I Could Be Reading…

So state testing has started. Some years, it’s easy, the kids are into it, it’s chill. Some years, it’s not. This year? Not. Fun times. Today will be worse…it’s the performance task. Some kids will just skate through it. Some will pretend and then hit submit after writing one sentence. Some kids will just repeatedly lose their minds that they’re being asked to test at all, to sit still, to be quiet, not disrupt those around them, not bang on the table or pile up all their snacks and drinks (that did really happen yesterday. All of it.). So by the time 12:15 comes around, all my patience for the day (and possibly three or four days afterwards) is gone. Not great, because we’re testing again today. And I still have to teach for days until the end of the year. One kid was already like, why do I still have to do work? Because they know they’re promoting (probably) or not and they think we’re done. We have 29 days left, dude. Don’t stop now. Sigh. My stress levels are high…my face is breaking out…my blood sugar is a mess. And today is my 500th pilates class! Not sure it matters. It’s not like I’m stopping now.

OK, artwise, I’m in a weird place. I did finish the book piece. I managed to construct it properly…

The first two pages are shoved into that envelope of the last two pages. There’s certainly a few things I would have done differently, but it’s done now.

I need official photographs so I can enter the show, but I’ll do those when I’m home in daylight.

Eventually, I’ll have my photographer take photos, but I don’t have time for the thing it’s being entered into, which has a tight deadline. If it gets in, it’ll be in the downtown library for 5 months. I’ll let you know.

So what next? Well, I don’t have my head around the next big quilt, although I know there will be one over the summer. I was thinking of doing something smaller just to keep me mentally going through the last weeks of the school year. I haven’t figured out what that is yet, though, because I’m trying to finish my friend’s mom’s quilt. I was diligently working on it in January and February and then a random deadline popped up and I got sidetracked. I mean, I did purposely put this one away to finish the other thing. So I’m finishing this…I’m almost done anyway. Well, for some definition of ‘almost’.

Her mom made the quilt and sandwiched it, but unfortunately was unable to quilt it before she died. So it’s here and I’m quilting it. I’m in the outer border at the moment, with the rest done. I think. Honestly can’t remember if I finished the center panel. I think I did.

I did. So I finished outlining the symbols in the blue border and will overall quilt that starting tonight. Then I need to outline the reddish brown and black borders. Some things have happened to this quilt over a long time (fabric replaced, not by me, possibly already partially quilted? I just don’t know). And then I’ll put the binding on. And hand it over. And then, like I keep saying, not offer to help ever again (which is really not in my nature…sometimes I say no and then go back and say yes; please don’t take advantage of that). So when I’m done with this, I’ll start something new. Or maybe in between. We’ll see.

Clay is going. I made most of a priest and 3 handmaidens on Monday…

I was thinking when I went in next, I could start underglazing, but no. I still need to give him a cross and a head. Most definitely a cross. Head? Hmmm.

We watched the first episode of Season 6 of The Handmaid’s Tale last night…made us both cry. Good times. So Friday, I’ll go in and try to make a head. And a cross. And THEN I can start underglazing.

The bees left yesterday. I figured they would. I came home and washed the composter lid and side, then sprayed it with citronella, hoping it will cut the bee pheromones. They keep coming back. Not sure what to do about that. I have a bee-friendly yard…maybe a bit TOO friendly. And no, I haven’t fixed the damn sprinklers. I think I need two solenoids now. I don’t know. Maybe I need a new controller.

I had two cats on my lap in rapid succession last night. Luckily the chonk here didn’t stay long.

He’s a year old now and solid. Sometimes sweet, sometimes not. Like all calicos. I have a hole in my right hand from his morning whack. He’s harassing the old lady, who basically needs to be carried into the litter tray and food multiple times a day. She can get there, but he attacks.

OK. Testing. Afternoon is science planning. I’ve managed to grade quite a bit so far, so that’s good. I had to get a loaner computer Monday after school because my screen just went black when I was at lunch. Fun times. So Monday was stressful. I guess the good news is the eye with the vitreous humor detachment is fine (as fine as anything with a big blob rolling around in it is), but she thinks the other one will detach too. Except the right one has always been worse, more nearsighted, with an astigmatism. The left isn’t as bad. So let’s hope it doesn’t. She does think the blog will wander south with time and only show up when I first get up in the morning. Sounds good. Somehow I found the energy to go to ceramics after all the running to the IT department (not at school) and getting a new computer. After school, I have a telehealth appointment with my doctor where she will tell me I need to get my numbers down and I will ask her how to do that and she won’t have an answer. So there’s that. Then my 500th pilates class and book club. And someone else is cooking dinner. I’m already exhausted because I didn’t sleep well, so I’ll be quilting after that and going to bed. Oh! Also trying to finish my book before the library sucks it back from me. I went to the gym last night to help me finish it, but I’m at 86%, less than 100 pages. I’m up early to go to the meeting my principal just canceled. I could be reading. I should be reading.

The Pieces Don’t Fit Together So Good*

I missed writing yesterday. It was a busy day. I did a lot of things. I forgot about normal routines. Food included. Eh. Not the best plan. I’m going to do better today, I hope.

