Where I Really Want to Be

I think I just ran around all weekend. I don’t feel particularly rested. Well, there were two late nights. I can blame one on Art Brain…I would have gone to bed. The other one, I blame Delta for flying the boychild in 90 minutes late on an already late flight. It’s fine. And last night, the new glucose sensor is off by 40 points again so the alarm kept going off…which is when I silenced it (it still buzzes) and put it on the floor. It’s still off this morning, so it gets 24 hours. Last time, that worked. Annoying though.

I did get the top ironed together on Friday night. I was exhausted (long short week), and was just going to piece the background, but once I had it all laid out, I’m like, it’ll be fine. How long will it take? That’s art brain talking, because the answer is 90 minutes past bedtime.

Awesome sauce. Looks good on that background, which is always nice. I pick those out when I start ironing all the pieces to fabric, so I’m never really sure what it will all look like in the end.

I started stitchdown on Saturday night.

Going about 100 mph, while singing along (probably quite badly) to whatever my phone was playing. Good thing the Man was also on headphones. Then I left at midnight to go pick up the boychild from the airport; he’d been hiking part of the PCT up in Washington.

And last night, further on in the stitchdown. Lots of details takes a bunch of time.

It’ll look better with outlining when I quilt it. That skeletal middle finger will be obvious.

I did a lot of school work this weekend (ugh). I remember now how trying to do the house stuff, run errands, go to meetings, but still have some time for art, reading, and relaxation…it feels like you’re constantly running.

I took a little time to sew stuff down on this during dinner TV time.

I also worked on one of the Rooted blocks during my quilt guild meeting, probably the first one I’ve been to in 6 months. First Saturdays are hard. I’m gone for the next one; I know that. A lot of the people I like to hang out with weren’t there.

I finished a cover page in science…a miracle for the first month of school!

Yet another roller coaster.

This show, with two of my pieces (one in the bottom right corner), opens this Friday.

I unfortunately won’t be there…and will never see this show, because it’s at Coastline College in Newport Beach and they are only open part of the week, certainly not the weekend. Ah well. It isn’t the first show I haven’t been able to attend. If you go, send me pics.

I also hiked 3 miles on Saturday…

It’s been hot still, so I didn’t leave until like 5:30 PM. The Man’s back still bugs him too much to join me, but hopefully in the future. It was still warm, but there was a cooler breeze in the second half.

I met one human and her massive (unleashed) dog…who saw me, stopped, and then started loping toward me. Kind of nerve-wracking. She’s searching through her pack for the leash and calling the dog, who isn’t listening at all. Sigh. I don’t care if he’s the gentlest giant around; if I’d had Simba with me, there would have been a problem. Leash your fucking dogs, especially in wildlife preserves, where it’s required. Humans are annoying.

Seriously, he was huge.

I saw this while driving home.

I chose to read it as What Would Jesus Do? Get rid of those two buffoons. Also badly centered ‘Vance’, which might be a metaphor.

Back to teaching, this is part of my regular job apparently.

The kid typed the stuff on the left. I mean, it’s probably true, and I did tell two kids that Spanish was OK, but Turkish is out of my knowledge realm. How to get these kids to write in English! I mean, I could have them write in their native language, then use Google Translate, then have them read it to me in English, then write it in English, but that would mean the other 32 kids in the class are just sitting there while I do that for 10 minutes (there’s multiple language kids in one class). This kid, legit writes in English most of the time, so I’m OK with it, but the three Spanish speakers have been in US schools for over 2 years and won’t even try in English. Sigh. I can’t do all the things. There isn’t enough time for all of it.

And for those thinking Chatgpt is teaching for us, we had it read through a set of stations we did in the past and consolidate it into 3 stations, instead of 6. It produced a ‘worksheet’, for some loose definition of such, and I spent over an hour turning it into something usable. I’m not saying it wasn’t helpful; it was definitely a shortcut, but don’t tell me it produces stuff I can use right away. Because it doesn’t. It probably saved us an hour of trying to decide which ones to do and what to cut, and then formatting it slightly differently so it all fits on four pages instead of 20. Still needs a ton of work and planning brain.

OK. It’s Monday. Another full week. Trying to fit exercise and ceramics in…not sure how that’s gonna go, honestly. Today? I’m teaching forms of energy. Mostly notes…a couple of demos. We built in some independent time this week (we’ll see how independent they really are), so we could NOT be direct teaching (which is exhausting for us and the kids) all week. Also maybe we could grade some stuff at school instead of bringing it all home. We have a two-hour (torture) literacy meeting after school today, ugh, with lesson and all. Not fun. Hopefully useful. They haven’t been, really…just been performative, which is annoying. They did let us plan our own learning this year, individually (although me and my co-teacher are doing the same lessons). For once, we get to decide what our kids need. What a concept. Then home to deal with a broken blind and the guy fixing it, with two dogs in the house. Then book club. And some stuff in and around all that. I think I read the book. I don’t remember. Oh yes! I did. It was nice. Not amazing, but nice. Then more stitchdown! Which is where I really want to be.

By the Skin of My Pants…

Ugh. Head. Under. Pillow. Alarm. OK, I’m up. I swear. I’m mobile. Although the first thing I saw was yet another baby gecko who needed saving but was being stupid about it. I mean, we have a houseful of cats, and honestly, a small dog who loves to chase geckos and lizards. This baby has to be smart or it’s dead. It’s definitely not being smart and letting me rescue it…so I guess that’s fate. I saved one last night. Does that make up for the one in the window who won’t come out? Probably not.

Honestly, it’s more thinking than I can deal with this morning. I was at school for about 11 hours yesterday, minus the kamikaze drive right after school to come home and pee the old lady dog. My blood sugar was a disaster due to food and stress and exhaustion and trying to eat before people showed up and then once I got home and whatever. I can’t have all good days, right? Which reminds me…pause to take insulin. I forgot yesterday. I mean, I remembered when I was about 1/2 a mile down the road. So I came back. Then I did what I used to do…wrote INSULIN in big letters on a piece of paper and taped it to the inside of the front door. Six weeks to train yourself…and when I forget? It’s because I’m tired. I’m up too early, my routine is off, and I fuck up. It’s fine. I’m getting better at it.

