2021…Get Out of Here…

Well hello the last day of 2021. You were supposed to be nicer. You promised. But we know how that goes, yah? I have no expectations of 2022. None. Nada. Nichts. Oh, except that I will have US District Court jury duty in July…because they wanted me to do a month-long trial in February and after sobbing to myself about lesson plans and grading, I called them and they moved it to July. I guess every three years I lose half my Summer Break to the court system. It’s seriously difficult to plan for all the doctors’ appointments and other shit I can’t do during the school year when you only have 3 weeks for that. I’m so irritated by the whole thing. BUT…I’m not doing it in February. Let’s not think about whether I’ll be able to meet the man on the trail at all in July. Seriously. Fuck.

So I am now about 2/3s of the way through my Winter Break. I have graded exactly nothing, we did finish the stupid tobacco curriculum yesterday (in case you wanna know, 5 lessons = 10 hours of work), and we planned the first week back. All good. Not great, just good. It had to happen and we were pretty damn efficient about it, but I was still awake at midnight last night thinking it needs another readthrough. There’s probably a mistake in it and I don’t wanna listen to some other teacher bitch about that, but I’m amazed at how shittily written the original curriculum was (from Stanford University, no less). I swore at Stanford a lot yesterday.

I am on my third readthrough on the book I’m copyediting, which I wanted to be done tomorrow, but then the author sent the missing bits yesterday, so yeah. I won’t be. I might be. I don’t fucking know if I will be. It depends on today. And tomorrow. And what I decide I need/want to do besides copyediting. My brain is just like gross foam on a latte that’s gone cold. Sorta sticky. Not good.

I haven’t started quilting yet, so there’s no way it will be done in 2021. That’s OK. I did crazy piece a notebook cover for my quilt guild’s 2022 challenge…

And then I embellished the front part…

I still need to do the lining and sew it so it will fit on the notebook…no worries. So yeah, totally brainless stuff. I drew last night too…

After watching the Witcher episode with that tree monster. Don’t ask me to explain what’s happening in the second season of the Witcher…I have no fucking clue.

I did finish the book that the library sucked back last night…stayed up late on Wednesday night to do it, of course, and then the library sent me ANOTHER big (but not THAT big) book I’ve been waiting for…

God, fuck copyediting and cleaning house and any NYE plans, right? Just read this. I actually went to the gym for a couple of hours and got a good start on it. I know what my brain can handle…and it’s not much.

It’s fine. My district gets three weeks for Winter Break. I can spend all next week grading shit, right? Ugh.

While I was at school, working, the Man photographed this from the house.

Missed it. Looks nice.

Yes, I am crankballs. Why do you ask?

So I finished 8 pieces in 2021…the 9th is in there too. I couldn’t get the Top Nine app to work or any of the others, so I just made my own.

I do usually do a page with all my pieces and titles…I’ll probably do that over the weekend, because most of these pieces don’t fit in a square. Much like us.

Well, the cat was happily ensconced on the chair behind me, purring away, then started scratching shit and bit me three times on the back. What the fuck. I do not believe I am bleeding. And then there was a huge spider on the floor. ALIVE. Not any more, you fucker. Fuck 2021 man. Get OUT of here. I am so done with you.

Deep breaths. I need a shower and more caffeine and some exercise. Plus some focus.

This is too close to the truth.

And if you don’t have a planning period, your lunch should be long enough.

Thanks to my co-teacher for these. Don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

OK. Going to go shower and then go to Costco. Probably not the best choice for today’s mood, but whatever. Also have some gravel to move. That’s exciting. We are going to a super small NYE gathering later tonight…everyone is boosted and seriously, there are only 5 of us including me and the Man…but yes, I am still nervous. Hoping my mood improves before then, but ugh. Gonna go yell at the cat a bit I think…WTF, she’s rubbing her head on my leg. She’s squawking her sorries at me. Fucking psycho. Aargh.

The Burnout Section…

Finally. A morning with no doors opening and people talking at 5 AM. Sure, they’re going to work, so it’s a legit reason (plus everyone in my house is on East Coast time?) and so will I (notionally…I sit here at the computer and copyedit in my pajamas, plus I can pee whenever the fuck I want, so it’s not my real day job)…but it’s nice to have a morning when that noise doesn’t wake me up. Most mornings, the 5 AM wakeup isn’t too bad. I grab the dog, throw him into bed, and go back to sleep for another hour or so, but sometimes I just toss and turn and it’s hopeless. Sigh. I love being a light sleeper…not. I’m jealous of those who put their heads on a pillow and then they’re OUT. And they’re OUT until the alarm goes off. I’ve never been like that. Certainly I’m not now.