On Thursday, I drew this during the talking time…

It wasn’t that I wasn’t listening or contributing…this shit helps me think. This is small, by the way, and could never be a quilt. Seriously. That would be crazy.

The boychild picked me up from school and we saw this on the way home.

I’m disturbed that this exists.

This guy was waiting for us as we walked down the driveway. Lots of hawks around here…

We got out a little early, and the dogs wanted a walk.

So did I. It was hot. We need a better way to water the dogs on a walk. Although they might not drink anyway. Lots of ticks collected on this walk. Sigh.

I can’t explain this. But it was on the walk.

Name of my next quilt…

So that was Thursday…and I didn’t get a lot done that night (tired)…Satchemo got some sleep in…

Look at that face. So cute when he’s not snorting snot everywhere. I did get some stuff cut out on Thursday…

I’m not really doing any of this during the day. Not by choice…just other stuff seems to suck up my time.

On Friday, there was some shopping, some planting, lots of computer crap, some job-hunting (not mine), some dinner prep…

My plan was to cut out all the pieces of the quilt after dinner until I was done, but then we watched the 6th episode of The Handmaid’s Tale and I couldn’t get the covered mouth thing out of my head. I tried. I started cutting. And then I got up and got the sketchbook.

The left side is nature OK; the right side is nature not OK, which is what was causing the issues in why people couldn’t have babies. So I kind of worked with that. I can’t explain the hand cut off…like the bodies weren’t allowed to be whole. I was really disturbed by the silent handmaids…and we don’t know yet if that was a choice. And how the hell do they eat? Who knows.

There was a sleepy dog…

So this was about 45 minutes. And then I started cutting again…but not done.

I still need to cut out all the stuff on the right. So that’s today, I guess. It’s funny…I made this long list of stuff to do yesterday and got hardly any of it done. Frustrating. Hopefully today will be better. I’ve got stuff to do tonight, but the whole day is free…although there’s cleaning that needs doing too. Sigh. OK. Food, shower, organizing my brain, then art. I have a whole ‘nother drawing I need to do as well. One week of summer break is gone. It feels scary to have lost a week. OK, not lost…just gone. It’s OK. I’m still tired, my cold came back to bug me, I need more rest, that’s for sure. Maybe that should be my goal for the weekend? Huh. Maybe. I think I’ll feel better if I can cross off a chunk of things off that list. I’m sure there’s something wrong with that idea, but it makes me feel better. I’ll meditate later!

*Amanda Palmer, Astronaut: A Short History of Nearly Nothing

Beat Me Up with Your Letters*

Late post today…wish it was from sleeping in and relaxing, but I’ve been up for hours. Took one car into the shop…I’m tired of the driver window not working. Then drove to pick up another quilt…well, quilts, because some little ones were in their shop for the last year, and they just gave back the three that hadn’t sold…so those are back on Etsy. I’m never sure Etsy is working very hard for me, but since I sell about one small quilt a year on there and the expenses are much less than that, it can’t hurt. I don’t work very hard at my Etsy account though. None of the larger quilts are on there. They’re too expensive for that market, I think…and I suspect even some of the smaller ones might be too. Probably most of my stuff is too weird for Etsy too.

Anyway, I also bought the binding fabrics for the two quilts that are now ready, because Yes! I finished quilting the long skinny one yesterday. I finally managed to sit still for like 3 1/2 hours (it’s been hard folks) to finish. Here’s the heart and boobs…

The whole thing stretched out over my chair…

Did the face…the pin is another place I forgot to stitch down. Done now.

And then I went right into quilting the background…there wasn’t much of it.

So there’s two ready to be trimmed and bound. Maybe later today? I have a lot going on today.

Then I realized I had quilt class today and nothing really to work on. I have a bag I could finish, but I’m missing some materials and haven’t had (made) the time to get those. So that’s out. I could take the binding with me, but I’d have to take all my stuff with me to do that, and it’s too much to deal with. So I remembered those two little quilts…last week at class I trimmed the Wonder Under. So I spent about an hour and a half last night ironing it to fabrics…I think this more complicated one has about 23 fabrics in it (but 90 pieces).

I am keeping track of time on these, so they’ll be for sale after they’ve been in the exhibit they’re getting made for…so December maybe? I can’t remember when the exhibit closes. It’s a California Fibers’ exhibit at Soka University in Orange County. I have four larger pieces in the exhibit, and then these two small ones will be part of a wall display our whole group is making. It should be cool.

I just used the same flesh fabrics from the quilt I just finished. It was easier. I don’t want to spend a lot of time on these.

The second piece only has 30 pieces, so it will be quicker to get done.

I may have underestimated my time with thinking I could finish them in a couple of hours. It’s going to be a bit longer than that. But now I can take them to class with me and get them cut out. That’s a step in the right direction.

