Chaos and All.

Ah chaos. There’s nothing like it. When things seem like they are finally chilling out a bit, add some chaos to it. I can never remember whether chaos always moves to order or not, because my experience is that order always returns to chaos.

So pro: the carpet is in and I’ve managed to move a chunk of boxes and furniture back to where they belong. Con: boychild is still at the fire and probably will be until next week, and he wants to go through his stuff, so he doesn’t want it all moved back in. Hmmm. So I meant to go to ceramics the last two days and it didn’t happen, because when I’m at home, I feel like I either need to paint (I primed the drywall patches yesterday) or move shit (I did a lot of that yesterday). I now have about 7 boxes of books that need to go back in bookshelves, a box and three bags of clothes that need to go back in their shelves, and about 3000 other things that need to go back where they were. I did finally clear enough of the living room to be able to swing the other couch back out, so I can get in to the couch without climbing over the Man. Plus the oppressive height of bookshelves in the middle of the room is gone. What’s not gone is my inability to focus on any one task for a given period of time. It’s summer, it’s chaos, I’m tired, I’m overwhelmed in a very different way than during school. It’s OK, because I get to read every day and I’m not at school (oh wait, I was yesterday) and I’m getting this house back into shape (that is the overwhelming part). There’s so much painting, and I hate that, and it takes forever, and I’ll never finish. So there’s that.

Artmaking has been slim for the last few days. I need to change that. Monday night, I cut binding and sleeves for the two quilts from my stash (score!). I don’t need to buy more fabric right now. I’m going to PIQF in two weeks…I can buy it there (ha ha). I did not sew them on yet…that’s a goal for today. There are many goals for today.

This one has matching binding and sleeves…I had a lot of this fabric. It was a background for another quilt.

This one, the sleeves match the backing, which I’ve had for about a million years. Seriously. So I’m glad to start using it. And the binding is from my stash.

I don’t usually buy more than a half a yard of fabric unless I’m using it for a background. And then I use the leftovers on the back when I can. Or the rejects sometimes. I get a background home and it’s way too busy to BE a background. And one of my friends who gifted me a bunch of fabric when she moved, she had larger pieces (yardage) of fabric, so I’ve been using those on the backs, and I just found some remnants from my niece’s old curtains and bedding (I think?) that will be great for backings too…when I was cleaning out under the bed. You forget what you put away…it’s hidden from sight and mind.

Then I started tracing the bugs for the OMA Street Level event next Friday. Why did I agree to this? Because now I’m doing a TV news thing too. That sounds terrifying. ANYWAY. At some point, I’m going to retire from teaching and I need alternate sources of income. That’s how I see it. I have weak moments…if you ask me to do things at certain times, Imma think I have to. Lame but true.

So I traced two of each. I am demoing at the event, so I need to have some in process pieces. I haven’t figured out what/how I’m doing it entirely, but I’m going to turn at least 5 of these into stepouts of some sort. I can’t decide how many I’ll need to demo at each stage…hopefully I’ll have that figured out next week. Ha! Today, I’ll cut some of these out and iron them to fabric, I think. I also need to start ironing the big quilt together. Like today. AND go to ceramics, but that might need to be tomorrow. Today is a little chaotic. A lot chaotic.

Oh, here’s the carpet…no more 1980s dirty beige. And it’s delightfully squishy.

How long until that cat has an accident on it? Probably not long.

That is the boychild’s half-destroyed chair blocking my office during the carpet install.

He needs a new chair. Not my problem though.

And here’s a sunset view of the Lake Fire area.

Pretty if you don’t think about where the particulates that made it came from. It’s at almost 30,000 acres and 16% containment. He’s been there since Sunday night late aka Monday morning hella early. They usually do 24 hours on and 24 hours off…but since they left San Diego at midnight on Sunday, IDK how they’re counting hours. I do know we heard from him this morning and he was headed back in. This is Day 12 of his being gone. I should go water his plants again. The last bout was 12 days. I think this will be closer to 17 or more. Tough on them. This fire season has started out worse than last year’s, for sure.

I did a drawing a week ago at dinner. It was weird. Post hike.

There were lemons at the bar. What can I say? Sometimes I just roll weird.

I have two tomatoes growing and a few bell peppers…this one is growing quite fast.

But I can’t seem to get the zucchini to do anything but make flowers. I collected some pollen and read about male/female flowers, but I’m not seeing any female flowers. Plus something keeps trying to eat them. I don’t know. I got zucchini because I hear all these stories of 100s of zukes being produced by one plant. I don’t NEED 100s…just a few would be nice.

These little spiders (and their webs) are EVERYWHERE in my yard right now.

At least they are tiny. The big orbweavers freak me out. That’s fall.

Simba misses his boy too.

OK, so more chaos yesterday…

Um. Yeah. We have a new kitten.

He has no name yet. Don’t even ask how or why. Unless you’re buying me a drink. Then I might explain the convolution. He’s very sweet, hyper, and friendly.

Although I think lots of hissing has gone on. And we are puppysitting today (set up before the kitten showed up). So there are four cats and two dogs in a space that still has all the furniture willy nilly. Yeah. Chaos. So I’m going to stick around here today, I think, a bit more than I was originally planning to, just because I think the Man’s patience might be worn a bit thin. Although the cat is his. Or Simba’s. Hard to say.