OK. So the ironing together/down of the quilt got delayed by exhaustion. I had the rest of the planets done on Wednesday night…

The whole thing, which is pretty cool.

So I started teaching space…three or four years ago? And I’ve put the sun in SO MANY quilts, but none of the other planets, until I did the sort of mythological piece for the Fierce Planets exhibit…but never the whole batch of our solar system. This was cool. It symbolizes hope to me…the solar system is still out there doing its thing and will (but not forever, because you know, science…this one will destroy itself and another one will take its place) continue to do so. For a long time anyway.

I made a video of my decisionmaking process last night…

Because I almost just gave up and sat on the couch to read my book (my book is really good and I was really tired). But I didn’t. I did the video. And then I put the parts of the quilt on the background and decided, Yah, that’ll work, and then I ironed the background and trimmed the selvedges so I can sew it together tonight and then iron the whole thing down. And then tomorrow, which is Saturday, thank fucking goddess because I am so done (after a four-day week, y’all)…I can finally start the stitchdown. Which is relaxing and meditative and blissful.

Speaking of hope, there’s my baby barn owl and her olive branch.

I do think of all the baby barn owls we’ve had as girls. I know they’re not. I just like it better. One of them is hanging around…either the baby or mom. I hear them every night in the tree outside my studio, and I talk to them (her). Hi owl. Nice to hear you. Thanks for hanging around and eating gophers. Appreciate it. Thanks for all the owl pellets and the random feathers. Also, thanks for finally being quiet. Ha! Oh that last baby squawked for so long.

OK, yesterday morning, this piece of honeycomb was floating in the pool.

No bees. So weird. There is a tree above the pool? Still weird.

And when I was leaving school last night, the teacher who tends our tiny garden calls me over to identify the caterpillars on the apple tree, who are decimating the leaves.

It’s a moth. It’s not even a very exciting moth, like that Sphinx one I found…but the caterpillars are amazing. And he’s knocking them onto the ground. Meanwhile, one of my students, a girl, runs over and says she LOVES bugs and caterpillars and is trying to take one home (OK then)…weird world, y’all. (one of us…one of us…)

Today I am teaching. Like direct instruction and demos. Like an idiot. I mean, yesterday was bliss because we did cover pages (I forgot to take a picture of mine…which I did finish for once), and today is all gonna be talk all day (ugh). Next week was gonna be all on as well, until I said no, reminded us that we need breaks, and put in a day of independent work. Good times. We’re planned out about a week at the moment. By the skin of our pants…chins?…seat of our pants…but what is the skin one then? My kids always give me crap for not getting these right. By the skin of my TEETH (it’s biblical…)…no wonder I didn’t remember it. It makes no sense. Might as well say skin of my pants. I’d like to say I’m going to ceramics after school, and I will take my stuff, but I’m exhausted now, I have a meeting before school and duty after…and I need to check my parents’ mailbox…so maybe not. Maybe tonight I read my book and shit. I need to go make my lunch. Ugh tired. Art this weekend. Also school stuff. It is what it is. Peach out and plenty of sleep to all.

Hot and Ironing…

There is a delightful breeze coming through the window of my office right now, unlike the last three nights, when it has been hot as fucking hell in here and I remember again why I consider putting a room air conditioner in here every year around this time. And it was only in the 90s yesterday…last year, it hit 109 degrees during September (knock on wood; it’s only September 1, so it’s still possible). This room holds heat like crazy and the sliding glass door is a combo of unusable and unreachable, which is silly. Need to remodel this room with A/C and a slider on a remote. I guess one or the other. It does cool down at night…outside…but not in here. Bad design and/or no insulation in the walls. Certainly we didn’t see any when we did all the fixes to the rain damage. Houses built in the 1970s…they still didn’t build them well. So enjoy the breeze (and the day off of work!) because it’ll be gone and/or hot as hell in a few hours.

So it’s really hard to iron when it’s hot, y’all. I don’t even try until 8 PM and then I sit in here and sweat anyway because the fan can only be pointed below the level of the ironing board, or I’d have pieces flying everywhere. Plus the iron is putting off heat in a room that is already warm. Just since I started writing this, the room temperature has gone up 2 degrees. Anyway, on Friday, I came home after ceramics and ironed for 3 hours.

I was working on all the body pieces and the stuff around or attached to the main figure.

When I went to bed, I was missing some hair pieces, but I found them in the trash bin (which is why I don’t throw that out until the quilt is finished). Then Saturday night, I did the head and some other stuff around it.

I did an explosion and one of the Starlink things and part of the swamp. Here’s a better view of the head…

So many of Musk’s things blow up. All the pencil cups and the stapler and tape are there to keep the weight of the fabric from pulling the teflon sheets onto the ground. As it gets heavier with more pieces, this gets to be a harder balance and I need more weights.

Last night, I worked on the swamp and got all the base parts done; just the trees are left on that.

There’s some embroidery of the police/ICE badges to go on later. This puts me in the 1000s, so about 300 pieces left to go. Two or three nights? We’ll see. I mean, I could finish it today if it weren’t supposed to be 95 degrees in here and I didn’t have a thousand other things to do. Next up? Input grades. I think I finished most of the school stuff yesterday though. Besides inputting them. Oh wait, and advisory. Fuck. Forgot about that. Ugh. I have not fully found my routine yet. It takes me about 6 weeks usually. And Friday was super stressful for trying to get all the things done. This week is back-to-school night, plus two morning meetings, plus 7 new kids (ugh) and 3 kids moving classes and whoa…just found the fly yesterday that was buzzing everyone in the house. Either it died or Bowie killed it and didn’t eat it. Mmmm. Dead fly.

I need to try to get to ceramics today (oh my, it’ll be warm)…I got things attached and underglazed and felt really positive about this project that is more than a little stressful at the moment.

Not even sure how I’m going to get it in the kiln without breaking it…again. Ah well. Hope survives. I need to underglaze the flesh, fix more cracks, and fix the one piece of the flag that keeps popping off, which is better than the entire flag popping off, which is what happened last week. So frustrated with this right now. Remind me to do some smaller, less complicated things next. Really. OK, still need to finish the head. Ha!

I crazily hiked on Saturday, by myself, at like 5:15 PM (still 90 degrees, I think, but there was a breeze).