So I didn’t get time to draw last night, because I was doing those. Plus I had book club last night. It was an interesting conversation about The Power by Naomi Alderman, especially in light of watching the second season of The Handmaid’s Tale and dealing with politics over the last few months. We spent a lot of time talking about social implications and nature v. nurture…always interesting. My book club is sci fi and fantasy based, so we do spend a lot of time on the science of things, which I really enjoy. I used to review the books I was reading on here pretty regularly. Honestly, I’ve spent most of the last 5 months reading the Expanse series…I have one novella left, and then I’m totally caught up until the new one comes out in December. I’ve really enjoyed the stories but also the portrayal of women in this series, which seems to be a bigger issue for me now that I’m old and mostly invisible. I read one of Philip K. Dick’s books, The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, and spent the first three chapters just chafing at his women. Sigh. It makes it harder to read…and watch, honestly, when they turn them into movies. Maybe I’ll try to write more about what I’m reading here. Again.

Anyway, so getting some more stuff done today, although probably more hobby stuff than art stuff. That’s OK. There’s progress…that’s all I need.

*Squeeze, Is That Love?

“We Lived, as Usual, by Ignoring.”*

So I was trying to pick a place for dinner this week, a celebration dinner, and I was cruising through Yelp…one of the restaurants that I was considering (and now am not) was Bo Beau, one of the Cohn Restaurants here in San Diego. They have great food and interesting restaurant environments, but on their menu is a statement, a political one for sure, that I just don’t agree with…so I won’t be eating there. Ever. It’s that statement that they will be including a 2% surcharge to cover increased minimum wage and health costs for their employees. You know, most grownups who run a business realize that this is a good thing for the people they employ, that even if you don’t personally want to pay for better wages, for wages that actually might support someone, you should keep your mouth shut to your customers. Because you just lost one…well, and since I influence a few others, a few others will also not go to your restaurants now. Any of them. Good job. I teach the children of some of those minimum-wage workers, Cohn Group, and your lack of respect for their needs and for the vote of the majority is telling. Telling me to go somewhere else.

Don’t get me wrong…wrap that surcharge into increased prices without making it sound like you object to paying your lowest-paid employees more? I have absolutely no problem with that. I want them to be paid more. But stop whining about it. I’ll go somewhere more mature about people’s rights to a fair wage.

I’m in political brain mode at the moment, drawings slamming into my head. Wish I had time for that. Part of it is the next birthday, age 50. I’m OK with achieving cronedom in general (wish my uterus would get the hint), although in the specific, there are things I would change in my own life. But that’s a work in progress, always. But the daily wham of stupidity and disregard I see in my elected officials? Sheesh. Meanwhile, my book club is reading The Handmaid’s Tale, which I read when it came out or soon after…1985…the year I graduated high school.

Here’s my cover…it fell off this time I started rereading it…

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Now I just marched in January for women’s rights…because I’m tired of being told I’m not worth as much, I’m not as smart, I can’t make decisions, I’m too emotional or illogical, or whatever other bullshit you’ve come up with about my DNA that makes you think you can decide for me…

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The variety of covers for the book over the years is intriguing…how they decide to depict what the story is about. I’d forgotten about the personal part of Offred’s story. I remembered the main part. It’s been a while since I read it last…

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Pears. Pears?

I also marched for women who couldn’t march. I marched for more equality for ALL women. I realize being white makes a lot of things easier for me than if I were any of my students, women of color, women with disabilities, women of a variety of religions, immigrant and refugee women. It doesn’t make sense to just fix it for the rich white chicks. It’s been unfair for so long…even more so for others. I’m tired of it.

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Don’t tell me to smile, to laugh, to ignore. Don’t shut me up. Don’t tell me to be nice. Don’t apologize for me.

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Some women having more rights than others for any reason doesn’t make sense. A bunch of rich white men making that decision doesn’t make sense. Why would we want to go backwards?

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This cover completely creeps me out. It’s from the first edition hardback released in Canada in 1985, artist Gail Geltner…a collage artist and feminist.

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I watched 10 Cloverfield Lane last night and there was a creepy moment in the movie when the male character couldn’t come up with the word “woman” with regard to the main female character. Although she was obviously an adult, he used “girl” and “princess”. As creepy as the movie was across the board, that moment sticks in my head. Like YIKES.

No video for you though…sorry.

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Yeah, I enjoyed my foray into the Prisma app.

This is a nice cover…except why flowers? Because she’s fertile?

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And they’re calling the 1980s vintage again.

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This cover…there’s pills and syringes and umbrellas and gloves and nooses? With your umbrella? The bleeding heart flowers…those are from the book.

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I actually think this is the best cover of all of them.

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If you haven’t read this book, you should. It’s relatively short. And Atwood is an amazingly eloquent and psychic writer.

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Here’s the whole picture of the wall (a WALL?!) that’s on my cover. A wall? Controlling women? Controlling immigration? Getting rid of the constitution? Protests? Oh sigh. It’s going to be a long presidency. At least I know there really was a conspiracy against those with uteri…I didn’t imagine it. It just wasn’t in my face all the time. Now it is. Thanks.

With that, I’m going to wear what I want to the grocery store and read the signs and buy what I want, even lotion if I like it, and I’m going to come back and make some political art with a uterus in it (oh wait, dammit, there’s no uterus in this one…just a vulva big enough to hide the world in). And you can’t stop me. Yet.

“We lived, as usual, by ignoring. Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.” Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale