so close to done. Sigh. Giant ass sigh.

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Uterus in purple and red…legs going into the water…

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Kitten in one of her sleeping spots…

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Prosthetic arm balancing the ever-present cup of tea…and trying to catch that lost eyeball.

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There’s some weird stuff in this quilt…

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The other arm has a giant cell on it…

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And around 9 PM, I started the hair and went. Wait. Fuck. That’s backwards.

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Dammit. I’ve done it before. In fact, I have one entire quilt that is backwards. A full-size one. But to do it midway? Shit. So I was sitting there, head in hands, trying to process. Because it was the last 300 pieces. I hate to waste fabric. And time. So I ironed the sun/cloud combo…

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And I ironed the bird. So the sun would still work on the left side of the body…it was a little different, but I would be the only one who knew. Well, except I just told y’all.

The bird though…not gonna work. Orientation is all wrong. So that’s another 150 pieces or so…I mean, the head had to be retraced because the shoulders and hair wouldn’t work going the other direction. Same with the cat. So that was already 100 pieces.

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I didn’t want to retrace the bird. So at the moment, this is the plan. Flip the bird and cloud locations. I don’t think that will be an issue.

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But I had to retrace about 100 pieces…

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And I did that. And cut them out. Last night. Today, I’ll iron them down to fabric…and cut them out and iron them together. Dammit. Because I was going to be done with the ironing yesterday. Shit. I guess it makes sense that a quilt about time would fuck with MY time. And now you know how much the election affected me. Yeah. Well.

You know what sucks? Colleges deciding midyear to change housing/food costs, so you need to come up with an additional $700 right after the holidays. With no warning. Dudes. This is why I do that payment plan thing…so I can PLAN for it. Fuckers.

Speaking of a plan. I need to do that. For my quilts. It’s in my head. I just wrote it on the whiteboard on my studio door. I’m crazy. You might as well know that now. I’m hoping for four new quilts for the show…which would be fine, if they didn’t need titles, sizes, and photos by April 28. Yeah. I’m working on it. That’s about one a month.

Still trying to get the dogs to be cozy together. Previous to this, Calli was smelling Simba’s privates. Which dogs do. And he lets her, because she’s big and scary. To him. She’s a Golden…she’s really not that scary to most living beings. She’s scared of the cats.

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Yesterday morning, we worked on these trees. Which are on my neighbor’s property, but up on his slope. We’ve trimmed them before, with his permission. But they’re putting the house on the market, so that’s fun (both houses on either side of me selling in one year’s time after 18 years of the same neighbors). The trees block my view of the mountains…so we try to trim them to deck railing height every 5 years or so. I think it’s been longer this time.

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Now when I say we, I should really admit that my job is to stand on the deck and say “cut that. No, there.” while throwing balls or sticks for the dogs. My ex climbs into the trees and I ask where his health insurance card is and make sure the phone is ready to call 911. Because that shit scares the crap out of me. Yes. He has a chainsaw up there. He’s fucking nuts.

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And then we hauled it all back to my property…but here’s my view! The trees will bush out again…and that one roof is ugly as shit…but there’s the mountains! Yay.

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So that was productive. We also took out a volunteer tree that will never be a real tree. It’s a tree weed. But now I can hope the new neighbors are not loud noisy assholes. The guy above me and his cigars. Sigh. I hate that people don’t realize their bad habits affect their neighbors. Then again, I sew in the middle of the night.

Trying to make up for the stupid head stuff that messed up the quilt. Well. I will deal with that. And then start drawing. Well, there’s that school shit I need to do too. Ugh. And Christmas gifts. I started early, which is good, but it’s never early enough.

I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t put all the fabrics away that I used in this quilt, because I’m going to need them again. I hope I have enough of all of them. Eek. One of the flesh fabrics was pretty devastated…hopefully not the face fabric. I think all the grays are OK.

And yes, I will probably iron the wrong-facing face together and do something with it. Like I said, I hate to waste fabric. Those Depression-era sentiments passed down from Grandma through Mom…although I don’t save my tin foil. I do save rubber bands and twist ties though. OK Kathryn…focus. Yup. That app…read the quote. Sometimes I think it knows me.

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Because the mistake isn’t the end of the world, now is it? It was just hard to take last night. And now that I know where my head was when I made it, I just want to give myself a hug.

*Glass Animals, Gooey

I Don’t Know Why Sometimes I Get Frightened*

Yes. I have the day off. Thank you, veterans of the world. I’ve been reading too much (as many of us over-educated people apparently do) lately, and am disturbed by references to how major conflicts and wars began in the past and what we are seeing with Brexit and TrumpWorld. Though I am not pro military in many ways and I wish we could coexist in this world without always trying to force each other to behave, I also realize the Hitlers and Putins and Mugabes of the world probably need a military force in order to make them behave. A worldwide force. So for stopping concentration camps and dropping atom bombs, I will say thank you to our veterans. And for anything that we need to do in the future…protecting human rights for all…not just whoever seems to be in charge.

That said, holiday or not, I am going to work as soon as I finish this. I have a pile of work that is taller than I am, I think. I can’t go into this weekend with that hanging over me. I want to get a good chunk of it done. Especially since I know I have a quilt that needs to get done over Thanksgiving week…because I’m starting a copyediting job right after that. So time is tight.

