Slow.

OK whoa Nelly. We made it. The 2023-2024 school year has ended. That’s 21.5 years of teaching in the bag. That’s 16 years at my current school. The last 5 have been rough. I keep hoping (because I am apparently eternally optimistic) that the next one will be better. The pro of this last year is that the kids weren’t too bad. There were a few issues, but nothing like the previous year. This last year was difficult for a lot of reasons, and not all of them were school-related. But it’s done! Woohoo! And I have absolutely no school stuff planned for the next 54 days. Well, that’s a lie. I have two possible meetings with my co-teacher who is coming back after a year. The weird shit that happens in life. May we both have a chill year. At least one. Part of one. Dammit.

Promotion and the day before were hot and sunny; I’m a little sunburnt, but mostly did OK with a hat and sunscreen. I did definitely feel off, whether dehydration or stopping all my supplements pre-surgery, I don’t know. I just know I don’t feel well right now. Exhaustion? Who knows. I took very few promotion photos, but this one, of one of our favorites from the last two years, giving a speech during promotion, while a bird happily chomped on a bug above his head.

So proud of that kid.

After promotion, I cleaned up my room and moved a bunch of shit. Then went to the end-of-year party, which my whole team didn’t go to (ugh). I didn’t feel well there either (heat? dehydration?)…drank lots of sparkling water and ate something. Then went to my stitching meeting…

These tails are time-consuming. But fun. Still felt like crap. Came home, didn’t eat dinner (ugh), and ironed for a while…

I actually need to use those same fabrics for a bunch of tree parts in the 1400s, and I didn’t have the energy to deal with that last night. Friday, I had to be up early and at the outpatient surgical center for injecting the radio transmitter thing that will help the surgeon on Monday find the lesion in my left breast. It was a lot of squishing. But relatively quick. I went straight to school after to check out, but realized I needed to move all the stuff in the prep room so they could do that floor as well. I wasn’t supposed to lift anything, but um, I did. Oh well. I wasn’t bleeding much so yeah.

They don’t tell you about all the marks that will be left…the biopsy mark is still there. Now there’s another one on the side. And a giant purple X where the radio thingie works. I’m sore today, but not too bad. I don’t know exactly where the scar will be or how big it will be, or whether there will be a dent forever or not. I don’t really care; strangely the marks freak me out more. They don’t really matter…what matters is whatever is in there needs to come out and it needs to be benign. The odds are on my side on that.

I needed a 2-hour nap yesterday after the procedure and checking out. I read one whole book, finished another one, and started a third. Mostly in waiting rooms. Had to take the dog to the vet too. So much waiting. This was in one of the books.

Interesting that the author said that about textile art. The author is Japanese and this is translated.

My zucchini plant is growing…

It’s finally gotten sunny during the day…here’s this morning…

I’m not a very serious vegetable gardener. But I do like to do it. I like to see things grow.

I’m currently watching a ceramics video in Spanish. I know, weird. I didn’t make it to ceramics yesterday; I’m going today. I’m allowed to hike and do pilates before surgery. After surgery, I need to wait a few days. No weightlifting. Which I did yesterday at school. It’s OK…I’m not doing it next week. Last night, we went and watched some friends play a one-off show.

This is them pretending to be Run DMC. It was a fun show, but I was exhausted and spacey afterwards. I went to bed without making art. Hopefully I can do some clay and fabric today without dealing with exhaustion. I have a hard time slowing down. I’ve already started moving furniture and stuff for carpet installation later. Not today…or if today, I’ll do the lighter stuff. Pack the quilts up. Pack up the tchotchkes. Not the heavy stuff. The boychild is working overtime the next two weeks, so he’s home less. Less help. It’s OK. I don’t have measurements yet; waiting on the carpet guy for that. Waiting on the glass installation. Waiting on the gutters. Waiting waiting waiting. As long as they aren’t here Monday. I’d like to recover from surgery without dealing with humans. Cranky. I am.

Anyway. I have 54 days…8 weeks. Minus a few days when I will have to do some planning. I’m not doing summer school. I’m not going to our summer academy to improve myself. I’m not taking any education-related classes or going to any education-related conferences. I am going to PIQF in July, I’m visiting my daughter in San Francisco, I might be camping (if the Man or I get our acts together), I’m definitely reading a million books, playing with clay, and making art quilts. Hopefully getting plenty of sleep (ha! but not Monday; because of the diabetes, I’m the first surgery of the day and have to be up at like 4:45 AM. UGH.). Right now, I need breakfast, more tea, a shower, some reading, still watching this video in Spanish (it’s a ceramic handbuilding conference online all weekend; it’s not ALL in Spanish), and trying to get my head around all the other shit I need to do. It usually takes 2 weeks before I feel OK again after school ends. And surgery isn’t going to help with that. Slow. Reading. Stitching.