I have plenty of stuff to do around here. I can go to ceramics tomorrow if I don’t get there today. I do need to be more focused today than I was yesterday. I guess I was focused on moving shit yesterday. The Man’s back injury doesn’t allow him to lift much, but he is a Logistics guy, so he was useful for how to do things, but sometimes a little too tell-me-how-to-do-it. Sigh. There’s a fine line, I know. I also have some school stuff to work on, after meeting with my co-teacher yesterday to evaluate the mess in each others’ rooms and for me to find my packets…why I didn’t take them with me in June? Oh I know. Because I needed to lock it all up and walk the fuck away. I’m not necessarily WORKING on stuff now. But at least I have it. It’s a beautiful day. I have art to make. I need a shower and more tea (Simba barking at 5:22 AM y’all). I need some food. It’s all good. Chaos and all. Maybe that’s the kitten’s name.

Always Good…

Apparently no one has explained to Simba that people like to sleep in on days they don’t have to go to work. He’s UP! Wants to know why no one else is UP! The world is a noisy place. He wants to bark at it.

OK, three days post surgery, it still hurts to swallow, there’s a little pain on and off (ice packs! Motrin!), but all is good. It’s not going to be a pretty scar…ah well. I don’t really care about that. I do care that the doc just messaged me that everything is benign and clear and I don’t need to do anything else for now, although the tissues they removed are more likely to develop into cancer (we knew that going in). So one worry checked off. Always good. I feel fine, although I’m still not lifting things or working out. First of those is Sunday, fully approved by the doc. I’ll hopefully hike before then.

I made it to the ceramics studio yesterday…finished all four of the pots for the Man. Couldn’t leave the one blank, so I made little Venus flytraps all over it, rainbow-colored.

Simple. I now have 5 pots on the drying rack. I did work on the world figure I started back in April, but I forgot to photograph it. I’m glad I’m finally got some space on my shelf to put the top part…so that’s the next plan.

I have to go in to school today and tomorrow for interviews: new science teacher today, assistant principals tomorrow. Fun times. Yes, I get paid. I also get to make sure they don’t pick someone lame.

I’ve been doing lots of ironing, because it’s easy enough. Well, is it? Lots of complicated stuff being ironed. Tuesday…I did two sessions and got one entire figure ironed.

Lots of browns and flesh tones. Last night, I got the flesh ironed on the third figure, but not all the other stuff…I did the hair and the eyeball, but then I got tired.

That’s her fleshy colors on the right. Plus a dark eye. I’m in the 1000s, but also I’ve ironed some of the 1100s. And some of the 900s aren’t ironed. So that’s clear. There’s still one entire figure to go and a shit ton of stuff in the sky. But the box is full of pieces to cut out. That’s fun.

I drew last night.

I haven’t been drawing. It’s been harder and harder with school the last four years to get time to draw. I work so many hours at the day job. I reserve an hour a night for art, but it’s mostly working on whatever project I’m currently obsessed with. There’s no time for just random drawing, except at the occasional dinner out. I used to do these big random drawings for no reason at all, just because I wanted to draw. So there’s that. Boob and brain in that one. Still waiting on brain results.

Reading a book about the period…called Period.

Fascinating stuff…science and politics and history. I can read nonfiction as long as I’m reading a fiction book concurrently. Which I am.

I replanted a few things. Not this. Just saw this.

It makes the prettiest flowers.

Found this little sweetheart bouncing around the leaves last night…

Hoping it’s OK. I always figure parents are nearby and I should leave it alone. We do occasionally find dead hummingbirds. Sad.

And the owls are still here, seemingly acting like there’s eggs or babies in the box?

I have not given up on them. Hoping to hear future squawking of tiny owlets.

OK, off to school for a little while. Then back here, ironing, plus setting stuff up for an Insta takeover. Tomorrow is interviews all day. I just wanna know if I should bring my lunch? I’ll ask today. Otherwise, I’m gonna sit in the good news for a while.

Hard to Sit Still…

OK, I’m off on my writing days. It’s OK. I probably don’t actually know what day it is most of summer. It’s better that way. We’re so hyperfocused on days and dates when we’re teaching that it’s nice to take some time off from that. As long as I don’t miss any appointments.

Yesterday was surgery. It went well. I’m not in a lot of pain. Got rid of the heavy duty pain meds already. I feel better without them anyway, and now that I can take ibuprofen again, it’s effective enough. I get results next week. Meanwhile I’m mentally designing tattoos for the scar. It’ll be a while before I can do that, but I can still dream it. Everyone wants me to rest, but my body likes to move more than rest. I did OK yesterday…did a lot of stitching and watching videos. One was this Textile Talk by Dr. Teri Walker, who interviewed me at some point for an article she’s writing. Three of my quilts are in the talk, which was cool…

Shout out to all my political activist quilt friends also in this talk.

My surgeon had to sign the side he was operating on.

That sharpie is not coming off anytime soon. I have dissolvable stitches with a waterproof coating that will slowly deteriorate (I’m supposed to gently wash it with soap)…the plus is that I could shower today! There’s some adhesive that caused a mark and some other adhesive that will apparently take a few days to get the fuck off (not on the wound), so that’s fun. But I am no longer orange. I am signed though. WEIRD.

Stitching I did yesterday…

That freaking drizzle stitch tail took forever…

Finished the wings, put the eyes on, and started around the leaves…

I also finished one book and started two more. Wait, I think I finished two books. Hmm. I’m reading one on the Kindle app (nonfiction) and one in actual book shape (fantasy) so I don’t lose my saved up days/weeks on the Kindle. Yes, I guess that’s a thing.

I did ceramics on Saturday afternoon. This is one of the pots for the Man’s carnivorous plants.

It was fun to do, much faster than the last one.

I did a couple of coil pots too…

Just to use up the clay. I’d like to go in today, but everyone keeps yelling “REST” at me. You know, part of my resting is sitting on a stool at the ceramics studio and playing with clay. I could do that for 2-3 hours with no complaint.

From one of the books I’m reading…the last phrase especially.

Yes it’s a book about a bookstore. Once Upon a Tome. It’s amusing, but I’m not sure what the plot is. Or if there is one.

We hiked Saturday.

I’m allowed to take short walks today.

Hiking by Saturday? Maybe sooner. Except I’m doing all these school-related interviews Thursday and Friday. My fault for saying yes. My fault for giving a shit about who is foisted on me next year.

Saturday night’s drawing. New place for dinner. We liked it.

Nice space.

Saturday night’s ironing…I finished the tree in the 1400s.

It was easier than saving those fabrics aside until I got there.

Then Sunday night, I ironed all the fleshy bits on the first woman.

And last night (yes, last night I felt well enough to stand for an hour to iron), I did all the non-fleshy bits on the same woman.

Tried to add a lot of color. This quilt is heavy on the browns and grays at the moment.

Tonight (or this afternoon), I’ll start on the second figure. New flesh tones.

Legit.

OK, one of the things that sucks the most post surgery is that I have to wear a bra for 48 hours straight. I’m already done with it. I was done with it last night. I took it off to shower and it was hell to put it back on.

Not because it hurts…I just hate bras. It’s summer. It’s anathema to wear a bra.

This is the hood of my car…it is covered with bunny fur bits that were pulled out, probably by the hawk that was eating it…

In the tree above my car. It was sad. Although I’m glad only fur landed on my car. Ugh.

More random shit from the internet.

Also legit. And the last one…I swear…before I go REST again (I am tired of resting…yes, it has been 24 hours. Might be my max.).

Oh yes. Well, I will go read for a while and maybe stitch, or maybe come back in here and STAND. I was not put in this world to rest. Some people are very good at it. I fail. I get an F. Don’t lecture me about my body needing the time to recover. I think my body needs what makes me feel better right now. I know better than to lift furniture or dig holes (both are on my to-do list), but if I have to sit on the couch for another 8 hours, Imma kill something. Not a baby bunny though. I’m definitely watering things today. I’ll hold off on planting the other things, because I would have to use a big shovel, and I’d get shit for doing that. It’s a beautiful day out there though. Hard to sit still when there’s so much to do. Please don’t email me and tell me why I need to rest. I KNOW. I still don’t like it.

Slow.

OK whoa Nelly. We made it. The 2023-2024 school year has ended. That’s 21.5 years of teaching in the bag. That’s 16 years at my current school. The last 5 have been rough. I keep hoping (because I am apparently eternally optimistic) that the next one will be better. The pro of this last year is that the kids weren’t too bad. There were a few issues, but nothing like the previous year. This last year was difficult for a lot of reasons, and not all of them were school-related. But it’s done! Woohoo! And I have absolutely no school stuff planned for the next 54 days. Well, that’s a lie. I have two possible meetings with my co-teacher who is coming back after a year. The weird shit that happens in life. May we both have a chill year. At least one. Part of one. Dammit.

Promotion and the day before were hot and sunny; I’m a little sunburnt, but mostly did OK with a hat and sunscreen. I did definitely feel off, whether dehydration or stopping all my supplements pre-surgery, I don’t know. I just know I don’t feel well right now. Exhaustion? Who knows. I took very few promotion photos, but this one, of one of our favorites from the last two years, giving a speech during promotion, while a bird happily chomped on a bug above his head.

So proud of that kid.

After promotion, I cleaned up my room and moved a bunch of shit. Then went to the end-of-year party, which my whole team didn’t go to (ugh). I didn’t feel well there either (heat? dehydration?)…drank lots of sparkling water and ate something. Then went to my stitching meeting…

These tails are time-consuming. But fun. Still felt like crap. Came home, didn’t eat dinner (ugh), and ironed for a while…

I actually need to use those same fabrics for a bunch of tree parts in the 1400s, and I didn’t have the energy to deal with that last night. Friday, I had to be up early and at the outpatient surgical center for injecting the radio transmitter thing that will help the surgeon on Monday find the lesion in my left breast. It was a lot of squishing. But relatively quick. I went straight to school after to check out, but realized I needed to move all the stuff in the prep room so they could do that floor as well. I wasn’t supposed to lift anything, but um, I did. Oh well. I wasn’t bleeding much so yeah.

They don’t tell you about all the marks that will be left…the biopsy mark is still there. Now there’s another one on the side. And a giant purple X where the radio thingie works. I’m sore today, but not too bad. I don’t know exactly where the scar will be or how big it will be, or whether there will be a dent forever or not. I don’t really care; strangely the marks freak me out more. They don’t really matter…what matters is whatever is in there needs to come out and it needs to be benign. The odds are on my side on that.

I needed a 2-hour nap yesterday after the procedure and checking out. I read one whole book, finished another one, and started a third. Mostly in waiting rooms. Had to take the dog to the vet too. So much waiting. This was in one of the books.

Interesting that the author said that about textile art. The author is Japanese and this is translated.

My zucchini plant is growing…

It’s finally gotten sunny during the day…here’s this morning…

I’m not a very serious vegetable gardener. But I do like to do it. I like to see things grow.

I’m currently watching a ceramics video in Spanish. I know, weird. I didn’t make it to ceramics yesterday; I’m going today. I’m allowed to hike and do pilates before surgery. After surgery, I need to wait a few days. No weightlifting. Which I did yesterday at school. It’s OK…I’m not doing it next week. Last night, we went and watched some friends play a one-off show.

This is them pretending to be Run DMC. It was a fun show, but I was exhausted and spacey afterwards. I went to bed without making art. Hopefully I can do some clay and fabric today without dealing with exhaustion. I have a hard time slowing down. I’ve already started moving furniture and stuff for carpet installation later. Not today…or if today, I’ll do the lighter stuff. Pack the quilts up. Pack up the tchotchkes. Not the heavy stuff. The boychild is working overtime the next two weeks, so he’s home less. Less help. It’s OK. I don’t have measurements yet; waiting on the carpet guy for that. Waiting on the glass installation. Waiting on the gutters. Waiting waiting waiting. As long as they aren’t here Monday. I’d like to recover from surgery without dealing with humans. Cranky. I am.

Anyway. I have 54 days…8 weeks. Minus a few days when I will have to do some planning. I’m not doing summer school. I’m not going to our summer academy to improve myself. I’m not taking any education-related classes or going to any education-related conferences. I am going to PIQF in July, I’m visiting my daughter in San Francisco, I might be camping (if the Man or I get our acts together), I’m definitely reading a million books, playing with clay, and making art quilts. Hopefully getting plenty of sleep (ha! but not Monday; because of the diabetes, I’m the first surgery of the day and have to be up at like 4:45 AM. UGH.). Right now, I need breakfast, more tea, a shower, some reading, still watching this video in Spanish (it’s a ceramic handbuilding conference online all weekend; it’s not ALL in Spanish), and trying to get my head around all the other shit I need to do. It usually takes 2 weeks before I feel OK again after school ends. And surgery isn’t going to help with that. Slow. Reading. Stitching.

I Might Say It Every Year…

OK. Two days. Two weird days. No teaching. Finally. No coming home and grading or lesson planning. That was nice. I stayed late on Monday and finished up the last of the grades, the sex-ed opt-out kid packets. Three kids didn’t turn them in, haven’t turned most of it in. Their attitude? They’re walking across the stage anyway…why do the work? Great attitudes. It’s OK. They’re not mine anymore. They’re going to high school. I get new problems. I already know about one of them, so that’s fun. But we get new ones every year…this will be the first year in a while that we don’t know anything about the kids coming up to us. I’ve had some of this year’s kids for three years…6th-grade art, then 7th-grade and 8th-grade science. Pros and cons to that. Realistically, if we request a kid NOT come to us next year, they’ll be going to our friends on the other team, so that seems shitty. Anyway. This kid, we’ve got no choice. I’ll worry about it later. Right now, I gotta get through the next few days, which are a little nuts. Too much shoved into the next 6 days.

I went to the ceramics studio on Monday. I had some leftover reclaimed clay from the sgraffito piece and the Man had requested some pots for his bog plants, so I used up almost all of what I had…

I am going to make the coil pot a little taller…I needed it to solidify a little. I’m probably going to do a little carving on them when I get to go in next…not entirely sure when that is. Not today…hopefully Friday? But maybe not. I don’t know. Saturday? They’re notoriously busy on Saturday. I don’t want to deal with a bunch of people. We’ll see. One of the tiles made it out of the glaze firing, but the other one is still on the rack.

Fabric choosing is still happening, super slowly.

Everything is just super complicated imagery that requires a lot of thought for just 10 or 20 pieces. Takes forever.

I’m in the 300s still. Got two figures done in the flesh; one still needs her clothing done. Kitten is my stalwart companion. Oh no, wait…I am in the 400s. More than halfway through them. Geez. I think the big figures will go faster…it takes the same amount of time to pick 5 or 6 fleshtones, but the pieces are bigger and there are more of them. So less choosing per number of pieces. That’s my theory anyway.

I am exhausted. I had to stop taking all my supplements, including the ones that help me sleep. Good week for that. Be real, though…the last week of school and two weeks after, it’s all recovery, sleep, etc. I remember last year that the Man was irritated by having to go to work in the morning as I went back to sleep. But the tables are turned now! I know he wants to go back to work and hopefully they’ll figure his back out or release the work restrictions so he can go back. But he doesn’t get to complain about my sleeping in.

Ah sigh. I wish that were true. This summer is chock full of shit I need to do. Starting with today. Keep cleaning my classroom. I got some done yesterday. I have a bunch of paper that needs recycling. I got my yardsticks back from the other science teacher, who is leaving. So we get to interview again. Fun times. We will be practicing promotion for at least two hours this morning. Then we get kids for maybe one period. I’m putting on a video. Then out to the carnival in the afternoon. We might actually have clouds all morning today and tomorrow. A girl can dream. Still need sunscreen and a hat, but it’s not as bad as the sun beating down on you. Pilates after school. Tomorrow, there’s a staff party but hardly anyone is going. My team is not. Sigh. Then I have a stitching meeting. Friday, we check out, but I have to have this radio transmitter thing injected into my boob for Monday’s surgery, so I’ll be late to school. Hopefully it won’t be too uncomfortable. We’re almost done. That’s a relief. It’s been a rough year. I probably said the same thing last year. I might say it every year.

Very Fine…

Hey. It’s the last Monday of this school year. We’ve got four days. Four days of utter chaos and mayhem, but four days nonetheless. I can do four days. I think. Actually, I do have to be there on Friday, but usually not for long. Weirdness is happening this year on Friday. Complicated.

ANYWAY. Today I teach STI prevention, although 1st period might be trickling in one kid at a time due to bad scheduling. Not mine. Tomorrow I teach goal setting, although again, 1st period might get screwed. Whatever. I wonder sometimes what non-teachers think we do after state testing. Because we have to do something or we have anarchy, and not in a good way. Wednesday is all promotion practice and carnival (hat and sunscreen), and Thursday is promotion (also hat and sunscreen). My grades are mostly done; I have 23 kids who are supposed to turn in two papers each today. We’ll see if they do. So I might just have to tweak their grades…but probably not. And I need to clean my classroom. Not entirely sure when that is happening. Normally it would be during my prep or while the kids were watching a movie, but with 8th grade, there’s less of both. I’ll probably get prep today, but maybe not Wednesday. Who knows.

So artwise, it might feel like I’m gearing up for summer enjoyment, and I am hoping to (a) get my sewing machine back this week and (b) to actually have more time to make art, but I also have a ton of house stuff to do…painting mostly. Moving stuff so we can install carpet. That’s overwhelming in itself. Claywise, I finally figured out which clear glaze I was gonna try on the tiles…

They’re going in the next glaze kiln…the second one, a kid had me sign their yearbook with a fingerprint drawing, and I had washed it off but only sort of, so when I went to rinse the tile, some of it came off in the background, so I ended up putting a wash over it. It needed the contrast anyway.

So we’ll see how they turn out. Then I did more underglazing on the winged woman…

Broke the damn snake head off again. I have a plan for fixing it…I think I just need to fire this thing and then move on.

Nice kitty.

The quilt in process (well, the third in process) is still being ironed to fabric…slowly. Friday night…

Still down in the grassy knoll. Then Saturday…

Got most of that done, and Sunday, I moved up the left side…

Didn’t quite finish ironing men’s white shirts (see Kitten asleep in the top left?). But I’ve made it into the 300s. I don’t think I’ll be done this week, but I might. We’ll see. It would be nice to be done before surgery so I could just sit on the couch, bingewatching something and cutting things out.

We hiked…

It’s still all about the flowers…

Ah cudweed…you make everything smell like maple syrup.

This is what grading looks like…

Thanks Nova. So much help.

This is what I think when all the rumors at the end of the school year are whirling around.

It’s not all about classroom management. There are some definite social and parental issues here. Sigh.

Probably not cannibalism. I’ll leave that to the rest of you.

I’m still working on Sue Spargo’s Homegrown…finally to the center square.

It’s coming along. There’s a lot of stitching on it. Well, supposed to be. Not so much at the moment. It felt weird yesterday actually having time to stitch and mop the kitchen floor (which was disgusting). I didn’t have to lesson plan or post a bunch of assignments. Kids don’t have computers after today unless they buy them (so again, wtf are we supposed to be doing with them?), so I can’t put any assignments on there. A relief really. No more of that for two months. Woohoo! Anyway. Close. Not there yet.

Had my brain scan on Saturday. Results sometime this week. That’s a bit stressful. What’s worse…they find something that explains the visual disturbances? Or they don’t find anything? Sigh. Probably the finding something is worse…so that’s a waiting game. Also I’m full of gadolinium now. I’m waiting for my super power to surface. I forgot drawing with dinner…

OK. School. Teach the things. Leave school and go play with clay. Come back, finish grades. Or finish grades, then clay? IDK. We’ll see. Then iron. No more grades after today. That’s fine. Very fine.

Fast at the End…

Whoa Nelly. It all goes fast at the end. Five days. Field trip today to Belmont Park. Grades due Tuesday. 23 sex-ed opt-out assignments get turned in Monday so I’ll have to grade those Monday afternoon. Room has to get ready for summer…thank goodness we don’t need to lock everything up because they aren’t using our rooms for fucking summer school. For once. But still, there’s a lot of moving that has to happen. I lose my prep today, so no time to do any of that. We come back from the field trip and just show movies…and hope for no ODs. I didn’t used to hope for that, because I didn’t expect to HAVE to, but now I hope for that. I often wonder what admin thinks of the last three weeks of school. Obviously they think we aren’t teaching anything, because they keep fucking with schedules, they tell us at the last minute that the kids will have no computers, etc. Like just whatever. Keep them in the classroom with nothing really to motivate them to do anything, then blame us for bad class management when these post-COVID kids with their permissive parents act up. Fuck that.

ANYWAY. I don’t have to teach today. That’s a plus. I’ll be patrolling bathrooms and hidden corners for the druggies. I might go on a roller coaster. Just one. Then come back, show a movie, and try to finish grading the piles on my floor and clean up a bit. Stand at the corner for duty and hope there isn’t a police-level fight like there was on Monday. Fun times. Then hopefully the surgeon will have figured out if I really need blood tests and how to put the damn orders in, so I can go BACK to the lab and have more blood drawn by an arrogant prick who literally blamed me for any bad draw in the last million years. I really did have fun yesterday afternoon. Then to ceramics! I got a glaze that should work on my sgraffito tiles, I’m hoping to get that crazy winged woman done, and then I can go back to the world figure I started ages ago and haven’t been able to work on because of other stuff.

I’m ironing, very slowly. It’s hard to pull my brain back from overwhelmed state long enough to manage it. Wednesday night was dirt and volcanic bits, plus bones…

Then last night was body bags. OK, that might have been part of the difficulty. I mean, no one wants to think about body bags, but the people in Gaza have been thinking about them way too much. And that problem still isn’t solved. Because humans and land and religion and power and politics and and and. Never a reason to kill children. Or anyone, for that matter.

Sigh. Well the pro is I don’t need any more blood drawn this week. He just messaged me. They might try to draw it the day of the surgery, when I haven’t drunk anything since I went to bed, so that’ll be fun for them. Not my problem. You know, last night, I went to the only pilates class I was able to get into this week and it was supposed to be an easy center and balance (and it was), but somehow I pulled a shoulder muscle and that doesn’t even seem fair. Everything hurts…but especially that. I can’t even think what I did to cause it. Some rainbow movement (pretend you’re a rainbow!). Sigh.

It’s going to take me a long time to iron everything to fabric for this quilt. It’s complicated and every complicated little bit requires thought, and I really don’t have a lot of spare brain power for that.

I appreciate this.

I also appreciate one girl’s drawing on her pregnancy packet…

Legit.

Found a barn owl feather in the yard.

They’re still out there. I hear them every night. No babes. Wah.

The Man is still enticing crows, now onto the deck. I guess he put the nuts away that were on the driveway because we had workers here, but the crow came and complained at him. So he put it on the deck. And now this ballsy rat is a fan.

Sigh. OK. I bought boxes so we can start boxing up books. To do the carpets in the hallway and all three bedrooms, we have to move all the things. I figure we box the books so the bookshelves can be easily moved. Get the girlchild’s room cleared out early. Move whatever we don’t need right now, stack it all in the living room as much as we can, so OMG I can’t believe how much house shit I need to do this summer. Please don’t ask me what exciting thing I’m doing this summer. The house stuff literally makes me wanna cry sometimes. This whole year. I’m just done. And it’s only June. OK. School. Gotta go in. Gotta go on this field trip. I love the nurse yesterday who’s like, “You have to take care of yourself too” and I’m like, “Welcome to teaching.” It’s an impossible balance. The plus is that it is Friday and the weekend is here, even though it’s a crazy busy weekend full of brain scan, grading, stained-glass window install (hopefully…because I don’t think everything is ready to go). I might get a hike and dinner out, but I’m not really in the mood for even that. It’s just easier than figuring anything else out. Yeah. School. Go. Go there. Do the things.

Last Minute

The number of reminders on my phone right now to remember to do all the things. A kid emailed me yesterday and asked which day I was grading things, and I answered ALL the days. I am getting close to done, though. Seven days. Seven days with one at Belmont Park on a field trip and one is graduation and one is graduation practice and a carnival. So actual teaching days? I have literacy stuff this morning, so half a day today, a whole day tomorrow, and two next week. But honestly, it’s not the teaching that’s the issue. It’s sex ed and that’s easy, although I’m not a fan of all of this curriculum and I wish I’d been able to give myself more time to teach it. I wrote a note in the calendar for next year. Because I don’t even remember what I did last year…the kids were telling me (the ones I had in 7th grade) and I’m like, big fat blank space where my brain was y’all. Sorry. I guess that’s a plus. Nah it’s all the adult crap…last-minute contracts for kids who don’t want to come to school any more, last-minute drop-a-new-kid-in-my-class…oh wait! No! He’s an opt out, but last minute, you have to add him to all the things and GRADE him, this kid who you will never see. And oh yeah, we’re gonna completely change the schedule at the last minute so you have to scramble to finish what’s already a tight finish. People are pissy. I’M pissy. I know I am. I sat in my room during prep yesterday after creating another last-minute thing and just tried not to cry. Because I’m overwhelmed. Texted my co-teacher who was at the zoo with my other work wife (they’ll be back in August…it’s OK) and they wanted to FaceTime me, but then I knew I’d cry. Sigh. Just need it to be done.

I watered my newly planted plants last night. It’s nice to see them grab hold of the dirt and start to grow on their own. I have more to plant…maybe Saturday. After my brain scan. Sounds delightful.

I am making art. I’m making lots of art. Just very slowly. I finally finished the sgraffito planter. Well…for some definition of ‘finished’.

I’m really happy with how it turned out. It’s fun. This is over 8 1/2 hours of creating so far though. So not fast. Maybe faster than a quilt? But now it has to dry, slowly, over a couple of weeks. Then bisque fire. Then decide if I’m going to put any glaze over it? Not sure. I have the two tiles still and I asked a bunch of questions on Monday of the more experienced potters, and got a name of a clear satin matte glaze that MIGHT work, but I’m going to try it out on the tiles first before I do anything to this one.

I almost forgot to do the eyebrow.

I love the hair.

Rainbows for Pride Month.

I’d do this type of thing again.

When I finished, I still had some time left before I needed to head for home. The winged woman piece has been drying for a while. I pulled her down at one point to fix some cracks. But I wasn’t sure how to glaze her. While I was in Maine, I would just let her percolate in my brain until I decided to do some underglazing first…

There will be more, but not a lot…

And then I’ll fire her, and then do an iron oxide after that. Hopefully she’ll survive the firing. That’s always the issue. If she didn’t, I’d probably try to build her again. It really is more about the process than the product for me. Don’t get me wrong…I love the product when it turns out, but the time spent building is what I like most. Same with quilts.

I’ve had this thing lying around since COVID.

Parts just need to be sewn down. Some more parts need to be added. I worked on it a little last night instead of grading.

Then I headed in for about 30 minutes of ironing. Hung up the HUGE drawing…

Made a video about it…practice for an Insta takeover I’m doing later this month.

Very rough and very squinty. Gotta work on that. Laid out the first 100 pieces…

Ironed the first few big ones…already pulling from the 100 and 200 bins. So logical numbering.

It’s a start. It’ll be browns tonight.

Here’s Simba on Monday night, very sleepy.

The owls are still here, they’re still going in and out of the owl box, which is a good sign that they haven’t given up on procreation. No baby sounds though.

Glad to see them still here. Late babies are fine by me. We’ve lost at least two that I know of. Sigh.

OK, to school for a meeting, then another meeting, then a free lunch (this is how they bribe us), then teaching in the afternoon, trying to get some of the packets recorded in the gradebook while they finish their stuff, then another meeting (at a restaurant with one drink and appetizers), and home to another meeting. WTF. So many meetings. Art in between. Book in between? Maybe. Maybe not. Yeah. I need the pillow fort.

Let’s Be Real…

Hey. Two more Mondays. Nine days. Panicking a bit about finishing grades on time, but with all the grading I did all weekend, I’m hoping I’m OK. I’m not taking any more late work, so that should help. One hopes. I still need sub plans for Wednesday morning, another literacy meeting that was incredibly poorly timed. Can’t have the swing sub teach sex ed, but I don’t have spare days, so I’m just gonna have to come up with magical things. The sex ed packets are too long for a normal period, and we have short classes today, so I’m gonna have to figure that out because they can’t do Wednesday’s thing without me if I can’t get through the two packets today and tomorrow. FUUCKKK. Not thinking about that. I’ll figure it out. By myself. Like all fucking year. We have a field trip Friday, and then we’re back for two periods…where I’ll be showing a video and hoping I don’t have another drug overdose in class because of the field trip. What are the odds? I mean, that would be USEFUL professional development. How to deal with overdoses, what to look for, what to do. Let’s be real here. I’m beyond cynical right now. One of the things we do with sex ed is a question box, and the first question I got in there, I had to call Child Protective Services. I was on hold from when I got to the ceramics studio on Friday, through 90 minutes of underglazing, the drive home, and 15 minutes at home with my book until they finally answered. Finished the report at 7 PM. And will anything happen? Well mine isn’t the first report, so there’s that. Disheartening. Extremely.

Ah well. Let’s start with the glazing…I’m almost done…

I did the reds, all the arteries, the heart, tongue, etc.

I also did the darker skin tones. I have a lot of clean up to do in the lines.

Fingernails…

And I started the hair. I got tired after about 90 minutes. I think I only have three colors left to do tonight. I knew CPS would pick up and I’d have to go outside and have this conversation, and I didn’t want to be that tired and still have to clean up after the conversation. So I didn’t finish Friday.

I graded Friday night, most of Saturday, and for about 5 hours on Sunday. Still not done! It’s all the fiddly last-minute redoes and late work that take for-freaking-ever to go through. The Man says I shouldn’t allow that, but I’m pro-growth-mindset. Learn from your mistakes. Figure out the right answers. I love the persistent kids. Well, some of them. Some of them don’t listen and keep submitting, even though they still haven’t read the comments or changed what they’re doing. And some use AI to help and it’s so freaking obvious…I mean, there’s not a lot of 8th graders at my school using the phrase “chronological constant”. I ran one through an AI detector just for fun. I mean, all I had to do was compare the first answer, which wasn’t bad, but was more kid-real language, to the second one, which read like a Wiki article. Sigh. I wrote both of them notes about the future. I doubt they’ll read them. Or listen. YES, I am in defeatist mode. Survival mode.

I also ironed things all weekend. Friday night, got to here.

Saturday night, all but the head…

Sunday night, did the head and ironed it to a background…

Hoping to see my sewing machine soon. We know a part arrived, but there was a medical emergency and we’re not sure if it got installed before that happened. It’s OK…I’m just going to start ironing the big quilt to fabric. I was ready to do that when I realized I had this one piled up too and it was easy enough to iron it together. Feels like a success. Progress. Looks nice. All that.

I had my quilt guild meeting Saturday…worked on her hair.

Slowest stitch ever. I also got a place to stay in Phoenix for QuiltCon 2025. Fun drive.

We hiked…

Babysat the ex’s dog again…

She’s constantly on the hunt. For animals.

It’s always nice to get outside in nature. I miss it. Want to do it more. Although apparently we discriminate against giraffes.

Doesn’t say if they must be leashed.

It’s not exactly a playdate because Simba is annoyed by her, but at least she gets some exercise and attention.

Saturday night, we tried some local breweries/wineries.

Just for something different. Felt bad for the band…there were only four people listening. Ouch.

And here’s where we’re at…

Although I definitely wasn’t smiling even that much.

OK, clay today, plus grading (you knew that was coming), plus starting to iron the next quilt to fabric. I’m tired. I’m done. Today I’m teaching pregnancy. The boys are notoriously stupid about this until I start talking about the financial responsibility of spilling sperm. Fun times.

To Get Me Through

Oh hello. Friday is here. I have very little of my voice…unfortunate, because the new sex ed curriculum is EVEN MORE talking than the old one. I’m depending on tea today, and hopefully I can find (and make work) my mic system. It’s fussy as shit, so I’m not confident it will work.

We have officially reached the time of the school year when you just do 10-hour days every day (10? Let’s see…left at 7:45 yesterday after sending three emails from home, probably started at 7 AM, and came home at 4:30 and then worked mostly until 9:30…yup) until you collapse and hopefully that’s graduation day. I’m not fully planned for next week. I need to grade three thousand things (that’s after grading a ton the last two nights). My house is a disaster. Fun times. I am going to the ceramics studio after school today. I went Tuesday, but just to make sure stuff wasn’t drying out. Tonight I’m going to do some underglazing on the sgraffito piece. Meditation. Before I come home and grade another three thousand things. Fun times. I keep saying that. I hate the end of the year. I really have not enjoyed this school year. I have a cart full of supplies from the other grade level who just dumped everything off, apparently for me to clean up and put away? I put away all the egg drop stuff yesterday. That was a fun thing though. We dropped 47 eggs and 7 survived.

Bethany did NOT survive.

I. Am. Overwhelmed. And the contractor and the stained-glass guy are both trying to schedule with me, and I’m like, y’all need to schedule with EACH OTHER. Leave me out. I can’t even answer the phone for 7 hours a day. Y’all are grown men. Figure it the fuck out.

Hopefully that works.

I’m ironing. It’s brainless at this point. That’s good, because so am I. Wednesday night…

Thursday night…

With Kitten hiding under the ironing board. IDK who the fuck numbered this thing (it was me), but the arm is on top and should be numbered after the torso (it’s not). So fussy. Who drew this thing (also me)??? I actually like it. It’s OK. I almost gave up when I got to the leaves though, and some of them need to overlap the heart, and it’s numbered higher, which it shouldn’t be. So I was obviously tired/out of it when I numbered it. Blame my school self for that. Suspect there’s another three nights of this…It’s actually pretty small. Still no sewing machine. I’m calling today. I know the part shipped. Insane.

The Man is still enticing crows.

And apparently other birds. OK. Teaching body image and decisionmaking today (ha! that last one.). Yesterday, we changed seats for sex ed. I let them pick one friend to sit with to help them feel comfortable, but these two boys (at two different tables) both were mouthing off about what SIDE of the table they needed to sit on, and I finally blew up, explained that they are constantly trying to interact with people across the room, so I made them face the other way so it would be incredibly uncomfortable for them to do so and obvious to me that they were doing it. I explained (rather loudly) that it was incredibly lame that I was having to babysit the behavior of kids going to high school in two months at that level, and if they kept arguing with me, they would be out. They shut up.

My patience is low, bottom of the barrel…with adults and children. Sorry. I’m doing my best. All the emails about how to redo things? Go look in your email. Stop asking me how to do it…it’s the same way we’ve been doing it all year. Follow the instructions I’ve said all year. In fact, if you were here last year, all three 7th-grade teachers, one of whom was me, also used the exact same instructions. Sigh. Double sigh. Fucking sigh.

OK. I’m walking dogs tomorrow at some point. I’m hopefully taking a break to go to my quilt guild meeting. I’m doing ceramics tonight. I’m ironing every night. I’m drinking chai tea because it makes me happy. I bought a piece of monkey bread from our student coffee store, to be delivered today during first period. A treat. To get me through.