Current Mental State

Today is Friday before nine days off from school. Will I still have to do school things? Fuck yeah. Will I have to be on campus? Or deal with kids? Or meetings? Fuck no. Win win. I even turned today’s video into one that they need to do on their own, with headphones on. Good reason for that, actually…there’s a bunch of kids who need to complete one or two academic assignments, and this keeps it quiet. You know who else gets some quiet? Or at least can help some of the super low babies? ME. Yup. Smart move, Thursday Night Nida. You anticipated my lost voice, my tired brain, my DONE mentality. Good one. Sigh.

Had to get up early today for a parent meeting. So I’m rolling more tired than usual. This is the second one this week too. Pros from this week: my TA (teacher’s aide) took apart ALL the roller coasters, so my counters are CLEAN again. Bless that child. She just knows how to do the things. She also put away all the magnet stuff. I pulled the last bit, magnetic fields, and did it as a demo for most classes, because some dumbass kid did this…

If you’ve never had to get iron filings off a magnet, you might not understand what an asshole maneuver this is. I do. I’ve done it before. I warned them and then one sweet dumbass did this. So I took them away. There was some “not fair” being called out. It isn’t fair; you’re right. But there is my sanity. Anyway, magnets are done…electricity and light after break. Eyeballs after Winter Break. I still do labs. Just frustrated at the moment. Welcome to middle school.

I’ve been sewing binding for days…

Nova has decided it’s ‘commune with Kathy’ time. Which is fine. It’s nice to have a cat next to me (although she’d prefer ON me) on the couch. I made it all the way around the binding last night and started on the sleeves.

Looks like the same picture. Certainly I’m back in my pajamas. Different sweatshirt though.

And she’s actually nibbling my arm and making very sharp, pointy biscuits in my leg.

I have officially poked a hole in my finger, AND I can’t find the sticky thimble things. I put them somewhere safe. Again. I looked everywhere.

Speaking of looking everywhere, I lost the spool of thread I was using for the handstitching on Wednesday night. Couldn’t find it anywhere. Looked in the couch, under it, under the coffee table, etc. Thursday night, I took everything off the couch (it’s my embroidery project storage area really) and couldn’t find it, until I pulled the quilt out…I had looked before, but there it was, slipped down into the sleeve. Fun times. I love spending an hour looking for something like that. It’s a sign of my current mental state. Soon to be better! More sleep, more time to just be, get some stuff done, start a new quilt (this one is going to the photographer tomorrow). All good. Take the time, relax. Read 17 books. You know. YES, I have to clean house for Thanksgiving and do all the sociable things I don’t feel like doing, plus dentist, doggie eye doctor, make a decision about pneumonia shot (I’m still sporting a rash from the COVID/flu shot extravaganza from last week). It’ll be fine. It’s time anyway, and that’s one thing I always need more of.

Put the Magnets Down…

Hey. It’s been a week. Yeah. It’s only Wednesday. It’s OK…there’s only three more days of school until I get nine days off…nine days I need…not just for my sanity and for rest and recovery, but also to get a shitload of work done so I can get my head above water for school, and also to do all those medical things that I can’t do during the school week. Or weekend. Dental, vaccines, dog needs eye surgery (fun times), etc. On top of all that, the Man was laid off yesterday…we knew it was coming, but were hoping it’d be after the holidays. Oh no. Let’s do it now. And my co-teacher is now officially out for the rest of the year…which I also knew was coming, but now that it’s official, and I realized I have 2/3 of the school year left, well…sigh. Yeah. I will figure it out, but I’m also already tired of it. I want to draw more. I don’t want to lug home a big bag of stuff to grade or spend 6 hours on Sundays prepping and grading or always be pulling my computer out after school, trying to get control of the assignments. It’s just been a constant slog since August 2020. And I know my team wants me to do training over the summer again, plus I’m probably going to have to pilot the new learning management system they’re already piloting, but that’s my brain being anxious about things that are 7 months in the future, and that’s just stupid. Deep breaths.

What’s today? More magnets. I swear, I had to say “PUT THE MAGNETS DOWN” about 17 thousand times yesterday, but today, we move the fuck on. Well, honestly, I’m debating in my head whether to flip tomorrow’s lab into today and just fully torture myself, then give them the academic assignment tomorrow. I was revising the week last night (after grading two classes of packets, after going to the dentist, after teaching all day, after a parent meeting, after a phone call with my doctor in the morning about how I need to eat more plants. And change my deodorant. And retire.) and I’m still not sure about what we’re doing today. It will be a seat-of-the-pants decision. So today it will be “PUT THE IRON FILINGS DOWN” instead, but hey, whatever. They’re learning. I think. Only one magnet broken so far (KNOCK ON FUCKING WOOD Y’ALL), compared to last year’s flurry of brokenness. What does one DO with broken magnets? I don’t know. If I glue them, will they hold? Will they still work? What does one do with magnets that no longer work? Yes, that’s a thing. Middle school kids suck the magnetism out of bar magnets.

OK. Well. So no decisions. The plus is that today is way mellower than yesterday. No parent meetings today. No dentist today. Pilates today. Some semblance of an assignment in my head. And the quilt is at that sweet almost done but very meditative stage where I just pull it onto my lap and start stitching (dark blue thread in the dark; always a good choice). I won’t finish tonight, but I will finish this week. Then hopefully to the photographer this weekend…that’s the plan anyway. Meanwhile, we have daily pictures of binding being sewn down.

Very exciting…

Dehairing is also in its future. I had a cat trying to burrow under it last night. I’m like, hey, no, the Supreme Court is not for cats to lie on (but then, maybe it is…maybe the next Supreme Court quilt has a giant cat lying on them so they can’t vote for stupid shit).

Yeah. Maybe. Last night I also did my active shooter training, because I hadn’t done it yet. Put it off.

If you’re wondering about being a teacher, there are regulations for armed assailant training now. There’s also going to be a re-enactment (I’m sure there’s a better word for that) over Winter Break I think? We got an email about volunteering for that. Yeah no. It’s bad enough that we do the drills with the kids. I’m not doing that shit for any reason.

Oh yeah. Well. OK, I should go to school and set up the lab stuff for the stuff I wasn’t going to do until tomorrow. Tomorrow’s self will appreciate it. And then find a filler, I think. I have one…I need another. And then do the things so I can go to Pilates and move my body and then come home and do more school stuff and then stitch some more. A day at a time. There’s a new quilt in my future, and that’s a good thing.

That Mindspace

OK. It’s Monday, but it’s a week until I get a week off. Yes, I just had a day off, and yes, I enjoyed the extra time before I had to buckle down and work for the day job. I need more of that. I’m a little in burnout mode right now. Trying to stay out of that…it won’t help me get through the rest of the year. Not sure what will, though. So can I do this 5 days? Um. Maybe. Seriously. Not sure how long all the things will take. I added new stuff this year to stuff I did last year, so there’s always this sense of not having a clue how long anything will take. But only half of it, because the other half is stuff I did do. Ugh. Anyway, we’re in magnets and at least there’s some hands-on stuff this week, but a bunch of stuff is up in the air, hope it works, or hope it doesn’t, or shift this because of that. So that’s not something I really enjoy. I like knowing what I’m doing and how long it will take. Yup.

Plus there’s like 4 parent meetings, but I can’t go to one of them, and one of the others, I need to get through a phone call visit with my doctor in time to go to that one, which I organized (it’s not how I meant it to be), so that’s fun. Double ugh.

Meanwhile, I did finish quilting on Saturday night…

Spent a few hours Friday night…

Finished the outlining with an hour or so on Saturday morning, then packed it up and went to buy binding, because the store is closed on Sunday. Then came back and started the background.

Saturday, I quilted for 5 hours.

I remember back in the old days, pre-COVID, when I could spend most of Saturday working on art stuff if I wanted to.

The only way I could pull it off this weekend was because I had Friday free too. Sad but true.

Then last night, I trimmed the quilt and started getting the binding and sleeves on.

I didn’t finish. I started at 9 PM (worked on school stuff from 2 PM until then, minus cooking and eating dinner). And then it was 10:40 and I needed to go to bed.

I still have one sleeve to put on plus all the hand stitching. I’ll be on the couch with that this week. Then I’m emailing the photographer. He’ll have a field day with this one. Then hopefully mail it off to its new owner. Although my quilt guild wants to see it…so we’ll see if the timing works on that for the next meeting.

Anyway. The next one is in my head. Not sure if I have time to finish it for that deadline, but we’ll see.

Meanwhile, I’ve been drawing in restaurants and forgetting to photograph any of it.

Sometimes it takes two nights out to finish a drawing. Not that one. They took a really long time to serve us.

I drew at the book signing while I was waiting. Shootings are apparently often on my brain.

Sad but true.

It’s the one time I get to draw at the moment. No other free time, really. I need to have a certain frame of mind to draw, and it’s harder to find that mindspace. If I’m home, I’m more likely to pick up my computer and try to get school stuff done. Because it’s ever present.

Friday, I spent time with my old veteran, replacing some lattice covers so I could plant something to cover them.

The old ones were 20 years old and broken, so these have another 20 years hopefully. I also got two vaccines, one of which is causing an allergic reaction on my arm…fun times. Then two MRIs (one for each knee!). It was a weird day. But some stuff got done, which is good.

OK. Well. Today is what it is. I go to work and keep teaching magnets, and hope the labs work out etc. And all the parent meetings this week go well. And I feel less burnt? Unlikely. That’s just the way this year is rolling. Ah well. Time to build some mental health days into my curriculum, eh? I think so.

Feels Different

Hey. It’s later than usual. It’s Friday and I’m not at work! And I’m not sick! And a veteran is coming over later to help me do some work around the house! That’s how you celebrate THIS veteran. Make him help you do work. Plus he has way better tools than I do. What other exciting things am I doing today? I’m getting three vaccines (like a nutball) and two MRIs. Yeah! Do not try this at home, y’all. I’m fully expecting them to tell me I can only have two of the vaccines. Three might be too many. Kitten has already drawn blood on my right hand (IDK what I did, but she didn’t like it). I braved nasty traffic last night to hang out with my stitching friends…got very little done on this…

I think some window sashing and 1 1/2 shutters, plus some running stitch. I’m impressed by the people who can stitch one of these in a year. I guess I have a lot of other stuff going on.

The literacy meeting on Wednesday allowed me to get some small things done, so that was good. It also netted me stickers.

I finished a good book last night, Shoot the Moon…it did not go the way I thought it would, which was delightful.

I finished that last night…came home after stitching group and just sat there for an hour and devoured the last half. I need more of that.

Then I quilted for an hour…because I knew I could sleep in this morning. So Wednesday’s quilting…I refused to work that night, so I did over an hour…

Got the torso done, and then started on the justices to the left (when upside down…when right side up, they are to the right, which makes more sense…not sure I planned that? But maybe I did).

In the longer time frame, I got through three justices that night…

Then did the other two last night…

My camera recognizes the faces as faces, which is weird. So now all I have left is the arms and head of the goddess and everything above her, PLUS all the background quilting. I’m at about 10 hours in…and I was figuring 15 or so? I think. And I still think that’s valid. There’s a lot of little fussy spaces to be filled. I’ve done some of it as I was outlining, but not all of it. So hopefully this weekend? I’m going to have to go buy binding tomorrow anyway, or I won’t get to until next weekend, which would suck. And it looks like I might be starting a new quilt over Thanksgiving, which is good, because I have two deadlines coming up, and one is coming very quickly. Yikes.

I’m so proud that I have finally been able to color in a unit packet cover page…so many of last year’s didn’t get done because two grade levels, and I never finished Unit 2 this year either.

My students say he looks lit. AKA stoned. I said it’s daylight savings week…he’s tired. Also asked them if they’d looked in mirrors lately. So yeah. Great.

Nova in the air biscuit competition. Still winning.

Will I have to work this weekend on school stuff? Of course I will. I’m also quilting and trying to install these lattice things to replace the old broken ones so I can plant a viney thing to grow up it and also clean some stuff and quilt…did I say quilt? Yeah. That. But today is kind of busy. My fault of course. It’s nice to have a day off though. Really nice. Feels so different than a regular weekend. Fully appreciating that.

Focus.

Hey yo. Going into Friday with an attempt at zen that will probably dissolve into wack. British spelling. Means something different than what I might do to a mole. Anyway. So that’s my brain falling into rabbit holes. FOCUS Nida. Focus.

As I’m grading all this last-minute crap, that’s what I’m constantly telling myself. Some of them are doing a great job; it’s a joy to regrade their work, note the improvement, tell them how awesome they are. But then a chunk are just rushing it, they’re still not getting it, they’re fixing as fast as possible and still doing a crap job. Frustrating. And those are the ones sending me emails begging me to change their grade, or asking me “does ANYONE get an A in your class?”. Yes dear, but today? Not you. Can that change? Sure. Keep working. If I’d had her last year, she’d be there, but of course, this is the year where you have to have a 4.0 and outstanding in behavior every fucking trimester to get on the stage at graduation. This is one of the things I hate about 8th grade. The begging and pleading. Just listen to the instructions, turn your brain on, and stop writing random stuff. And then there’s the one kid who is using AI. But I’m worried about her. But I’m not letting her get away with it. Sigh. Plus the kids who are still turning in late work and trying to resubmit stuff when the deadline is past. Way past.

I have one more major redo to grade, and then a whole host of little bits and pieces to check. Plus a quilt to pack for shipping. Plus a quilt guild meeting. I want to hike tomorrow. Sometime. Daylight savings is about to fuck us over, so do it now! Hike!

Let’s talk about quilting. Because I finally am. There’s a lot of detail on this thing, but I can look back at the cyberpunk piece, which was a similar size and detail, not as many pieces though, and it was 14 hours of quilting. I’m going to buy binding this weekend though. Not because I need to this week; I could probably push it to next weekend, but because the week has been shit and I need to reward my hard-ass work with some fabric. Don’t look at my stash as I say that. It’s not warranted. But it is necessary.

So Wednesday night, I finally got everything ironed and laid out on the floor…

It was pretty easy, no fussiness. Which is nice.

It took more than an hour to iron stuff and then lay it out, so I didn’t get to quilting until last night.

I started late, because I was still grading crap at 9:30 PM. Fun times. Came home and that’s all I did except make dinner in the middle of that 5-hour time frame. Also the girlchild was on FaceTime with me as she tried to find parking near a Day of the Dead celebration, which unfortunately for her parking situation, was right near her apartment. I don’t miss parking troubles, for sure. Anyway, that’s about 55 minutes of quilting done. One chapter of Ursula K. LeGuin on audiobook. I have a hard time concentrating on audiobooks. I might need to not read book-club books that way. I don’t really hold onto the info. I need to see the words. I’m done with Chapter 3 and I’m still not really sure why this person is on this other planet. Hopefully in the next 10 hours, it will make more sense. Or I’ll have to get the real book and try again.

So I’ll be quilting for the next week. In case you were wondering. I’m good with that. I have the next quilt pre-drawn in my head, which is good, because it’ll be like a 5- to 6-week turnaround. Yikes!

Here was my grading setup yesterday…

Laptop has assignment I’m checking. Candy corn post-its are lists of whose stuff has actually be resubmitted on the form (I ignore the rest; they randomly resubmit without changing anything and it drives me bonkers). Extra monitor has the rubric up for whatever I’m grading. Judgy cat butt is there for general excitement. She’s looking for geckos. To her left is my notebook, propped up on a drawer so (a) I can note any grade changes and (b) Nova can eventually knock it off when she panics about something and jumps off. I’ll be there again tonight and part of tomorrow probably. We’ll see.

Ugh. Here’s one of the four books I’m reading…this is Margaret Atwood in one of her essays/speeches.

Sigh. I never feel like I do enough for that.

School is getting me down. Last year, I was losing my mind about now over 8th grade, but the teacher on leave was coming back at the beginning of November, so I saw a light. Well he didn’t support until mid-February, gave me 6 weeks, and then bowed out. I’m not seeing a light this year, and I suspect last year kinda traumatized me (OK, more than kinda), so I’m just depressed about all of it this year. Put your head down and get it done. Not a fan. That said, here’s a bunch of paper roller coasters half done…

Amusingly, they are supposed to BE done today. We’ll see how that goes. I remember now that the lazy sit-on-your-butt and do-nothing kids drove me crazy during this project, so I’m glad I shortened it this year. They’ll get it done…or not. I’m OK with that. They can still do the academic part without the coaster done; they’ll just lose effort points.

Today. They build. I manage. They have a quiz. Ha! I grade tonight. I quilt tonight. At least I don’t have to wake up in the dark tomorrow morning. Pro. And I think I get to hang out with some friends tonight, briefly. That’s cool.

Find the Zen…

Ah. November. I see a few breaks coming up. This is a good thing. Deeply in need of no school, no pressure to have stuff done in 40 seconds flat, no racing around. There will still be grading, sure, but not like this, piecemeal, at the end of every day, all Saturday, during every class. I do need to find some zen, to find a way to take the overwhelmed feeling of all the work pressing down on me and whoosh it away. Shove it in a cupboard. Lock it the fuck up. Somehow. Haven’t figured it out yet. Certainly not today. I haven’t figured it out as of this moment. Unfortunate.

The quilt is on to the next step…I finished stitchdown on Monday night…

I’m always fascinated by the back of this…and then it disappears forever when I sandwich the quilt. So it’s only available for like a day, sometimes not even that.

Last night, I found a piece of batting big enough for this quilt in my already washed stash. Coolio. Because I thought I was going to have to wash and dry last night too, but no. I then found a piece of fabric that has been around for AGES…seriously, I bought it for baby quilts for babies who are now graduated from high school, or at least it’s that era. So 18 or so years old. But I had 4 yards of it. It’s super bright and colorful. It seemed to work. So I ironed it and pieced it and trimmed it…

Oh yeah. That’s the fun stuff. I still have a pretty big chunk of it for something. I’ve only ever used a small piece of it in a quilt. I don’t even remember which one, but there was a small corner chopped off. Find the fabric! It’s mind-boggling that I haven’t used it before now. It was waiting for this quilt.

In other news, The Way Out sold…so it’ll be shipping off to its new owner hopefully later this week (note to self, find boxes or buy boxes).

Last summer’s quilt…she was supposed to be much smaller, because I had a deadline, but in the end, the world made her have to be bigger. Yeah.

And now I can get the trees trimmed. And maybe pay the property taxes. What a concept.

Last night, while cooking dinner, I made a rough draft of the next unit. The table of contents anyway. And stuff on the calendar. I got through the first week of January. Which is 3 weeks longer than the other teacher wants to go. She wants to skip magnets. I did pull sound out, although she has a little of it, so I might put some back in. It feels better to at least have that. I don’t have everything done for next week, not even close, but I think I can get there in time. Hopefully. Not sure I can get it COPIED in time. Minor issue.

It’s funny, I saw this in the copier workroom…and had to put a correction…

But didn’t notice until today that “Usa” is also spelled wrong…well, unless you’re writing in Spanish. Ah well. I really do think teachers need to check their spelling. I mean, how can we expect kids to learn it if we don’t. Or if you know you have an issue with certain things, like my co-teacher, you tell the kids. And you’re constantly using spell check. My mom couldn’t spell spaghetti to save her life. And I have words I constantly have to look up. I can’t think of any of them right now though. Funny. Anyway. Yes, I’m a copyeditor on the side. It shows.

OK. Find the zen. Be chill. Teach how to fold a paper funnel for a roller coaster. Review kinetic energy. Grade 5th period’s unit packets. Maybe even grade 6th period (unlikely). Meet with 8th-grade science. Ignore that annoying kid today instead of trying to get him to work. His mom made him the way he is, as evidenced by her emails. You can’t fix that. She’s had 13 years on him and you’ve had 2 months. Never gonna beat that one. Ignore his whining. Then go to pilates. Then home and water some stuff, grade some stuff, then book club (I don’t even know what book we’re on), then pinbaste and start quilting. If you can. It’s OK. The shitty stuff is still there, but it’ll figure itself out…or not. I need more hikes. I need more outside. I need more time that doesn’t feel like I need to run or multitask or it won’t get done. I might need a different job, but that’s a bigger issue and probably not gonna be solved any time soon. I think I just need this job to be different and that’s a hard thing to make happen. Yeah. Oh shit, it’s the day after Halloween. Let’s talk about the candy in the classroom, y’all. Ugh.

Just Let Me…

It was a busy weekend. I managed tiny bits of artmaking, through stubbornness and refusal to sleep, really. I did a few things I wanted to do, not as many as I would have preferred, but I also worked a heinous number of hours for the day job. And that will continue all this week, because the next unit is not planned and it starts in a week and a half. Plus grades are due. So yeah. I’m hating it right now, really overwhelmed and not happy with any of it. If you see me, I probably need a hug and a donut…well, no one ever really NEEDS a donut…I probably need a hike more, but a donut takes less time. And time is something I don’t have enough of at the moment, nowhere close.

So…art first! Always. Even if that’s not what happens in real life. Friday night, after a book signing and dinner out, I managed an hour before bed…it was late, but I did it anyway.

Up in the heads and robes.

Saturday night, it was really late, after the Man’s show. Stayed up too late again…but got another 50 minutes in.

More heads. And last night, after working a million hours and cooking dinner and watering all the plants, I managed another 50 minutes.

Heads are done…I’m doing the goddess’ arms and the things above her.

This is the only time you get to see the back…

It’s kinda creepy.

Anyway, there’s not much left. I’m at 7 hours and 24 minutes. I think I might have more than 36 minutes to go? But I’m not positive. Maybe tonight? I’d like to be pinbasted and quilting this week. That’s my goal. Harder to find the time to get pinbasted though. Need to wash the batting, piece a backing, lay it all out, and then finally pin. Sounds like a lot for a work night when I’m buried.

Friday was a field trip with school to Old Town.

It’s not my favorite field trip…that would be the zoo…but it’s nice to be outside. My group was OK…some infighting occurred, which I knew would happen, because I had the kid who causes those things. Could’ve done without that. That said, we came back and mostly the kids either slept, gamed, watched the movie, or built their roller coasters while I graded. Useful. I’ll be doing lots of that this week…and planning.

Old Town was decorated for Day of the Dead, which was cool.

We do a scavenger hunt, which is nice, because we have a purpose, unlike most of the time.

That night, we ventured out to a book signing (not sure I’ve ever done one of those)…Stephan Pastis, author of Pearls Before Swine (and other things) was here in San Diego and I went to high school with him.

Here’s the actual moment when I told him we went to high school together…

It’s OK, Steph…I don’t recognize the kid you were in high school in your adult face either, except sometimes when you talk. We were on cross country together, with my brother and others, but he was the grade between us. So yeah. Fun stuff though. We ate dinner in a total dive bar, but the food is always good, isn’t it? Not sure why.

Saturday was a clusterfuck of work work work, in between an art meeting at the Lakeside Library, which had art by Bhavna Mehta…her paper work translated into metal.

Pretty cool stuff.

And then at night, the Man’s band had a show at a tiny place that blew out my eardrums and gave me a sore throat from the smoke machine (ugh). It was a good thing to dance and be sweaty for a few hours’ break though. I needed that.

Up late.

So all in all a busy weekend. I’m looking forward to a nice quiet weekend at some point. Not sure when that can be slotted in. Probably never.

So the kids are building roller coasters all week. I need to plan one thing for this week, hopefully today so I have time to copy it. But otherwise, after I demo one thing a day to build, maybe two, I’m hoping I can just finish grading and then start planning the next unit. If it works. Don’t take my prep period, don’t add any more shit to the pile of things to do (insert snotty comments about people who don’t understand email accounts), just let me get the things done. That’s what I need. And then maybe I can get this quilt pinbasted and back under the machine. Hoping.

Too Far Out…

Yeah. Friday. Friday with a field trip: pros and cons. Pro: a day off (well half a day) from teaching. Con: I’m already tired and it’s a walking trip. They’re all walking trips, though, so that’s nothing new. It’s Old Town decorated for Halloween, so hopefully that’s cool. We’ll see. Hopefully some people are absent today and a bunch go home right after the field trip…except there’s a dance, so hmm. I went to all the dances in middle school. They were awkward. Nothing is new for that, I think.

So I’m still doing stitchdown. I’m 5 1/2 hours in. I still think my 8-hour guess is good. Wednesday, I had finished those pedestals and the legs up to the knees, plus everyone under the umbrella.

Last night, I finished the legs, the Supreme Court building, and the umbrella, and had barely started the justices on the left (all of their shoes and ankles are done).

So I need to do the justices, the Earth Goddess from the torso up, and everything on her arms. Sounds like 3 hours (at least) to me. I was hoping to be further along. I’m not sure I’ll get anything done tonight. Tomorrow is kind of a mess…art meeting plopped right in the middle of the day plus a shit-ton of grading to do. Ugh. I’m really hoping to get it done this weekend. I wanted to be pinbasting Sunday. It might still happen, but a lot of other things would have to disappear for that to happen. Unfortunately. I’m also panicking about school…I haven’t really planned the next unit. It’s rough. I’m trying to fix some stuff from last year. I’m trying to incorporate stuff from the newbie, but it’s disparate and I need an overarching story or idea and I don’t have one. Ugh. I think I won’t ever get 8th grade under control. I have this year, which is not going to be the year it all makes sense, then next year, and then I go back to 7th grade. Which does make sense. And will probably feel like a relief after this shit. Seriously. At least I know what I’m doing in 7th grade and can do it without any assist. Things to look forward to? Too far out. Doesn’t get me through the next week. Ha.

I think I posted this last year…

Still relevant. First trimester ends in a week. One third done. Two thirds left to kick my tired ass.

Here’s a video of the California Fibers’ show in Los Angeles…

I did not drive up for this meeting…it was a Sunday and it would have been an 8- to 9-hour turnaround. Talk about not having time for any of that shit. They’re doing a closing reception kind of thing in December. Not. I’m not driving up there. Too far. Too long. I don’t have that many hours to disappear to driving. Not unless someone else is driving and I’m grading or lesson planning the whole time. Not happening.

This week. The shit in Maine? More deaths because a whole state wants to carry guns without permits? I have family sheltering/locking down in Maine. This is fucked up. I keep updating the news sites, honestly hoping the mentally ill asshole with guns has killed himself. Sad but true. Meanwhile, Israel/Gaza/Hamas…we are the worst at humanity, y’all. We just suck. Take care of people. Help people. Care for people. Don’t kidnap them, kill them, bomb them, shoot them, stab them, or terrorize them. Sigh. I know, it’s simplifying a very complex issue, but that’s where I’m at. I can’t begin to understand all the sides (and I have friends on all the sides), but I can care for those who are being traumatized. On all sides.

So yeah. Meanwhile, in the US, Scholastic Book Fairs are back on my OK list after a brief WTF.

Let parents choose, not school districts. Because we’re talking about bringing these back at my school, or some equivalent. And I don’t want my school board to have any say in the books my students choose.

I actually got (forced) some stitching time last night that was not under pressure…

I love how crooked it is. It’s wonderful. Yeah, I should have been grading, but I was on Zoom with stitching friends, so I couldn’t grade and chat. I could barely stitch (needed to read instructions out loud, my brain was so fried). So it was a good break from all the things. Yes, I graded afterwards. Duh.

An uneasy truce.

Luna is saying, “Why the fuck did you put that dog on my bed?” I’m thinking, “Where the fuck do I go?” It worked out. Everyone furry ends up in the middle, sometimes uncomfortably. Last night, Simba was quiet. So that was good.

OK, field trip, survive last two periods of day by putting on a movie and trying to grade shit. Then duty at the light (no fights today…there’s a dance…priorities). Then going to a book signing tonight, I hope. Then home and maybe some stitching, if I can sit up that long. Tomorrow is a mess. Ah well. Survive it, get shit done, etc.

Rewind…

So I feel like I blinked an eye and October slid past. Weird. It’s usually one of the longer months of the year for school, but no, our field trip and Halloween are looming on the horizon, with the end of Trimester 1 (and grades due. Grades are always due.). November is easier; December has its ups and downs. Well, November is only through Thanksgiving. That last week is really part of December (ask a teacher; they’ll agree). I have not adjusted this year to anything, even the overwork. I cried on the way home yesterday, not for anything in particular, just feeling like lots of little tiny things that needed doing would eventually bury me. Managing other people’s shit. I could do without that. That is this year though. Lots of that. I came home and put together roller coaster groups for today…there are some definite issues that I can’t fix with those. Ah well. ‘Tis always the case. There’s always one kid that every group wants and one that no one wants. Then I went to the gym. So I could read a book and not think about school. Not so successful with school texting me, but whatever.

Giant ass sigh. The pro is that it’s very easy to get up off the couch (after working some more after dinner on school stuff) and come in here and do stitchdown. It’s meditative. I’m listening to a book, which is not always a successful endeavor for me…I tend to space out and then wonder what the fuck the reader is talking about. I wonder if I would like this book better if I were reading it myself. It has some good things, but some things are just not as good. It’s John Scalzi, Starter Villain, read by Wil Wheaton. You’d think those would all be good things. I’m not sure. I got a year’s subscription to Audible just for this purpose, quilting and stitchdown entertainment. But I do have a hard time listening to words. I have to rewind. Rewind? I am old. Anyway, I’ve managed about an hour a night…here’s Monday…

And Tuesday…

Everything under the umbrella is done, plus the goddess’ legs up to the knees, plus the swamp and cloud going into the swamp fires. So I suspect I’m doing pedestals next on the right. Three hours in. I suspect it will be 8 total. Ish. I only have 4 hours left of the book I’m listening to. There will be another, I suspect.

Got this (and a check) for the anti-anti-abortionist quilt…

Nice. Appreciate the vote of confidence. That piece deserves it.

I just washed all those, Kitten. After you threw up on them.

Sigh. This cat. She keeps eating bits of leaves and pine needles and then vomiting them all over the house. I cleaned one set of floors; I need the Man to do the other. Double sigh. He has a show this weekend, so that won’t happen. And the boychild has reneged on any household duties except his own room and bathroom. Ugh.

I woke up to a really weird unsettling dream this morning. I didn’t like it. It’s still hanging around my shoulders and I still don’t like it. Thanks brain. Appreciate those moments. Perhaps you could be more supportive? Oh yeah, this is you being supportive. Eh.

Then last night, while I’m trying to grade using all those papers, Nova just plopped in the middle of all of them.

It’s unlike her…but she kept trying for my lap and that wasn’t an option, so I guess everything else I needed was. That irritated look is because I just pulled half of them out from under her.

That project grades really slow. Not a fan. Trying to decide how to modify for next year.

OK. Today. Some parts of today will just be hard…it’s a lot. We’re starting roller coasters (built out of paper). Tomorrow will be more chill, but today is a little chaotic. I have way too many adults coming in and out of my classes for observations. The field trip is not fully planned, although I think I am fucking done with my part (and next time, y’all can do it, even if you don’t have all the kids. OK. I’ll probably change my mind about that. Maybe). I have pilates today and potentially four errands after that. Which is a lot. I might move one to tomorrow. It would be easier. Pro? I get to stitch later. While listening to a book. That I will partially ignore. Yeah!

It’s Totally Me…

You know, I was never a good sleeper, even as a kid…I remember lying awake as the dark turned to light. Last night was no different. By the end of the week, I’ll be exhausted, so I’ll fall asleep quicker (knock on wood). Also the dog won’t be in the bed…he is part of the issue sometimes. Then again, so is the cat and the Man, and last week, he was gone hiking, and I still couldn’t fall asleep. That was the heat. Right? It’s not me, right? Oh, it’s totally me.

I had three art group meetings this weekend, two on Zoom. I’m glad to be in these groups…they bring exhibit opportunities and peopling opportunities, however much I suck at those. One group is talking about moving meetings from North County San Diego to Orange County…sheesh, it’s already an hour’s drive, more if I go to a friend’s house to drive with her and others…add another 45 minutes to an hour. Ugh. Lost day. This job makes it hard to lose a day. I graded Saturday morning before the first meeting…it was in person out in Ramona. Every jerk on the road was going to Ramona. But it was cool to see the art in person for potential new members. Fiber, craft, they all look better in person.

It was warm, though. I tried to argue for a fiber person on the image jury, but I got sort of shot down. Hmm. We are the minority in this group, for sure.

I had to bounce out of one of the art group Zooms early to go grocery shopping, but the other one was kind of cool. I did work through it. Day job never ends. SAQA So Ca/NV has had a hard time keeping a consistent group going for years. It’s frustrating. There are so many quilt artists in the area that it just seems silly that regular meetings aren’t happening. I tried pre-COVID and it was a stretch to get three other women to show up. The Zooms are another option, although 50% of them will be during the workday, so that’s out for me. Ah well.

In current quilt news, Friday night, I put the drapes behind the justices and ironed the whole thing down…

Big and complicated. She’s actually not that big. I think it’s 67″ h x 54″ w. Something like that. Anyway, next up is stitchdown. I had a plan to start Saturday but that got stymied by a last-minute invite to a Halloween thing. So we went…

We hung out with the Man’s fam and ate free food and drank free alcohol, including a whiskey room (I did not partake) with fancy bottles (you just pick by bottle shape, yeah?).

We found this friend, who apparently doesn’t belong here…

Traveled on a boat to get here? Or maybe momma did. Or grandmomma. It’s silly to think bugs stay where they’re supposed to if humans don’t.

We won absolutely none of the prizes or opportunity things. It was fun, though…a different way to spend the evening for once. Hence no stitching. I think we got home around 10 and it was too late (and I was too tired) to start. So last night, I started…

Deep in the swamp. I figure it’ll be at least 8 hours of this, so all week. Maybe more. There’s stuff this weekend again, yet another art meeting, possible book signing, the Man has a show, and grades are coming up, so I’m panicking a bit about getting all that done in time. But I’m trying for this week to be done, pinbasting by the end of the weekend? We’ll see.

Cats get to sleep so much.

So jealous.

OK, head down, get everything done. I have a quilt errand after school (not my quilt. Just an assist.) and then grading. Grading every night, I think. Not gonna get done magically unfortunately. Planning too. That’s a thing. And I need supplies. So many things on the to-do list. I finally replaced the blown lightbulb in the bathroom…it only took 6 days. It wasn’t horrible to take showers in the semi-dark. I cleaned floors, but not the shower…it needs it. Cleaning really does fall by the wayside. Sigh.

OK. School. Meetings. Errand. Grading. Art.