So yeah, I’ve been copyediting every day for a few hours, banging through this book. More today. My brain running through all the words and trying to find the bad ones. Ironically I was on the burnout section yesterday afternoon. Oh yeah. That. Then running errands, delivering quilts, doing some science planning (like you do on vacation), reading my book, grading some stuff, making a million pancakes (I do that often; solves my morning food issues…don’t have to THINK…just grab and eat). My to-do list is VAST. I have done hardly anything on it. I have added things to it though, because that makes sense. Ugh. Today I will try to cross some things off of it. Just for fun.

So I have been doing some stitchdown…I’m at about 5 hours and getting close to done. In fact, I’ll probably finish tonight.

I think I have the rest of an arm, plus a head, and then the sky. Not hard to do. Then clean the floor, piece a backing, hope I have enough batting (I could check that…did I just add to the to-do list? Fuck me.), then sandwich and pinbaste.

Wait a minute. I might be able to finish this by the end of the year. But do I want to? It’s better if it has a 2022 date on it…gives me more time to get it seen. I think. We’ll see.

I’m still drawing every night. I’m really enjoying the long and skinny challenge here…

In both directions…

Although that volcano is a bit too penisy. I was thinking of a drawing one of my science teacher friends was showing me. Ah well. Not every drawing is perfect, that’s for sure. That’s the cool part about drawing MORE is that I get to work stuff out on paper instead of in my head.

Half the time that I’m sitting on this chair, Kitten is sitting behind me, wondering why the chair isn’t big enough for both of us.

And squawking about it. It makes things a bit uncomfortable, but she’s an old lady and I love her, so I put up with it. Honestly, I spend most nights delicately moving my body around two other cats so I don’t disturb them, so I’m just an old cat lady.

We have this hole in the wall (we were looking for a potential leak, long story), and Luna keeps staring into it, like there’s a giant bug in there (there might be).

Sure, I could fix the wall, but I have on my to-do list (not for this week) remodeling the bathroom, so why fix it if I’m going to tear it all out in 10 years, right? Sigh. OK. I might fix it, but there are other things currently on the list that are higher priority.

Anyway, I’m delivering another quilt today (realized a few days ago that there were only shipping dates and I live in town, so why would I ship it?), plus finally seeing the shows at Visions, plus more copyediting, lots more, and IDK what else. Honestly I just want cookies and ice cream, but exercise is probably a better choice. I think I have pilates later. Yeah. I do. And I found more batting, so I don’t have to go to JoAnns three days before Christmas (oh hallelujah, angels sing on high). I have mostly avoided the mall this year, which is good. Trying to keep that mood going, but might need to get meat from Costco later, which scares me (Costco, not the meat)…but whatever. Yeah. Happy holidays y’all…hope it’s full of lights and family and food and healthy people with vaccinations and all that. And art. Lots of art.

I Appreciate Breaks…

Hi Monday. You can’t make me go to school today. Ha ha! OK, I’ll probably grade some stuff, and I’m definitely working (copyediting), but the million kid-related, district-related decisions are gone and I don’t have to wear a mask for 8 hours. That’s all good. Yes, I will be at school next week for two days. I own that. And I’m doing school-related things tomorrow too, but it’s a break. I appreciate breaks. I would appreciate them more if all the animals would let me sleep in, but that’s on me, right? I choose to have these furry beasts, and one of them now is on the boychild’s hellaciously early sleep schedule, and it’s OK, because I will get to sleep in on Wednesday morning. I hope. I think. Who knows. I don’t sleep well most nights anyway. Saturday I did. Or maybe Friday. All the way through. No bathroom, no tossing and turning, just blissful sleep. For hours. Gotta love it.

So quilt-wise, I have been doing the stitchdown…

I actually broke the foot on Friday night…it’s old. That’s a break that I don’t appreciate. It’s from the old machine. So I ordered a new one, and it arrived Sunday.

So I wasn’t going to do this on Saturday anyway, and it worked out. I’m probably halfway, maybe more than halfway done…with a little less than 4 hours in.

The back…

It takes a little practice with a new machine, getting settings right, figuring out the tricks. I’m getting there. I still don’t think I’m finishing this in 2021 though. I can get it pinbasted and start the quilting, and maybe even finish the quilting, depending on the other shit that I don’t know about yet that hasn’t yet appeared on my calendar but inevitably will…but no way am I getting the binding on as well. So that’s OK. I’m OK with it being the first 2022 finish. It’s not like the abortion issue is going away.

The next quilt is already designed in my head. It needs to get down on paper.

Speaking of paper, I like to try doing a Drawing a Day over Winter Break. I had some weird-shaped sketchbooks I bought years ago…and you know how those things become precious, so it’s hard to even open them and draw in them. Well I started drawing in them. They’re not THAT weird…just different sizes/proportions to my usual ones. So hopefully some differently sized quilts in the future?

I just randomly draw…this one is a good example of random.

It’s different than drawing for a quilt theme or idea that I have. I just let the brain spill onto the paper. How do I fill all the spaces? What goes here? It’s good practice. I wish I could find a way (time!) to do it more often.

So there’s three. I think there are 24 days of Winter Break…we’ll see if I get all 24. It’s OK if I don’t. The second sketchbook is really long and narrow. I’ll try one of those tonight. Speaking of tonight, the girlchild is arriving. She’s working while she’s here…hey, so am I! But it will be nice to have her around for a week. Although I’m realizing that not only do I have to finish cleaning her room (I started yesterday with the quilts and the crazy quilt fabric), but I need to clean off her workspace…which is currently MY workspace. Well, one of them. So there we are. No worries. I was thinking the other night though as the Man was blasting metal on YouTube and I just wanted to sit and read my book (in peace, no metal) that I should get a nice chair and put it in the girlchild’s room for just such occasions. But I’m not sure they happen enough. I could put it in MY bedroom too. I guess. There’s so much cleaning and getting rid of stuff that needs to happen first though. Ugh.

OK. Well, let’s not make more work for right now. Today is a busy one. I have three quilts going to Escondido for the California Fibers exhibit that opens at the California Center for the Arts on January 20. I spent an hour yesterday dehairing and ironing quilts and getting them packed up while on the phone with a friend. Then I realized I had to make a tactile page for that show…I knew I had a block I’d made a million years ago (seriously, in 2001, before I really kept track of shows even), so I searched and found it, and then used it and some other lost bits to make a tactile page…

Done! I was worried about getting that finished. So I’m driving those up in a few hours. Then copyedit for a while, clean up the desk and the bedroom for the girlchild, probably wash her bedding too, and IDK what else. Then more stitchdown before driving to the airport. All good. Check the to-do list in the calendar to confirm there aren’t 17 other things to do (there are).

The Man and I finished the Coast to Crest challenge for 2021/2022 on Saturday. There was one longer hike up up up a mountain…

Miners Loop to go up to Black Mountain.

It wasn’t bad. I wouldn’t want to do it in the summer, but that’s true of most local peaks, unless it’s nighttime.

It has a nice loop in the middle. Not ALL loop though.

Then we did the one hike we hadn’t done, which was less than 2 miles…

Because driving all the way up to Del Mar for a tiny hike seemed stupid. And then we went to a local brewing company for a celebratory drink and view of the moon rising.

Could’ve done without all the screaming kids, but whatever. The Man is pointing at Black Mountain, where we hiked.

I guess we have reached that age where we’d like all the young families to go somewhere else to entertain their kids. Ah well. Anyway, we’ll get our patch and sticker for finishing the challenge. And then have to decide what our hikes are from here on out. We bagged a peak anyway…one I’d already bagged. It’s all good.

Shockingly, Saturday night I didn’t have much energy for anything else, so I worked on sewing bits down.

Just a few pieces left on these. This part is totally brainless. The embroidery? Not so much.

OK, I need my shower and more tea. Kitten agrees…

Mostly because she wants my chair. She always wants my chair. She prefers to push me off it. She’s eyeballing it right now. OK. Shower. Tea. Cleaning. Driving. Copyediting. Monday. Not at school though. We need the break.

Forgot a Title…Must Be Friday…

Hey. Friday. You’re here finally. Thank you for coming. Can I get you something? A cup of tea (because we’re all exhausted here)? A donut (because it’s been a rough week)? Maybe just a hug (wait, no, are you vaccinated?)? It has been a trying week in science…hopefully next week will be a little easier (fewer lab materials to fuck with). I still have trays of sand in my room trying to dry out, ironic on a week when it was almost 100 degrees out. It’s OK…today I have to tape a bunch of containers so they don’t fall apart in class and remind myself to buy new ones for next year, and then keep kids from fighting over dice, but also follow the game the way they’re supposed to, plus deal with an aide who keeps taking her break in the middle of a lab (ugh, really?) and then doesn’t talk to me about it (oh honey, please). I wonder though…I don’t get a break during the day? It’s because I make the big bucks, right? I don’t need to pee ever apparently because of how much I get paid. Yah, thanks to my co-teacher for coming down during her prep and watching my art kids so I could pee before I burst. Sigh.

Being back in person is nice because the hands-on stuff is way easier in person…but the behaviors of kids who didn’t have the opportunity to misbehave in person for 18 months is trying. Plus the hours of lesson planning and pandemic contracts for kids who are out and grading because kids are figuring out that grades are a real thing. I’m going to be grading all day tomorrow to catch up. Maybe Sunday too, although that’s when I usually make all the posts for the week. We’ll see how that goes. I did take a break last night for about 2 hours to stitch on Zoom with friends, and managed to finish the binding and sleeves on the newest quilt…

She’s going to the photographer this weekend, hopefully to be seen in a venue near you soon. I haven’t figured the hours taken to make her yet, but I’m sure it’s a lot.

Then I ate dinner and worked until almost 10:30, making a doc and posts for next week. I got tested for COVID again too. Although there have been no known positive cases in my class this week (yet…still have today to get through), the man has symptoms (with two negative tests) and his positive exposure was more exposed than mine usually are. My kids mostly wear their masks and I always wear mine. So he might not be playing in a show tonight…better to be safe than sorry these days.

We are doing Back-to-School Night, but with one parent per family. No kids. Sounds exhausting.

Also this is so so true…

Some things never change.

So for quilting, I have a small Patreon reward quilt that needs a binding on it, then I have to finish two small community blocks for my quilt guild, and then the machine goes back to Mom, hopefully Saturday or Sunday. And I draw the next quilt…after I finish embroidering the SJSA block and send it off. I don’t know what the next deadlines are on my list, but I’m leaning toward another women’s rights quilt. It’s largely drawn in my head…just need to get it out on paper. But first? Work. Be efficient. Get progress report grades done. Try to relax a little this weekend (not sure when or how) and maybe finish my book…reading has not been happening enough and it sucks. Next week should be more chill…hopefully.

So Behind…

Woke up. Good plan. Should learn not to check email until I get to school. Yeah right. I check email right away. Hence school stress as soon as I got in the shower. I am so behind. What should I have done last Saturday? Graded all day. But nah, I quilted. I know it was the right choice, but right now it feels like I can’t balance the day job and the art, let alone things like watering plants and getting the cat’s meds. If I could remember/find time to make the phone call, someone else would go get them. I set an alarm on my calendar yesterday and totally didn’t see it. Ah well. Again today. But waking up and into an impending sense of doom is not helpful. Deep breaths. I will be efficient today. I was efficient yesterday…I just had more to do than I could get done. And 20,000 steps by the end of the day without a hike/walk.

The pro is that I got into another show with two pieces going to Chandler, Arizona in November. I shipped the piece to Quilts=Art=Quilts…tight turnaround on that one, so I stayed up late on Monday getting it boxed up. Should of done it over the weekend. Ah well. It will get there. I’m entering another couple this week, if I can get my act together. Plus this quilt is almost done…got the binding sewn on Monday night…

Calli has been licking her legs, so she got coned.

Last night, I pinned the 308 inches of binding and sleeves down and started the hand-stitching.

Because it’s awesome to have a quilt on your lap when it’s 98 degrees during the day. It will cool down tomorrow, but I’ll be almost done by then, I think. Photographer is set up for the weekend. I made the deadline. I didn’t think I would, but I did. Fucking miracle. Damn day job is kicking my ass. Yes, it has been for over a year now.

This picture of Haitians coming into the US (or going back into Mexico…could be either) just kills me. Yeah, I saw the horseman chasing the guy too, but seriously.

Why are we not the country that just opens our arms and takes care of people? Why do we suck so much? I’m so not OK with my country at the moment. Dumb policies. We are humans. We should take care of other humans.

Sigh.

OK, so I also watered everything last night in the almost dark. I’ve been looking for these guys on the lemon tree, because we had them last year…

Yeah, those are little baby ones. Here’s the ugly big ones that turn into Swallowtail butterflies…

Yes, they look like bird poop. Weird but true. Also, my lemons are growing!

Hopefully my first crop of them on this tree. Exciting.

So today is more labs, more running around, more trying to catch up. Then some actual exercise. And then a lot of hand stitching. And grading, honestly…I gotta do some of that. Sigh. It will get better…it always does. Knock on wood. I just have so many things I’m behind on…and I need to get caught up.

Quilted!

I did pretty well in the last few days…finished quilting the big monster and the little late one. Got a new loaner computer that doesn’t randomly shut down and is significantly faster…interesting that they said about the first pile of shit, “This is the only loaner we have,” and then a much better one surfaced when that one proved to be unreliable. It’s good. I was about to call the superintendent. It sucks that all my downloads are on the other one…I forgot about that. Plus my stickies. Sigh. Those don’t save to a cloud…they save to the device. We are so spoiled these days. I did photograph the old stickies, then remade them on the first loaner, and am too paranoid to remake them on the second loaner because maybe that’s what killed the other two. I know, crazy. Superstitious!

I started quilting Friday night and put three hours in before bed…

With help. Damn, honey, that’s my chair. Yes, she’s talking back.

Saturday, I did some school stuff in the morning and then sat down at the machine around 1:30 PM.

I got up a bunch of times to stretch, pee, make tea, run around a bit, but basically staying there for the next 6 1/2 hours.

The Man had a show, and I had nothing better to do (well, don’t tell the day job that…I have a shit ton of grading and progress reports are due in a week).

So after about 9 hours of quilting in 24 hours, I was done.

I trimmed her last night and found some binding fabric…

That was not an easy process. I shopped in the stash, but I needed more than half a yard, and that’s what I usually buy. I thought a green would work, and it probably would have, if I’d had enough of the right one, so I ended up with a blue.

I also quilted the Patreon reward piece. I’ll get it trimmed and bound tonight, hopefully, plus get the binding and sleeves on the other one, then piece my quilt guild blocks, and then I can get the machine back to my mom and plan the next quilt. It’s big. Dedicated to Texas and rich white men and their penises. Sigh. Stupid people trying to monitor uteri. Can’t wear a mask, but can point a finger at a woman who is only half of the issue…and has a damn good reason. So irritated with this country at the moment.

Anyway. Lots of work needs to happen today. We’ll see how it goes. I wish I had a personal laptop I could use to grade while the loaner plays today’s video…then the next three days are all high-maintenance labs. But then home to get these quilts done. Good thing.

Shutting Down Randomly

I don’t know what you do when you come home from work, especially after a long frustrating day where you had planned specific work tasks after the kids went home and then your loaner computer (because yours is hopefully getting fixed as it keeps shutting down randomly) shuts down randomly (wait, I think I heard that already) about six times in a row, trying so hard to restart like a good computer would, and then giving up the ghost and popping up that message again about how it can’t possibly restart, there’s something very wrong with it (no duh asshole). So after getting it to start and working on grades and contracts for kids out on COVID or pandemic concerns, and finally coming home around 6 PM, and then getting dinner (that was the best part, away from the house, although it was dark, hard to see the food, one of the issues with always eating outside, you know, it gets dark and all), then mopping a floor, sewing a backing together, ironing all the parts, taping them to the floor, and then getting down on hands and knees at 9:45 PM, wondering if this is the year you buy knee pads, like you’re really an old person now, and pinbasting a quilt together.

Sometimes I wonder about the amount of power my art brain has to get my tired old teacher ass off the couch and doing all that shit after 8 PM on a day when I had no prep period. On a day when the 6th graders decided to sharpen the metal end of a pencil in my new $92 sharpener that can handle colored pencils, and yes, I think I know who did it and hopefully I scared the shit out of him. Certainly if there are any other issues, that thing is sitting on my desk and they can pay me to use it. Yeah. It was a day. I’m kind of on the verge of tears constantly again, and I hate that. So part of this weekend will be quilting instead of thinking about work. A large part of it will also be grading, let’s be honest; grades are due soon for progress reports, so I can’t blow it off.

But here we go. Book club got rescheduled on Wednesday. Luckily I checked the app right before I left, so I didn’t actually leave. I worked instead and fed myself with leftovers from Saturday (probably a mistake to go that extra day, says my 2 AM stomach), and then finished the stitchdown…

That’s 5 1/2 hours worth of stitching.

I can see the figures on the back…

On the front, they are hard to see. Hopefully the quilting will help with that. That starts tonight. Here’s all taped down on a clean floor…

The backing is some fabric I found in my stash, quite a lot of it actually.

It seemed right for a quilt about hiking etc. The etc. is kind of a big part of this quilt.

So far, Mom’s machine is rocking it. Much appreciated.

I also did the stitchdown on my Patreon reward, which is really late now…

That only took 13 minutes though. Much easier. I’ll pinbaste her this weekend too. But my goal is to finish quilting and get the binding on this weekend. I don’t know if I can do that. But I will try. We’ll see.

I have an opening a week from today…two pieces in the show…

PHES Gallery is in Carlsbad, California. It’ll be a bit of a drive. No COVID test that day. With 1-2 positive cases in my classes every week, I’m still getting tested every week. Two new ones this week. Woo hoo!

These are drawings I did at dinner while waiting for the food to come. I can’t remember if I’ve posted any of these.

My pen died, so this is ballpoint…

It works. It’s just not fun.

I don’t think when I do these. I just draw.

Sometimes it will turn into something else in a larger piece…mostly not.

I think I will actually get limes and lemons this fall…they seem to be sticking.

Certainly they’re bigger than they have been…

And there’s more to come.

OK, today shouldn’t be too hard (ha!), at least the school part, except I need to get everything posted for school. My co-teacher is out of town, so I’ve been making lab materials for next week. The copier ran out of staples, so I need to staple 290 packets before Tuesday. I’m hoping to find some classroom helpers today who are done with shit to do that. Work after school, bring a ton of work home, get my COVID test for the week, do some grading, possibly do a quilt Zoom, then quilt until I fall asleep, hopefully in a bed and not on the machine. Tomorrow, repeat. Plus some other stuff. I’ll be glad to get the quilting started…I didn’t think I’d be able to finish this one on time, and now there’s a chance of it…I’m going for it.

Up into the Sky…

Good news…got into a show. Womanscape is going to Quilts=Art=Quilts, so you can see it there.

Bad news…one of the shows I was in has canceled due to COVID. OK news…they’re trying to find a new place to travel the exhibit. So what do I do the last two nights? Enter two more shows. Always doing that. But between that, the paperwork part of being an artist, and my day job, I haven’t made it to the sewing machine much. That is frustrating. And today won’t be much better…

I managed a whopping 45 minutes on Monday night and zero minutes last night.

I am up in the sky, which is significantly less complicated than the shit down below (on the quilt and in real life, right?), so it shouldn’t take much time. That said, I have exercise class and book club (in person!) tonight, so the odds of my having any mental or physical energy left when I get home is low. So tomorrow it is. Goals adjust. I want to be done, but I can’t magic that into happening. I have a shit ton of school work to do as well, so that’s not helping. I did come in here, into the studio last night to do some stitching, but then entered a show and did some other paperwork for art, and yes, did a few things for school…

Because I walked/hiked earlier…3.4 miles. I needed it.

Last week I hardly did anything (granted it was hot and that doesn’t help)…walking all day at school doesn’t count. Although it does…just not as much as I’d like.

Hello friend.

It was big. And didn’t stop coming toward me until I said Hi.

Anyway, I didn’t cook either, bless those who live with me, but after I’d finished eating and we were still watching the show of the night (which is from a comic book I actually read…well, the first few anyway…I’d read them again), I needed something to work on, so I pulled out the scarf I started on Sunday in class. I really SHOULD have pulled out the SJSA block and just gotten it done, but I didn’t. I will. I promise. It needs to get done. Lots of things need to get done. Ugh.

Kitten for sizing. So this is going to be covered in stitching, mostly running stitch. I wanted to get the outline in so I could start adding parts, like veins and a heart and fingernails and lungs if I decide to do that. I have no idea what’s going to be going on around her, but it will be cool. Now that there’s an outline, I don’t need to mark things…I think. Makes it easier. OK, maybe need to mark the heart and the eyeball…and the hair? I don’t know…we’ll see. Fun stuff. Great way to use up all the thread I have…except you know it won’t use ALL of it up. This is almost all of one card of perle cotton. I’ve got about a million more.

And at the end, being Californians, we checked the news.

Oh yeah. Good thing. All politicians suck in many ways, but Larry Elder? Fuck me. He would have devastated the schools. All the things that help my kids, my students? Yeah, gone. Dumbassery. For all the talk of Newsom being heavy-handed with the pandemic, I’d rather be here than in Florida. Our numbers are better. Yes, we’d like to solve the homeless problem and make houses more affordable, but that’s not one guy…that shit has been around through Democrats and Republicans and unless we become much more socialist (oooh…bad word) than we are, it’s not changing. Voting one guy out and replacing him with a talk-show host who is an absolute idiot is not how to solve that shit. Let’s remember which party likes to help people more when the next gubernatorial election comes up. Hopefully we’ll have someone on the ticket who has some plans for that. The fewer rich white guys in charge, the better. The fewer totally unqualified, inexperienced, mouthy assholes in charge, also better.

OK, so today is early in, plan like a whirling dervish, work hard all day, be efficient as hell, hope no one co-opts my prep period so I can actually get the 19 contracts completed and off my computer that need to be done apparently by Friday, plus probably fill out at least one more I saw pop up yesterday…plus work out and then hang out (outside) with my book club friends. What book is it? Dunno. I read it…just don’t remember which one it was. Probably it doesn’t matter. Stitch down if I can tonight…I’m so close to done.

Thanks Mom…

OK. There were some successful moments over the weekend. I took my machine in, and he still thinks it’s fixable (if it’s not, there’s a plan…it’s a scary plan, but a plan nonetheless). Meanwhile, I borrowed my mom’s machine, which someone said looks like a spaceship.

It is huge. It has its own suitcase. It weighs a ton. But it works. I had to read 5 bits of the manual about threading and bobbins and free-motion quilting and tension, but it works. Hallelujah. I stitched down Saturday night and Sunday night and can probably finish that tonight (knock on wood).

It’s so lovely not to fight tension for this…there are some fussy bits and adjustments going on, but they are easy to make.

Such a relief. Thanks mom. I’m going to get this thing quilted and done as quick as possible so she can have her machine back.

Although I still have a Patreon reward I’m trying to finish…Friday night, I ironed it together.

I like her. She’s small.

And then on Sunday morning, I got up early and took a Zoom class from Judy Coates Perez for Craft Napa…slow-stitching a scarf…ah, meditation.

I really am appreciating online classes…because I wouldn’t be able to go in person.

Ah yes, I am doing a woman. But all of it will be filled in with stitching. I’m gonna be here a while. But it’s so nice. I’m tempted to bring it to my staff meeting today (it’s two hours), but I suspect that’s not appropriate. Too bad. They say ‘self care’ but I’m not sure how much they mean it. Like ‘self care’ but only if you get all the other things done.

I did work this weekend. I started on Friday afternoon while waiting in line for my COVID test…

Sadly, I can’t remember if I had a positive test in class last week? Or if it was the week before. It’s all a blur. I do know that I have to update many of those 28 contracts for the kids who are out…I did the art contracts last night. I can’t do science until the last assignment is ready…hopefully sometime today? Although I have a kid meeting during my prep and this long staff meeting after school, so IDK when I will make the weekly video, copy the post to 16 contracts, and then email all those families. Because that all needs to happen too.

It’s been hot. I think today it’s going back down, but Friday there was very little to no air conditioning in our classrooms. Fire alarms were going off randomly and they shut the system down, so it was hot and sweaty and loud all day. I’m hoping today is better. I do know the AC wasn’t working yesterday. Ugh. Prepare for sweat!

Sometimes grading is so very hard. She’s a sweet kid…

But I have no clue what she is talking about.

OK, so off to school. Today is an easy teaching day, at least…mostly. The staff meeting sucks. Already. I hate 2-hour meetings. They lose my brain an hour in, if not sooner. Then home, hopefully to exercise, then finish the stitchdown. I should check my batting stash. Pinbaste tomorrow? Then start quilting? I hope. It’s a plan. I like plans. They tend to keep me on track, both mentally and for life in general.

In a Parallel Universe…

It’s currently Thursday night. I don’t usually write now. I was hoping to be doing the stitchdown on the current quilt, but no. My machine is still not working right. I’m frustrated. I’ll call the store again tomorrow, and then I’ll hope it doesn’t take another 5 weeks to fix it, plus I’ll see what I can do on my mom’s machine. I don’t know that I have the patience to try that tonight, but maybe I will. It will be good to have a comparison to what mine is doing at the moment. Tension is off, needle keeps wandering left…two out of the three problems I took it in for in August. Frustration is not a good feeling at the moment. School is challenging and exhausting (hopefully some of that will get better), there is so little time for anything that isn’t work, and then the thing I really love? Can’t do it. At least I can’t do the part I want to be doing right now. Maybe now is when I truly admit this piece won’t be done for the deadline I was aiming for…and start a new one…the FUCK YOU TEXAS POLITICIANS quilt. The UP YOURS SUPREME COURT quilt. The GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY UTERUS quilt. That’s a cheery mood I’ve got going there.

Mayhaps I should just take my book and my tears of frustration to bed, meditate, get up tomorrow, be fucking efficient as hell at work, pretend the last fucking hour didn’t happen, and try again tomorrow night. With a different machine. In a parallel universe where sewing machines are my friends.

More tomorrow morning…

Sigh. It’s morning. I dreamed about my school laptop battery. It’s dying. But I can’t afford to give up my computer for any period of time for them to replace it, unless they can do it in ONE TWO THREE and we’re done. I’m OK with that. Anything else and IDK what I’m going to do. The computer itself has been randomly turning itself off or freezing down to almost stopping, and then the battery goes from 53% to almost zero in a heartbeat. See above about frustration.

I’m going in to school with deep breaths. I do cry when I get frustrated though. I remember growing up, my dad would get so mad if I cried. He said girls do that to get what they want. I don’t. When I cry, I am genuinely upset and/or frustrated. It’s a normal reaction. I have no control over it. I’m frustrated right now and I’m tired and my blood sugar was high this morning for no apparent reason. Seriously going to meditate in the car. With my eyes open of course. I have a mindset in my head for the day…it will be difficult for the kids, thus difficult for me. When we ask them to do hard things, they don’t respond well. We have to grow that behavior. I’m not always there myself. I have to remind myself that it is hard for them and I can’t react to it. Hard for someone who reacts super fast. I’d be good in a zombie apocalypse…not always good in a middle-school classroom. At least I’m aware of it so I can keep talking myself through it.

So here’s the whole quilt ironed down…

It’s large, about 46″ w by 62″ high…maybe more than that at the moment. There’s a lot of hours that need to go into it to get it done. I’m going to try stitchdown on my mom’s machine that I borrowed in July…but quilting will need to be on a bigger machine. I’m going to call the shop today and try to be calm and say they can’t have it for 5 weeks this time. They didn’t fix it last time. I’m pissed, it’s true. I know they’re busy, but this isn’t OK.

This doesn’t show the other side, where the tension is all over the place. That break on the right is about 5 inches in, because that was the first major issue I had. I can’t afford a new machine right now. I need this one to work. I especially need it to work because my day job is really hard and time-consuming and frustrating and I need something at home NOT to be those things. Well, I’m OK with art being time-consuming…the other two, not right now please. Give me something that feels good.

The man hiked a bit and camped last night.

He sent all those clouds with thunder and lightning to us. I stitched with friends last night…still something I can’t show you. It’ll be almost done by the time it’s published and I’m allowed to share, I think.

Deep breaths for the day. Patience for the munchkins and for myself. Hopefully take the machine in after work and then get COVID tested again. Ugh. Then home and try to make mom’s machine do what I need it to. Read my book. Go to bed at a reasonable hour. Tomorrow I finally get to exercise (like I said, this week has been rough). I still might make this quilt deadline, and if I don’t, there will be somewhere else it can show. It’s not the end of the world.