Three miles. Then I can eat things that might kick my blood sugar up…because they are less likely to have that jump. Well, they should be, but I ate too many fries and blew that. Ah well. Still working on it. Definitely more under control than it was three months ago, but the blood sugar still crashes kind of randomly at times, like last night. No reason. Definitely think my Saturday night glass of wine does it, but I didn’t have any last night and was still awakened at 4:30 in the morning with a low. Ugh. Sometimes if I get up (to pee and check my blood sugar with a finger prick), it’ll pop back up, like it thinks I’m getting up (no fucking way I’m getting up at 4:30 AM; you’d think my body would know that), but then it crashed again an hour later. Fuck me. I’m sure eating skittles at 5:30 AM is not a good life choice, but I don’t have another solution at the moment. And when I asked the diabetes nurse about it, she didn’t either. She wanted me to get up and have a real snack, and I’m like, no, not doing that unless it’s really bad and continuing to crash. I’m TIRED. I work during the day…with KIDS. I need a full night’s sleep. And I already reduced my insulin…so if it happens again this week, I’ll reduce it again. Supposed to be contacting doctor about that stuff, but I haven’t yet…maybe this time.

So the baby owl finally got chased off by mom…well, or did she? She has finally stopped hungry squawking though…but the other night, I hear noises on the slope and then a screech, so I look out there and two owls are in the tree outside my office window.

The lower one is looking up at the other one…and is smaller. Might be baby? This was the same night but I think that’s one of the parents, probably mom.

They were staring intently down on the slope, where this opossum was digging around…

I’m totally OK with the owls prowling the slope. I’ve got gophers and they’re tearing it up. Annoyingly.

I mentioned it was hot, yeah?

Cat evidence of temperatures.

And there’s this…

Also, let’s talk about how many of them are white men. But sure, y’all will pick on the one thing you think made them do it. We could just take the guns away from the mentally ill (well, honestly, mostly everybody), and that might help.

OK. I don’t have to work today! Well, I do, but not all day in a classroom. This is a short but painful week; I will be mostly dead by Friday. Good times! It will also be cooler by Friday, which will help. It’s September! A fun month for school…where things change daily for no apparent reason sometimes. Also we think our A/C at school might be out. They’ll have to fix it quickly because there’s a new state law about maximum temperatures in classrooms. But the rest of the day, I can read, iron, plant things (I did some of that already), anything I can stand in the heat. Working on a wool quilt has been out (ha!). I keep thinking I’ll start the embroidery on the border flowers on Homegrown, but I’d have to have the whole quilt on my lap, so that is not happening. I’ll just keep sewing little things down on blocks I can hold in one hand. I have a huge to-do list in my bullet journal, but I won’t get most of it done; let’s be real. It is nice to have a day off…thank you unions! And no, I didn’t make it to the protest march today because I didn’t know about it until too late, but yes! Protest the bullshit! Also the Zoom yesterday…I’m so glad that the closing ceremonies for my dual show at the Virginia Quilt Museum will be during Spring Break, so I’m planning on going out there and meeting my co-exhibitor, Lena Meszaros. Should be an awesome show, opening in January…come see us in the last week of March!

RE-explaining…

Why are all the apps and tech thingies being so annoying this morning? Why do they need passwords all of a sudden when it’s the same device and I’ve been using the app on that device since the beginning of time? I was grading last night and my school computer was like NOPE. You don’t have internet. I’m like, every other device disagrees with you. I can imagine my senior years spent arguing with robots and phones as they assume they are smarter than I am, but they require a precise order of things being done that seems to change every time. Mind-boggling.

In good news, today is the last day of diagnostic testing at school, so the last day the kids will have an hour of testing, staring at a computer, before then having all of their classes and flailing massively at times. It’s funny how hard it is for them to stare at a computer for any sustained amount of time, considering they do it to play games and/or text friends for hours. I guess those things hurt their brains less?

So speaking of their brains, we spent three days teaching about appropriate and inappropriate uses of AI in the classroom, trying to head off the stupidity in the future, and sure enough, at least four kids copied and pasted from AI (granted, English is not their first language and may be the bigger concern), but here’s one of their answers…

Sigh. So there’s some work still to be done. Not surprisingly. Welcome to my world.

OK, ironing is slow because it’s all still tiny people and things…

Although maybe all my quilts are tiny people and things. This is Wednesday night; I finished the graveyard except for one tiny bit on the other side of an arm that wasn’t ironed yet.

Then last night, I ironed the rest of the graveyard, an arm, a bunch of people, and the Statue of Liberty being born in blood…

Not symbolic at all. I thought I ironed the ICE swamp next, but it’s the main figure next, so that’ll be some bigger pieces tonight. I’m really hoping I can clear some time this weekend to finish the ironing…but it’s also gonna be hot and ironing when it’s hot sucks.

In other news, sigh. Because I’ve seen people say it’s because the shooter was trans or blaming depression meds and maybe sometimes we should provide more mental health services and reduce access to guns.

Maybe those are the things that we need to worry about. As I spent yesterday in a meeting about a kid who is potentially dangerous. Y’all aren’t protecting students and teachers enough. In case you were wondering about that.

I’m sure there’s a lot of uneducated people out there who think this is accurate.

And I’m ready to see a pregnant man, because that rectum is a fucking penis. So many things wrong with this picture.

Ending with hope for the school year. It says Love Nida, then a heart and science.

Yes, someone also crossed it off. I think today I deal with all the desk writing. I mean, I doodle all the time when I have to listen. Yesterday, I needed to explain how to NOT email me 78 times a day about your late work and how to actually turn in late work and notify me and how many emails I was gonna ignore. Because literally a kid left school early, turned in their warmup (which I grade on Sunday; already told them that) at 9 PM, then emailed me and asked me to grade it right then. Like WTF you little weasel. No. Anyway, I will spend the rest of the year RE-explaining how to submit late and regraded work.

Today I am still teaching about AI, but how to use it to research information or find websites that will help. Not to copy. Teaching citations (really simple ones). I’d like to think last year taught them that, but am starting to doubt that. We’ll see. Kids forget things in a really random way. Things that drive me nuts like: trying to hand in one page of your unit packet at a time. They did packets last year and it doesn’t seem to matter; they have forgotten everything. After school, I’m going to ceramics, then coming home and eating a solo dinner (it’s OK; I have a good book) and probably grading some shit, and then ironing. I have to be up at a reasonable hour tomorrow to do a Zoom with a quilt museum and another artist about a dual solo show (I know, weird) next year…and I’m going to try to go to the opening. Hopefully it works with school. Also looking forward to a three-day weekend so I can do something besides work. That’s a joy.

Separated Pieces…

S I G H. OK, the new school year isn’t too bad (knock on wood). There’s a few hillocks in there that I’m trying to solve (I sorta went off yesterday)…and I’m not into my routine yet (go take your damn insulin, woman). Two mornings since school started, I forgot to take my insulin. Once, I was halfway to school. The second time, I was at school, in a meeting. So yeah, I drove home. I’ll be in the bedroom, getting socks, and I’ll say, “don’t forget your insulin”, and then somehow, I’m out the door and forgetting it. Yes, I have alarms on my phone. Yes, I ignore them (actually, yesterday, I started early, so I wouldn’t have seen the alarm before I left). Anyway. I need to get that routine going.

This is the first full week of school with kids, so yes, it has been exhausting. I know I’ll get used to it, but I’m not there yet. I was convinced yesterday was Friday, but no. I need to move one kid’s schedule still and contact parents. I didn’t have time to deal with it yesterday. My co-teacher and I were all excited about an app that we thought would help kids; turns out AI can be really lame sometimes. This is one of those times. Which sucks, because they market to schools. They even admit that part sucks. Good times.

Speaking of AI, I use an app that sends me new clothing to possibly purchase about 4 times a year. I hate shopping for clothes, so this keeps me in stuff that’s not full of holes. It’s now using AI to help me write a note to my person who picks my stuff, and it was scary good. It looked at what I had bought before, analyzed it, asked me a few questions, gave me some samples to yay or nay, and then wrote the note from that. Accurate as shit. So. There’s that. We’ll see what shows up…if it’s all ruffles and polyester, we’ll know it fucked up.

OK. So the art stuff. I finished cutting out all the pieces for the current quilt…just over 15 hours of that.

Last night, after an artists’ talk, I sorted them all (went to bed late)…

It took an hour and a half. One box has all the pieces that separated…fabric from paper backing…a lot this time. Hopefully I’ll figure out where they all go. Ugh. Hate that part. They’re all like tiny. So ideally, I should be able to start ironing together tonight. I’ll be ironing for a while.

The artist talk was very small, but they were nice. We listed to one artist talk about the series of photographs she’d done, which was nice. Then two of us from the show also talked. So maybe 5 minutes? I only took a few photos…but this is the show that opened back in July and I had photos back then.

There are fewer people in the way here though than at the opening. This is Infinite Rivers at the Front Arte Cultura Gallery in San Ysidro.

There’s some interesting artifacts borrowed for the exhibit that work well with the newer pieces.

I have two pieces in the show; it’s up until September 13. It is a really nice show.

That’s all I’ve got. I’m exhausted this week. I have started grading stuff, so it’s downhill from here. Not really; it just feels that way. I am going to the Oceanside Museum of Art tomorrow for their opening; I finally just got a membership so I don’t have to think as hard about whether I want to go…now I have to go to make sure the membership isn’t wasted. So I’m looking forward to that. And hopefully ceramics at some point. And ironing (it’s hot…why do I iron when it’s hot? No one knows.). and I remembered my insulin today, so that’s a plus. Four out of five school days…could be worse.

Seriously Bad Plan

OK, I think I remembered everything for today. Maybe. I’ll find out later if I did. I did come home yesterday and just finished my book. Because I wanted to. I worked too, unfortunately, but that’s a given with this job. You’ll come home and work at least a few nights a week, sometimes all the nights (ugh), or you’ll stay at school or come in really early to do it. Unpaid overtime. Fun times. Yesterday, my job was to get my rosters in order, figure out where all the special ed kids were (I mostly knew that) and read all their IEPs (individualized education plans)…they give us these short versions and they are mostly useless. Also, we have kids who should have these plans and don’t, because no one has ever identified him or the parents don’t want to know. The stigma…is apparently worse than your kid struggling in school. So I have one kid who doesn’t talk and another who never stops and two with Tourette’s but so far, no diabetics, kids who need heart monitors, organ transplants, or vision or hearing issues, beyond the normal “I have glasses but won’t wear them” and “I can’t listen to an adult because my brain is not fully developed”. No cerebral palsy or other diseases that will shorten their lives. We’ve had all of those. And they packed my classes full of neurodivergents, which is kind of my people…although I’m technically not one? Or am I? Hard to say. Art brain is a little whack and no one really tries to categorize it. So my rosters are done, my seating charts are mostly done, the first assignment is mostly handed in, and I’ll have to start grading things soon. Not today. Today I need to plan some during prep with the other two 8th-grade science teachers…and probably doing that for the next few preps. We’ve avoided it so far because brain power low. But we’re gonna have to psych ourselves up and do it. Ugh.

The art is slow right now. I only barely get an hour a night; partly, that’s my fault for reading when I get home and sometimes, if my blood sugar is running high after eating, I have to get on the stationary bike, and you know, one thing I can’t do on that bike is cut out little pieces of fabric. Unfortunately. Because I’d do it if I could, y’all. I totally would. So here’s Monday night…

So close, looking at the bottom of that top box of untrimmed pieces. Also, Nova was still supervising, but from below.

She likes to be around. Then last night, I keep thinking I might finish, but it’s like the box is the same amount of full at the end of the hour…

OK, I know it’s not, because I can see more of the bottom of the box, but do I know for sure that I’ll be done tonight? I do not. And tomorrow night is an artist talk at night, so IDK how much I’ll get done after all that. Ugh. I might be sorting pieces by Friday? And then starting to iron Saturday, but I already know my Saturday night is co-opted, so probably ironing all next week though…I know that. When is the 3-day weekend? I’ll be ironing then. For sure. So close to done!

Last night, I was dogsitting Annie and trying to type up rosters and this is her uncomfortable, need to be right next to me, position.

Yup. Paw touching me. Head down. Blood running into brain. She doesn’t seem to mind.

We ask the kids what they’re most worried about for the year…I did explain that worry is not the same as scared, but I also know who wrote the note on the right and he’s never telling us what he’s worried about. The one on the left is telling though…that’s a 13-year-old.

Me too, friend, me too.

No ceramics the last two days; too tired. I do like owls though.

Makes me want to draw a whole bunch of weird owls. In my spare time. Also I got my kitty’s cremains back and they are in this tiny box. She was so small at the end. At some point before I die, I need to bury all these boxes and cremains of all the animals who have helped me get through all the days…but right now, they live on a shelf in the bedroom. Weird, I know, but whatever. Maybe that’s a drawing in itself, all of them watching over me. Anyway, it was hard to pick those up and then think about going to ceramics, where I might have to interact with humans. Like nah.

So. To school…finishing up the safety assignment and then…well, we’ll see how it goes. Then pilates…my body will appreciate that. Then come home and blessedly not cook, but maybe read and definitely cut things out. MAYBE FINISH THAT. Nah, probably not. We’ll see. Staying up late to finish when I have to get up early tomorrow and have a really long day would be a bad plan…do you hear me, Art Brain? Seriously bad plan.

And There She Is…

People ask me sometimes what inspires my work (or sometimes, why the hell do I make what I make?). It’s just what’s around me…what I see, hear, read…and cats have been in my art since the early days. Kitten was no different. In fact, if I’m correct, she was in 45 of my quilts in the last 17 years. Geez. I must have liked her. Why do I put cats in quilts? They are in my life, my world, on my fabric, literally IN my quilts (that fur, y’all), on my quilts, on my computer, on my book, and they are comfort to me. They lie next to you, on you, claws in your clothes, drooling on your arm, biting you (Kitten bit me so many times, and once I needed antibiotics…she was mad), licking you, making biscuits on your near you, pouncing on your toes, waking you up in the middle of the night, in the morning, bounding on top of you, disrupting your book, your sewing, your ironing, your grading, your sleep, your yoga, and your meditation. Cats are pretty judgmental and often snooty, but they do love and come when they’re called…sometimes. Kitten got out once, through a screen, and disappeared for 24 hours and I freaked out. She came back though. And she swallowed thread once, after 10 years of totally ignoring thread, and cost me over $3000 in the summer to save her life. She had some weird genetic disorder and lost half her teeth, but still ate the hard food happily. She was feisty and sometimes vicious, but loved in the best way ever. And every time I come in here, into my studio, she is not here and I’m having a hard time with that. Do you know that this is the first time I haven’t had a cat (of my own…there are three here who belong to the Man) since I was 22? Yeah. Crazy. And no, I’m not ready for another one. There will be one…just not right now.

Oh man, the old sewing machine. On the left, Limbo, who was also 17 when he died, and Kitten at about 2 years old.

So here’s a retrospective of quilts with Kitten in them (Limbo is in some too…they all end up in the quilts at some point). From oldest to newest.

Disrupted, 2010.

Huge piece, made for the Sightlines exhibit. All the quilts connected with the two smaller pieces on each side.

There’s the detail. I didn’t always put the color behind her eyes…I had simplified cat drawing at some point. But in this one, it looked like her.

Green Tea, 2011.

I hand-dyed that background. Crazy how simple this piece was.

Water, 2012.

Most often, she’s on a shoulder.

And I often picked weird fabrics for the calico parts. A bell? She might have worn a bell in the early days. We did put collars on the cats early on, so we could hear them. Not any more.

Babygirl, 2013.

Interestingly named after another cat we had, an adoptee when my great great aunt died, but Kitten is in this piece, which won a Pussy award.

Earth Day, 2013.

Still simple.

I remember drawing this quilt in a cabin in Julian.

I Gave Already, 2013.

She’s in this one twice…the big plate the woman is holding was a list of all the things that were costing me money at the time.

But she’s also on my shoulder (and Ivy, the dog, is on my hip).

That might have been the year she swallowed thread. Can’t remember.

Wise Choice, 2013.

This is the quilt I made about Planned Parenthood International providing birth control to women who wanted it overseas, who couldn’t get it otherwise. It was considered political (why our bodies are political, I don’t know) and there was some questions about whether it was an OK topic for the show, but the curator, Carolyn Mazloomi, talked to me and said OK. It was my first introduction to Carolyn. This traveled with the Earth Stories exhibit for three years.

Here’s Kitten…

Bottom right, protecting the baby in the basket.

Love (not), 2014.

Rough year.

But there was a cat. Those Australian aboriginal fabrics are one of my favorites for calico cat coloring. So much variety.

Absolutely Nothing, 2014.

War, what is it good for? Yes, that’s a pile of men she’s standing on. Those who freak out about penises in my quilts should count them in this one. And there’s Kitten!

Awakening the Crone, 2014.

The crone, mother, and maiden in this one. Plus cat and owl on a shoulder. Look, barn owls before I had any!

In 2015, I made a bunch of smaller cat quilts and sold them all. The last one sold last year actually. Took it a while because it was the weirdest one. Here is Cat 6, 2015.

Owned by a friend of mine.

Here’s Cat 3, 2015…

One of my favorites.

Cat 2, 2015, owned by my mom…

And Cat 1, 2015, also owned by a friend.

Earth Mother for Ventura, 2015.

One of two quilts where I hid a cat in a boob.

In Deep, 2015.

Ivy the dog is on the right, fully asleep, and Kitten is checking out the bathtub. This is the first of a series of bathtub quilts, and she shows up in all three.

Part Time Oasis, 2015.

I can’t remember who argued the cat should have a heart, but I did add one.

The Goddess of Never-Ending Chaos, 2016.

There’s a lot going on in this piece, but Kitten is sleeping through it. That’s a Kaffe Fassett fabric I think.

Holding It All In, 2016.

Second cat in a breast. This was a response of mine to Earth Mother for Ventura, where I was told I could not have nudity. So this one has nipples. And a uterus. Although one nipple is part of the tiger pattern and one is a flower.

Give Me Time, 2016.

I actually have all the Wonder Under cut out for the head reversed. I somehow flipped the drawing and traced the whole head backwards and had to go back and retrace because the bird wouldn’t fit backwards. Haven’t made it yet.

Finding Peace, 2016.

The next bathtub quilt.

And Then There Was One, 2016.

A remarkably small piece with over 800 pieces in it. Crazy.

All Stacked Up, 2016.

Kitten hated water.

I Can’t Be Your Superwoman, 2017.

Simba is on the right of the stove, and Kitten is on the left AND on the burner.

More than one appearance…

MomSleep 2017.

This is a quilt that actually laid on a bed.

Not Less Than, 2017.

Midnight, our black kitty, died just before I drew this one. She’s on one shoulder…

She looks pissed off. And Kitten is on the other one, playing with a rocket. She was pretty playful until the last 18 months.

Some Like It Hot, 2017.

Calli (the dog) is on the left in this one, but also Kitten, who would occasionally walk on the edge of the bathtub.

We Won’t Go Back, 2017.

More man piles. Probably a penis or two. And Kitten.

Womanscape, 2018.

Yup. She made it into this one too.

Sweet Delicious, 2018.

Based on a poem I wrote.

Portrait of the Artist As a Young Woman, 2018.

Always a cat.

This quilt got stolen from a venue and put in the trash, but someone saw it there and called me. Thank goodness.

Heart-Shaped Box, 2018.

Curled up in a ball, paw over her face.

Bigger in the Outside, 2019.

Back to the shoulder.

Swallow Me Whole, 2019.

Can’t have a quilt about anxiety without a cat in it.

Oh wait, I was reviewing this post, and I found another Kitten in it.

Space Cat, 2020.

These are in order by year, by the way, but not in order within the year. I made this one after I put an astronaut cat in another quilt, Connected at the Hips, 2020.

So this was the first one.

Coronawood, 2020.

No pandemic without Kitten.

Here Comes Life, 2021.

Apparently she shows up for childbirth too.

The Way Out, 2022.

I’m making this one in clay. I think it has a cat too. It does.

Same As It Ever Was, 2022.

Shoulder cat. In real life, she never sat on my shoulder. She rarely sat on me. She was a right-next-to-me cat.

War Zone, 2024.

This was drawn well before 2024 though. The bottom bit was drawn at the end of 2023, but the original drawing was much older. I added to it though.

Seeking the Crone’s Protection, 2024.

That crone deserves a cat. Kitten was a head butter. Even at the end.

Lost in the Trees, 2024.

This was another old drawing made recently into a quilt.

Same fluffy cat that was in War Zone.

Portrait of One Self, 2025.

I mentioned before that Kitten spent the last year getting really sick and we’d think that was it, and then she’d rally. I drew this in one of the really sick stages. Didn’t think she’d survive to the end of making this quilt. Hence the wings.

She’s in here twice too. Another castronaut. Catronaut?

And last, but probably not last…because my brain does what it does…AI Is Not My Friend, 2025, the last quilt I finished with Kitten in it.

The original drawing on the right was repurposed into this drawing, so it’s older.

But there she is. She’s not in the one I’m working on right now, but I can guarantee she’ll show up somewhere in the next few months. Hard to imagine her not being here in the room, and all over my stuff. I’ll be finding her fur in fabric for years, trust me…Midnight’s is still everywhere. And she’s obviously in my heart and mind at the moment. Today is International Cat Day and everyone was posting cats and I’m like, but I don’t have one anymore. But I do. She’s in a whole ton of the things she made, and I even have a quilt my mom made of her. I’ll post that next week. I kind of feel like it was appropriate to spend a few hours today searching through all my work, looking for her. And there she is.

Still Down With It

OK. So I’ve been sick with COVID since Sunday night, apparently (sorry to my plane mates…I didn’t know). Yeah, I should have been masked, although I’m not sure where the girlchild and I both got sick. Hoping today is fever free. I am better…the first few days were very low energy and sleepy. I’m definitely increasing in energy, but was still running fevers yesterday on and off. I’ve canceled/rescheduled the dentist, exercise, lunch, not sure what else. I was planning on getting a booster shot this week, before going back to school. Oh well. Interestingly, the last time I tested positive, I had almost no symptoms. Not so much this time. Lots of sleeping and reading going on, and when I felt more energetic, I started appliqueing wool bits down to the borders of Sue Spargo’s Homegrown.

It’s mindboggling how long this takes.

Once I had tested for COVID, I moved into the girlchild’s room and my office, trying to limit the other people in the house from exposure. Hoping I wasn’t too late. It didn’t even cross my mind when I first started feeling sick. Silly really. The Man starts his new job on Monday and we’re hoping he doesn’t come down with it.

I’ve stitched down all the stuff on the top and bottom borders; I’m doing the side borders now.

Five flowers a side. Big ones. Time-consuming. Not hard though, which is good, because my brain is mostly nonfunctional. Amusingly, I’m also doing my district/state-mandated online trainings today, with about half my brain. Seriously, I’ve experienced over 20 years of integrated pest management and bloodborne pathogen trainings. The assessments are often stupid, making you memorize things that are not useful, like how big an opening a mouse needs to get in a building (all of them were small; you literally had to memorize which small thing they had mentioned in 28 minutes). I’m not saying we don’t need to know these things…it’s just a lot of minutiae.

Back to the stitching…there’s about 85 pieces that need to be appliqued down on the two side borders, and I probably have spent 8 hours so far. Not all of it this week…

Last night, I had Simba on the bed (past his bedtime) and Bowie coming to visit.

I kicked Bowie out later because he keeps climbing on shit and knocking things over.

Sleepy boy.

So I still have a ton of those to stitch down if I need more down time, which I probably do. I’d like to be energetic and well enough to stand in here (I’m in the office right now) and iron things to fabric…the thing I started before I went to San Francisco. I’d also like to have enough energy to go to ceramics, because it’s been a while and I’m worried about my piece. Not much I can do about it at the moment. I’ve had to move a bunch of stuff to next week that was supposed to happen this week, so it’s all of a sudden more full than I like. It is what it is, I guess. It’s now officially August and I have to think about school. Total mindset flip.

Meanwhile, the cats are all exhausted.

And hot…

Kind of with them.

There’s this…

No hubs but…and this is a joke, but I’d rather spend time making art, thanks.

OK, back to mandated reporter videos. I would like to thank them for making up a new complicated story for each year. Just watching this set of videos is traumatic. And having reported more than once, it’s too bad that humans can’t be better across the board. I have one anonymous card that I’ve kept for three years now. I do often wonder about that child and how they’re doing (multiple reports, police were involved, they sent the kid home with parents). Ah yes. And watching this training while thinking about the current government and the Epstein files? WTF. There’s a gap there that cannot be explained.

Sigh. Hopefully no fever today so I can be a little more active…starting tomorrow, I can be out of the house if I have no fever, although I need to track down a mask. Pretty sure there’s one in a purse or bag somewhere, or maybe in the car. I have a million at school…ironically. My gym bag? I’m glad I had enough books and brainless stitching lying around to entertain me, and furry beasts to provide sighs, boofs, and love. And someone to go out and buy more meds and food. Not that food is very exciting at the moment. I’m doing a lot of revising what I eat to get blood sugar to behave (hard when you’re sick). The CGM has been really helpful and I’m glad I finally agreed to it. Insurance is covering it completely, and if I keep up how I’ve been doing, my A1C will be coming down in the next three months. All good. Art. Health. Balance.

Refill the Cup

I really hate my ironing board. I would like a new one, one that doesn’t have sharp metal feet that grab my toes. One that is stable and doesn’t threaten to fall over. That said, when I’ve tried to find ironing boards in the past, they’re even more tippy and unstable than this one…this one was my grandmother’s, I think. It’s ancient. I put a heavy board on top that I use for ironing quilts together, because I need a larger space. At the moment, I have to move it around a lot because I’ve been trying to clean up in here and it’s problematic…I can’t put fabric on one shelf where it used to be, because one of two cats keeps peeing on it. I’m pretty sure it’s the old lady, but it might be the teenaged boy…they regularly are vying over the space. Probably the old lady. I even had piled some towels up that I was using to cover the fabric bins there, and then she peed on those. So. Yeah. I’m having to store bins on the floor and this room is not very big anyway…with two desks, a table, three bookshelves, a computer, a sewing machine, and all my fabric (well, not really ALL my fabric…that’s funny), it’s just crowded. The ironing board is always open and I move it around for what/where I need to use it. And every time I search for a new one, I get sidetracked by options and reviews and can’t make a decision. Because there isn’t an ironing board store I can go to and look at them (OMG I am old), so I have to do it all online, and the thought of trying to return an ironing board makes me break out in hives. So there’s that. But we might be there.

So the stupid stuff, eh? Overwhelming. But I could focus on the big fat ugly bill or Alligator Alcatraz and why we think it’s OK to treat HUMANS that way or the campers missing in Texas after the floods (look! God took the white Christian girls! See, it’s not any better, is it? It doesn’t matter what the kids look like or where they come from…it’s not OK.). Sigh. Certainly didn’t do much celebrating yesterday. My country is broken. OK, it always was broken. Now it’s just more in your face about it. So I’m trying to live my tiny life in the middle of all that. Plus this week, the Man will hear about a job (yes please) and I have a biopsy (ugh) and the girlchild is coming to visit (yay) and I need to pack for my residency (yikes). It’s not the chillest week in the world. My response to that is to read more books. And try to clean and fix more things. With the help of the Ex, the sprinklers are now back up and running. I tried but there needed to be more things fixed than the one I did (it was a valve). The two sprinklers that really weren’t working were totally corroded inside (ah, hard water)…so replacing those (and blowing all the dirt through the system) helped immensely.

This was a big achievement. I’ve had this on my list for months. I replaced one thing and then nothing worked. Sigh. I tried to patch the gap on the deck too, but I couldn’t get the caulk to move. Might just be too old? Frustrating though. So I think I’m going to Home Depot later. Fun times. I ran some errands on Thursday (waited until rush hour like an idiot) and ran into a former student, a not-pleasant reminder of him. I had totally blocked him and his entitlement and his annoying parents (mom mostly) from my mind, and now I need to reblock him. It’s OK. He’s a kid. Even as an adult, I won’t need to deal with him…and maybe he’ll get a clue by then. He’s smart, just spoiled.

So artwise, I’ve been sort of efficient. I’ve made it to the ceramics studio more times than usual, which is good.

A bunch of stuff fell/broke (I think it gets bumped on the shelf) and I had to fix a lot, but I got the greens done. Went back yesterday and reattached and reglazed stuff that broke, but that damn hand broke off again.

I’m close though. Almost there. Honestly, it’s glazed except for the flagpole and reglazing all the broken stuff.

I just need to finish it and get it in the kiln. Like this week. Hopefully.

I pinbasted my Sue Spargo Folk Tails, which has been done since 2020? I think? Seriously.

Mostly I hadn’t done it yet because I wanted to finish the bird one first (the bigger one) before stashing a bunch of safety pins in something that would just sit in a pile for a while. It’s a challenge to quilt this…mostly because I need to go AROUND everything. Not hard, just a pain. So it’s next on my list to finish this summer. But before I do that, I’m trying to piece together the improv piece I did on Zoom with Irene Roderick…

It’s all these random shapes that need to fit together, and then I need to make it into a rectangle shape. So I worked on that yesterday. I have it all in three pieces at the moment, with a freaking Y seam (not the first). Almost there. This is so not my style, and I realized at Quilt National that all the Irene people’s quilts look similar, so I’m deciding how to make it mine. I’m trying to finish this so I can take the design board on my residency next week. Whatever gets it done, right? I could probably finish putting the top together today.

Then I cut out all the wool/cotton bits for the side borders of Homegrown (another Spargo…yeah, I enjoy making them), pinned them on, and am slowly stitching them all down. I won’t get this one done in 2025. Bet.

The embroidery will take forever and then I’ll put it in a pile for a year or two before deciding to quilt it. Let’s be real. It’s not about the finished product; it’s totally about the making.

In art quilt news, I’m still tracing Wonder Under…

The dirt was a lot of big pieces, and then I had a bunch of little pieces that fit in between all those big pieces.

I tried a bund of people and then started tracing gravestones. Right when those dumbasses passed a bill kicking a ton of real live people off Medicare. Including one I live with…yeah, it won’t take effect until after the November elections, and hopefully he’ll have a job by then, but there’s a lot of people who can’t work or can’t find work. So we aren’t taking care of people any more unless they’re so rich they don’t really need to worry about it.

Last night, I made it into the low 600s…of 1366.

Not even halfway. I was hoping to be done with tracing today, but I would have had to be way more focused than I have been for that to happen. So maybe that’s the other thing I’m doing today. I’m still only on the second yard of Wonder Under…lots of small pieces to drive me nuts later.

My little quilt made it to my SIL for her birthday.

I love the location.

I lost the dog in the ferns…he likes to pee in there.

Really, this is yet another part of the yard I need to control. Ha! This yard is beyond my ability. I’d need a gardener and even then…

I found these guys (screamed a little because a bunch were on my shirt) while trimming shit.

They become some kind of beetle. But for now, they are in the greenery trash can.

I saw this…and yes, I feel like I need that but also, no I’m not doing that.

I’m putting it here for when I’m really old and retired and maybe bored (will I ever be bored?). That dissociative state is looking nice.

Although honestly, making art helps with that. And it’s too hot for sweatpants, but the other night, I found myself tracing Wonder Under with shorts and a tank top on, but also fuzzy socks, because my feet were cold. Love old body. It’s so inconsistent.

This.

So frustrating. Incredibly.

Simba after three hours of fireworks on THURSDAY night (not even the 4th, y’all). He barked the entire time. And I was tracing stuff, so I wasn’t making him feel safe.

Last night, he was better…only a little. Mostly because the boychild was back. For how long? We never know. His sister is coming to visit, so if previous years are anything to go by, he’ll be sent to some fire this week.

This is amazing. This is Liberty Bleeds by Niki McQueen.

I wish I had enough wall space for her work (it’s available as posters to benefit the ACLU)…it reminds me of my own stuff, the cutting open part.

I think Nova is the big softie that both Luna and Bowie turn to for love and safety.

Luna is so paranoid. And it’s hot, so it’s funny when they curl up together, because I’m like, don’t fucking touch me, it’s hot. And yet there’s always a cat or a dog (or both) next to me.

This is always true.

So yeah. I think I already decided I’m piecing things and tracing things today. The Man has a show tonight downtown, so I’m probably riding the trolley down and then getting a ride back. Their regular lead singer has ‘quit’ (we hope not permanently), so they’re borrowing a singer from another band. Should be interesting. Luckily they are the opening band, so it’s not a midnight thing. I’m too old for that stuff? That’s a lie; I happily stay up past midnight doing art things. I just don’t like mornings. My goal for the week? Be chill. Stay chill. Make the things. Find the supplies for next week. So excited for next week. Meal planning now. And making sure I have materials. I don’t want to get up there and realize I need one chemical I left at home. Inevitably I will forget something though. Truth. 33 days until school. I can’t find a countdown timer that works with the iphone widget or whatever they’re calling it now. Frustrating. That and the ironing board problem are an issue for another day though. Right now, I need to eat, shower, and do some stuff that refills the cup. Or something. Finds the spoons.

It Seems Like Enough…

I know, I know, I’m writing super late. I worked this morning. And afternoon. And I didn’t want to get up super early, so I got the photos resized for the post and that was it. And then I did more work when I got home. So here I am, remembering I was supposed to write today. Which pretty much sums up Summer Break for a teacher. Yes, I did teacher stuff today. My co-teacher and I usually try to plan during the summer, just to get a handle on things we want to change for next year. Sometimes we get paid, but we aren’t this year. I think. Who knows? New principal. No one has a clue what’s going on. We’re backwards planning to make sure we have time to teach natural selection and evolution, the last unit, and then revising the first two units…three units. Well, we’re not gonna get all that done in two 4-hour sessions, for sure. But we’ll have a pretty good start.

So the weekend…I worked on the drawing…finishing up the bottom part on Friday night.

Mostly anyway. Then Saturday evening, I put some planets in the sky…

Bowie was absolutely no help.

Last night, I finished up some stuff around the planets and called it done, although I may change my mind about that tonight.

And then I started numbering, but I didn’t finish.

I knew I had to get up in the morning, so staying up until 2 AM writing numbers would be a bad plan, right? Don’t ask Summer Brain…they’re like all in with Art Brain and don’t give a shit that I can’t sleep in. So I was going to finish numbering this afternoon and totally that hasn’t happened. But maybe after I finish this.

I also finished the binding and sleeves on this during my local SAQA Zoom meeting…

Shitty picture, I know. Ah well. Need a place to hang it up now.

On Saturday, I also finished a present for my SIL…in October or so last year, to test the new Wonder Under, I made a small flying heart. She saw in online and asked for it for Christmas, but like finished, you know. A thing. So I said yes and then promptly lost it. I didn’t really lose it. I hung it up in my studio/office and then hung a drawing up in front of it, so I couldn’t see it and forgot it was there. For like three months. I found it in January when I took the drawing down…not right away though…it took me a few weeks before I saw it. Then I figured, oh, I’ll give it to her for her July birthday, so instead of making something out of it like right then (like a sane person), I procrastinated until Saturday and then finished it.

I mailed it today. It’ll be late. Ah well.

Saturday was also the wedding of a coworker to one of my former students. Weird, huh? Here’s all the teachers…

The bride is younger than my daughter. I’m laughing because Stace is grabbing my ass. She’s smirking in the back. We did not all plan to wear blue and green. Seriously.

And here’s one of my former 7th graders, now a nice young man who cried during the ceremony, making him one of my favorite guys forever.

Seriously…raise your boys to be able to cry at emotional events.

I did some ceramics stuff on Friday…more painting.

I keep breaking things off dammit. So I’m trying to get it all underglazed before more breaks. Not sure when I’m going in again. Tomorrow? Hopefully…if I’m not as braindead as I was today after lesson planning for four hours.

That’s too true.

I love this.

There’s so much negative shit out there right now. I love the little bits of fuck off I see happening. Because I just got my measles booster because of that idiot.

OK, normally this is where I’d say what I’m doing for the rest of the day, but it’s 6 PM and I just fed the dog. I might go do some yardwork because it’s cooled off a little. I did some digging (against the gophers) yesterday. Need more gravel to fix what they did. Sigh. Should probably water first. I’ll be numbering shit tonight and then hopefully starting to trace. It would be nice if I was done with tracing and trimming by Monday, and then ironed to fabric by the time I leave for my residency. Taking stuff to trim is always a good thing. I can’t think beyond that. I want to finish my book? Probably not happening tonight. But soon. Oh I entered a residency for next summer…hopeful?! I think that’s it. It seems like enough, doesn’t it?