I Might Say It Every Year…

OK. Two days. Two weird days. No teaching. Finally. No coming home and grading or lesson planning. That was nice. I stayed late on Monday and finished up the last of the grades, the sex-ed opt-out kid packets. Three kids didn’t turn them in, haven’t turned most of it in. Their attitude? They’re walking across the stage anyway…why do the work? Great attitudes. It’s OK. They’re not mine anymore. They’re going to high school. I get new problems. I already know about one of them, so that’s fun. But we get new ones every year…this will be the first year in a while that we don’t know anything about the kids coming up to us. I’ve had some of this year’s kids for three years…6th-grade art, then 7th-grade and 8th-grade science. Pros and cons to that. Realistically, if we request a kid NOT come to us next year, they’ll be going to our friends on the other team, so that seems shitty. Anyway. This kid, we’ve got no choice. I’ll worry about it later. Right now, I gotta get through the next few days, which are a little nuts. Too much shoved into the next 6 days.

I went to the ceramics studio on Monday. I had some leftover reclaimed clay from the sgraffito piece and the Man had requested some pots for his bog plants, so I used up almost all of what I had…

I am going to make the coil pot a little taller…I needed it to solidify a little. I’m probably going to do a little carving on them when I get to go in next…not entirely sure when that is. Not today…hopefully Friday? But maybe not. I don’t know. Saturday? They’re notoriously busy on Saturday. I don’t want to deal with a bunch of people. We’ll see. One of the tiles made it out of the glaze firing, but the other one is still on the rack.

Fabric choosing is still happening, super slowly.

Everything is just super complicated imagery that requires a lot of thought for just 10 or 20 pieces. Takes forever.

I’m in the 300s still. Got two figures done in the flesh; one still needs her clothing done. Kitten is my stalwart companion. Oh no, wait…I am in the 400s. More than halfway through them. Geez. I think the big figures will go faster…it takes the same amount of time to pick 5 or 6 fleshtones, but the pieces are bigger and there are more of them. So less choosing per number of pieces. That’s my theory anyway.

I am exhausted. I had to stop taking all my supplements, including the ones that help me sleep. Good week for that. Be real, though…the last week of school and two weeks after, it’s all recovery, sleep, etc. I remember last year that the Man was irritated by having to go to work in the morning as I went back to sleep. But the tables are turned now! I know he wants to go back to work and hopefully they’ll figure his back out or release the work restrictions so he can go back. But he doesn’t get to complain about my sleeping in.

Ah sigh. I wish that were true. This summer is chock full of shit I need to do. Starting with today. Keep cleaning my classroom. I got some done yesterday. I have a bunch of paper that needs recycling. I got my yardsticks back from the other science teacher, who is leaving. So we get to interview again. Fun times. We will be practicing promotion for at least two hours this morning. Then we get kids for maybe one period. I’m putting on a video. Then out to the carnival in the afternoon. We might actually have clouds all morning today and tomorrow. A girl can dream. Still need sunscreen and a hat, but it’s not as bad as the sun beating down on you. Pilates after school. Tomorrow, there’s a staff party but hardly anyone is going. My team is not. Sigh. Then I have a stitching meeting. Friday, we check out, but I have to have this radio transmitter thing injected into my boob for Monday’s surgery, so I’ll be late to school. Hopefully it won’t be too uncomfortable. We’re almost done. That’s a relief. It’s been a rough year. I probably said the same thing last year. I might say it every year.

Very Fine…

Hey. It’s the last Monday of this school year. We’ve got four days. Four days of utter chaos and mayhem, but four days nonetheless. I can do four days. I think. Actually, I do have to be there on Friday, but usually not for long. Weirdness is happening this year on Friday. Complicated.

ANYWAY. Today I teach STI prevention, although 1st period might be trickling in one kid at a time due to bad scheduling. Not mine. Tomorrow I teach goal setting, although again, 1st period might get screwed. Whatever. I wonder sometimes what non-teachers think we do after state testing. Because we have to do something or we have anarchy, and not in a good way. Wednesday is all promotion practice and carnival (hat and sunscreen), and Thursday is promotion (also hat and sunscreen). My grades are mostly done; I have 23 kids who are supposed to turn in two papers each today. We’ll see if they do. So I might just have to tweak their grades…but probably not. And I need to clean my classroom. Not entirely sure when that is happening. Normally it would be during my prep or while the kids were watching a movie, but with 8th grade, there’s less of both. I’ll probably get prep today, but maybe not Wednesday. Who knows.