But my brain is in this place. We met last night for the next show my women’s art group is planning and we revised it in light of the election. And on the way home, the drawing for it popped into my head. I need time to sit out on the deck and draw that. Although the mosquitoes are back. So maybe not on the deck. Sigh. But the world does not feel safe at the moment, not for women, not for LGBTQ, not for my refugee and immigrant students, not for anyone who does not want to feel attacked all the time. There is a call for people like me to better understand those who voted for Trump, and I have a hard time getting past the reality that a lot of it was probably a sexist choice or a choice based on fear of change. But I will listen. And I will act…if that act is making more art, or if it is marching in solidarity somewhere, or if it is speaking up against racism and sexism and xenophobia everywhere (I already do this in my classroom), then so be it.

I came home and finished tracing the Wonder Under on the new piece…just over 10 hours…

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It’s 5 yards…about…of Wonder Under. I almost met my revised schedule on this. I think I wanted to be done tracing on Wednesday and cutting on Thursday.

Midnight. You are such a dork.

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But I did start cutting…got two yards cut out. And watched all of Colony…dystopian societies with revolutionary groups fighting for freedom and rights. Huh.

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This morning, there’s the remaining three yards waiting for me. Tonight?

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If I get enough work done, yes. Finish cutting them out this weekend and sort them. Start picking fabrics by Sunday night? Maybe. Ouch. Way too much to do. Grading. Finishing that worksheet for Tuesday’s class (waited a bit too long on that one). Planning for after break…just getting the normal school stuff done on top of this grading pile. And the holidays coming…

Yesterday, I had this one group of kids fighting over the lab equipment, and then the two boys were denigrating the one girl who was trying to do her part, and I finally went off on them. Quietly. Which I think scared them. And I asked them what we were learning in homeroom about how to listen to other people respectfully, and I asked them why they were trying to make the two girls feel bad for “not doing it right.” They froze. And their faces dropped. And they heard me for once. Hey, that age…when they DO hear you, that’s a big one. I’m keeping that moment in my heart and head at the moment. That was a success. They worked together after that. Mostly. Because one of the boys has some major shit in his head. But those moments give me hope.

Yeah. I need a hike today too. I bet the dogs do too…so despite temperatures in the 90s and early sunset, I’m going to push that into the schedule. Because I have to take care of this stressful, panicked feeling. One of my art friends said, “Make Art Loudly.” Yeah. That.

*Split Enz, I Got You

When the Evening’s Thin*

So many conversations going on. So many worries. So many stories of hate out there. My students who wouldn’t stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. Hell, I’m with them on many days, but I told them, this is YOUR country. Not Trump’s. Be angry. Be scared. But remember this is your country. Hard for some of them to hear, as refugees. As immigrants. I remind them my own family immigrated here. We didn’t start here. We left oppression, starvation, and came here.

I had a long meeting after school, then a longish phone conversation. The plus is I got the copyediting job, but it will start later than I thought. In some ways, that’s good…it gives me a chance to finish the grading I’m trying to do on the last HUGE unit, plus the quilt that needs to be done by December (ouch. scary.). And then December will be a bit of a bitch. But I’ll have some money by the end of it for college. And I need that right now.

I did grade some stuff last night. And then I went back to tracing…

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At one point, I thought I could finish last night…but then I realized I had another 150 pieces to go, which is at least an hour and probably closer to two. And it was midnight. Hmmn. And I had to be up early for a meeting. Ugh. Yesterday, I lit about 45 candles. For science…although I did briefly say some good thoughts to the goddess while doing it. And I don’t do that often. I didn’t set off any fire alarms. I feel pretty good about that. Today I think I will have to tie knots in 45 balloons. We’ll see.

Tomorrow I walk these guys…except it’s in the 90s today and supposed to be tomorrow as well (is it November? Really?).

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Someone left my yard gate open and both of them got out yesterday evening. In the dark. The little one doesn’t come when he’s called, but he follows when the big one and I run away from him. I’m a little creeped out by the gate…who was here? Pool guy doesn’t come on Wednesday. Plus the pool was full of leaves, so I know he wasn’t here. This living alone thing is scary sometimes. I reminded a friend who called last night that she was lucky to have someone to cuddle with in bed tonight…so she should go do that and enjoy it.

Tonight? Another meeting. But maybe I’ll finish tracing and move on to the next step. And maybe I’ll find time to draw. Because I think that would be a plus over the next few days. I need some space for my head to get out on paper. As many of us do.

*Sarah McLachlan, Building a Mystery

It’s a Very, Very Mad World, Mad World*

Reeling. More worried about how to walk into my classroom today and let my almost 100% immigrant kids know that they are safe here in TrumpWorld.

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Because I’m not sure they are.

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Reeling for women’s reproductive rights…hell, women’s rights in general. LGBTQ rights. Human rights. The Supreme Court. My taxes. My kids in college, paying college fees and loans. My health insurance. But mostly knowing that I am currently under a government that doesn’t care about those things. Or me. Or my students. And people around me voted for them…not just Trump, because he is just one man, but a conservative, racist, misogynist man who takes the slightest offense and turns it into a Tweet war, and a government that might be on his side.

I started having a panic attack around 7 or so, so I turned off the news and started tracing. I traced for over 3 hours. My kids were texting me all throughout. It’s possible the girlchild is rioting right now, while the anarchist boychild plots some sort of political overthrow. I’m OK with both of those right now. (And if they’re not, maybe they should be.)

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