Meditation by Numbers…

OK, my art brain finally kicked in a little stronger. Not sure why? But I appreciate. Monday after school, I went to the ceramics studio and made a base and the start of the next piece. I really wish I had my sewing machine so I could start the fabric bits of the ceramics that are done, and I wish I had the brain power to figure out how to glaze the bisqued piece (too many decisions), but for now, I just wanted to start something new. I had an idea and there was a bowl in the studio to help me out, so now I have this…

A possibly much sturdier base than the previous one. I hope.

Then I started this…

Needs work…

Also needs to stay under 17″ so it fits on the shelf. Also has paper towel wadding to hold the butt up (it started to sag). So we’ll see how that worked on Friday, when I have time to go back.

Meanwhile, parts of the drawing were slowing me down…the one side on the left, for reproductive rights, and the bottom, under the women’s feet. I did add body bags to the right.

Monday night, I added the crouching woman with the man pointing at her, then last night, the rest popped in.

Thinking of women dying because they’re denied basic healthcare related to pregnancy, thinking of unwanted children or children born into families that can’t afford them because they had no choice, thinking about men who spill their sperm and are never held to the same standard as pregnant women, never have to be responsible. Society places all of that blame on the female. So yeah. I guess I channeled some of that anger. Then the base wanted a magma chamber underneath it all. Seems fair.

Here’s the whole thing…

The drawing is 42″ x 70″. Not small. Good though. I’m happy with it. Good thing because I’ll be working on it for the next three months probably. Time to draw it? Well the original drawing of the women was about 90 minutes to 2 hours (I don’t keep track ALL the time), and then drawing full size, which I do keep track of, was 6 hours and 12 minutes. Not bad. Lots of staring at blank paper though. Looking forward to making it. I’ll number tonight…hopefully.

I love when these things pop open. They’re so weird looking.

Nature is whack.

The book I started reading last night (that almost kept me from going to bed) had this great Author’s Note at the beginning…

I love that. I just need to know she’s gonna be OK.

Speaking of being OK, I have an eye doc appointment next week for the weird swirling black hole universe I see in the dark. They keep warning me about flashes of light and going to the ER (ah, retina detachment), but the last doc didn’t know what it was…he couldn’t see any evidence of what I was seeing (good? or?). So I got leveled up…to a 3-hour appointment. Woo hoo! Another morning off school. Ugh. Tomorrow is the boob surgeon. Next week, eye. Or is it eyes? I don’t really know. It seems to be the right eye, but I’m not sure it’s not my brain. So there’s that.

All fun times. Today? Teaching embryology (fun) and comparative body structures (also fun unless you have the kneejerk creationist class) who just refuse to see any of it. Whatever. I’m not in charge of you people. I’m doing my best to show you the things. And next week, with the doctor appointment and some picture thing the 8th graders have to do, I’m not sure where to put the lab I was gonna do. Ah well. Things will happen when they happen. It’ll be fine. Then pilates after school and book club (not sure which book, but pretty sure I read it). Then numbering that beast. I’m guessing 2000 pieces. And I’m OK with that. Meditation by numbers.

Morning

Good morning. Or morning, as I prefer. I mean, maybe if I looked out my window and saw endless forest vistas and no humans, maybe that would count as a good morning, especially if I could roll over and go back to sleep, but that’s not really a common occurrence for me. Unfortunately. There are 43 days of school left. I did not accomplish much of anything this weekend except spending time with visiting family, which is a good thing…so there’s that. But I have no lunches prepared for school for this week (yet), I forgot to defrost my breakfasts so I’m eating cereal (at least I have that), I graded one assignment and posted one assignment, no two (it’s fine; I can do it during class), and I planned nothing for next week. That worries me a bit, but I’ll just have to work more during the week to get there. I also lost my mat cutter somewhere in the house, and I need to cut two mats. I don’t want to buy another new one. I know how to cut mats without it, but it’s a pain. So there’s that.

So WTF did I do? The Man’s band (Radio Thieves) had a show on Friday night…they opened, so I was home by 11 (good thing really…I was exhausted)…

I did not go to bed right away, though, because that would make too much sense. I taped more of the drawing together and added paper to the top and bottom for more drawing.

Went to bed way too late, then got up way too early (for my weekend brain) for the online SAQA conference. I did the morning coffee meetups, then took a shower, drove to the ceramics studio, and listened to all the webinars…well, in between people trying to talk to me. I did put a neck on the head and forgot to photograph it (I’m really bad at remembering to photograph things there)…then added grass to the bottom of the planter.

This was going to be a mug until I realized how big it would be.

All my home mugs have cracks in them right now. I’m waiting for them to leak. So far, so good. But I wanted to make a mug of my own. And since I don’t throw on the wheel, handbuilt is how it’s gonna be. I’ll get there. But this is a planter.

After ceramics, I putzed around the house a bit, trying to get my brain to function, then headed over to my parents’ because my brother, my SIL, and one of my nephews were in town to visit colleges, and we were gonna hang out. Which is what we did…both Saturday night, and then Sunday night, with a hike on Sunday afternoon as well. Lots of family fun and arguments about nipples. Don’t even ask.

Saturday night, after we came back, I finished the binding and sleeves on this…

It just needs a label and hanging slats and it’s ready for delivery on Saturday…but I need to frame the drawing; hence the need to cut the mat, so that’s a thing to figure out this week.

Here’s one hike picture…

And one nephew picture, with Simba…

Last night, we got home later and there was no art happening. There wasn’t much of anything happening except folding my laundry. So there’s a hefty to-do list this week, but it was worth it. Not sure how Kitten feels about it.

Yeah. I feel that way this morning too. Fill up the teacup a little more.

This sucks. I’m glad I was able to see some of her work in person in Los Angeles last year.

Her work was some of the first quilt work I saw that wasn’t traditionally pieced and seemed to tell a story. She was an amazing storyteller. The world will miss her insights.

Leaving you with this…

Am I the only one who wants to know what’s under that black rectangle? There are a lot of pictures of emotional support sharks on the internet. Who knew?

OK. School…kids are finishing up an assignment from last week that does not require a lot of my input, except for all the kids who were absent half of last week for Eid and other excuses, so yeah, that’s fun. I can hopefully plan some space stuff for next week (if the other teacher answers me) and post things for the rest of this week, plus write sub plans to be out half a day for literacy on Friday. Fun times. Then a staff meeting about state testing and hopefully ceramics studio time, plus yardwork, making lunches for the rest of the week (it would be nice to have something besides random food I found in the freezer), starting to iron that one quilt together or drawing the next big one. The sewing machine is awaiting parts with no estimate of when they will arrive. Frustrating, but I will survive. No, I don’t want to borrow other people’s machines. I hate trying to sew on other people’s machines. I will just do other things until I get mine back. Thank you. I’m so tired, y’all…I guess this is how we do the next 43 school days.

A Hole in the Middle

Hey. Am I glad it’s Friday? Fuck yeah. This week has been a mother. Not the good kind who takes care of you. The other kind. One more day of school…well, 44 more days of school. Had a third of my kids out yesterday, more like half on Wednesday. And yet we teach on! We’re so close to state testing that we can’t just stop. Since the start and stop of Ramadan are dependent on the sightings of crescent moons, some kids didn’t know when it would start (they should watch the news!). And some came back yesterday…but some said they wouldn’t be back until Monday. And then the other kids seem to be out in sympathy with them? Or? Whatever. Most of this week’s school stress has been adult-related or program-related or organizational-related. This whole year has basically been that. The kids are not horrible…they’re not great sometimes. There’s a lot of apathy that drives us nuts, but there’s no constant bad behaviors that make the days horrible, like last year. So that’s good. It’s just a lot of other stuff: do this, do that, now do this. Ugh. I don’t have time to do all the things.

Anyway, today they are working on a natural selection comic, which is pretty chill, so I can like grade homework or plan space…I should plan space. I’m teaching that a week away. I need to figure that shit out.

So exhaustion. Too many late-night wake-ups, not going to bed early enough. This morning’s blood sugar was high…because I was dreaming? I don’t quite remember what I was dreaming, but it was stressful. Environmentally stressful.

Keep making things. That’s my plan. So I had enlarged a drawing I did before. I had some ideas for a crone quilt, but these women are too young, but that’s OK. I think I can make it work like I want. I don’t like the middle head, so I’ll need to fix that. Anyway, Wednesday night, after pilates and working on school stuff, I started taping this thing together…

I did not finish. There’s a hole in the middle. There’s more legs. It’s going to be big. I’m OK with that.

I also started the handstitching on the binding last night…

I should be able to finish this over the weekend. The Man has a show tonight and my brother and part of his family are in town, but since I need to deliver this next weekend, it needs to be done. Also I need to find some decent matboard in my stash to frame the drawing that will hang with it. Ugh. Time.

Absolutely no clay has been touched since Monday. I was hoping for today, but I have to take two animals to the vet after school for regular tests/etc so they will continue to give us meds.

Luna looks like she’s about to attack Simba, and Simba looks like he knows it. The boychild is working part of the week, so Simba gets to sleep with us. He’s been pretty good.

I did have my stitching meeting last night, so I got this mostly done, except for the flowers…

Check out the book Kitten’s reading.

It’s a very visual way to figure out what things in nature are. I read through a bunch of it Wednesday night when I couldn’t deal with life. It’s always amazing how little we know. Fascinating stuff though.

OK. Watch them draw today, encourage them to be done drawing. Finish planning. Do the other things that need doing. Take animals to the vet, figure out dinner, then go watch the Man’s show, which thank goodness, is early. Then sleep, beautiful sleep. Or maybe stitch for a bit first. Then get a million things done this weekend. No problem.

The Now Feeling

Happy Eid! If you celebrate it. I have a chunk of kids who will be out for the next three days. Unfortunately, I can’t quit teaching for those days, so I’ll need to record some videos at some point to explain what they’re missing. Because it’s a lot of my high-level students. I’m not sure WHEN I’m going to record those videos because my to-do list for school hit epic proportions yesterday. EPIC. Ugh. I drove home in a daze, on the verge of tears just because I didn’t know what to do or ask next, so many threads to an uncontrollable ball. So I came home, had a snack, read my book for a bit, and called my mom to ask if I could come borrow her sewing machine. I hate sewing on unfamiliar machines…it takes longer to learn it than I want to spend…especially when I know this step shouldn’t take long. Mom’s isn’t the same as mine exactly…it’s the fancier version, two releases past mine, so it’s close enough. I quilted…

Lots of tiny things. I finished quilting in a little over an hour…

Then I trimmed it and put the binding on. I usually zigzag the edges after putting the binding on, but it would have meant replacing the plate, and I couldn’t find the zigzag plate, and I was tired and it was 8 PM and I hadn’t eaten and the day was a shitshow (well, not teaching…it was fine, successful even, but the adult crap just sucks), so I didn’t zigzag (don’t tell…I’m sure it’s fine and that’s some Type A shit I do sometimes when I sew and the quilt will be fine). I went home, started dinner, honestly I should have just reheated leftovers, but I didn’t eat that artichoke last week, and they go bad, and I love artichokes so I cooked it. Nova guarded the quilt…

I pinned it before I went to bed and will sew it starting tonight…

Progress! It has to be delivered next weekend, so it needed to get done.

Monday was the eclipse. I stole two pairs of glasses from the boychild because I forgot to buy them at the store, and pulled two of my classes out to see…

Some of the kids were like, oh, ho hum, and some of them were like WHOA. So that was good. I told them I’d meet them here for the next one in 2044. That seemed to jolt them a bit.

After the 2-hour staff meeting on Monday, where we had to be able to concentrate and read and take a test (not MY brain in the afternoon), I went to the ceramics studio for 90 minutes and made a head.

The chin is an issue, and I haven’t dealt with the top and the lips need some help, but this clay isn’t groggy enough for me to do much. I need to let it solidify a bit. There’s paper towels inside and I built a little cradle so it could harden up in a round shape. We’ll see how that goes, because I can’t go back until probably Saturday. Ugh. It’s too tall for my shelf now, so once I put the head on, it needs to be ready to go to the drying shelf. Which is crowded at the moment. It’s fine.

Monday, I also finished cutting these out.

I sorted them too…

So that one’s ready to iron together. Then I need a machine. I’m not used to having so many in-process things at once. My brain is not happy. I also need to start a new big one and I’m waiting to hear about possibly needing to make another one…I think some people don’t realize how long it takes to make my stuff. Especially when I’m teaching. And having surgery. And work on my house. And and and. Well, making clay too.

Anyway. Today. Gotta get things done. I’ll be binding tonight. I already know that. So that’s progress and it will feel good when it’s done. I like to check boxes. It makes me feel less like a chicken running around with their head cut off. Which is very much the now feeling.

I Blinked

OK, I’m pretty sure I blinked and the weekend was gone. I know I did things because the bathroom and kitchen floor are finally clean and there’s dead leaves in my hair and clean clothes in the laundry basket, but I honestly don’t remember much of it. Just took a deep breath in and it was over. What are the odds the school week will go so fast?

Five days until Spring Break. I have no clue what I’m teaching Friday (and I’ll have a sub for half of it due to pretty shitty literacy planning), so hopefully that will come to me in a dream or something. It’s actually more about not knowing how long this stuff will take to teach more than being totally clueless. I’m juggling a variety of things in my teacher brain, but I need to know how much time I have. I also need to write sub plans. All of that might be happening Thursday night, which I hate, but when you’ve never taught these lessons, it’s a crapshoot. Plus the kids are amazingly tuned out to grades and work completion at the moment, so sometimes I just walk around and look at the kids who are working and compare the kids who are fast to the kids who are super slow but still work, and kind of pick a place in the middle. The lazy kids who do nothing are not part of that equation. It’s not ideal, but it’s where we’re at. Hopefully some of their brains will turn back on after Spring Break (not expecting it really) and we’ll see some progress again. Ha! I’m not really counting on it.

Meanwhile, I did do some art this weekend…some more ironing…

I got the bugs done and the bird…

And the sun. And then ironed everything onto a background…

Looks good. That’s one of my hand-dyes…where I slop up all the leftovers with a piece of fabric. Works. So tonight, I’ll be doing stitchdown.

My ceramics studio posts a video when stuff comes out of the kiln…some of my first class pieces are in there!

Mine are all the weird non-cactus shapes. I made a bunch the first time. I think one of the coil pots might be mine? Can’t remember. Need to go back and look at my photos. I joined the studio last week, ordered my first clay yesterday, and have been writing down all the things I want to make, some of which are very utilitarian, like plant pots and a mug and a number sign for the house since my cheap plastic one is fading. But also, I’m making a list of art things I want to try. This is cool. I’m looking forward to spending some time there making new things.

I did read a book and a half on Saturday, started a third on Sunday…actually, no, started it Saturday night while waiting for the Man’s band to start playing. I might be hiding in fiction, y’all.

Beautiful. Plus I listened some more to another book. So LOTS of fiction. I know I wrote “mother tree” in my journal. That must be something. Certainly it feels like something.

I got my copy of the Fierce Planets catalog…

It looks like a really beautiful show, y’all. I’m hoping to see it somewhere. I can’t go to the opening…too far, wrong time of year. But it will travel, hopefully closer.

Dinner drawing, Friday night with the Man. Using up a restaurant gift card…

We had to drive to two locations. Long story. It turned out nicely. Weird drawing though.

There he is at his Saturday night show.

I didn’t make it all 4 hours. He barely did. He’s got some nasty cough. Both he and the boychild are sick, so knock on wood that my immune system is strong this week. Ha! Boychild went back to work today. His breakfast smelled better than mine. I should get that recipe. You know when you make something and freeze it to get you through the next two weeks, and then it’s OK, but not really great? Yeah. That’s this week.

Simba would totally eat it, if I’d left him.

Man, he has crusty nose again. Need to find the nose butter. He doesn’t like it, but it helps. Weirdly designed dog.

This popped up. Might be relevant in November.

In some states, much sooner than that.

OK. Teaching adaptations. Not hard, I think…but you know…Monday brains. I think my staff meeting after school is watching the staff-student basketball games. Last time, I felt like I needed to stay and watch the girls play, because they play last and everyone leaves, which I think is rude. Also, why can’t they play first sometimes? Sigh. What I really need after school is to get a handle on the rest of the week and the week after we come back from break, so I don’t need to come in and prep over break. We don’t have a nice trip planned for many reasons, which sucks. But I have shit to do around the house…hoping to get some of that set up this week. Yeah. Well. It’s just not a fun year. Parts of it are (the ceramic stuff) and parts are just keeping me going (all the books) and parts could feel better (the art in general)…so those are all things to think about that are more exciting than cleaning bathrooms and floors.