So artwise, it might feel like I’m gearing up for summer enjoyment, and I am hoping to (a) get my sewing machine back this week and (b) to actually have more time to make art, but I also have a ton of house stuff to do…painting mostly. Moving stuff so we can install carpet. That’s overwhelming in itself. Claywise, I finally figured out which clear glaze I was gonna try on the tiles…

They’re going in the next glaze kiln…the second one, a kid had me sign their yearbook with a fingerprint drawing, and I had washed it off but only sort of, so when I went to rinse the tile, some of it came off in the background, so I ended up putting a wash over it. It needed the contrast anyway.

So we’ll see how they turn out. Then I did more underglazing on the winged woman…

Broke the damn snake head off again. I have a plan for fixing it…I think I just need to fire this thing and then move on.

Nice kitty.

The quilt in process (well, the third in process) is still being ironed to fabric…slowly. Friday night…

Still down in the grassy knoll. Then Saturday…

Got most of that done, and Sunday, I moved up the left side…

Didn’t quite finish ironing men’s white shirts (see Kitten asleep in the top left?). But I’ve made it into the 300s. I don’t think I’ll be done this week, but I might. We’ll see. It would be nice to be done before surgery so I could just sit on the couch, bingewatching something and cutting things out.

We hiked…

It’s still all about the flowers…

Ah cudweed…you make everything smell like maple syrup.

This is what grading looks like…

Thanks Nova. So much help.

This is what I think when all the rumors at the end of the school year are whirling around.

It’s not all about classroom management. There are some definite social and parental issues here. Sigh.

Probably not cannibalism. I’ll leave that to the rest of you.

I’m still working on Sue Spargo’s Homegrown…finally to the center square.

It’s coming along. There’s a lot of stitching on it. Well, supposed to be. Not so much at the moment. It felt weird yesterday actually having time to stitch and mop the kitchen floor (which was disgusting). I didn’t have to lesson plan or post a bunch of assignments. Kids don’t have computers after today unless they buy them (so again, wtf are we supposed to be doing with them?), so I can’t put any assignments on there. A relief really. No more of that for two months. Woohoo! Anyway. Close. Not there yet.

Had my brain scan on Saturday. Results sometime this week. That’s a bit stressful. What’s worse…they find something that explains the visual disturbances? Or they don’t find anything? Sigh. Probably the finding something is worse…so that’s a waiting game. Also I’m full of gadolinium now. I’m waiting for my super power to surface. I forgot drawing with dinner…

OK. School. Teach the things. Leave school and go play with clay. Come back, finish grades. Or finish grades, then clay? IDK. We’ll see. Then iron. No more grades after today. That’s fine. Very fine.

Fast at the End…

Whoa Nelly. It all goes fast at the end. Five days. Field trip today to Belmont Park. Grades due Tuesday. 23 sex-ed opt-out assignments get turned in Monday so I’ll have to grade those Monday afternoon. Room has to get ready for summer…thank goodness we don’t need to lock everything up because they aren’t using our rooms for fucking summer school. For once. But still, there’s a lot of moving that has to happen. I lose my prep today, so no time to do any of that. We come back from the field trip and just show movies…and hope for no ODs. I didn’t used to hope for that, because I didn’t expect to HAVE to, but now I hope for that. I often wonder what admin thinks of the last three weeks of school. Obviously they think we aren’t teaching anything, because they keep fucking with schedules, they tell us at the last minute that the kids will have no computers, etc. Like just whatever. Keep them in the classroom with nothing really to motivate them to do anything, then blame us for bad class management when these post-COVID kids with their permissive parents act up. Fuck that.

ANYWAY. I don’t have to teach today. That’s a plus. I’ll be patrolling bathrooms and hidden corners for the druggies. I might go on a roller coaster. Just one. Then come back, show a movie, and try to finish grading the piles on my floor and clean up a bit. Stand at the corner for duty and hope there isn’t a police-level fight like there was on Monday. Fun times. Then hopefully the surgeon will have figured out if I really need blood tests and how to put the damn orders in, so I can go BACK to the lab and have more blood drawn by an arrogant prick who literally blamed me for any bad draw in the last million years. I really did have fun yesterday afternoon. Then to ceramics! I got a glaze that should work on my sgraffito tiles, I’m hoping to get that crazy winged woman done, and then I can go back to the world figure I started ages ago and haven’t been able to work on because of other stuff.

I’m ironing, very slowly. It’s hard to pull my brain back from overwhelmed state long enough to manage it. Wednesday night was dirt and volcanic bits, plus bones…

Then last night was body bags. OK, that might have been part of the difficulty. I mean, no one wants to think about body bags, but the people in Gaza have been thinking about them way too much. And that problem still isn’t solved. Because humans and land and religion and power and politics and and and. Never a reason to kill children. Or anyone, for that matter.

Sigh. Well the pro is I don’t need any more blood drawn this week. He just messaged me. They might try to draw it the day of the surgery, when I haven’t drunk anything since I went to bed, so that’ll be fun for them. Not my problem. You know, last night, I went to the only pilates class I was able to get into this week and it was supposed to be an easy center and balance (and it was), but somehow I pulled a shoulder muscle and that doesn’t even seem fair. Everything hurts…but especially that. I can’t even think what I did to cause it. Some rainbow movement (pretend you’re a rainbow!). Sigh.

It’s going to take me a long time to iron everything to fabric for this quilt. It’s complicated and every complicated little bit requires thought, and I really don’t have a lot of spare brain power for that.

I appreciate this.

I also appreciate one girl’s drawing on her pregnancy packet…

Legit.

Found a barn owl feather in the yard.

They’re still out there. I hear them every night. No babes. Wah.

The Man is still enticing crows, now onto the deck. I guess he put the nuts away that were on the driveway because we had workers here, but the crow came and complained at him. So he put it on the deck. And now this ballsy rat is a fan.

Sigh. OK. I bought boxes so we can start boxing up books. To do the carpets in the hallway and all three bedrooms, we have to move all the things. I figure we box the books so the bookshelves can be easily moved. Get the girlchild’s room cleared out early. Move whatever we don’t need right now, stack it all in the living room as much as we can, so OMG I can’t believe how much house shit I need to do this summer. Please don’t ask me what exciting thing I’m doing this summer. The house stuff literally makes me wanna cry sometimes. This whole year. I’m just done. And it’s only June. OK. School. Gotta go in. Gotta go on this field trip. I love the nurse yesterday who’s like, “You have to take care of yourself too” and I’m like, “Welcome to teaching.” It’s an impossible balance. The plus is that it is Friday and the weekend is here, even though it’s a crazy busy weekend full of brain scan, grading, stained-glass window install (hopefully…because I don’t think everything is ready to go). I might get a hike and dinner out, but I’m not really in the mood for even that. It’s just easier than figuring anything else out. Yeah. School. Go. Go there. Do the things.

My Head Is Exploding…

OK. So I managed to do 70 trillion things yesterday to try to make sure I’m ready for ANYTHING: my sub for the next two days, missing my flight Monday afternoon (Alaska Air has already offered me money to switch my flight day, which does not bode well for getting home on time), running out of toilet paper here, the faucet that is failing, a shortage of cotton balls for next Wednesday’s lab…WHATEVER. I feel like my head is exploding. I even had all my breakfasts and lunches planned this week, and then my bosses fell through on today’s breakfast burrito and made it lunch instead…OK, so I have an extra lunch now. I’ll take one on the plane. But the point of the breakfast burrito is that I don’t have a prep during testing, so eating is more complicated on those days, so a solid breakfast helps. Cheerios isn’t gonna do it. Ah well. Roll with it.

I did get two days in the ceramics studio this week, mostly because I’m trying to finish the sgraffito piece so I can work on the OTHER piece…there’s no room on my shelf at the moment. Plus I wanted to make sure all the paper towels were damp for the week I won’t be in there.

So here’s Monday’s progress…all the blues…

Then yesterday, I did the flesh color…

Sorry about all the talking. I forget that people are in the studio while I’m working. Then I add music before I post on Insta, but forget that I would need to download that version. So you get random studio conversations. Ugh. Monday, there was no one else there. It was delightful. Tuesday was busy.

I need some shades of flesh for all the bits I didn’t do. And I realized I should have done the teeth when I did the other whites. Ah well.

And some of the raindrops need touchup.

No clue what I’m going to do with her hair. Definitely red arteries and heart and probably nails.

It’s definitely fun. It’s basically drawing and coloring. On a curvy thing.

So there’s that. Maybe finished mid-June (or 2025…whichever seems more reasonable). No, I need to finish so I can work on the other one.

The cloud/grass planter went into the bisque fire yesterday. That was fast! I’m close to putting the winged creature in for a bisque fire too. Soon. I probably need help with that. The shelf isn’t big enough for me to just put her there.

I’m also doing quilt stuff. Have not stopped that. It’s my late-night art. So really, I’m just doubling up some days. I sorted all the Wonder Under (in two nights) for the new big quilt…

And then realized I had never ironed the last little one together and it’s taking up space in the office. I know it won’t take long, so I’m just doing it.

I cleaned up first, then started setting stuff out. I love this part of quiltmaking, when all the colors come together. I’m going to have so much sewing to do when I get my machine back. Good times.

The Man is trying to make friends with crows.

This one wouldn’t get out of my way when I was trying to go to work yesterday. There are two hanging around. He is just feeding them at the moment…not sure when they start bringing us people’s jewelry, but I think it’s soon.

The proteas are still fascinating…

OK, state science testing is today. I’m a little freaked out by the next 24 hours, but I’m sure I’ll survive. I need to come home and do laundry (after pilates and during book club, apparently), pack, make sure I’m ready because tomorrow is an early start. Gonna be a long day. But we’ll be with family at the end of it, so that’ll be cool. Looking forward to seeing my niece graduate. Yay for her!

Maybe in That Order

OK. This week. Is gonna be a bit nuts. I worked all Saturday morning/afternoon trying to get the alternative assignment done for sex ed. Successful at that. Can’t use the same one they use in 7th grade. That’s silly. But now it actually exists. I have a ton of stuff to get done in the next three days. I spaced out on packing up a quilt this weekend, so that’s after school. So is clay. So is book club. It’s all good. I’ll get through it all. I might even sleep at night. Maybe.

So clay stuff. I finished carving the sgraffito piece and started adding underglaze colors.

It’s going to take a while…

Someone was like, then stop! Don’t do it! It’s fine the way it is!

Maybe. But I want to try what’s in my head. I can always do this again without all the colors. I know how now.

Getting the space to experiment as an established artist is hard. Also people are always telling me what they think I should do.

I really don’t do critiques. I have a voice, I know what I’m doing most of the time. It’s in my head. My SAQA local group met on Zoom yesterday and now they’re setting up critiques, and I’m like, ugh, no. Don’t wanna. It’s fine. I know some people want other people to give them suggestions. I don’t. Thanks.

The tiles got bisque-fired…

They need a clear glaze on top.

Friday night’s dinner drawing.

We had a family dinner Saturday night, so no drawing then.

And then lots of Wonder Under being trimmed…Friday night…

Saturday night…

And I finished Sunday night, just over 10 hours…

I started sorting, but then was reminded that we had to make the bed, and then it was bedtime. So I didn’t finish. Tonight there’s a lot going on, but I’m hoping to finish sorting and get the office organized and cleaned up for ironing to fabrics. I do still have another quilt that is ready to be ironed together. I may start that first. We’ll see. It’s all starting to pile up in here. I have a quilt top that is half stitched down, still waiting for my sewing machine to come home. I know the necessary part was shipped a little over a week ago. Frustrating.

This silly boy apparently had fleas.

Like WTF, that’s why you’re on flea meds. So he got a bath. I didn’t do it.

I spent a little time cleaning up plants on the deck and found this swallowtail cocoon.

It was empty, but it was cool to find, hidden away like that.

OK. I’m very much in survival mode at the moment. Getting stuff done, a little bit at a time. Panicking when I realize something isn’t done. Lots of not sleeping and trying to remember shit. I write a lot of things down and then forget to look at the lists, plus I have phone reminders, but then I ignore them. Good brain. Silly staff meeting today. Hopefully better than the last ones about literacy (unlikely). Then clay. Then pack up quilt. Book club. Sort Wonder Under. Clean office. Maybe in that order.

Head in a Magnet

Well. It is finally Friday. 19 days of school left. Testing for 2 of them. Not gonna be there for 2 of them. Teaching sex ed soon, so that’ll be at the same time easier and harder, depending on my voice and the specific class. Gotta let some of rest of it go…I know who will be in my classroom those two days and I just have to let it go. It’ll be fine. Until it’s not.

I’ve got three days and about 2 1/2 hours of reading until my library book automatically disappears. No problem. Well. I gotta teach today…roller coaster physics. Fun stuff. The kids did awesome on this performance task practice. Really proud of them. Look! I taught them something! Sigh. And I am going to the ceramics studio tonight to get more done on that sgraffito piece…finish carving, maybe start underglaze? We’ll see. Not entirely sure how I’m doing that. Things are easy in class when all the materials are provided…harder if you’re doing it on your own. Have a ton of schoolwork today. I got some done in class yesterday but I don’t think I’ll get much done today unfortunately. Next week though…next week is testing, so let’s hope. Planning has to happen this weekend. I got the egg drop stuff planned, but not the alternative assignment for my 8th-grade opt outs for sex ed. Can’t give them the same shit as last year. There’s an easy option, but it’s boring. I’m not good at the easy option. Tend to double down when I’m buried. Silly really.

Most important problem for next week? What stitching will I take for the plane? What books? I know. ALL the books. I will have to grade while I’m gone. That’s fun. Hopefully it’ll be quick and easy. Hopefully the flight will actually have wifi so I can grade. Better than sitting in a house with all the fam and trying to do it. There’s a ‘dedicated workspace’…it’s a table in the middle of everything. Yeah no. However, sitting on a deck and doing it? That might be OK (or it might be raining and freezing…welcome to Maine in May). It’s all good. It’s new and different. I’m looking forward to it as I’m stressing out about it. Like everything. Brain MRI is scheduled…they wanted to do the same day as my surgery, but I suggested that was problematic. Then they picked the day I get the radiotransmitter thing inserted in my boob for presurgery stuff, which is metal, so that’s out. So now I get to spend 20 minutes on a Saturday with my head in a magnet. Sounds lovely. I should get the results while I’m still teaching. Even more lovely.

We watched the movie Yesterday the last two nights…and it was light and cheesy (good after Baby Reindeer‘s dark and turgid), but the best part, the part that almost made me cry…wait, I don’t wanna spoil it if you want to see it and haven’t…damn, there’s someone who shows up in the movie who is dead in real life. I remember when he died. I was in middle school, it was a rainy morning, because dad was driving us to school, and it was on the radio. Clearly remember it. I didn’t really understand the significance, but I do now. And it was sweet. Lovely. Sad. Or I’m just an emotional exhausted mess and pretty much anything will put me over the top. You decide.

I’ve been cutting things out at night, trying to do a yard a night…or an hour…or both. I was doing really well the first three nights, but last night, this was after an hour and 15 minutes and definitely past my bedtime…

Definitely did not finish that yard. To its credit, there were lots of tiny complicated bits on that yard.

The night before, I finished…

I’ve done a total of almost 5 hours so far…and a little less than 4 yards. I think. Yes. Well, except I had that one small piece with a head and two pieces of hair. Whatever. I’m more than halfway done. Insert arty photo of the same pile of Wonder Under pieces…

Yeah. I know. It is actually relaxing to cut these out. That’s the plus. Boring in photographs. Barely any viewer engagement. Insert photos of ceramics to excite people! Hey those take forever too. I need to get the sgraffito piece done so I have enough shelf space to make the top part of the torso though. Need to use up the clay I have and not buy more of that type too. Ha! That’s my limitation on the world figure…I have a limited amount of that clay. Should be interesting.

ANYWAY. I need to go to school and be productive. I need more tea (I left my teacup in the car the other morning. Almost died.). I need more patience. Seriously, kids, I guess if you WANT to be kicked out, tell me to shut up some more. Love that. Teach roller coasters, let them compete in an escape room…for candy. Go play with clay (very meditative and chill…and Fridays are notoriously quiet at the studio). Then cut things out. Read my book! I can plan school stuff tomorrow…

Mghmghmgh…

MMMMMmmmmm. Imagine an irritable, tired growl with a guttural scratchy losing-my-voice catch to it. Not even sure what letters of the alphabet go with that. Mghmghmghmgh? Something like that. I’m not one of those gratitude people, but I try to think of positive things each day when it’s really hard (code: it’s really hard right now). The kids are…um…challenging. Doing state test review sucks. Trying to come up with stuff for the kids to do after testing but while I’m gone and before sex ed is stressful (although I had a minor breakthrough last night after working from 8 AM to 8 PM…you should try it sometime. Not.). Trying to manage departmental things without my co-chair…fuck me. I might crawl into a hole next year. Certainly this year I say no no no a lot and it doesn’t seem to help. So yeah. Behind on grading still too. And exhausted. Not sleeping. Just my brain…the same brain that is still seeing that swirling cabbage, that gets to call radiology today because it’s been two weeks and they haven’t called me yet to set up a brain MRI. I’ve never put my head in an MRI. I do have some claustrophobic issues. I also meditate well. I think I need blood tests before that test and blood tests before the surgery, but within certain time constraints. Ugh. My head hurts. Ironically. I’m supposed to be keeping a migraine diary but I don’t have migraines…I just have stress headaches and overwork headaches and body needs a massage headaches.

So that’s me this Wednesday. The first two days of the week seem to kick my ass. I wrote more referrals this week in those two days than I’ve written in the last two months. I’ve had two middle-school boy apologies, one stoned-out mumbling complaint and then acknowledgement, and one tantrum on Instagram (he was, not me) that concluded with my telling him to put his head down as I walked away with his computer. Let’s be clear…these kids are going to high school in three months. And they’re acting like 5-year-olds. I get it. Testing is hard. Growing up is hard. But so is dealing with their shit. 21 days. 21 days of my trying to feed my sanity with art and books and apparently yardwork. Yesterday, it was weed whacking, which is surprisingly restorative. So is watering and seeing monarch caterpillars…or protea blooming…or the new bushes I planted thriving. All good.

So. Art. The planter finally got to leather hard a week after the class (note to self for future reference…make it earlier). And I got the tool I needed in the mail, so Monday, I continued carving. I started in class, just did the basic outline of the face and arms. I haven’t finished carving out the background, so there’s still stuff that needs to happen.

But I’m really enjoying this. It’s really just drawing on clay.

You can draw in pencil first, because it will burn off in the kiln, but I didn’t. I just drew with the carving tool.

I see today that there are more details I could add before the next step, which would be adding color in. But realistically, this isn’t something I could sell easily. That’s over three hours so far in making the pot and carving, and I’m nowhere near done.

Carving vertically is a challenge. I did hold it a few times to get a part done, but it’s heavy. Definitely logistics for clay are very different than for fabric.

Definitely enjoying the process though. My brain has to work everything out inside it before I do it, so I’ll be driving to work, mentally working out how to paint this thing. I guess the pro is that I won’t get dementia because I’m overthinking everything under the sun. I don’t think my brain ever stops. Hence lack of sleep, right?

I did finally start cutting out the big quilt. She has a deadline now. Not that it changes how I’ve been working…an hour a night, sometimes more.

Thanks, Simba, for the assist. I set a little goal every week, every night. I want it all cut out and sorted before I leave for Maine next week. I figure an hour to cut out each yard (sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less) and there were 7 yards, so 7 nights? Plus a couple hours of sorting. Should be cut out by Monday, should be sorted by Wednesday. Easy peasy.

Thanks, Nova, for keeping that hip warm. You know, I worked until 9:30 PM last night…not 8. I even worked while I was cooking dinner…this after teaching a lesson on the negative impacts of multitasking in advisory yesterday. Whatever. Reality sometimes means doing more than one thing at a time. I can record videos while the food is cooking, before the next step. It’s true I forgot to empty the dishes out of the sink, but I did it later, after complaining happened.

Whatever. OK. Today. More tea. Definitely. I saw 12:49 AM last night. I must have fallen asleep eventually, but then I saw 4:45 AM too. So we’re thriving!!! Hmmm. Mghmghmgh. Maybe it’s Grhmgrhmgrhm. I don’t know.

Finish planning egg drop stuff. Make a table of contents for this stupid last packet of stuff I don’t even want to grade (and might not…don’t tell the kids). Probably meet and fix a bunch of things that sit on me until I shove them off. Play Blooket with the kids (although I need to edit that before school starts…ha! Maybe not). Call for a brain MRI. Not scary at all. Go to pilates. Good for the body. Good for the brain. Work some more (ugh). Not my night to cook, so do the dishes. We need a palate cleanser after watching Baby Reindeer…train wreck that. Ugh. Something funny but not stupid funny would be good. Or heartwarming. What a concept. Then cut some more pieces out. Read my book somewhere in there. Gotta finish it by Wednesday…maybe sooner. I think the library loan is up sooner. Double ugh. It’s a slow start so far. Someone was murdered 20 years ago. Not sure when she’ll get to the point.

Owls! No babies. But parents. And lots of threat noises last night.

It makes me sad that there are no babies…that’s at least two that have died. But they haven’t given up…

Dirty Windows

My windows are dirty. This is not a euphemism for something. My actual house windows are dirty. I see them every day and it’s on my to-do list to clean them, but then I do 5 things and the day is gone and I still haven’t finished everything, I’m still eating dinner at 8:30 because I didn’t start cooking early enough because I was grading things and making videos (I made 11 videos for school yesterday). I think I read my book yesterday. Maybe. A chapter. I know I didn’t shave the Man’s head…I remembered this morning that I was supposed to help with that. Oh well. He’ll do it himself. If only the windows would do themselves.

Busy weekend, but they all are. I actually slept in on Saturday until 9 AM. I mean, minus the dog barking and the Man opening and closing things. It was delightful. But apparently not enough, because here I am on Monday morning feeling like a truck hit me and maybe I need another three cups of tea before I’ll be functional again.

Let’s start with clay. I have this mug that was too big so it became a planter that I was making, just for fun, not art, and it was finally dry enough to either fire or decide what I wanted to do about glazing. Glaze is hard, but I wanted to try these glazes that are shiny after the bisque fire. So I remembered to bring the glazes to the studio on Friday (not enough room to store them there) and painted it…

Painting glazes is a pain in the ass…you need at least two coats, maybe three. We’ll see how this turns out.

Pro: it’s done. Con: I realized when I was done that it had taken me 2 hours. Another late dinner. Ah well.

I also traced…in fact, I finished tracing the Wonder Under last night…15 nights…

19 hours and 13 minutes…

7 yards and a bit…

I think I stayed up too late for all of those 15 nights trying to get an hour in, or last night, just trying to finish. It’ll be at least 7 hours to cut it all out, probably more. Lots of little pieces in there.

Saturday, I went to Visions with my quilt guild folks to see the new Latine exhibit there. There’s a design thing going on because San Diego and Mexico, so the museum had some new and different artists showing, which was nice.

Mely Barragàn…

Her piece Shallow Water Emerges Til Dawn…

Very much asks you to touch it. The chains were especially nice, dangling off the ends.

Chain fabric even.

Marisa Raygoza…

Emotional Support Rock…I’m feeling this one especially.

Tumble Dry

Some embroideries from her movie The Path of a Tear…

And some soft sculpture, although there’s nothing soft about a gun.

She Used Her Head As a Revolver

There were art dresses, which somehow I didn’t photograph, and weavings as well…

The most intriguing part of this piece, by Olivia Arreguin, Womb in a Dress, was the DNA she knotted into the womb.

Cool exhibit…check it out.

Also walked the dogs…was puppy sitting Annie…

We all needed a walk.

The path was really overgrown with flowers…

The two old guys were a little…um…panty.

Got my 3 miles in though.

Check out the glare on that cat…

Nova seemed very offended by Simba’s presence.

OK, well, I’m still reviewing science for the state test. The kids are rebelling against it, but whatever. They’d rebel against anything but naps and candy right now. Makes my life fun. Friday was annoying. Thank goodness for clay at the end of the day. Today will be different…I changed it up. Constantly trying to find different ways to get info in their heads…takes a ton of time and energy. I’m running low on both. Then staff meeting. Then clay again…not sure which piece I’m going to work on. Then cutting things out. Probably need to grade things in there too. Ugh. Or planning. That’s definitely a thing. This week is survival. Maybe all of them are. Well, I start teaching sex ed at some point, so that’s at least an attention-getter…but they’re all convinced they don’t need to do anything else for the rest of the year. Fun times.

Panic Friday

Hello panicked Friday. Have you seen my work to-do list? Yeah? Me too. I’m deep breathing right now. Literally couldn’t get through everything on it today if I could clone myself (and I wish I could). I wish my district could figure out how to say no to parents, but they can’t. I suspect none of them can at the moment. But when you do that, it all falls on staff to deal with…and I’m done. Yesterday was a clusterfuck of tiny fires threatening to be big ones. I put most of them out, and then after school, there were more…this morning, more…I either need to up my meds, stop sleeping, or call in sick for three days. Just to deal with stuff for a tiny few kids. Can’t deal with the large majority at all. If I stop taking time for myself, to make art, to read, fuck that, to eat and sleep and poop, well then I might get through it all. Deep breaths. Let’s hope that I’m efficient as hell today and get through a healthy enough chunk that I can do one fun thing this weekend. ONE.

Trace trace trace.

I’m 15 hours into the tracing…and just hit the 1300s. So I have about 350 to go.

Pretty sure my original guess was 20 hours.

Last night, I traced a barn owl, two bombers, and a bunch of bombs. Fun times. Oh, and the moon. I’m getting there.

I also stitched with friends, although I tore out the roof stitching 4 maybe 5 times.

It’s not like the picture, but it will be fine. This is the last house I need to embroider for this block of the month. Then the center piece (which is large) and put it all together. Then borders. Finished by 2035.

I was watering the other day, and saw these…

And this…

And this…

No time to water, plant, clean. Ugh. OK. Gotta go in and start dealing with all the things. Which includes some literacy meeting time. Ugh plus at least I might have some time to work. Maybe. We’ll see if I have the brain power for it. Clay after school (after doctor’s appointment). Then grade things and trace things. I’m really trying to carve out time tomorrow for a museum visit with my guild. We’ll see. Also a hike would be nice. Hanging out with the Man might be nice too.

We have both parents! But still no baby squawks. Me sad. At least they’re both still there. Presumably there’s eggs? More of them? They can lay up to 13 apparently. Get on it, you owls!